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Good Morning
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Worldwide, over 1.5 billion people
experience armed conflict
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In response, people are forced to flee
their country.
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leaving over 15 million refugees.
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Children without a doubt are
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the most innocent and vulnerable victims.
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But not just from the obvious
physical dangers,
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but from, the often, unspoken affects
that wars have on their families.
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The experiences of war leave children
at real high risk
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for the development of emotional
and behavioural problems.
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Children as we can only imagine,
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will feel worried, threaten and at risk.
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But there is good news,
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the quality of care that children recieve
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in their families, can have a
more significant effects
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on their well-being, than from
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the actual experiences of war that
they have been exposed to.
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So actually, children can be protected
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by warm, secure parenting,
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during and after conflict.
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In 2011, I was a first year PHD Student
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in the University Of Manchester
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School Of Physiological Sciences.
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Like many of you here, I watched
the crisis in Syria
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unfold in front of me on the Tv.
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My family are originally from Syria,
and very early on
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I lost several family members
in really horrifying ways.
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I sit and I gathered with my family
and watched the TV.
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So we have all seen those scenes,
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bombs destroying, buildings,
chaos, destruction.
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and people screaming and running.
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it was always the people screaming
and running
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that really got me the most.
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Specially those terrified looking children.
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I was a mother to two young,
typically inquisitive children.
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They were five and six then.
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At an age when they typically
ask lots and lots of questions
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and expect real convincing answers.
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So I began to wonder what it might be like
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to parent my children in a war-zone
and a refugee camp.
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Would my children change?
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Would my daughter's bright happy eyes lose their shine?
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Would my sons' really relax
care-free nature
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become fearful and withdrawn?
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How would I cope?
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Would I change?
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As psychologists and parent's trainers
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we know that arming parents
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with skills and caring for their children
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can have a huge effect on their well-being.
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We call this parents training.
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So the questions I had
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was could Parent Training programs be useful for families
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while they're still in war-zones or refugee camps?
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Could we reach them with advise or training
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that would help them through the struggles?
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So, I approached my PHD supervisor,
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professor Rachel Calam,
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with the idea of using my academic skills
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to make some changes in the real world.
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I wasn't quite sure, exactly,
what I wanted to do.
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She listened carefully and patiently,
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And to my joy, she said:
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"If that is what you want to do,
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and it means so much to you, then
let's do it.
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Let's find ways to see if
parent programs can be useful
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for families in this contexts."
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So for the past five years myself and my colleagues,
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professor Calam and Dr. Kim Cartwright
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have been working on ways
to support families
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that have experienced war
and displacement.
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Now, to know how to help
families that have been
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through conflict, support their children,
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The first step must obviously be
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to ask them what are they
struggling with. Right?
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I mean, it seems obvious,
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but often those are the
most vulnerable
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that we are trying to support that we actually don't ask.
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How many times have we just assumed
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we know exactly the right thing that
is gonna help someone or something
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without actually asking them first.
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So i travelled to the refugee camps
in Syria and in Turkey.
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And i sat with families and I listened.
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I listened to the parenting challenges
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I listened to the parenting struggles
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And I listened to their call for help
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And sometimes that was
just paused
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as all I could was hold hand
with them and just join them
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in silence crying and prayer
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So they told me about their struggles
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They told me about the rough,
harsh refugee camp condition
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That made it hard to focus on
anything but practical chores
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like collecting clean water
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He told me how they watch their
children with draw
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the sadness, depression, anger
bed-wetting, thumb sucking
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fear of loud noises, fear of nightmares
terrifying terrifying nightmares
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this families had been through
what we had been watching on the TV
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the mothers almost half of them were
now window of the wars
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or didn't even know their husbands
were dead or alive
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describe how they thought they
were coping so badly
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They watch their children change
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and they have had no idea
how to help them.
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They didn't know how to answer
their children's questions.
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why I found incredibly
astonishing and so motivational
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was that these families was so
motivated to support their children
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Despite all the challenges they faced
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they were trying to help their children
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they were making attempts at seeking
support from NGO workers
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from refugee camp teachers,
professional medics, other parents.
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One mother I met had only been
account for 4 days
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and had already made two attempts
at seeking support
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for her eight -year-old daughter
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who was having terrifying nightmares.
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But sadly, these attempts are
almost always useless.
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Refugee camp doctors when available
are almost always too busy or
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don't have the knowledge or
the time for basic parenting supports.
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Refugee camp teachers and other
parents I just like them
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part of a new refugee community
who's struggling with needs