The language of madness | Shayda Kafai | TEDxCPP
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0:05 - 0:08I want to first say
that I want to dedicate this talk -
0:08 - 0:14to all the folks who lean into the unknown
and share their stories anyway. -
0:14 - 0:17I want to dedicate this talk
to my wife, Amy. -
0:17 - 0:21(Applause)
-
0:24 - 0:29I want to begin by sharing
with you all a part of myself. -
0:29 - 0:31It's something that I don't talk
frequently about. -
0:32 - 0:37When I was 17, I was diagnosed
with manic depression. -
0:37 - 0:38I want to stop there
-
0:38 - 0:43because by uttering those
two small words, "manic depression", -
0:43 - 0:48I've just created very strong
negative ripple effect in this auditorium. -
0:50 - 0:53Perhaps you're now viewing
my body differently than you did -
0:53 - 0:54when you heard my intro.
-
0:54 - 0:58Perhaps you're ascribing stereotypes
onto my body that aren't mine. -
0:59 - 1:03I think it's important that you all know
that at this point I want to say, -
1:03 - 1:06"Thank you all for listening",
and I want to go off stage, -
1:06 - 1:08but I'm going to stay.
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1:08 - 1:11(Applause)
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1:12 - 1:14So much clapping.
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1:14 - 1:15(Laughter)
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1:17 - 1:21We're all familiar
with the phrases "depression", -
1:21 - 1:23we're familiar with the term "mania".
-
1:23 - 1:27Perhaps you've used
these words colloquially. -
1:27 - 1:31"I feel so depressed today."
"He's acting so manic." -
1:31 - 1:34For me, mania and depression
-
1:34 - 1:38were felt in more invasive,
regular everyday ways. -
1:39 - 1:41They literally invaded into my everyday.
-
1:41 - 1:44And although this is just my experience,
-
1:44 - 1:46I think that it's important to know too
-
1:46 - 1:48that everyone's experience
is radically different. -
1:50 - 1:52I was 17, I graduated high school,
-
1:52 - 1:56I was beginning my journey
into a local JC, -
1:56 - 2:01and for me, depression felt
like an overwhelming weightiness. -
2:01 - 2:04I felt like I was in a room
without a door knob. -
2:04 - 2:06Getting out of the bed
and beginning the day -
2:06 - 2:08was a success in and of itself.
-
2:09 - 2:12I was so suicidal that I couldn't drive,
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2:12 - 2:15so my mother would drive me to my college,
-
2:15 - 2:19wait for three hours in the parking lot,
pick me up, drive me back home. -
2:20 - 2:23Although it wasn't as frequent
or as long-standing, -
2:23 - 2:28for me, mania was an overwhelming sense
of focus and energy, -
2:28 - 2:30and I truly felt, invincible.
-
2:31 - 2:35By the time I finished my PhD work,
-
2:35 - 2:37I was hospitalized four times.
-
2:38 - 2:43Now, this is not how
I was going to start my TED talk. -
2:43 - 2:44Not even close.
-
2:44 - 2:47I was going to talk to you all
-
2:47 - 2:50about the statistics surrounding madness.
-
2:50 - 2:52I was going to talk to you
about semantics. -
2:52 - 2:55I was going to tell you about the history,
-
2:55 - 2:58of how we conceive of
and inscribe madness, -
2:58 - 3:02and it wasn't until the fourth draft
of my talk that I realized -
3:02 - 3:06I had completely written myself
out of this conversation, -
3:06 - 3:09and I had to pause and ask myself why.
-
3:09 - 3:13Why in a talk where I was going to explore
the negative ripple effects -
3:13 - 3:17created by the ways
in which we conceive of madness, -
3:17 - 3:20had I written out my narrative?
-
3:20 - 3:23A narrative that so completely fit
into the conversation. -
3:23 - 3:25And the answer is simple,
-
3:25 - 3:29and I think absolutely problematic
in its simplicity. -
3:29 - 3:31And it's one word.
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3:31 - 3:35It's shame and it's stigma.
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3:35 - 3:38Even as I stand here before all of you,
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3:38 - 3:43I am feeling very apprehensive
about how I am being read, -
3:43 - 3:45how my body is being read,
-
3:45 - 3:49by my former, my current,
my future students. -
3:50 - 3:54How is my body and my identity
being read by my colleagues. -
3:54 - 4:00Am I being read as inferior,
as incompetent, as untrustworthy? -
4:02 - 4:07Some of you might even be sitting
and thinking quietly to yourselves, -
4:07 - 4:10"But she doesn't look crazy."
-
4:10 - 4:15And to that question, I ask you,
but what does craziness look like? -
4:15 - 4:19And in fact, we have been taught
what craziness looks like, right? -
4:19 - 4:23Many institutions
in our society have taught us -
4:23 - 4:29and have helped us cultivate a very strict
and rigid understanding of madness. -
4:29 - 4:31And just to illustrate the speed
at which this happens, -
4:31 - 4:34and has happened for all of us
since we were very young, -
4:34 - 4:38I want you all to pause with me and think.
-
4:38 - 4:41What do you think of,
what images, what connotations, -
4:41 - 4:45what do you think of when you hear
the word "insane"? -
4:45 - 4:49What do you think of when you hear
the word "crazy"? -
4:49 - 4:54What connotations and images come to mind
when you hear the phrase "mental illness"? -
4:56 - 4:58Perhaps your thoughts and your images
-
4:58 - 5:04are informed by the way
the news media ascribes disabilities, -
5:04 - 5:07psychiatric disabilities, and madness.
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5:07 - 5:10Perhaps your thoughts
are informed by literature, -
5:10 - 5:13by graphic novels, by the movies.
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5:13 - 5:15I go to the movies.
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5:16 - 5:19Perhaps you thought of "Girl Interrupted",
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5:21 - 5:23"One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest",
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5:24 - 5:25"Psycho",
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5:26 - 5:28"Mommy Dearest",
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5:29 - 5:30or "A Beautiful Mind".
-
5:32 - 5:36Irregardless of where
you've given these images -
5:36 - 5:39or where you've gotten these images from,
-
5:39 - 5:44I think that a very rigid list
of stereotypes gets created. -
5:44 - 5:48And although we probably did it together
and keep adding to this list, -
5:48 - 5:51a very brief list is as follows.
-
5:51 - 5:57Folks with psychiatric disabilities
are often viewed as being dangerous, -
5:57 - 6:01unpredictable, incompetent,
-
6:01 - 6:06unstable, irrational, and irresponsible.
-
6:06 - 6:10Now, the images or connotations
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6:10 - 6:13that you so quickly call to mind
-
6:13 - 6:16when I ask you all to pause
and just meditate on the words -
6:16 - 6:20"insane", "crazy", and "mental illness",
-
6:20 - 6:23the images that I've pulled up
that my mind went to, -
6:23 - 6:26and this list of stereotypes,
-
6:26 - 6:31this is why it took me four drafts
to write myself in this talk. -
6:31 - 6:37The sheer universality of these terms
and these images, and the weightiness -
6:37 - 6:40regulate folks
with psychiatric disabilities, -
6:40 - 6:41regulate me.
-
6:43 - 6:48I think it's really important to know
that, unlike other illnesses of the mind, -
6:48 - 6:53psychiatric disabilities carry with them
something that's very distinct and unique. -
6:53 - 6:56They carry a moral judgement
on the individual. -
6:58 - 7:02So, what do we do with all of this?
-
7:02 - 7:04Before telling you that,
I want to tell you -
7:04 - 7:06what the purpose of this talk is not.
-
7:06 - 7:09I think often, when folks
with disabilities of any kind -
7:09 - 7:11share their narratives or speak,
-
7:11 - 7:15they are often seen as an inspiration.
-
7:15 - 7:19Their story is meant to be heard
and is meant to inspire you -
7:19 - 7:21to bettering your life
as non-disabled folks, -
7:21 - 7:24or even as other disabled folks.
-
7:24 - 7:28I am here to tell you
that I am not your inspiration. -
7:28 - 7:30That's not my purpose.
-
7:30 - 7:33The purpose of this talk is to ask
-
7:33 - 7:37that we collectively cultivate
a community and space -
7:37 - 7:40for unlearning the stereotypes and stigmas
-
7:40 - 7:43that we ascribe
to psychiatric disabilities. -
7:44 - 7:46I want us to live in a place
-
7:46 - 7:49where someone sharing
that they have manic depression -
7:49 - 7:54is as benign as someone saying
to another person, "I have diabetes." -
7:56 - 7:58I want us to live in a place
where the moral judgements -
7:58 - 8:03that often get placed onto folks
with psychiatric disabilities is removed. -
8:04 - 8:09I want us to live in a place
where I can come before a group of people, -
8:09 - 8:12or just a person,
-
8:12 - 8:13this way,
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8:13 - 8:16and stand and say,
"My name is Shayda Kafai. -
8:16 - 8:19I'm a professor in the Ethnic
and Women Studies Department -
8:19 - 8:24at Cal Poly Pomona.
I have manic depression." -
8:24 - 8:25Thank you.
-
8:25 - 8:27(Applause)
- Title:
- The language of madness | Shayda Kafai | TEDxCPP
- Description:
-
Why do we say words that don’t mean what they mean? People have changed the definition of words within pop culture. The language created is then one in which people can get hurt or afraid open up to others.
Dr. Shayda Kafai is a lecturer at California State Polytechnic University, Pomona’s Ethnic and Women Studies Department. She earned her Ph.D. in Cultural Studies from Claremont Graduate University. Her dissertation titled Re-inscribing Disability: The Performance Activism of Sins Invalid explores the performance art and disability justice work of Sins Invalid, a San Francisco Bay Area based performance project. As a queer, disabled woman of color, she is committed to exploring the numerous ways we can reclaim our bodies from intersecting systems of oppression. Shayda lives in Los Angeles with her wife, Amy.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDxTalks
- Duration:
- 08:31
Leonardo Silva approved English subtitles for The language of madness | Shayda Kafai | TEDxCPP | ||
Leonardo Silva edited English subtitles for The language of madness | Shayda Kafai | TEDxCPP | ||
Tijana Mihajlović accepted English subtitles for The language of madness | Shayda Kafai | TEDxCPP | ||
Tijana Mihajlović edited English subtitles for The language of madness | Shayda Kafai | TEDxCPP | ||
Ivana Krivokuća edited English subtitles for The language of madness | Shayda Kafai | TEDxCPP | ||
Ivana Krivokuća edited English subtitles for The language of madness | Shayda Kafai | TEDxCPP |