WEBVTT

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Welcome back to the
second channel, everybody,

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we've got a crazy video today.

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I'm gonna crack open a nice
sparkling water

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(crack, pop, fizz)

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AH!

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FUCK!

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Got on my keyboard, that's very cool.

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I didn't even get the cap off,
by the way,

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it's still on and it's just sprayed out
like that.

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That's very cool.

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Okay.

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Hope I didn't just totally
destroy my keyboard.

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Let me go get a towel real quick.

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(cartoon running sound effect)

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And I'll just toss this over there.

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(wet slapping noise)

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Ah, damn.

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And I'll open the rest of this lid.

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(electronic rave music)

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Alright.

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Alright, today we're gonna
be talking about

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these weird ass articles

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that these companies
write about Youtubers.

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I did a video on my main channel
like, a long time ago

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about these articles, but

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since then I feel like they've gotten
even worse.

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Companies like this, whatever wiki
website this is,

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will try to like, write an article

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with anything that you might
search about someone

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so, "Danny Gonzalez Wife, Age,
Net Worth, Married."

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It's got "wife" and "married"
in the same thing, like,

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"Sure, we know he has a wife,
but are they married?"

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They'll try to like, compile all
of these things into an article,

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that way if you google, like,
"Danny Gonzalez age"

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this comes up.

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But they'll also try to like fill it
with information that, I--

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they don't know.

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Cause they'll just make shit up.

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And what I think has happened
over the years

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is that one article will kind of, like,
overexaggerate how much they know,

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and then another article will take info
from THAT article

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and then they'll fudge a little bit more,

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and it's just this like snowballing effect
to now, like,

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these articles have, just,
shit that is nowhere near true.

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Especially the second article
we're gonna be talking about.

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I've got two articles here,

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one of them someone tweeted at me,

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and then some-- another one was
in the subreddit.

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So thank you guys for sharing these.

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But it is pretty bizarre.

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Really, I'm getting on here
to set the record straight,

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because there's a lot of false
information being spread about me.

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And I guess I gotta correct
the record, alright?

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So this one's on this
website called Wiki.

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Let's take a look.

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Danny Gonzalez was born in
Illinois, USA, on June 12th, 1994.

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That beautiful city Illinois, USA.

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His zodiac sign is Gemini and he holds
American nationality.

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Okay, so far we're doing pretty good.

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Here's where things start
to go a little bit awry.

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Danny was raised an only child--

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(thud sound)
Not true.

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in Illinois by his Mexican parents--

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(thud sound)
Not true.

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I do have a quarter Mexican in me,

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but it's just on my dad's side, so

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I would not call my parents
my "Mexican parents."

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Who were both in the
real estate business--

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I don't know where the
fuck they got that from.

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I don't think I've ever talked
about what my parents do for a living

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in any of my videos.

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So I don't know if they're
just making that up

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or they, like, misinterpreted
something I said one time,

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like my-- if I said like I have--

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my parents own a house?

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And they were like,

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"Oh! So they're in the
real estate business."

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I guess technically true.

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They have one investment property.

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It's where they live.

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At the age of thirteen, he moved
with his family

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to Atlanta, Georgia and
enrolled at a high school there.

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(thud sound)
Not true.

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This is something I've seen before
in other articles,

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so I'm assuming they got it from those,

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but they were wrong and so is this one.

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People who write this article,
if you're watching this,

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listen up, alright?

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I'm gonna te--
I'm gonna set the record straight.

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I did not move to Atlanta in high school.

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I did live in Atlanta.

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But it was for college.

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I lived in Illinois until
I went to college.

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You know what I think it is?

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As much as it upsets me to say this,

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maybe I said in a video years ago
that I live in Atlanta

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and they were like,

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"Okay, this guy looks thirteen,
and he lives in Atlanta.

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So that's when he moved to Georgia."

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But really I was in college
and I just looked thirteen.

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That's like, the only guess I have,
is that they just kind of like,

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mis-aged me,

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and were like, "Yeah, you're thirteen.

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And you go to high school in Atlanta."
(laughs)

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Danny became interested
in social media networks

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while attending high school,

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as most of his friends were active on social networks
such as Vine, Facebook, and Instagram.

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Vine didn't come out
until I was in college, actually.

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These are things that
you could just Google.

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What if I just google,

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How old was Danny in June 2012?

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Guess I should specify that.
Danny Gonzalez.

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I don't--

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Little vain of me to think
that that would come up.

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His birthday was in June of 1994.

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So he was 18 in June of 2012.
He had just graduated high school.

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Not that freakin' hard to figure out.

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He was physically active, as he played
soccer, football,

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and was also a member 
of his high school's drama club.

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This is so freakin'...

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strange.

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Maybe if you search "Danny Gonzalez"

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like, a picture of somebody
playing soccer comes up?

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I did not play soccer in high school.

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I did not play football in high school.

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Not seeing anybody playing soccer.

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This guy looks pretty strong.

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Maybe they saw this,

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thought this was me,

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and were like, "How did he get so strong?"

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Oh wait! Lookit!

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Ohhh shit.

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Do you think they scrolled
down all the way to here,

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saw this picture of a guy
that's clearly not me,

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and thought to themselves,

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"Ohhhh. He played soccer in
high school. Very cool."

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Okay, so, I played soccer and football--

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Honestly, my life sounds way cooler
in this article than it does in real life.

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I was like the new kid in high school
in the big city of Atlanta,

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I was the star of the
football and soccer team.

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Danny matriculated in 2012--

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Okay, so they DO know when I matric--

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They know when I graduated.

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I'm assuming that's
what "matriculated" means.

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To be enrolled at a college or university.

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So what they're saying is,

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"Danny enrolled in 2012, and
then enrolled in Georgia Tech."

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So they know when I started college, then.

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So they know that Vine didn't exist

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if they had just like, taken
one second to think about it.

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Danny launched his career on the Internet
while attending high school

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as his Vine account numbered
more than 2 million followers.

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Dude, the words they use in this
article are kind of impressive though.

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"Matriculated."

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The next sentence says,

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"He launched his eh--

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Ep--

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Eh-PONY-miss Youtube Channel.

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Ee-PONY-miss.

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Eponymous?

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It's got the word "pony" in there.

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"He launched his pony-themed
Youtube channel on September 9th, 2014,

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and has since gathered more
than 4.1 million subscribers.

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Okay, they wrote this
article a little while ago.

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What is epi-- "epinomous" mean?

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It means,

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"Giving their name to something."

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Okay, so it's like my
self-titled Youtube channel.

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Danny's love life, is he married?

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Okay, there's a bunch of
weird shit in here too, I remember.

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Oh yeah.

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Laura is a dancer and photographer,

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whose Instagram account is
followed by over 5,000 people.

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Again, they're making
shit up for Laura, too!

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I don't know where they found, like,
I-- okay,

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she has an Instagram?

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So that makes her a photographer?

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And maybe she--

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No, she's never danced. On anything.

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So I don't know where they got that.

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I like how I said she's NEVER danced.

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(rock music playing)
"She's-- she's NEVER danced.

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Laura doesn't know how to dance, alright?

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She's got two left feet.

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Literally.
(sad piano music)

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She has this weird condition
where both of her feet are left feet.

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She's never danced.

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She is also said to be a model.

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She's not one, but everyone says so.

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Hobbies and interests.

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Alright, before I even read
this part of the article,

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I'm gonna say what, like, my actual
hobbies and interests are,

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and then we will see how
closely it lines up with

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what is in the article.

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Okay?

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Hobbies and interests.

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I like to...

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uh, produce music.

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That's one of my biggest hobbies.

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I like playing guitar.

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Interests?

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I like Star Wars a lot.

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That's like one of my big, like,
movie franchises that I'm into.

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What other hobbies do I have?

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I've got friends that
live in cool locations,

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so I like to go visit friends.

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And, honestly, making videos is
kind of a hobby as well.

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Okay.

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Danny is keen on traveling and
has been to several US states.

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Okay, so I did say that
I like to go visit friends.

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I like that they say
I really like traveling

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because I've been to several US states.
(sparkling sound)

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(wholesome guitar music) 
"Danny has been to more than one state in his life,

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so I guess you could say
he's kind of a world traveler.

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He's explored exotic cultures such as

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Colorado and Wisconsin."

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While he prefers to be in nature
surrounded by trees and animals--

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I feel like that's taking some liberties.

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I'm trying to figure out

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if I've ever posted like, a picture
of me in the middle of the woods

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surrounded by animals like
I'm in Snow White.

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Okay, there's a-- there's a picture
from August of 2020

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of me in a field of sunflowers.

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And there's a picture of me
in an apple orchard with Laura.

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Okay. No, you know what?

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From what I've posted on social media,

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the nature thing makes sense.

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I've got some pictures of
me in natural locations.

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None surrounded by animals.

00:07:15.399 --> 00:07:17.138
I'm trying to think if
I've ever been, like, in a--

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surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves
and like taken a quick picture.

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(wolves howling)
I love it here.

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This rules. I prefer this over
the big city any day.

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He likes to dress up
and attend cosplay events.

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I don't think I've ever
been to a cosplay event

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in my whole life.

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I don't know where they got that from.

00:07:30.224 --> 00:07:33.334
So there's this picture of
me in a grape costume

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that was for, actually it was cause

00:07:35.214 --> 00:07:38.429
we went to a filming, a taping
of, uh, a game show.

00:07:38.429 --> 00:07:39.633
What's it, what was it called...

00:07:39.925 --> 00:07:40.845
Let's Make A Deal.
(ding)

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Um, which Laura was actually on.

00:07:42.386 --> 00:07:44.869
And she actually got to
talk to Wayne Brady.

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So if you can find this episode,

00:07:46.484 --> 00:07:48.702
you can see me and
Laura dressed as grapes.

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And there's the picture of me
dressed as Kuzco for Halloween, so.

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I guess that's where they got
me attending cosplay events?

00:07:55.703 --> 00:07:57.314
"Danny likes to dress up as grapes

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and go to grape cosplaying events.

00:07:58.985 --> 00:08:00.100
You ever heard of Fruit Con?

00:08:00.100 --> 00:08:01.929
Everybody dresses up
as their favorite fruit.

00:08:01.929 --> 00:08:04.550
They have panels where
you can listen to grapefruits

00:08:04.550 --> 00:08:06.954
talk about what it's
like in the industry."

00:08:06.954 --> 00:08:09.302
Danny is a lover of animals
but doesn't have a pet

00:08:09.302 --> 00:08:12.096
because he would lack time
to take proper care of it.

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That's kinda fucked up.

00:08:12.951 --> 00:08:13.584
(whimsical, cheekt music)
"Danny doesn't have a pet

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cause he wouldn't--

00:08:14.218 --> 00:08:15.511
he's la-- he wouldn't take time

00:08:15.511 --> 00:08:16.315
to take care of it.

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So he can't do that."

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I actually do have a pet.

00:08:18.156 --> 00:08:19.261
I have three, so.

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Fuck you.

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And I don't take care of any of them.

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I haven't seen them in WEEKS, so.

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I guess I don't really know
if I have pets anymore, because

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I haven't seen them.

00:08:26.793 --> 00:08:27.986
But I did at one time.

00:08:27.986 --> 00:08:28.656
That's kinda mean.

00:08:28.656 --> 00:08:31.025
I definitely post pictures of
Sundae all the time,

00:08:31.025 --> 00:08:33.387
and when I had Peanut
I posted pictures of her all the time.

00:08:33.387 --> 00:08:35.143
And Laura has two guinea pigs, so.

00:08:35.143 --> 00:08:36.208
Don't know where they're getting that.

00:08:36.208 --> 00:08:37.542
I could have even more pets, dude.

00:08:37.542 --> 00:08:40.250
I'm gonna adopt three more dogs
just to prove them wrong.

00:08:40.250 --> 00:08:41.241
Oh wait, I missed this part.

00:08:41.241 --> 00:08:42.511
He is quite physically active

00:08:42.511 --> 00:08:45.186
and he occasionally plays basketball
and soccer with his friends

00:08:45.186 --> 00:08:48.393
and also has several training
sessions at the gym each week.

00:08:48.393 --> 00:08:49.355
Well, that's kinda nice.

00:08:49.355 --> 00:08:50.183
They think I'm strong?

00:08:50.183 --> 00:08:51.542
I don't play basketball or soccer.

00:08:51.542 --> 00:08:53.330
I do go to the gym sometimes, so.

00:08:53.330 --> 00:08:55.010
Glad it's finally paying off
(rock music plays)

00:08:55.010 --> 00:08:56.874
and wiki dot...

00:08:57.004 --> 00:08:59.481
whatever this website is
is finally taking notice.

00:08:59.481 --> 00:09:00.922
Anyway, that's pretty much
the end of the article.

00:09:00.922 --> 00:09:03.106
They get my favorite
movies totally wrong.

00:09:03.106 --> 00:09:04.496
They say my favorite movies are

00:09:04.496 --> 00:09:06.718
Pulp Fiction, Fight Club,
and The Godfather.

00:09:06.718 --> 00:09:08.281
I've never seen two of those.

00:09:08.281 --> 00:09:11.341
And they say my favorite actors are
Bruce Willis and John Travolta,

00:09:11.341 --> 00:09:12.036
when, to be honest,

00:09:12.036 --> 00:09:13.019
I don't give a shit about them.

00:09:13.019 --> 00:09:16.228
Bruce Willis and John Travolta aren't
even close to my favorite actors, alright?

00:09:16.228 --> 00:09:18.378
Actually I don't even think
I have a favorite actor, but

00:09:18.378 --> 00:09:19.922
it's ANYONE but these two.
(kids saying "ew" sound)

00:09:19.922 --> 00:09:20.775
That was the first article.

00:09:20.775 --> 00:09:22.632
This one is INSANE.

00:09:22.632 --> 00:09:24.240
I actually haven't read
any of this article

00:09:24.240 --> 00:09:25.485
except for just the one snippet

00:09:25.485 --> 00:09:26.737
that somebody posted in my subreddit.

00:09:26.737 --> 00:09:28.796
So I only know that
that one part is insane.

00:09:28.796 --> 00:09:30.938
So maybe the rest of
it is perfectly normal

00:09:30.938 --> 00:09:33.172
and then there's just
one huge glaring issue.

00:09:33.172 --> 00:09:33.939
We will find out.

00:09:33.939 --> 00:09:34.637
This website is called

00:09:34.637 --> 00:09:35.889
Hollywood ZAM.

00:09:35.889 --> 00:09:37.678
Hollywood zam, zaddy.

00:09:37.678 --> 00:09:39.513
Danny Gonzalez is an internet celebrity

00:09:39.513 --> 00:09:41.140
and actor from Wheaton, Illinois.

00:09:41.140 --> 00:09:42.622
Ooh, they put actor in there, that's cool.

00:09:42.622 --> 00:09:44.876
These articles really do make
my life sound cooler than it is.

00:09:44.876 --> 00:09:47.504
I'm playing basketball and soccer
all the time,

00:09:47.504 --> 00:09:48.720
I'm an Actor.

00:09:48.720 --> 00:09:50.882
I'm a Youtuber, musician, Twitch streamer,

00:09:50.882 --> 00:09:51.934
media face--

00:09:51.934 --> 00:09:53.045
What is "media face?"

00:09:53.045 --> 00:09:56.013
It sounds like another word for like,
spokesperson or something.

00:09:56.013 --> 00:09:57.799
I'm the media face for...

00:09:58.722 --> 00:09:59.018
uh,

00:09:59.677 --> 00:10:00.321
I don't know.

00:10:01.213 --> 00:10:01.719
Kohl's.

00:10:01.719 --> 00:10:04.460
And they just put my face
on all of the media that they have.

00:10:04.460 --> 00:10:05.495
Every commercial is just

00:10:05.495 --> 00:10:06.545
my face.
(woman voiceover) Kohl's cash!

00:10:06.545 --> 00:10:07.630
He is well known throughout the country

00:10:07.630 --> 00:10:09.043
for his outstanding Youtube videos.

00:10:09.043 --> 00:10:09.614
Thank you!

00:10:09.614 --> 00:10:12.976
Danny was born in Wheaton, Illinois
in the United States.

00:10:12.976 --> 00:10:15.279
He has claimed to be 
residing in the United States.

00:10:15.279 --> 00:10:17.871
Danny will be 27 years old in 2021.

00:10:17.871 --> 00:10:19.124
This is all good so far.

00:10:19.124 --> 00:10:20.758
After finishing elementary school

00:10:20.758 --> 00:10:22.502
he went to Wheaton North High School.

00:10:22.502 --> 00:10:24.045
I did go to middle school
in between there,

00:10:24.045 --> 00:10:25.417
but thanks for assuming, I guess,

00:10:25.417 --> 00:10:26.792
that I skipped three years

00:10:26.792 --> 00:10:29.321
and went straight from fifth grade
to being a freshman in high school.

00:10:29.321 --> 00:10:30.764
"Yeah, I was sort of a whiz kid.

00:10:30.764 --> 00:10:32.326
Started high school when I was 10."

00:10:32.326 --> 00:10:34.671
His eyes are a gorgeous warm blue.

00:10:34.671 --> 00:10:35.645
Blue can't be warm.

00:10:35.645 --> 00:10:36.961
Blue is a cold color!

00:10:36.961 --> 00:10:38.127
You can't make blue warm.

00:10:38.127 --> 00:10:39.452
How can you have a warm blue?

00:10:39.452 --> 00:10:40.608
I'm gonna google "warm blue."

00:10:40.608 --> 00:10:41.722
WARM blue.

00:10:41.722 --> 00:10:42.834
Doesn't look warm to me.

00:10:42.834 --> 00:10:44.202
"Danny's eyes are warm blue,

00:10:44.202 --> 00:10:45.570
and what we mean by that are that

00:10:45.570 --> 00:10:47.279
his irises are blue,

00:10:47.279 --> 00:10:48.862
but then the white parts of his eyes

00:10:48.862 --> 00:10:50.122
are actually RED.
(sizzling sound, rock music)

00:10:50.122 --> 00:10:50.914
They're red hot.

00:10:50.914 --> 00:10:52.192
They're actually hot to the touch,

00:10:52.192 --> 00:10:54.451
and he gets third degree burns
every time he blinks.

00:10:54.451 --> 00:10:55.911
It is a serious medical condition

00:10:55.911 --> 00:10:57.268
and they are gorgeous.
(ding sound, crowds cheering)

00:10:57.268 --> 00:10:59.845
His chest, waist, and hip dimensions,

00:10:59.845 --> 00:11:03.020
as well as his dress size,
shoe and biceps,

00:11:03.020 --> 00:11:04.362
are all unknown.

00:11:04.362 --> 00:11:07.251
This website is kind of making me sound
cool and mysterious.

00:11:07.251 --> 00:11:09.289
"Scientists are still trying to figure out

00:11:09.289 --> 00:11:11.817
what his chest and waist dimensions are.

00:11:11.817 --> 00:11:13.597
Our best scientists are on the case

00:11:13.597 --> 00:11:15.398
and they still haven't
been able to figure it out.

00:11:15.398 --> 00:11:16.820
And all those dresses he wears?

00:11:16.820 --> 00:11:18.438
We can't figure out what size those are."

00:11:18.438 --> 00:11:20.761
Gonzalez and his family
live a comfortable life.

00:11:20.761 --> 00:11:23.705
He frequently sends pictures of
his home to his admirers.

00:11:23.705 --> 00:11:26.163
Have I ever posted a picture
of my house on social media?

00:11:26.163 --> 00:11:27.651
Probably like the inside of my house.

00:11:27.651 --> 00:11:31.751
Am I frequently sending pictures
of my home to my admirers?

00:11:31.751 --> 00:11:33.088
That makes it sound like I'm, like,

00:11:33.088 --> 00:11:34.822
taking a picture and printing it out,

00:11:34.822 --> 00:11:37.566
putting it in an envelope and like,
sending it to my fans,

00:11:37.566 --> 00:11:39.083
it's just a picture of like, my kitchen.

00:11:39.083 --> 00:11:40.808
Could be some
pretty tight merch, actually.

00:11:40.808 --> 00:11:42.550
Fifty bucks? Anyone?

00:11:42.550 --> 00:11:44.857
I'll mail you a picture of my "gar-age"?

00:11:44.857 --> 00:11:46.841
Let me tell you that his home is furnished

00:11:46.841 --> 00:11:50.860
with some great sofas, lamps,
kitchen equipment, and other items.

00:11:50.860 --> 00:11:52.578
First off, I love that the artic--

00:11:52.578 --> 00:11:55.851
like, the author of this article has
remained very, like, unbiased

00:11:55.851 --> 00:11:57.518
and like, speaking in the third person

00:11:57.518 --> 00:11:59.230
until they get to my home
and they're like,

00:11:59.230 --> 00:12:00.610
(cheeky music)
"Let me give you the scoop.

00:12:00.610 --> 00:12:02.146
I gotta tell you about his house.

00:12:02.146 --> 00:12:03.316
Straight from me to you.

00:12:03.316 --> 00:12:06.585
He's got some great sofas.
He's got phenomenal lamps.

00:12:07.585 --> 00:12:09.194
(crowd cheering)

00:12:09.194 --> 00:12:09.986
Look at that shit."

00:12:09.986 --> 00:12:11.803
His home has a white
color design throughout.

00:12:11.803 --> 00:12:12.586
That's called,

00:12:12.586 --> 00:12:15.260
"We're too scared to hang up art
or anything on our walls

00:12:15.260 --> 00:12:17.411
cause we-- we're afraid
we don't-- we won't like it,

00:12:17.411 --> 00:12:18.685
so all of our walls are bare."

00:12:18.685 --> 00:12:21.596
Danny is an actor, writer, and director

00:12:21.596 --> 00:12:23.823
according to his IMDB profile.

00:12:23.823 --> 00:12:24.431
What?

00:12:24.431 --> 00:12:25.853
Do I have an IMDB profile?

00:12:25.853 --> 00:12:29.124
Danny Gonzalez IMDB.

00:12:29.124 --> 00:12:32.488
Danny Gonzalez is known for
his work on Camp Unplug--

00:12:32.488 --> 00:12:33.683
Ohhhh.

00:12:33.683 --> 00:12:35.340
Danny Gonzalez: Help Let Me Go.

00:12:35.340 --> 00:12:36.730
Is that-- why is that a movie?

00:12:36.730 --> 00:12:39.784
Someone put "Help Let Me Go"
on IMDB as a movie?

00:12:39.784 --> 00:12:40.453
Who did this?

00:12:40.453 --> 00:12:42.739
Don't you have to have, like,
a paid membership on IMDB

00:12:42.739 --> 00:12:44.132
to edit stuff like this?

00:12:44.132 --> 00:12:45.236
And it's got ratings!

00:12:45.236 --> 00:12:47.983
Honestly, really good.
Nine and half stars, goddamn!

00:12:47.983 --> 00:12:49.234
Critics are loving it, dude.

00:12:49.234 --> 00:12:50.320
I wanna see this movie.

00:12:50.320 --> 00:12:51.431
What is the synopsis?

00:12:51.431 --> 00:12:53.579
The adventures of a
radioactive dolphin man

00:12:53.579 --> 00:12:55.326
and his crime-fighting sidekick.

00:12:55.326 --> 00:12:56.576
And they put me as the

00:12:56.576 --> 00:13:00.011
writer and director of
this movie. And star.

00:13:00.011 --> 00:13:02.169
So I guess that's why,
uh, this article thinks

00:13:02.169 --> 00:13:04.219
that I'm a writer, director, and actor.

00:13:04.219 --> 00:13:07.512
And I guess I was also a
director in Danny Gonzalez.

00:13:07.512 --> 00:13:08.774
Is this like my Youtube--

00:13:08.774 --> 00:13:11.498
okay, yeah, it's my just Youtube channel.
Has an IMDB page too.

00:13:11.498 --> 00:13:12.154
Okay, cool.

00:13:12.154 --> 00:13:15.800
Gonzalez has an incredible voice
and vocal tone as a singer.

00:13:15.800 --> 00:13:17.418
Thank you guys, goddamn!

00:13:17.418 --> 00:13:18.224
Okay. Alright.

00:13:18.224 --> 00:13:20.109
This is the insane part.
Are you ready for this?

00:13:20.109 --> 00:13:23.258
This is the part that someone posted
on my subreddit and I was like,

00:13:23.258 --> 00:13:24.745
"Holy shit. What the--

00:13:24.883 --> 00:13:26.540
What the hell and what the F?"

00:13:26.540 --> 00:13:28.401
Relationship status: married or single?

00:13:28.401 --> 00:13:30.853
Danny Gonzalez is a gifted
and inquisitive person.

00:13:30.853 --> 00:13:33.488
Doesn't have anything to do
with my relationship status.

00:13:33.488 --> 00:13:34.682
"You're wondering if Danny's single?

00:13:34.682 --> 00:13:36.512
Well, he's actually pretty inquisitive.
(thoughtful piano music)

00:13:36.512 --> 00:13:38.798
He's a curious fellow. 
Does that answer your question?"

00:13:38.798 --> 00:13:41.298
Acoording to sources, he has been in
a relationship with Laura.

00:13:41.298 --> 00:13:44.639
They attended the same high school
and frequently interacted.

00:13:44.639 --> 00:13:45.277
That's true.

00:13:45.277 --> 00:13:48.302
While dating we did interact
pretty frequently, I would say.

00:13:48.302 --> 00:13:50.984
There was some
near-constant interaction, actually.

00:13:50.984 --> 00:13:52.595
They had been together
for quite some time.

00:13:52.595 --> 00:13:53.627
They got married, okay.

00:13:53.627 --> 00:13:55.105
Here's the crazy shit, ready?

00:13:55.105 --> 00:13:57.814
Laura Gonzalez, according
to some accounts,

00:13:57.814 --> 00:14:00.648
DIED on August 30, 2021,

00:14:00.648 --> 00:14:02.046
for unexplained reasons.

00:14:02.046 --> 00:14:02.927
(echoing) HUH?????

00:14:02.927 --> 00:14:05.215
You're just gonna fucking make up
that my wife died?

00:14:05.215 --> 00:14:06.070
What the hell?

00:14:06.070 --> 00:14:07.254
Who said that?

00:14:07.254 --> 00:14:07.985
I wanna know.

00:14:07.985 --> 00:14:10.396
This is where it just gets
way too creepy for me.

00:14:10.396 --> 00:14:12.413
Like that's weird for them to say.

00:14:12.413 --> 00:14:14.975
Yeah, they literally just, like,
made up that my wife died

00:14:14.975 --> 00:14:15.343
and were like,

00:14:15.343 --> 00:14:16.266
"We can put that in the article.

00:14:16.266 --> 00:14:17.861
According to SOME sources.

00:14:17.861 --> 00:14:19.260
(whispering) Us. We're the--

00:14:19.260 --> 00:14:21.187
it's us. We're the sources.
We made it up.

00:14:21.187 --> 00:14:21.759
She died.

00:14:21.759 --> 00:14:22.714
For unexplained reasons.

00:14:22.714 --> 00:14:25.581
The reasons have been unexplained
because the sources, (us)

00:14:25.581 --> 00:14:26.513
have not explained it.

00:14:26.513 --> 00:14:26.993
And we won't."

00:14:26.993 --> 00:14:29.046
Just so everyone knows,
Laura's fine, alright?

00:14:29.046 --> 00:14:31.267
We just went to the Tyler
the Creator concert this week.

00:14:31.267 --> 00:14:33.107
So there's us at the
Tyler the Creator concert

00:14:33.107 --> 00:14:34.467
That picture is Real.

00:14:34.467 --> 00:14:36.083
And my wife is Alive.

00:14:36.083 --> 00:14:37.050
Anyways, uh,

00:14:37.050 --> 00:14:38.842
I guess those are the two articles
I wanna talk about.

00:14:38.842 --> 00:14:40.828
Let's see if there's anything else
here that we wanna look at.

00:14:40.828 --> 00:14:43.330
These 2 vegetables will
kill your belly fat,

00:14:43.330 --> 00:14:46.733
a teaspoon on an empty
stomach burns 12 pounds of fat,

00:14:46.733 --> 00:14:48.384
Lot of fat loss stuff here.

00:14:48.384 --> 00:14:49.322
Not sure...

00:14:50.081 --> 00:14:51.265
what that's about.

00:14:51.265 --> 00:14:52.809
Anyway. Moral of the story:

00:14:52.809 --> 00:14:55.613
(rock music)
quit making shit up about me, articles!

00:14:55.613 --> 00:14:56.583
Honestly, like...

00:14:58.350 --> 00:14:59.083
can I sue them?

00:14:59.294 --> 00:14:59.951
I don't know.

00:14:59.951 --> 00:15:00.967
Nah, I probably couldn't sue them.

00:15:00.967 --> 00:15:02.632
But I could review my legal options.

00:15:02.632 --> 00:15:04.672
(rock music begins again)
Articles, quit making shit up about me

00:15:04.672 --> 00:15:06.660
or I'm gonna review my
legal options, alright?

00:15:06.660 --> 00:15:07.718
In fact, I already am.

00:15:07.718 --> 00:15:09.324
In my head, I'm reviewing them right now.

00:15:09.324 --> 00:15:11.888
And, uh, it's not looking
good for you guys.

00:15:11.888 --> 00:15:12.821
So quit making shit up,

00:15:12.821 --> 00:15:15.080
keep my name out of
your goddamn mouth, actually

00:15:15.080 --> 00:15:16.181
and, uh,

00:15:16.181 --> 00:15:19.071
if you want info about
me, just ask, alright?

00:15:19.071 --> 00:15:20.952
I just made a whole ass video where I just

00:15:20.952 --> 00:15:22.296
talked about nothing but my life.

00:15:22.296 --> 00:15:23.555
So I'm an open book.

00:15:23.555 --> 00:15:26.301
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00:16:25.872 --> 00:16:27.000
Bye.