Never give up! I Federica Lisi I TEDxMantova
-
0:11 - 0:15Nobody kills me anymore,
I will live in a hundred years. -
0:16 - 0:19I don't know why I say so
and why I think so, -
0:19 - 0:23perhaps to declare war on fate
after it went to war with me. -
0:24 - 0:27Or maybe I just talk to myself,
my children and Bobo: -
0:27 - 0:30now that you're gone,
I'll be there forever. -
0:31 - 0:37I read these sentences in a book,
and I suddenly realize -
0:37 - 0:40that "Nobody kills me anymore"
is what I'm saying. -
0:42 - 0:44It's my book, and it's my life.
-
0:45 - 0:47What's going on?
-
0:47 - 0:53That everything changed in a second.
-
0:53 - 0:55March 24, 2012:
-
0:56 - 1:01you go out, finally a night out
one can never do, -
1:01 - 1:04you go to dance with your friends,
-
1:04 - 1:07you greet at lunch your husband
who goes to play, -
1:07 - 1:13after a career made of two Olympics
and many other championships. -
1:13 - 1:15I'll see you tonight!
-
1:15 - 1:21You leave four children at home:
Alessandro, seven; Arianna, three; -
1:21 - 1:24and two twins aged one,
Angelica and Aurora. -
1:25 - 1:27And while you're on this quiet,
peaceful evening, -
1:28 - 1:30you get a call.
-
1:30 - 1:33And somebody told me, Bobo felt bad.
-
1:34 - 1:35So you take the car,
-
1:35 - 1:38you make this absurd journey to Macerata,
-
1:38 - 1:41because he was playing there.
-
1:42 - 1:46And you hear, it was like a movie.
-
1:47 - 1:53You see the team outside,
the long ER aisle, -
1:53 - 1:55and two doctors are only waiting for me.
-
1:55 - 1:58Because then at the end of the day,
the whole world knew, but me. -
1:59 - 2:02I was always inside this glass bell -
-
2:02 - 2:04because he had always put me
inside the bell, -
2:04 - 2:07because he was the head of the family.
-
2:07 - 2:09So that's okay, and you accept.
-
2:09 - 2:12Because then in life
one accepts roles as well. -
2:14 - 2:17And from there they tell you, he's gone.
-
2:18 - 2:19And I got up,
-
2:19 - 2:23something came to me I can hardly explain,
-
2:23 - 2:26these are all inner emotions.
-
2:27 - 2:28There was a fire inside me:
-
2:29 - 2:33it was like, Federica had gone,
and the next moment Federica was reborn. -
2:33 - 2:36Because it's fair to admit
that Federica was reborn. -
2:37 - 2:40So I get up, go home,
-
2:41 - 2:45and take my four little angels -
-
2:45 - 2:48that we had through many hardships,
-
2:48 - 2:52that we managed to get through hardships,
-
2:52 - 2:56because, when we were young,
were told that we couldn't have children. -
2:57 - 3:01And the very phrase "you can't"
does not belong to me at all. -
3:01 - 3:04If you say "I can't", I do everything
-
3:04 - 3:08because that is my goal,
I have to go there, one way or the other. -
3:08 - 3:12So we raised our hands
and we asked for help, -
3:12 - 3:14and thanks to assisted fertilization
-
3:14 - 3:19Bobo and I had our four little angels.
-
3:19 - 3:23So you take them,
you put them next to you, -
3:23 - 3:30and I felt like transmitting "upliftingly"
that negative thing that occurred us -
3:30 - 3:32"Uplifting" may be too much,
-
3:32 - 3:36but in a different way
than what had actually happened. -
3:36 - 3:43Like, you have a pain, but you process it,
you put it in the right part, maybe. -
3:43 - 3:45Where it should be,
because one must look forward, -
3:45 - 3:46he was gone.
-
3:46 - 3:48One can't do anything about the past.
-
3:49 - 3:53No way, all you have to do is deal with it.
-
3:53 - 3:56And I got everyone,
and I told them, it was so cool! -
3:57 - 4:02Dad went to play for the best team ever,
-
4:02 - 4:04it's the team from heaven.
-
4:05 - 4:08And so, that's where my game starts.
-
4:09 - 4:13I started playing when I was nine.
-
4:14 - 4:17And I played volleyball, then.
-
4:17 - 4:21A sport where you are
in such a small space, -
4:21 - 4:23but you are many, because you are six.
-
4:23 - 4:27So start along this path
-
4:27 - 4:31that you have to trust
the people next to you. -
4:31 - 4:34You have to go and give your best,
-
4:34 - 4:39because at the end of the game
you can either win or lose, -
4:39 - 4:41but you must leave the field
-
4:41 - 4:44[feeling that] with the sweaty jersey
you can finally make it. -
4:44 - 4:46And from there that book,
-
4:47 - 4:49those book sentences I started with:
-
4:49 - 4:53"I'll never get killed again" chapter
was over, and I opened another one. -
4:54 - 4:57And it was my book, with my children,
-
4:57 - 5:01and with all the people I would then meet
-
5:01 - 5:03and surely I would take my hand.
-
5:04 - 5:08Because then, even the help is not -
-
5:08 - 5:13I don't mind asking for help,
I don't see it as a sign of weakness, -
5:13 - 5:16but perhaps it was my greatest strength.
-
5:17 - 5:18Raising my hand and say,
-
5:18 - 5:21I can't do this right now alone.
-
5:21 - 5:24And then something happens
-
5:24 - 5:28at the right time inside right person,
-
5:28 - 5:32because on March 24th Bobo leaves,
-
5:32 - 5:37and I go to make a checkup
at the gynecologist - -
5:39 - 5:42remember, we could not have children.
-
5:43 - 5:48And in that ecography,
the doctor says there's a life in me. -
5:50 - 5:55You look at the sky and say,
"Maybe there's something I should do? -
5:55 - 5:57Yeah, maybe I have to do something.
-
5:57 - 5:58Because there was a link -
-
5:58 - 6:01too many rings had chained themselves.
-
6:02 - 6:06Bobo was a famous player;
you can't have kids, you have four. -
6:06 - 6:08He's gone while playing,
-
6:08 - 6:11and I don't feel like the only one
-
6:11 - 6:14who lost her husband
and got floored by pain. -
6:14 - 6:18But my voice, perhaps,
is a choir of voices. -
6:18 - 6:23But I'm here and I can talk
because those rings brought me here. -
6:24 - 6:27And the ring was Andrea, my fifth son.
-
6:27 - 6:31So there was an afterward,
-
6:31 - 6:36and a realization
that I had to do something. -
6:36 - 6:38And you start organizing.
-
6:38 - 6:41You start organizing events,
you start organizing parties, -
6:41 - 6:47you start organizing everything
that is life and is not death. -
6:47 - 6:52Because, in the end,
life and death intertwine -
6:52 - 6:54and life and death unite us.
-
6:54 - 6:57There's no one famous or famous -
-
6:57 - 7:01yes, you can discover anything,
-
7:03 - 7:05you can do anything,
-
7:05 - 7:07but in the end we're all in the same boat.
-
7:07 - 7:12In the end, we're all here
looking at each other, having a heart -
7:12 - 7:15and having so many emotions.
-
7:15 - 7:19I began to follow these emotions,
-
7:19 - 7:22I began to listen to my heart.
-
7:22 - 7:28And during all these events,
all this great going around, -
7:30 - 7:33you start to share your story
-
7:33 - 7:36with the people in front of you.
-
7:36 - 7:40And many times, when I was driving -
I went to schools, -
7:40 - 7:46I shared my experience
with a lot with people, -
7:46 - 7:48you realize you're in the car and you say:
-
7:49 - 7:52yes, it happened to me,
it happened to him too early - -
7:52 - 7:56because at 37 it was a bit too early.
-
7:56 - 8:02With five kids at home,
really anti-nature. -
8:02 - 8:04But instead, then you realize
-
8:04 - 8:11that there are so many
dreadful stories around you. -
8:11 - 8:14How did they come? I don't know, really.
-
8:15 - 8:17But one thing depends on us.
-
8:17 - 8:22It's how we do the path life to death.
-
8:23 - 8:26Because we all have our own path to take.
-
8:27 - 8:29And so many times things happen
-
8:29 - 8:31that we raise our hands to
and we can't help ourselves. -
8:32 - 8:36But how we lead out lives,
-
8:36 - 8:38that does depend on us.
-
8:38 - 8:42So you hold an event,
-
8:42 - 8:45and you meet Red Ronnie,
-
8:45 - 8:48that you maybe saw on television,
-
8:48 - 8:50with all his music broadcasts -
-
8:50 - 8:53I'm an absolute fan, of music,
-
8:53 - 8:56and a fan of Italian music.
-
8:56 - 9:00Because when I hear the songs
I have to understand what they say, -
9:00 - 9:04I can't bear it otherwise.
-
9:04 - 9:08So you immerse yourself in the notes,
you immerse yourself in the words. -
9:08 - 9:15There were some singer-songwriters
who had really gotten into me, -
9:15 - 9:18and it wasn't air but it was just oxygen.
-
9:18 - 9:22Including a singer-songwriter
named Pia Tuccitto. -
9:22 - 9:25So, when Red Ronnie invites me to her show
-
9:25 - 9:31and tells me that Pia is there,
then I said: great, I'm going. -
9:31 - 9:37And this meeting was made of looks,
-
9:37 - 9:39it was made of listening
-
9:39 - 9:42because she presented a single of her own,
-
9:42 - 9:46I was talking about my story,
and about my event, -
9:46 - 9:48and from there - here's the ring
-
9:48 - 9:54perhaps these two women were meant -
-
9:54 - 9:58with a totally different life,
-
9:59 - 10:02because then Federica sportswoman
-
10:04 - 10:07who decided to stop very soon to play,
-
10:07 - 10:10at 26 years maybe I was
at the height of my career, -
10:10 - 10:15and I decided to throw myself
into this creation of the family, -
10:15 - 10:17and therefore this maternal instinct,
-
10:17 - 10:21to a person who always and anyway
followed her passion: -
10:21 - 10:23the music, the notes.
-
10:23 - 10:27Everything that came from there,
-
10:27 - 10:32and made her write poems and songs
-
10:32 - 10:35that got their way into people.
-
10:36 - 10:38And when this meeting took place,
-
10:38 - 10:44something clicked perfectly,
-
10:44 - 10:48because all she wrote in her songs
-
10:49 - 10:50at the end was her life.
-
10:51 - 10:57It was all the emotion she felt
and keeps feeling. -
10:57 - 11:00And all I wrote about
in my life, was my life. -
11:01 - 11:04But not past life,
also present and future life. -
11:04 - 11:08So, on a road trip,
we looked at each other -
11:08 - 11:11and it came to me spontaneously -
-
11:11 - 11:14it turned on that light I said before?
-
11:14 - 11:18Since that evening of March 24th
lights have been on -
11:18 - 11:20and I really feel the strength
-
11:20 - 11:23of a person who takes me
and says to me: you have to go. -
11:23 - 11:27And it puts me right in front
of the path I've got to take. -
11:27 - 11:30I just have to be willing to walk.
-
11:30 - 11:35And I looked at her and I said:
Pia, can we do something together? -
11:36 - 11:38And from there she wrote
those songs that I heard -
11:38 - 11:43but that I didn't feel
like I had a singer next to me -
11:43 - 11:48writing those songs
that I heard on the radio. -
11:49 - 11:52And as I listened to them carefully,
more and more carefully, -
11:52 - 11:54I looked at her and said:
-
11:54 - 11:58Pia, we're identical because your life
intertwines with mine. -
11:59 - 12:02And from there we have -
-
12:02 - 12:07in half a day we found
ourselves at her house, -
12:07 - 12:12and we knocked down ten songs.
-
12:12 - 12:16And when I heard the notes
of her songs passing by, -
12:16 - 12:21I would take them
like a demonic - I took my book -
12:21 - 12:24and started to write the pieces.
-
12:24 - 12:26That's "Io e Lei" genesis.
-
12:27 - 12:32Io e Lei [Me and Here] are two people.
It's about the strength of being together. -
12:34 - 12:36But "Io e Lei" may also be
a lonely person. -
12:37 - 12:40I mean, when one wakes up
in the evening or in the morning -
12:41 - 12:44put herself in front of the mirror
and she look at herself - -
12:46 - 12:49because then, in the end,
being together is fundamental -
12:49 - 12:56because sharing, meeting people
in my opinion is the best of life:. -
12:58 - 12:59But in the end,
-
12:59 - 13:04no one give the right answers but us.
-
13:05 - 13:08Only by really looking us in the eye -
-
13:08 - 13:11or stopping us for a second.
-
13:11 - 13:16Now we go, now you have to run,
you have to work, you have to do, -
13:16 - 13:17you never stop.
-
13:17 - 13:19You're all the time
on the phone, or online -
13:19 - 13:24or - I have to work, I have
to go shopping, buy this or that. -
13:24 - 13:26But one second, if you stop,
-
13:26 - 13:31you can appreciate what's important.
-
13:32 - 13:36Because there's nothing
taken for granted in life. -
13:37 - 13:41"It never happens to me";
"Look at her, now she's here... " -
13:41 - 13:42And instead you realize
-
13:42 - 13:45that overnight, in a moment,
-
13:45 - 13:48you are here and you're
the main character. -
13:49 - 13:53And you just have
to go on, and bravely try -
13:53 - 13:58to make this route as nicely as possible.
-
13:58 - 14:00And the show is this:
-
14:00 - 14:04the show is a set of emotions
where you talk about - what? -
14:04 - 14:10You talk about death, about pain,
but you mainly talk about rebirth, -
14:10 - 14:16awakening, love, friendship,
-
14:16 - 14:23something that you have -
because we all have it, in us - -
14:23 - 14:24and with Pia we took our hand
-
14:24 - 14:29and we are taking it around Italy
to share it with people. -
14:29 - 14:31We share social projects,
-
14:31 - 14:34because then we also go and take hands
-
14:34 - 14:38with associations that carry messages:
-
14:38 - 14:40ours is that, "Let's never give up".
-
14:40 - 14:43Anything that happens to you, anything,
-
14:43 - 14:47a tragedy or an obstacle, anything.
-
14:47 - 14:49Look ahead and go straight on,
-
14:49 - 14:53because someone will always be there
who supports you to be winning. -
14:54 - 14:57I feel like a very lucky
and very successful woman. -
14:58 - 15:00No children for me, and I have five.
-
15:01 - 15:05Same thing for Pia: she worked
15 years with Vasco Rossi. -
15:05 - 15:08After 15 years, the music icon said hello
-
15:08 - 15:10because she did accept no compromise.
-
15:11 - 15:15And she is making it, and she is following
her heart, her passion -
15:15 - 15:17which is writing songs,
-
15:17 - 15:20writing music and sharing them with people
-
15:20 - 15:25passing even difficult times.
-
15:26 - 15:28We are carrying messages
-
15:28 - 15:33that are the ones that get to your heart
and really bring you to light - -
15:33 - 15:35we light sparks.
-
15:35 - 15:37Then people go home,
-
15:37 - 15:40and it's up to us to feed the spark.
-
15:40 - 15:41We give messages
-
15:41 - 15:48that can also be those
of medical attention, right? -
15:48 - 15:53Bobo went to play [and] he was fine.
He never came home. -
15:54 - 15:57Medical examination? Well, he did many.
-
15:58 - 16:02I found out, however,
he felt bad in the field. -
16:02 - 16:06Being brave in organ donation -
-
16:06 - 16:11Pia, unfortunately, lost her a sister
suffering from Down's syndrome, -
16:12 - 16:13a while ago.
-
16:13 - 16:16And Mom, the family
decided to donate the liver. -
16:17 - 16:19That no one could imagine
-
16:19 - 16:23that a little girl with Down's syndrome
could do such a thing. -
16:23 - 16:26Everything can be done:
it's just having the courage. -
16:27 - 16:30The courage to look at each other,
the courage to go ahead -
16:31 - 16:35and the courage to say:
I really can do it. -
16:36 - 16:43And if you manage to get in
and make the most out of what you have - -
16:44 - 16:47I don't want to be the one who says:
-
16:47 - 16:54I look at the sun, what a wonder.
the lawn, the moon. -
16:54 - 16:58And all this is beautiful,
but it really is beautiful -
16:59 - 17:05because so many situations
and so many times we go - -
17:05 - 17:07this trip is like going by train.
-
17:09 - 17:12Let's slow down,
start looking at the landscape. -
17:13 - 17:19Let's start to share also,
with the people next to us, -
17:19 - 17:22a hug, a kiss, a I love you
-
17:23 - 17:27It can make the day
-
17:27 - 17:30to you and mainly
to the person next to you. -
17:31 - 17:34So it's something that,
-
17:34 - 17:38in here, silence speaks.
-
17:39 - 17:41And listen to each other.
-
17:41 - 17:44Thank you so much, good life to everyone.
-
17:44 - 17:47(Applause)
- Title:
- Never give up! I Federica Lisi I TEDxMantova
- Description:
-
"Never give up", this is Federica's message, which found in pain the drive to her rebirth and in love the strength to always look ahead.
Federica was a volleyball player of the Italian national team and the life partner of Vigor Bovolenta, a volleyball champion who died prematurely. Author of the best seller "Noi non ci lasceremo mai", today she takes all across Italy "Ioelei", a show of music and words that convey her extraordinary life experience.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community.
Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx
- Video Language:
- Italian
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDxTalks
- Duration:
- 17:52
Muriel de Meo approved English subtitles for Non si molla mai! | Federica Lisi | TEDxMantova | ||
Michele Gianella accepted English subtitles for Non si molla mai! | Federica Lisi | TEDxMantova | ||
Michele Gianella edited English subtitles for Non si molla mai! | Federica Lisi | TEDxMantova | ||
Cecilia Bernabeni edited English subtitles for Non si molla mai! | Federica Lisi | TEDxMantova | ||
Cecilia Bernabeni edited English subtitles for Non si molla mai! | Federica Lisi | TEDxMantova |