How to let anger out?

(Half bell)

(Bell)

When I am angry,

how do I let my anger out?

How to let my anger out?

Do you think that your anger has come
from the outside, went in,

and now you want to let it out again?

Are you sure that the anger is coming
from the outside?

That is a counter question.

(Laughter)

In Plum Village, we learn

how to deal with our anger,

how to take care of our anger.

Anger is not something pleasant.

It is like the mud.

But without the mud,

we cannot grow lotus flowers.

So the mud is useful, somehow...

so your anger is useful, somehow.

So, maybe you should not let it out.

You should not throw it away.

If you know how to make good use

of your anger,

you can grow the lotus of peace,

of joy, of forgiveness.

This is a very deep teaching
in Plum Village.

We have been learning about this.

Anger comes "up" --

not from the outside,
but from inside.

Because we do not understand,

that is why we cannot love.

And, if we look deeply,

if we listen deeply,

we'll be able to understand.

And, when we understand,

there is love.

And when there is love,

anger just transforms itself.

You don't have to take anger

and throw it away.

In fact, anger is something
that you can use.

And, if you hold that anger

in understanding, in compassion,

then, anger becomes something
like love...

like compassion.

I will give you an example.

The other fellow, this morning,

said something unkind to you.

He did something or he said something
unkind to you,

and you suffered.

And, anger is coming up.

And, usually,

if you are not good practitioner,

you want to give that boy
or that girl a punch,

to punish him or her.

And that is anger "in" us.

And that anger is a kind of mud

to smear everything.

So, we need to be aware that

we have to control that mud of anger

and do not let the mud
to smear us

and the other person.

So, you might like to breathe in,

calmly, mindfully,

and look at that boy or girl.

And, what do you see

in him or in her?

You see that
there is a violence in him.

There is anger,
suffering in him

or in her.

If that boy or girl is happy,

he or she would not have said something

mean like that.

He or she wouldn't have done
something violent like that.

But, he does not have the happiness
in him.

That is why he suffers.

And, when he suffers like that,

he wants to get his suffering out,

by saying something mean to you,

or doing something unkind to you.

And, he thinks that,
by doing so,

he will suffer less.

That is not very intelligent.

So, when you look
and you see that

that boy is unhappy,

there is anger
or violence in him,

and he does not know
how to handle

the violence in him,
the unhappiness in him,

that is why he suffers.

And, when he suffers like that,

it is natural that
he makes people

around him suffer like that.

So, when you see the anger
in him or in her,

and you understand

that anger...

you are no longer angry at him.

Poor little boy.
Poor little girl.

They suffer.

I don't want to punish him,

to make him suffer more.

I want to make him suffer less.

And, you smile to him. .

You say: "Dear friend,
I know that you suffer."

"I am not angry at you,"

"even if you have said something"

"like that to me."

"Even if you have done
something like that to me."

"Because you suffer a lot."

"So, I do not blame you."

"I am not angry at you."

"I am breathing in and out."

"I understand you."

"That is why
I am not angry at you."

"I do not suffer."

You are a good practitioner.

And, he will be amazed.

Other people will react differently.

They will hit him or tell him

something very mean.

But you are not doing that.

You are reacting
in a very different way;

with tenderness,
with loving kindness,

...smiles.

And, he will be amazed.

And, one day, he will ask you:

"How can you do that?!"

"When someone said something"

"very brutal, very mean,"

"and did something violent like that"

"and you can still keep your calm,"

"your peace."

"How?!"

And, then, you tell him,
you tell her

how you have come to Plum Village

and learn that kind
of mindful breathing,

and recognize the anger
in yourself,

and recognize anger in you

and in that person.

So, you come here
as a very young people,

and we learn these wonderful things.

And, you might be able
to share that

with your friends,

when you go back to school.

That is also a good question.

(Half bell)

(Bell)