STOP MAKING STUFF UP ABOUT ME - Danny Gonzalez/2 Danny 2 Furious

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edited by Jake Mayer https://www.instagram.com/jakeshotfriend/?utm_medium=copy_link

Welcome back to the
second channel, everybody,

we've got a crazy video today.

I'm gonna crack open a nice
sparkling water

(crack, pop, fizz)

AH!

FUCK!

Got on my keyboard, that's very cool.

I didn't even get the cap off,
by the way,

it's still on and it's just sprayed out
like that.

That's very cool.

Okay.

Hope I didn't just totally
destroy my keyboard.

Let me go get a towel real quick.

(cartoon running sound effect)

And I'll just toss this over there.

(wet slapping noise)

Ah, damn.

And I'll open the rest of this lid.

(electronic rave music)

Alright.

Alright, today we're gonna
be talking about

these weird ass articles

that these companies
write about Youtubers.

I did a video on my main channel
like, a long time ago

about these articles, but

since then I feel like they've gotten
even worse.

Companies like this, whatever wiki
website this is,

will try to like, write an article

with anything that you might
search about someone

so, "Danny Gonzalez Wife, Age,
Net Worth, Married."

It's got "wife" and "married"
in the same thing, like,

"Sure, we know he has a wife,
but are they married?"

They'll try to like, compile all
of these things into an article,

that way if you google, like,
"Danny Gonzalez age"

this comes up.

But they'll also try to like fill it
with information that, I--

they don't know.

Cause they'll just make shit up.

And what I think has happened
over the years

is that one article will kind of, like,
overexaggerate how much they know,

and then another article will take info
from THAT article

and then they'll fudge a little bit more,

and it's just this like snowballing effect
to now, like,

these articles have, just,
shit that is nowhere near true.

Especially the second article
we're gonna be talking about.

I've got two articles here,

one of them someone tweeted at me,

and then some-- another one was
in the subreddit.

So thank you guys for sharing these.

But it is pretty bizarre.

Really, I'm getting on here
to set the record straight,

because there's a lot of false
information being spread about me.

And I guess I gotta correct
the record, alright?

So this one's on this
website called Wiki.

Let's take a look.

Danny Gonzalez was born in
Illinois, USA, on June 12th, 1994.

That beautiful city Illinois, USA.

His zodiac sign is Gemini and he holds
American nationality.

Okay, so far we're doing pretty good.

Here's where things start
to go a little bit awry.

Danny was raised an only child--

(thud sound)
Not true.

in Illinois by his Mexican parents--

(thud sound)
Not true.

I do have a quarter Mexican in me,

but it's just on my dad's side, so

I would not call my parents
my "Mexican parents."

Who were both in the
real estate business--

I don't know where the
fuck they got that from.

I don't think I've ever talked
about what my parents do for a living

in any of my videos.

So I don't know if they're
just making that up

or they, like, misinterpreted
something I said one time,

like my-- if I said like I have--

my parents own a house?

And they were like,

"Oh! So they're in the
real estate business."

I guess technically true.

They have one investment property.

It's where they live.

At the age of thirteen, he moved
with his family

to Atlanta, Georgia and
enrolled at a high school there.

(thud sound)
Not true.

This is something I've seen before
in other articles,

so I'm assuming they got it from those,

but they were wrong and so is this one.

People who write this article,
if you're watching this,

listen up, alright?

I'm gonna te--
I'm gonna set the record straight.

I did not move to Atlanta in high school.

I did live in Atlanta.

But it was for college.

I lived in Illinois until
I went to college.

You know what I think it is?

As much as it upsets me to say this,

maybe I said in a video years ago
that I live in Atlanta

and they were like,

"Okay, this guy looks thirteen,
and he lives in Atlanta.

So that's when he moved to Georgia."

But really I was in college
and I just looked thirteen.

That's like, the only guess I have,
is that they just kind of like,

mis-aged me,

and were like, "Yeah, you're thirteen.

And you go to high school in Atlanta."
(laughs)

Danny became interested
in social media networks

while attending high school,

as most of his friends were active on social networks
such as Vine, Facebook, and Instagram.

Vine didn't come out
until I was in college, actually.

These are things that
you could just Google.

What if I just google,

How old was Danny in June 2012?

Guess I should specify that.
Danny Gonzalez.

I don't--

Little vain of me to think
that that would come up.

His birthday was in June of 1994.

So he was 18 in June of 2012.
He had just graduated high school.

Not that freakin' hard to figure out.

He was physically active, as he played
soccer, football,

and was also a member
of his high school's drama club.

This is so freakin'...

strange.

Maybe if you search "Danny Gonzalez"

like, a picture of somebody
playing soccer comes up?

I did not play soccer in high school.

I did not play football in high school.

Not seeing anybody playing soccer.

This guy looks pretty strong.

Maybe they saw this,

thought this was me,

and were like, "How did he get so strong?"

Oh wait! Lookit!

Ohhh shit.

Do you think they scrolled
down all the way to here,

saw this picture of a guy
that's clearly not me,

and thought to themselves,

"Ohhhh. He played soccer in
high school. Very cool."

Okay, so, I played soccer and football--

Honestly, my life sounds way cooler
in this article than it does in real life.

I was like the new kid in high school
in the big city of Atlanta,

I was the star of the
football and soccer team.

Danny matriculated in 2012--

Okay, so they DO know when I matric--

They know when I graduated.

I'm assuming that's
what "matriculated" means.

To be enrolled at a college or university.

So what they're saying is,

"Danny enrolled in 2012, and
then enrolled in Georgia Tech."

So they know when I started college, then.

So they know that Vine didn't exist

if they had just like, taken
one second to think about it.

Danny launched his career on the Internet
while attending high school

as his Vine account numbered
more than 2 million followers.

Dude, the words they use in this
article are kind of impressive though.

"Matriculated."

The next sentence says,

"He launched his eh--

Ep--

Eh-PONY-miss Youtube Channel.

Ee-PONY-miss.

Eponymous?

It's got the word "pony" in there.

"He launched his pony-themed
Youtube channel on September 9th, 2014,

and has since gathered more
than 4.1 million subscribers.

Okay, they wrote this
article a little while ago.

What is epi-- "epinomous" mean?

It means,

"Giving their name to something."

Okay, so it's like my
self-titled Youtube channel.

Danny's love life, is he married?

Okay, there's a bunch of
weird shit in here too, I remember.

Oh yeah.

Laura is a dancer and photographer,

whose Instagram account is
followed by over 5,000 people.

Again, they're making
shit up for Laura, too!

I don't know where they found, like,
I-- okay,

she has an Instagram?

So that makes her a photographer?

And maybe she--

No, she's never danced. On anything.

So I don't know where they got that.

I like how I said she's NEVER danced.

(rock music playing)
"She's-- she's NEVER danced.

Laura doesn't know how to dance, alright?

She's got two left feet.

Literally.
(sad piano music)

She has this weird condition
where both of her feet are left feet.

She's never danced.

She is also said to be a model.

She's not one, but everyone says so.

Hobbies and interests.

Alright, before I even read
this part of the article,

I'm gonna say what, like, my actual
hobbies and interests are,

and then we will see how
closely it lines up with

what is in the article.

Okay?

Hobbies and interests.

I like to...

uh, produce music.

That's one of my biggest hobbies.

I like playing guitar.

Interests?

I like Star Wars a lot.

That's like one of my big, like,
movie franchises that I'm into.

What other hobbies do I have?

I've got friends that
live in cool locations,

so I like to go visit friends.

And, honestly, making videos is
kind of a hobby as well.

Okay.

Danny is keen on traveling and
has been to several US states.

Okay, so I did say that
I like to go visit friends.

I like that they say
I really like traveling

because I've been to several US states.
(sparkling sound)

(wholesome guitar music)
"Danny has been to more than one state in his life,

so I guess you could say
he's kind of a world traveler.

He's explored exotic cultures such as

Colorado and Wisconsin."

While he prefers to be in nature
surrounded by trees and animals--

I feel like that's taking some liberties.

I'm trying to figure out

if I've ever posted like, a picture
of me in the middle of the woods

surrounded by animals like
I'm in Snow White.

Okay, there's a-- there's a picture
from August of 2020

of me in a field of sunflowers.

And there's a picture of me
in an apple orchard with Laura.

Okay. No, you know what?

From what I've posted on social media,

the nature thing makes sense.

I've got some pictures of
me in natural locations.

None surrounded by animals.

I'm trying to think if
I've ever been, like, in a--

surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves
and like taken a quick picture.

(wolves howling)
I love it here.

This rules. I prefer this over
the big city any day.

He likes to dress up
and attend cosplay events.

I don't think I've ever
been to a cosplay event

in my whole life.

I don't know where they got that from.

So there's this picture of
me in a grape costume

that was for, actually it was cause

we went to a filming, a taping
of, uh, a game show.

What's it, what was it called...

Let's Make A Deal.
(ding)

Um, which Laura was actually on.

And she actually got to
talk to Wayne Brady.

So if you can find this episode,

you can see me and
Laura dressed as grapes.

And there's the picture of me
dressed as Kuzco for Halloween, so.

I guess that's where they got
me attending cosplay events?

"Danny likes to dress up as grapes

and go to grape cosplaying events.

You ever heard of Fruit Con?

Everybody dresses up
as their favorite fruit.

They have panels where
you can listen to grapefruits

talk about what it's
like in the industry."

Danny is a lover of animals
but doesn't have a pet

because he would lack time
to take proper care of it.

That's kinda fucked up.

(whimsical, cheekt music)
"Danny doesn't have a pet

cause he wouldn't--

he's la-- he wouldn't take time

to take care of it.

So he can't do that."

I actually do have a pet.

I have three, so.

Fuck you.

And I don't take care of any of them.

I haven't seen them in WEEKS, so.

I guess I don't really know
if I have pets anymore, because

I haven't seen them.

But I did at one time.

That's kinda mean.

I definitely post pictures of
Sundae all the time,

and when I had Peanut
I posted pictures of her all the time.

And Laura has two guinea pigs, so.

Don't know where they're getting that.

I could have even more pets, dude.

I'm gonna adopt three more dogs
just to prove them wrong.

Oh wait, I missed this part.

He is quite physically active

and he occasionally plays basketball
and soccer with his friends

and also has several training
sessions at the gym each week.

Well, that's kinda nice.

They think I'm strong?

I don't play basketball or soccer.

I do go to the gym sometimes, so.

Glad it's finally paying off
(rock music plays)

and wiki dot...

whatever this website is
is finally taking notice.

Anyway, that's pretty much
the end of the article.

They get my favorite
movies totally wrong.

They say my favorite movies are

Pulp Fiction, Fight Club,
and The Godfather.

I've never seen two of those.

And they say my favorite actors are
Bruce Willis and John Travolta,

when, to be honest,

I don't give a shit about them.

Bruce Willis and John Travolta aren't
even close to my favorite actors, alright?

Actually I don't even think
I have a favorite actor, but

it's ANYONE but these two.
(kids saying "ew" sound)

That was the first article.

This one is INSANE.

I actually haven't read
any of this article

except for just the one snippet

that somebody posted in my subreddit.

So I only know that
that one part is insane.

So maybe the rest of
it is perfectly normal

and then there's just
one huge glaring issue.

We will find out.

This website is called

Hollywood ZAM.

Hollywood zam, zaddy.

Danny Gonzalez is an internet celebrity

and actor from Wheaton, Illinois.

Ooh, they put actor in there, that's cool.

These articles really do make
my life sound cooler than it is.

I'm playing basketball and soccer
all the time,

I'm an Actor.

I'm a Youtuber, musician, Twitch streamer,

media face--

What is "media face?"

It sounds like another word for like,
spokesperson or something.

I'm the media face for...

uh,

I don't know.

Kohl's.

And they just put my face
on all of the media that they have.

Every commercial is just

my face.
(woman voiceover) Kohl's cash!

He is well known throughout the country

for his outstanding Youtube videos.

Thank you!

Danny was born in Wheaton, Illinois
in the United States.

He has claimed to be
residing in the United States.

Danny will be 27 years old in 2021.

This is all good so far.

After finishing elementary school

he went to Wheaton North High School.

I did go to middle school
in between there,

but thanks for assuming, I guess,

that I skipped three years

and went straight from fifth grade
to being a freshman in high school.

"Yeah, I was sort of a whiz kid.

Started high school when I was 10."

His eyes are a gorgeous warm blue.

Blue can't be warm.

Blue is a cold color!

You can't make blue warm.

How can you have a warm blue?

I'm gonna google "warm blue."

WARM blue.

Doesn't look warm to me.

"Danny's eyes are warm blue,

and what we mean by that are that

his irises are blue,

but then the white parts of his eyes

are actually RED.
(sizzling sound, rock music)

They're red hot.

They're actually hot to the touch,

and he gets third degree burns
every time he blinks.

It is a serious medical condition

and they are gorgeous.
(ding sound, crowds cheering)

His chest, waist, and hip dimensions,

as well as his dress size,
shoe and biceps,

are all unknown.

This website is kind of making me sound
cool and mysterious.

"Scientists are still trying to figure out

what his chest and waist dimensions are.

Our best scientists are on the case

and they still haven't
been able to figure it out.

And all those dresses he wears?

We can't figure out what size those are."

Gonzalez and his family
live a comfortable life.

He frequently sends pictures of
his home to his admirers.

Have I ever posted a picture
of my house on social media?

Probably like the inside of my house.

Am I frequently sending pictures
of my home to my admirers?

That makes it sound like I'm, like,

taking a picture and printing it out,

putting it in an envelope and like,
sending it to my fans,

it's just a picture of like, my kitchen.

Could be some
pretty tight merch, actually.

Fifty bucks? Anyone?

I'll mail you a picture of my "gar-age"?

Let me tell you that his home is furnished

with some great sofas, lamps,
kitchen equipment, and other items.

First off, I love that the artic--

like, the author of this article has
remained very, like, unbiased

and like, speaking in the third person

until they get to my home
and they're like,

(cheeky music)
"Let me give you the scoop.

I gotta tell you about his house.

Straight from me to you.

He's got some great sofas.
He's got phenomenal lamps.

(crowd cheering)

Look at that shit."

His home has a white
color design throughout.

That's called,

"We're too scared to hang up art
or anything on our walls

cause we-- we're afraid
we don't-- we won't like it,

so all of our walls are bare."

Danny is an actor, writer, and director

according to his IMDB profile.

What?

Do I have an IMDB profile?

Danny Gonzalez IMDB.

Danny Gonzalez is known for
his work on Camp Unplug--

Ohhhh.

Danny Gonzalez: Help Let Me Go.

Is that-- why is that a movie?

Someone put "Help Let Me Go"
on IMDB as a movie?

Who did this?

Don't you have to have, like,
a paid membership on IMDB

to edit stuff like this?

And it's got ratings!

Honestly, really good.
Nine and half stars, goddamn!

Critics are loving it, dude.

I wanna see this movie.

What is the synopsis?

The adventures of a
radioactive dolphin man

and his crime-fighting sidekick.

And they put me as the

writer and director of
this movie. And star.

So I guess that's why,
uh, this article thinks

that I'm a writer, director, and actor.

And I guess I was also a
director in Danny Gonzalez.

Is this like my Youtube--

okay, yeah, it's my just Youtube channel.
Has an IMDB page too.

Okay, cool.

Gonzalez has an incredible voice
and vocal tone as a singer.

Thank you guys, goddamn!

Okay. Alright.

This is the insane part.
Are you ready for this?

This is the part that someone posted
on my subreddit and I was like,

"Holy shit. What the--

What the hell and what the F?"

Relationship status: married or single?

Danny Gonzalez is a gifted
and inquisitive person.

Doesn't have anything to do
with my relationship status.

"You're wondering if Danny's single?

Well, he's actually pretty inquisitive.
(thoughtful piano music)

He's a curious fellow.
Does that answer your question?"

Acoording to sources, he has been in
a relationship with Laura.

They attended the same high school
and frequently interacted.

That's true.

While dating we did interact
pretty frequently, I would say.

There was some
near-constant interaction, actually.

They had been together
for quite some time.

They got married, okay.

Here's the crazy shit, ready?

Laura Gonzalez, according
to some accounts,

DIED on August 30, 2021,

for unexplained reasons.

(echoing) HUH?????

You're just gonna fucking make up
that my wife died?

What the hell?

Who said that?

I wanna know.

This is where it just gets
way too creepy for me.

Like that's weird for them to say.

Yeah, they literally just, like,
made up that my wife died

and were like,

"We can put that in the article.

According to SOME sources.

(whispering) Us. We're the--

it's us. We're the sources.
We made it up.

She died.

For unexplained reasons.

The reasons have been unexplained
because the sources, (us)

have not explained it.

And we won't."

Just so everyone knows,
Laura's fine, alright?

We just went to the Tyler
the Creator concert this week.

So there's us at the
Tyler the Creator concert

That picture is Real.

And my wife is Alive.

Anyways, uh,

I guess those are the two articles
I wanna talk about.

Let's see if there's anything else
here that we wanna look at.

These 2 vegetables will
kill your belly fat,

a teaspoon on an empty
stomach burns 12 pounds of fat,

Lot of fat loss stuff here.

Not sure...

what that's about.

Anyway. Moral of the story:

(rock music)
quit making shit up about me, articles!

Honestly, like...

can I sue them?

I don't know.

Nah, I probably couldn't sue them.

But I could review my legal options.

(rock music begins again)
Articles, quit making shit up about me

or I'm gonna review my
legal options, alright?

In fact, I already am.

In my head, I'm reviewing them right now.

And, uh, it's not looking
good for you guys.

So quit making shit up,

keep my name out of
your goddamn mouth, actually

and, uh,

if you want info about
me, just ask, alright?

I just made a whole ass video where I just

talked about nothing but my life.

So I'm an open book.

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Alright, well, thank you
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Bye.