< Return to Video

Slimecicle makes Minecraft Parenting Hilarious

  • 0:00 - 0:04
    Something has gone terribly,
  • 0:04 - 0:06
    terribly,
  • 0:06 - 0:08
    terribly wrong.
  • 0:10 - 0:14
    My friends, mi amigos,
  • 0:14 - 0:17
    there is, cómo se dice,
  • 0:17 - 0:20
    a fucking problem.
  • 0:20 - 0:22
    What do you think?
    I just want to ask you.
  • 0:22 - 0:24
    What do you think the problem is?
  • 0:25 - 0:26
    What do you think the problem is?
  • 0:27 - 0:31
    It's a problem with my Minecraft
    daughter, Juanaflippa.
  • 0:31 - 0:32
    Go ahead.
    Guess.
  • 0:32 - 0:34
    Guess what the problem is.
  • 0:35 - 0:38
    "It died."
    No.
  • 0:38 - 0:41
    No, the problem is actually the opposite,
    weirdly enough.
  • 0:41 - 0:42
    Now, what would be the opposite
  • 0:42 - 0:45
    of if I had a dead kid?
  • 0:45 - 0:47
    What's the opposite of the problem there?
  • 0:47 - 0:48
    Tell me.
  • 0:48 - 0:50
    What's the opposite?
  • 0:54 - 0:56
    It hatched.
  • 0:57 - 0:59
    I mean, it might as well have,
  • 0:59 - 1:03
    because I'll tell you
    what the fucking problem is.
  • 1:06 - 1:10
    I log onto this server today, right?
  • 1:12 - 1:14
    I log onto this fucking server.
  • 1:15 - 1:18
    (Slime sighs aggravatedly)
  • 1:20 - 1:22
    Oh, can you guys hear?
    Is the sound working?
  • 1:22 - 1:25
    I don't think the sound's working.
    One sec.
  • 1:25 - 1:27
    All right.
  • 1:29 - 1:31
    Okay, you can hear it now?
    Great.
  • 1:31 - 1:33
    Great, great, great.
  • 1:33 - 1:36
    I log on to the server
  • 1:36 - 1:40
    where my daughter, Juanaflippa, lives.
  • 1:40 - 1:41
    And do you know what I do?
  • 1:41 - 1:44
    I say, "Well, I wasn't on yesterday,
  • 1:45 - 1:46
    but here's what I'll do,
  • 1:46 - 1:49
    is I'll check the tasks to see.
  • 1:49 - 1:52
    I'll check the task to see
    what Juanaflippa needs done today."
  • 1:53 - 1:57
    And I check the tasks,
    because I haven't seen Mariana live today.
  • 1:57 - 2:02
    And I check the tasks,
    and I checked these yesterday night too,
  • 2:03 - 2:05
    and they're all done.
  • 2:05 - 2:09
    They're all done.
  • 2:10 - 2:12
    Except I go to Twitch
  • 2:12 - 2:15
    and I look up ElMariana
  • 2:19 - 2:23
    and he's streamed,
    but he hasn't streamed Minecraft.
  • 2:23 - 2:24
    He hasn't streamed Minecraft.
  • 2:25 - 2:27
    He has not been on the QSMP.
  • 2:28 - 2:31
    Which begs the question:
  • 2:32 - 2:36
    who the fuck is taking care of our child?
  • 2:37 - 2:40
    Who is taking care of her?
  • 2:43 - 2:46
    Who?
    Because it hasn't been me.
  • 2:48 - 2:50
    It hasn't been me.
  • 2:50 - 2:52
    I'll tell you that fucking much.
  • 2:53 - 2:54
    All right?
  • 2:54 - 2:56
    I woke up in this closet.
  • 2:56 - 2:57
    I mean, might as well
    be like my fucking house-
  • 2:57 - 3:00
    My fucking house is on fire!
  • 3:00 - 3:02
    Jesus fucking Christ.
  • 3:03 - 3:07
    Jesus Christ.
    What is going on?
  • 3:07 - 3:09
    How long have I been gone?
  • 3:10 - 3:12
    What is that?
  • 3:13 - 3:15
    What the fuck is that?
  • 3:17 - 3:19
    Wh-?
  • 3:24 - 3:28
    A fucking tree grew into my house.
  • 3:28 - 3:30
    I was gone so long
    my house caught on fire
  • 3:30 - 3:32
    and a tree grew into it?
  • 3:34 - 3:36
    I thought I was just gone
    for two days.
  • 3:36 - 3:37
    Who's been-?
  • 3:37 - 3:38
    What's-?
  • 3:38 - 3:43
    I installed this little fake hidden bookcase
  • 3:43 - 3:46
    so that no one could reach Juanaflippa.
  • 3:49 - 3:51
    (Charlie screams)
  • 3:53 - 3:56
    Juanaflippa?
  • 3:59 - 4:01
    Juanaflippa, who the fuck
    has been taking care of you?
  • 4:01 - 4:04
    It says all of your tasks are done.
  • 4:05 - 4:06
    Did someone do all these things?
  • 4:07 - 4:09
    Or did someone just come in here
    and tick the box?
  • 4:10 - 4:12
    What does that say?
  • 4:13 - 4:15
    Feed?
  • 4:15 - 4:17
    Juanaflippa-
  • 4:17 - 4:21
    Juanaflippa, spin if someone has fed you.
  • 4:23 - 4:25
    No one's fed you?
  • 4:28 - 4:31
    Juanaflippa,
    if someone's fed you, do a flippa.
  • 4:36 - 4:38
    No one's fucking-
  • 4:38 - 4:40
    Oh my God.
  • 4:41 - 4:43
    Oh my God, I locked her up
    up and no one could-
  • 4:44 - 4:45
    These are just green.
    No one's-?
  • 4:46 - 4:48
    Juanaflippa, are you telling me
    that no one's taken care of you
  • 4:48 - 4:50
    for, like, two days?
  • 4:54 - 4:55
    Oh, Juana!
  • 4:55 - 4:57
    Juanaflippa, fuck!
  • 4:57 - 4:58
    Fuck, fuck,
    oh, shit!
  • 4:59 - 5:00
    Oh shit!
  • 5:00 - 5:02
    All right, Juanaflippa,
    we're gonna make it out of this.
  • 5:02 - 5:05
    All right, the first thing we gotta do
    is we gotta feed you a new food.
  • 5:05 - 5:06
    I'm so sorry.
  • 5:06 - 5:08
    Here's this.
  • 5:08 - 5:09
    Here's a hot meal to start you off.
  • 5:09 - 5:12
    Here's a hot meal,
    Juanaflippa.
  • 5:17 - 5:19
    Oh, fuck!
    Jesus Christ!
  • 5:19 - 5:20
    Juanaflippa,
    what are you doing?
  • 5:20 - 5:22
    I know you're upset.
  • 5:22 - 5:25
    I know you're upset,
    but now's not the time.
  • 5:25 - 5:27
    Okay,
    I've gotta have some food in here.
  • 5:30 - 5:31
    Oh, there's got to be something.
  • 5:31 - 5:33
    There's got to be something
    we can eat.
  • 5:34 - 5:39
    Juanaflippa,
    do you want an egg?
  • 5:39 - 5:40
    You don't?
  • 5:40 - 5:41
    Stop committing arson.
  • 5:41 - 5:43
    I shouldn't have given you those fires.
  • 5:43 - 5:45
    Hang onto that just in case.
  • 5:46 - 5:47
    Ow.
  • 5:47 - 5:50
    Okay, that's deserved.
  • 5:52 - 5:53
    Juannaflippa, we gotta get you some food.
  • 5:53 - 5:54
    Come with me.
  • 5:54 - 5:57
    I'm so sorry.
  • 5:57 - 6:00
    It said the tasks were done,
    Juanaflippa, they were green!
  • 6:00 - 6:02
    I came in and checked in on you last night.
  • 6:03 - 6:05
    And you were in bed.
  • 6:09 - 6:10
    I've gotta have some food in here, right?
  • 6:11 - 6:12
    I've got some-
  • 6:12 - 6:13
    Juanaflippa, you want some flint?
  • 6:13 - 6:15
    Or, like, a dead bush?
  • 6:15 - 6:17
    Or, like, a...
  • 6:17 - 6:20
    I know your diet's not the same as mine.
  • 6:20 - 6:22
    I've got some rabbit...
  • 6:22 - 6:24
    skin.
    I have rabbit s-
  • 6:24 - 6:26
    Here we go.
    Cooked mutton, Juanaflippa.
  • 6:28 - 6:29
    All right,
    don't accidentally click me with this,
  • 6:29 - 6:32
    because I will die.
    I'm also starving.
  • 6:32 - 6:33
    Do you want me to chew it first?
  • 6:33 - 6:35
    Here, I'll chew it first
    and I'll spit it into your mouth.
  • 6:41 - 6:42
    Only liquids, Juanaflippa.
  • 6:42 - 6:45
    I've accidentally renamed you to a.
  • 6:48 - 6:50
    Oh, fuck.
    I'm so sorry.
  • 6:52 - 6:53
    Where are you going?
  • 6:53 - 6:55
    Eat your food.
  • 6:55 - 6:58
    Don't be sad, Juanaflippa.
  • 6:58 - 7:00
    What?
    Did you go vegan?
  • 7:00 - 7:02
    Did you go vegan while I was gone?
  • 7:02 - 7:05
    Did you learn about animal cruelty?
  • 7:07 - 7:08
    You did?
  • 7:09 - 7:12
    Ah, fuck.
    This is gonna make things a lot more-
  • 7:12 - 7:15
    I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this,
    Juanaflippa.
  • 7:15 - 7:18
    I was hoping I wouldn't
    have to give you an ethical childhood,
  • 7:18 - 7:22
    but I see I have no choice.
  • 7:22 - 7:24
    Juanaflippa, have you ever had-?
  • 7:24 - 7:26
    Every time I look away, you die.
  • 7:26 - 7:28
    Have you ever had bread before,
    Juanaflippa?
  • 7:32 - 7:34
    Have you ever had bread?
  • 7:37 - 7:40
    Okay, jump if yes,
    and crouch if no, okay,
  • 7:40 - 7:42
    when I ask you these questions, Juan.
  • 7:42 - 7:43
    Juana.
  • 7:43 - 7:45
    All right, jump if you've had bread.
  • 7:49 - 7:54
    Okay.
    Jump if you've had...
  • 7:54 - 7:55
    Oh shit.
  • 7:55 - 7:58
    What other vegetables are there
    besides bread?
  • 8:00 - 8:02
    Jump if you've had fish.
  • 8:06 - 8:08
    You haven't had fish?
  • 8:08 - 8:10
    Okay.
  • 8:11 - 8:13
    Well, we could do pescatarian, right?
  • 8:13 - 8:15
    We could do pescatarian?
  • 8:16 - 8:17
    Pescatarian's good.
  • 8:19 - 8:22
    Okay, Juanaflippa,
    I'm really sorry.
  • 8:22 - 8:24
    I had no idea that all this was
    happening.
  • 8:24 - 8:27
    I would have come here sooner if I knew.
  • 8:27 - 8:29
    Oh shit.
  • 8:29 - 8:31
    I didn't realize
    when I checked in on my daughter last night
  • 8:31 - 8:34
    that she was withering away.
  • 8:34 - 8:35
    All right, Juanaflippa.
  • 8:36 - 8:38
    Here's the first lesson of the day.
  • 8:38 - 8:40
    I'm going to teach you how to hunt.
  • 8:41 - 8:43
    I'm going to teach you how to
    hunt for your own food.
  • 8:44 - 8:45
    Okay?
  • 8:45 - 8:47
    Now, try not to pull that back
    near Papa
  • 8:47 - 8:51
    because Papa's rocking
    three old hearts right now, okay?
  • 8:52 - 8:55
    Three little hearts,
    and it's not a lot for Papa.
  • 8:56 - 8:59
    I'm gonna eat that meat.
  • 8:59 - 9:00
    No! Jesus Christ!
  • 9:00 - 9:01
    All right, you gotta
    hang on to those, okay?
  • 9:01 - 9:04
    You gotta hang on-
    Oh my God!
  • 9:04 - 9:06
    Juanaf-
    you're a real ace with that, okay, but-
  • 9:06 - 9:08
    Oh my God!
    (panting)
  • 9:09 - 9:11
    Okay, you've got the "Hola" sign,
  • 9:11 - 9:12
    but Papa's gonna have the "Adios" sign
  • 9:12 - 9:15
    if you shoot that
    into his fucking cranium, okay?
  • 9:16 - 9:17
    All right,
    now take back your arrow.
  • 9:17 - 9:19
    You're gonna need this.
  • 9:19 - 9:20
    If you don't want that meat,
    can Papa have it?
  • 9:20 - 9:22
    I need to be strong.
  • 9:23 - 9:28
    I need my 180 grams of protein a day
    to stay big.
  • 9:32 - 9:35
    Is this-?
    Are we doing charades?
  • 9:38 - 9:41
    That's the closet I've been sleeping in,
    Juanaflippa.
  • 9:43 - 9:46
    (laughs)
    No, no, no!
  • 9:47 - 9:49
    Juanaflippa, can I have the meat?
  • 9:57 - 10:00
    Juanaflippa, I'm having a difficult time
    understanding what your needs are.
  • 10:05 - 10:09
    Juanaflippa, I need you
    to communicate with me, okay?
  • 10:16 - 10:17
    Give her a sign.
  • 10:21 - 10:24
    Okay, I think I have some signs
    I can give her.
  • 10:24 - 10:25
    All right, here's some signs.
  • 10:25 - 10:27
    Do you want to put some things on those?
  • 10:30 - 10:32
    Some other perhaps needs?
  • 10:32 - 10:35
    Can you write, Juanaflippa?
    Can you write on those?
  • 10:36 - 10:38
    You know,
    I snuck up here last night
  • 10:38 - 10:39
    and I added this picture of you and me
  • 10:39 - 10:43
    and I didn't realize that you were starving
    directly next to it.
  • 10:43 - 10:44
    Oh!
  • 10:46 - 10:48
    What?
  • 10:48 - 10:49
    You know-
  • 10:51 - 10:53
    Oh, fuck!
  • 10:53 - 10:55
    Ow, ow, Flippa!
  • 10:55 - 10:57
    Oh my God!
  • 10:57 - 10:59
    Oh my God, my head,
    my skull!
  • 11:00 - 11:02
    Juanaflippa, come back!
  • 11:03 - 11:06
    I have half a heart.
    Come back.
  • 11:06 - 11:08
    My daughter, I'm sorry.
  • 11:08 - 11:10
    I'm sorry.
  • 11:10 - 11:11
    I'm sorry.
  • 11:13 - 11:16
    I'm sorry, I thought that someone
    was taking care of you
  • 11:16 - 11:19
    and I realize now that I was wrong
  • 11:19 - 11:23
    and I shouldn't have trusted
    these babysitter reports
  • 11:23 - 11:25
    that said that you were taken care of.
  • 11:29 - 11:30
    All right, Juanaflippa.
  • 11:30 - 11:32
    I've got half a heart
  • 11:32 - 11:34
    because you shot me right between the eyes.
  • 11:34 - 11:37
    We're gonna go hunt, okay?
    We're gonna go hunt you some fish.
  • 11:37 - 11:39
    Now, I do need that meat back, okay,
  • 11:39 - 11:41
    so that Papa can have
    some more hearts,
  • 11:41 - 11:44
    because that's the only food we have
    in this house
  • 11:46 - 11:48
    because my bitch of a wife
    hasn't cooked-
  • 11:48 - 11:50
    Juanaflippa, get the fuck back here!
  • 11:50 - 11:54
    What are you doing?
    You're gonna get yourself killed!
  • 11:54 - 11:57
    (screams)
    Juanaflippa, help!
  • 11:57 - 12:00
    I broke my legs.
    Juanaflippa!
  • 12:01 - 12:04
    Flippa, help!
    Help!
  • 12:05 - 12:06
    Help!
  • 12:08 - 12:10
    Help!
  • 12:12 - 12:13
    Help!
  • 12:17 - 12:20
    I gotta crawl away.
  • 12:24 - 12:27
    Oh, this is a disaster.
  • 12:27 - 12:30
    Where's our child?
  • 12:31 - 12:34
    Flippa?
  • 12:34 - 12:36
    Can you hear me?
  • 12:36 - 12:39
    Flippa, Papa's bleeding out.
  • 12:40 - 12:42
    Flippa, Papa's sort of
    bleeding out right now.
  • 12:43 - 12:43
    Papa's bones are sticking out.
  • 12:44 - 12:46
    Can you come
    put Papa's bones back in?
  • 12:46 - 12:48
    Flippa?
  • 12:50 - 12:52
    Flippa,
    it would be great if you could-
  • 12:53 - 12:54
    Uh-oh.
  • 13:00 - 13:02
    Oh shit.
  • 13:03 - 13:04
    Okay.
  • 13:06 - 13:08
    That's good, I guess.
  • 13:08 - 13:10
    Flippa?
  • 13:15 - 13:17
    Where'd she go?
  • 13:21 - 13:22
    (trader mumbles)
  • 13:24 - 13:25
    Have you seen her?
  • 13:31 - 13:33
    Bomb.
  • 13:33 - 13:36
    Lamp oil? Rope? Bomb?
  • 13:36 - 13:38
    Juanaflippa?
  • 13:40 - 13:41
    Oh.
  • 13:41 - 13:43
    Hey, Flippa.
  • 13:44 - 13:46
    Hey.
  • 13:48 - 13:50
    I'm sorry.
  • 13:51 - 13:53
    I'm really sorry.
  • 13:53 - 13:55
    I know you're dead.
  • 13:56 - 14:01
    I know you want a new family
    because we're a bit unique
  • 14:01 - 14:03
    in how we function,
  • 14:05 - 14:10
    but we, both me and your mother,
  • 14:10 - 14:12
    neither of which have been here
    for the past few days,
  • 14:12 - 14:14
    love you very, very much.
  • 14:18 - 14:20
    Seeds.
  • 14:24 - 14:25
    Are you giving me back-?
  • 14:25 - 14:28
    You're giving me back
    the pictures we took?
  • 14:31 - 14:33
    No, these were a gift.
  • 14:33 - 14:34
    These were a gift to you, Flippa.
  • 14:34 - 14:37
    You gotta take those.
  • 14:42 - 14:44
    Fuck.
  • 14:48 - 14:50
    Okay, Flippa, you stay right there.
  • 14:50 - 14:53
    Can I have the bow?
    I'm gonna get you some food.
  • 15:01 - 15:03
    Flippa, is this for me?
  • 15:03 - 15:05
    I don't really know if I deserve this.
  • 15:05 - 15:07
    It is?
  • 15:07 - 15:10
    Why, Flippa?
    All I did was-
  • 15:12 - 15:14
    (gasps)
  • 15:14 - 15:17
    Okay.
    No more words.
  • 15:18 - 15:19
    Just flips.
  • 15:19 - 15:22
    Just flips!
  • 15:22 - 15:24
    Okay, Juanaflippa,
  • 15:24 - 15:25
    I'll redeem myself.
  • 15:25 - 15:27
    I'll redeem myself for you.
    Just you wait.
  • 15:27 - 15:29
    You stay right here.
  • 15:29 - 15:31
    I'm gonna bring you back food, okay?
  • 15:32 - 15:34
    Okay, you stay right here.
  • 15:37 - 15:37
    Don't worry.
  • 15:37 - 15:39
    You stay out of danger, okay?
  • 15:40 - 15:42
    I'm gonna get you some food.
  • 15:44 - 15:46
    I gotta make my daughter proud.
  • 15:49 - 15:54
    I didn't realize I was
    running a solo parenting act until now.
  • 15:58 - 16:01
    I'm like Pedral Pesto in The Last of Us.
  • 16:01 - 16:03
    Where's some fish?
  • 16:04 - 16:09
    Where's some fish?
    My daughter's hungry.
  • 16:09 - 16:14
    I can't believe my fucking bitch
    of a wife tricked me.
  • 16:21 - 16:24
    I can't believe I got fucking tricked
    into thinking that Juanaflippa
  • 16:24 - 16:26
    was being taken care of.
  • 16:27 - 16:28
    Shit!
  • 16:29 - 16:31
    Oh God, this means
    she's down a life, probably.
  • 16:33 - 16:35
    Oh my God.
  • 16:39 - 16:40
    Guys, I don't usually say this,
  • 16:40 - 16:43
    but I think I might
    have been a bad parent.
  • 16:45 - 16:47
    There's got to be some food
    around here somewhere.
  • 16:52 - 16:55
    Maybe I can, like, fish?
    Hang on.
  • 16:55 - 16:56
    Do I have stick and string?
  • 16:56 - 16:58
    I don't have enough string.
  • 17:02 - 17:04
    Oh, shit.
  • 17:05 - 17:06
    Oh God,
    I have to be really careful here.
  • 17:07 - 17:08
    Hang on.
  • 17:13 - 17:17
    Oh, she's completely fucking vegan.
  • 17:17 - 17:20
    Is pescatarian okay?
  • 17:20 - 17:23
    Oh God, what's a vegan food?
  • 17:24 - 17:25
    What farm?
  • 17:25 - 17:26
    Is there a farm?
  • 17:26 - 17:28
    Okay, maybe apples?
    That's a good idea.
  • 17:30 - 17:32
    I don't have any food myself.
  • 17:32 - 17:33
    I have fucking one heart!
  • 17:33 - 17:36
    Oh God!
  • 17:37 - 17:39
    Flippa, I never had parents either.
  • 17:39 - 17:42
    Does it show, Flippa?
  • 17:46 - 17:48
    (screams)
  • 17:48 - 17:51
    I'm not fast enough.
  • 17:52 - 17:53
    (screams)
  • 17:54 - 17:58
    Flippa!
    Daughter, help!
  • 17:58 - 18:01
    Daughter, it's time to learn to hunt!
  • 18:01 - 18:03
    Hunt, daughter, please!
  • 18:04 - 18:06
    (panting)
  • 18:07 - 18:09
    All right, Flippa.
  • 18:09 - 18:12
    All I've managed to get so far
    is this rotten flesh,
  • 18:12 - 18:13
    but I'm gonna get you something better, okay?
  • 18:13 - 18:14
    I know you're a vegan
  • 18:14 - 18:16
    and this barely counts
    as meat anyway,
  • 18:16 - 18:19
    so Papa's just
    gonna stay strong.
  • 18:23 - 18:25
    Okay, I'm gonna-
    (coughs)
  • 18:25 - 18:28
    get you some veggies, okay?
  • 18:35 - 18:37
    Oh shit, fuck!
  • 18:38 - 18:41
    Flippa, shoot it!
    Shoot it, Flippa!
  • 18:41 - 18:45
    Pull back the string
    and then fire it!
  • 18:46 - 18:48
    Good job, Flippa.
  • 18:48 - 18:51
    Unassisted kill.
    I'm proud of you.
  • 18:52 - 18:54
    (laughs) Hola.
  • 18:54 - 18:55
    Uh...
  • 18:56 - 18:57
    Sorry.
  • 18:57 - 18:59
    Flippa?
  • 19:00 - 19:02
    Flippa, earmuffs on.
  • 19:03 - 19:04
    Flippa, earmuffs on real quick.
  • 19:04 - 19:06
    Can you just put earmuffs on?
  • 19:12 - 19:15
    Was that Satan?
  • 19:17 - 19:20
    Okay, Flippa, you can take your
    earmuffs off.
  • 19:22 - 19:25
    Flippa, I think I've been a bad parent
  • 19:25 - 19:27
    because I'm seeing the devil.
  • 19:28 - 19:30
    I'm seeing the devil everywhere I go.
  • 19:31 - 19:33
    And for once, I don't mean your mother.
  • 19:38 - 19:39
    Shit, where's-?
  • 19:39 - 19:40
    (screams)
  • 19:40 - 19:43
    Satan, begone!
  • 19:44 - 19:46
    - [Rubius] Hello, my friend!
  • 19:46 - 19:48
    ¡Hola, mi amigo!
    - [Slime] Hi.
  • 19:48 - 19:50
    Hola, Satán.
  • 19:50 - 19:53
    - [Rubius] Hola.
    - [Slime] Hola, devil de infierno.
  • 19:53 - 19:56
    Why are you here?
    Why are you attacking me, Satan?
  • 19:56 - 19:59
    Why are you attacking me with creepers?
    - [Rubius] [I'm not attacking you.
  • 19:59 - 20:03
    Can you understand what I'm saying?
    Does the text show up over my head?]
  • 20:05 - 20:07
    - [Slime] Yes it does, Satan.
  • 20:07 - 20:10
    - [Rubius] [Oh, good.]
    - [Slime] Your demonic conversion
  • 20:10 - 20:12
    is working well.
  • 20:12 - 20:15
    - [Rubius] Nice. Me gusta.
  • 20:15 - 20:17
    I can talk to you in English
    if you prefer.
  • 20:18 - 20:21
    - [Slime] What do you think is more evil?
  • 20:22 - 20:25
    - [Rubius] Spanish is more evil.
    - [Slime] ¡Español mal!
  • 20:25 - 20:28
    - [Rubius] Español es mucho más diabólico.
  • 20:28 - 20:30
    - [Slime] Okay, español de diablo. Sí.
  • 20:31 - 20:35
    - [Rubius] [Slime, I want you
    to tell me something.]
  • 20:36 - 20:37
    - [Slime] "Because the one I want you to-"
  • 20:37 - 20:39
    Yeah, what's up?
  • 20:40 - 20:41
    What's wrong?
  • 20:42 - 20:46
    - [Rubius] [I want you to tell me
    someone who's done something good for you
  • 20:46 - 20:49
    and someone who's done
    something bad to you.]
  • 20:52 - 20:54
    - [Slime] Oh, okay.
  • 20:54 - 20:56
    Someone who did something bad to me?
  • 20:56 - 20:58
    - [Rubius] Yes.
  • 20:58 - 20:59
    And someone that did
    something good to you.
  • 20:59 - 21:01
    - [Slime] Okay.
  • 21:02 - 21:06
    I'll tell you who did something bad
    to me, Satan.
  • 21:07 - 21:11
    - [Rubius] Who?
    - [Slime] My fucking bitch of a wife, El Mariana,
  • 21:11 - 21:15
    who has not been here for our daughter!
  • 21:15 - 21:18
    - [Rubius] Oh no.
    Hey, wait.
  • 21:18 - 21:20
    You were with Mariana
    the other day we met.
  • 21:20 - 21:21
    Oh, no.
    I didn't meet you.
  • 21:22 - 21:25
    - [Slime] No, you're thinking of Little Jesus.
  • 21:25 - 21:26
    - [Rubius] Lil' Jesus? Who is that?
  • 21:26 - 21:28
    ¿Quién es Lil' Jesus?
  • 21:29 - 21:31
    - [Slime] Well, you've heard of Jesus, right?
  • 21:31 - 21:33
    - [Rubius] Yes.
    - [Slime] Yeah, he's, like,
  • 21:33 - 21:36
    a littler version of that, sort of.
  • 21:37 - 21:41
    - [Rubius] Wait, how do I get
    the translator on?
  • 21:43 - 21:46
    - [Slime] Go ahead-
    - [Rubius] Because I don't understand your language
  • 21:46 - 21:49
    because I'm from Hell.
    - [Slime] Yeah, because you're from Hell,
  • 21:49 - 21:51
    where everyone speaks Spanish
  • 21:51 - 21:54
    and there's a yellow filter
    like Breaking Bad.
  • 21:54 - 21:57
    So just go ahead and hit-
  • 21:57 - 21:59
    Okay, tell you what.
  • 21:59 - 22:01
    I'll tell you-
  • 22:01 - 22:04
    I'll make a deal with you, Satan.
  • 22:04 - 22:06
    I'll tell you where the button is
  • 22:06 - 22:10
    if you can give me one dark blessing.
  • 22:11 - 22:12
    - [Rubius] No.
  • 22:12 - 22:14
    - [Slime] Ow! Ow!
    What the fuck?
  • 22:14 - 22:16
    Flippa, run!
  • 22:16 - 22:19
    It's fucking snakes from Hell!
  • 22:19 - 22:20
    Holy shit!
  • 22:20 - 22:23
    - [Rubius] [That's not how I do things.
  • 22:24 - 22:28
    I'm the one who makes the deals, not you.
    - [Slime] No, no!
  • 22:29 - 22:30
    - [Rubius] And now, I'm going to kill your egg.]
  • 22:30 - 22:33
    - [Slime] You need me, Satan.
  • 22:33 - 22:36
    - [Rubius] [Your egg needs to rescue you.]
    - [Slime] You need me.
  • 22:36 - 22:39
    Flippa, bring me back.
  • 22:39 - 22:40
    Satan, stop!
  • 22:40 - 22:43
    Leave Flippa out of this, Satan!
  • 22:44 - 22:46
    Fuck! Shit!
  • 22:47 - 22:50
    Why do you have so many fucking snakes?
  • 22:50 - 22:53
    Why do you just carry around snakes?
  • 22:55 - 22:58
    Flippa, Papa fell.
    - [Rubius] Now I see.
  • 22:58 - 22:59
    - [Slime] It's period.
  • 22:59 - 23:02
    The fucking button is period.
  • 23:02 - 23:04
    Satan, you're a dick.
  • 23:04 - 23:06
    You're a fucking cock, Satan.
  • 23:06 - 23:10
    Jesus is way cooler than you.
    - [Rubius] [What?]
  • 23:10 - 23:13
    No, no, no.
  • 23:13 - 23:17
    Wait a minute, I found it.
    - [Slime] Yes, he's way cooler.
  • 23:20 - 23:22
    - [Rubius] Okay, speak.
  • 23:22 - 23:23
    - [Slime] Okay. Whew.
  • 23:23 - 23:26
    All right, I'm back up.
  • 23:26 - 23:28
    No thanks to you.
  • 23:28 - 23:29
    - [Rubius] "Vale, está bien,
    he vuelto a levantarme, no gracias a ti."
  • 23:30 - 23:32
    [Oh! This is incredible!
  • 23:32 - 23:35
    Quackity's done it again!]
  • 23:37 - 23:39
    - [Slime] What? Done what?
  • 23:40 - 23:41
    - [Rubius] [Nothing, nothing.
  • 23:42 - 23:45
    Okay.
    Your egg is hungry.]
  • 23:47 - 23:48
    - [Slime] Yeah, I know he's hungry.
  • 23:48 - 23:50
    He's a vegetarian, Satan.
  • 23:50 - 23:52
    Do you have any vegetables?
  • 23:52 - 23:56
    From the garden of Hell?
    - [Rubius] If you want...
  • 23:57 - 23:59
    [Okay, I don't know why
    I'm talking to you in English.]
  • 23:59 - 24:01
    Sorry.
  • 24:02 - 24:04
    [If you want me to feed your egg
  • 24:04 - 24:10
    and give it unlimited life
  • 24:10 - 24:13
    you'll have to do something for me.]
  • 24:15 - 24:18
    - [Slime] Well, my egg's very hungry, so...
  • 24:18 - 24:20
    I mean, I already did a favor
    for Little Jesus,
  • 24:21 - 24:23
    so I figure if I do a favor
    for Little Satan,
  • 24:23 - 24:25
    it'll probably be all-
    It'll even out.
  • 24:25 - 24:27
    Sure!
  • 24:29 - 24:30
    And it can't have nuts in it.
  • 24:30 - 24:33
    As long as it doesn't have nuts in it, okay?
  • 24:35 - 24:37
    - [Rubius] "Siempre y cuando
    no tenga frutos secos ¿de acuerdo?"
  • 24:37 - 24:40
    [Okay, perfect.
    Okay.
  • 24:42 - 24:45
    What about the other thing
    you asked me for?
  • 24:45 - 24:49
    You asked me for something else.
    Something dark.]
  • 24:50 - 24:52
    - [Slime] Oh yeah.
  • 24:54 - 24:56
    A dark boon.
  • 24:56 - 24:58
    - [Rubius] Oh, sí.
    - [Slime] Sí, sí.
  • 24:58 - 25:02
    A deal.
    - [Rubius] [Tell me.]
  • 25:03 - 25:06
    - [Slime] A dark power.
  • 25:07 - 25:11
    - [Rubius] [I can give you
    immense dark power.
  • 25:11 - 25:13
    But what kind of power do you want?]
    - [Slime] I want to raise my daughter right,
  • 25:13 - 25:18
    but I also want to
    shoot fire out of my eyes, Satan.
  • 25:18 - 25:19
    - [Rubius] [I can't do that.
  • 25:19 - 25:22
    You have to ask for something
    more realistic.]
  • 25:23 - 25:25
    - [Slime] Okay.
  • 25:26 - 25:29
    Can I shoot fire out of my...
  • 25:31 - 25:34
    - [Rubius] [From your what?]
    - [Slime] another orifice?
  • 25:35 - 25:39
    My hands or ass.
  • 25:39 - 25:43
    - [Rubius] [You want to shoot lasers
    from your ass?]
  • 25:45 - 25:47
    - [Slime] (laughs)
    Yeah, I wanna-
  • 25:47 - 25:51
    Satan, I wanna make a deal
    and launch fire out of my a-
  • 25:51 - 25:54
    Satan, can I have a gun?
    (Rubius laughs demonically)
  • 25:54 - 25:56
    Oh?
  • 25:56 - 25:59
    - [Rubius] [What? Sorry.
    Tell me.]
  • 26:00 - 26:02
    - [Slime] Okay, well, Satan, should I-?
  • 26:02 - 26:04
    I could ask for
    shooting fire out of my ass,
  • 26:04 - 26:06
    but I could also ask for-
  • 26:07 - 26:11
    The voices in my head are telling me
    to ask for a gun.
  • 26:11 - 26:15
    - [Rubius] ["The voices in my head-"
    Oh, you're schizophrenic.
  • 26:15 - 26:16
    Interesting.
  • 26:16 - 26:20
    I can help you with that.]
  • 26:20 - 26:22
    - [Slime] Yeah, there's, like, thousands of them.
  • 26:24 - 26:26
    - [Rubius] [All right. Cool.]
  • 26:26 - 26:29
    - [Slime] I just want something
    that no one else has, Satan.
  • 26:29 - 26:33
    That'll put me a step above
    the other parents.
  • 26:33 - 26:36
    - [Rubius] [Okay.
    Let me think about it for a second.
  • 26:36 - 26:38
    Be right back.]
  • 26:39 - 26:41
    - [Slime] Okay, Satan, you're coming.
  • 26:41 - 26:43
    All right, that's a bit-
  • 26:44 - 26:49
    - [Rubius] Estoy cumming.
    - [Slime] Semen. El semen.
  • 26:52 - 26:55
    Okay, he's hiding behind a tree.
  • 26:55 - 26:57
    I know you're hungry.
  • 26:57 - 26:59
    I know you're hungry, Flippa,
  • 26:59 - 27:02
    but Daddy's making a deal with Satan
    right now, okay?
  • 27:02 - 27:04
    I know you're hungry.
  • 27:04 - 27:05
    I'm just making a little deal with Satan
  • 27:05 - 27:07
    to make sure you get all the food you need.
  • 27:09 - 27:09
    Okay?
  • 27:09 - 27:11
    Yeah, no, it's good.
  • 27:11 - 27:14
    This is a very good man
  • 27:14 - 27:16
    that Daddy's making a deal with, okay?
  • 27:16 - 27:18
    Yes, yes.
  • 27:22 - 27:25
    We're gonna see if we can
    get you some food.
  • 27:28 - 27:29
    Okay.
    There used to be
  • 27:29 - 27:32
    a farm over here, Flippa.
  • 27:34 - 27:34
    Oh, shit.
  • 27:34 - 27:36
    (gasps)
    Flippa!
  • 27:39 - 27:41
    That was incredible!
  • 27:42 - 27:44
    That was incredible, Flippa!
  • 27:46 - 27:48
    Flippa!
  • 27:49 - 27:51
    You just saved my life!
  • 27:51 - 27:53
    Holy shit!
  • 27:55 - 27:58
    Flippa, you're a natural!
  • 27:58 - 28:01
    Okay, here,
    here's some more arrows for you.
  • 28:02 - 28:04
    Here's some bones.
  • 28:05 - 28:06
    I'll feed you.
    You've earned it.
  • 28:06 - 28:07
    You've earned it more.
  • 28:08 - 28:10
    All right, Flippa, let's go this way.
  • 28:12 - 28:14
    I think there's
    some bread over here, Fli-
  • 28:14 - 28:16
    Wait.
  • 28:21 - 28:24
    Oh, that's perfect.
  • 28:24 - 28:26
    That's perfecto.
  • 28:32 - 28:34
    Here you go, Flippa.
  • 28:35 - 28:36
    We break the bread.
  • 28:36 - 28:40
    Hey, don't let Little Satan
    see us breaking this bread, okay?
  • 28:40 - 28:42
    I don't think he's a big fan
    of that shit.
  • 28:43 - 28:45
    You're still hungry?
  • 28:46 - 28:48
    Oh God.
    Okay.
  • 28:50 - 28:53
    All right, let's look for some more.
  • 29:03 - 29:08
    I'm starting to feel like I shouldn't have
    asked Satan for a dark bargain.
  • 29:09 - 29:11
    It's probably fine, but...
  • 29:14 - 29:17
    Any apples in here?
  • 29:18 - 29:20
    Any apples?
  • 29:22 - 29:25
    Oh, use the bones for bone meal.
    That's a good idea.
  • 29:27 - 29:30
    Flippa, could I have those bones?
  • 29:37 - 29:40
    Yeah?
    Can I have those bones from earlier?
  • 29:44 - 29:45
    Yeah!
  • 29:46 - 29:49
    I just need some bones, Flippa.
  • 29:50 - 29:52
    Okay, it's okay if you want to
    hang onto them.
  • 29:52 - 29:53
    All right.
  • 29:53 - 29:55
    Thank you, Flippa.
  • 29:56 - 29:58
    Okay, come with me.
    I'll get you some more.
  • 30:08 - 30:10
    I wonder what Satan's up to over there.
  • 30:19 - 30:22
    Probably weird dark shit, huh?
  • 30:27 - 30:30
    Sorry for swearing, Flippa.
    I was just thinking about the devil.
  • 30:30 - 30:31
    You know how it goes.
  • 30:38 - 30:40
    Flippa, I'm so sorry you didn't get fed.
  • 30:40 - 30:42
    Oh, Flippa's prone.
  • 30:43 - 30:44
    There you go.
  • 30:47 - 30:49
    Tell me if that's good, Flippa.
    I'll keep getting you more.
  • 31:02 - 31:04
    You want some more?
  • 31:05 - 31:05
    Yes?
  • 31:05 - 31:07
    Here you go.
  • 31:08 - 31:10
    There you go.
  • 31:13 - 31:16
    Yay! Juanaflippa!
  • 31:16 - 31:18
    Whoo!
  • 31:19 - 31:21
    ¡El pan!
  • 31:21 - 31:24
    All right, Juanaflippa.
    Hell yes.
  • 31:24 - 31:26
    Once we strike this dark bargain
    with the devil,
  • 31:26 - 31:29
    we'll never have to do that again.
  • 31:33 - 31:33
    Okay.
  • 31:34 - 31:35
    Oh, I should have asked him
  • 31:35 - 31:37
    how to do a double backflip.
  • 31:37 - 31:40
    I should have asked him how to do
    six backflips at once.
  • 31:40 - 31:42
    (gasps)
  • 31:42 - 31:44
    Good shot, Juanaflippa.
  • 31:44 - 31:46
    Yeah, Juanaflippa!
  • 31:46 - 31:48
    That's my fucking daughter, you bitch!
  • 31:48 - 31:50
    That's my fucking huevo!
  • 31:50 - 31:53
    Yeah! Whoo!
  • 31:53 - 31:55
    Juanaflippa, are-
  • 31:55 - 31:57
    Okay, the cherry on top.
  • 31:57 - 31:59
    Juanaflippa,
    I think you've earned some more.
  • 31:59 - 32:01
    I think you've earned some more bread.
  • 32:03 - 32:05
    Oh my God.
  • 32:06 - 32:08
    Wait, what is that?
  • 32:08 - 32:09
    It's just flour?
  • 32:09 - 32:12
    Okay, here you go.
    Here's some more bread.
  • 32:12 - 32:15
    ¡El pan!
    El pan para Juanaflippa.
  • 32:17 - 32:19
    Is that a new food for you,
    Juanaflippa?
  • 32:19 - 32:22
    Have you had bread before?
  • 32:27 - 32:29
    No?
    It's a new food?
  • 32:31 - 32:34
    Yay!
    Okay, that's good!
  • 32:34 - 32:36
    That's good.
    That means we fed a baby a new food.
  • 32:36 - 32:38
    That's great.
  • 32:38 - 32:39
    Now we need to take the-
  • 32:40 - 32:42
    we need to take you on an adventure.
    Juanaflippa.
  • 32:42 - 32:47
    And I have just the fucking thing.
  • 32:47 - 32:49
    Juanaflippa,
  • 32:49 - 32:52
    it's time for the training wheels
    to come off.
  • 32:52 - 32:55
    Yes, Juanaflippa, yes!
  • 32:55 - 32:57
    Juanaflippa, today,
  • 32:57 - 32:59
    Papa's gonna teach you
  • 33:00 - 33:02
    how to ride a bike.
  • 33:05 - 33:06
    All right, so here's how you do it.
  • 33:06 - 33:08
    Here's how you do it, Juanaflippa.
  • 33:08 - 33:10
    You just hop on like this.
  • 33:11 - 33:13
    Get some speed going.
  • 33:13 - 33:15
    Get some speed going,
    ramp it, jump it,
  • 33:15 - 33:19
    trick it, 360, 720, 720,
  • 33:19 - 33:21
    backflip on the bike.
  • 33:21 - 33:22
    I'm crazy.
  • 33:22 - 33:22
    I'm going stupid.
  • 33:22 - 33:24
    I'm going nuts.
  • 33:25 - 33:27
    Grind it, grind the rail.
  • 33:29 - 33:30
    Curve the edge, grind the rail,
  • 33:30 - 33:33
    swerve it, clip back,
  • 33:33 - 33:36
    glitch out,
    trick it.
  • 33:37 - 33:38
    Here we go.
    Ride up the post.
  • 33:38 - 33:41
    Ride the post.
    Tony Hawk.
  • 33:41 - 33:43
    Tony Hawk.
  • 33:44 - 33:46
    I'm stuck.
  • 33:46 - 33:48
    Clutch out.
  • 33:50 - 33:52
    Through the building.
  • 33:52 - 33:55
    Clip into the wall.
    Break your bones.
  • 33:55 - 33:59
    Up the hay.
  • 33:59 - 34:01
    Up the hay.
    Bail.
  • 34:02 - 34:04
    Backflip.
  • 34:05 - 34:07
    (gasps)
    That's right, Juanaflippa!
  • 34:07 - 34:09
    Now all you have to do is-
  • 34:09 - 34:11
    Yeah, you're doing it!
  • 34:11 - 34:12
    Do you need a little push?
  • 34:14 - 34:15
    Let's do a little push.
  • 34:15 - 34:17
    Yay!
  • 34:21 - 34:23
    That was great, Juanaflippa!
  • 34:23 - 34:25
    Okay, tell you what.
  • 34:25 - 34:27
    I'll give you a treat.
  • 34:27 - 34:29
    I'll give you a treat
    if you can ride this bad boy
  • 34:29 - 34:31
    all the way home.
  • 34:34 - 34:35
    Uh-oh.
  • 34:36 - 34:38
    Be gone, servants of Satan!
  • 34:38 - 34:41
    Sorry, that's El Devil.
    - [Rubius] ¡Amigo!
  • 34:42 - 34:44
    - [Slime] Oh, Amigo!
  • 34:44 - 34:48
    - [Rubius] [Dude,
    I've found something in the slums.]
  • 34:51 - 34:54
    - [Slime] "The best found hello in the slums?"
    - [Rubius] Sorry, sorry.
  • 34:54 - 34:57
    This is wrong.
    - [Slime] What did you just say about my daughter?
  • 34:57 - 35:01
    - [Rubius] No, no, wait.
    - [Slime] How dare you, Satan.
  • 35:02 - 35:06
    - [Rubius] [I've found something
    that your daughter might like.
  • 35:06 - 35:08
    She looks like she's going to like it.]
  • 35:10 - 35:13
    - [Slime] Oh, this makes me very happy, Satan.
  • 35:14 - 35:16
    - [Rubius] [Good, good.
    But you'll have to do something.
  • 35:16 - 35:19
    Something very evil.
    Something horrible.]
  • 35:20 - 35:21
    - [Slime] Yeah, that's cool.
    Sure.
  • 35:21 - 35:23
    What is it?
  • 35:25 - 35:28
    - [Rubius] [You have to kill...
  • 35:28 - 35:30
    someone else's egg.
  • 35:30 - 35:32
    Whichever one you choose.]
  • 35:34 - 35:36
    - [Slime] Oh.
    Okay, sure.
  • 35:36 - 35:38
    Second time's the charm. I guess.
  • 35:38 - 35:39
    Yeah. Okay. Sure.
  • 35:39 - 35:42
    - [Rubius] [You've already
    done it once, right?]
  • 35:45 - 35:47
    - [Slime] Yeah, no, I've-
  • 35:47 - 35:50
    We've definitely never-
    Yeah, that's nev-
  • 35:50 - 35:52
    No, we've never done that before.
    No, no, no.
  • 35:52 - 35:54
    - [Rubius] [Oh, you've never done it.
    Alright, perfect.
  • 35:54 - 35:59
    What I'm going to give
    you and your daughter
  • 35:59 - 36:01
    is something very powerful,
  • 36:02 - 36:04
    but you'll need to be careful,
    because if not,
  • 36:04 - 36:06
    you may end up leaving this world.]
  • 36:09 - 36:11
    - [Slime] Okay.
  • 36:11 - 36:13
    I'm gonna be very careful with it, Satan.
    - [Rubius] [This is it.]
  • 36:13 - 36:15
    - [Slime] Holy shit, okay.
    All right.
  • 36:15 - 36:16
    (gunshot)
    (Slime screams)
  • 36:16 - 36:17
    Flippa, put your hands up!
  • 36:17 - 36:19
    Flippa, run!
    - [Rubius] [As you can see, it's very powerful!]
  • 36:20 - 36:21
    - [Slime] Flippa, throw the wallet
    at him and run!
  • 36:21 - 36:25
    - [Rubius] [You have to be careful!]
    - [Slime] Throw the wallet at him and run!
  • 36:26 - 36:29
    Oh my God.
    Ow.
  • 36:29 - 36:30
    - [Rubius] Yes.
  • 36:30 - 36:32
    - [Slime] I like that.
    - [Rubius] [I'll give it to you
  • 36:32 - 36:34
    with just ten bullets.
  • 36:36 - 36:40
    But you can keep the gun forever,
    and you'll find out how to get bullets.]
  • 36:40 - 36:42
    - [Slime] That's fair.
  • 36:42 - 36:46
    I'm going to prove to my daughter
    that I'm a good papa
  • 36:46 - 36:49
    by giving her a loaded gun.
  • 36:50 - 36:52
    - [Rubius] [Of course.
    You are.]
  • 36:52 - 36:54
    - [Slime] Thank you, Satan.
  • 36:54 - 36:58
    - [Rubius] [Okay, if you don't do it
    in fifteen minutes,
  • 36:58 - 37:01
    killing someone else's egg,
  • 37:02 - 37:04
    I'll kill your daughter
    right in front of you.
  • 37:04 - 37:08
    You have 15 minutes,
    starting now.]
  • 37:08 - 37:09
    Oh my god!
    Oh shit!
  • 37:09 - 37:11
    Flippa, we gotta go!
  • 37:13 - 37:15
    Oh, fuck, Flippa!
    We have 15 minutes!
  • 37:15 - 37:18
    I'm not losing you again, Flippa.
  • 37:20 - 37:24
    Who would have thought?
    That Satan guy's a little shady, huh?
  • 37:25 - 37:27
    I'm sorry, Flippa,
    I just gotta-
  • 37:27 - 37:28
    I just gotta bake some bread
    real quick.
  • 37:28 - 37:31
    So Papa's got all the hardiness he needs
  • 37:31 - 37:34
    to kill someone else's child.
  • 37:35 - 37:37
    You can't tell your mother about this, okay?
  • 37:37 - 37:39
    You can't tell your mother
    that I joined the mafia
  • 37:39 - 37:42
    and then killed someone else's son.
  • 37:42 - 37:44
    All right, Flippa.
  • 37:44 - 37:45
    The other quest today
  • 37:45 - 37:50
    was to go on a new adventure, okay?
  • 37:50 - 37:52
    And now, our new adventure
    is a little special one
  • 37:52 - 37:55
    that Satan gave us.
  • 37:56 - 38:01
    We're gonna go put
    Phil's kid to supersleep, okay?
  • 38:01 - 38:03
    We're gonna put him to sleep.
  • 38:05 - 38:08
    We're gonna put him in a really deep slumber.
  • 38:10 - 38:13
    It's okay, Phil is a great father.
  • 38:13 - 38:16
    If anything, this will teach him
    that life is precious.
  • 38:16 - 38:19
    This is probably what's best for him.
  • 38:23 - 38:25
    Okay, we taught Flippa how to hunt,
  • 38:25 - 38:30
    and every good hunter needs some prey.
  • 38:34 - 38:36
    Oh, I'm harvesting this shit.
  • 38:39 - 38:41
    Okay, up this way, Flippa.
  • 38:41 - 38:43
    Take all the stuff you want
    if you want it.
  • 38:48 - 38:50
    Okay, here we go.
  • 38:50 - 38:52
    All right, Flippa,
    do you have blocks?
  • 38:53 - 38:57
    Flippa, we're gonna have to
    teach you how to bridge.
  • 38:58 - 39:00
    So here's what we're gonna do, Flippa.
  • 39:02 - 39:05
    You're gonna come out here,
    stand next to Papa.
  • 39:05 - 39:09
    You're gonna jump and place those blocks, okay?
  • 39:10 - 39:13
    And I already know you can water bucket.
  • 39:13 - 39:15
    Oh fuck, Philza just logged on.
  • 39:21 - 39:24
    Oh, this is really bad.
  • 39:25 - 39:28
    Go!
    Flippa, go!
  • 39:28 - 39:30
    Go, go, go!
    Flippa, go!
  • 39:33 - 39:35
    We have to be so fast!
  • 39:37 - 39:38
    - [Phil] Oh, hey, Charlie.
  • 39:39 - 39:41
    - [Slime] Hey, Phil.
    - [Phil] Can you hear me?
  • 39:41 - 39:42
    Oh, there we go.
  • 39:42 - 39:44
    - [Slime] Yeah, wait, sorry,
    did you say something?
  • 39:44 - 39:46
    I can't hear you for some reason.
  • 39:46 - 39:51
    - [Phil] Hello?
    - [Slime] Hello?
  • 39:51 - 39:53
    Can you hear me, Phil?
  • 39:53 - 39:55
    - [Phil] Yeah.
  • 39:55 - 39:57
    - [Slime] You're glitching out.
  • 39:57 - 40:00
    It's just, like, choppy
    for some reason.
  • 40:06 - 40:09
    I got this issue earlier.
    You might have to re-log.
  • 40:26 - 40:27
    Phil, can you hear me?
  • 40:28 - 40:31
    - [Phil] Yeah.
    - [Slime] Can you hear me?
  • 40:34 - 40:35
    Hello?
  • 40:38 - 40:40
    - [Phil] Hello?
    - [Slime] Hey.
  • 40:40 - 40:43
    I think I can hear you now.
    Is it working?
  • 40:43 - 40:45
    - [Phil] Yeah.
    - [Slime] Oh, sweet.
  • 40:45 - 40:47
    How's it going, man?
  • 40:48 - 40:50
    - [Phil] Good.
    Where's, uh...
  • 40:50 - 40:52
    where's my egg?
  • 40:52 - 40:55
    - [Slime] What?
    - [Phil] Where's my egg?
  • 40:55 - 40:56
    - [Slime] I was just
    teaching Flippa
  • 40:56 - 40:59
    how to bridge up here.
  • 41:04 - 41:08
    - [Phil] Charlie?
    - [Slime] Yes, Phil?
  • 41:09 - 41:12
    - [Phil] Where is Chayanne?
  • 41:12 - 41:15
    - [Slime] Maybe your wife took her out
  • 41:17 - 41:20
    for the day.
    - [Phil] He was right behind you
  • 41:22 - 41:24
    - [Slime] I don't-
    - [Phil] when I logged in.
  • 41:24 - 41:25
    - [Slime] Yeah, but you were-
  • 41:25 - 41:28
    what, when you were glitching out?
  • 41:36 - 41:39
    - [Phil] Charlie, tell me what you did.
    - [Slime] Flippa.
  • 41:39 - 41:41
    I need you to take this paraglider
  • 41:43 - 41:45
    and I need you to fly.
    - [Phil] Charlie...
  • 41:45 - 41:49
    - [Slime] I need you to fly far away.
    - [Phil] Charlie, I can literally hear you.
  • 41:49 - 41:51
    Charlie, I can literally hear
    what you're saying.
  • 41:51 - 41:53
    - [Slime] Flippa, it's looking like
  • 41:53 - 41:55
    he thinks that we
    did something-
  • 41:55 - 41:58
    Hey, dude, not cool, man.
    - [Phil] "Not cool?!"
  • 41:58 - 42:00
    - [Slime] Flippa, you gotta-
  • 42:00 - 42:01
    Flippa, bri-
  • 42:01 - 42:03
    Yes, Flippa!
  • 42:04 - 42:05
    I was really worried she would-
  • 42:05 - 42:08
    Oh fuck!
    She's got no stamina!
  • 42:08 - 42:11
    She's gassed.
  • 42:12 - 42:16
    God, I am so proud of my daughter.
  • 42:16 - 42:21
    - [Phil] Mm-hmm.
    - [Slime] And I think that every parent
  • 42:21 - 42:27
    should aspire to feel that way.
  • 42:30 - 42:34
    - [Phil] Yeah, I would if my kid was in his bed
  • 42:34 - 42:36
    where I left him.
  • 42:36 - 42:36
    - [Slime] Well, you know,
  • 42:36 - 42:42
    this is about when
    that rebellious phase strikes, usually.
  • 42:42 - 42:45
    So maybe- I mean,
    have you tried looking around and seeing-?
  • 42:45 - 42:49
    Mine sneaks off and does backflips sometimes.
  • 42:52 - 42:54
    What's that?
    - [Phil] Charlie, get out of here.
  • 42:55 - 42:57
    Get out of here
    before I do something I'll regret.
  • 42:57 - 42:58
    - [Slime] Fuck, fuck, fuck.
    Okay.
  • 42:58 - 43:01
    All right, listen, man,
    I don't know where your kid is, okay?
  • 43:02 - 43:04
    I don't know where they are.
    - [Phil] Stop griefing my house!
  • 43:04 - 43:06
    - [Slime] I'm not griefing!
  • 43:06 - 43:08
    I'm looking for
    a puddle of water to jump into!
  • 43:08 - 43:10
    Whoo!
  • 43:14 - 43:17
    Oh shit!
    Oh shit!
  • 43:17 - 43:20
    (phantom screeches)
    Oh shit!
  • 43:27 - 43:30
    Satan!
  • 43:31 - 43:33
    Come to me, Satan!
  • 43:34 - 43:37
    I've done your dark task!
  • 43:38 - 43:41
    I've done your dark task, goddammit!
  • 43:41 - 43:43
    In front of my fucking friend!
  • 43:43 - 43:45
    I know you set me up, Satan.
  • 43:45 - 43:47
    Oh shit, who's that?
  • 43:51 - 43:52
    Who's that?
  • 43:54 - 43:56
    (relieved exhale)
    Flippa.
  • 43:56 - 43:58
    Okay, back to your room, Flippa.
  • 44:02 - 44:04
    In there, Flippa.
  • 44:04 - 44:06
    Oh shit, hang on.
  • 44:07 - 44:09
    - [Rubius] (deep, distorted voice)
    [Knock knock.]
  • 44:09 - 44:12
    - [Slime] ¡Hola, mi amigo!
  • 44:12 - 44:14
    - [Rubius] [Knock knock!]
    - [Slime] Can you not come in
  • 44:14 - 44:17
    unless I open it,
    like a vampire?
  • 44:17 - 44:20
    - [Rubius] [Yeah, exactly.
    Listen.]
  • 44:20 - 44:23
    - [Slime] Hola, amigo.
    - [Rubius] [You can't tell anybody
  • 44:23 - 44:25
    about my existence.
  • 44:26 - 44:28
    (normal)
    Do you understand?]
  • 44:28 - 44:30
    - [Slime] Oh, hang on.
  • 44:30 - 44:32
    Move-
    - [Rubius] Okay, no, I'll tell you in English.
  • 44:32 - 44:36
    You cannot tell about my existence
    to anyone.
  • 44:36 - 44:37
    If you ever do-
    - [Slime] Oh, fuck.
  • 44:37 - 44:40
    - [Rubius] I will kill you,
    kill your family,
  • 44:40 - 44:42
    burn your house,
  • 44:42 - 44:46
    and take everything from you
    and send you back to Hell.
  • 44:46 - 44:47
    - [Slime] What do you mean, back to Hell-?
  • 44:47 - 44:50
    Oh fuck, am I from Hell?
    - [Rubius] Yes.
  • 44:50 - 44:52
    Maybe we are all from Hell.
  • 44:52 - 44:54
    We are all from Heaven.
    - [Slime] This changes my world view.
  • 44:54 - 44:56
    I was really hoping I could just tell Phil
    that Satan made me do it,
  • 44:56 - 44:58
    so now I'm gonna need to
    think of another alibi.
  • 44:58 - 45:01
    - [Rubius] No, you cannot tell him.
    If you tell him,
  • 45:01 - 45:03
    you know what's going to happen, right?
  • 45:03 - 45:04
    - [Slime] Yeah, you're going to
    burn my house
  • 45:04 - 45:07
    and send me back to Hell, Satan.
    - [Rubius] Exactly.
  • 45:07 - 45:08
    And you don't want that, trust me.
  • 45:08 - 45:11
    - [Slime] No, I don't want to
    go back to Hell, Satan.
  • 45:11 - 45:13
    - [Rubius] Yes, yes. Okay.
    The deal is on.
  • 45:13 - 45:17
    - [Slime] And I don't want Juanaflippa
    to be without a papa again.
  • 45:17 - 45:19
    - [Rubius] What?
  • 45:20 - 45:22
    - [Slime] What do you mean, what?
    - [Rubius] What did you say?
  • 45:22 - 45:26
    - [Slime] I said I don't want Juanaflippa
    to be without a papa.
  • 45:26 - 45:27
    - [Rubius] Oh, no, of course not.
  • 45:27 - 45:30
    ¿Dónde está Juanaflippa?
    Where is she?
  • 45:30 - 45:33
    - [Slime] You don't need to know that, Satan.
  • 45:33 - 45:34
    That information-
    - [Rubius] Yes I do.
  • 45:34 - 45:34
    Tell me!
    - [Slime] Hey, hey, hey!
  • 45:34 - 45:36
    That's information's not nec-
  • 45:36 - 45:38
    Jesus Christ,
    that's an actual bullet hole.
  • 45:38 - 45:41
    - [Rubius] This is for Juanaflippa.
  • 45:41 - 45:43
    - [Slime] You're gonna shoot Juana-?!
    You're gonna put a fucking bullet in my daughter?
  • 45:43 - 45:45
    - [Rubius] I don't wanna shoot her!
    I am a loyal guy!
  • 45:45 - 45:49
    If you do the quest,
    I will deliver.
  • 45:49 - 45:50
    - [Slime] Okay.
    - [Rubius] But tell me.
  • 45:50 - 45:51
    Where is she?
  • 45:51 - 45:53
    - [Slime] All right. Okay.
    - [Rubius] ¿Dónde está?
  • 45:53 - 45:55
    - [Slime] She's right in here, Satan.
  • 45:55 - 45:57
    But hey, I don't want you-
  • 45:57 - 46:02
    You seem like you're gonna be
    a real bad influence to my daughter.
  • 46:02 - 46:04
    - [Rubius] Sí.
    - [Slime] So how about this?
  • 46:04 - 46:08
    Because I know you can't
    come in unless I invite you.
  • 46:08 - 46:09
    You told me that.
    You can't-
  • 46:09 - 46:12
    Hey! Oh, shit!
    - [Rubius] Yes I can.
  • 46:12 - 46:13
    I'm the devil.
    I'm not stupid.
  • 46:13 - 46:14
    - [Slime] Fuck, he's the devil!
    Fuck, you lied about it!
  • 46:14 - 46:17
    You're the fucking devil.
    I should have known.
  • 46:17 - 46:20
    All right.
    Juanaflippa's this way.
  • 46:20 - 46:22
    Oh fuck.
    I didn't think about that.
  • 46:22 - 46:23
    The devil would just lie to me.
  • 46:23 - 46:25
    Hey, Juanaflippa.
    - [Rubius] I need-
  • 46:25 - 46:27
    [Oh, Juanaflippa, my love!
    How are you?]
  • 46:27 - 46:28
    - [Slime] Don't be scared,
    Juanaflippa,
  • 46:28 - 46:31
    it's not CPS.
  • 46:31 - 46:33
    It's just Satan.
    - [Rubius] [Don't be scared.]
  • 46:33 - 46:35
    - [Slime] It's just Satan from Hell.
  • 46:35 - 46:39
    This is a family friend
    of me and your mother's.
  • 46:39 - 46:41
    - [Rubius] [Flippa, this is for you, okay?
    It only has ten bullets.]
  • 46:41 - 46:43
    - [Slime] Hey, don't point that shit
    at her, man.
  • 46:43 - 46:44
    - [Rubius] Hey, hey!
  • 46:44 - 46:46
    [I do what I want!]
    - [Slime] Ow!
  • 46:46 - 46:49
    - [Rubius] [You relax.
    We made a deal.
  • 46:49 - 46:50
    This is for her.]
  • 46:50 - 46:51
    - [Slime] I don't know what you're saying.
  • 46:51 - 46:54
    You shot me and then
    started speaking Spanish.
  • 46:54 - 46:56
    It's a deal for her?
    - [Rubius] [Translate it, asshole!
  • 46:56 - 46:58
    It's a deal.
    Look, look.]
  • 46:58 - 47:00
    Can you read now?
  • 47:00 - 47:02
    Look up.
    - [Slime] Sí, sí.
  • 47:02 - 47:07
    - [Rubius] [All right, so
    we made a deal, and the gun is for her.
  • 47:07 - 47:08
    It only has ten bullets.
  • 47:09 - 47:12
    One, two, three, four, five,
    six, seven, eight, nine...]
  • 47:12 - 47:14
    - [Slime] Diez.
    - [Rubius] Diez.
  • 47:14 - 47:18
    Hey, why don't we do something fun?
  • 47:18 - 47:20
    Why don't you make Flippa...
  • 47:20 - 47:23
    - [Slime] Oh God.
    - [Rubius] shoot the other guy,
  • 47:23 - 47:26
    the father of the other egg?
    - [Slime] (laughs)
  • 47:26 - 47:28
    Satan-
    no, no, Juanaflippa!
  • 47:28 - 47:29
    - [Rubius] (deep, distorted)
    Yes, yes, yes.
  • 47:29 - 47:30
    - [Slime] No, don't flip about that.
  • 47:30 - 47:34
    - [Rubius] Just a little shoot.
    Un pequeño disparito.
  • 47:34 - 47:35
    - [Slime] Oh, shit.
  • 47:35 - 47:37
    Listen, Satan.
    - [Rubius] (normal) Yes?
  • 47:37 - 47:39
    - [Slime] We made a deal, okay?
  • 47:39 - 47:40
    We made a deal
    and that was the deal.
  • 47:40 - 47:42
    - [Rubius] Aw...
    - [Slime] So unless you've got something
  • 47:42 - 47:44
    to sweeten the pot here,
    that's it, all right?
  • 47:44 - 47:47
    We're done.
    - [Rubius] No, this was just fun.
  • 47:47 - 47:50
    The deal is done,
    but this was just extra fun.
  • 47:50 - 47:53
    But if you don't want to...
    - [Slime] No.
  • 47:53 - 47:55
    I think Juanaflippa now has-
  • 47:55 - 47:58
    We're not gonna waste those bullets
    on aggression, okay?
  • 47:58 - 47:59
    We're gonna take care of ourselves
    out here.
  • 47:59 - 48:02
    So thank you, Satan,
    for that.
  • 48:02 - 48:03
    I appreciate it.
    - [Rubius] Mm-hmm.
  • 48:03 - 48:04
    - [Slime] Dap me up
  • 48:04 - 48:06
    and I'll probably see you eventually
  • 48:06 - 48:09
    in the seventh ring, brother.
  • 48:11 - 48:13
    - [Rubius] [Perfect.
    We'll see each other soon.
  • 48:13 - 48:16
    It's been a pleasure.]
    - [Slime] Say hi to little Jesus for me.
  • 48:20 - 48:23
    (Slime sighs in relief)
  • 48:24 - 48:25
    All right Juana-
  • 48:25 - 48:28
    okay, wait, wait!
    I'm sorry.
  • 48:28 - 48:32
    I'm sorry I wasn't there for you.
  • 48:33 - 48:38
    "Yeah, sorry, just a glitch.
  • 48:38 - 48:40
    Looks like...
  • 48:43 - 48:48
    weird stuff
    happening on the server.
  • 48:52 - 48:57
    Thought Flippa despawned for a sec.
  • 48:58 - 49:07
    Try re-logging,
    that might have happened to yours."
  • 49:10 - 49:13
    Okay, Juanaflippa.
    All right.
  • 49:14 - 49:16
    You know, I'd say that today,
  • 49:16 - 49:19
    we gave you a new food.
  • 49:21 - 49:23
    And if a taste of Hell counts,
    that too.
  • 49:23 - 49:26
    We took you on
    quite the adventure.
  • 49:26 - 49:27
    I'd say we taught you a new skill.
  • 49:27 - 49:32
    We really got your aim worked on,
    which now I'm feeling pretty good about.
  • 49:33 - 49:36
    And let's see, there's one last one here.
  • 49:36 - 49:39
    "Sing the baby a lullaby."
  • 49:40 - 49:43
    Yeah!
    Okay, we can do a lullaby.
  • 49:43 - 49:48
    Let me if I can find
    a nice backing track for you, Flippa.
  • 49:48 - 49:49
    - "We got new plushies-"
  • 49:49 - 49:52
    - [Slime] That's just my video.
    Hang on.
  • 49:53 - 49:54
    Okay, one sec.
  • 49:55 - 49:58
    I'm gonna find a nice little
    background track for you, Flippa.
  • 49:58 - 49:59
    Can you just give me one sec?
  • 50:00 - 50:01
    Yeah, Flippa!
  • 50:01 - 50:04
    All right,
    talk to the stream for a sec, Flippa.
  • 50:04 - 50:06
    I gotta find something.
  • 50:09 - 50:11
    (Slime typing)
  • 50:24 - 50:26
    Is this what I want?
  • 50:27 - 50:31
    Hang on.
  • 50:33 - 50:34
    This is a Glock type beat.
  • 50:34 - 50:37
    (Slime skipping through
    a rap backing track)
  • 50:37 - 50:40
    I want a beat with actual gunshots in it.
  • 50:41 - 50:43
    (acoustic guitar)
  • 50:43 - 50:46
    I want a rap beat with gunshots.
  • 50:46 - 50:49
    Does anyone have a rap beat
    with gunshots in it?
  • 50:49 - 50:50
    Hang, on what about this one?
    (Slime skipping through track)
  • 50:51 - 50:53
    (gunshot sound effect)
    Oh.
  • 50:54 - 50:57
    (Slime laughs)
    Okay, all right.
  • 50:57 - 50:59
    Hang on, Juanaflippa.
  • 51:03 - 51:05
    All right, one sec.
  • 51:05 - 51:07
    What is Kitchen Gun?
  • 51:10 - 51:13
    Kitchen Gun Epic Remix?
  • 51:13 - 51:14
    No, we're not doing that.
  • 51:14 - 51:17
    We're doing gunshot-type beat.
  • 51:17 - 51:21
    Okay, Juanaflippa, I just got to
    convert this to MP3 real quick.
  • 51:22 - 51:24
    Which, is that strictly legal?
    I don't know.
  • 51:24 - 51:28
    But we just made a deal with Satan earlier,
    so it's probably cool.
  • 51:34 - 51:36
    (someone places a block)
  • 51:37 - 51:38
    Is this Kitchen Gun?
  • 51:38 - 51:42
    (♪: "3 BIG SHOTS FROM [KITCHEN GUN]")
  • 51:42 - 51:45
    (Charlie laughs)
  • 51:48 - 51:50
    Is that not it?
  • 51:50 - 51:52
    Is this it?
  • 51:52 - 51:56
    (♪: "Kitchen Gun Remix")
  • 51:56 - 51:58
    Or is that it?
  • 51:58 - 51:59
    Which one is it?
  • 52:03 - 52:06
    We're gonna do the Big Shot one
    so I can sing along to it.
  • 52:08 - 52:10
    Okay, ready?
  • 52:11 - 52:12
    I'm just gonna download it
    and put in my sampler
  • 52:12 - 52:14
    so I can sing it to Juanaflippa.
  • 52:14 - 52:16
    And then Juanaflippa,
    we're gonna need to bail out
  • 52:16 - 52:17
    and we're probably gonna need to move
  • 52:17 - 52:18
    and we're probably gonna need to
    change postcodes.
  • 52:18 - 52:20
    Oh my God!
  • 52:20 - 52:22
    All right, he's already trying to
    summon the devil again.
  • 52:22 - 52:23
    Fuck.
  • 52:30 - 52:32
    It's not converting.
  • 52:38 - 52:40
    (rap backing track)
    Okay, you know what,
  • 52:40 - 52:42
    I'm just gonna do it on this beat.
  • 52:42 - 52:44
    I'm just gonna do it on this beat
    because it's not converting.
  • 52:44 - 52:46
    Juanaflippa, I can't get the beat to-
  • 52:46 - 52:47
    You're just gonna have to
    imagine the beat, Juanaflippa.
  • 52:47 - 52:48
    Go to my stream.
  • 52:48 - 52:49
    Hold that gun out and, like,
  • 52:49 - 52:52
    do cool shit.
  • 52:52 - 52:54
    Yeah.
  • 52:54 - 52:56
    Flippa on the beat!
    (Phil clears his throat)
  • 52:56 - 52:58
    Flippa, Flippa!
  • 52:59 - 53:00
    (backing track stops)
    Hey, Phil, you kind of
  • 53:00 - 53:01
    caught me at a bad time.
  • 53:01 - 53:04
    Can I just finish this up before-?
  • 53:04 - 53:05
    Flippa, put that away.
    - [Phil] Yeah.
  • 53:05 - 53:08
    Sure. I'll wait.
  • 53:09 - 53:11
    - [Slime] Okay, thanks.
  • 53:11 - 53:12
    Just give me one sec.
  • 53:14 - 53:16
    Appreciate it, man.
  • 53:18 - 53:19
    I'm sorry about that...
  • 53:20 - 53:22
    glitch, by the way.
  • 53:23 - 53:24
    - [Phil] Yeah, glitch.
  • 53:24 - 53:26
    So...
  • 53:27 - 53:30
    I'm just inquiring-
  • 53:30 - 53:32
    - [Slime] Yeah, just one second though, man.
  • 53:34 - 53:36
    - [Phil] One se-?
    Charlie!
  • 53:36 - 53:38
    - [Slime] What, dude?
    What, man?
  • 53:38 - 53:40
    - [Phil] Did you kill my egg?
  • 53:40 - 53:42
    - [Slime] Kill your fucking egg?
    No, dude!
  • 53:42 - 53:43
    No, I wouldn't!
  • 53:43 - 53:45
    Flippa, put the gun away.
  • 53:45 - 53:46
    I did not kill your fucking egg.
  • 53:47 - 53:48
    I was teaching Flippa
    how to speedbridge.
  • 53:48 - 53:50
    What are you talking about?
  • 53:50 - 53:52
    - [Phil] Charlie, I logged on-
    - [Slime] And I'm about to sing her
  • 53:52 - 53:55
    a fucking bed-
    You are traumatizing a child!
  • 53:55 - 53:56
    - [Phil] Charlie!
    - [Slime] You're traumatizing a child right now.
  • 53:56 - 53:58
    - [Phil] Then take it outside.
    Come here.
  • 53:58 - 54:00
    Okay, well, let me sing-
    Do you wanna-
  • 54:00 - 54:01
    You know what?
  • 54:01 - 54:04
    Let's show her that love trumps war.
  • 54:04 - 54:05
    Do my bedtime story with hers.
  • 54:05 - 54:06
    We can put her to to bed,
  • 54:06 - 54:08
    and then afterwards
    we can take this outside
  • 54:08 - 54:10
    and we can talk about this
    like adults, okay?
  • 54:10 - 54:14
    Flippa stops setting fires
    and trying to summon...
  • 54:14 - 54:15
    something.
  • 54:15 - 54:16
    All right?
  • 54:16 - 54:17
    (rap backing track begins)
  • 54:17 - 54:19
    Okay.
  • 54:19 - 54:20
    All right.
  • 54:21 - 54:23
    (Slime clears his throat)
  • 54:23 - 54:25
    Brrap!
  • 54:25 - 54:28
    This one goes out to
    Ch-Ch-Ch-Chayanne!
  • 54:30 - 54:32
    Ch-Ch-Ch-Chayanne!
  • 54:33 - 54:34
    Ch-Ch-
  • 54:34 - 54:35
    Ch-Ch-Chayanne!
  • 54:38 - 54:41
    Alright, here we go.
  • 54:42 - 54:45
    My daughter, Juanaflippa
  • 54:45 - 54:49
    Got a bow and arrow, shot a creepa
  • 54:49 - 54:52
    Poppin’ down, doing Gangnam Style
  • 54:52 - 54:56
    Be careful whose egg you rile up
  • 54:56 - 54:57
    My egg’s got a gun
  • 54:57 - 55:01
    My egg hunts, my egg shoots for fun
  • 55:01 - 55:04
    Juanaflippa, she’s got allergies
  • 55:04 - 55:07
    Juanaflippa, she’s allergic to bees
  • 55:07 - 55:11
    Juanaflippa, and also detergent
  • 55:11 - 55:14
    Juanaflippa, she’s a fucking insurgent
  • 55:14 - 55:17
    Juanaflippa, she flips all day
  • 55:17 - 55:19
    Juanaflippa, and we don’t pray
  • 55:19 - 55:21
    We like to play
  • 55:21 - 55:23
    But we don’t pray to God
  • 55:23 - 55:27
    We worship the other guy now that He’s gone
  • 55:27 - 55:30
    We set fires and jump all day
  • 55:30 - 55:32
    It’s bedtime now, so what do we say?
  • 55:33 - 55:37
    Hey - whoa, whoa, whoa! Dude!
  • 55:37 - 55:41
    - [Phil] I was given permission by God to kill you.
  • 55:41 - 55:42
    - [Slime] What-? Okay, tell you what-
  • 55:42 - 55:44
    - [Phil] Juanaflippa, I’m sorry.
  • 55:44 - 55:45
    (gunshots)
  • 55:45 - 55:47
    - [Slime] Juanaflippa! Fucking take him down!
  • 55:47 - 55:49
    Yeah, you bitch! Here’s the bridge!
  • 55:49 - 55:53
    You fucked with Juanaflippa,
    so you got the glock
  • 55:53 - 55:55
    Now it’s time to fuck
  • 55:55 - 55:56
    You fucked up
  • 55:56 - 55:59
    You fucked up, my dude
  • 55:59 - 56:01
    You shouldn’t have given Flippa that ‘tude
  • 56:01 - 56:04
    Yeah! Let’s go!
  • 56:04 - 56:08
    Let’s go, Juanaflippa, you already know!
  • 56:08 - 56:12
    (backing track stops)
    Fuck yes, Juanaflippa, that was beautiful.
  • 56:12 - 56:14
    He had it coming, between you and me.
  • 56:14 - 56:16
    Time to eat his avocado toast.
  • 56:16 - 56:18
    He fucking would, wouldn’t he?
  • 56:19 - 56:21
    Good job, Juanaflippa.
  • 56:21 - 56:22
    All right, Juanaflippa.
  • 56:23 - 56:23
    Take these.
  • 56:23 - 56:26
    Put these items on, okay, Juanaflippa?
  • 56:26 - 56:29
    Put that armor on.
  • 56:30 - 56:31
    Yes, Juanaflippa!
  • 56:31 - 56:33
    Juanaflippa, spew your seed!
  • 56:33 - 56:36
    Take that armor,
    okay, Juanaflippa?
  • 56:36 - 56:37
    All right, good job.
  • 56:37 - 56:39
    Now put that on.
  • 56:41 - 56:43
    (Slime laughs)
  • 56:44 - 56:47
    - [Phil] Charlie!
    (Phil climbing a ladder)
  • 56:47 - 56:49
    - [Slime] Uh-oh.
  • 56:50 - 56:51
    (Phil opens a chest)
  • 56:51 - 56:53
    - [Phil] Get out here!
  • 56:53 - 56:55
    - [Slime] What's up, man?
  • 56:56 - 56:57
    - [Phil] Why did you do it?
  • 56:57 - 56:59
    - [Slime] Why did I do what?
    What are you even ta-?
  • 56:59 - 57:00
    You're deranged.
    - [Phil] Why did you kill my egg?
  • 57:00 - 57:02
    - [Slime] You're talking about God.
  • 57:02 - 57:04
    God's not real!
    - [Phil] Also, why the fuck
  • 57:04 - 57:06
    does your egg have a fucking gun?
  • 57:06 - 57:09
    - [Slime] Why does my what have a gun?
    Are you hallucinating?
  • 57:09 - 57:11
    - [Phil] Why does your egg
    have a fucking gun?
  • 57:11 - 57:13
    - [Slime] Dude, you're on drugs.
  • 57:14 - 57:18
    You're literally on drugs right now.
    You're talking like a crazy person.
  • 57:18 - 57:20
    - [Phil] Give me my shit back.
    - [Slime] Yeah, fine, all right?
  • 57:20 - 57:22
    Here's what you dropped, bro.
  • 57:22 - 57:23
    - [Phil] No, give me my shit back.
  • 57:23 - 57:27
    - [Slime] No, I'll fucking tell you what,
    buddy. Phil.
  • 57:27 - 57:29
    Listen, we love each other, all right?
  • 57:30 - 57:32
    That's Jaiden's stuff.
    You can't steal from her, all right?
  • 57:32 - 57:33
    Are you a woman? No.
    - [Phil] I'm just getting a pickaxe.
  • 57:33 - 57:35
    - [Slime] You're not a woman.
  • 57:35 - 57:37
    Are you a woman?
    You're a woman hater.
  • 57:37 - 57:38
    Back off.
  • 57:38 - 57:40
    - [Phil] Oh my God,
    my body's just fucking there.
  • 57:40 - 57:41
    Jesus Christ.
    - [Slime] Back off.
  • 57:41 - 57:43
    - [Phil] Charlie, give me my shit back!
    - [Slime] It's my body now!
  • 57:43 - 57:45
    Phil, we gotta talk, all right?
  • 57:45 - 57:47
    If you take another step forward,
  • 57:47 - 57:49
    I'm gonna do it.
  • 57:49 - 57:51
    So we have to talk.
    - [Phil] Mmm.
  • 57:52 - 57:54
    - [Slime] Now, here's some avocado toast.
  • 57:55 - 57:56
    - [Phil] Give me my stuff back,
  • 57:56 - 57:58
    then we'll talk.
    - [Slime] That'll be $23.
  • 57:58 - 58:02
    No, no,
    because you came into my house, all right?
  • 58:02 - 58:04
    You came into my house and you-
    - [Phil] You murdered my son!
  • 58:04 - 58:06
    - [Slime] You threatened my dau-
    I don't know who your son is!
  • 58:06 - 58:09
    - [Phil] You murdered him!
    - [Slime] I've never even met your son!
  • 58:09 - 58:12
    - [Phil] Shut up.
    I was visited by a god.
  • 58:12 - 58:15
    A god told me that it was murd-
  • 58:16 - 58:17
    - [Slime] Oh, that god?
  • 58:17 - 58:20
    Oh, that god who's trying to smite you?
  • 58:20 - 58:22
    - [Phil] A god told me my egg was murdered!
  • 58:22 - 58:24
    - [Slime] Well, I'm sorry that happened to you!
  • 58:24 - 58:28
    - [Phil] And you were the only person-
    - [Slime] Is there any other way I can help?
  • 58:28 - 58:31
    Listen, I will give you your shit back
  • 58:31 - 58:36
    if you promise not to hurt Juanaflippa, okay?
  • 58:36 - 58:38
    I saw the way you were looking at her.
  • 58:38 - 58:41
    She has nothing to do with this.
  • 58:41 - 58:44
    We all just want what's best
    for our child.
  • 58:44 - 58:46
    (Phil laughs)
  • 58:46 - 58:51
    Now, there is an odd
    smattering of particles next to you
  • 58:51 - 58:54
    in sort of a vague angelic shape,
    I did notice.
  • 58:54 - 58:56
    That is a bit odd, I will admit.
  • 58:56 - 58:58
    This is true.
  • 58:58 - 59:02
    My boy Lil' J
    is clearly in the hood right now.
  • 59:02 - 59:05
    (Slime drinks from a water bottle)
  • 59:05 - 59:07
    But Phil?
  • 59:07 - 59:08
    (Phil hiccups)
  • 59:08 - 59:10
    - [Phil] "Lil' J?"
  • 59:10 - 59:11
    (both laugh)
  • 59:11 - 59:12
    - [Slime] Yeah, that's right.
  • 59:12 - 59:14
    I'm on a fucking first name basis.
  • 59:14 - 59:17
    We have nickies for each other.
  • 59:17 - 59:19
    - [Phil] Can I get my shit
    before it despawns?
  • 59:19 - 59:21
    Jesus Christ.
    - [Slime] No, you stay back.
  • 59:21 - 59:23
    (lightning strikes close by)
  • 59:23 - 59:24
    What the fuck's going on in there?!
  • 59:24 - 59:26
    Juanaflippa, run!
  • 59:26 - 59:27
    Dude, it won't desp-
    It's on your body.
  • 59:27 - 59:31
    Agree you won't hurt Juanaflippa.
  • 59:31 - 59:33
    - [Phil] I agree.
    - [Slime] Okay. All right.
  • 59:33 - 59:35
    As God is literally my witness.
    - [Phil] But, like,
  • 59:35 - 59:37
    your egg is burning, dude.
    - [Slime] Stop.
  • 59:37 - 59:39
    Juanaflippa, get out of the fire.
  • 59:39 - 59:40
    Okay.
  • 59:40 - 59:42
    All right, you're good to go.
  • 59:42 - 59:44
    I did take some of your shit.
    Hang on.
  • 59:44 - 59:46
    Oh.
    - [Phil] Give me all my shit.
  • 59:46 - 59:49
    - [Slime] Hang on, one sec.
    I gotta take care of this.
  • 59:49 - 59:51
    I'll give you your shit.
    I promise.
  • 59:51 - 59:52
    (Phil laughs)
  • 59:52 - 59:53
    Okay.
  • 59:53 - 59:55
    Here you go.
    Ow.
  • 59:55 - 59:57
    Oh, wait. Hang on.
  • 59:57 - 59:59
    Critical hunger.
  • 60:01 - 60:03
    Okay.
    I have these bottles.
  • 60:04 - 60:04
    (Phil laughs)
  • 60:04 - 60:07
    Gonna sort of vaguely throw them
    in the vicinity
  • 60:07 - 60:09
    if that is cool.
  • 60:09 - 60:11
    And then I've got this boat
  • 60:11 - 60:14
    and the toast.
  • 60:14 - 60:15
    I'm gonna keep it.
    - [Phil] Feed your kid!
  • 60:16 - 60:18
    Your child is literally dying of hun-
  • 60:18 - 60:23
    Feed your child.
    - [Slime] Flippa, eat your avocado toast.
  • 60:26 - 60:27
    Okay, now, I don't-
  • 60:27 - 60:29
    What is this picture that I have here?
    Hang on.
  • 60:29 - 60:30
    I don't know what that is.
  • 60:30 - 60:33
    - [Phil] That's me and Fit.
    - [Slime] That's staying here.
  • 60:33 - 60:35
    - [Phil] No, you cannot take that.
  • 60:35 - 60:38
    - [Slime] That's a memory
    from a new family friend of ours,
  • 60:38 - 60:41
    Philza, okay,
    who would never harm our daughter.
  • 60:41 - 60:44
    Why are you still hungry?
    That was 12 avocado toast.
  • 60:44 - 60:46
    I know it's not very filling,
    but come on, Flippa.
  • 60:46 - 60:47
    Okay.
  • 60:48 - 60:50
    - [Phil] Avocado toast is so good,
    actually.
  • 60:50 - 60:52
    You know Ranboo's never had it?
  • 60:52 - 60:55
    - [Slime] Really?
    - [Phil] Yeah.
  • 60:55 - 60:57
    - [Slime] That's kind of sad, man.
  • 60:57 - 60:59
    - [Phil] Thank you for my photo.
  • 60:59 - 61:00
    - [Slime] Hey, no, you take that photo back.
  • 61:00 - 61:02
    Instead, I want you to frame this photo
  • 61:02 - 61:05
    of my wife and our daughter.
  • 61:05 - 61:06
    (Phil laughs)
  • 61:06 - 61:09
    Okay?
    I want you to frame that instead,
  • 61:09 - 61:12
    so that you remember the oath
    that we made here.
  • 61:13 - 61:17
    Okay? We've both had
    some divine visits today,
  • 61:17 - 61:18
    keeping things vague,
  • 61:18 - 61:21
    and I just think that
    it would be best
  • 61:21 - 61:23
    if we forgot about this
    whole crazy incident
  • 61:23 - 61:26
    and we also forgot about the fact
    that Ranboo has never had avocado toast,
  • 61:26 - 61:29
    because I really don't know.
    - [Phil] Yeah, that's kinda weird, right?
  • 61:29 - 61:31
    - [Slime] Yeah, it is sort of weird.
  • 61:32 - 61:34
    - [Phil] Oh man.
  • 61:34 - 61:35
    - [Slime] Wait, Ranboo's actually in chat.
  • 61:35 - 61:37
    He just said "what?"
  • 61:37 - 61:38
    Why are you in Jua-?
  • 61:38 - 61:39
    Oh, okay.
    You can put this.
  • 61:39 - 61:41
    - [Phil] I'm putting
    extra stuff that isn't mine.
  • 61:41 - 61:43
    - [Slime] It's very nice of you.
  • 61:43 - 61:45
    - [Phil] "Standing torch."
    Don't know what that is.
  • 61:45 - 61:48
    - [Slime] Ranboo, is that true
    that you've never had avocado toast?
  • 61:50 - 61:52
    It's two ingredients, dude.
  • 61:52 - 61:56
    You could literally
    RNG your way into it on accident.
  • 61:57 - 62:01
    You don't get why it's being brought up?
    So you don't deny it.
  • 62:02 - 62:05
    Ranboo, it's 2023.
  • 62:05 - 62:10
    You're going to lose your lean figure
    if you don't eat avocado toast.
  • 62:12 - 62:16
    It's not relevant?
    Well, it feels pretty relevant now.
  • 62:16 - 62:19
    - [Phil] Just gonna let you
    have this conversation.
  • 62:20 - 62:22
    - [Slime] Yeah, that's sort of-
  • 62:22 - 62:25
    sort of intrusive of you, man, to-
    - [Phil] Put that up.
  • 62:25 - 62:26
    - [Slime] Thank you.
  • 62:26 - 62:28
    - [Phil] There you go.
    - [Slime] Hey, take it easy.
  • 62:28 - 62:30
    We're all good now.
  • 62:31 - 62:33
    - [Phil] Yeah, I guess.
    - [Slime] I appreciate it.
  • 62:33 - 62:36
    - [Phil] I guess we're fine.
    - [Slime] All right.
  • 62:37 - 62:39
    Take it easy, man.
  • 62:39 - 62:43
    Sorry that God said some shit to you
    or whatever.
  • 62:43 - 62:46
    Hey, if he shows up,
  • 62:46 - 62:49
    let Lil' J know I said hi, okay?
  • 62:50 - 62:52
    - [Phil] Bruh.
  • 62:52 - 62:53
    - [Slime] All right.
  • 62:53 - 62:54
    Flippa, I'm sorry about that.
  • 62:54 - 62:59
    That's the deranged elderly man
    that lives upstairs.
  • 62:59 - 63:00
    - [Phil] I'm not deranged!
    (Slime laughs)
  • 63:00 - 63:01
    And I'm not elderly!
  • 63:01 - 63:03
    - [Slime] Shit, I thought he was gone.
  • 63:03 - 63:05
    - [Phil] I literally can still hear you!
    You live in my basement!
  • 63:05 - 63:06
    (rap backing track starts)
  • 63:06 - 63:10
    - [Slime] All right, Juanaflippa.
    It's back to bedtime, Juanaflippa.
  • 63:10 - 63:12
    Yeah! Yeah!
    - [Phil] You live in my fucking basement!
  • 63:12 - 63:14
    Remember that!
    - [Slime] Set the roof on fire!
  • 63:14 - 63:16
    Shut up, dude!
  • 63:16 - 63:29
    Yeah, we never get a noise complaint! (x4)
  • 63:29 - 63:30
    There's an old man
  • 63:30 - 63:32
    He lives upstairs
  • 63:32 - 63:33
    He says crazy things
  • 63:33 - 63:36
    He gets weird stares
  • 63:36 - 63:39
    He is clearly deranged
  • 63:42 - 63:45
    He's an insane guy
  • 63:45 - 63:49
    He forgets to wear clothes,
    I don't know why
  • 63:49 - 63:52
    He's fucking nuts
  • 63:52 - 63:54
    He walks around with his butt out
  • 63:54 - 63:56
    He wears no clothes and he walks around
  • 63:56 - 64:00
    He talks about how he saw God
    making sounds
  • 64:03 - 64:07
    Generally uncomfortable to be around
  • 64:08 - 64:11
    His mental health's on decline
  • 64:16 - 64:20
    (laughs)
    Dude, he's gonna die!
  • 64:20 - 64:23
    All right,
    Juanaflippa, take it away.
  • 64:23 - 64:26
    Take it away on the bridge, Juanaflippa.
    Pop off.
  • 64:26 - 64:28
    Yeah.
  • 64:30 - 64:32
    H-h-huevo!
  • 64:33 - 64:36
    Yeah, got the toast
  • 64:36 - 64:39
    Juanaflippa coming in with the roast
  • 64:39 - 64:42
    Saw the devil, or was it a ghost?
  • 64:42 - 64:44
    Got the Glock
  • 64:44 - 64:45
    You're toast
  • 64:47 - 64:48
    I got an egg
  • 64:50 - 64:51
    She's got legs
  • 64:53 - 64:55
    It's time for bed
  • 64:55 - 64:58
    That not me
    B-b-but that's what I said
  • 65:00 - 65:01
    Yeah.
  • 65:01 - 65:04
    Now it's time.
    Ad-libs.
  • 65:04 - 65:06
    It's ad-lib time.
  • 65:07 - 65:13
    (Slime scatting)
  • 65:14 - 65:15
    (Slime scatting)
    Huevo, huevo
  • 65:15 - 65:18
    (Slime scatting)
    Huevo nuevo
  • 65:19 - 65:21
    (Slime scatting)
    Gun!
  • 65:23 - 65:25
    I meant to stop it,
    but it actually just restarted.
  • 65:25 - 65:26
    Okay.
  • 65:26 - 65:30
    All right, I hope that's
    calmed you down for bed.
  • 65:31 - 65:32
    I love you, Juanaflippa.
  • 65:32 - 65:34
    Can I tuck you in, if that's okay?
  • 65:35 - 65:37
    Oh, thank you for the avocado toast.
  • 65:38 - 65:40
    This stuff is usually, like, $18,
  • 65:40 - 65:42
    so that really means a lot.
  • 65:42 - 65:44
    And Juanaflippa, I want you to know
  • 65:46 - 65:48
    that...
  • 65:48 - 65:50
    Oh shit, I accidentally
    gave Phil my backpack.
  • 65:55 - 65:55
    Oh fuck.
  • 65:55 - 65:56
    All right.
  • 65:56 - 65:58
    Juanaflippa, I'll be right back.
  • 66:00 - 66:02
    You go to bed.
    Juanaflippa, it's bedtime, okay?
  • 66:03 - 66:05
    Just tuck in, okay?
  • 66:06 - 66:09
    Oh, this is gonna be super awkward.
  • 66:14 - 66:16
    Hey, Phil?
  • 66:17 - 66:18
    - [Phil] Yeah?
  • 66:19 - 66:20
    - [Slime] This is kind of awkward, man,
  • 66:20 - 66:24
    but I think I accidentally
    gave you my backpack.
  • 66:24 - 66:26
    - [Phil] Oh, this thing?
    - [Slime] Yeah.
  • 66:26 - 66:28
    I was just wondering
    if you could, like,
  • 66:28 - 66:32
    drop it off sometime
    that you've got some spare time
  • 66:33 - 66:38
    because I sort of think
    I accidentally gave that to you and, uh...
  • 66:38 - 66:40
    All right, I can see you have it on now
  • 66:40 - 66:43
    and it's just, it's got
    some important stuff in there.
  • 66:45 - 66:50
    (both laugh)
  • 66:50 - 66:53
    - [Phil] I was like,
    "How long is it gonna take for him to realize
  • 66:56 - 66:59
    that I have all of his stuff?"
  • 66:59 - 67:01
    - [Slime] Hey, listen,
    I was singing a bedtime song
  • 67:01 - 67:04
    to my fucking daughter, okay?
    I was being present.
  • 67:04 - 67:06
    - [Phil] Yeah.
    - [Slime] Listen, you can keep-
  • 67:06 - 67:09
    Hey, come back.
  • 67:09 - 67:10
    If you want-
  • 67:10 - 67:12
    I don't even remember
    what's in there, to be honest,
  • 67:12 - 67:16
    I don't think I've had an inventory system
    this entire time, but
  • 67:17 - 67:18
    you can have it all
    if you just give me back
  • 67:19 - 67:20
    that flower in there, okay?
  • 67:20 - 67:23
    There's a flower in there
    that Flippa gave to me.
  • 67:23 - 67:26
    - [Phil] Oh, okay.
    - [Slime] Okay.
  • 67:26 - 67:27
    - [Phil] I mean, I could just give you, like-
  • 67:28 - 67:28
    There's a lot of stuff in here, Charlie.
  • 67:28 - 67:30
    I could just give you the backpack back.
    It's fine.
  • 67:30 - 67:31
    - [Slime] Oh.
    - [Phil] There's, like, sentimental stuff.
  • 67:31 - 67:33
    There's the ticket
    that you used to get her.
  • 67:33 - 67:35
    - [Slime] Yeah, that is pretty
    sentimental,
  • 67:35 - 67:36
    but I mean, if you really want-
  • 67:36 - 67:38
    Yeah, if you really insist
    on keeping it, you monster,
  • 67:38 - 67:40
    then I guess.
  • 67:41 - 67:43
    (Phil laughs)
  • 67:43 - 67:45
    Jesus. I mean...
  • 67:45 - 67:47
    - [Phil] No, I could never do that.
    - [Slime] It'd be pretty heartless.
  • 67:47 - 67:48
    - [Phil] I could never do that
    to a fellow parent.
  • 67:48 - 67:50
    - [Slime] Pretty heartless,
    but yeah, if you're really insisting.
  • 67:50 - 67:52
    If that's what it's gonna take.
  • 67:52 - 67:56
    - [Phil] I would never do that
    to a fellow parent.
  • 67:57 - 67:58
    Okay. Thank you.
  • 67:58 - 68:00
    - [Phil] Go fetch.
    - [Slime] Oh, there it goes.
  • 68:00 - 68:04
    - [Phil] Go fetch.
    - [Slime] It's just blended in with the grass.
  • 68:04 - 68:05
    Welp.
  • 68:05 - 68:08
    - [Phil] You stole my paraglider, by the way.
  • 68:08 - 68:09
    - [Slime] What?
    No I didn't.
  • 68:09 - 68:10
    See ya.
  • 68:10 - 68:13
    (both laugh)
  • 68:15 - 68:17
    Thank you, Phil!
  • 68:17 - 68:20
    - [Phil] You're welcome!
    - [Slime] Love you!
  • 68:22 - 68:24
    Love you!
  • 68:25 - 68:28
    Say it back, Phil!
  • 68:30 - 68:31
    Okay.
  • 68:35 - 68:37
    Well,
  • 68:38 - 68:41
    we're gonna need to figure out
    how to make bullets.
  • 68:47 - 68:50
    No, he made an oath.
    He made an oath not to go for Flippa.
  • 68:50 - 68:52
    He made a fucking oath.
  • 68:52 - 68:54
    He wouldn't.
    He would not do that.
  • 68:54 - 68:56
    I know Phil.
    He wouldn't do that.
  • 68:59 - 69:00
    He made an oath!
  • 69:14 - 69:16
    No, he wouldn't.
  • 69:23 - 69:24
    Aww.
  • 69:25 - 69:26
    Sleeping tight.
  • 69:26 - 69:28
    Let me put
    the picture back up here.
  • 69:29 - 69:30
    Oh, good morning, Fli-
  • 69:30 - 69:35
    It's too late, Flippa.
    It's not morning time yet.
  • 69:37 - 69:39
    Can I take a picture of
  • 69:39 - 69:43
    baby's first semi-automatic weapon?
  • 69:44 - 69:45
    I think I gotta-
    one second.
  • 69:45 - 69:46
    Let me get photos real quick.
  • 69:47 - 69:49
    I have to make paper, I think.
  • 69:49 - 69:51
    I don't know if I have any.
  • 69:55 - 69:56
    Hang on.
  • 69:56 - 69:57
    I'm just gonna make some paper real
    quick, Flippa.
  • 69:57 - 69:59
    I'll be right back.
  • 70:04 - 70:06
    Baby's first toy.
  • 70:08 - 70:09
    Do you have any paper, Flippa?
  • 70:15 - 70:17
    Okay, I'm just gonna go look for sugar cane.
  • 70:17 - 70:19
    I shouldn't be too long.
  • 70:19 - 70:22
    Don't get into too much trouble
    while I'm gone, okay?
  • 70:22 - 70:25
    I just want to take a picture of you
    with your first toy.
  • 70:25 - 70:26
    Okay.
  • 70:26 - 70:28
    Let's see.
    This way.
  • 70:42 - 70:44
    She's so wholesome.
  • 70:46 - 70:48
    I'm proud of her.
  • 70:57 - 70:58
    Oh, fuck.
    Jesus Christ.
  • 70:58 - 71:00
    (Slime screams)
  • 71:01 - 71:02
    Phil!
  • 71:02 - 71:04
    Wait, what am I saying?
    He wouldn't be able to help with this.
  • 71:04 - 71:06
    Someone else!
  • 71:07 - 71:09
    Someone else that isn't Phil!
  • 71:20 - 71:23
    Sugarcane?
    Is there any sugarcane?
  • 71:24 - 71:26
    There we go.
  • 71:28 - 71:31
    Dude, I've never been jumpscared more
  • 71:31 - 71:35
    than when Phil fucking logged on
    as we were bridging up to his house today.
  • 71:35 - 71:38
    That was probably the scariest experience
    of my entire life.
  • 71:51 - 71:54
    And I can't tell anyone
    that I saw Satan.
  • 71:56 - 71:57
    Just plant some of it?
  • 71:57 - 72:00
    That's a really good idea.
    Hang on.
  • 72:04 - 72:07
    I need to embrace sustainable living.
  • 72:13 - 72:15
    Whee!
  • 72:16 - 72:18
    Oh, a bunch of people are on now.
  • 72:30 - 72:34
    (Slime laughs)
    "Just a cringefail dad
  • 72:35 - 72:38
    and his cringefail wife."
  • 72:44 - 72:46
    QSMP called me a murderer?
    That's cr-
  • 72:46 - 72:49
    Satan made me fucking do it, dude.
  • 72:49 - 72:51
    I mean, what?
    Who's Satan?
  • 72:52 - 72:54
    It's okay.
    I just can't let anyone ever hear me-
  • 72:54 - 72:56
    God. Okay.
  • 73:01 - 73:03
    It's okay.
    I'm muted.
  • 73:19 - 73:21
    Mmm!
  • 73:22 - 73:24
    Rotten flesh.
  • 73:28 - 73:29
    Hrrm.
  • 73:32 - 73:35
    Hrrm.
    (trader mumbles)
  • 73:36 - 73:40
    HrrRRRRrrrhm.
  • 73:42 - 73:45
    - [Spreen] [Are you on drugs?]
    - [Slime] Hello, hello!
  • 73:45 - 73:47
    You can hear me.
  • 73:47 - 73:50
    - [Spreen] Sí, sí.
    - [Slime] How are you?
  • 73:50 - 73:53
    - [Spreen] [Are you on drugs?]
  • 73:53 - 73:54
    - [Slime] I'm high?
  • 73:54 - 73:57
    I can get higher.
    Check this out.
  • 73:57 - 73:59
    Whoo!
    - [Spreen] No, no.
  • 73:59 - 74:02
    (slowly)
    [Are you on drugs?]
  • 74:02 - 74:05
    - [Slime] The only drug I have is this.
  • 74:05 - 74:08
    Whoo!
    - [Spreen] Ah, okay.
  • 74:08 - 74:10
    Nice.
    - [Slime] The blood rushes to my head
  • 74:10 - 74:13
    very, very fast.
  • 74:14 - 74:16
    (trader mumbles)
  • 74:17 - 74:22
    - [Spreen] [Can't you die that way?]
    - [Slime] Estoy mucho drogado.
  • 74:22 - 74:26
    Siempre drogado.
    Masivo drogado.
  • 74:26 - 74:30
    - [Spreen] [Oh, you're high all the time?
    You live high?]
  • 74:32 - 74:35
    - [Slime] Sí. Es real.
  • 74:36 - 74:38
    Y siempre backflipo.
  • 74:38 - 74:40
    Whoa!
  • 74:40 - 74:42
    Hola, Maximus!
    (Maximus' audio stutters)
  • 74:43 - 74:43
    (Slime laughs)
  • 74:43 - 74:46
    - [Spreen] Eh?
    - [Slime] Couldn't have said it better myself.
  • 74:46 - 74:50
    - [Spreen] What the fuck? Desapareció.
    - [Slime] That was really crazy.
  • 74:52 - 74:55
    I think we're both on drugs.
  • 74:57 - 75:00
    - [Spreen] [I think something weird
    is happ-]
  • 75:04 - 75:06
    - [Slime] Holy fuck.
  • 75:07 - 75:10
    These drogados are crazy.
  • 75:10 - 75:15
    Estoy drogado as hell right now.
  • 75:20 - 75:23
    No es real.
    Es drogado.
  • 75:29 - 75:30
    All right.
  • 75:32 - 75:35
    We have to take a picture fast.
    The Spanish speakers are despawning.
  • 75:35 - 75:37
    Ah, fuck.
  • 75:37 - 75:39
    Juanaflippa.
  • 75:40 - 75:43
    That's okay.
    We'll take a picture when she gets back.
  • 75:43 - 75:46
    We'll just put this in here for now.
  • 75:46 - 75:47
    All right.
  • 75:47 - 75:49
    I'm gonna go.
  • 75:49 - 75:50
    You have a good night, Juanaflippa.
  • 75:50 - 75:53
    I assume you're just hiding there
    under the bed somewhere.
  • 75:54 - 75:56
    Juanaflippa!
  • 75:56 - 75:57
    Hang on.
  • 75:57 - 76:00
    Let me get the camera.
  • 76:01 - 76:03
    Juanaflippa.
  • 76:05 - 76:06
    Okay, are you ready?
  • 76:06 - 76:08
    We're gonna do a picture of you, okay?
  • 76:08 - 76:10
    Baby's first toy.
  • 76:12 - 76:14
    Yes!
  • 76:14 - 76:17
    Oh, you're looking yoked, Juanaflippa.
  • 76:17 - 76:20
    Okay, stand wherever you want
    the picture to be. Is it-?
  • 76:20 - 76:22
    In the fire is pretty good.
  • 76:23 - 76:25
    Oh, that's good.
  • 76:26 - 76:27
    Okay.
  • 76:27 - 76:30
    You want to move forward just a little
    and then look up towards the camera?
  • 76:35 - 76:37
    That's perfect.
    (camera clicks)
  • 76:38 - 76:41
    Oh, Juanaflippa, that came out great!
    Look at this!
  • 76:43 - 76:46
    I'm gonna put this camera in here so we
    don't lose it, okay?
  • 76:47 - 76:49
    Actually, I'll put it in the item frame.
  • 76:50 - 76:51
    There we go.
  • 76:52 - 76:54
    We're putting that
    right up on the wall.
  • 76:54 - 76:56
    That's going right up there.
  • 76:56 - 76:56
    Baby's first toy.
  • 76:56 - 76:59
    I'm so proud of you, Juanaflippa.
  • 77:02 - 77:03
    Do you like the color of your bed
  • 77:04 - 77:06
    or do you want to change it
    to something more you?
  • 77:08 - 77:09
    Before you go to bed.
  • 77:12 - 77:14
    You want to change it?
  • 77:15 - 77:16
    Yeah?
    Okay, okay.
  • 77:17 - 77:18
    Let's see.
  • 77:18 - 77:20
    What color is Juanaflippa?
  • 77:20 - 77:23
    What color do you want?
  • 77:26 - 77:30
    Okay, jump one time for red.
  • 77:31 - 77:35
    Jump one time for orange.
  • 77:35 - 77:38
    Jump one time for yellow.
  • 77:38 - 77:41
    Jump one time for green?
  • 77:41 - 77:44
    Jump one time for blue.
  • 77:44 - 77:47
    Blue!
    Oh, yay!
  • 77:47 - 77:48
    Juanaflippa, I was really hoping
    you'd say that
  • 77:48 - 77:51
    because we're kind of working a budget
    and that's really the only dye I had,
  • 77:51 - 77:54
    so you just made your papa very happy.
  • 77:54 - 77:55
    All right, here we go.
  • 77:55 - 77:58
    Let's make you a blue...
  • 78:00 - 78:01
    Juanaflippa,
    how do you-?
  • 78:01 - 78:03
    How do you make a-?
  • 78:04 - 78:05
    (Slime laughs)
  • 78:05 - 78:08
    All right, you sleep here.
    I gotta do some math.
  • 78:15 - 78:18
    Oh, I gotta-
    oh, shit.
  • 78:20 - 78:22
    Juanaflippa, can you tell
    I have the most hours on 1.8?
  • 78:22 - 78:24
    Okay, hang on.
  • 78:26 - 78:28
    There it is.
  • 78:28 - 78:30
    There you go, Juanaflippa.
  • 78:31 - 78:33
    You deserve to...
    you know.
  • 78:33 - 78:36
    Juanaflippa sleeps cold,
    so we like to set the room on fire.
  • 78:36 - 78:37
    There you go!
  • 78:38 - 78:42
    Yay!
    There's your new bed!
  • 78:45 - 78:48
    All right, and remember,
    backflips on the bed
  • 78:48 - 78:51
    are always allowed!
  • 78:51 - 78:53
    Yeah!
  • 78:53 - 78:57
    Oh, Juanaflippa,
    you keep it tight.
  • 78:58 - 79:00
    I'm gonna do this.
  • 79:04 - 79:06
    Yes.
  • 79:06 - 79:07
    Okay, hang on.
  • 79:07 - 79:10
    I gotta pop out a new move
    for you, Juanaflippa.
  • 79:13 - 79:14
    Sit, sit, shy, nervous,
  • 79:14 - 79:20
    selfie, Roblox potion dance,
    point, penguin, Orange Justice...
  • 79:25 - 79:26
    Item look.
  • 79:28 - 79:29
    Okay, none of these are
    as cool as backflip,
  • 79:30 - 79:30
    I'm not gonna lie.
  • 79:30 - 79:32
    All right, Juanaflippa.
  • 79:32 - 79:33
    Oh, hang on,
    there's a twerk, Juanaflippa.
  • 79:33 - 79:36
    Hang on, one sec.
    There's a twerk?
  • 79:37 - 79:40
    Oh shit.
    Juanaflippa, don't look at this.
  • 79:40 - 79:41
    Juanaflippa, you don't want to see this.
  • 79:42 - 79:42
    You don't want to see this.
  • 79:43 - 79:44
    I don't know how to stop.
  • 79:44 - 79:44
    Juanaflippa, I'm stuck.
  • 79:45 - 79:47
    I'm stuck in the animation.
    It has to fully play.
  • 79:47 - 79:49
    All right, please go to bed
  • 79:49 - 79:52
    and when your brain filters things,
    remove that.
  • 79:52 - 79:54
    That goes in the short-term memory,
    not the long term.
  • 79:54 - 79:57
    All right.
    Good night, Juanaflippa! I love you!
  • 79:58 - 79:59
    Stay yoked!
  • 80:01 - 80:02
    Wow.
  • 80:04 - 80:06
    All right.
  • 80:06 - 80:08
    I guess that's it.
  • 80:08 - 80:10
    We've done a good job.
  • 80:10 - 80:13
    We fed Juanaflippa her first bread,
  • 80:14 - 80:16
    took her on an adventure
  • 80:18 - 80:21
    courtesy of Satan from Hell,
  • 80:21 - 80:23
    taught her how to hunt,
  • 80:25 - 80:30
    and sang her a rap
    about the geriatric old man upstairs.
  • 80:30 - 80:33
    Beautiful.
    All right.
  • 80:33 - 80:38
    I think that's just about
    all you can ask for.
  • 80:39 - 80:41
    I'm a great parent.
  • 80:41 - 80:44
    And no one can argue with that.
  • 80:44 - 80:45
    Thank you guys so much for watching.
  • 80:45 - 80:48
    This is the wrong scene.
  • 80:51 - 80:53
    (laughs)
  • 80:53 - 80:55
    I don't know-
    I misclicked!
  • 80:55 - 80:57
    Thank you guys so much for watching,
  • 80:57 - 81:00
    and make sure to turn notifications on
  • 81:00 - 81:02
    so you don't miss the next stream.
  • 81:02 - 81:06
    I'm happy to say that my deal with Satan
    has had no long-term effects
  • 81:06 - 81:10
    on my mental or physical status.
  • 81:10 - 81:13
    Thank you all so much.
    Let's find someone to raid.
  • 81:15 - 81:17
    (laughs)
  • 81:18 - 81:20
    Who should we raid, chat?
  • 81:20 - 81:24
    Chat, who should we raid?
  • 81:26 - 81:30
    Can we raid Phil?
    Maybe that'll make him love me more.
  • 81:31 - 81:34
    Let's raid Phil.
    Hang on.
  • 81:35 - 81:37
    Is Phil even live?
  • 81:37 - 81:40
    Phil isn't live.
    Okay, hang on.
  • 81:41 - 81:44
    Is Max-?
    Okay, Maximus is live?
  • 81:45 - 81:48
    I'm so pissed that my wife
    didn't take care of our son.
  • 81:54 - 81:57
    What is Maximus' Twitch?
  • 82:03 - 82:05
    AgenteMaximus?
  • 82:05 - 82:07
    AgenteMaxo?
    AgenteMaxo.
  • 82:07 - 82:10
    All right, let's do that.
  • 82:10 - 82:13
    Thank you guys so much.
  • 82:13 - 82:15
    All right, let's raid there.
  • 82:16 - 82:18
    Thank you all so much
  • 82:18 - 82:20
    for coming to watch.
    I really appreciate it.
  • 82:20 - 82:22
    And all the first time chatters,
    thank you so much for showing up.
  • 82:23 - 82:24
    I hope you enjoyed the stream.
  • 82:24 - 82:27
    I hope everyone has a wonderful
    rest of their night.
  • 82:27 - 82:30
    And if Satan comes to you in a dream,
    take the deal,
  • 82:30 - 82:33
    because he'll give your kid a gun,
    and that's freaking based.
  • 82:33 - 82:34
    (laughs)
  • 82:34 - 82:38
    I will slime you later.
Title:
Slimecicle makes Minecraft Parenting Hilarious
Description:
more » « less
Video Language:
English
Duration:
01:22:43

English subtitles

Revisions

Our website uses cookies for analysis purposes.