0:00:05.794,0:00:12.429
CBS’s hit sitcom The Big Bang Theory delights[br]in poking fun at its male characters

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for their fanboy obsessions with comic[br]books, video games, and…[br]

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“Dungeons & Dragons!”

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Often the punchlines aren’t really jokes[br]per se. Instead laughs are derived by simply

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referencing something that sounds vaguely nerdy.

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Sheldon: "Did you just shut the TV off in the[br]middle of the classic Deep Space 9, Star Trek

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the Original Series Trouble with Tribbles [br]crossover episode?"

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I suspect this is one of reasons why so [br]many people involved in geek subcultures

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tend to dislike the show so much. It’s[br]essentially one long joke at their expense.

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But I’d argue here’s something more pernicious[br]going on just under the surface.

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Leonard: "So it's cool if I cry a little?"

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Penny: "Yeah, I probably wouldn't."[br]Leonard: "Yeah..."

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Beyond its general mocking of geekdom,[br]the show is relentless in making fun of

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its male characters for not living up to[br]traditional expectations of manhood.

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On the surface it might seem like these[br]nerdy nice guys represent a welcome

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alternative to the macho archetypes that [br]we've all come to expect from Hollywood.

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But on closer inspection we find that,[br]despite their status as nerdy outsiders,

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these guys are still complicit in many of the[br]most destructive aspects of toxic masculinity.

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Leonard: "Yes, but our society has undergone[br]a paradigm shift. In the information age, Sheldon,

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you and I are the alpha males. We shouldn't[br]have to back down.

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I'm going to assert my dominance face to face."

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In my previous video essay about the [br]Adorkable Misogynist trope I discussed

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the creepy, entitled and often sexist ways [br]in which these geeky guys treat women.

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Howard: "Get it? They're laughing. We're[br]laughing. Then we get them up to about

0:02:12.279,0:02:15.559
.15 blood alcohol level, and tell them[br]we're millionaires."

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But I think it’s also worth examining how [br]they treat each other...

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Raj: "The first thing we need is a theme.[br]I'm thinking...turn of the century Moulin Rouge."

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Leonard: "I'm thinking you need a [br]testosterone patch."

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...and by extension how the show’s writers[br]end up reinforcing a whole bunch of

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regressive ideas about what it means[br]to be a “real man.”

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Leonard: "Beer, wings, sliders. We can watch[br]the football game. I even painted my stomach."

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There's a running gag on the show about[br]how Leonard doesn't understand sports or

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other activities that are stereotypically[br]associated with men.

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Penny: "Go sports?"

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Leonard: "Well, in case you were in the[br]mood for baseball, I didn't want to look ridiculous"

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Leonard: "Go, go, go, YES! Are you people[br]watching this? Is this amazing or what?!"

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Penny: "Sweetie, that's a highlight from [br]the '98 championship game."

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Leonard: "Oh. I did not know that."

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The joke relies on the assumption that all[br]men are supposed to like sports,

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and therefore it's inherently funny and [br]absurd if a guy doesn't.

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Now sitcoms are, of course, supposed to be funny

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but as with all comedy, it's important to[br]ask: Who are we meant to laugh with?

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And who are we meant to laugh at?

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Howard: "Hey."

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Notice the laughter in this scene stems[br]almost entirely from seeing Howard

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wearing an apron.

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Raj: "What's with the gloves?"

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Howard: "They complete my ensemble. What[br]do you want?"

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The humor relies on the sexist idea that[br]domestic tasks like cooking and cleaning

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are women's work, and therefore, Howard's[br]masculinity is somehow diminished by

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being forced to clean the house. This [br]reductive mix of sexism and emasculation

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is really at the heart of the show's[br]comedic formula.

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Sheldon: "When I fail to open this jar, and[br]you succeed, it will establish you as the

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alpha male. I'm not strong enough, Leonard,[br]You'll have to do it."

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Sheldon: "Go ahead. It's pre-loosened."

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Notice that these jokes aren't designed to[br]challenge or subvert the limiting and

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often toxic ideas about what it means to[br]be a "real man."

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"Do you want some help with that?"[br]Leonard: "No, no, no."

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Instead, the punchlines reinforce this notion[br]that guys who aren't physically strong,

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tough, or athletic are unmanly.

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Leonard: "That's enough cardio for me. I'm[br]gonna stretch out before I hit the weights."

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And therefore worthy of ridicule.

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Howard: "Hold on. Pause. Something doesn't[br]make sense."

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In order to move forward in this discussion,[br]we're going to have to get academic just

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for a minute, and very quickly define a [br]couple of terms. Those are

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Hegemonic Masculinity and Hypermasculinity.

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Hegemonic Masculinity is a term that's used[br]to describe the socially constructed ideal

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of manhood. It's characterized by things like[br]physical strength, aggression, domination,

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suppression of emotions, and heterosexuality.

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The ideal varies somewhat based on[br]factors like geography, but here I'm

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concerned with white Western manhood as[br]shaped by Hollywood. For obvious examples

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think of Conan the Barbarian, James Bond,[br]or Captain America.

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All the guys on the Big Bang Theory are [br]depicted as embodying the exact opposite

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of that Hegemonic ideal.

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Howard (gravelly voice): "I'm Batman."

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So much so, that simply seeing them dress[br]up as their favorite superhero is

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in and of itself a punchine.

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Howard: "Ow!...I mean [gravelly] Ow."

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The important thing to understand about[br]this manhood ideal is that it's a fiction.

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It only really exists in the cultural [br]imagination. Which means that men can

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never really actually achieve it.

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However, it's still a standard against which[br]men are held and compared.

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The social expectations and pressures on men[br]to try to achieve some version of it is real

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as is the social status either lost or gained[br]based on a man's perceived proximity to

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that ideal.

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The term Hypermasculinity is a little different.

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It refers to the set of attitudes and behaviors[br]associated with the pursuit of that

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Hegemonic ideal.

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Hypermasculinity includes things like[br]aggressive competition,

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sexual conquest, and destructive or[br]risk taking behaviors like fighting,

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reckless driving, or heavy drinking.

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Hypermasculinity is also obsessively [br]anti-feminine.

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Now keep that in mind because it's going[br]to be imporant a little later.

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Hypermasculine behaviors are how men are[br]taught to perform their manhood, to prove

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that they are closer to that fictional ideal[br]than the other men around them.

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Leonard: "Oh no!"

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The four geeks on the Big Bang Theory are[br]shown constantly attempting to perform

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some version of hypermasculinity.

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Sheldon: "Now prepare yourself for what[br]may come."

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Wil Wheaton: "Oh Sheldon, do you really[br]think we're going to fight?"

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Their spectacular failures in their quest[br]to prove their manhood then provides

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the ironic hook behind much of the shows[br]comedy.

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Leonard: "I say this one time, instead of [br]wimping out, let's be bad-asses!"

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Raj: "Ok. I'll be a bad-ass, but only if[br]you pinky-swear to be one too."

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Now you'd think a bunch of geeks who are[br]regularly derided for being unmanly would

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be supportive of each other's insecurities.

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And although there are fleeting moments of[br]compassion between the four friends

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they spend much of their time mocking[br]and humiliating each other for not

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living up to the manhood ideal.

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Sheldon: "I see you decided to go with[br]pathetic and frightened."

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Raj: "It's one of his best moves."

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Sheldon: "I'm having female problems."

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Leonard: "If you're cranky and retaining [br]water, I have a theory."

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Raj: "I have to talk to her about this."

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Howard: "Geez, why do you girls always[br]want to talk about things?"

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This may seem a little counter-intuitive;[br]why would nerds who are bullied for

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not acting manly enough, then turn around[br]and replicate that same behavior within

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their own circles? Well, it's because one [br]ways men learn to perform manhood...

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Sheldon: "None shall pass."

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...is by exerting power over others.

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Remember when I said that one of the[br]characteristics of Hypermasculinity was

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an obsession with being anti-feminine?

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Sheldon: "A girls' night? I don't know if[br]I'm up for an evening talking about

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rainbows, unicorns, and menstrual cramps."

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Time and again we see the men on the show[br]demeaning women and expressing a casual

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distain for anything considered "girl stuff."

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Howard: "Sex In the City? Yikes!"

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Penny: "Hey, I happen to love this movie."

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Howard: "Fine, let's watch it. Maybe all [br]our periods with synchronize."

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Anti-feminine attitudes are also connected[br]to the ways that men police each other's

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presentation of manhood.

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Sheldon: "Because of your lactose intolerance[br]you switched over to soy milk. Soy contains

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estrogen-mimicking compounds. I think your[br]morning Coco Puffs are turning you into a

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hysterical woman."

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Just so we're clear, when men insult and [br]belittle other men by calling them women,

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that is an extension of misogyny.

0:10:20.291,0:10:22.167
Leonard: "You're controlling, you're[br]irritating..."

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Sheldon: "There you go again: nag, nag, nag.[br]You're only proving my point little lady."

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Nowhere is this dynamic as clear as in[br]the show's treatment of Raj.

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Raj: "Edward's only pushing you away [br]because he loves you."

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Raj: "I've got everything we'll need for[br]the big game: low-fat turkey jerky,

0:10:42.794,0:10:47.794
low-carb beer, 100 calorie snack packs."

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Leonard: "Pick up a Y-chromosome while you[br]were there? You might be short one."

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Howard: "I won't be making fun of you or[br]the things you like, or the fact that you

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[singing] just wanna have fu-un."

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In practically every episode over ten [br]seasons, the other characters on the show

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make fun of Raj for acting too much like[br]a woman.

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Raj: "It wasn't a pajama party. It was just[br]a couple of bros hanging out, giggling,

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eating cookie dough, and watching[br]Princess Bride."

0:11:16.014,0:11:18.084
Howard: "Please stop talking."

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As you might expect, the jokes targeting [br]Raj for not being manly enough

0:11:22.892,0:11:25.837
are steeped in a thick layer of homophobia.

0:11:25.837,0:11:26.546
Howard: "Wow!"

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Raj: "And that's not even the best part.[br]See, I have one too."

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Raj: "Check it out, you can wear yours and[br]we can have little sword fights whenever we want."

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The humor consistently codes Raj's more[br]effeminate behaviors and interests as gay

0:11:45.097,0:11:47.207
and that's always the punchline.

0:11:47.511,0:11:50.611
Raj: "May I have a Grasshopper with a[br]little umbrella, please?"

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Howard: "No, you may not."[br]Raj: "Why?"

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Howard: "I'm not sitting here with a guy[br]drinking a Grasshopper with a little umbrella."

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Raj: "Fine. I'll have a chocolate martini."

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Howard: " Wrong! Again!"

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Raj is the only one of the four guys who[br]after 230 episodes still doesn't have a

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steady girlfriend.

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Raj: "Do have any idea what it's like to be[br]the only one without a girlfriend?"

0:12:15.962,0:12:21.302
Raj: "Even if I get one someday, I'll still[br]be the guy who got a girl after Sheldon Cooper."

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All the others have had their long-term[br]partners join the main cast.

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I don't think it's a coincidence that the [br]character most ridiculed for being the

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most unmanly in a group of men specifically[br]coded to be unmanly, is also the only

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man of color on the show.

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And as such, Raj fits neatly into Hollywood's[br]long-running tradition of mocking and

0:12:45.648,0:12:48.668
diminishing the sexuality of Asian men.

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At times, Raj seems comfortable with his[br]softer, more effeminate version of manhood.

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TV: "Bridget Jones' Diary."[br]Raj: "Oh my god, I'm crying already."

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But the show and the other male characters[br]are not, and they let Raj and us as the

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audience know that there is something[br]wrong with him for not being manly enough

0:13:10.955,0:13:13.325
every chance they get.

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Leonard: "What's up?[br]Howard: "Not his testosterone levels."

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Raj: "Excuse me, I happen to very[br]comfortable with my masculinity."

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Howard: "How is that possible?"

0:13:25.437,0:13:31.507
In her 1995 book, Masculinities, RW Connell[br]lays out the theory that there's not just

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one form of masculinity, but rather many [br]different forms of manhood that all exist

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within a hierarchy.

0:13:39.270,0:13:45.564
The white heterosexual hypermasculine ideal[br]is at the top of that hierarchy, and then all

0:13:45.574,0:13:49.584
other forms of masculinity are made [br]subordinate to it.

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Forms of manhood that are in any way [br]associated with homosexuality

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or femininity are pushed further down on[br]the hierarchy.

0:13:58.388,0:14:01.498
Sam Spade: "When you're slapped,[br]you'll take it and like it."

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This hierarchical structure then creates[br]a social system wherein men are encouraged

0:14:07.258,0:14:10.778
to compete with other men for status and [br]dominance,

0:14:10.890,0:14:13.730
even within their own peer groups[br]and subcultures.

0:14:13.782,0:14:15.642
Leonard: "You want some more?"

0:14:15.645,0:14:19.685
This is why even men who are bullied for[br]not meeting the hypermasculine ideal

0:14:19.695,0:14:23.511
often feel the only way they can be seen [br]as real men...

0:14:23.511,0:14:26.191
Howard: "Well, come on! Get up!"[br]Leonard: "Stay down, bitch."

0:14:26.430,0:14:28.770
... is by diminishing someone else.

0:14:28.770,0:14:31.950
Raj: "I am Shiva the Destroyer. I will[br]have the woman."

0:14:33.445,0:14:37.315
Howard: "I'm warning you, I was judo [br]champion at math camp."

0:14:37.601,0:14:43.331
The relationship dynamics between Leonard,[br]Sheldon, Howard, and Raj provides us with

0:14:43.445,0:14:47.685
a microcosm of how this hierarchy of[br]masculinities works.

0:14:48.495,0:14:51.976
Raj: "Dude, I'm glad you finally got a[br]girlfriend, but do you have to do all that

0:14:51.976,0:14:54.206
lovey-dovey stuff in front of those of us[br]who don't?"

0:14:54.320,0:14:57.768
Sheldon: "Actually he might have to. There's[br]an economic concept known as a

0:14:57.768,0:15:02.188
positional good, in which an object is only[br]valued by the possessor because it's not

0:15:02.217,0:15:03.871
possessed by others."

0:15:03.871,0:15:07.187
Howard: "It's not true. My happiness is[br]not dependent on my best friend being

0:15:07.187,0:15:09.197
miserable and alone."[br]Raj: "Thank you."

0:15:09.197,0:15:12.047
Howard: "Although I'd be lying if I said [br]it wasn't a little bit of a perk."

0:15:12.696,0:15:17.606
Practically every aspect of their friendship[br]from the personal to the professional

0:15:17.700,0:15:20.240
revolves around competition.

0:15:20.439,0:15:21.859
Leonard: "OW!"

0:15:25.016,0:15:26.287
Leonard: "Why'd you do that?"

0:15:26.287,0:15:29.337
Sheldon: "To send a message: [br]she is not for you."

0:15:29.977,0:15:32.546
Raj: "Back off Sheldon."[br]Sheldon: "What?"

0:15:32.546,0:15:35.856
Raj: "If you do not stop hitting on my lady,[br]you will feel the full extent of my wrath."

0:15:36.411,0:15:39.723
Leonard: "Howard, relax. I am not[br]interested in your girlfriend."

0:15:39.723,0:15:43.323
Howard: "I hope not because you[br]don't want to mess with me."

0:15:49.228,0:15:50.388
Howard: "I'm crazy."

0:15:52.277,0:15:53.097
Leonard: "Do it."

0:15:55.572,0:16:00.852
In fact, their entire lives are defined by[br]a never ending game of one-upmanship.

0:16:01.357,0:16:03.837
Sheldon: "Don't just stand there; take [br]your breasts out."

0:16:04.565,0:16:09.415
On the Big Bang Theory, just like in the [br]real world, women are often leveraged

0:16:09.471,0:16:13.561
as symbols of status within groups of[br]male friends.

0:16:15.208,0:16:16.443
Penny: "What was that for?"

0:16:16.443,0:16:18.373
Leonard: "To show people when they [br]don't believe me."

0:16:19.149,0:16:23.709
The show consistently frames manhood as[br]something that's either reaffirmed or

0:16:23.951,0:16:28.351
diminished by the ability of the guys to[br]"score" with women.

0:16:28.480,0:16:31.580
Howard: "Wow! Sex at work?"[br]

0:16:31.599,0:16:34.349
Leonard: "Leave it alone. That's my[br]girlfriend."

0:16:34.379,0:16:37.479
Howard: "Sorry."[br]Leonard: "--who just had sex with me at work!"

0:16:38.593,0:16:40.423
Howard: "Damn, how'd you swing that?"

0:16:40.803,0:16:44.833
Leonard: "Two women at the same time?[br]Nice job, player!"

0:16:45.678,0:16:49.930
Whenever any one of the four nerds doesn't[br]have a girlfriend, the others will ridicule

0:16:49.930,0:16:51.070
him for it.

0:16:51.099,0:16:52.899
Howard: "Knock, knock."[br]Leonard: "Who's there?"

0:16:52.900,0:16:55.230
Howard: "I have a girlfriend and you don't."

0:16:55.648,0:17:02.248
Sheldon: "I have a functioning and satisfying[br]relationship with a female. You have none."

0:17:03.374,0:17:08.091
Under the narrow constraints of[br]hypermasculinity, the only thing worse than

0:17:08.091,0:17:12.491
being unable to acquire a woman is being[br]controlled by one.

0:17:12.582,0:17:17.332
Howard: "I downloaded an app that might be[br]helpful in this situation."

0:17:17.494,0:17:19.224
[sound of a cracking whip]

0:17:20.305,0:17:24.475
Now the women on the show do occasionally[br]join in with the ridicule.

0:17:24.732,0:17:26.482
Penny: "Alright, who's ready for another beer?"

0:17:26.559,0:17:28.303
Leonard: "I'm good."[br]Raj: "No thank you."

0:17:28.303,0:17:29.913
Penny: "Girls."

0:17:30.487,0:17:34.827
But the vast majority of the put-downs of[br]nerdy mend don't come from women

0:17:35.015,0:17:37.011
Sheldon's phone: [sound of cracking whip]

0:17:37.011,0:17:38.731
...they come from other men.

0:17:39.173,0:17:43.683
Sheldon: "Amy please. I am trying to figure[br]out a way to intellectually emasculate a

0:17:43.709,0:17:45.379
dear friend of mine."

0:17:45.951,0:17:49.971
Raj: "Hey, while you you decide, who's[br]better in bed: big hot Zack or

0:17:49.985,0:17:51.795
wheezy little Leonard?"

0:17:52.518,0:17:56.918
There is an unfortunate tendency in our[br]culture to try to pin the blame for men's

0:17:56.959,0:18:02.569
emasculation on women, but most of the[br]time the perpetrators are men who are

0:18:02.579,0:18:06.309
participating in this competition for [br]dominance.

0:18:07.227,0:18:13.237
And in so doing, they become complicit in [br]the very structures that harm and exclude them.

0:18:13.244,0:18:16.760
Penny: "You know for a group of guys who[br]claim they spent most of their lives being

0:18:16.760,0:18:20.240
bullied, you can bee real jerks.[br]Shame on all of you."

0:18:23.560,0:18:29.420
All this competitive and anti-feminine[br]behavior is framed by the show as harmless,

0:18:29.568,0:18:34.798
as good-natured fun, as normal and natural[br]and inevitable for men.

0:18:36.609,0:18:41.959
But the reality is that the social pressures[br]that society places on men to engage

0:18:42.023,0:18:46.253
in this hypermasculine competition[br]is anything but harmless.

0:18:46.465,0:18:50.236
It can be dangerous for men and for those[br]around them,

0:18:50.236,0:18:54.186
both in terms of physical health and [br]emotional well-being.

0:18:54.203,0:18:58.963
It makes it difficult if not impossible[br]for straight men to be vulnerable and

0:18:59.029,0:19:04.049
caring with others, which in turn, makes it[br]very hard to build close, supportive

0:19:04.054,0:19:07.084
friendships with women and with other men.

0:19:07.109,0:19:12.069
Sheldon: "That's quite a gesture on your part.[br]You've shown yourself to be the bigger man."

0:19:12.427,0:19:13.142
Howard: "Thank you."

0:19:13.142,0:19:15.472
Sheldon: "Which I find totally unacceptable.

0:19:16.637,0:19:18.577
I must be the bigger man."

0:19:19.797,0:19:24.937
But unlike Leonard, Sheldon, Howard, and[br]Raj, who are locked into a perpetual

0:19:24.944,0:19:29.754
competition by their writers, men in the [br]real world have a choice.

0:19:30.353,0:19:35.693
We can choose to reject the battle for[br]dominance, and instead embrace empathetic

0:19:35.842,0:19:38.382
and supportive forms of manhood.

0:19:39.962,0:19:44.440
Thanks so much for watching. If you like[br]these long-form video essays about the

0:19:44.440,0:19:48.140
intersections of entertainment and [br]masculinity, then please consider going

0:19:48.159,0:19:51.099
over to Patreon and helping[br]to fund this project.

0:19:51.116,0:19:54.326
There's also a link to Paypal in the[br]description below.

0:19:54.389,0:19:57.369
I will see you all again next month with [br]another video essay.