(bell)
Dear Respected Thay, dear Respected Elders, dear brothers and sisters, dear community,
Good morning
Today is October 12th, 2017.
We're in the Great Meditation Hall
at Magnolia Grove Monastery
on the third day of the Magnolia Grove
US Tour Retreat entitled
Peace in Oneself, Peace in the World
Can everyone hear okay?
Okay.
I hope everyone has had a chance
to settle in
become acclimated to the changing climate
It's usually nice to be at the monastery
for at least 3 to 4 days
because it takes time for the body
and the mind to really shift gears
from the speed and the pace outside
and sometimes if we don't allow
our body and mind to settle
we continue to run in the monastery
So I hope you've taken conscientious step
to slow down and enjoy
the slower pace here
the nothing-to-doness here
the brothers and sisters are taking care
of everything.
so that we can have this space
to really stop and look more deeply.
Yesterday we were very fortunate
to bathe in very beautiful bath of Dharma
by Sister Chan Duc.
And in her talk
we learn about pleasant,
neutral, and mixed feelings.
I'm very aware right now
that in this big hall
there's not a single mosquito
biting me right now.
(audience laugh)
and that neutral feeling
is actually a very pleasant feeling.
We can touch the practices of mindfulness
in very concrete ways,
in moment to moment
of our daily life.
If we look with
the eyes of a practitioner
there's always a chance for us
to explore our mind
explore the minds of others,
come to a deeper understanding.
So today...
I'd like to go further into
the practice of peace
We learnt yesterday that
peace comes from above all,
from awareness of our pleasant feelings,
awareness of our neutral feelings,
and just from that awareness
grows the nourishment.
Happiness can grow from
just being aware.
We also know that
we are not just made of,
we don't just experience
pleasant and neutral feelings.
We are a whole spectrum.
We also have quite unpleasant feelings
sometimes.
Uhm.
And the practice of peace,
being peace within oneself
is not just to be with
our pleasant and neutral feelings
but learning how to engage with
relate to
and transform those
unpleasant feelings as well.
So the practice of peace
is the spirit of peace
which we relate to those
icky mosquitoes
those pesky conversations,
those irritations.
And it plays out in
the social sphere.
We are very aware that what we do here
is not just for our small, insular selves,
not even just for our family,
but it has a great impact out in society.
Our capacity to
take care of those uncomfortable things
that come our way
gives us strength to face
confront and help to transform
engage in
those things that are much larger
much more troublesome
out there in society.
So peaceful confrontation is actually
an actuality, a possibility,
if we put our energy of practice into it.
A number of years ago on a
it was one of our US tours
We made [inaudible] to our neighbours
up North in Canada.
I remember a particular incident that
always stay with me.
It's about peaceful confrontation.
A number of us were on an afternoon
We had a kind of a lazy day
when we weren't engaged in a Dharma
a retreat.
So we were taking a walk out on town.
And it was number of brothers and sisters
together.
And there was a gentleman
who was starting to follow
follow us.
And he was engaging in speech
that was a little bit of a...
inquisitive, not necessarily negative,
but a little bit provocative.
And he started to follow.
And in particular, he started to...
tried to engage the sisters
in the group.
This went on for maybe, probably
half a block or a block.
And because the sisters weren't reacting
We were trying our best not to react
to this kind of provocation.
It started escalating.
It was touching something in him
so he started getting a little pushy
a little aggressive.
And one of our brothers
in the group
When he realised what was happening,
very quickly, but very kindly,
the energy was confrontatory but
peaceful, not angry at all.
He turned to the man
and, "Woo woo,"
"We're just trying
to have a peaceful walk here.
I'm sure you can understand."
The brothers and sisters
continued to walk
and he engaged
the gentleman in that conversation
of who we are, what we are about,
why we are wearing brown.
I'm sure in his heart
he has intentions, good intention
to know what in the world
is going on with all these brown
and bald-headed people.
But the way that
he was engaging with us,
it was quite uncomfortable.
And so
That image of that brother
taking that action
very peacefully
stayed with me.
And for me it's an example of
how, if we are from
a place of peace, of clarity
we can engage in action that
has a positive effect,
that doesn't escalate the matter.
And it's a way forward for both
that gentleman and for us.
So this is
Today's talk is dedicated to
one of our favourite strong emotions.
Out of fear, despair and anger,
I decided to focus on anger today.
So we know that
working on anger is not just management.
We hear that a lot sometimes,
anger management.
I want to emphasize that,
working with, understanding our anger,
is peace work.
Peace work is anger work.
Anger work is peace work.
And it's important that we engage
in this mud,
because we as human beings
we should give ourselves permission
to be fully human,
fallable, we make mistakes.
We dig (?) into negative afflictions.
And to acknowledge that, first of all,
is a practice of loving kindness
for ourselves and all of humanity.
When we can begin to acknowledge
that there is that seed of anger in us
then that's the start of being
able to be in peace
with those parts of ourselves
that are uncomfortable.
So how many of us here
has anger issues?
Okay. That's kind of a hard term.
So how about,
how many of us have challenges
with anger sometimes?
Okay, a little bit more people.
How many of us
who know someone
who has issues with anger?
(audience laugh)
Okay.
So honestly most of us should be
raising our hands at that point
because as we learn from
Buddhist psychology
we all have all of these seeds
positve and negative,
wholesome or unwholesome.
And it's just a matter of fact,
reality to say
Yes, I have anger in me.
Yes, my loved one has anger in them.
And yes sometimes I water that anger
in them quite a lot.
So this is a loving approach
to this seed.
So we acknowledge it
in order to become more whole
first of all.
We also need to work on
our anger as a practice
because if we leave
this particular seed untended
it can have quite harmful effects.
We already can see that,
out in society,
out in our relationship when we
have arguments, conflicts,
and they fester,
We don't take care of our anger.
We don't acknowledge
the other person's anger.
We see it in the political sphere.
So we know that
anger is a force to be reckoned with.
And as an emotion,
in Buddhism, we know its rightful place
in our life.
Maybe it's taking up quite a lot of space
in our heart and mind right now.
But the teachings point to a drawer
that we can actually
we can accurately put the emotion in.
It is an emotion,
our teacher would say.
It is just an emotion.
It's not to negate its power
but to help us to begin to have a
working loving relationship with anger.
So for me I respect anger greatly.
First of all because
I can see how harmful it can be in me.
It wreaks havocs in my peace of mind.
Sometimes when I'm bit by anger,
it takes quite a long time
to come back to a place of stillness
and clarify, loving kindness.
And I see it in my relationship
with others.
When I touch someone with anger,
you know you have to deal with
the karma of that.
So who wants that right?
So it's something we respect
because it has a power to effect
very negatively the environment.
But also we respect our emotions,
we respect other people's emotions
because it is a gateway
into understanding ourselves more deeply.
What is at the heart of what we value,
what we hold dear,
what we're afraid of.
Anger is that gate that allows us
to see ourselves,
sometimes quite suddenly,
more clearly.
So today I'd like to invite us
to gather the strength
to look deeply at our own anger.
Make it a personal thing.
This is your anger,
or your beloved one's anger.
Actually probably it's your anger
but if it's easier, let's just say,
your beloved one's anger.
(audience laugh)
Make it personal.
And we take strength to look into this
because we are being nourished everyday
at this retreat with Dharma,
with awareness of
the positive and neutral.
So we already have a foundation
from which to take some strength
to now, shine the light
in our darker corner,
deeper corner.
And secondly, we take courage from
our aspiration to do well by the world
to do well by others.
We take courage from the fact that
everywhere in every corner
of this monastery
we have safe spaces
in our Dharma sharing circles
to engage in this acknowledgement
of who we are as whole human beings,
the anger, the joy,
the hope, the fear.
We're opening ourselves up
to who we are
to be fully human.
Okay, so anger is front and centre.
So we're gonna put anger up
on the pedestal to kind of
a clump of clay (?)
and look at it.
I think most of us know
what anger feels like.
So there's a couple of approaches
that I'd like to take.
First of all, we will get into
how it feels like in our mind and body
but first of all, from a more
objective space.
Take a step back and look at it,
kind of from a personal academic's way.
Anger is what?
Anger is a kind of feeling
unpleasant feeling first of all.
And anger is an intense displeasure
pointed towards, against
something that causes us something.
Some big questions right?
So let me just write a few
of these phrases down.
Intense displeasure
aimed towards
so it's not sitting there but it's
coming out of you.
It's radiating out,
aimed at that thing or that person
or that situation that
we perceive is hurting us,
harming us,
offending us,
annoying us.
Okay. So it's an intense displeasure
radiating out, aimed against
something that is causing us
some kind of blockage.
The question before is,
when we look deeply,
what is it blocking?
We'll get back to that later.
What is it challenging
that causes us to kind of
swarmed up like a bee's nest.
Okay.
So I... I don't know if anyone
ever has a callus
either on your food, your hand, right.
We know that in the body
the body has a way of dealing with pain,
sensitivities.
For example, you get a splinter in
finger or your...
Or I play the guitar so I...
when I play, the nerves underneath
are quite sensitive.
And over time,
a callus kind of is created above that
that sensitivity,
or that splinter,
or that corn in your foot.
Underneath that hard part,
there is an area of sensitivity.
And I'd like to invite us to
reflect on anger
as this combination of
hardness,
or harshness, that callus.
And that underlying sensitivity,
what lies underneath?
Again, that's the question.
We can see anger as a kind of habit energy
of reacting.
And it's a reaction because
we are trying to regain
or restore something that we have lost.
Sometimes anger comes
from a place of fear, right?
I remember a friend of mine
in college.
She almost overdosed.
At that time I didn't know that
she was trying to block out pain.
I thought that she was trying
to commit suicide.
And I didn't understand why.
So when I heard that
she had almost overdosed and I...
What it touched in me was
that strong fear, that strong anger,
strong fear followed by anger.
And I confronted her with that question,
"How could you do that?"
"What were you thinking?"
And I learnt after that
that she wasn't trying to
harm or hurt herself.
She was just trying to block out
the pain with the pills.
And that was the only way she knew how.
But in that situation,
both she and I touched
desparation and fear.
And mine turned into anger.
And hers turned into trying to escape.
There's a relationship between
fear and anger sometimes.
If any of us are parents...
How many of us here are parents?
Yeah. Do you ever get angry
at your children
because they've done something
that scared the beeheegeebee (?)
out of you?
Right. That fear quickly can
turn into anger.
So this is a reaction that we need
to look at carefully,
to get at the roots of.
So fear is one side, one kind of push,
and anger, one kind of sensitivity.
This sensitivity here
what is underneath is
a fear.
Fear something that...
It's feeling afraid
something in us that was secure
was no longer secure.
So underneath this harshness,
this prickliness of our anger
is also a sense of sense,
what we call it manas,
what we define as who we are,
what belongs to us,
I, me, mine.
And when that is threatened,
that can also give rise to anger, right?
How dare you cut in front of me
when I'm driving?
This lane belongs to me (laugh), right?
Road rage is a very strange phenomenon
but when you look at it
in the light of a sense of self,
it becomes a little bit
more understandable.
How dare you take away from me?
That belongs to me.
How dare you challenge my view,
my view?
So it all has something to do with
our sense of self,
our pride,
what we feel entitled to.
Never mind about we actually are
entitled to it or not.
That's not the question.
As Dharma practitioner,
we focus on the facileness of our mind
in relationship to what is it
that is there.
We talk about right action later okay? 25:30