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HOW TO BE A YOUTUBE COMMENTER

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    (Anthony) Whoa! The Like button makes
    a sound when you click it!
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    (Ian) SHUT UP!
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    MOLESTER!
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    I really want to tell these
    two idiots that they're homos,
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    but I don't know how to use
    this complicated internet page!
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    Oh, what's that?
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    Whoaaa, where?!
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    Oh, there's my legs!
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    Hi, I'm Bob Roberts!
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    Have you ever wanted to leave
    a comment on a YouTube video?
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    Absolutely, guy on the computer!
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    Well, I've perused through
    a dozen YouTube comments
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    and learned the best way to leave
    feedback on a YouTubes video.
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    Come along and I'll show ya.
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    Wheeeee!
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    First rule of leaving
    a successful YouTube comment
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    is to always spell everything wrong
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    and write in all capital letters!
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    Sure thing, guy on the computer!
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    I'm gonna go find them
    and tell them right now!
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    (knocking)
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    I've got a comment for you two hippies!
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    (Ian) Our "veedos" suck
    and we're 12 year old "homooz"?
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    And if you're first to comment on a video,
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    always be sure to scream out:
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    FIRST!
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    Wait, what?!
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    Even if you're not the first,
    you're close enough!
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    Or, you can just call them:
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    GAAAAAY!
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    (chuckles)
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    Whoooo! I'm a ghost!
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    Just kidding, I'm real!
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    Rule number two:
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    Always make sure you start arguments
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    with people in the comments section!
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    But make sure you know
    absolutely flipping nothing
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    about the subject you're arguing.
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    I don't like Obama because other people
    said they don't like Obama
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    And I don't have the patience
    to do my own research
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    or form my own opinions on Obama!
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    Get out of my office, old man!
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    This is where I do the YouTubes!
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    Ewww!
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    If that's not workin',
    find a triangle in the video and say:
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    ILLUMINATI!
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    (gasps)
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    -Yeeeeeeaaah!
    -(ninja screams)
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    Rule number three:
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    Always leave constructive criticism
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    so the creator can become
    a better YouTuber!
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    What the sh*t?!
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    Maybe next time you could try
    doing the video a little better by--
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    Yeah, I'm just messing around.
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    Call them a--
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    GAYWAD!
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    That's some great f*cking advice!
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    Rule number four:
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    If you come across a new video,
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    always question how
    you're the 301st viewer!
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    No, don't put it in the barrel's ass!
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    But, seriously, how can there be
    20,000 likes and only 301 views?!
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    It makes no sense!
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    Hacker alert!
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    Scammer alert!
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    Swedish alert!
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    If you don't have anything
    real to comment,
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    make sure you copy/paste
    a really sad story
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    you found online to get lots of likes!
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    This is mine and my wife's song.
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    She was 23, I was 18.
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    I hate it.
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    It had to end when she
    died in a car crash.
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    I loved her so much, but she cheated
    and I couldn't live with that!
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    Like this if you cry every time!
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    (whimpering)
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    (still whimpering)
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    (whimper whimper)
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    Like this if you cry every--
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    SHUT THE F*CK UP, GRANDPA BRO!!
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    Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. Cuckoo!
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    Rule number five:
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    If a video has a girl in it,
    be sure to be as sexist
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    and terrible and disgusting as possible!
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    Why? Because...
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    I don't know, everybody
    else does it online!
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    Gross!
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    You look like a whore!
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    What the f*ck you just say?!
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    And don't forget--you're anonymous,
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    so forget the fact
    that they have feelings
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    and say something
    incredibly rude about them!
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    You're getting super obese
    and I hate your stupid voice!
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    Tits or GTFO!
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    Don't make me cut you!
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    Bitch got shank!
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    (mimicking robot)
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    If you leave a comment that gets
    a lot of negative feedback,
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    you could always tell people:
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    Umm, my little sister hacked
    my account and left that comment!
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    [bleep]!
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    (groaning in pain)
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    And if that doesn't work,
    you could always finish it off
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    with a classic:
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    (weakly) Gaaaay.
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    Whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp.
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    So there you have it, folks!
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    Follow my simple steps
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    and you'll be a professional Youtube
    commentator in no time!
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    Until next time, I'm Bob Roberts,
    wishin' you a fine afternoon!
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    Whaaaaaah!
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    (imitates a rocket)
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    I think I'm havin' a stroke!
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    THANK U 4
    WATCHING!
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    PLZ LICK COMENT
    & SUBSKRIB!
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    (groaning)
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    First to view a dying old man!
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    Your shirt sucks! Dislike!
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    Your old videos were better
    when you weren't such a fat whale!
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    Tits or GTFO!
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    Like this if you cry every time...
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    UNSUBSCRIBED!
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    (both giggle)
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    High five!
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    (Ian) To see behind-the-scenes footage
    and bloopers from this episode,
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    click the moving picture on the left!
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    Today, Pewwwwdiepie's
    gonna be playin' some
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    Ostrich Killing Banana Beada Ba.
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    (Swedish expletive)
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    (laughing)
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    If you wanna see an Honest Trailer
    for Grand Theft Auto 5,
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    whatever the hell that is,
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    click that little video thingie on the right!
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    (Narrator) Enter a game world
    that is so bloated
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    with extra features,
    you won't bother to play
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    half of what it has to offer!
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    Yoga, seriously?
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    (Ian) My grandson said if you
    have more subscribers,
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    it makes you cooler!
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    So clickie that little subscribe
    thingamajigger.
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    I'm gonna go to the hospital.
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    I'm pretty sure this
    is a full-blown stroke.
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    I am full-blown stroking right now.
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    Byeee!
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    [visit www.facebook.com/subtitleyoutube
    to see other videos or to make a request]
Title:
HOW TO BE A YOUTUBE COMMENTER
Description:
more » « less
Video Language:
English
Duration:
06:12

English subtitles

Revisions

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