2017 US Tour: Magnolia Grove: Second talk, Sr. True Vow

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Dear Respected Thay, dear Respected Elders, dear brothers and sisters, dear community,

Good morning

Today is October 12th, 2017.

We're in the Great Meditation Hall

at Magnolia Grove Monastery

on the third day of the Magnolia Grove

US Tour Retreat entitled

Peace in Oneself, Peace in the World

Can everyone hear okay?

Okay.

I hope everyone has had a chance

to settle in

become acclimated to the changing climate

It's usually nice to be at the monastery

for at least 3 to 4 days

because it takes time for the body

and the mind to really shift gears

from the speed and the pace outside

and sometimes if we don't allow

our body and mind to settle

we continue to run in the monastery

So I hope you've taken conscientious step

to slow down and enjoy

the slower pace here

the nothing-to-doness here

the brothers and sisters are taking care

of everything.

so that we can have this space

to really stop and look more deeply.

Yesterday we were very fortunate

to bathe in very beautiful bath of Dharma

by Sister Chan Duc.

And in her talk

we learn about pleasant,

neutral, and mixed feelings.

I'm very aware right now

that in this big hall

there's not a single mosquito

biting me right now.

(audience laugh)

and that neutral feeling

is actually a very pleasant feeling.

We can touch the practices of mindfulness

in very concrete ways,

in moment to moment

of our daily life.

If we look with

the eyes of a practitioner

there's always a chance for us

to explore our mind

explore the minds of others,

come to a deeper understanding.

So today...

I'd like to go further into

the practice of peace

We learnt yesterday that

peace comes from above all,

from awareness of our pleasant feelings,

awareness of our neutral feelings,

and just from that awareness

grows the nourishment.

Happiness can grow from

just being aware.

We also know that

we are not just made of,

we don't just experience

pleasant and neutral feelings.

We are a whole spectrum.

We also have quite unpleasant feelings

sometimes.

Uhm.

And the practice of peace,

being peace within oneself

is not just to be with

our pleasant and neutral feelings

but learning how to engage with

relate to

and transform those

unpleasant feelings as well.

So the practice of peace

is the spirit of peace

which we relate to those

icky mosquitoes

those pesky conversations,

those irritations.

And it plays out in

the social sphere.

We are very aware that what we do here

is not just for our small, insular selves,

not even just for our family,

but it has a great impact out in society.

Our capacity to

take care of those uncomfortable things

that come our way

gives us strength to face

confront and help to transform

engage in

those things that are much larger

much more troublesome

out there in society.

So peaceful confrontation is actually

an actuality, a possibility,

if we put our energy of practice into it.

A number of years ago on a

it was one of our US tours

We made [inaudible] to our neighbours

up North in Canada.

I remember a particular incident that

always stay with me.

It's about peaceful confrontation.

A number of us were on an afternoon

We had a kind of a lazy day

when we weren't engaged in a Dharma

a retreat.

So we were taking a walk out on town.

And it was number of brothers and sisters

together.

And there was a gentleman

who was starting to follow

follow us.

And he was engaging in speech

that was a little bit of a...

inquisitive, not necessarily negative,

but a little bit provocative.

And he started to follow.

And in particular, he started to...

tried to engage the sisters

in the group.

This went on for maybe, probably

half a block or a block.

And because the sisters weren't reacting

We were trying our best not to react

to this kind of provocation.

It started escalating.

It was touching something in him

so he started getting a little pushy

a little aggressive.

And one of our brothers

in the group

When he realised what was happening,

very quickly, but very kindly,

the energy was confrontatory but

peaceful, not angry at all.

He turned to the man

and, "Woo woo,"

"We're just trying

to have a peaceful walk here.

I'm sure you can understand."

The brothers and sisters

continued to walk

and he engaged

the gentleman in that conversation

of who we are, what we are about,

why we are wearing brown.

I'm sure in his heart

he has intentions, good intention

to know what in the world

is going on with all these brown

and bald-headed people.

But the way that

he was engaging with us,

it was quite uncomfortable.

And so

That image of that brother

taking that action

very peacefully

stayed with me.

And for me it's an example of

how, if we are from

a place of peace, of clarity

we can engage in action that

has a positive effect,

that doesn't escalate the matter.

And it's a way forward for both

that gentleman and for us.

So this is

Today's talk is dedicated to

one of our favourite strong emotions.

Out of fear, despair and anger,

I decided to focus on anger today.

So we know that

working on anger is not just management.

We hear that a lot sometimes,

anger management.

I want to emphasize that,

working with, understanding our anger,

is peace work.

Peace work is anger work.

Anger work is peace work.

And it's important that we engage

in this mud,

because we as human beings

we should give ourselves permission

to be fully human,

fallable, we make mistakes.

We dig (?) into negative afflictions.

And to acknowledge that, first of all,

is a practice of loving kindness

for ourselves and all of humanity.

When we can begin to acknowledge

that there is that seed of anger in us

then that's the start of being

able to be in peace

with those parts of ourselves

that are uncomfortable.

So how many of us here

has anger issues?

Okay. That's kind of a hard term.

So how about,

how many of us have challenges

with anger sometimes?

Okay, a little bit more people.

How many of us

who know someone

who has issues with anger?

(audience laugh)

Okay.

So honestly most of us should be

raising our hands at that point

because as we learn from

Buddhist psychology

we all have all of these seeds

positve and negative,

wholesome or unwholesome.

And it's just a matter of fact,

reality to say

Yes, I have anger in me.

Yes, my loved one has anger in them.

And yes sometimes I water that anger

in them quite a lot.

So this is a loving approach

to this seed.

So we acknowledge it

in order to become more whole

first of all.

We also need to work on

our anger as a practice

because if we leave

this particular seed untended

it can have quite harmful effects.

We already can see that,

out in society,

out in our relationship when we

have arguments, conflicts,

and they fester,

We don't take care of our anger.

We don't acknowledge

the other person's anger.

We see it in the political sphere.

So we know that

anger is a force to be reckoned with.

And as an emotion,

in Buddhism, we know its rightful place

in our life.

Maybe it's taking up quite a lot of space

in our heart and mind right now.

But the teachings point to a drawer

that we can actually

we can accurately put the emotion in.

It is an emotion,

our teacher would say.

It is just an emotion.

It's not to negate its power

but to help us to begin to have a

working loving relationship with anger.

So for me I respect anger greatly.

First of all because

I can see how harmful it can be in me.

It wreaks havocs in my peace of mind.

Sometimes when I'm bit by anger,

it takes quite a long time

to come back to a place of stillness

and clarify, loving kindness.

And I see it in my relationship

with others.

When I touch someone with anger,

you know you have to deal with

the karma of that.

So who wants that right?

So it's something we respect

because it has a power to effect

very negatively the environment.

But also we respect our emotions,

we respect other people's emotions

because it is a gateway

into understanding ourselves more deeply.

What is at the heart of what we value,

what we hold dear,

what we're afraid of.

Anger is that gate that allows us

to see ourselves,

sometimes quite suddenly,

more clearly.

So today I'd like to invite us

to gather the strength

to look deeply at our own anger.

Make it a personal thing.

This is your anger,

or your beloved one's anger.

Actually probably it's your anger

but if it's easier, let's just say,

your beloved one's anger.

(audience laugh)

Make it personal.

And we take strength to look into this

because we are being nourished everyday

at this retreat with Dharma,

with awareness of

the positive and neutral.

So we already have a foundation

from which to take some strength

to now, shine the light

in our darker corner,

deeper corner.

And secondly, we take courage from

our aspiration to do well by the world

to do well by others.

We take courage from the fact that

everywhere in every corner

of this monastery

we have safe spaces

in our Dharma sharing circles

to engage in this acknowledgement

of who we are as whole human beings,

the anger, the joy,

the hope, the fear.

We're opening ourselves up

to who we are

to be fully human.

Okay, so anger is front and centre.

So we're gonna put anger up

on the pedestal to kind of

a clump of clay (?)

and look at it.

I think most of us know

what anger feels like.

So there's a couple of approaches

that I'd like to take.

First of all, we will get into

how it feels like in our mind and body

but first of all, from a more

objective space.

Take a step back and look at it,

kind of from a personal academic's way.

Anger is what?

Anger is a kind of feeling

unpleasant feeling first of all.

And anger is an intense displeasure

pointed towards, against

something that causes us something.

Some big questions right?

So let me just write a few

of these phrases down.

Intense displeasure

aimed towards

so it's not sitting there but it's

coming out of you.

It's radiating out,

aimed at that thing or that person

or that situation that

we perceive is hurting us,

harming us,

offending us,

annoying us.

Okay. So it's an intense displeasure

radiating out, aimed against

something that is causing us

some kind of blockage.

The question before is,

when we look deeply,

what is it blocking?

We'll get back to that later.

What is it challenging

that causes us to kind of

swarmed up like a bee's nest.

Okay.

So I... I don't know if anyone

ever has a callus

either on your food, your hand, right.

We know that in the body

the body has a way of dealing with pain,

sensitivities.

For example, you get a splinter in

finger or your...

Or I play the guitar so I...

when I play, the nerves underneath

are quite sensitive.

And over time,

a callus kind of is created above that

that sensitivity,

or that splinter,

or that corn in your foot.

Underneath that hard part,

there is an area of sensitivity.

And I'd like to invite us to

reflect on anger

as this combination of

hardness,

or harshness, that callus.

And that underlying sensitivity,

what lies underneath?

Again, that's the question.

We can see anger as a kind of habit energy

of reacting.

And it's a reaction because

we are trying to regain

or restore something that we have lost.

Sometimes anger comes

from a place of fear, right?

I remember a friend of mine

in college.

She almost overdosed.

At that time I didn't know that

she was trying to block out pain.

I thought that she was trying

to commit suicide.

And I didn't understand why.

So when I heard that

she had almost overdosed and I...

What it touched in me was

that strong fear, that strong anger,

strong fear followed by anger.

And I confronted her with that question,

"How could you do that?"

"What were you thinking?"

And I learnt after that

that she wasn't trying to

harm or hurt herself.

She was just trying to block out

the pain with the pills.

And that was the only way she knew how.

But in that situation,

both she and I touched

desparation and fear.

And mine turned into anger.

And hers turned into trying to escape.

There's a relationship between

fear and anger sometimes.

If any of us are parents...

How many of us here are parents?

Yeah. Do you ever get angry

at your children

because they've done something

that scared the beeheegeebee (?)

out of you?

Right. That fear quickly can

turn into anger.

So this is a reaction that we need

to look at carefully,

to get at the roots of.

So fear is one side, one kind of push,

and anger, one kind of sensitivity.

This sensitivity here

what is underneath is

a fear.

Fear something that...

It's feeling afraid

something in us that was secure

was no longer secure.

So underneath this harshness,

this prickliness of our anger

is also a sense of sense,

what we call it manas,

what we define as who we are,

what belongs to us,

I, me, mine.

And when that is threatened,

that can also give rise to anger, right?

How dare you cut in front of me

when I'm driving?

This lane belongs to me (laugh), right?

Road rage is a very strange phenomenon

but when you look at it

in the light of a sense of self,

it becomes a little bit

more understandable.

How dare you take away from me?

That belongs to me.

How dare you challenge my view,

my view?

So it all has something to do with

our sense of self,

our pride,

what we feel entitled to.

Never mind about we actually are

entitled to it or not.

That's not the question.

As Dharma practitioner,

we focus on the facileness of our mind

in relationship to what is it

that is there.

We talk about right action later okay? 25:30