1
00:00:01,410 --> 00:00:06,960
(Anthony) Let us consult the infinite wisdom
of the Helix Fossil, oooh--

2
00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:08,000
(Ian) SHUT UP!

3
00:00:09,123 --> 00:00:12,163
Man, I can't wait to catch
all the new Pokemon

4
00:00:12,173 --> 00:00:12,963
in this region.

5
00:00:13,046 --> 00:00:14,216
Oooooh!

6
00:00:14,708 --> 00:00:16,348
Sweet, a new item!

7
00:00:16,543 --> 00:00:18,023
Wonder what's inside?

8
00:00:18,096 --> 00:00:19,776
Hey, hey, hey! You can't do that!

9
00:00:20,089 --> 00:00:23,089
First, you have to get the Cut Technique, 
then you have to teach it

10
00:00:23,127 --> 00:00:25,307
to a Pokemon, and then
have that Pokemon

11
00:00:25,307 --> 00:00:26,477
cut the bush for you!

12
00:00:26,547 --> 00:00:28,997
And THEN you can get the item.

13
00:00:29,266 --> 00:00:33,266
-Or I could just push the bush aside--
-NO, NO, NO! You can't do that!

14
00:00:33,266 --> 00:00:36,686
-WHY?! 
-Because...you just can't, okay?!

15
00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:37,775
FINE!

16
00:00:39,015 --> 00:00:42,915
(sighs) Fricking kids don't know anything
about cutting their bushes.

17
00:00:43,915 --> 00:00:45,965
I hear you're looking 
for the Cut Technique!

18
00:00:46,055 --> 00:00:50,775
I've got one...but you're gonna 
have to battle me!

19
00:00:51,035 --> 00:00:52,425
Why are you walking like that?

20
00:00:52,425 --> 00:00:55,005
It helps my chances 
of battling people! Duh!

21
00:00:55,666 --> 00:00:59,566
Uh...well I guess I need
the Cut Technique, so...let's battle?

22
00:00:59,730 --> 00:01:02,750
-Cool! Just walk in front of me!
-Okay.

23
00:01:03,300 --> 00:01:04,560
Just walk in front of me!

24
00:01:04,938 --> 00:01:06,338
-Just walk in front of me! 
-(Anthony groans in frustration)

25
00:01:06,363 --> 00:01:07,183
Just stop!

26
00:01:07,633 --> 00:01:09,343
-Just walk in front of me! 
-STOP!

27
00:01:09,343 --> 00:01:10,583
(Ian) Come on, just walk in front of me!

28
00:01:10,593 --> 00:01:11,943
(Anthony) Well, can you
stop walking like that?

29
00:01:11,954 --> 00:01:13,714
-Just walk in front of me! 
-(Anthony) Come on!

30
00:01:13,714 --> 00:01:15,204
Fricking bath salts!

31
00:01:15,664 --> 00:01:17,444
Just walk in--Just walk in.

32
00:01:17,616 --> 00:01:18,916
-(gasps)
-HAH! Gotcha, bitch!

33
00:01:19,403 --> 00:01:21,983
I have a very nice scarf. 
It keeps me warm in the winter.

34
00:01:22,153 --> 00:01:23,593
Leeeet's battle!

35
00:01:24,676 --> 00:01:27,096
-Wait, wait, wait. Why would you say that?
-Say what?

36
00:01:27,534 --> 00:01:30,714
You...nothing. Let's just battle.

37
00:01:31,074 --> 00:01:33,964
I like bicycles! 
It feels good when I run over bumps!

38
00:01:34,189 --> 00:01:37,809
-Leeeet's battle! 
-God, I hate this place.

39
00:01:39,705 --> 00:01:41,595
METROSEXUAL HIPSTER
wants to fight!

40
00:01:42,382 --> 00:01:44,822
Gooooo, Belieber4Evr!

41
00:01:45,142 --> 00:01:46,072
METROSEXUAL HIPSTER
sent out Belieber4Evr!

42
00:01:46,072 --> 00:01:46,932
Justin!

43
00:01:47,401 --> 00:01:48,691
Belieber4Evr?

44
00:01:49,020 --> 00:01:52,590
Shut up! I got him from [inaudible] training
and I can't change his name!

45
00:01:52,660 --> 00:01:54,600
Besides, Bieber's not even that bad.

46
00:01:54,946 --> 00:01:56,936
He's even got a six pack!

47
00:01:57,036 --> 00:02:01,546
Yeah, whatever. Alright, Charizard,
I chooooose youuuu!

48
00:02:02,969 --> 00:02:04,369
(roaring)

49
00:02:05,949 --> 00:02:09,029
I learned from my past mistakes 
and I made sure that my Pokemon

50
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:12,959
has FOUR attacks! 
You don't even stand a chance now, bitch!

51
00:02:15,361 --> 00:02:16,481
Oooh, that one looks good!

52
00:02:17,057 --> 00:02:20,737
Belieber4Evr, uuuuse Tail Whip!

53
00:02:28,322 --> 00:02:29,552
Yeeeeaaaah.

54
00:02:29,752 --> 00:02:31,852
CHARIZARD's defense fell!

55
00:02:31,855 --> 00:02:35,915
Uh...Charizard, use Rock Smash!

56
00:02:36,576 --> 00:02:38,746
(roaring)

57
00:02:40,893 --> 00:02:41,623
Ow.

58
00:02:41,673 --> 00:02:43,333
CHARIZARD used ROCK SMASH.

59
00:02:43,468 --> 00:02:47,318
Alright, Belieber4Evr, annihilate 
his face with a Swagger!

60
00:02:47,814 --> 00:02:49,764
Swagger? That's a...that's a move?!

61
00:02:49,884 --> 00:02:50,904
Uh, duh-duh-duh.

62
00:02:51,062 --> 00:02:53,832
(rap music)

63
00:02:57,415 --> 00:02:59,195
[inaudible]

64
00:03:02,718 --> 00:03:04,858
CHARIZARD's attack 
sharply rose!

65
00:03:04,858 --> 00:03:06,638
CHARIZARD became 
confused!

66
00:03:06,638 --> 00:03:10,098
Crap, uh, Charizard
uuuuse Flame Thrower!

67
00:03:11,855 --> 00:03:13,915
CHARIZARD hurt itself
in its confusion!

68
00:03:13,964 --> 00:03:16,424
What?! Why would you punch yourself
in the face 'cause you're confused?

69
00:03:16,424 --> 00:03:17,974
That doesn't even make sense!

70
00:03:18,959 --> 00:03:21,359
Can you stop playing this damn song
while we're battling?!

71
00:03:23,799 --> 00:03:25,819
-(keyboard talking) No. 
-(music continues)

72
00:03:26,202 --> 00:03:29,532
Okie dokie! Let's blast 
him with a Curse Attack!

73
00:03:29,902 --> 00:03:33,642
[bleep] bush [bleep] [bleep][bleep][bleep]

74
00:03:33,642 --> 00:03:37,052
[bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleep]

75
00:03:37,496 --> 00:03:39,586
What the hell is a [bleeping] [bleep]?

76
00:03:39,726 --> 00:03:41,326
Belieber4Ever's
attack and defense rose!

77
00:03:41,384 --> 00:03:43,024
Belieber4Ever's
speed fell!

78
00:03:43,141 --> 00:03:45,911
Alright, Charizard. 
Use Flame Thrower again,

79
00:03:45,911 --> 00:03:47,691
but this time DON'T PUNCH 
YOURSELF LIKE AN IDIOT!

80
00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:49,602
(birds tweeting)

81
00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:54,887
CHARIZARD hurt itself in its confusion!

82
00:03:54,921 --> 00:03:58,001
This is finally my chance 
to beat one of his Pokemon!

83
00:03:58,431 --> 00:03:59,871
Belieber4Evr...

84
00:04:01,121 --> 00:04:03,411
uuuuuuuuse...

85
00:04:03,619 --> 00:04:04,289
Tickle!

86
00:04:05,673 --> 00:04:07,193
(giggling)

87
00:04:07,863 --> 00:04:10,093
(Charizard laughs)

88
00:04:11,404 --> 00:04:12,944
It's not very effective.

89
00:04:12,944 --> 00:04:14,784
CHARIZARD is no longer confused.

90
00:04:14,884 --> 00:04:18,554
Alright, Charizard, 
finish him off with a...

91
00:04:18,904 --> 00:04:20,214
scratch!

92
00:04:24,034 --> 00:04:27,934
OWWWWW! (sobbing)

93
00:04:29,831 --> 00:04:31,251
Enemy Belieber4Evr
has fainted!

94
00:04:31,321 --> 00:04:32,251
YEAAAH!

95
00:04:32,251 --> 00:04:34,281
NOOOOO!

96
00:04:34,281 --> 00:04:38,111
But my Pokemon had so many attacks!

97
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,881
Mmm! Mmm mmm mmm!

98
00:04:39,881 --> 00:04:40,801
Alright, fine!

99
00:04:40,801 --> 00:04:42,571
Here's your stupid Cut Technique.

100
00:04:42,571 --> 00:04:43,871
Thank you very much!

101
00:04:46,081 --> 00:04:47,821
Is that really necessary?

102
00:04:49,574 --> 00:04:50,874
(keyboard talking) Sorry.

103
00:04:55,362 --> 00:04:58,682
Alright, now I just need to teach Cut
to one of my Pokemon!

104
00:05:00,802 --> 00:05:02,772
No...no, no.

105
00:05:02,772 --> 00:05:04,112
No, no, no!

106
00:05:04,142 --> 00:05:05,082
No! No!

107
00:05:05,947 --> 00:05:07,107
CANNOT LEARN CUT!

108
00:05:07,709 --> 00:05:08,859
SCREW THIS!

109
00:05:08,979 --> 00:05:10,459
(grunting)

110
00:05:14,276 --> 00:05:15,806
(panting)

111
00:05:18,743 --> 00:05:21,703
Alright, there'd better be at good item
in here or I'm gonna punch

112
00:05:21,703 --> 00:05:23,523
this stupid old man in the face!

113
00:05:28,964 --> 00:05:29,994
AAAAH!

114
00:05:30,860 --> 00:05:34,800
Awww, it's okay that no one loves
you and you're completely useless.

115
00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:35,910
-Karp! 
-(screaming from off screen)

116
00:05:36,946 --> 00:05:38,396
Cut that, bitch!

117
00:05:38,923 --> 00:05:40,603
(keyboard) H-H-H-H-Head shot.

118
00:05:42,426 --> 00:05:44,756
(keyboard) ALL I WANT, WANT NOW!

119
00:05:48,575 --> 00:05:49,865
(keyboard) I don't, I don't have any--

120
00:05:49,865 --> 00:05:51,735
I don't have any friends.

121
00:05:54,587 --> 00:05:59,093
To see behind-the-scenes footage 
and bloopers, click the video right here!

122
00:05:59,093 --> 00:06:02,393
I'll shove a Pokemon so far up your butt,
it's gonna turn into your brain!

123
00:06:02,564 --> 00:06:06,764
To see another Pokemon
In Real Life episode, click right here!

124
00:06:07,254 --> 00:06:09,344
How did that crappy song put me to sleep?

125
00:06:09,434 --> 00:06:12,104
You think just because I'm 
old I know everything?!

126
00:06:12,454 --> 00:06:15,204
If you wanna subscribe 
to those jackasses,

127
00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:18,262
you can click that yellow thingamajig.

128
00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:20,519
I'm gonna go cut my bush!

129
00:06:21,079 --> 00:06:23,439
EW! Not that kind of bush, you sickos!

130
00:06:23,639 --> 00:06:26,110
I'm talking about my pubes.
What were you thinking?