The Complicity of Geek Masculinity on the Big Bang Theory

CBS’s hit sitcom The Big Bang Theory delights
in poking fun at its male characters

for their fanboy obsessions with comic
books, video games, and…

“Dungeons & Dragons!”

Often the punchlines aren’t really jokes
per se. Instead laughs are derived by simply

referencing something that sounds vaguely nerdy.

Sheldon: "Did you just shut the TV off in the
middle of the classic Deep Space 9, Star Trek

the Original Series Trouble with Tribbles
crossover episode?"

I suspect this is one of reasons why so
many people involved in geek subcultures

tend to dislike the show so much. It’s
essentially one long joke at their expense.

But I’d argue here’s something more pernicious
going on just under the surface.

Leonard: "So it's cool if I cry a little?"

Penny: "Yeah, I probably wouldn't."
Leonard: "Yeah..."

Beyond its general mocking of geekdom,
the show is relentless in making fun of

its male characters for not living up to
traditional expectations of manhood.

On the surface it might seem like these
nerdy nice guys represent a welcome

alternative to the macho archetypes that
we've all come to expect from Hollywood.

But on closer inspection we find that,
despite their status as nerdy outsiders,

these guys are still complicit in many of the
most destructive aspects of toxic masculinity.

Leonard: "Yes, but our society has undergone
a paradigm shift. In the information age, Sheldon,

you and I are the alpha males. We shouldn't
have to back down.

I'm going to assert my dominance face to face."

In my previous video essay about the
Adorkable Misogynist trope I discussed

the creepy, entitled and often sexist ways
in which these geeky guys treat women.

Howard: "Get it? They're laughing. We're
laughing. Then we get them up to about

.15 blood alcohol level, and tell them
we're millionaires."

But I think it’s also worth examining how
they treat each other...

Raj: "The first thing we need is a theme.
I'm thinking...turn of the century Moulin Rouge."

Leonard: "I'm thinking you need a
testosterone patch."

...and by extension how the show’s writers
end up reinforcing a whole bunch of

regressive ideas about what it means
to be a “real man.”

Leonard: "Beer, wings, sliders. We can watch
the football game. I even painted my stomach."

There's a running gag on the show about
how Leonard doesn't understand sports or

other activities that are stereotypically
associated with men.

Penny: "Go sports?"

Leonard: "Well, in case you were in the
mood for baseball, I didn't want to look ridiculous"

Leonard: "Go, go, go, YES! Are you people
watching this? Is this amazing or what?!"

Penny: "Sweetie, that's a highlight from
the '98 championship game."

Leonard: "Oh. I did not know that."

The joke relies on the assumption that all
men are supposed to like sports,

and therefore it's inherently funny and
absurd if a guy doesn't.

Now sitcoms are, of course, supposed to be funny

but as with all comedy, it's important to
ask: Who are we meant to laugh with?

And who are we meant to laugh at?

Howard: "Hey."

Notice the laughter in this scene stems
almost entirely from seeing Howard

wearing an apron.

Raj: "What's with the gloves?"

Howard: "They complete my ensemble. What
do you want?"

The humor relies on the sexist idea that
domestic tasks like cooking and cleaning

are women's work, and therefore, Howard's
masculinity is somehow diminished by

being forced to clean the house. This
reductive mix of sexism and emasculation

is really at the heart of the show's
comedic formula.

Sheldon: "When I fail to open this jar, and
you succeed, it will establish you as the

alpha male. I'm not strong enough, Leonard,
You'll have to do it."

Sheldon: "Go ahead. It's pre-loosened."

Notice that these jokes aren't designed to
challenge or subvert the limiting and

often toxic ideas about what it means to
be a "real man."

"Do you want some help with that?"
Leonard: "No, no, no."

Instead, the punchlines reinforce this notion
that guys who aren't physically strong,

tough, or athletic are unmanly.

Leonard: "That's enough cardio for me. I'm
gonna stretch out before I hit the weights."

And therefore worthy of ridicule.

Howard: "Hold on. Pause. Something doesn't
make sense."

In order to move forward in this discussion,
we're going to have to get academic just

for a minute, and very quickly define a
couple of terms. Those are

Hegemonic Masculinity and Hypermasculinity.

Hegemonic Masculinity is a term that's used
to describe the socially constructed ideal

of manhood. It's characterized by things like
physical strength, aggression, domination,

suppression of emotions, and heterosexuality.

The ideal varies somewhat based on
factors like geography, but here I'm

concerned with white Western manhood as
shaped by Hollywood. For obvious examples

think of Conan the Barbarian, James Bond,
or Captain America.

All the guys on the Big Bang Theory are
depicted as embodying the exact opposite

of that Hegemonic ideal.

Howard (gravelly voice): "I'm Batman."

So much so, that simply seeing them dress
up as their favorite superhero is

in and of itself a punchine.

Howard: "Ow!...I mean [gravelly] Ow."

The important thing to understand about
this manhood ideal is that it's a fiction.

It only really exists in the cultural
imagination. Which means that men can

never really actually achieve it.

However, it's still a standard against which
men are held and compared.

The social expectations and pressures on men
to try to achieve some version of it is real

as is the social status either lost or gained
based on a man's perceived proximity to

that ideal.

The term Hypermasculinity is a little different.

It refers to the set of attitudes and behaviors
associated with the pursuit of that

Hegemonic ideal.

Hypermasculinity includes things like
aggressive competition,

sexual conquest, and destructive or
risk taking behaviors like fighting,

reckless driving, or heavy drinking.

Hypermasculinity is also obsessively
anti-feminine.

Now keep that in mind because it's going
to be imporant a little later.

Hypermasculine behaviors are how men are
taught to perform their manhood, to prove

that they are closer to that fictional ideal
than the other men around them.

Leonard: "Oh no!"

The four geeks on the Big Bang Theory are
shown constantly attempting to perform

some version of hypermasculinity.

Sheldon: "Now prepare yourself for what
may come."

Wil Wheaton: "Oh Sheldon, do you really
think we're going to fight?"

Their spectacular failures in their quest
to prove their manhood then provides

the ironic hook behind much of the shows
comedy.

Leonard: "I say this one time, instead of
wimping out, let's be bad-asses!"

Raj: "Ok. I'll be a bad-ass, but only if
you pinky-swear to be one too."

Now you'd think a bunch of geeks who are
regularly derided for being unmanly would

be supportive of each other's insecurities.

And although there are fleeting moments of
compassion between the four friends

they spend much of their time mocking
and humiliating each other for not

living up to the manhood ideal.

Sheldon: "I see you decided to go with
pathetic and frightened."

Raj: "It's one of his best moves."

Sheldon: "I'm having female problems."

Leonard: "If you're cranky and retaining
water, I have a theory."

Raj: "I have to talk to her about this."

Howard: "Geez, why do you girls always
want to talk about things?"

This may seem a little counter-intuitive;
why would nerds who are bullied for

not acting manly enough, then turn around
and replicate that same behavior within

their own circles? Well, it's because one
ways men learn to perform manhood...

Sheldon: "None shall pass."

...is by exerting power over others.

Remember when I said that one of the
characteristics of Hypermasculinity was

an obsession with being anti-feminine?

Sheldon: "A girls' night? I don't know if
I'm up for an evening talking about

rainbows, unicorns, and menstrual cramps."

Time and again we see the men on the show
demeaning women and expressing a casual

distain for anything considered "girl stuff."

Howard: "Sex In the City? Yikes!"

Penny: "Hey, I happen to love this movie."

Howard: "Fine, let's watch it. Maybe all
our periods with synchronize."

Anti-feminine attitudes are also connected
to the ways that men police each other's

presentation of manhood.

Sheldon: "Because of your lactose intolerance
you switched over to soy milk. Soy contains

estrogen-mimicking compounds. I think your
morning Coco Puffs are turning you into a

hysterical woman."

Just so we're clear, when men insult and
belittle other men by calling them women,

that is an extension of misogyny.

Leonard: "You're controlling, you're
irritating..."

Sheldon: "There you go again: nag, nag, nag.
You're only proving my point little lady."

Nowhere is this dynamic as clear as in
the show's treatment of Raj.

Raj: "Edward's only pushing you away
because he loves you."

Raj: "I've got everything we'll need for
the big game: low-fat turkey jerky,

low-carb beer, 100 calorie snack packs."

Leonard: "Pick up a Y-chromosome while you
were there? You might be short one."

Howard: "I won't be making fun of you or
the things you like, or the fact that you

[singing] just wanna have fu-un."

In practically every episode over ten
seasons, the other characters on the show

make fun of Raj for acting too much like
a woman.

Raj: "It wasn't a pajama party. It was just
a couple of bros hanging out, giggling,

eating cookie dough, and watching
Princess Bride."

Howard: "Please stop talking."

As you might expect, the jokes targeting
Raj for not being manly enough

are steeped in a thick layer of homophobia.

Howard: "Wow!"

Raj: "And that's not even the best part.
See, I have one too."

Raj: "Check it out, you can wear yours and
we can have little sword fights whenever we want."

The humor consistently codes Raj's more
effeminate behaviors and interests as gay

and that's always the punchline.

Raj: "May I have a Grasshopper with a
little umbrella, please?"

Howard: "No, you may not."
Raj: "Why?"

Howard: "I'm not sitting here with a guy
drinking a Grasshopper with a little umbrella."

Raj: "Fine. I'll have a chocolate martini."

Howard: " Wrong! Again!"

Raj is the only one of the four guys who
after 230 episodes still doesn't have a

steady girlfriend.

Raj: "Do have any idea what it's like to be
the only one without a girlfriend?"

Raj: "Even if I get one someday, I'll still
be the guy who got a girl after Sheldon Cooper."

All the others have had their long-term
partners join the main cast.

I don't think it's a coincidence that the
character most ridiculed for being the

most unmanly in a group of men specifically
coded to be unmanly, is also the only

man of color on the show.

And as such, Raj fits neatly into Hollywood's
long-running tradition of mocking and

diminishing the sexuality of Asian men.

At times, Raj seems comfortable with his
softer, more effeminate version of manhood.

TV: "Bridget Jones' Diary."
Raj: "Oh my god, I'm crying already."

But the show and the other male characters
are not, and they let Raj and us as the

audience know that there is something
wrong with him for not being manly enough

every chance they get.

Leonard: "What's up?
Howard: "Not his testosterone levels."

Raj: "Excuse me, I happen to very
comfortable with my masculinity."

Howard: "How is that possible?"

In her 1995 book, Masculinities, RW Connell
lays out the theory that there's not just

one form of masculinity, but rather many
different forms of manhood that all exist

within a hierarchy.

The white heterosexual hypermasculine ideal
is at the top of that hierarchy, and then all

other forms of masculinity are made
subordinate to it.

Forms of manhood that are in any way
associated with homosexuality

or femininity are pushed further down on
the hierarchy.

Sam Spade: "When you're slapped,
you'll take it and like it."

This hierarchical structure then creates
a social system wherein men are encouraged

to compete with other men for status and
dominance,

even within their own peer groups
and subcultures.

Leonard: "You want some more?"

This is why even men who are bullied for
not meeting the hypermasculine ideal

often feel the only way they can be seen
as real men...

Howard: "Well, come on! Get up!"
Leonard: "Stay down, bitch."

... is by diminishing someone else.

Raj: "I am Shiva the Destroyer. I will
have the woman."

Howard: "I'm warning you, I was judo
champion at math camp."

The relationship dynamics between Leonard,
Sheldon, Howard, and Raj provides us with

a microcosm of how this hierarchy of
masculinities works.

Raj: "Dude, I'm glad you finally got a
girlfriend, but do you have to do all that

lovey-dovey stuff in front of those of us
who don't?"

Sheldon: "Actually he might have to. There's
an economic concept known as a

positional good, in which an object is only
valued by the possessor because it's not

possessed by others."

Howard: "It's not true. My happiness is
not dependent on my best friend being

miserable and alone."
Raj: "Thank you."

Howard: "Although I'd be lying if I said
it wasn't a little bit of a perk."

Practically every aspect of their friendship
from the personal to the professional

revolves around competition.

Leonard: "OW!"

Leonard: "Why'd you do that?"

Sheldon: "To send a message:
she is not for you."

Raj: "Back off Sheldon."
Sheldon: "What?"

Raj: "If you do not stop hitting on my lady,
you will feel the full extent of my wrath."

Leonard: "Howard, relax. I am not
interested in your girlfriend."

Howard: "I hope not because you
don't want to mess with me."

Howard: "I'm crazy."

Leonard: "Do it."

In fact, their entire lives are defined by
a never ending game of one-upmanship.

Sheldon: "Don't just stand there; take
your breasts out."

On the Big Bang Theory, just like in the
real world, women are often leveraged

as symbols of status within groups of
male friends.

Penny: "What was that for?"

Leonard: "To show people when they
don't believe me."

The show consistently frames manhood as
something that's either reaffirmed or

diminished by the ability of the guys to
"score" with women.

Howard: "Wow! Sex at work?"

Leonard: "Leave it alone. That's my
girlfriend."

Howard: "Sorry."
Leonard: "--who just had sex with me at work!"

Howard: "Damn, how'd you swing that?"

Leonard: "Two women at the same time?
Nice job, player!"

Whenever any one of the four nerds doesn't
have a girlfriend, the others will ridicule

him for it.

Howard: "Knock, knock."
Leonard: "Who's there?"

Howard: "I have a girlfriend and you don't."

Sheldon: "I have a functioning and satisfying
relationship with a female. You have none."

Under the narrow constraints of
hypermasculinity, the only thing worse than

being unable to acquire a woman is being
controlled by one.

Howard: "I downloaded an app that might be
helpful in this situation."

[sound of a cracking whip]

Now the women on the show do occasionally
join in with the ridicule.

Penny: "Alright, who's ready for another beer?"

Leonard: "I'm good."
Raj: "No thank you."

Penny: "Girls."

But the vast majority of the put-downs of
nerdy mend don't come from women

Sheldon's phone: [sound of cracking whip]

...they come from other men.

Sheldon: "Amy please. I am trying to figure
out a way to intellectually emasculate a

dear friend of mine."

Raj: "Hey, while you you decide, who's
better in bed: big hot Zack or

wheezy little Leonard?"

There is an unfortunate tendency in our
culture to try to pin the blame for men's

emasculation on women, but most of the
time the perpetrators are men who are

participating in this competition for
dominance.

And in so doing, they become complicit in
the very structures that harm and exclude them.

Penny: "You know for a group of guys who
claim they spent most of their lives being

bullied, you can bee real jerks.
Shame on all of you."

All this competitive and anti-feminine
behavior is framed by the show as harmless,

as good-natured fun, as normal and natural
and inevitable for men.

But the reality is that the social pressures
that society places on men to engage

in this hypermasculine competition
is anything but harmless.

It can be dangerous for men and for those
around them,

both in terms of physical health and
emotional well-being.

It makes it difficult if not impossible
for straight men to be vulnerable and

caring with others, which in turn, makes it
very hard to build close, supportive

friendships with women and with other men.

Sheldon: "That's quite a gesture on your part.
You've shown yourself to be the bigger man."

Howard: "Thank you."

Sheldon: "Which I find totally unacceptable.

I must be the bigger man."

But unlike Leonard, Sheldon, Howard, and
Raj, who are locked into a perpetual

competition by their writers, men in the
real world have a choice.

We can choose to reject the battle for
dominance, and instead embrace empathetic

and supportive forms of manhood.

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