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POKEMON IN REAL LIFE 5!

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    (Anthony) Let us consult the infinite wisdom
    of the Helix Fossil, oooh--
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    (Ian) SHUT UP!
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    Man, I can't wait to catch
    all the new Pokemon
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    in this region.
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    Oooooh!
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    Sweet, a new item!
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    Wonder what's inside?
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    Hey, hey, hey! You can't do that!
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    First, you have to get the Cut Technique,
    then you have to teach it
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    to a Pokemon, and then
    have that Pokemon
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    cut the bush for you!
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    And THEN you can get the item.
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    -Or I could just push the bush aside--
    -NO, NO, NO! You can't do that!
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    -WHY?!
    -Because...you just can't, okay?!
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    FINE!
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    (sighs) Fricking kids don't know anything
    about cutting their bushes.
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    I hear you're looking
    for the Cut Technique!
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    I've got one...but you're gonna
    have to battle me!
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    Why are you walking like that?
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    It helps my chances
    of battling people! Duh!
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    Uh...well I guess I need
    the Cut Technique, so...let's battle?
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    -Cool! Just walk in front of me!
    -Okay.
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    Just walk in front of me!
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    -Just walk in front of me!
    -(Anthony groans in frustration)
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    Just stop!
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    -Just walk in front of me!
    -STOP!
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    (Ian) Come on, just walk in front of me!
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    (Anthony) Well, can you
    stop walking like that?
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    -Just walk in front of me!
    -(Anthony) Come on!
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    Fricking bath salts!
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    Just walk in--Just walk in.
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    -(gasps)
    -HAH! Gotcha, bitch!
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    I have a very nice scarf.
    It keeps me warm in the winter.
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    Leeeet's battle!
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    -Wait, wait, wait. Why would you say that?
    -Say what?
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    You...nothing. Let's just battle.
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    I like bicycles!
    It feels good when I run over bumps!
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    -Leeeet's battle!
    -God, I hate this place.
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    METROSEXUAL HIPSTER
    wants to fight!
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    Gooooo, Belieber4Evr!
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    METROSEXUAL HIPSTER
    sent out Belieber4Evr!
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    Justin!
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    Belieber4Evr?
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    Shut up! I got him from [inaudible] training
    and I can't change his name!
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    Besides, Bieber's not even that bad.
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    He's even got a six pack!
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    Yeah, whatever. Alright, Charizard,
    I chooooose youuuu!
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    (roaring)
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    I learned from my past mistakes
    and I made sure that my Pokemon
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    has FOUR attacks!
    You don't even stand a chance now, bitch!
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    Oooh, that one looks good!
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    Belieber4Evr, uuuuse Tail Whip!
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    Yeeeeaaaah.
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    CHARIZARD's defense fell!
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    Uh...Charizard, use Rock Smash!
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    (roaring)
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    Ow.
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    CHARIZARD used ROCK SMASH.
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    Alright, Belieber4Evr, annihilate
    his face with a Swagger!
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    Swagger? That's a...that's a move?!
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    Uh, duh-duh-duh.
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    (rap music)
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    [inaudible]
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    CHARIZARD's attack
    sharply rose!
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    CHARIZARD became
    confused!
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    Crap, uh, Charizard
    uuuuse Flame Thrower!
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    CHARIZARD hurt itself
    in its confusion!
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    What?! Why would you punch yourself
    in the face 'cause you're confused?
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    That doesn't even make sense!
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    Can you stop playing this damn song
    while we're battling?!
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    -(keyboard talking) No.
    -(music continues)
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    Okie dokie! Let's blast
    him with a Curse Attack!
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    [bleep] bush [bleep] [bleep][bleep][bleep]
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    [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleep]
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    What the hell is a [bleeping] [bleep]?
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    Belieber4Ever's
    attack and defense rose!
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    Belieber4Ever's
    speed fell!
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    Alright, Charizard.
    Use Flame Thrower again,
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    but this time DON'T PUNCH
    YOURSELF LIKE AN IDIOT!
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    (birds tweeting)
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    CHARIZARD hurt itself in its confusion!
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    This is finally my chance
    to beat one of his Pokemon!
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    Belieber4Evr...
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    uuuuuuuuse...
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    Tickle!
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    (giggling)
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    (Charizard laughs)
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    It's not very effective.
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    CHARIZARD is no longer confused.
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    Alright, Charizard,
    finish him off with a...
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    scratch!
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    OWWWWW! (sobbing)
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    Enemy Belieber4Evr
    has fainted!
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    YEAAAH!
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    NOOOOO!
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    But my Pokemon had so many attacks!
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    Mmm! Mmm mmm mmm!
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    Alright, fine!
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    Here's your stupid Cut Technique.
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    Thank you very much!
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    Is that really necessary?
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    (keyboard talking) Sorry.
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    Alright, now I just need to teach Cut
    to one of my Pokemon!
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    No...no, no.
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    No, no, no!
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    No! No!
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    CANNOT LEARN CUT!
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    SCREW THIS!
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    (grunting)
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    (panting)
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    Alright, there'd better be at good item
    in here or I'm gonna punch
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    this stupid old man in the face!
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    AAAAH!
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    Awww, it's okay that no one loves
    you and you're completely useless.
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    -Karp!
    -(screaming from off screen)
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    Cut that, bitch!
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    (keyboard) H-H-H-H-Head shot.
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    (keyboard) ALL I WANT, WANT NOW!
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    (keyboard) I don't, I don't have any--
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    I don't have any friends.
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    To see behind-the-scenes footage
    and bloopers, click the video right here!
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    I'll shove a Pokemon so far up your butt,
    it's gonna turn into your brain!
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    To see another Pokemon
    In Real Life episode, click right here!
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    How did that crappy song put me to sleep?
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    You think just because I'm
    old I know everything?!
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    If you wanna subscribe
    to those jackasses,
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    you can click that yellow thingamajig.
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    I'm gonna go cut my bush!
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    EW! Not that kind of bush, you sickos!
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    I'm talking about my pubes.
    What were you thinking?
Title:
POKEMON IN REAL LIFE 5!
Description:
more » « less
Video Language:
English
Duration:
06:27

English subtitles

Revisions

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