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- Ooh!
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Why does he look like a Mumford & Son?
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No!
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Looks like your dad.
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Swipe right!
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- Oh, no, Tracy,
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if this is what dating is like,
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you needa buy me 30 cats,
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because I'm dying alone.
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- You are so ridiculous,
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they're not all bad,
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like, look, what about him?
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Look at that!
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I know, but look at his interests,
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he likes Star Wars.
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I'm not dating a nerd.
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- That just means he likes Star Wars,
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that doesn't make you a nerd.
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A lotta people like Star Wars.
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- I know, but he puts it as his interest,
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like, if you love a movie that much,
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it's a little overboard.
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- Really?
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What do you think about this?
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- (gasps) That's from my childhood.
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I'm very nostalgic.
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- That why you're wearing overalls?
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- Yes.
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Okay, how about this guy?
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He likes sports, he's a King's fan,
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he seems normal.
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- He seems great, swipe right.
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- Its a match!
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- Oh, you both die alone, probably.
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- Okay, I have to ask,
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you didn't have the beard
in your profile picture,
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when did you grow that?
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- I been growin' this puppy out ever since
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my King's made the playoffs,
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just for luck, ya know?
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- Okay.
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You have any other superstitions?
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- I wear the same pair of boxers I wore
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last time we won the Stanley Cup,
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and I don't shower.
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- Oh.
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- (gulping)
- Seriously?
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- (low belch) Let's get one more!
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- Okay, Sports was the best,
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how 'bout this guy?
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He likes art.
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He's an adult!
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- This red, white and blue penis
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represents the patriarchal American
oppression of other nations.
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- Is that that guy from that TV show?
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- I really like the Big Bang Theory.
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- Yikes.
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This guy seems normal.
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- I really wanted to list more
of my interests,
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but evidently, they have a rule against
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furries and big jugs.
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Like, I'm just really into furries
and big jugs.
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- Check, please.
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Okay, I'll try the Star Wars guy,
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I mean, how bad could he be?
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(harp flourish)
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(guttural moan)
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- Oh, I, nope.
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No.
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Oh, God, what have I gotten myself into?
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(light jazz)
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- Lisa, right?
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- Yeah.
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- I'm Tyler.
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- Hi.
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- Oh, God, I'm so sorry I'm late.
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- That's okay.
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But look, before we go any further,
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I feel like I need to tell you,
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I've never seen Star Wars before
and I feel really weird about it,
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so, I'm sorry?
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- This is about my profile, right?
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- Yeah.
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- Okay, ah,
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I like the movies but they do not
define me at all.
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- Okay.
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- You're an actress, right?
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- Ah, yes, and I also own
a children's theater.
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- No way,
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my mom's a high school drama teacher!
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- No way!
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- She's been doin' it forever,
like since I was a little kid.
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- Aw, that's so cute.
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(romantic music)
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- Wyatt is a very cute dog.
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- Thanks!
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Oh, gosh, it's almost five o'clock,
I totally lost track of time.
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I need to go to therapy to ah, pilates!
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I gotta go to pilates, so--
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- Do you want me to walk you to your car?
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- Yeah, that'd be nice.
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- Alright, cool. Ladies first.
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No, I don't think so,
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he was nursing that glass of wine also,
that whole time we were there.
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It's very strange.
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- Very sad. This is me.
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- Alright,
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well, we should totally do this again,
I had a great time.
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- I did too, I'd like that.
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- So, I'll call you?
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- Yeah.
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- Have a good night.
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- 'Kay, you too.
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(dramatic flourish)
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Shit! I'm in love with a Star Wars nerd!
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- Next time:
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This is Luke Skywalker.
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He's trained to become a Jedi master by?
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- Spock.
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- That's Star Trek.
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- Gandalf!
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- That's Lord of the Rings.
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- Neil Armstrong.
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- That's a real person.
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Did you graduate high school?
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