(Anthony) Let us consult the infinite wisdom of the Helix Fossil, oooh--
(Ian) SHUT UP!
Man, I can't wait to catch all the new Pokemon
in this region.
Oooooh!
Sweet, a new item!
Wonder what's inside?
Hey, hey, hey! You can't do that!
First, you have to get the Cut Technique, then you have to teach it
to a Pokemon, and then have that Pokemon
cut the bush for you!
And THEN you can get the item.
-Or I could just push the bush aside-- -NO, NO, NO! You can't do that!
-WHY?! -Because...you just can't, okay?!
FINE!
(sighs) Fricking kids don't know anything about cutting their bushes.
I hear you're looking for the Cut Technique!
I've got one...but you're gonna have to battle me!
Why are you walking like that?
It helps my chances of battling people! Duh!
Uh...well I guess I need the Cut Technique, so...let's battle?
-Cool! Just walk in front of me! -Okay.
Just walk in front of me!
-Just walk in front of me! -(Anthony groans in frustration)
Just stop!
-Just walk in front of me! -STOP!
(Ian) Come on, just walk in front of me!
(Anthony) Well, can you stop walking like that?
-Just walk in front of me! -(Anthony) Come on!
Fricking bath salts!
Just walk in--Just walk in.
-(gasps) -HAH! Gotcha, bitch!
I have a very nice scarf. It keeps me warm in the winter.
Leeeet's battle!
-Wait, wait, wait. Why would you say that? -Say what?
You...nothing. Let's just battle.
I like bicycles! It feels good when I run over bumps!
-Leeeet's battle! -God, I hate this place.
METROSEXUAL HIPSTER wants to fight!
Gooooo, Belieber4Evr!
METROSEXUAL HIPSTER sent out Belieber4Evr!
Justin!
Belieber4Evr?
Shut up! I got him from [inaudible] training and I can't change his name!
Besides, Bieber's not even that bad.
He's even got a six pack!
Yeah, whatever. Alright, Charizard, I chooooose youuuu!
(roaring)
I learned from my past mistakes and I made sure that my Pokemon
has FOUR attacks! You don't even stand a chance now, bitch!
Oooh, that one looks good!
Belieber4Evr, uuuuse Tail Whip!
Yeeeeaaaah.
CHARIZARD's defense fell!
Uh...Charizard, use Rock Smash!
(roaring)
Ow.
CHARIZARD used ROCK SMASH.
Alright, Belieber4Evr, annihilate his face with a Swagger!
Swagger? That's a...that's a move?!
Uh, duh-duh-duh.
(rap music)
[inaudible]
CHARIZARD's attack sharply rose!
CHARIZARD became confused!
Crap, uh, Charizard uuuuse Flame Thrower!
CHARIZARD hurt itself in its confusion!
What?! Why would you punch yourself in the face 'cause you're confused?
That doesn't even make sense!
Can you stop playing this damn song while we're battling?!
-(keyboard talking) No. -(music continues)
Okie dokie! Let's blast him with a Curse Attack!
[bleep] bush [bleep] [bleep][bleep][bleep]
[bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleep]
What the hell is a [bleeping] [bleep]?
Belieber4Ever's attack and defense rose!
Belieber4Ever's speed fell!
Alright, Charizard. Use Flame Thrower again,
but this time DON'T PUNCH YOURSELF LIKE AN IDIOT!
(birds tweeting)
CHARIZARD hurt itself in its confusion!
This is finally my chance to beat one of his Pokemon!
Belieber4Evr...
uuuuuuuuse...
Tickle!
(giggling)
(Charizard laughs)
It's not very effective.
CHARIZARD is no longer confused.
Alright, Charizard, finish him off with a...
scratch!
OWWWWW! (sobbing)
Enemy Belieber4Evr has fainted!
YEAAAH!
NOOOOO!
But my Pokemon had so many attacks!
Mmm! Mmm mmm mmm!
Alright, fine!
Here's your stupid Cut Technique.
Thank you very much!
Is that really necessary?
(keyboard talking) Sorry.
Alright, now I just need to teach Cut to one of my Pokemon!
No...no, no.
No, no, no!
No! No!
CANNOT LEARN CUT!
SCREW THIS!
(grunting)
(panting)
Alright, there'd better be at good item in here or I'm gonna punch
this stupid old man in the face!
AAAAH!
Awww, it's okay that no one loves you and you're completely useless.
-Karp! -(screaming from off screen)
Cut that, bitch!
(keyboard) H-H-H-H-Head shot.
(keyboard) ALL I WANT, WANT NOW!
(keyboard) I don't, I don't have any--
I don't have any friends.
To see behind-the-scenes footage and bloopers, click the video right here!
I'll shove a Pokemon so far up your butt, it's gonna turn into your brain!
To see another Pokemon In Real Life episode, click right here!
How did that crappy song put me to sleep?
You think just because I'm old I know everything?!
If you wanna subscribe to those jackasses,
you can click that yellow thingamajig.
I'm gonna go cut my bush!
EW! Not that kind of bush, you sickos!
I'm talking about my pubes. What were you thinking?