WEBVTT

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Good Morning

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Worldwide, over 1.5 billion people 
experience armed conflict

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In response, people are forced to flee 
their country.

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leaving over 15 million refugees.

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Children without a doubt are

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the most innocent and vulnerable victims.

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But not just from the obvious
physical dangers,

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but from, the often, unspoken affects
that wars have on their families.

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The experiences of war leave children 
at real high risk

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for the development of emotional 
and behavioural problems.

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Children as we can only imagine,

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will feel worried, threaten and at risk.

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But there is good news,

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the quality of care that children recieve

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in their families, can have a 
more significant effects

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on their well-being, than from

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the actual experiences of war that 
they have been exposed to.

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So actually, children can be protected

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by warm, secure parenting,

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during and after conflict.

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In 2011, I was a first year PHD Student

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in the University Of Manchester

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School Of Physiological Sciences.

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Like many of you here, I watched 
the crisis in Syria

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unfold in front of me on the Tv.

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My family are originally from Syria,
and very early on

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I lost several family members
in really horrifying ways.

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I sit and I gathered with my family 
and watched the TV.

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So we have all seen those scenes,

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bombs destroying, buildings, 
chaos, destruction.

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and people screaming and running.

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it was always the people screaming
and running

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that really got me the most.

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Specially those terrified looking children.

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I was a mother to two young,
typically inquisitive children.

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They were five and six then.

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At an age when they typically 
ask lots and lots of questions

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and expect real convincing answers.

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So I began to wonder what it might be like

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to parent my children in a war-zone 
and a refugee camp.

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Would my children change?

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Would my daughter's bright happy eyes lose their shine?

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Would my sons' really relax 
care-free nature

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become fearful and withdrawn?

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How would I cope?

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Would I change?

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As psychologists and parent's trainers

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we know that arming parents

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with skills and caring for their children

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can have a huge effect on their well-being.

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We call this parents training.

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So the questions I had

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was could Parent Training programs be useful for families

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while they're still in war-zones or refugee camps?

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Could we reach them with advise or training

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that would help them through the struggles?

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So, I approached my PHD supervisor,

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professor Rachel Calam,

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with the idea of using my academic skills

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to make some changes in the real world.

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I wasn't quite sure, exactly,
what I wanted to do.

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She listened carefully and patiently,

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And to my joy, she said:

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"If that is what you want to do,

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and it means so much to you, then 
let's do it.

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Let's find ways to see if 
parent programs can be useful

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for families in this contexts."

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So for the past five years myself and my colleagues,

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professor Calam and Dr. Kim Cartwright

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have been working on ways 
to support families

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that have experienced war
and displacement.

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Now, to know how to help 
families that have been

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through conflict, support their children,

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The first step must obviously be

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to ask them what are they 
struggling with. Right?

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I mean, it seems obvious,



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but often those are the 
most vulnerable

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that we are trying to support that we actually don't ask.

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How many times have we just assumed

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we know exactly the right thing that 
is gonna help someone or something

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without actually asking them first.

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So i travelled to the refugee camps 
in Syria and in Turkey.

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And i sat with families and I listened.

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I listened to the parenting challenges

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I listened to the parenting struggles

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And I listened to their call for help

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And sometimes that was 
just paused

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as all I could was hold hand
with them and just join them

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in silence crying and prayer

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So they told me about their struggles

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They told me about the rough, 
harsh refugee camp condition

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That made it hard to focus on 
anything but practical chores

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like collecting clean water

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He told me how they watch their 
children with draw

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the sadness, depression, anger
bed-wetting, thumb sucking

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fear of loud noises, fear of nightmares
terrifying terrifying nightmares

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this families had been through
what we had been watching on the TV

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the mothers almost half of them were
now window of the wars

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or didn't even know their husbands
were dead or alive

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describe how they thought they
were coping so badly

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They watch their children change

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and they have had no idea 
how to help them.

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They didn't know how to answer
their children's questions.

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why I found incredibly 
astonishing and so motivational

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was that these families was so 
motivated to support their children

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Despite all the challenges they faced

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they were trying to help their children

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they were making attempts at seeking
support from NGO workers

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from refugee camp teachers,
professional medics, other parents.

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One mother I met had only been 
account for 4 days

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and had already made two attempts
at seeking support

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for her eight -year-old daughter


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who was having terrifying nightmares.

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But sadly, these attempts are 
almost always useless.

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Refugee camp doctors when available 
are almost always too busy or

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don't have the knowledge or
the time for basic parenting supports.

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Refugee camp teachers and other 
parents I just like them

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part of a new refugee community
who's struggling with needs