(Anthony) Whoa! The Like button makes a sound when you click it!
(Ian) SHUT UP!
MOLESTER!
I really want to tell these two idiots that they're homos,
but I don't know how to use this complicated internet page!
Oh, what's that?
Whoaaa, where?!
Oh, there's my legs!
Hi, I'm Bob Roberts!
Have you ever wanted to leave a comment on a YouTube video?
Absolutely, guy on the computer!
Well, I've perused through a dozen YouTube comments
and learned the best way to leave feedback on a YouTubes video.
Come along and I'll show ya.
Wheeeee!
First rule of leaving a successful YouTube comment
is to always spell everything wrong
and write in all capital letters!
Sure thing, guy on the computer!
I'm gonna go find them and tell them right now!
(knocking)
I've got a comment for you two hippies!
(Ian) Our "veedos" suck and we're 12 year old "homooz"?
And if you're first to comment on a video,
always be sure to scream out:
FIRST!
Wait, what?!
Even if you're not the first, you're close enough!
Or, you can just call them:
GAAAAAY!
(chuckles)
Whoooo! I'm a ghost!
Just kidding, I'm real!
Rule number two:
Always make sure you start arguments
with people in the comments section!
But make sure you know absolutely flipping nothing
about the subject you're arguing.
I don't like Obama because other people said they don't like Obama
And I don't have the patience to do my own research
or form my own opinions on Obama!
Get out of my office, old man!
This is where I do the YouTubes!
Ewww!
If that's not workin', find a triangle in the video and say:
ILLUMINATI!
(gasps)
-Yeeeeeeaaah! -(ninja screams)
Rule number three:
Always leave constructive criticism
so the creator can become a better YouTuber!
What the sh*t?!
Maybe next time you could try doing the video a little better by--
Yeah, I'm just messing around.
Call them a--
GAYWAD!
That's some great f*cking advice!
Rule number four:
If you come across a new video,
always question how you're the 301st viewer!
No, don't put it in the barrel's ass!
But, seriously, how can there be 20,000 likes and only 301 views?!
It makes no sense!
Hacker alert!
Scammer alert!
Swedish alert!
If you don't have anything real to comment,
make sure you copy/paste a really sad story
you found online to get lots of likes!
This is mine and my wife's song.
She was 23, I was 18.
I hate it.
It had to end when she died in a car crash.
I loved her so much, but she cheated and I couldn't live with that!
Like this if you cry every time!
(whimpering)
(still whimpering)
(whimper whimper)
Like this if you cry every--
SHUT THE F*CK UP, GRANDPA BRO!!
Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. Cuckoo!
Rule number five:
If a video has a girl in it, be sure to be as sexist
and terrible and disgusting as possible!
Why? Because...
I don't know, everybody else does it online!
Gross!
You look like a whore!
What the f*ck you just say?!
And don't forget--you're anonymous,
so forget the fact that they have feelings
and say something incredibly rude about them!
You're getting super obese and I hate your stupid voice!
Tits or GTFO!
Don't make me cut you!
Bitch got shank!
(mimicking robot)
If you leave a comment that gets a lot of negative feedback,
you could always tell people:
Umm, my little sister hacked my account and left that comment!
[bleep]!
(groaning in pain)
And if that doesn't work, you could always finish it off
with a classic:
(weakly) Gaaaay.
Whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp.
So there you have it, folks!
Follow my simple steps
and you'll be a professional Youtube commentator in no time!
Until next time, I'm Bob Roberts, wishin' you a fine afternoon!
Whaaaaaah!
(imitates a rocket)
I think I'm havin' a stroke!
THANK U 4 WATCHING!
PLZ LICK COMENT & SUBSKRIB!
(groaning)
First to view a dying old man!
Your shirt sucks! Dislike!
Your old videos were better when you weren't such a fat whale!
Tits or GTFO!
Like this if you cry every time...
UNSUBSCRIBED!
(both giggle)
High five!
(Ian) To see behind-the-scenes footage and bloopers from this episode,
click the moving picture on the left!
Today, Pewwwwdiepie's gonna be playin' some
Ostrich Killing Banana Beada Ba.
(Swedish expletive)
(laughing)
If you wanna see an Honest Trailer for Grand Theft Auto 5,
whatever the hell that is,
click that little video thingie on the right!
(Narrator) Enter a game world that is so bloated
with extra features, you won't bother to play
half of what it has to offer!
Yoga, seriously?
(Ian) My grandson said if you have more subscribers,
it makes you cooler!
So clickie that little subscribe thingamajigger.
I'm gonna go to the hospital.
I'm pretty sure this is a full-blown stroke.
I am full-blown stroking right now.
Byeee!
[visit www.facebook.com/subtitleyoutube to see other videos or to make a request]