WEBVTT
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Something has gone terribly,
00:00:04.000 --> 00:00:05.740
terribly,
00:00:05.780 --> 00:00:08.089
terribly wrong.
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My friends, mi amigos,
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there is, cómo se dice,
00:00:17.000 --> 00:00:19.765
a fucking problem.
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What do you think?
I just want to ask you.
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What do you think the problem is?
00:00:25.070 --> 00:00:26.500
What do you think the problem is?
00:00:26.540 --> 00:00:31.180
It's a problem with my Minecraft
daughter, Juanaflippa.
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Go ahead.
Guess.
00:00:32.210 --> 00:00:34.090
Guess what the problem is.
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"It died."
No.
00:00:37.900 --> 00:00:40.850
No, the problem is actually the opposite,
weirdly enough.
00:00:40.890 --> 00:00:42.140
Now, what would be the opposite
00:00:42.180 --> 00:00:44.690
of if I had a dead kid?
00:00:44.730 --> 00:00:46.710
What's the opposite of the problem there?
00:00:46.750 --> 00:00:47.600
Tell me.
00:00:47.640 --> 00:00:49.590
What's the opposite?
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It hatched.
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I mean, it might as well have,
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because I'll tell you
what the fucking problem is.
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I log onto this server today, right?
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I log onto this fucking server.
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(Slime sighs aggravatedly)
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Oh, can you guys hear?
Is the sound working?
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I don't think the sound's working.
One sec.
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All right.
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Okay, you can hear it now?
Great.
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Great, great, great.
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I log on to the server
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where my daughter, Juanaflippa, lives.
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And do you know what I do?
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I say, "Well, I wasn't on yesterday,
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but here's what I'll do,
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is I'll check the tasks to see.
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I'll check the task to see
what Juanaflippa needs done today."
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And I check the tasks,
because I haven't seen Mariana live today.
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And I check the tasks,
and I checked these yesterday night too,
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and they're all done.
00:02:04.790 --> 00:02:08.686
They're all done.
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Except I go to Twitch
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and I look up ElMariana
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and he's streamed,
but he hasn't streamed Minecraft.
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He hasn't streamed Minecraft.
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He has not been on the QSMP.
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Which begs the question:
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who the fuck is taking care of our child?
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Who is taking care of her?
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Who?
Because it hasn't been me.
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It hasn't been me.
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I'll tell you that fucking much.
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All right?
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I woke up in this closet.
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I mean, might as well
be like my fucking house-
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My fucking house is on fire!
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Jesus fucking Christ.
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Jesus Christ.
What is going on?
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How long have I been gone?
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What is that?
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What the fuck is that?
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Wh-?
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A fucking tree grew into my house.
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I was gone so long
my house caught on fire
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and a tree grew into it?
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I thought I was just gone
for two days.
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Who's been-?
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What's-?
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I installed this little fake hidden bookcase
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so that no one could reach Juanaflippa.
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(Charlie screams)
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Juanaflippa?
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Juanaflippa, who the fuck
has been taking care of you?
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It says all of your tasks are done.
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Did someone do all these things?
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Or did someone just come in here
and tick the box?
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What does that say?
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Feed?
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Juanaflippa-
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Juanaflippa, spin if someone has fed you.
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No one's fed you?
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Juanaflippa,
if someone's fed you, do a flippa.
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No one's fucking-
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Oh my God.
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Oh my God, I locked her up
up and no one could-
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These are just green.
No one's-?
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Juanaflippa, are you telling me
that no one's taken care of you
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for, like, two days?
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Oh, Juana!
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Juanaflippa, fuck!
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Fuck, fuck,
oh, shit!
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Oh shit!
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All right, Juanaflippa,
we're gonna make it out of this.
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All right, the first thing we gotta do
is we gotta feed you a new food.
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I'm so sorry.
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Here's this.
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Here's a hot meal to start you off.
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Here's a hot meal,
Juanaflippa.
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Oh, fuck!
Jesus Christ!
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Juanaflippa,
what are you doing?
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I know you're upset.
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I know you're upset,
but now's not the time.
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Okay,
I've gotta have some food in here.
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Oh, there's got to be something.
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There's got to be something
we can eat.
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Juanaflippa,
do you want an egg?
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You don't?
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Stop committing arson.
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I shouldn't have given you those fires.
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Hang onto that just in case.
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Ow.
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Okay, that's deserved.
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Juannaflippa, we gotta get you some food.
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Come with me.
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I'm so sorry.
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It said the tasks were done,
Juanaflippa, they were green!
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I came in and checked in on you last night.
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And you were in bed.
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I've gotta have some food in here, right?
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I've got some-
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Juanaflippa, you want some flint?
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Or, like, a dead bush?
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Or, like, a...
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I know your diet's not the same as mine.
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I've got some rabbit...
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skin.
I have rabbit s-
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Here we go.
Cooked mutton, Juanaflippa.
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All right,
don't accidentally click me with this,
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because I will die.
I'm also starving.
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Do you want me to chew it first?
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Here, I'll chew it first
and I'll spit it into your mouth.
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Only liquids, Juanaflippa.
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I've accidentally renamed you to a.
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Oh, fuck.
I'm so sorry.
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Where are you going?
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Eat your food.
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Don't be sad, Juanaflippa.
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What?
Did you go vegan?
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Did you go vegan while I was gone?
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Did you learn about animal cruelty?
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You did?
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Ah, fuck.
This is gonna make things a lot more-
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I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this,
Juanaflippa.
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I was hoping I wouldn't
have to give you an ethical childhood,
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but I see I have no choice.
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Juanaflippa, have you ever had-?
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Every time I look away, you die.
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Have you ever had bread before,
Juanaflippa?
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Have you ever had bread?
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Okay, jump if yes,
and crouch if no, okay,
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when I ask you these questions, Juan.
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Juana.
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All right, jump if you've had bread.
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Okay.
Jump if you've had...
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Oh shit.
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What other vegetables are there
besides bread?
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Jump if you've had fish.
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You haven't had fish?
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Okay.
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Well, we could do pescatarian, right?
00:08:12.810 --> 00:08:15.393
We could do pescatarian?
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Pescatarian's good.
00:08:18.790 --> 00:08:21.500
Okay, Juanaflippa,
I'm really sorry.
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I had no idea that all this was
happening.
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I would have come here sooner if I knew.
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Oh shit.
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I didn't realize
when I checked in on my daughter last night
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that she was withering away.
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All right, Juanaflippa.
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Here's the first lesson of the day.
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I'm going to teach you how to hunt.
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I'm going to teach you how to
hunt for your own food.
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Okay?
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Now, try not to pull that back
near Papa
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because Papa's rocking
three old hearts right now, okay?
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Three little hearts,
and it's not a lot for Papa.
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I'm gonna eat that meat.
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No! Jesus Christ!
00:08:59.900 --> 00:09:01.350
All right, you gotta
hang on to those, okay?
00:09:01.390 --> 00:09:03.640
You gotta hang on-
Oh my God!
00:09:03.680 --> 00:09:05.710
Juanaf-
you're a real ace with that, okay, but-
00:09:05.750 --> 00:09:08.280
Oh my God!
(panting)
00:09:08.620 --> 00:09:10.810
Okay, you've got the "Hola" sign,
00:09:10.850 --> 00:09:12.360
but Papa's gonna have the "Adios" sign
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if you shoot that
into his fucking cranium, okay?
00:09:16.100 --> 00:09:17.250
All right,
now take back your arrow.
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You're gonna need this.
00:09:18.750 --> 00:09:20.390
If you don't want that meat,
can Papa have it?
00:09:20.430 --> 00:09:21.885
I need to be strong.
00:09:22.900 --> 00:09:27.807
I need my 180 grams of protein a day
to stay big.
00:09:32.360 --> 00:09:35.032
Is this-?
Are we doing charades?
00:09:38.240 --> 00:09:41.227
That's the closet I've been sleeping in,
Juanaflippa.
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(laughs)
No, no, no!
00:09:46.950 --> 00:09:49.420
Juanaflippa, can I have the meat?
00:09:56.810 --> 00:10:00.282
Juanaflippa, I'm having a difficult time
understanding what your needs are.
00:10:05.100 --> 00:10:08.560
Juanaflippa, I need you
to communicate with me, okay?
00:10:15.730 --> 00:10:17.305
Give her a sign.
00:10:20.560 --> 00:10:23.529
Okay, I think I have some signs
I can give her.
00:10:24.330 --> 00:10:25.300
All right, here's some signs.
00:10:25.340 --> 00:10:27.424
Do you want to put some things on those?
00:10:30.040 --> 00:10:32.120
Some other perhaps needs?
00:10:32.370 --> 00:10:34.948
Can you write, Juanaflippa?
Can you write on those?
00:10:36.360 --> 00:10:37.580
You know,
I snuck up here last night
00:10:37.620 --> 00:10:39.270
and I added this picture of you and me
00:10:39.310 --> 00:10:42.659
and I didn't realize that you were starving
directly next to it.
00:10:43.300 --> 00:10:44.488
Oh!
00:10:46.340 --> 00:10:47.590
What?
00:10:47.930 --> 00:10:49.069
You know-
00:10:51.040 --> 00:10:52.850
Oh, fuck!
00:10:52.890 --> 00:10:55.200
Ow, ow, Flippa!
00:10:55.240 --> 00:10:56.520
Oh my God!
00:10:56.560 --> 00:10:59.480
Oh my God, my head,
my skull!
00:10:59.520 --> 00:11:01.501
Juanaflippa, come back!
00:11:03.110 --> 00:11:05.930
I have half a heart.
Come back.
00:11:06.220 --> 00:11:08.120
My daughter, I'm sorry.
00:11:08.160 --> 00:11:09.530
I'm sorry.
00:11:09.570 --> 00:11:11.184
I'm sorry.
00:11:12.660 --> 00:11:16.080
I'm sorry, I thought that someone
was taking care of you
00:11:16.120 --> 00:11:18.780
and I realize now that I was wrong
00:11:18.820 --> 00:11:22.780
and I shouldn't have trusted
these babysitter reports
00:11:22.820 --> 00:11:25.120
that said that you were taken care of.
00:11:29.020 --> 00:11:30.100
All right, Juanaflippa.
00:11:30.140 --> 00:11:31.967
I've got half a heart
00:11:32.070 --> 00:11:33.850
because you shot me right between the eyes.
00:11:33.890 --> 00:11:37.120
We're gonna go hunt, okay?
We're gonna go hunt you some fish.
00:11:37.160 --> 00:11:39.380
Now, I do need that meat back, okay,
00:11:39.420 --> 00:11:41.240
so that Papa can have
some more hearts,
00:11:41.280 --> 00:11:43.909
because that's the only food we have
in this house
00:11:46.070 --> 00:11:47.870
because my bitch of a wife
hasn't cooked-
00:11:47.910 --> 00:11:50.240
Juanaflippa, get the fuck back here!
00:11:50.280 --> 00:11:53.710
What are you doing?
You're gonna get yourself killed!
00:11:53.750 --> 00:11:56.950
(screams)
Juanaflippa, help!
00:11:56.990 --> 00:12:00.375
I broke my legs.
Juanaflippa!
00:12:00.550 --> 00:12:03.884
Flippa, help!
Help!
00:12:04.570 --> 00:12:06.294
Help!
00:12:07.880 --> 00:12:09.525
Help!
00:12:11.660 --> 00:12:13.137
Help!
00:12:16.670 --> 00:12:19.579
I gotta crawl away.
00:12:24.050 --> 00:12:27.030
Oh, this is a disaster.
00:12:27.070 --> 00:12:29.609
Where's our child?
00:12:31.260 --> 00:12:33.556
Flippa?
00:12:34.160 --> 00:12:35.647
Can you hear me?
00:12:36.230 --> 00:12:38.572
Flippa, Papa's bleeding out.
00:12:40.010 --> 00:12:42.500
Flippa, Papa's sort of
bleeding out right now.
00:12:42.540 --> 00:12:43.460
Papa's bones are sticking out.
00:12:43.500 --> 00:12:45.762
Can you come
put Papa's bones back in?
00:12:46.100 --> 00:12:47.630
Flippa?
00:12:50.180 --> 00:12:52.166
Flippa,
it would be great if you could-
00:12:52.860 --> 00:12:54.196
Uh-oh.
00:13:00.350 --> 00:13:01.886
Oh shit.
00:13:02.570 --> 00:13:03.939
Okay.
00:13:05.700 --> 00:13:07.630
That's good, I guess.
00:13:08.410 --> 00:13:09.901
Flippa?
00:13:14.690 --> 00:13:16.724
Where'd she go?
00:13:20.730 --> 00:13:22.154
(trader mumbles)
00:13:23.510 --> 00:13:25.412
Have you seen her?
00:13:30.870 --> 00:13:32.690
Bomb.
00:13:33.080 --> 00:13:36.070
Lamp oil? Rope? Bomb?
00:13:36.110 --> 00:13:37.804
Juanaflippa?
00:13:39.690 --> 00:13:41.275
Oh.
00:13:41.380 --> 00:13:42.711
Hey, Flippa.
00:13:44.400 --> 00:13:45.912
Hey.
00:13:48.060 --> 00:13:49.647
I'm sorry.
00:13:50.750 --> 00:13:52.627
I'm really sorry.
00:13:53.090 --> 00:13:55.015
I know you're dead.
00:13:56.040 --> 00:14:00.910
I know you want a new family
because we're a bit unique
00:14:00.950 --> 00:14:02.898
in how we function,
00:14:05.310 --> 00:14:09.700
but we, both me and your mother,
00:14:09.740 --> 00:14:11.990
neither of which have been here
for the past few days,
00:14:12.030 --> 00:14:14.171
love you very, very much.
00:14:17.940 --> 00:14:19.879
Seeds.
00:14:23.870 --> 00:14:24.890
Are you giving me back-?
00:14:24.930 --> 00:14:27.691
You're giving me back
the pictures we took?
00:14:31.190 --> 00:14:32.720
No, these were a gift.
00:14:32.760 --> 00:14:34.420
These were a gift to you, Flippa.
00:14:34.460 --> 00:14:36.818
You gotta take those.
00:14:42.490 --> 00:14:43.892
Fuck.
00:14:47.770 --> 00:14:50.120
Okay, Flippa, you stay right there.
00:14:50.160 --> 00:14:53.165
Can I have the bow?
I'm gonna get you some food.
00:15:00.560 --> 00:15:03.310
Flippa, is this for me?
00:15:03.350 --> 00:15:05.370
I don't really know if I deserve this.
00:15:05.410 --> 00:15:06.800
It is?
00:15:06.840 --> 00:15:09.999
Why, Flippa?
All I did was-
00:15:11.680 --> 00:15:13.543
(gasps)
00:15:14.310 --> 00:15:17.348
Okay.
No more words.
00:15:17.510 --> 00:15:19.170
Just flips.
00:15:19.210 --> 00:15:21.976
Just flips!
00:15:22.140 --> 00:15:23.870
Okay, Juanaflippa,
00:15:23.910 --> 00:15:25.000
I'll redeem myself.
00:15:25.040 --> 00:15:27.330
I'll redeem myself for you.
Just you wait.
00:15:27.370 --> 00:15:28.580
You stay right here.
00:15:28.620 --> 00:15:30.823
I'm gonna bring you back food, okay?
00:15:32.440 --> 00:15:34.220
Okay, you stay right here.
00:15:36.550 --> 00:15:37.450
Don't worry.
00:15:37.490 --> 00:15:39.445
You stay out of danger, okay?
00:15:40.130 --> 00:15:42.211
I'm gonna get you some food.
00:15:43.920 --> 00:15:46.156
I gotta make my daughter proud.
00:15:49.230 --> 00:15:53.989
I didn't realize I was
running a solo parenting act until now.
00:15:57.520 --> 00:16:00.790
I'm like Pedral Pesto in The Last of Us.
00:16:01.130 --> 00:16:03.359
Where's some fish?
00:16:03.850 --> 00:16:08.508
Where's some fish?
My daughter's hungry.
00:16:08.820 --> 00:16:13.834
I can't believe my fucking bitch
of a wife tricked me.
00:16:20.680 --> 00:16:24.460
I can't believe I got fucking tricked
into thinking that Juanaflippa
00:16:24.500 --> 00:16:26.392
was being taken care of.
00:16:26.900 --> 00:16:28.290
Shit!
00:16:28.610 --> 00:16:31.417
Oh God, this means
she's down a life, probably.
00:16:33.100 --> 00:16:35.140
Oh my God.
00:16:38.540 --> 00:16:40.020
Guys, I don't usually say this,
00:16:40.060 --> 00:16:42.735
but I think I might
have been a bad parent.
00:16:44.950 --> 00:16:47.315
There's got to be some food
around here somewhere.
00:16:52.310 --> 00:16:54.550
Maybe I can, like, fish?
Hang on.
00:16:54.590 --> 00:16:56.080
Do I have stick and string?
00:16:56.120 --> 00:16:57.941
I don't have enough string.
00:17:02.120 --> 00:17:03.785
Oh, shit.
00:17:04.830 --> 00:17:06.470
Oh God,
I have to be really careful here.
00:17:06.510 --> 00:17:07.968
Hang on.
00:17:13.150 --> 00:17:16.823
Oh, she's completely fucking vegan.
00:17:16.863 --> 00:17:20.120
Is pescatarian okay?
00:17:20.160 --> 00:17:22.990
Oh God, what's a vegan food?
00:17:24.450 --> 00:17:24.890
What farm?
00:17:24.930 --> 00:17:25.860
Is there a farm?
00:17:25.900 --> 00:17:28.458
Okay, maybe apples?
That's a good idea.
00:17:30.340 --> 00:17:31.540
I don't have any food myself.
00:17:31.580 --> 00:17:33.420
I have fucking one heart!
00:17:33.460 --> 00:17:36.470
Oh God!
00:17:36.510 --> 00:17:38.870
Flippa, I never had parents either.
00:17:38.910 --> 00:17:41.604
Does it show, Flippa?
00:17:46.440 --> 00:17:48.320
(screams)
00:17:48.360 --> 00:17:50.879
I'm not fast enough.
00:17:51.520 --> 00:17:53.183
(screams)
00:17:54.220 --> 00:17:57.898
Flippa!
Daughter, help!
00:17:57.960 --> 00:18:00.990
Daughter, it's time to learn to hunt!
00:18:01.310 --> 00:18:03.490
Hunt, daughter, please!
00:18:03.720 --> 00:18:05.753
(panting)
00:18:06.560 --> 00:18:08.724
All right, Flippa.
00:18:08.980 --> 00:18:11.950
All I've managed to get so far
is this rotten flesh,
00:18:11.990 --> 00:18:13.250
but I'm gonna get you something better, okay?
00:18:13.290 --> 00:18:14.440
I know you're a vegan
00:18:14.480 --> 00:18:16.060
and this barely counts
as meat anyway,
00:18:16.100 --> 00:18:18.925
so Papa's just
gonna stay strong.
00:18:22.840 --> 00:18:24.750
Okay, I'm gonna-
(coughs)
00:18:24.790 --> 00:18:27.731
get you some veggies, okay?
00:18:35.030 --> 00:18:36.666
Oh shit, fuck!
00:18:37.900 --> 00:18:41.260
Flippa, shoot it!
Shoot it, Flippa!
00:18:41.300 --> 00:18:44.921
Pull back the string
and then fire it!
00:18:45.910 --> 00:18:47.568
Good job, Flippa.
00:18:48.020 --> 00:18:51.014
Unassisted kill.
I'm proud of you.
00:18:51.840 --> 00:18:53.550
(laughs) Hola.
00:18:53.590 --> 00:18:54.880
Uh...
00:18:55.540 --> 00:18:56.951
Sorry.
00:18:57.350 --> 00:18:58.813
Flippa?
00:19:00.470 --> 00:19:02.120
Flippa, earmuffs on.
00:19:02.560 --> 00:19:03.950
Flippa, earmuffs on real quick.
00:19:03.990 --> 00:19:05.650
Can you just put earmuffs on?
00:19:11.850 --> 00:19:15.209
Was that Satan?
00:19:17.240 --> 00:19:19.825
Okay, Flippa, you can take your
earmuffs off.
00:19:21.600 --> 00:19:25.050
Flippa, I think I've been a bad parent
00:19:25.090 --> 00:19:27.152
because I'm seeing the devil.
00:19:27.980 --> 00:19:30.374
I'm seeing the devil everywhere I go.
00:19:31.360 --> 00:19:33.395
And for once, I don't mean your mother.
00:19:37.610 --> 00:19:38.900
Shit, where's-?
00:19:38.940 --> 00:19:40.330
(screams)
00:19:40.370 --> 00:19:43.431
Satan, begone!
00:19:44.270 --> 00:19:45.830
- [Rubius] Hello, my friend!
00:19:45.870 --> 00:19:47.940
¡Hola, mi amigo!
- [Slime] Hi.
00:19:47.980 --> 00:19:49.950
Hola, Satán.
00:19:49.990 --> 00:19:52.960
- [Rubius] Hola.
- [Slime] Hola, devil de infierno.
00:19:53.000 --> 00:19:56.000
Why are you here?
Why are you attacking me, Satan?
00:19:56.040 --> 00:19:59.130
Why are you attacking me with creepers?
- [Rubius] [I'm not attacking you.
00:19:59.170 --> 00:20:03.469
Can you understand what I'm saying?
Does the text show up over my head?]
00:20:04.570 --> 00:20:06.959
- [Slime] Yes it does, Satan.
00:20:07.060 --> 00:20:09.990
- [Rubius] [Oh, good.]
- [Slime] Your demonic conversion
00:20:10.030 --> 00:20:12.141
is working well.
00:20:12.330 --> 00:20:14.540
- [Rubius] Nice. Me gusta.
00:20:14.580 --> 00:20:17.167
I can talk to you in English
if you prefer.
00:20:18.270 --> 00:20:20.991
- [Slime] What do you think is more evil?
00:20:22.350 --> 00:20:25.330
- [Rubius] Spanish is more evil.
- [Slime] ¡Español mal!
00:20:25.370 --> 00:20:27.510
- [Rubius] Español es mucho más diabólico.
00:20:27.550 --> 00:20:30.459
- [Slime] Okay, español de diablo. Sí.
00:20:30.930 --> 00:20:34.746
- [Rubius] [Slime, I want you
to tell me something.]
00:20:36.450 --> 00:20:37.390
- [Slime] "Because the one I want you to-"
00:20:37.430 --> 00:20:39.420
Yeah, what's up?
00:20:39.760 --> 00:20:41.144
What's wrong?
00:20:42.140 --> 00:20:45.870
- [Rubius] [I want you to tell me
someone who's done something good for you
00:20:45.910 --> 00:20:48.888
and someone who's done
something bad to you.]
00:20:52.290 --> 00:20:53.550
- [Slime] Oh, okay.
00:20:53.590 --> 00:20:56.266
Someone who did something bad to me?
00:20:56.360 --> 00:20:57.510
- [Rubius] Yes.
00:20:57.550 --> 00:20:59.350
And someone that did
something good to you.
00:20:59.390 --> 00:21:01.353
- [Slime] Okay.
00:21:01.570 --> 00:21:05.772
I'll tell you who did something bad
to me, Satan.
00:21:06.780 --> 00:21:11.340
- [Rubius] Who?
- [Slime] My fucking bitch of a wife, El Mariana,
00:21:11.380 --> 00:21:15.186
who has not been here for our daughter!
00:21:15.270 --> 00:21:17.876
- [Rubius] Oh no.
Hey, wait.
00:21:17.930 --> 00:21:20.170
You were with Mariana
the other day we met.
00:21:20.210 --> 00:21:21.470
Oh, no.
I didn't meet you.
00:21:21.510 --> 00:21:24.857
- [Slime] No, you're thinking of Little Jesus.
00:21:25.020 --> 00:21:26.110
- [Rubius] Lil' Jesus? Who is that?
00:21:26.150 --> 00:21:28.008
¿Quién es Lil' Jesus?
00:21:28.780 --> 00:21:31.047
- [Slime] Well, you've heard of Jesus, right?
00:21:31.270 --> 00:21:32.740
- [Rubius] Yes.
- [Slime] Yeah, he's, like,
00:21:32.780 --> 00:21:35.786
a littler version of that, sort of.
00:21:37.330 --> 00:21:41.274
- [Rubius] Wait, how do I get
the translator on?
00:21:43.110 --> 00:21:46.260
- [Slime] Go ahead-
- [Rubius] Because I don't understand your language
00:21:46.300 --> 00:21:49.330
because I'm from Hell.
- [Slime] Yeah, because you're from Hell,
00:21:49.370 --> 00:21:51.350
where everyone speaks Spanish
00:21:51.390 --> 00:21:54.210
and there's a yellow filter
like Breaking Bad.
00:21:54.250 --> 00:21:56.513
So just go ahead and hit-
00:21:57.100 --> 00:21:58.910
Okay, tell you what.
00:21:58.950 --> 00:22:00.941
I'll tell you-
00:22:01.310 --> 00:22:03.750
I'll make a deal with you, Satan.
00:22:03.790 --> 00:22:06.126
I'll tell you where the button is
00:22:06.350 --> 00:22:10.420
if you can give me one dark blessing.
00:22:11.240 --> 00:22:12.360
- [Rubius] No.
00:22:12.400 --> 00:22:14.360
- [Slime] Ow! Ow!
What the fuck?
00:22:14.400 --> 00:22:15.800
Flippa, run!
00:22:15.840 --> 00:22:19.050
It's fucking snakes from Hell!
00:22:19.090 --> 00:22:19.710
Holy shit!
00:22:19.750 --> 00:22:23.110
- [Rubius] [That's not how I do things.
00:22:24.120 --> 00:22:27.691
I'm the one who makes the deals, not you.
- [Slime] No, no!
00:22:28.770 --> 00:22:30.390
- [Rubius] And now, I'm going to kill your egg.]
00:22:30.430 --> 00:22:32.680
- [Slime] You need me, Satan.
00:22:33.020 --> 00:22:36.210
- [Rubius] [Your egg needs to rescue you.]
- [Slime] You need me.
00:22:36.250 --> 00:22:38.790
Flippa, bring me back.
00:22:39.180 --> 00:22:40.340
Satan, stop!
00:22:40.380 --> 00:22:43.321
Leave Flippa out of this, Satan!
00:22:43.980 --> 00:22:46.315
Fuck! Shit!
00:22:46.810 --> 00:22:49.760
Why do you have so many fucking snakes?
00:22:49.800 --> 00:22:52.881
Why do you just carry around snakes?
00:22:55.130 --> 00:22:58.460
Flippa, Papa fell.
- [Rubius] Now I see.
00:22:58.500 --> 00:22:59.410
- [Slime] It's period.
00:22:59.450 --> 00:23:01.560
The fucking button is period.
00:23:01.600 --> 00:23:03.810
Satan, you're a dick.
00:23:03.850 --> 00:23:06.400
You're a fucking cock, Satan.
00:23:06.440 --> 00:23:10.250
Jesus is way cooler than you.
- [Rubius] [What?]
00:23:10.290 --> 00:23:12.635
No, no, no.
00:23:13.080 --> 00:23:16.616
Wait a minute, I found it.
- [Slime] Yes, he's way cooler.
00:23:20.320 --> 00:23:22.220
- [Rubius] Okay, speak.
00:23:22.260 --> 00:23:23.330
- [Slime] Okay. Whew.
00:23:23.370 --> 00:23:25.510
All right, I'm back up.
00:23:25.550 --> 00:23:27.720
No thanks to you.
00:23:27.760 --> 00:23:29.470
- [Rubius] "Vale, está bien,
he vuelto a levantarme, no gracias a ti."
00:23:29.510 --> 00:23:32.274
[Oh! This is incredible!
00:23:32.500 --> 00:23:34.818
Quackity's done it again!]
00:23:36.980 --> 00:23:38.887
- [Slime] What? Done what?
00:23:40.010 --> 00:23:41.490
- [Rubius] [Nothing, nothing.
00:23:41.530 --> 00:23:45.178
Okay.
Your egg is hungry.]
00:23:46.640 --> 00:23:48.130
- [Slime] Yeah, I know he's hungry.
00:23:48.170 --> 00:23:49.680
He's a vegetarian, Satan.
00:23:49.720 --> 00:23:51.970
Do you have any vegetables?
00:23:52.010 --> 00:23:56.233
From the garden of Hell?
- [Rubius] If you want...
00:23:56.740 --> 00:23:59.190
[Okay, I don't know why
I'm talking to you in English.]
00:23:59.230 --> 00:24:00.886
Sorry.
00:24:01.600 --> 00:24:04.450
[If you want me to feed your egg
00:24:04.490 --> 00:24:09.927
and give it unlimited life
00:24:10.120 --> 00:24:12.780
you'll have to do something for me.]
00:24:15.370 --> 00:24:17.900
- [Slime] Well, my egg's very hungry, so...
00:24:17.940 --> 00:24:20.470
I mean, I already did a favor
for Little Jesus,
00:24:20.510 --> 00:24:23.320
so I figure if I do a favor
for Little Satan,
00:24:23.360 --> 00:24:25.270
it'll probably be all-
It'll even out.
00:24:25.310 --> 00:24:27.371
Sure!
00:24:28.740 --> 00:24:29.940
And it can't have nuts in it.
00:24:29.980 --> 00:24:32.938
As long as it doesn't have nuts in it, okay?
00:24:34.700 --> 00:24:37.060
- [Rubius] "Siempre y cuando
no tenga frutos secos ¿de acuerdo?"
00:24:37.100 --> 00:24:39.901
[Okay, perfect.
Okay.
00:24:41.670 --> 00:24:45.110
What about the other thing
you asked me for?
00:24:45.150 --> 00:24:48.835
You asked me for something else.
Something dark.]
00:24:49.940 --> 00:24:52.387
- [Slime] Oh yeah.
00:24:53.890 --> 00:24:55.890
A dark boon.
00:24:55.930 --> 00:24:58.160
- [Rubius] Oh, sí.
- [Slime] Sí, sí.
00:24:58.200 --> 00:25:01.551
A deal.
- [Rubius] [Tell me.]
00:25:03.240 --> 00:25:06.220
- [Slime] A dark power.
00:25:06.990 --> 00:25:10.677
- [Rubius] [I can give you
immense dark power.
00:25:11.150 --> 00:25:13.300
But what kind of power do you want?]
- [Slime] I want to raise my daughter right,
00:25:13.340 --> 00:25:17.547
but I also want to
shoot fire out of my eyes, Satan.
00:25:18.140 --> 00:25:19.090
- [Rubius] [I can't do that.
00:25:19.130 --> 00:25:21.733
You have to ask for something
more realistic.]
00:25:23.410 --> 00:25:25.321
- [Slime] Okay.
00:25:26.270 --> 00:25:29.113
Can I shoot fire out of my...
00:25:31.040 --> 00:25:34.297
- [Rubius] [From your what?]
- [Slime] another orifice?
00:25:34.960 --> 00:25:38.515
My hands or ass.
00:25:38.730 --> 00:25:42.618
- [Rubius] [You want to shoot lasers
from your ass?]
00:25:44.690 --> 00:25:46.580
- [Slime] (laughs)
Yeah, I wanna-
00:25:46.620 --> 00:25:50.530
Satan, I wanna make a deal
and launch fire out of my a-
00:25:50.570 --> 00:25:54.010
Satan, can I have a gun?
(Rubius laughs demonically)
00:25:54.050 --> 00:25:56.202
Oh?
00:25:56.420 --> 00:25:59.004
- [Rubius] [What? Sorry.
Tell me.]
00:25:59.510 --> 00:26:01.930
- [Slime] Okay, well, Satan, should I-?
00:26:01.970 --> 00:26:04.090
I could ask for
shooting fire out of my ass,
00:26:04.130 --> 00:26:06.321
but I could also ask for-
00:26:06.600 --> 00:26:10.651
The voices in my head are telling me
to ask for a gun.
00:26:11.460 --> 00:26:14.990
- [Rubius] ["The voices in my head-"
Oh, you're schizophrenic.
00:26:15.030 --> 00:26:16.420
Interesting.
00:26:16.460 --> 00:26:19.528
I can help you with that.]
00:26:19.930 --> 00:26:22.390
- [Slime] Yeah, there's, like, thousands of them.
00:26:23.940 --> 00:26:25.910
- [Rubius] [All right. Cool.]
00:26:25.950 --> 00:26:29.130
- [Slime] I just want something
that no one else has, Satan.
00:26:29.170 --> 00:26:33.410
That'll put me a step above
the other parents.
00:26:33.450 --> 00:26:35.990
- [Rubius] [Okay.
Let me think about it for a second.
00:26:36.030 --> 00:26:37.870
Be right back.]
00:26:39.260 --> 00:26:41.400
- [Slime] Okay, Satan, you're coming.
00:26:41.440 --> 00:26:43.065
All right, that's a bit-
00:26:43.980 --> 00:26:48.880
- [Rubius] Estoy cumming.
- [Slime] Semen. El semen.
00:26:52.320 --> 00:26:54.882
Okay, he's hiding behind a tree.
00:26:55.300 --> 00:26:56.970
I know you're hungry.
00:26:57.010 --> 00:26:58.700
I know you're hungry, Flippa,
00:26:58.740 --> 00:27:01.849
but Daddy's making a deal with Satan
right now, okay?
00:27:02.280 --> 00:27:03.740
I know you're hungry.
00:27:03.780 --> 00:27:05.060
I'm just making a little deal with Satan
00:27:05.100 --> 00:27:07.055
to make sure you get all the food you need.
00:27:08.530 --> 00:27:09.340
Okay?
00:27:09.380 --> 00:27:11.350
Yeah, no, it's good.
00:27:11.390 --> 00:27:13.658
This is a very good man
00:27:14.450 --> 00:27:16.170
that Daddy's making a deal with, okay?
00:27:16.210 --> 00:27:18.371
Yes, yes.
00:27:21.930 --> 00:27:25.271
We're gonna see if we can
get you some food.
00:27:28.000 --> 00:27:29.300
Okay.
There used to be
00:27:29.340 --> 00:27:31.532
a farm over here, Flippa.
00:27:33.940 --> 00:27:34.430
Oh, shit.
00:27:34.470 --> 00:27:36.257
(gasps)
Flippa!
00:27:38.690 --> 00:27:41.173
That was incredible!
00:27:41.690 --> 00:27:43.762
That was incredible, Flippa!
00:27:46.330 --> 00:27:47.939
Flippa!
00:27:48.510 --> 00:27:50.502
You just saved my life!
00:27:51.070 --> 00:27:52.710
Holy shit!
00:27:54.910 --> 00:27:58.450
Flippa, you're a natural!
00:27:58.490 --> 00:28:01.215
Okay, here,
here's some more arrows for you.
00:28:02.480 --> 00:28:04.461
Here's some bones.
00:28:04.570 --> 00:28:05.930
I'll feed you.
You've earned it.
00:28:05.970 --> 00:28:07.470
You've earned it more.
00:28:07.510 --> 00:28:09.789
All right, Flippa, let's go this way.
00:28:12.480 --> 00:28:14.090
I think there's
some bread over here, Fli-
00:28:14.160 --> 00:28:15.731
Wait.
00:28:21.320 --> 00:28:23.564
Oh, that's perfect.
00:28:24.400 --> 00:28:26.270
That's perfecto.
00:28:31.950 --> 00:28:33.591
Here you go, Flippa.
00:28:34.610 --> 00:28:36.060
We break the bread.
00:28:36.100 --> 00:28:40.310
Hey, don't let Little Satan
see us breaking this bread, okay?
00:28:40.350 --> 00:28:42.479
I don't think he's a big fan
of that shit.
00:28:43.070 --> 00:28:44.853
You're still hungry?
00:28:46.400 --> 00:28:48.040
Oh God.
Okay.
00:28:49.960 --> 00:28:53.091
All right, let's look for some more.
00:29:03.250 --> 00:29:07.634
I'm starting to feel like I shouldn't have
asked Satan for a dark bargain.
00:29:08.710 --> 00:29:10.756
It's probably fine, but...
00:29:14.340 --> 00:29:16.932
Any apples in here?
00:29:18.000 --> 00:29:20.025
Any apples?
00:29:21.790 --> 00:29:25.168
Oh, use the bones for bone meal.
That's a good idea.
00:29:27.350 --> 00:29:29.671
Flippa, could I have those bones?
00:29:37.040 --> 00:29:39.989
Yeah?
Can I have those bones from earlier?
00:29:43.590 --> 00:29:45.152
Yeah!
00:29:46.250 --> 00:29:48.599
I just need some bones, Flippa.
00:29:50.420 --> 00:29:51.730
Okay, it's okay if you want to
hang onto them.
00:29:51.770 --> 00:29:53.383
All right.
00:29:53.470 --> 00:29:55.452
Thank you, Flippa.
00:29:56.030 --> 00:29:58.201
Okay, come with me.
I'll get you some more.
00:30:07.630 --> 00:30:10.229
I wonder what Satan's up to over there.
00:30:19.260 --> 00:30:21.550
Probably weird dark shit, huh?
00:30:27.270 --> 00:30:29.520
Sorry for swearing, Flippa.
I was just thinking about the devil.
00:30:29.560 --> 00:30:31.348
You know how it goes.
00:30:38.080 --> 00:30:40.080
Flippa, I'm so sorry you didn't get fed.
00:30:40.120 --> 00:30:42.349
Oh, Flippa's prone.
00:30:42.600 --> 00:30:44.187
There you go.
00:30:46.570 --> 00:30:49.193
Tell me if that's good, Flippa.
I'll keep getting you more.
00:31:02.320 --> 00:31:04.198
You want some more?
00:31:04.750 --> 00:31:05.090
Yes?
00:31:05.130 --> 00:31:07.097
Here you go.
00:31:08.160 --> 00:31:09.809
There you go.
00:31:12.510 --> 00:31:15.720
Yay! Juanaflippa!
00:31:15.760 --> 00:31:17.624
Whoo!
00:31:19.410 --> 00:31:21.180
¡El pan!
00:31:21.220 --> 00:31:23.953
All right, Juanaflippa.
Hell yes.
00:31:24.020 --> 00:31:26.120
Once we strike this dark bargain
with the devil,
00:31:26.160 --> 00:31:28.801
we'll never have to do that again.
00:31:32.610 --> 00:31:33.480
Okay.
00:31:33.520 --> 00:31:35.090
Oh, I should have asked him
00:31:35.130 --> 00:31:36.660
how to do a double backflip.
00:31:36.700 --> 00:31:39.950
I should have asked him how to do
six backflips at once.
00:31:39.990 --> 00:31:41.737
(gasps)
00:31:42.260 --> 00:31:43.830
Good shot, Juanaflippa.
00:31:43.870 --> 00:31:45.770
Yeah, Juanaflippa!
00:31:45.810 --> 00:31:48.130
That's my fucking daughter, you bitch!
00:31:48.170 --> 00:31:49.540
That's my fucking huevo!
00:31:49.580 --> 00:31:53.017
Yeah! Whoo!
00:31:53.430 --> 00:31:54.520
Juanaflippa, are-
00:31:54.560 --> 00:31:57.410
Okay, the cherry on top.
00:31:57.450 --> 00:31:59.010
Juanaflippa,
I think you've earned some more.
00:31:59.050 --> 00:32:01.268
I think you've earned some more bread.
00:32:03.220 --> 00:32:05.022
Oh my God.
00:32:06.030 --> 00:32:07.610
Wait, what is that?
00:32:07.750 --> 00:32:08.870
It's just flour?
00:32:08.910 --> 00:32:11.540
Okay, here you go.
Here's some more bread.
00:32:11.580 --> 00:32:15.019
¡El pan!
El pan para Juanaflippa.
00:32:17.110 --> 00:32:18.910
Is that a new food for you,
Juanaflippa?
00:32:18.950 --> 00:32:21.704
Have you had bread before?
00:32:27.020 --> 00:32:29.401
No?
It's a new food?
00:32:30.800 --> 00:32:33.542
Yay!
Okay, that's good!
00:32:33.650 --> 00:32:36.150
That's good.
That means we fed a baby a new food.
00:32:36.190 --> 00:32:37.943
That's great.
00:32:38.110 --> 00:32:39.181
Now we need to take the-
00:32:39.540 --> 00:32:42.070
we need to take you on an adventure.
Juanaflippa.
00:32:42.490 --> 00:32:46.717
And I have just the fucking thing.
00:32:47.070 --> 00:32:48.627
Juanaflippa,
00:32:49.210 --> 00:32:51.897
it's time for the training wheels
to come off.
00:32:52.240 --> 00:32:55.259
Yes, Juanaflippa, yes!
00:32:55.480 --> 00:32:57.340
Juanaflippa, today,
00:32:57.380 --> 00:32:59.173
Papa's gonna teach you
00:32:59.810 --> 00:33:02.375
how to ride a bike.
00:33:04.840 --> 00:33:06.440
All right, so here's how you do it.
00:33:06.480 --> 00:33:08.390
Here's how you do it, Juanaflippa.
00:33:08.430 --> 00:33:10.292
You just hop on like this.
00:33:10.690 --> 00:33:12.793
Get some speed going.
00:33:13.250 --> 00:33:15.320
Get some speed going,
ramp it, jump it,
00:33:15.360 --> 00:33:18.980
trick it, 360, 720, 720,
00:33:19.020 --> 00:33:20.770
backflip on the bike.
00:33:20.810 --> 00:33:21.500
I'm crazy.
00:33:21.540 --> 00:33:22.260
I'm going stupid.
00:33:22.300 --> 00:33:23.895
I'm going nuts.
00:33:25.110 --> 00:33:27.080
Grind it, grind the rail.
00:33:28.580 --> 00:33:30.190
Curve the edge, grind the rail,
00:33:30.230 --> 00:33:33.380
swerve it, clip back,
00:33:33.420 --> 00:33:35.672
glitch out,
trick it.
00:33:36.860 --> 00:33:37.820
Here we go.
Ride up the post.
00:33:37.860 --> 00:33:40.808
Ride the post.
Tony Hawk.
00:33:41.450 --> 00:33:43.336
Tony Hawk.
00:33:44.350 --> 00:33:46.210
I'm stuck.
00:33:46.250 --> 00:33:47.984
Clutch out.
00:33:50.230 --> 00:33:51.862
Through the building.
00:33:52.480 --> 00:33:54.800
Clip into the wall.
Break your bones.
00:33:54.840 --> 00:33:58.861
Up the hay.
00:33:59.150 --> 00:34:00.701
Up the hay.
Bail.
00:34:01.690 --> 00:34:03.500
Backflip.
00:34:04.860 --> 00:34:06.940
(gasps)
That's right, Juanaflippa!
00:34:06.980 --> 00:34:09.020
Now all you have to do is-
00:34:09.060 --> 00:34:10.580
Yeah, you're doing it!
00:34:10.620 --> 00:34:12.405
Do you need a little push?
00:34:13.570 --> 00:34:15.234
Let's do a little push.
00:34:15.400 --> 00:34:17.415
Yay!
00:34:20.560 --> 00:34:22.876
That was great, Juanaflippa!
00:34:22.920 --> 00:34:24.813
Okay, tell you what.
00:34:25.410 --> 00:34:26.640
I'll give you a treat.
00:34:26.680 --> 00:34:28.570
I'll give you a treat
if you can ride this bad boy
00:34:28.610 --> 00:34:30.524
all the way home.
00:34:34.200 --> 00:34:35.260
Uh-oh.
00:34:35.730 --> 00:34:38.440
Be gone, servants of Satan!
00:34:38.480 --> 00:34:41.490
Sorry, that's El Devil.
- [Rubius] ¡Amigo!
00:34:41.750 --> 00:34:43.560
- [Slime] Oh, Amigo!
00:34:43.600 --> 00:34:48.361
- [Rubius] [Dude,
I've found something in the slums.]
00:34:51.020 --> 00:34:53.850
- [Slime] "The best found hello in the slums?"
- [Rubius] Sorry, sorry.
00:34:53.890 --> 00:34:56.650
This is wrong.
- [Slime] What did you just say about my daughter?
00:34:56.690 --> 00:35:01.390
- [Rubius] No, no, wait.
- [Slime] How dare you, Satan.
00:35:01.680 --> 00:35:05.900
- [Rubius] [I've found something
that your daughter might like.
00:35:05.940 --> 00:35:08.407
She looks like she's going to like it.]
00:35:10.340 --> 00:35:13.288
- [Slime] Oh, this makes me very happy, Satan.
00:35:13.850 --> 00:35:15.940
- [Rubius] [Good, good.
But you'll have to do something.
00:35:15.980 --> 00:35:18.903
Something very evil.
Something horrible.]
00:35:19.610 --> 00:35:21.170
- [Slime] Yeah, that's cool.
Sure.
00:35:21.210 --> 00:35:22.804
What is it?
00:35:24.820 --> 00:35:27.980
- [Rubius] [You have to kill...
00:35:28.020 --> 00:35:30.166
someone else's egg.
00:35:30.230 --> 00:35:32.267
Whichever one you choose.]
00:35:33.700 --> 00:35:36.030
- [Slime] Oh.
Okay, sure.
00:35:36.070 --> 00:35:38.080
Second time's the charm. I guess.
00:35:38.120 --> 00:35:39.370
Yeah. Okay. Sure.
00:35:39.410 --> 00:35:41.775
- [Rubius] [You've already
done it once, right?]
00:35:45.040 --> 00:35:46.700
- [Slime] Yeah, no, I've-
00:35:46.740 --> 00:35:50.160
We've definitely never-
Yeah, that's nev-
00:35:50.200 --> 00:35:52.170
No, we've never done that before.
No, no, no.
00:35:52.210 --> 00:35:54.320
- [Rubius] [Oh, you've never done it.
Alright, perfect.
00:35:54.360 --> 00:35:58.940
What I'm going to give
you and your daughter
00:35:58.980 --> 00:36:01.360
is something very powerful,
00:36:01.590 --> 00:36:03.620
but you'll need to be careful,
because if not,
00:36:03.660 --> 00:36:06.485
you may end up leaving this world.]
00:36:09.420 --> 00:36:11.110
- [Slime] Okay.
00:36:11.150 --> 00:36:13.340
I'm gonna be very careful with it, Satan.
- [Rubius] [This is it.]
00:36:13.380 --> 00:36:14.510
- [Slime] Holy shit, okay.
All right.
00:36:14.550 --> 00:36:16.220
(gunshot)
(Slime screams)
00:36:16.260 --> 00:36:17.120
Flippa, put your hands up!
00:36:17.160 --> 00:36:19.490
Flippa, run!
- [Rubius] [As you can see, it's very powerful!]
00:36:19.530 --> 00:36:21.340
- [Slime] Flippa, throw the wallet
at him and run!
00:36:21.380 --> 00:36:24.671
- [Rubius] [You have to be careful!]
- [Slime] Throw the wallet at him and run!
00:36:25.670 --> 00:36:28.558
Oh my God.
Ow.
00:36:28.910 --> 00:36:30.309
- [Rubius] Yes.
00:36:30.360 --> 00:36:31.780
- [Slime] I like that.
- [Rubius] [I'll give it to you
00:36:31.820 --> 00:36:34.325
with just ten bullets.
00:36:35.760 --> 00:36:39.520
But you can keep the gun forever,
and you'll find out how to get bullets.]
00:36:39.560 --> 00:36:41.870
- [Slime] That's fair.
00:36:41.910 --> 00:36:46.120
I'm going to prove to my daughter
that I'm a good papa
00:36:46.160 --> 00:36:48.669
by giving her a loaded gun.
00:36:50.070 --> 00:36:51.840
- [Rubius] [Of course.
You are.]
00:36:51.880 --> 00:36:53.870
- [Slime] Thank you, Satan.
00:36:53.910 --> 00:36:58.350
- [Rubius] [Okay, if you don't do it
in fifteen minutes,
00:36:58.390 --> 00:37:01.470
killing someone else's egg,
00:37:01.510 --> 00:37:04.260
I'll kill your daughter
right in front of you.
00:37:04.300 --> 00:37:07.705
You have 15 minutes,
starting now.]
00:37:08.130 --> 00:37:09.230
Oh my god!
Oh shit!
00:37:09.270 --> 00:37:11.440
Flippa, we gotta go!
00:37:12.560 --> 00:37:15.290
Oh, fuck, Flippa!
We have 15 minutes!
00:37:15.330 --> 00:37:17.760
I'm not losing you again, Flippa.
00:37:20.230 --> 00:37:23.600
Who would have thought?
That Satan guy's a little shady, huh?
00:37:25.410 --> 00:37:26.560
I'm sorry, Flippa,
I just gotta-
00:37:26.600 --> 00:37:28.270
I just gotta bake some bread
real quick.
00:37:28.310 --> 00:37:30.820
So Papa's got all the hardiness he needs
00:37:30.860 --> 00:37:34.458
to kill someone else's child.
00:37:34.860 --> 00:37:37.170
You can't tell your mother about this, okay?
00:37:37.210 --> 00:37:39.140
You can't tell your mother
that I joined the mafia
00:37:39.180 --> 00:37:41.750
and then killed someone else's son.
00:37:41.790 --> 00:37:43.834
All right, Flippa.
00:37:44.030 --> 00:37:45.330
The other quest today
00:37:45.370 --> 00:37:49.960
was to go on a new adventure, okay?
00:37:50.000 --> 00:37:51.980
And now, our new adventure
is a little special one
00:37:52.020 --> 00:37:54.588
that Satan gave us.
00:37:55.960 --> 00:38:00.644
We're gonna go put
Phil's kid to supersleep, okay?
00:38:00.934 --> 00:38:03.150
We're gonna put him to sleep.
00:38:04.620 --> 00:38:07.662
We're gonna put him in a really deep slumber.
00:38:09.670 --> 00:38:13.430
It's okay, Phil is a great father.
00:38:13.470 --> 00:38:15.640
If anything, this will teach him
that life is precious.
00:38:15.680 --> 00:38:18.956
This is probably what's best for him.
00:38:23.060 --> 00:38:25.440
Okay, we taught Flippa how to hunt,
00:38:25.480 --> 00:38:30.498
and every good hunter needs some prey.
00:38:33.730 --> 00:38:36.010
Oh, I'm harvesting this shit.
00:38:38.620 --> 00:38:40.642
Okay, up this way, Flippa.
00:38:40.920 --> 00:38:43.456
Take all the stuff you want
if you want it.
00:38:47.900 --> 00:38:49.956
Okay, here we go.
00:38:50.450 --> 00:38:52.497
All right, Flippa,
do you have blocks?
00:38:53.020 --> 00:38:56.513
Flippa, we're gonna have to
teach you how to bridge.
00:38:58.210 --> 00:39:00.020
So here's what we're gonna do, Flippa.
00:39:02.410 --> 00:39:05.050
You're gonna come out here,
stand next to Papa.
00:39:05.090 --> 00:39:08.525
You're gonna jump and place those blocks, okay?
00:39:10.050 --> 00:39:12.680
And I already know you can water bucket.
00:39:12.720 --> 00:39:14.580
Oh fuck, Philza just logged on.
00:39:20.960 --> 00:39:23.649
Oh, this is really bad.
00:39:24.930 --> 00:39:27.550
Go!
Flippa, go!
00:39:27.590 --> 00:39:30.067
Go, go, go!
Flippa, go!
00:39:32.800 --> 00:39:35.384
We have to be so fast!
00:39:36.640 --> 00:39:38.314
- [Phil] Oh, hey, Charlie.
00:39:39.240 --> 00:39:40.590
- [Slime] Hey, Phil.
- [Phil] Can you hear me?
00:39:40.630 --> 00:39:41.570
Oh, there we go.
00:39:41.610 --> 00:39:43.710
- [Slime] Yeah, wait, sorry,
did you say something?
00:39:43.750 --> 00:39:46.420
I can't hear you for some reason.
00:39:46.460 --> 00:39:50.767
- [Phil] Hello?
- [Slime] Hello?
00:39:51.450 --> 00:39:53.130
Can you hear me, Phil?
00:39:53.170 --> 00:39:54.791
- [Phil] Yeah.
00:39:54.920 --> 00:39:56.620
- [Slime] You're glitching out.
00:39:56.660 --> 00:39:59.839
It's just, like, choppy
for some reason.
00:40:05.830 --> 00:40:09.205
I got this issue earlier.
You might have to re-log.
00:40:25.550 --> 00:40:27.486
Phil, can you hear me?
00:40:28.500 --> 00:40:30.885
- [Phil] Yeah.
- [Slime] Can you hear me?
00:40:33.650 --> 00:40:35.351
Hello?
00:40:38.450 --> 00:40:40.290
- [Phil] Hello?
- [Slime] Hey.
00:40:40.330 --> 00:40:42.894
I think I can hear you now.
Is it working?
00:40:43.300 --> 00:40:45.120
- [Phil] Yeah.
- [Slime] Oh, sweet.
00:40:45.160 --> 00:40:46.997
How's it going, man?
00:40:48.010 --> 00:40:49.910
- [Phil] Good.
Where's, uh...
00:40:50.290 --> 00:40:52.380
where's my egg?
00:40:52.420 --> 00:40:55.170
- [Slime] What?
- [Phil] Where's my egg?
00:40:55.210 --> 00:40:56.210
- [Slime] I was just
teaching Flippa
00:40:56.250 --> 00:40:59.449
how to bridge up here.
00:41:04.350 --> 00:41:07.601
- [Phil] Charlie?
- [Slime] Yes, Phil?
00:41:09.270 --> 00:41:11.557
- [Phil] Where is Chayanne?
00:41:11.660 --> 00:41:14.951
- [Slime] Maybe your wife took her out
00:41:16.560 --> 00:41:19.853
for the day.
- [Phil] He was right behind you
00:41:21.710 --> 00:41:24.130
- [Slime] I don't-
- [Phil] when I logged in.
00:41:24.170 --> 00:41:25.100
- [Slime] Yeah, but you were-
00:41:25.140 --> 00:41:27.554
what, when you were glitching out?
00:41:35.980 --> 00:41:38.802
- [Phil] Charlie, tell me what you did.
- [Slime] Flippa.
00:41:38.930 --> 00:41:41.204
I need you to take this paraglider
00:41:42.510 --> 00:41:44.849
and I need you to fly.
- [Phil] Charlie...
00:41:45.040 --> 00:41:48.550
- [Slime] I need you to fly far away.
- [Phil] Charlie, I can literally hear you.
00:41:48.590 --> 00:41:51.100
Charlie, I can literally hear
what you're saying.
00:41:51.140 --> 00:41:52.870
- [Slime] Flippa, it's looking like
00:41:52.910 --> 00:41:54.879
he thinks that we
did something-
00:41:55.050 --> 00:41:58.270
Hey, dude, not cool, man.
- [Phil] "Not cool?!"
00:41:58.310 --> 00:41:59.530
- [Slime] Flippa, you gotta-
00:42:00.160 --> 00:42:01.220
Flippa, bri-
00:42:01.260 --> 00:42:03.424
Yes, Flippa!
00:42:03.800 --> 00:42:05.450
I was really worried she would-
00:42:05.490 --> 00:42:08.322
Oh fuck!
She's got no stamina!
00:42:08.362 --> 00:42:10.663
She's gassed.
00:42:11.740 --> 00:42:15.558
God, I am so proud of my daughter.
00:42:16.200 --> 00:42:21.070
- [Phil] Mm-hmm.
- [Slime] And I think that every parent
00:42:21.110 --> 00:42:27.288
should aspire to feel that way.
00:42:29.580 --> 00:42:34.300
- [Phil] Yeah, I would if my kid was in his bed
00:42:34.340 --> 00:42:35.580
where I left him.
00:42:35.620 --> 00:42:36.390
- [Slime] Well, you know,
00:42:36.430 --> 00:42:41.860
this is about when
that rebellious phase strikes, usually.
00:42:41.900 --> 00:42:45.010
So maybe- I mean,
have you tried looking around and seeing-?
00:42:45.050 --> 00:42:48.560
Mine sneaks off and does backflips sometimes.
00:42:51.690 --> 00:42:54.273
What's that?
- [Phil] Charlie, get out of here.
00:42:54.980 --> 00:42:56.650
Get out of here
before I do something I'll regret.
00:42:56.690 --> 00:42:57.760
- [Slime] Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Okay.
00:42:57.800 --> 00:43:01.349
All right, listen, man,
I don't know where your kid is, okay?
00:43:01.830 --> 00:43:03.940
I don't know where they are.
- [Phil] Stop griefing my house!
00:43:03.980 --> 00:43:05.860
- [Slime] I'm not griefing!
00:43:05.900 --> 00:43:08.250
I'm looking for
a puddle of water to jump into!
00:43:08.290 --> 00:43:10.030
Whoo!
00:43:13.780 --> 00:43:16.935
Oh shit!
Oh shit!
00:43:17.470 --> 00:43:19.725
(phantom screeches)
Oh shit!
00:43:26.680 --> 00:43:29.583
Satan!
00:43:30.570 --> 00:43:33.028
Come to me, Satan!
00:43:33.910 --> 00:43:37.030
I've done your dark task!
00:43:37.640 --> 00:43:40.866
I've done your dark task, goddammit!
00:43:40.930 --> 00:43:42.970
In front of my fucking friend!
00:43:43.010 --> 00:43:45.170
I know you set me up, Satan.
00:43:45.210 --> 00:43:47.080
Oh shit, who's that?
00:43:50.840 --> 00:43:52.286
Who's that?
00:43:53.690 --> 00:43:55.920
(relieved exhale)
Flippa.
00:43:55.960 --> 00:43:58.236
Okay, back to your room, Flippa.
00:44:02.080 --> 00:44:03.650
In there, Flippa.
00:44:04.500 --> 00:44:06.092
Oh shit, hang on.
00:44:06.560 --> 00:44:09.030
- [Rubius] (deep, distorted voice)
[Knock knock.]
00:44:09.070 --> 00:44:12.080
- [Slime] ¡Hola, mi amigo!
00:44:12.120 --> 00:44:14.250
- [Rubius] [Knock knock!]
- [Slime] Can you not come in
00:44:14.290 --> 00:44:16.920
unless I open it,
like a vampire?
00:44:17.470 --> 00:44:20.300
- [Rubius] [Yeah, exactly.
Listen.]
00:44:20.340 --> 00:44:23.100
- [Slime] Hola, amigo.
- [Rubius] [You can't tell anybody
00:44:23.140 --> 00:44:25.305
about my existence.
00:44:25.800 --> 00:44:27.696
(normal)
Do you understand?]
00:44:28.220 --> 00:44:29.780
- [Slime] Oh, hang on.
00:44:29.820 --> 00:44:32.010
Move-
- [Rubius] Okay, no, I'll tell you in English.
00:44:32.050 --> 00:44:35.520
You cannot tell about my existence
to anyone.
00:44:35.560 --> 00:44:37.190
If you ever do-
- [Slime] Oh, fuck.
00:44:37.230 --> 00:44:40.360
- [Rubius] I will kill you,
kill your family,
00:44:40.400 --> 00:44:41.600
burn your house,
00:44:41.640 --> 00:44:45.540
and take everything from you
and send you back to Hell.
00:44:45.580 --> 00:44:46.620
- [Slime] What do you mean, back to Hell-?
00:44:46.660 --> 00:44:49.583
Oh fuck, am I from Hell?
- [Rubius] Yes.
00:44:49.680 --> 00:44:51.750
Maybe we are all from Hell.
00:44:51.790 --> 00:44:53.900
We are all from Heaven.
- [Slime] This changes my world view.
00:44:53.940 --> 00:44:56.450
I was really hoping I could just tell Phil
that Satan made me do it,
00:44:56.490 --> 00:44:58.080
so now I'm gonna need to
think of another alibi.
00:44:58.120 --> 00:45:00.849
- [Rubius] No, you cannot tell him.
If you tell him,
00:45:01.280 --> 00:45:02.590
you know what's going to happen, right?
00:45:02.630 --> 00:45:03.850
- [Slime] Yeah, you're going to
burn my house
00:45:03.890 --> 00:45:07.040
and send me back to Hell, Satan.
- [Rubius] Exactly.
00:45:07.080 --> 00:45:08.160
And you don't want that, trust me.
00:45:08.200 --> 00:45:10.660
- [Slime] No, I don't want to
go back to Hell, Satan.
00:45:10.700 --> 00:45:13.390
- [Rubius] Yes, yes. Okay.
The deal is on.
00:45:13.430 --> 00:45:17.165
- [Slime] And I don't want Juanaflippa
to be without a papa again.
00:45:17.390 --> 00:45:18.765
- [Rubius] What?
00:45:19.580 --> 00:45:22.270
- [Slime] What do you mean, what?
- [Rubius] What did you say?
00:45:22.310 --> 00:45:25.580
- [Slime] I said I don't want Juanaflippa
to be without a papa.
00:45:25.620 --> 00:45:27.290
- [Rubius] Oh, no, of course not.
00:45:27.330 --> 00:45:30.221
¿Dónde está Juanaflippa?
Where is she?
00:45:30.320 --> 00:45:32.690
- [Slime] You don't need to know that, Satan.
00:45:32.730 --> 00:45:33.790
That information-
- [Rubius] Yes I do.
00:45:33.830 --> 00:45:34.370
Tell me!
- [Slime] Hey, hey, hey!
00:45:34.410 --> 00:45:35.700
That's information's not nec-
00:45:35.740 --> 00:45:38.370
Jesus Christ,
that's an actual bullet hole.
00:45:38.410 --> 00:45:40.780
- [Rubius] This is for Juanaflippa.
00:45:40.820 --> 00:45:43.240
- [Slime] You're gonna shoot Juana-?!
You're gonna put a fucking bullet in my daughter?
00:45:43.280 --> 00:45:45.180
- [Rubius] I don't wanna shoot her!
I am a loyal guy!
00:45:45.220 --> 00:45:48.750
If you do the quest,
I will deliver.
00:45:48.790 --> 00:45:49.920
- [Slime] Okay.
- [Rubius] But tell me.
00:45:49.960 --> 00:45:50.780
Where is she?
00:45:50.820 --> 00:45:53.310
- [Slime] All right. Okay.
- [Rubius] ¿Dónde está?
00:45:53.350 --> 00:45:55.120
- [Slime] She's right in here, Satan.
00:45:55.160 --> 00:45:57.040
But hey, I don't want you-
00:45:57.080 --> 00:46:01.742
You seem like you're gonna be
a real bad influence to my daughter.
00:46:01.960 --> 00:46:04.390
- [Rubius] Sí.
- [Slime] So how about this?
00:46:04.430 --> 00:46:07.700
Because I know you can't
come in unless I invite you.
00:46:07.740 --> 00:46:08.560
You told me that.
You can't-
00:46:08.600 --> 00:46:11.560
Hey! Oh, shit!
- [Rubius] Yes I can.
00:46:11.600 --> 00:46:12.850
I'm the devil.
I'm not stupid.
00:46:12.890 --> 00:46:14.440
- [Slime] Fuck, he's the devil!
Fuck, you lied about it!
00:46:14.480 --> 00:46:16.560
You're the fucking devil.
I should have known.
00:46:16.600 --> 00:46:19.613
All right.
Juanaflippa's this way.
00:46:20.020 --> 00:46:21.530
Oh fuck.
I didn't think about that.
00:46:21.570 --> 00:46:23.330
The devil would just lie to me.
00:46:23.370 --> 00:46:24.690
Hey, Juanaflippa.
- [Rubius] I need-
00:46:24.730 --> 00:46:27.050
[Oh, Juanaflippa, my love!
How are you?]
00:46:27.090 --> 00:46:28.210
- [Slime] Don't be scared,
Juanaflippa,
00:46:28.250 --> 00:46:30.581
it's not CPS.
00:46:30.621 --> 00:46:32.600
It's just Satan.
- [Rubius] [Don't be scared.]
00:46:32.640 --> 00:46:34.642
- [Slime] It's just Satan from Hell.
00:46:35.350 --> 00:46:38.640
This is a family friend
of me and your mother's.
00:46:38.680 --> 00:46:40.800
- [Rubius] [Flippa, this is for you, okay?
It only has ten bullets.]
00:46:40.840 --> 00:46:43.130
- [Slime] Hey, don't point that shit
at her, man.
00:46:43.170 --> 00:46:44.200
- [Rubius] Hey, hey!
00:46:44.240 --> 00:46:46.280
[I do what I want!]
- [Slime] Ow!
00:46:46.320 --> 00:46:48.620
- [Rubius] [You relax.
We made a deal.
00:46:48.660 --> 00:46:50.230
This is for her.]
00:46:50.270 --> 00:46:51.260
- [Slime] I don't know what you're saying.
00:46:51.300 --> 00:46:53.870
You shot me and then
started speaking Spanish.
00:46:53.910 --> 00:46:56.100
It's a deal for her?
- [Rubius] [Translate it, asshole!
00:46:56.140 --> 00:46:58.000
It's a deal.
Look, look.]
00:46:58.040 --> 00:46:59.700
Can you read now?
00:46:59.820 --> 00:47:02.039
Look up.
- [Slime] Sí, sí.
00:47:02.350 --> 00:47:06.680
- [Rubius] [All right, so
we made a deal, and the gun is for her.
00:47:06.790 --> 00:47:08.490
It only has ten bullets.
00:47:08.530 --> 00:47:11.800
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine...]
00:47:11.840 --> 00:47:14.220
- [Slime] Diez.
- [Rubius] Diez.
00:47:14.260 --> 00:47:17.870
Hey, why don't we do something fun?
00:47:17.910 --> 00:47:20.260
Why don't you make Flippa...
00:47:20.300 --> 00:47:22.980
- [Slime] Oh God.
- [Rubius] shoot the other guy,
00:47:23.020 --> 00:47:25.955
the father of the other egg?
- [Slime] (laughs)
00:47:26.060 --> 00:47:28.010
Satan-
no, no, Juanaflippa!
00:47:28.050 --> 00:47:28.980
- [Rubius] (deep, distorted)
Yes, yes, yes.
00:47:29.020 --> 00:47:30.220
- [Slime] No, don't flip about that.
00:47:30.260 --> 00:47:33.570
- [Rubius] Just a little shoot.
Un pequeño disparito.
00:47:33.610 --> 00:47:35.390
- [Slime] Oh, shit.
00:47:35.430 --> 00:47:37.410
Listen, Satan.
- [Rubius] (normal) Yes?
00:47:37.450 --> 00:47:38.600
- [Slime] We made a deal, okay?
00:47:38.640 --> 00:47:40.140
We made a deal
and that was the deal.
00:47:40.180 --> 00:47:42.450
- [Rubius] Aw...
- [Slime] So unless you've got something
00:47:42.490 --> 00:47:44.210
to sweeten the pot here,
that's it, all right?
00:47:44.250 --> 00:47:47.410
We're done.
- [Rubius] No, this was just fun.
00:47:47.450 --> 00:47:50.400
The deal is done,
but this was just extra fun.
00:47:50.440 --> 00:47:52.800
But if you don't want to...
- [Slime] No.
00:47:52.840 --> 00:47:55.160
I think Juanaflippa now has-
00:47:55.200 --> 00:47:58.100
We're not gonna waste those bullets
on aggression, okay?
00:47:58.140 --> 00:47:59.340
We're gonna take care of ourselves
out here.
00:47:59.380 --> 00:48:01.730
So thank you, Satan,
for that.
00:48:01.770 --> 00:48:03.180
I appreciate it.
- [Rubius] Mm-hmm.
00:48:03.220 --> 00:48:04.260
- [Slime] Dap me up
00:48:04.300 --> 00:48:06.300
and I'll probably see you eventually
00:48:06.340 --> 00:48:09.494
in the seventh ring, brother.
00:48:10.750 --> 00:48:12.640
- [Rubius] [Perfect.
We'll see each other soon.
00:48:12.680 --> 00:48:15.588
It's been a pleasure.]
- [Slime] Say hi to little Jesus for me.
00:48:20.500 --> 00:48:23.013
(Slime sighs in relief)
00:48:23.990 --> 00:48:24.620
All right Juana-
00:48:24.930 --> 00:48:28.310
okay, wait, wait!
I'm sorry.
00:48:28.350 --> 00:48:32.168
I'm sorry I wasn't there for you.
00:48:33.480 --> 00:48:37.610
"Yeah, sorry, just a glitch.
00:48:37.650 --> 00:48:40.190
Looks like...
00:48:43.360 --> 00:48:47.863
weird stuff
happening on the server.
00:48:52.050 --> 00:48:56.750
Thought Flippa despawned for a sec.
00:48:58.080 --> 00:49:06.871
Try re-logging,
that might have happened to yours."
00:49:10.210 --> 00:49:13.072
Okay, Juanaflippa.
All right.
00:49:14.190 --> 00:49:15.780
You know, I'd say that today,
00:49:15.820 --> 00:49:18.631
we gave you a new food.
00:49:21.240 --> 00:49:23.120
And if a taste of Hell counts,
that too.
00:49:23.160 --> 00:49:25.660
We took you on
quite the adventure.
00:49:25.700 --> 00:49:26.840
I'd say we taught you a new skill.
00:49:26.880 --> 00:49:31.763
We really got your aim worked on,
which now I'm feeling pretty good about.
00:49:33.260 --> 00:49:36.269
And let's see, there's one last one here.
00:49:36.350 --> 00:49:39.351
"Sing the baby a lullaby."
00:49:40.030 --> 00:49:43.080
Yeah!
Okay, we can do a lullaby.
00:49:43.120 --> 00:49:48.080
Let me if I can find
a nice backing track for you, Flippa.
00:49:48.120 --> 00:49:48.930
- "We got new plushies-"
00:49:48.970 --> 00:49:51.812
- [Slime] That's just my video.
Hang on.
00:49:53.240 --> 00:49:54.490
Okay, one sec.
00:49:54.530 --> 00:49:57.560
I'm gonna find a nice little
background track for you, Flippa.
00:49:57.600 --> 00:49:59.390
Can you just give me one sec?
00:49:59.830 --> 00:50:01.190
Yeah, Flippa!
00:50:01.230 --> 00:50:03.660
All right,
talk to the stream for a sec, Flippa.
00:50:03.700 --> 00:50:05.707
I gotta find something.
00:50:08.610 --> 00:50:11.440
(Slime typing)
00:50:24.040 --> 00:50:25.649
Is this what I want?
00:50:26.700 --> 00:50:30.672
Hang on.
00:50:32.610 --> 00:50:34.390
This is a Glock type beat.
00:50:34.430 --> 00:50:37.380
(Slime skipping through
a rap backing track)
00:50:37.420 --> 00:50:40.470
I want a beat with actual gunshots in it.
00:50:40.510 --> 00:50:43.200
(acoustic guitar)
00:50:43.240 --> 00:50:45.640
I want a rap beat with gunshots.
00:50:45.680 --> 00:50:48.890
Does anyone have a rap beat
with gunshots in it?
00:50:48.930 --> 00:50:50.030
Hang, on what about this one?
(Slime skipping through track)
00:50:50.610 --> 00:50:52.649
(gunshot sound effect)
Oh.
00:50:54.170 --> 00:50:56.840
(Slime laughs)
Okay, all right.
00:50:56.880 --> 00:50:59.216
Hang on, Juanaflippa.
00:51:02.570 --> 00:51:04.610
All right, one sec.
00:51:04.650 --> 00:51:07.161
What is Kitchen Gun?
00:51:10.270 --> 00:51:12.768
Kitchen Gun Epic Remix?
00:51:13.200 --> 00:51:14.240
No, we're not doing that.
00:51:14.280 --> 00:51:16.630
We're doing gunshot-type beat.
00:51:16.670 --> 00:51:21.189
Okay, Juanaflippa, I just got to
convert this to MP3 real quick.
00:51:22.470 --> 00:51:24.360
Which, is that strictly legal?
I don't know.
00:51:24.400 --> 00:51:27.856
But we just made a deal with Satan earlier,
so it's probably cool.
00:51:33.900 --> 00:51:35.820
(someone places a block)
00:51:36.510 --> 00:51:37.720
Is this Kitchen Gun?
00:51:37.760 --> 00:51:41.940
(♪: "3 BIG SHOTS FROM [KITCHEN GUN]")
00:51:41.980 --> 00:51:44.804
(Charlie laughs)
00:51:47.990 --> 00:51:49.960
Is that not it?
00:51:50.280 --> 00:51:51.640
Is this it?
00:51:51.680 --> 00:51:56.371
(♪: "Kitchen Gun Remix")
00:51:56.420 --> 00:51:57.570
Or is that it?
00:51:57.610 --> 00:51:59.496
Which one is it?
00:52:03.210 --> 00:52:05.750
We're gonna do the Big Shot one
so I can sing along to it.
00:52:07.980 --> 00:52:09.984
Okay, ready?
00:52:10.600 --> 00:52:11.990
I'm just gonna download it
and put in my sampler
00:52:12.030 --> 00:52:14.020
so I can sing it to Juanaflippa.
00:52:14.060 --> 00:52:16.000
And then Juanaflippa,
we're gonna need to bail out
00:52:16.040 --> 00:52:16.940
and we're probably gonna need to move
00:52:16.980 --> 00:52:18.460
and we're probably gonna need to
change postcodes.
00:52:18.500 --> 00:52:20.090
Oh my God!
00:52:20.130 --> 00:52:21.620
All right, he's already trying to
summon the devil again.
00:52:21.660 --> 00:52:23.290
Fuck.
00:52:30.160 --> 00:52:32.250
It's not converting.
00:52:38.450 --> 00:52:39.530
(rap backing track)
Okay, you know what,
00:52:39.570 --> 00:52:41.860
I'm just gonna do it on this beat.
00:52:41.900 --> 00:52:44.230
I'm just gonna do it on this beat
because it's not converting.
00:52:44.270 --> 00:52:45.550
Juanaflippa, I can't get the beat to-
00:52:45.720 --> 00:52:47.380
You're just gonna have to
imagine the beat, Juanaflippa.
00:52:47.420 --> 00:52:48.090
Go to my stream.
00:52:48.130 --> 00:52:49.340
Hold that gun out and, like,
00:52:49.380 --> 00:52:51.546
do cool shit.
00:52:52.230 --> 00:52:53.990
Yeah.
00:52:54.030 --> 00:52:56.280
Flippa on the beat!
(Phil clears his throat)
00:52:56.320 --> 00:52:58.140
Flippa, Flippa!
00:52:59.090 --> 00:53:00.010
(backing track stops)
Hey, Phil, you kind of
00:53:00.050 --> 00:53:01.120
caught me at a bad time.
00:53:01.160 --> 00:53:03.590
Can I just finish this up before-?
00:53:03.630 --> 00:53:05.160
Flippa, put that away.
- [Phil] Yeah.
00:53:05.200 --> 00:53:07.685
Sure. I'll wait.
00:53:09.400 --> 00:53:10.968
- [Slime] Okay, thanks.
00:53:11.050 --> 00:53:12.370
Just give me one sec.
00:53:13.810 --> 00:53:15.611
Appreciate it, man.
00:53:17.670 --> 00:53:19.240
I'm sorry about that...
00:53:19.880 --> 00:53:21.762
glitch, by the way.
00:53:22.730 --> 00:53:24.200
- [Phil] Yeah, glitch.
00:53:24.240 --> 00:53:25.992
So...
00:53:27.440 --> 00:53:29.690
I'm just inquiring-
00:53:29.730 --> 00:53:31.530
- [Slime] Yeah, just one second though, man.
00:53:33.570 --> 00:53:35.658
- [Phil] One se-?
Charlie!
00:53:35.880 --> 00:53:37.710
- [Slime] What, dude?
What, man?
00:53:37.750 --> 00:53:39.640
- [Phil] Did you kill my egg?
00:53:39.680 --> 00:53:42.120
- [Slime] Kill your fucking egg?
No, dude!
00:53:42.160 --> 00:53:42.990
No, I wouldn't!
00:53:43.030 --> 00:53:44.800
Flippa, put the gun away.
00:53:44.840 --> 00:53:46.500
I did not kill your fucking egg.
00:53:46.540 --> 00:53:48.160
I was teaching Flippa
how to speedbridge.
00:53:48.200 --> 00:53:49.960
What are you talking about?
00:53:50.270 --> 00:53:52.080
- [Phil] Charlie, I logged on-
- [Slime] And I'm about to sing her
00:53:52.120 --> 00:53:54.760
a fucking bed-
You are traumatizing a child!
00:53:54.800 --> 00:53:56.400
- [Phil] Charlie!
- [Slime] You're traumatizing a child right now.
00:53:56.440 --> 00:53:58.030
- [Phil] Then take it outside.
Come here.
00:53:58.070 --> 00:53:59.960
Okay, well, let me sing-
Do you wanna-
00:54:00.000 --> 00:54:00.660
You know what?
00:54:00.700 --> 00:54:03.560
Let's show her that love trumps war.
00:54:03.600 --> 00:54:05.190
Do my bedtime story with hers.
00:54:05.230 --> 00:54:06.180
We can put her to to bed,
00:54:06.220 --> 00:54:07.850
and then afterwards
we can take this outside
00:54:07.890 --> 00:54:10.420
and we can talk about this
like adults, okay?
00:54:10.460 --> 00:54:13.565
Flippa stops setting fires
and trying to summon...
00:54:13.850 --> 00:54:14.850
something.
00:54:14.890 --> 00:54:15.960
All right?
00:54:16.000 --> 00:54:16.940
(rap backing track begins)
00:54:16.980 --> 00:54:18.717
Okay.
00:54:18.820 --> 00:54:20.469
All right.
00:54:20.600 --> 00:54:22.719
(Slime clears his throat)
00:54:23.340 --> 00:54:24.880
Brrap!
00:54:24.920 --> 00:54:28.170
This one goes out to
Ch-Ch-Ch-Chayanne!
00:54:29.870 --> 00:54:31.927
Ch-Ch-Ch-Chayanne!
00:54:33.030 --> 00:54:33.680
Ch-Ch-
00:54:33.720 --> 00:54:35.213
Ch-Ch-Chayanne!
00:54:37.900 --> 00:54:41.260
Alright, here we go.
00:54:41.970 --> 00:54:45.120
My daughter, Juanaflippa
00:54:45.460 --> 00:54:49.080
Got a bow and arrow, shot a creepa
00:54:49.120 --> 00:54:52.410
Poppin’ down, doing Gangnam Style
00:54:52.450 --> 00:54:55.560
Be careful whose egg you rile up
00:54:55.600 --> 00:54:57.290
My egg’s got a gun
00:54:57.330 --> 00:55:01.040
My egg hunts, my egg shoots for fun
00:55:01.080 --> 00:55:04.090
Juanaflippa, she’s got allergies
00:55:04.130 --> 00:55:07.360
Juanaflippa, she’s allergic to bees
00:55:07.400 --> 00:55:10.520
Juanaflippa, and also detergent
00:55:10.560 --> 00:55:13.830
Juanaflippa, she’s a fucking insurgent
00:55:13.870 --> 00:55:16.940
Juanaflippa, she flips all day
00:55:16.980 --> 00:55:19.190
Juanaflippa, and we don’t pray
00:55:19.230 --> 00:55:20.880
We like to play
00:55:20.920 --> 00:55:22.820
But we don’t pray to God
00:55:22.860 --> 00:55:26.560
We worship the other guy now that He’s gone
00:55:26.600 --> 00:55:29.980
We set fires and jump all day
00:55:30.020 --> 00:55:32.410
It’s bedtime now, so what do we say?
00:55:32.730 --> 00:55:36.809
Hey - whoa, whoa, whoa! Dude!
00:55:37.370 --> 00:55:40.510
- [Phil] I was given permission by God to kill you.
00:55:40.550 --> 00:55:42.140
- [Slime] What-? Okay, tell you what-
00:55:42.180 --> 00:55:43.530
- [Phil] Juanaflippa, I’m sorry.
00:55:43.570 --> 00:55:44.840
(gunshots)
00:55:44.880 --> 00:55:46.600
- [Slime] Juanaflippa! Fucking take him down!
00:55:46.640 --> 00:55:48.750
Yeah, you bitch! Here’s the bridge!
00:55:48.790 --> 00:55:53.400
You fucked with Juanaflippa,
so you got the glock
00:55:53.440 --> 00:55:54.960
Now it’s time to fuck
00:55:55.000 --> 00:55:56.360
You fucked up
00:55:56.400 --> 00:55:58.850
You fucked up, my dude
00:55:58.890 --> 00:56:01.280
You shouldn’t have given Flippa that ‘tude
00:56:01.320 --> 00:56:04.410
Yeah! Let’s go!
00:56:04.450 --> 00:56:07.600
Let’s go, Juanaflippa, you already know!
00:56:07.640 --> 00:56:11.679
(backing track stops)
Fuck yes, Juanaflippa, that was beautiful.
00:56:12.420 --> 00:56:14.360
He had it coming, between you and me.
00:56:14.400 --> 00:56:16.010
Time to eat his avocado toast.
00:56:16.050 --> 00:56:17.960
He fucking would, wouldn’t he?
00:56:18.620 --> 00:56:20.770
Good job, Juanaflippa.
00:56:20.810 --> 00:56:22.468
All right, Juanaflippa.
00:56:22.510 --> 00:56:23.250
Take these.
00:56:23.290 --> 00:56:26.450
Put these items on, okay, Juanaflippa?
00:56:26.490 --> 00:56:28.683
Put that armor on.
00:56:29.510 --> 00:56:30.830
Yes, Juanaflippa!
00:56:30.870 --> 00:56:33.130
Juanaflippa, spew your seed!
00:56:33.170 --> 00:56:35.907
Take that armor,
okay, Juanaflippa?
00:56:36.140 --> 00:56:36.990
All right, good job.
00:56:37.030 --> 00:56:38.982
Now put that on.
00:56:40.680 --> 00:56:43.480
(Slime laughs)
00:56:43.520 --> 00:56:46.710
- [Phil] Charlie!
(Phil climbing a ladder)
00:56:46.980 --> 00:56:48.608
- [Slime] Uh-oh.
00:56:49.790 --> 00:56:51.320
(Phil opens a chest)
00:56:51.360 --> 00:56:53.030
- [Phil] Get out here!
00:56:53.070 --> 00:56:55.413
- [Slime] What's up, man?
00:56:55.660 --> 00:56:57.190
- [Phil] Why did you do it?
00:56:57.230 --> 00:56:58.650
- [Slime] Why did I do what?
What are you even ta-?
00:56:58.690 --> 00:57:00.400
You're deranged.
- [Phil] Why did you kill my egg?
00:57:00.440 --> 00:57:01.880
- [Slime] You're talking about God.
00:57:01.920 --> 00:57:03.620
God's not real!
- [Phil] Also, why the fuck
00:57:03.660 --> 00:57:05.940
does your egg have a fucking gun?
00:57:05.980 --> 00:57:09.450
- [Slime] Why does my what have a gun?
Are you hallucinating?
00:57:09.490 --> 00:57:10.840
- [Phil] Why does your egg
have a fucking gun?
00:57:10.880 --> 00:57:13.221
- [Slime] Dude, you're on drugs.
00:57:13.660 --> 00:57:17.790
You're literally on drugs right now.
You're talking like a crazy person.
00:57:17.830 --> 00:57:19.890
- [Phil] Give me my shit back.
- [Slime] Yeah, fine, all right?
00:57:19.930 --> 00:57:21.820
Here's what you dropped, bro.
00:57:21.860 --> 00:57:23.410
- [Phil] No, give me my shit back.
00:57:23.450 --> 00:57:27.260
- [Slime] No, I'll fucking tell you what,
buddy. Phil.
00:57:27.300 --> 00:57:29.473
Listen, we love each other, all right?
00:57:29.600 --> 00:57:31.790
That's Jaiden's stuff.
You can't steal from her, all right?
00:57:31.830 --> 00:57:33.400
Are you a woman? No.
- [Phil] I'm just getting a pickaxe.
00:57:33.440 --> 00:57:34.812
- [Slime] You're not a woman.
00:57:34.950 --> 00:57:37.110
Are you a woman?
You're a woman hater.
00:57:37.200 --> 00:57:38.210
Back off.
00:57:38.250 --> 00:57:39.710
- [Phil] Oh my God,
my body's just fucking there.
00:57:39.750 --> 00:57:41.100
Jesus Christ.
- [Slime] Back off.
00:57:41.140 --> 00:57:43.160
- [Phil] Charlie, give me my shit back!
- [Slime] It's my body now!
00:57:43.200 --> 00:57:44.980
Phil, we gotta talk, all right?
00:57:45.020 --> 00:57:46.830
If you take another step forward,
00:57:46.870 --> 00:57:49.390
I'm gonna do it.
00:57:49.430 --> 00:57:51.460
So we have to talk.
- [Phil] Mmm.
00:57:52.110 --> 00:57:54.300
- [Slime] Now, here's some avocado toast.
00:57:55.250 --> 00:57:55.760
- [Phil] Give me my stuff back,
00:57:56.100 --> 00:57:58.110
then we'll talk.
- [Slime] That'll be $23.
00:57:58.150 --> 00:58:02.090
No, no,
because you came into my house, all right?
00:58:02.130 --> 00:58:04.100
You came into my house and you-
- [Phil] You murdered my son!
00:58:04.140 --> 00:58:06.270
- [Slime] You threatened my dau-
I don't know who your son is!
00:58:06.310 --> 00:58:08.564
- [Phil] You murdered him!
- [Slime] I've never even met your son!
00:58:08.950 --> 00:58:11.710
- [Phil] Shut up.
I was visited by a god.
00:58:11.750 --> 00:58:15.025
A god told me that it was murd-
00:58:15.950 --> 00:58:17.240
- [Slime] Oh, that god?
00:58:17.280 --> 00:58:19.590
Oh, that god who's trying to smite you?
00:58:19.630 --> 00:58:21.900
- [Phil] A god told me my egg was murdered!
00:58:21.940 --> 00:58:23.980
- [Slime] Well, I'm sorry that happened to you!
00:58:24.020 --> 00:58:27.557
- [Phil] And you were the only person-
- [Slime] Is there any other way I can help?
00:58:28.400 --> 00:58:30.640
Listen, I will give you your shit back
00:58:30.680 --> 00:58:35.834
if you promise not to hurt Juanaflippa, okay?
00:58:36.420 --> 00:58:38.420
I saw the way you were looking at her.
00:58:38.460 --> 00:58:40.700
She has nothing to do with this.
00:58:40.740 --> 00:58:44.160
We all just want what's best
for our child.
00:58:44.200 --> 00:58:45.990
(Phil laughs)
00:58:46.030 --> 00:58:51.110
Now, there is an odd
smattering of particles next to you
00:58:51.150 --> 00:58:53.680
in sort of a vague angelic shape,
I did notice.
00:58:53.720 --> 00:58:56.421
That is a bit odd, I will admit.
00:58:56.470 --> 00:58:58.340
This is true.
00:58:58.380 --> 00:59:01.680
My boy Lil' J
is clearly in the hood right now.
00:59:01.720 --> 00:59:04.968
(Slime drinks from a water bottle)
00:59:05.450 --> 00:59:06.840
But Phil?
00:59:06.880 --> 00:59:08.350
(Phil hiccups)
00:59:08.390 --> 00:59:09.850
- [Phil] "Lil' J?"
00:59:09.890 --> 00:59:11.230
(both laugh)
00:59:11.270 --> 00:59:12.210
- [Slime] Yeah, that's right.
00:59:12.250 --> 00:59:14.270
I'm on a fucking first name basis.
00:59:14.310 --> 00:59:17.010
We have nickies for each other.
00:59:17.050 --> 00:59:18.770
- [Phil] Can I get my shit
before it despawns?
00:59:18.810 --> 00:59:20.870
Jesus Christ.
- [Slime] No, you stay back.
00:59:20.910 --> 00:59:22.590
(lightning strikes close by)
00:59:22.630 --> 00:59:23.700
What the fuck's going on in there?!
00:59:23.740 --> 00:59:25.759
Juanaflippa, run!
00:59:25.890 --> 00:59:27.380
Dude, it won't desp-
It's on your body.
00:59:27.420 --> 00:59:30.785
Agree you won't hurt Juanaflippa.
00:59:30.870 --> 00:59:33.000
- [Phil] I agree.
- [Slime] Okay. All right.
00:59:33.040 --> 00:59:34.860
As God is literally my witness.
- [Phil] But, like,
00:59:34.900 --> 00:59:36.960
your egg is burning, dude.
- [Slime] Stop.
00:59:37.000 --> 00:59:39.040
Juanaflippa, get out of the fire.
00:59:39.080 --> 00:59:39.690
Okay.
00:59:39.730 --> 00:59:41.700
All right, you're good to go.
00:59:41.740 --> 00:59:44.240
I did take some of your shit.
Hang on.
00:59:44.280 --> 00:59:46.370
Oh.
- [Phil] Give me all my shit.
00:59:46.410 --> 00:59:48.860
- [Slime] Hang on, one sec.
I gotta take care of this.
00:59:48.900 --> 00:59:50.680
I'll give you your shit.
I promise.
00:59:50.720 --> 00:59:52.230
(Phil laughs)
00:59:52.270 --> 00:59:53.450
Okay.
00:59:53.490 --> 00:59:55.300
Here you go.
Ow.
00:59:55.340 --> 00:59:57.064
Oh, wait. Hang on.
00:59:57.230 --> 00:59:59.372
Critical hunger.
01:00:00.630 --> 01:00:02.967
Okay.
I have these bottles.
01:00:03.770 --> 01:00:04.300
(Phil laughs)
01:00:04.340 --> 01:00:06.930
Gonna sort of vaguely throw them
in the vicinity
01:00:06.970 --> 01:00:08.570
if that is cool.
01:00:08.610 --> 01:00:11.450
And then I've got this boat
01:00:11.490 --> 01:00:13.610
and the toast.
01:00:13.650 --> 01:00:15.490
I'm gonna keep it.
- [Phil] Feed your kid!
01:00:15.530 --> 01:00:18.400
Your child is literally dying of hun-
01:00:18.440 --> 01:00:23.409
Feed your child.
- [Slime] Flippa, eat your avocado toast.
01:00:26.170 --> 01:00:26.940
Okay, now, I don't-
01:00:26.980 --> 01:00:29.450
What is this picture that I have here?
Hang on.
01:00:29.490 --> 01:00:30.110
I don't know what that is.
01:00:30.150 --> 01:00:33.170
- [Phil] That's me and Fit.
- [Slime] That's staying here.
01:00:33.210 --> 01:00:34.550
- [Phil] No, you cannot take that.
01:00:34.590 --> 01:00:38.450
- [Slime] That's a memory
from a new family friend of ours,
01:00:38.490 --> 01:00:41.440
Philza, okay,
who would never harm our daughter.
01:00:41.480 --> 01:00:43.530
Why are you still hungry?
That was 12 avocado toast.
01:00:43.570 --> 01:00:45.570
I know it's not very filling,
but come on, Flippa.
01:00:45.610 --> 01:00:46.934
Okay.
01:00:48.180 --> 01:00:50.110
- [Phil] Avocado toast is so good,
actually.
01:00:50.150 --> 01:00:52.000
You know Ranboo's never had it?
01:00:52.040 --> 01:00:54.584
- [Slime] Really?
- [Phil] Yeah.
01:00:55.410 --> 01:00:56.950
- [Slime] That's kind of sad, man.
01:00:56.990 --> 01:00:58.650
- [Phil] Thank you for my photo.
01:00:58.690 --> 01:00:59.810
- [Slime] Hey, no, you take that photo back.
01:00:59.850 --> 01:01:01.720
Instead, I want you to frame this photo
01:01:01.760 --> 01:01:04.650
of my wife and our daughter.
01:01:04.690 --> 01:01:05.870
(Phil laughs)
01:01:05.910 --> 01:01:08.610
Okay?
I want you to frame that instead,
01:01:08.650 --> 01:01:12.249
so that you remember the oath
that we made here.
01:01:13.120 --> 01:01:16.520
Okay? We've both had
some divine visits today,
01:01:16.560 --> 01:01:17.970
keeping things vague,
01:01:18.010 --> 01:01:20.890
and I just think that
it would be best
01:01:20.930 --> 01:01:23.430
if we forgot about this
whole crazy incident
01:01:23.470 --> 01:01:26.380
and we also forgot about the fact
that Ranboo has never had avocado toast,
01:01:26.420 --> 01:01:28.650
because I really don't know.
- [Phil] Yeah, that's kinda weird, right?
01:01:28.690 --> 01:01:30.783
- [Slime] Yeah, it is sort of weird.
01:01:32.370 --> 01:01:33.580
- [Phil] Oh man.
01:01:33.620 --> 01:01:35.400
- [Slime] Wait, Ranboo's actually in chat.
01:01:35.440 --> 01:01:37.030
He just said "what?"
01:01:37.070 --> 01:01:37.890
Why are you in Jua-?
01:01:37.930 --> 01:01:38.990
Oh, okay.
You can put this.
01:01:39.030 --> 01:01:41.180
- [Phil] I'm putting
extra stuff that isn't mine.
01:01:41.220 --> 01:01:43.200
- [Slime] It's very nice of you.
01:01:43.240 --> 01:01:44.810
- [Phil] "Standing torch."
Don't know what that is.
01:01:44.850 --> 01:01:47.687
- [Slime] Ranboo, is that true
that you've never had avocado toast?
01:01:49.900 --> 01:01:52.200
It's two ingredients, dude.
01:01:52.240 --> 01:01:56.052
You could literally
RNG your way into it on accident.
01:01:57.250 --> 01:02:00.964
You don't get why it's being brought up?
So you don't deny it.
01:02:02.250 --> 01:02:04.735
Ranboo, it's 2023.
01:02:04.860 --> 01:02:09.600
You're going to lose your lean figure
if you don't eat avocado toast.
01:02:12.460 --> 01:02:15.830
It's not relevant?
Well, it feels pretty relevant now.
01:02:16.080 --> 01:02:19.434
- [Phil] Just gonna let you
have this conversation.
01:02:20.450 --> 01:02:21.930
- [Slime] Yeah, that's sort of-
01:02:21.970 --> 01:02:24.510
sort of intrusive of you, man, to-
- [Phil] Put that up.
01:02:24.550 --> 01:02:25.890
- [Slime] Thank you.
01:02:25.930 --> 01:02:28.010
- [Phil] There you go.
- [Slime] Hey, take it easy.
01:02:28.050 --> 01:02:30.442
We're all good now.
01:02:30.630 --> 01:02:33.170
- [Phil] Yeah, I guess.
- [Slime] I appreciate it.
01:02:33.210 --> 01:02:36.075
- [Phil] I guess we're fine.
- [Slime] All right.
01:02:36.570 --> 01:02:38.540
Take it easy, man.
01:02:38.580 --> 01:02:42.833
Sorry that God said some shit to you
or whatever.
01:02:43.400 --> 01:02:45.850
Hey, if he shows up,
01:02:45.890 --> 01:02:48.851
let Lil' J know I said hi, okay?
01:02:50.010 --> 01:02:51.959
- [Phil] Bruh.
01:02:51.999 --> 01:02:52.900
- [Slime] All right.
01:02:52.940 --> 01:02:54.270
Flippa, I'm sorry about that.
01:02:54.310 --> 01:02:58.790
That's the deranged elderly man
that lives upstairs.
01:02:58.980 --> 01:03:00.180
- [Phil] I'm not deranged!
(Slime laughs)
01:03:00.220 --> 01:03:01.320
And I'm not elderly!
01:03:01.360 --> 01:03:03.060
- [Slime] Shit, I thought he was gone.
01:03:03.100 --> 01:03:04.540
- [Phil] I literally can still hear you!
You live in my basement!
01:03:04.580 --> 01:03:06.220
(rap backing track starts)
01:03:06.260 --> 01:03:10.200
- [Slime] All right, Juanaflippa.
It's back to bedtime, Juanaflippa.
01:03:10.240 --> 01:03:12.120
Yeah! Yeah!
- [Phil] You live in my fucking basement!
01:03:12.160 --> 01:03:14.430
Remember that!
- [Slime] Set the roof on fire!
01:03:14.470 --> 01:03:15.800
Shut up, dude!
01:03:16.140 --> 01:03:28.740
Yeah, we never get a noise complaint! (x4)
01:03:28.780 --> 01:03:30.300
There's an old man
01:03:30.340 --> 01:03:31.860
He lives upstairs
01:03:31.900 --> 01:03:33.410
He says crazy things
01:03:33.450 --> 01:03:35.590
He gets weird stares
01:03:35.630 --> 01:03:38.782
He is clearly deranged
01:03:42.200 --> 01:03:44.750
He's an insane guy
01:03:44.790 --> 01:03:49.040
He forgets to wear clothes,
I don't know why
01:03:49.080 --> 01:03:51.690
He's fucking nuts
01:03:51.730 --> 01:03:53.610
He walks around with his butt out
01:03:53.650 --> 01:03:56.310
He wears no clothes and he walks around
01:03:56.350 --> 01:04:00.311
He talks about how he saw God
making sounds
01:04:03.260 --> 01:04:06.710
Generally uncomfortable to be around
01:04:07.970 --> 01:04:10.644
His mental health's on decline
01:04:16.020 --> 01:04:19.572
(laughs)
Dude, he's gonna die!
01:04:20.040 --> 01:04:22.521
All right,
Juanaflippa, take it away.
01:04:22.740 --> 01:04:25.956
Take it away on the bridge, Juanaflippa.
Pop off.
01:04:26.250 --> 01:04:27.580
Yeah.
01:04:29.770 --> 01:04:32.336
H-h-huevo!
01:04:33.010 --> 01:04:35.680
Yeah, got the toast
01:04:36.020 --> 01:04:38.636
Juanaflippa coming in with the roast
01:04:38.676 --> 01:04:41.810
Saw the devil, or was it a ghost?
01:04:42.160 --> 01:04:43.506
Got the Glock
01:04:43.590 --> 01:04:45.191
You're toast
01:04:46.580 --> 01:04:48.275
I got an egg
01:04:49.770 --> 01:04:51.404
She's got legs
01:04:52.960 --> 01:04:54.520
It's time for bed
01:04:54.560 --> 01:04:58.162
That not me
B-b-but that's what I said
01:04:59.760 --> 01:05:01.322
Yeah.
01:05:01.430 --> 01:05:03.940
Now it's time.
Ad-libs.
01:05:03.980 --> 01:05:06.221
It's ad-lib time.
01:05:07.050 --> 01:05:13.025
(Slime scatting)
01:05:13.530 --> 01:05:15.390
(Slime scatting)
Huevo, huevo
01:05:15.430 --> 01:05:18.407
(Slime scatting)
Huevo nuevo
01:05:18.570 --> 01:05:21.150
(Slime scatting)
Gun!
01:05:22.720 --> 01:05:24.520
I meant to stop it,
but it actually just restarted.
01:05:24.560 --> 01:05:25.700
Okay.
01:05:25.740 --> 01:05:30.167
All right, I hope that's
calmed you down for bed.
01:05:30.690 --> 01:05:31.840
I love you, Juanaflippa.
01:05:31.880 --> 01:05:34.490
Can I tuck you in, if that's okay?
01:05:34.530 --> 01:05:37.183
Oh, thank you for the avocado toast.
01:05:37.560 --> 01:05:40.100
This stuff is usually, like, $18,
01:05:40.140 --> 01:05:41.700
so that really means a lot.
01:05:41.740 --> 01:05:44.093
And Juanaflippa, I want you to know
01:05:45.550 --> 01:05:47.629
that...
01:05:47.810 --> 01:05:50.260
Oh shit, I accidentally
gave Phil my backpack.
01:05:54.690 --> 01:05:55.450
Oh fuck.
01:05:55.490 --> 01:05:55.960
All right.
01:05:56.000 --> 01:05:58.046
Juanaflippa, I'll be right back.
01:06:00.070 --> 01:06:02.470
You go to bed.
Juanaflippa, it's bedtime, okay?
01:06:03.180 --> 01:06:05.018
Just tuck in, okay?
01:06:06.090 --> 01:06:08.829
Oh, this is gonna be super awkward.
01:06:14.010 --> 01:06:15.794
Hey, Phil?
01:06:16.660 --> 01:06:17.720
- [Phil] Yeah?
01:06:19.100 --> 01:06:20.220
- [Slime] This is kind of awkward, man,
01:06:20.260 --> 01:06:23.534
but I think I accidentally
gave you my backpack.
01:06:24.420 --> 01:06:26.030
- [Phil] Oh, this thing?
- [Slime] Yeah.
01:06:26.070 --> 01:06:28.310
I was just wondering
if you could, like,
01:06:28.350 --> 01:06:32.081
drop it off sometime
that you've got some spare time
01:06:32.540 --> 01:06:37.717
because I sort of think
I accidentally gave that to you and, uh...
01:06:38.050 --> 01:06:39.680
All right, I can see you have it on now
01:06:39.720 --> 01:06:43.174
and it's just, it's got
some important stuff in there.
01:06:44.970 --> 01:06:49.830
(both laugh)
01:06:49.870 --> 01:06:52.780
- [Phil] I was like,
"How long is it gonna take for him to realize
01:06:55.910 --> 01:06:58.705
that I have all of his stuff?"
01:06:58.890 --> 01:07:00.760
- [Slime] Hey, listen,
I was singing a bedtime song
01:07:00.800 --> 01:07:03.900
to my fucking daughter, okay?
I was being present.
01:07:03.940 --> 01:07:06.300
- [Phil] Yeah.
- [Slime] Listen, you can keep-
01:07:06.340 --> 01:07:08.567
Hey, come back.
01:07:08.850 --> 01:07:10.200
If you want-
01:07:10.240 --> 01:07:11.890
I don't even remember
what's in there, to be honest,
01:07:11.930 --> 01:07:16.033
I don't think I've had an inventory system
this entire time, but
01:07:17.150 --> 01:07:18.490
you can have it all
if you just give me back
01:07:18.530 --> 01:07:19.730
that flower in there, okay?
01:07:19.770 --> 01:07:22.834
There's a flower in there
that Flippa gave to me.
01:07:23.290 --> 01:07:25.730
- [Phil] Oh, okay.
- [Slime] Okay.
01:07:25.770 --> 01:07:27.470
- [Phil] I mean, I could just give you, like-
01:07:27.510 --> 01:07:28.430
There's a lot of stuff in here, Charlie.
01:07:28.470 --> 01:07:30.200
I could just give you the backpack back.
It's fine.
01:07:30.240 --> 01:07:31.320
- [Slime] Oh.
- [Phil] There's, like, sentimental stuff.
01:07:31.360 --> 01:07:33.320
There's the ticket
that you used to get her.
01:07:33.360 --> 01:07:34.890
- [Slime] Yeah, that is pretty
sentimental,
01:07:34.930 --> 01:07:36.260
but I mean, if you really want-
01:07:36.300 --> 01:07:38.420
Yeah, if you really insist
on keeping it, you monster,
01:07:38.460 --> 01:07:40.290
then I guess.
01:07:41.230 --> 01:07:42.730
(Phil laughs)
01:07:42.770 --> 01:07:44.580
Jesus. I mean...
01:07:44.620 --> 01:07:46.620
- [Phil] No, I could never do that.
- [Slime] It'd be pretty heartless.
01:07:46.660 --> 01:07:47.510
- [Phil] I could never do that
to a fellow parent.
01:07:47.550 --> 01:07:49.760
- [Slime] Pretty heartless,
but yeah, if you're really insisting.
01:07:49.800 --> 01:07:52.040
If that's what it's gonna take.
01:07:52.080 --> 01:07:55.781
- [Phil] I would never do that
to a fellow parent.
01:07:56.630 --> 01:07:57.980
Okay. Thank you.
01:07:58.020 --> 01:08:00.230
- [Phil] Go fetch.
- [Slime] Oh, there it goes.
01:08:00.270 --> 01:08:04.094
- [Phil] Go fetch.
- [Slime] It's just blended in with the grass.
01:08:04.320 --> 01:08:05.330
Welp.
01:08:05.370 --> 01:08:07.540
- [Phil] You stole my paraglider, by the way.
01:08:07.580 --> 01:08:08.710
- [Slime] What?
No I didn't.
01:08:08.750 --> 01:08:10.070
See ya.
01:08:10.110 --> 01:08:12.867
(both laugh)
01:08:14.740 --> 01:08:16.849
Thank you, Phil!
01:08:16.920 --> 01:08:19.862
- [Phil] You're welcome!
- [Slime] Love you!
01:08:21.910 --> 01:08:24.408
Love you!
01:08:24.810 --> 01:08:27.522
Say it back, Phil!
01:08:29.650 --> 01:08:31.396
Okay.
01:08:35.360 --> 01:08:37.114
Well,
01:08:37.910 --> 01:08:40.967
we're gonna need to figure out
how to make bullets.
01:08:47.350 --> 01:08:49.910
No, he made an oath.
He made an oath not to go for Flippa.
01:08:49.950 --> 01:08:51.700
He made a fucking oath.
01:08:51.740 --> 01:08:53.630
He wouldn't.
He would not do that.
01:08:53.670 --> 01:08:55.992
I know Phil.
He wouldn't do that.
01:08:58.630 --> 01:09:00.447
He made an oath!
01:09:13.640 --> 01:09:15.734
No, he wouldn't.
01:09:22.880 --> 01:09:24.491
Aww.
01:09:24.680 --> 01:09:25.760
Sleeping tight.
01:09:25.800 --> 01:09:28.428
Let me put
the picture back up here.
01:09:29.220 --> 01:09:30.200
Oh, good morning, Fli-
01:09:30.240 --> 01:09:34.832
It's too late, Flippa.
It's not morning time yet.
01:09:36.630 --> 01:09:39.279
Can I take a picture of
01:09:39.440 --> 01:09:43.172
baby's first semi-automatic weapon?
01:09:43.760 --> 01:09:44.810
I think I gotta-
one second.
01:09:44.850 --> 01:09:46.040
Let me get photos real quick.
01:09:46.564 --> 01:09:48.740
I have to make paper, I think.
01:09:49.080 --> 01:09:51.242
I don't know if I have any.
01:09:55.350 --> 01:09:55.880
Hang on.
01:09:56.090 --> 01:09:57.360
I'm just gonna make some paper real
quick, Flippa.
01:09:57.400 --> 01:09:59.066
I'll be right back.
01:10:04.220 --> 01:10:06.226
Baby's first toy.
01:10:07.690 --> 01:10:09.388
Do you have any paper, Flippa?
01:10:15.090 --> 01:10:17.150
Okay, I'm just gonna go look for sugar cane.
01:10:17.190 --> 01:10:18.650
I shouldn't be too long.
01:10:18.690 --> 01:10:21.781
Don't get into too much trouble
while I'm gone, okay?
01:10:22.040 --> 01:10:24.590
I just want to take a picture of you
with your first toy.
01:10:24.930 --> 01:10:26.380
Okay.
01:10:26.420 --> 01:10:28.345
Let's see.
This way.
01:10:42.200 --> 01:10:44.190
She's so wholesome.
01:10:45.890 --> 01:10:47.610
I'm proud of her.
01:10:56.910 --> 01:10:58.280
Oh, fuck.
Jesus Christ.
01:10:58.320 --> 01:11:00.009
(Slime screams)
01:11:00.540 --> 01:11:01.870
Phil!
01:11:01.910 --> 01:11:04.150
Wait, what am I saying?
He wouldn't be able to help with this.
01:11:04.190 --> 01:11:05.929
Someone else!
01:11:06.850 --> 01:11:09.092
Someone else that isn't Phil!
01:11:20.420 --> 01:11:23.331
Sugarcane?
Is there any sugarcane?
01:11:23.520 --> 01:11:25.503
There we go.
01:11:27.610 --> 01:11:30.871
Dude, I've never been jumpscared more
01:11:31.300 --> 01:11:34.840
than when Phil fucking logged on
as we were bridging up to his house today.
01:11:34.880 --> 01:11:38.291
That was probably the scariest experience
of my entire life.
01:11:51.040 --> 01:11:54.445
And I can't tell anyone
that I saw Satan.
01:11:55.970 --> 01:11:57.060
Just plant some of it?
01:11:57.100 --> 01:11:59.613
That's a really good idea.
Hang on.
01:12:03.530 --> 01:12:07.030
I need to embrace sustainable living.
01:12:13.170 --> 01:12:14.725
Whee!
01:12:16.080 --> 01:12:18.077
Oh, a bunch of people are on now.
01:12:30.280 --> 01:12:34.326
(Slime laughs)
"Just a cringefail dad
01:12:35.250 --> 01:12:38.270
and his cringefail wife."
01:12:44.020 --> 01:12:46.190
QSMP called me a murderer?
That's cr-
01:12:46.480 --> 01:12:48.843
Satan made me fucking do it, dude.
01:12:49.280 --> 01:12:51.465
I mean, what?
Who's Satan?
01:12:51.780 --> 01:12:53.830
It's okay.
I just can't let anyone ever hear me-
01:12:53.870 --> 01:12:56.445
God. Okay.
01:13:00.570 --> 01:13:02.579
It's okay.
I'm muted.
01:13:19.300 --> 01:13:21.107
Mmm!
01:13:21.920 --> 01:13:24.012
Rotten flesh.
01:13:27.560 --> 01:13:29.267
Hrrm.
01:13:31.680 --> 01:13:35.205
Hrrm.
(trader mumbles)
01:13:35.970 --> 01:13:39.795
HrrRRRRrrrhm.
01:13:42.000 --> 01:13:44.520
- [Spreen] [Are you on drugs?]
- [Slime] Hello, hello!
01:13:44.560 --> 01:13:46.600
You can hear me.
01:13:47.250 --> 01:13:50.070
- [Spreen] Sí, sí.
- [Slime] How are you?
01:13:50.110 --> 01:13:52.703
- [Spreen] [Are you on drugs?]
01:13:52.920 --> 01:13:53.920
- [Slime] I'm high?
01:13:53.960 --> 01:13:56.522
I can get higher.
Check this out.
01:13:56.950 --> 01:13:58.814
Whoo!
- [Spreen] No, no.
01:13:59.010 --> 01:14:01.961
(slowly)
[Are you on drugs?]
01:14:02.340 --> 01:14:04.820
- [Slime] The only drug I have is this.
01:14:04.860 --> 01:14:07.619
Whoo!
- [Spreen] Ah, okay.
01:14:08.190 --> 01:14:10.320
Nice.
- [Slime] The blood rushes to my head
01:14:10.360 --> 01:14:12.584
very, very fast.
01:14:13.740 --> 01:14:15.527
(trader mumbles)
01:14:17.340 --> 01:14:21.780
- [Spreen] [Can't you die that way?]
- [Slime] Estoy mucho drogado.
01:14:21.820 --> 01:14:26.180
Siempre drogado.
Masivo drogado.
01:14:26.220 --> 01:14:29.805
- [Spreen] [Oh, you're high all the time?
You live high?]
01:14:31.880 --> 01:14:34.895
- [Slime] Sí. Es real.
01:14:36.010 --> 01:14:38.010
Y siempre backflipo.
01:14:38.050 --> 01:14:39.890
Whoa!
01:14:39.930 --> 01:14:42.309
Hola, Maximus!
(Maximus' audio stutters)
01:14:42.510 --> 01:14:43.450
(Slime laughs)
01:14:43.490 --> 01:14:46.161
- [Spreen] Eh?
- [Slime] Couldn't have said it better myself.
01:14:46.480 --> 01:14:49.691
- [Spreen] What the fuck? Desapareció.
- [Slime] That was really crazy.
01:14:52.360 --> 01:14:55.225
I think we're both on drugs.
01:14:57.350 --> 01:14:59.614
- [Spreen] [I think something weird
is happ-]
01:15:03.600 --> 01:15:05.581
- [Slime] Holy fuck.
01:15:07.260 --> 01:15:09.879
These drogados are crazy.
01:15:10.490 --> 01:15:14.858
Estoy drogado as hell right now.
01:15:20.110 --> 01:15:22.956
No es real.
Es drogado.
01:15:28.680 --> 01:15:30.241
All right.
01:15:32.300 --> 01:15:34.610
We have to take a picture fast.
The Spanish speakers are despawning.
01:15:34.650 --> 01:15:36.674
Ah, fuck.
01:15:36.770 --> 01:15:39.152
Juanaflippa.
01:15:40.400 --> 01:15:43.320
That's okay.
We'll take a picture when she gets back.
01:15:43.360 --> 01:15:45.702
We'll just put this in here for now.
01:15:45.830 --> 01:15:47.160
All right.
01:15:47.200 --> 01:15:48.730
I'm gonna go.
01:15:48.770 --> 01:15:49.890
You have a good night, Juanaflippa.
01:15:49.930 --> 01:15:52.873
I assume you're just hiding there
under the bed somewhere.
01:15:54.460 --> 01:15:55.860
Juanaflippa!
01:15:55.900 --> 01:15:56.670
Hang on.
01:15:56.710 --> 01:16:00.113
Let me get the camera.
01:16:00.570 --> 01:16:02.527
Juanaflippa.
01:16:04.530 --> 01:16:06.070
Okay, are you ready?
01:16:06.110 --> 01:16:07.930
We're gonna do a picture of you, okay?
01:16:07.970 --> 01:16:09.843
Baby's first toy.
01:16:11.950 --> 01:16:14.160
Yes!
01:16:14.200 --> 01:16:17.440
Oh, you're looking yoked, Juanaflippa.
01:16:17.480 --> 01:16:19.910
Okay, stand wherever you want
the picture to be. Is it-?
01:16:19.950 --> 01:16:22.051
In the fire is pretty good.
01:16:23.220 --> 01:16:24.881
Oh, that's good.
01:16:26.070 --> 01:16:26.550
Okay.
01:16:26.590 --> 01:16:29.941
You want to move forward just a little
and then look up towards the camera?
01:16:34.600 --> 01:16:36.885
That's perfect.
(camera clicks)
01:16:37.800 --> 01:16:41.059
Oh, Juanaflippa, that came out great!
Look at this!
01:16:43.100 --> 01:16:46.044
I'm gonna put this camera in here so we
don't lose it, okay?
01:16:47.080 --> 01:16:49.235
Actually, I'll put it in the item frame.
01:16:49.760 --> 01:16:51.228
There we go.
01:16:51.700 --> 01:16:53.950
We're putting that
right up on the wall.
01:16:53.990 --> 01:16:55.530
That's going right up there.
01:16:55.570 --> 01:16:56.340
Baby's first toy.
01:16:56.380 --> 01:16:58.921
I'm so proud of you, Juanaflippa.
01:17:02.260 --> 01:17:03.480
Do you like the color of your bed
01:17:03.520 --> 01:17:06.074
or do you want to change it
to something more you?
01:17:07.550 --> 01:17:09.334
Before you go to bed.
01:17:11.860 --> 01:17:13.523
You want to change it?
01:17:14.720 --> 01:17:16.490
Yeah?
Okay, okay.
01:17:16.530 --> 01:17:17.567
Let's see.
01:17:18.340 --> 01:17:20.150
What color is Juanaflippa?
01:17:20.190 --> 01:17:23.441
What color do you want?
01:17:26.420 --> 01:17:29.965
Okay, jump one time for red.
01:17:31.460 --> 01:17:34.537
Jump one time for orange.
01:17:35.360 --> 01:17:38.033
Jump one time for yellow.
01:17:38.220 --> 01:17:40.780
Jump one time for green?
01:17:40.820 --> 01:17:43.725
Jump one time for blue.
01:17:43.820 --> 01:17:46.810
Blue!
Oh, yay!
01:17:46.850 --> 01:17:48.120
Juanaflippa, I was really hoping
you'd say that
01:17:48.160 --> 01:17:50.820
because we're kind of working a budget
and that's really the only dye I had,
01:17:50.860 --> 01:17:53.770
so you just made your papa very happy.
01:17:53.810 --> 01:17:55.440
All right, here we go.
01:17:55.480 --> 01:17:57.840
Let's make you a blue...
01:18:00.170 --> 01:18:01.230
Juanaflippa,
how do you-?
01:18:01.270 --> 01:18:03.032
How do you make a-?
01:18:03.520 --> 01:18:05.290
(Slime laughs)
01:18:05.330 --> 01:18:08.442
All right, you sleep here.
I gotta do some math.
01:18:15.070 --> 01:18:17.747
Oh, I gotta-
oh, shit.
01:18:20.400 --> 01:18:22.450
Juanaflippa, can you tell
I have the most hours on 1.8?
01:18:22.490 --> 01:18:24.368
Okay, hang on.
01:18:25.740 --> 01:18:27.890
There it is.
01:18:28.140 --> 01:18:30.307
There you go, Juanaflippa.
01:18:30.910 --> 01:18:32.640
You deserve to...
you know.
01:18:32.680 --> 01:18:35.610
Juanaflippa sleeps cold,
so we like to set the room on fire.
01:18:35.650 --> 01:18:36.930
There you go!
01:18:38.220 --> 01:18:41.669
Yay!
There's your new bed!
01:18:45.080 --> 01:18:47.910
All right, and remember,
backflips on the bed
01:18:47.950 --> 01:18:50.760
are always allowed!
01:18:50.800 --> 01:18:53.360
Yeah!
01:18:53.400 --> 01:18:56.810
Oh, Juanaflippa,
you keep it tight.
01:18:58.330 --> 01:19:00.280
I'm gonna do this.
01:19:03.710 --> 01:19:05.520
Yes.
01:19:05.560 --> 01:19:06.520
Okay, hang on.
01:19:06.560 --> 01:19:09.945
I gotta pop out a new move
for you, Juanaflippa.
01:19:13.010 --> 01:19:14.410
Sit, sit, shy, nervous,
01:19:14.450 --> 01:19:20.474
selfie, Roblox potion dance,
point, penguin, Orange Justice...
01:19:24.570 --> 01:19:26.486
Item look.
01:19:27.820 --> 01:19:29.490
Okay, none of these are
as cool as backflip,
01:19:29.530 --> 01:19:30.450
I'm not gonna lie.
01:19:30.490 --> 01:19:32.010
All right, Juanaflippa.
01:19:32.050 --> 01:19:33.450
Oh, hang on,
there's a twerk, Juanaflippa.
01:19:33.490 --> 01:19:35.841
Hang on, one sec.
There's a twerk?
01:19:37.320 --> 01:19:39.970
Oh shit.
Juanaflippa, don't look at this.
01:19:40.010 --> 01:19:41.480
Juanaflippa, you don't want to see this.
01:19:41.520 --> 01:19:42.480
You don't want to see this.
01:19:42.520 --> 01:19:43.560
I don't know how to stop.
01:19:43.600 --> 01:19:44.480
Juanaflippa, I'm stuck.
01:19:44.520 --> 01:19:46.690
I'm stuck in the animation.
It has to fully play.
01:19:46.730 --> 01:19:48.750
All right, please go to bed
01:19:48.790 --> 01:19:51.763
and when your brain filters things,
remove that.
01:19:52.010 --> 01:19:53.960
That goes in the short-term memory,
not the long term.
01:19:54.000 --> 01:19:57.187
All right.
Good night, Juanaflippa! I love you!
01:19:57.530 --> 01:19:59.429
Stay yoked!
01:20:00.960 --> 01:20:02.237
Wow.
01:20:03.940 --> 01:20:05.745
All right.
01:20:05.930 --> 01:20:07.780
I guess that's it.
01:20:07.820 --> 01:20:09.971
We've done a good job.
01:20:10.340 --> 01:20:13.480
We fed Juanaflippa her first bread,
01:20:13.523 --> 01:20:15.616
took her on an adventure
01:20:17.830 --> 01:20:20.850
courtesy of Satan from Hell,
01:20:20.890 --> 01:20:22.975
taught her how to hunt,
01:20:24.770 --> 01:20:29.687
and sang her a rap
about the geriatric old man upstairs.
01:20:30.400 --> 01:20:32.800
Beautiful.
All right.
01:20:32.840 --> 01:20:38.403
I think that's just about
all you can ask for.
01:20:39.470 --> 01:20:41.020
I'm a great parent.
01:20:41.060 --> 01:20:43.507
And no one can argue with that.
01:20:43.570 --> 01:20:45.180
Thank you guys so much for watching.
01:20:45.220 --> 01:20:48.275
This is the wrong scene.
01:20:50.550 --> 01:20:53.040
(laughs)
01:20:53.080 --> 01:20:54.850
I don't know-
I misclicked!
01:20:54.890 --> 01:20:56.930
Thank you guys so much for watching,
01:20:56.970 --> 01:20:59.880
and make sure to turn notifications on
01:20:59.920 --> 01:21:01.580
so you don't miss the next stream.
01:21:01.620 --> 01:21:05.890
I'm happy to say that my deal with Satan
has had no long-term effects
01:21:05.930 --> 01:21:09.890
on my mental or physical status.
01:21:09.930 --> 01:21:13.225
Thank you all so much.
Let's find someone to raid.
01:21:14.720 --> 01:21:17.243
(laughs)
01:21:17.670 --> 01:21:19.900
Who should we raid, chat?
01:21:19.940 --> 01:21:24.071
Chat, who should we raid?
01:21:26.130 --> 01:21:30.471
Can we raid Phil?
Maybe that'll make him love me more.
01:21:31.450 --> 01:21:34.465
Let's raid Phil.
Hang on.
01:21:35.200 --> 01:21:37.150
Is Phil even live?
01:21:37.190 --> 01:21:39.885
Phil isn't live.
Okay, hang on.
01:21:40.580 --> 01:21:43.558
Is Max-?
Okay, Maximus is live?
01:21:44.740 --> 01:21:48.439
I'm so pissed that my wife
didn't take care of our son.
01:21:54.080 --> 01:21:56.574
What is Maximus' Twitch?
01:22:02.760 --> 01:22:04.690
AgenteMaximus?
01:22:04.730 --> 01:22:07.250
AgenteMaxo?
AgenteMaxo.
01:22:07.290 --> 01:22:09.660
All right, let's do that.
01:22:09.970 --> 01:22:12.740
Thank you guys so much.
01:22:12.780 --> 01:22:15.217
All right, let's raid there.
01:22:15.590 --> 01:22:17.880
Thank you all so much
01:22:17.920 --> 01:22:20.180
for coming to watch.
I really appreciate it.
01:22:20.220 --> 01:22:22.470
And all the first time chatters,
thank you so much for showing up.
01:22:22.510 --> 01:22:24.050
I hope you enjoyed the stream.
01:22:24.090 --> 01:22:26.692
I hope everyone has a wonderful
rest of their night.
01:22:27.250 --> 01:22:29.860
And if Satan comes to you in a dream,
take the deal,
01:22:29.900 --> 01:22:33.390
because he'll give your kid a gun,
and that's freaking based.
01:22:33.430 --> 01:22:34.320
(laughs)
01:22:34.360 --> 01:22:37.975
I will slime you later.