9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(bell)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(bell)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(bell)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Dear Respected Thay, dear Respected Elders, dear brothers and sisters, dear community,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Good morning

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Today is October 12th, 2017.

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We're in the Great Meditation Hall

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
at Magnolia Grove Monastery

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
on the third day of the Magnolia Grove

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
US Tour Retreat entitled

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Peace in Oneself, Peace in the World

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Can everyone hear okay?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Okay.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I hope everyone has had a chance

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to settle in

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
become acclimated to the changing climate

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's usually nice to be at the monastery

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
for at least 3 to 4 days

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because it takes time for the body

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and the mind to really shift gears

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
from the speed and the pace outside

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and sometimes if we don't allow

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
our body and mind to settle

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
we continue to run in the monastery

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So I hope you've taken conscientious step

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to slow down and enjoy

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the slower pace here

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the nothing-to-doness here

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the brothers and sisters are taking care

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of everything.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
so that we can have this space

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to really stop and look more deeply.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yesterday we were very fortunate

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to bathe in very beautiful bath of Dharma

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
by Sister Chan Duc.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And in her talk

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
we learn about pleasant,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
neutral, and mixed feelings.

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I'm very aware right now

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that in this big hall

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
there's not a single mosquito

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
biting me right now.

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(audience laugh)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and that neutral feeling

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is actually a very pleasant feeling.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We can touch the practices of mindfulness

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in very concrete ways,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in moment to moment

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of our daily life.

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If we look with

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the eyes of a practitioner

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
there's always a chance for us

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to explore our mind

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
explore the minds of others,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
come to a deeper understanding.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So today...

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I'd like to go further into

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the practice of peace

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We learnt yesterday that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
peace comes from above all,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
from awareness of our pleasant feelings,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
awareness of our neutral feelings,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and just from that awareness

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
grows the nourishment.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Happiness can grow from

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
just being aware.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We also know that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
we are not just made of,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
we don't just experience

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
pleasant and neutral feelings.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We are a whole spectrum.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We also have quite unpleasant feelings

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
sometimes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Uhm.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And the practice of peace,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
being peace within oneself

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is not just to be with

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
our pleasant and neutral feelings

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but learning how to engage with

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
relate to

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and transform those

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
unpleasant feelings as well.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So the practice of peace

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is the spirit of peace

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which we relate to those

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
icky mosquitoes

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
those pesky conversations,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
those irritations.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And it plays out in

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the social sphere.

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We are very aware that what we do here

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is not just for our small, insular selves,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
not even just for our family,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but it has a great impact out in society.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Our capacity to

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
take care of those uncomfortable things

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that come our way

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
gives us strength to face

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
confront and help to transform

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
engage in

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
those things that are much larger

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
much more troublesome

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
out there in society.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So peaceful confrontation is actually

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
an actuality, a possibility,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
if we put our energy of practice into it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
A number of years ago on a

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it was one of our US tours

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We made [inaudible] to our neighbours

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
up North in Canada.

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I remember a particular incident that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
always stay with me.

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It's about peaceful confrontation.

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A number of us were on an afternoon

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We had a kind of a lazy day

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
when we weren't engaged in a Dharma

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a retreat.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So we were taking a walk out on town.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And it was number of brothers and sisters

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
together.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And there was a gentleman

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who was starting to follow

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
follow us.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And he was engaging in speech

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that was a little bit of a...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
inquisitive, not necessarily negative,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but a little bit provocative.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And he started to follow.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And in particular, he started to...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
tried to engage the sisters

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in the group.

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This went on for maybe, probably

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
half a block or a block.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And because the sisters weren't reacting

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We were trying our best not to react

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to this kind of provocation.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It started escalating.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It was touching something in him

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
so he started getting a little pushy

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a little aggressive.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And one of our brothers

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in the group

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
When he realised what was happening,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
very quickly, but very kindly,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the energy was confrontatory but

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
peaceful, not angry at all.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He turned to the man

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and, "Woo woo,"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"We're just trying

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to have a peaceful walk here.

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I'm sure you can understand."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The brothers and sisters

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
continued to walk

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and he engaged

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the gentleman in that conversation

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of who we are, what we are about,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
why we are wearing brown.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm sure in his heart

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
he has intentions, good intention

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to know what in the world

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is going on with all these brown

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and bald-headed people.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But the way that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
he was engaging with us,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it was quite uncomfortable.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And so

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That image of that brother

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
taking that action

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
very peacefully

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
stayed with me.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And for me it's an example of

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
how, if we are from

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a place of peace, of clarity

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
we can engage in action that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
has a positive effect,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that doesn't escalate the matter.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And it's a way forward for both

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that gentleman and for us.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So this is

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Today's talk is dedicated to

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
one of our favourite strong emotions.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Out of fear, despair and anger,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I decided to focus on anger today.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So we know that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
working on anger is not just management.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We hear that a lot sometimes,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
anger management.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I want to emphasize that,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
working with, understanding our anger,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is peace work.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Peace work is anger work.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Anger work is peace work.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And it's important that we engage

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in this mud,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because we as human beings

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
we should give ourselves permission

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to be fully human,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
fallable, we make mistakes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We dig (?) into negative afflictions.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And to acknowledge that, first of all,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is a practice of loving kindness

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
for ourselves and all of humanity.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
When we can begin to acknowledge

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that there is that seed of anger in us

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
then that's the start of being

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
able to be in peace

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with those parts of ourselves

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that are uncomfortable.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So how many of us here

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
has anger issues?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Okay. That's kind of a hard term.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So how about,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
how many of us have challenges

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with anger sometimes?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Okay, a little bit more people.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
How many of us

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who know someone

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who has issues with anger?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(audience laugh)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Okay.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So honestly most of us should be

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
raising our hands at that point

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because as we learn from

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Buddhist psychology

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
we all have all of these seeds

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
positve and negative,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
wholesome or unwholesome.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And it's just a matter of fact,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
reality to say

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yes, I have anger in me.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yes, my loved one has anger in them.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And yes sometimes I water that anger

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in them quite a lot.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So this is a loving approach

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to this seed.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So we acknowledge it

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in order to become more whole

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
first of all.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We also need to work on

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
our anger as a practice

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because if we leave

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
this particular seed untended

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it can have quite harmful effects.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We already can see that,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
out in society,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
out in our relationship when we

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
have arguments, conflicts,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and they fester,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We don't take care of our anger.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We don't acknowledge

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the other person's anger.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We see it in the political sphere.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So we know that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
anger is a force to be reckoned with.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And as an emotion,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in Buddhism, we know its rightful place

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in our life.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Maybe it's taking up quite a lot of space

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in our heart and mind right now.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But the teachings point to a drawer

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that we can actually

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
we can accurately put the emotion in.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It is an emotion,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
our teacher would say.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It is just an emotion.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's not to negate its power

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but to help us to begin to have a

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
working loving relationship with anger.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So for me I respect anger greatly.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
First of all because

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I can see how harmful it can be in me.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It wreaks havocs in my peace of mind.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Sometimes when I'm bit by anger,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it takes quite a long time

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to come back to a place of stillness

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and clarify, loving kindness.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And I see it in my relationship

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with others.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
When I touch someone with anger,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
you know you have to deal with

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the karma of that.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So who wants that right?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So it's something we respect

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because it has a power to effect

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
very negatively the environment.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But also we respect our emotions,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
we respect other people's emotions

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because it is a gateway

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
into understanding ourselves more deeply.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What is at the heart of what we value,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
what we hold dear,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
what we're afraid of.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Anger is that gate that allows us

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to see ourselves,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
sometimes quite suddenly,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
more clearly.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So today I'd like to invite us

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to gather the strength

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to look deeply at our own anger.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Make it a personal thing.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This is your anger,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
or your beloved one's anger.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Actually probably it's your anger

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but if it's easier, let's just say,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
your beloved one's anger.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(audience laugh)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Make it personal.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And we take strength to look into this

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because we are being nourished everyday

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
at this retreat with Dharma,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with awareness of

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the positive and neutral.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So we already have a foundation

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
from which to take some strength

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to now, shine the light

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in our darker corner,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
deeper corner.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And secondly, we take courage from

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
our aspiration to do well by the world

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to do well by others.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We take courage from the fact that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
everywhere in every corner

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of this monastery

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
we have safe spaces

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in our Dharma sharing circles

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to engage in this acknowledgement

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of who we are as whole human beings,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the anger, the joy,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the hope, the fear.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We're opening ourselves up

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to who we are

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to be fully human.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Okay, so anger is front and centre.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So we're gonna put anger up

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
on the pedestal to kind of

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a clump of clay (?)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and look at it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I think most of us know

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
what anger feels like.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So there's a couple of approaches

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that I'd like to take.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
First of all, we will get into

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
how it feels like in our mind and body

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but first of all, from a more

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
objective space.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Take a step back and look at it,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
kind of from a personal academic's way.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Anger is what?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Anger is a kind of feeling

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
unpleasant feeling first of all.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And anger is an intense displeasure

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
pointed towards, against

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
something that causes us something.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Some big questions right?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So let me just write a few

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of these phrases down.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Intense displeasure

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
aimed towards

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
so it's not sitting there but it's

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
coming out of you.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's radiating out,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
aimed at that thing or that person

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
or that situation that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
we perceive is hurting us,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
harming us,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
offending us,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
annoying us.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Okay. So it's an intense displeasure

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
radiating out, aimed against

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
something that is causing us

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
some kind of blockage.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The question before is,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
when we look deeply,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
what is it blocking?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We'll get back to that later.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What is it challenging

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that causes us to kind of

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
swarmed up like a bee's nest.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Okay.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So I... I don't know if anyone

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
ever has a callus

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
either on your food, your hand, right.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We know that in the body

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the body has a way of dealing with pain,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
sensitivities.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
For example, you get a splinter in

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
finger or your...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Or I play the guitar so I...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
when I play, the nerves underneath

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
are quite sensitive.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And over time,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a callus kind of is created above that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that sensitivity,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
or that splinter,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
or that corn in your foot.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Underneath that hard part,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
there is an area of sensitivity.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And I'd like to invite us to

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
reflect on anger

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
as this combination of

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
hardness,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
or harshness, that callus.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And that underlying sensitivity,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
what lies underneath?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Again, that's the question.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We can see anger as a kind of habit energy

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of reacting.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And it's a reaction because

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
we are trying to regain

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
or restore something that we have lost.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Sometimes anger comes

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
from a place of fear, right?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I remember a friend of mine

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in college.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
She almost overdosed.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
At that time I didn't know that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
she was trying to block out pain.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I thought that she was trying

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to commit suicide.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And I didn't understand why.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So when I heard that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
she had almost overdosed and I...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What it touched in me was

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that strong fear, that strong anger,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
strong fear followed by anger.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And I confronted her with that question,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"How could you do that?"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"What were you thinking?"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And I learnt after that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that she wasn't trying to

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
harm or hurt herself.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
She was just trying to block out

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the pain with the pills.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And that was the only way she knew how.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But in that situation,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
both she and I touched

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
desparation and fear.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And mine turned into anger.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And hers turned into trying to escape.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's a relationship between

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
fear and anger sometimes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If any of us are parents...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
How many of us here are parents?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yeah. Do you ever get angry

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
at your children

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because they've done something

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that scared the beeheegeebee (?)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
out of you?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Right. That fear quickly can

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
turn into anger.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So this is a reaction that we need

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to look at carefully,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to get at the roots of.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So fear is one side, one kind of push,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and anger, one kind of sensitivity.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This sensitivity here

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
what is underneath is

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a fear.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Fear something that...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's feeling afraid

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
something in us that was secure

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
was no longer secure.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So underneath this harshness,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
this prickliness of our anger

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is also a sense of sense,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
what we call it manas,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
what we define as who we are,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
what belongs to us,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I, me, mine.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And when that is threatened,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that can also give rise to anger, right?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
How dare you cut in front of me

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
when I'm driving?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This lane belongs to me (laugh), right?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Road rage is a very strange phenomenon

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but when you look at it

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in the light of a sense of self,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it becomes a little bit

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
more understandable.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
How dare you take away from me?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That belongs to me.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
How dare you challenge my view,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
my view?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So it all has something to do with

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
our sense of self,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
our pride,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
what we feel entitled to.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Never mind about we actually are

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
entitled to it or not.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That's not the question.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
As Dharma practitioner,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
we focus on the facileness of our mind

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in relationship to what is it

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that is there.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We talk about right action later okay? 25:30