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Good morning.

What's going on?

Sorry, Gran. I fell over you.

It's like we were about to make love.

- Shame on you.
- You said it.

Hey!

Hey.

I'm so beautiful.

All I did was break a mirror.
What's the big deal?

Put a sock in it!
He's still mouthing off.

What's going on?

Shut up.
Get your car and beat it.

Look, buddy.
I'll send you flying.

Hey, I'm having breakfast.
Stop shouting.

Shut up! Get back inside.

Who are you to park in front
of my place?

Who are you? Who are you?

Do you know who I am?

Fato, what's going on?

The water guy parked his car
in front of Tayyar's place.

Tayyar got pissed off and
broke the car mirror.

That oaf.

The water guy asked why he did it.

Tayyar told the water guy
to forgive and forget.

The water guy said why
and called him an oaf and a dog.

Fatma.

You're getting seriously foul-mouthed.

Clean it up a little.
Shame on you.

Let me go. Let me at him.
OK, just let me go.

I've had it with you.
Come on, have a go.

- Grab him, grab him.
- Come on. Come on.

Shut your mouth. Get going.

He's still mouthing off.
You know how I get when I'm mad.

Hey.

What is it?

What happened? You were mouthing off?
Now scram.

- Tayyar.
- Huh?

Did I get burned?

I got burned!

Because of you!

All because of you.

Just you wait, Deliha.

I'm burning.

I hate trouble in the neighborhood.

You scorched the boy's family jewels.
You scorched the poor kid's future.

What could I do, Havva?

They were locked together.

Should I have let them
become welded?

Anyway, it wasn't boiling.

It was between tepid and boiling.

And he's my cousin.
He bugs me. What's it to you?

Zeliha. Are they a couple of dogs?
What do you mean, locked together?

- Enough of that. Are we going?
- We're going.

Just let me put on some lipstick.

I'm telling you, we shouldn't go.

- It's a sin. We'll pay for it.
- It's on my head then.

It's on my head, Havva.

Deadbeat!

I want to think about whelps today.

- What the hell's a whelp?
- A puppy.

Be downstairs in three minutes.

Fix that.

I can't.

Fix it, I said.
My nerves are shattered.

- It's so hot.
- Suck up my energy, Mom.

I have important stuff on today.

- Like what?
- It's private.

- Give me some money.
- I don't have any.

I need to borrow from your aunt.

It must be 40 degrees.

We don't have a man around.

A woman going out on her own,
my, oh my.

- I'll throw this slipper at you.
- I'll hang you by your ears.

Shut up, that's my line.

You burned the tablecloth again.

It's a lousy tablecloth.

Mom, you look a real wreck.

You missed.

Gran. I'm taking some money.
Forgive me.

Is 100 OK?

I've taken 150.

I'm going to a fortune-teller.
I'll get yours read too.

Maybe you'll get lucky.
Who knows?

Don't worry, there'll still be enough
to get you a shroud. I'll pay it back.

Now say you forgive me.

May your prayers be answered, Gran.

I'm off.

Oh my God. She fell.

God, if I'm downstairs in 10 seconds,
let me meet the love of my life. Amen.

Out the way!

Shame on you.

I made it.

C'mon. Step on it.

How's it going?

I really pity these guys.
They're more in love with me every day.

What a wacko.

Yeah, right. We're so in love.

Are you crazy?

Keep moving. I hit you by mistake.

I don't think much of her,
or her mother.

Her mother threw her mother-in-law
out on the street.

Thank God her handsome brother
came and rescued her.

Such a shame.

Kids.

That's enough. You want me
to slash your ball?

Why do you give me such grief?
Give me that ball quick.

Davut. Hand it over.

Give it to me. Come here.

The neighborhood thinks you're
"that way". Thought you should know.

Get going.

- Get to it.
- Thanks, Zeliha.

- Good day, Eftoptia.
- You too, you crazy girl.

- Good morning, Samim.
- Good morning.

- Good morning, Kasim.
- Good morning, sweetie.

- I got you a cassette. Here.
- Thanks.

Thank you.

It'll be up and running soon.
I'll get it to work.

I hope so.

- Hang lose.
- Will do.

Zeliha, isn't it "hang loose"?

Some say "loose", some "lose".
"Lose" is right. You should know that.

- So, you're opening a studio, huh?
- We'll see, if we can.

I guess we'll be
the last ever photo studio to open.

Little bro! He's number two.

- So you're number one?
- No, not like that.

One day he said
he was gonna study photography.

I told him not to bother.
Photos aren't something you study.

Photos are something you take.
He didn't listen.

When he graduated I thought
we may as well open a studio.

But I never wanted a studio.

Who goes to studios these days?
Everyone takes photos on their phones.

Don't back out.
We talked about this.

Feeling a photo in your hand
is something else.

- Seeing it on a screen leaves me cold.
- Feeling it is much better.

That's right.

- Go on, take my picture.
- What's that?

You mean you don't know?
Just center it and press the button.

Take it, sonny. Go for it.

Here.

What kind of photo is that?

My five-year-old nephew can do that.
What makes you special?

Five, that's great.

This is it.

Tell my fortune.

That's old-fashioned.
Let's do a reincarnation session.

I'll tell you who you were
in your past life.

I don't care who I was back then.

Tell me about my love life right now.

What a bore.

- Name?
- Zeliha.

Day, month, year?

March 13th.

1988. Anything else?

- That's all I need.
- And I'm a Leo.

- No, you're a Pisces.
- I'm a Leo.

No, a Pisces. Your ascendant is Leo
and your moon sign Scorpio.

I'm not a Pisces.

Pisces are emotional.
What's emotional about me? Dickhead.

What a jerk.

Both your mom and grandma are alive.

Your dad's dead.
He was a lorry driver.

You grew up like a boy.
Mom's menopausal, Gran's not all there.

And there's nobody special
in your life.

There never has been.
You've only had platonic love.

You've loved,
but haven't been loved back.

- You've always been a loser.
- Girl.

He knows everything.
I'm in shock.

- He got some things right.
- He said you were a loser.

- I swear he knows everything.
- Hey, Fatma.

I swear I'll smash your face in.
Button it.

You're a spinster.

Mr. Fortune-teller...

Can we not say that?
Can we say I'm choosy?

No, your cousins are always
talking behind your back.

It's Dürdane, isn't it?
My aunt's girl. My cousin.

She has thyroid issues.
She can't lose weight.

Shut up. What do I care?

Tell me my future, Hadji.
Tell my future.

In a previous life
you were a Bedouin in Egypt.

What's that?

There's a guy you like
in your neighborhood.

He's short, baby-faced.

And in a previous life...

You were an Amazon warrior.

You don't like fortune-telling.

Sorry, I just got that information.
Pardon me.

You.

You write weird songs.
And in a previous life...

- You were a horse.
- I'm not into horses.

Are you doing this on purpose?

Are you trying to annoy me?
I came to have my fortune told.

Do mine.
Do my fortune, not theirs.

There's no telling what you were.

I don't care! I am what I am.

Is that what I asked?

Am I going to fall in love? Huh?
Is someone going to love me?

How do I know? It's kismet.

Look, buddy.

Why did I come here? Huh?

You're a horse, a butterfly.
What do I care?

Tell me about my love life.

I'll poke out your eyes.

- There'll be someone soon.
- Who?

Someone new. You fall in love.
Then marriage.

Who? Who?

I see the letters C, M, L.

C, M, L.

- Like, Selim?
- C, M, L.

- Davut?
- C, M, L, I said.

- When will I fall in love?
- In 10 days, two weeks.

- There was a fly.
- I know, that information came.

Boys, here's your shop.

Clean it up, and start snapping.

Is there a dark room somewhere?

No, absolutely not.

The whole place gets light.
It's clean and airy.

- We're talking past each other.
- Now, the handsome one is Cemil...

And the ugly one Cemal.
You're older, right?

Yes, I'm older.
I wish you hadn't said "ugly".

Why do you have an accent,
but he doesn't?

Cemil's a city boy. He did
high school and university here.

- I stayed back in Sirince.
- Sirince? Never heard of it.

What? You know, where everyone ran
when the world was gonna end.

- Well? It didn't end.
- But it could have.

We grow grapes there.

Grapes? What kind?
Black or white?

Green. But like this, huge.

Oof, the big ones are something
and the round ones something else.

Especially the big hard ones.

But our real specialty is peaches.
Freestone and juicy.

Bro, stop fanning the flames.
What are you doing?

Oof, oof!

- Real juicy peaches, huh?
- You bet.

Like honey.

Some like them fuzzy,
others like them smooth.

I like both kinds.

- The guy sure loves fruit.
- Yeah, right.

Boys, come in and have a look.

This is it.
This is just the place.

Stick a mattress in here,
just in case.

No, I don't take naps.

Napping at your age?

To make love.

- We don't intend to do that.
- Ha, intentions are important.

- Take me, I'm always on for it.
- On for what?

I'm talking women. White-skinned ones,
they're something else. Like grapes.

Is this it?
Where's the kitchen and stuff?

There's no kitchen.
But I have a countertop at home.

It's as big as this shop.

Really? What do you do
with a counter that size?

I beat meat.

- Can it take it?
- Sure. If not, I make up for it.

Bro, let's think about it.

Don't decide
until you see the bathroom.

Let me show you.

Let's not decide
until we've seen it.

Look.

Wow, look at that.

Great, isn't it? Look.

You go through here, and up here.
You sit here.

You do it like a king.

We'll take it! It's taken.

Yeah, "taken" is right.

Who's C, M, L?
If it's Hasan, there's no "C."

- Fortune-telling's a sin.
- You're done in?

It's a sin, a sin.

Fortune-telling is like a funeral.
You shoulder the casket...

Shut up. You're such a downer.

- Why are we friends with him?
- He doesn't have any others.

Now I feel bad.

Zeliha!

Hey!

- Look, look.
- What?

OK, it's nice,
but black would be better.

I'm talking about the license plate.

34 C, M, L...
Ah, the love of my life.

I'm going to fall in love
on the spot.

Oh my God.

It's an old man.

- What's your name, old man?
- Sitki.

- Sitki?
- Yes.

Go on, get going.

Go! He's munching on a burger.
Get going.

The rat.

- Good luck to us, Cemil.
- It's all done, Cemil.

It's for my brother's sake.

Otherwise why open a shop
that'll go bust in two days?

You know best, bro.

Mom said to open a shop for you.

She wanted you to have
a roof over your head.

But if you don't want it,
let's go to Sirince.

OK, whatever.

But what's with the landlord
taking three months in advance?

What could the guy do?
He needs cash.

- They're all a bunch of crooks.
- Did you know I'm the landlord?

What?

The guy pranked us.

- Why are you telling us now?
- So I get the commission.

If you want commission
we're not renting the shop.

You signed. There's a contract.

What a relief.

- The place was empty for two years.
- Hang on.

Didn't you say someone moved out
last week?

Who said that? Me?

Unbelievable!

I know what we should do.

We'll both sleep here
so you can screw us again. Huh?

- What?
- Never mind.

He's just kidding.

Let's go to the bank.
What kind of talk is that? Watch it.

Come with me a second.

I have to stop somewhere real quick.

Efshopshia, Efshopshia.

Efpraxia. That's my name.

OK, what did I say?
Didn't I say, Efshopshia?

- What happened to my money?
- The rent's only a week late.

If it's late again
I'll have to evict you. Babe.

What are you talking about?
Where would I go?

I could tear down this building
and put up a condo.

- What?
- A condo.

That has a nice ring to it.

Deliha! Crazy girl!

My name's Zeliha, not Deliha.

Is he trying to evict you too,
Efkoptia?

- He says he'll evict me.
- What's that supposed to mean?

Who do you think you're evicting?

She's been here forever.
Nobody can kick her out.

Why are you talking like her?

You'll evict this woman
over my dead body.

Do you understand?

Half the neighborhood is mine.
So is your flat actually.

I'll evict you all one by one
if I want.

You won't evict shit.

You'll all end up moving
whether you like it or not.

Hey!

I didn't get to bite him!

Don't let her out without a leash.
She'll bite a child.

- Let me go. Let me get a bite.
- Whoa!

You rat.

I hope they drag you to the mountains
and screw the ass off you.

I hope everyone
has their way with you.

- Who's that girl, Faik?
- The neighborhood nutcase.

But I fancy her mother.

She sure is sassy.
Girls like her are rare these days.

- What?
- I hope horses have a go, too.

Remember the bank, before it closes.

What do you mean, horses? Huh?

I said the wrong curse.
Let me go.

You dog. Dog!

Rat! Let me go.

Zeliha. Look, he's gone.

Calm down. He's gone. Sit down.

Calm down.

Hey! What's going on?

- Mind your business, babyface.
- Faik, Zeliha, from her home...

There's a fake Zeliha at home?
What are you talking about?

Faik's evicting Zeliha's family.

- Ah. Well, so be it.
- I'll punch you in the nose.

Serves you right.
Why did you scald me?

I'm still burning in places.

I'd rather be cousins
with an animal than you. Pussy!

Man up and protect your cousin.

Watch your mouth.

Tayyar, make an ugly face!

I told you, don't do that.

I'm still mad as hell.
I'm going to bust up that realtor's.

Ugh! What's going on?

Whoa!

Whoa.

Who are you? Do you work here?

We're renting the shop
from Faik.

Which shop?

The one in the square.
Foto Neco.

- Foto Neco.
- Yeah.

Ah.

I got pissed off.

I came to wreck the shop.
You know...

I was gonna head-butt everything.
Maybe smash a desk with my elbow.

Or maybe a flying kick.

But you're new here.

And, whoa...

You're pretty good-looking.

Out of respect for you,
I'll wreck the joint another time.

I see.

- What's your name?
- Cemil.

OK Cemil, see you.

- What was your name again?
- Cemil.

C, M, L.

So?

- Meeting you pleased me.
- What was that?

Want to dance the "halay" tomorrow?
You, me, the three of us?

- What "halay"?
- Uncle Kadir's getting married.

Who's Uncle Kadir?
I can't keep up.

Don't you like the "halay"?
I like leading the "halay".

Huh?

I've got some foot on the stove.
Don't want it boiling over.

See you ladder.

Good grief.

Zeliha?

- Selam aleykum.
- Aleykum selam.

- Where did Faik go?
- To the bank for a short visit.

- Who's short? You calling me short?
- I mean he won't be long.

So you're long and I'm short.
Is that what you're saying?

Faik's just down the street.
He'll be back shorty.

I mean, shortly.
You're messing with my head.

Shorty, huh?

Well, camels are tall too!

Camels are tall too.

OK.

No problem. Whatever you say.

What kind of neighborhood is this?

I had a dream last night.
I hope it bodes well.

There was a herd of horses running.

But then I saw their hooves
were wrapped in cloth.

I thought,
how can they run like that?

It means your luck's dried up.

Shh.

Then the horses see me,
and start galloping toward me.

I'm just asking myself
if they're really running toward me...

When I see Zeliha on a horse.

I start running away
and then wake up.

- I hope it bodes well.
- I hope so.

I can't figure that out.
It sure is a strange dream.

God forbid, could it mean
Zeliha is gonna go astray?

Songül, you always put
a bad spin on things.

I've half a mind to get up
and chuck this slipper at you.

Sweetie.

Now that takes the cake.

Your husband's right to go off you.

Who said he went off me?

He turns his back on you in bed.
That's what you told Aysel.

Aysel!

What? When did I say that?

Aysel, you called last week
and said Songül's not getting any.

- Didn't you say the poor man's right?
- She did. She did.

I have a witness.

I'm in love.

Honeybun, I'm in love.

Mom! I'm in love.

Auntie, I'm in love.

Auntie Makbule, get him for me.

Hen party, engagement, wedding.
Fix them all right away.

Decide what you're wearing
at the wedding. I'm in love.

The bride arrived on horseback.

We need to talk.

I can't look you in the eye.

But...

I have to say it.

Baby...

I fell in love with somebody else.

Just listen. Don't say anything.

We went to a fortune-teller.
He said I'd fall in love...

With someone whose name has C, M, L.

Cemil.

What did I say
the day I put you up?

I told you not to trust me.

You should have got me
while you had the chance.

You'll be happy too.

You'll fall in love
with someone else.

Anyway, our relationship
Has worn you out too.

You're torn at the edges.

And Gran gets embarrassed
when you watch her do her prayers.

We always cover your face.

It'll be easier if you don't look.
In the name of God...

You only have one eye left.

Goodbye, Kenan.

Welcome, Cemil.

Good morning.

Good morning, honeybun.

I'm so happy.

Havva. Havva.

Havva.

What happened, Zeliha?

Be downstairs in three minutes.

Hey!

Who broke this window?

Me.

People go all funny
when they fall in love.

What happened?

People go all funny
when they fall in love.

You have no shame!

- So you want plain white.
- That's right, plain and white.

Shall I paint a few roses?
They'd look great.

No thanks. No need for a design.

How about some tiny wildflowers?

- That would be amazing.
- Just plain...

Why are you against it?
Let the guy do tiny tiny flowers.

If this were a granny house
not a studio, OK.

How about some pink cameras?
It would be meaningful.

You don't get it.
Let me explain again.

You're to paint the wall
all one color, OK?

I never want this shop.
Don't make it worse.

- Sure you don't want flowers?
- Yes. No flowers.

Just paint the wall white.
That's all.

- Birds?
- Birds?

Ugh...

Still the goddamn birds and bees...

- Who does he think he is?
- He only thinks of himself.

Oh my goodness.

- Something's happened.
- What?

- Something's happened to you.
- No. What could happen?

Why did you run off yesterday?

I didn't. Why would I do that?

You were talking to some guy,
then you ran off.

Cemil?

No. No, it's nothing.

Mom called me.
There's a guy she likes.

She texted him.
But he didn't reply.

She said we should blow
on the phone together.

Don't lie, Zeliha.
Tell me the truth.

You like that guy, don't you?
Was his name Cemil?

Cemil?

Cemil.

C, M, L.

- Oh my God, is that Cemil?
- Who's Cemil?

She's walking away.

- That auntie?
- Is she an auntie?

- Yes, she is.
- Doesn't she look just like Cemil?

Why did you call me here?

To get some air.

C'mon, I know a great place
for some air.

- What are we doing here?
- Nothing. Getting some air.

Why do we keep looking over there?

I'm not looking anywhere.

That's it. Enough.
Just plain white.

Cemil's having the place painted.

- Ha. That guy. He's renting the shop.
- So they say.

- Let's go wish them luck.
- No.

Let him come to us.

Listen.

If I reach that leaf, Cemil says "hi".
But as a friend.

OK?

I can't reach it.

What are you looking at?

What's she doing?

You see that girl?
She's so spunky.

- The dark one jumping up and down?
- Yes.

She's crazy.

Well, I fancy her.

- Is he looking over here?
- No.

- I think he is, but you won't say.
- Zeliha, why wouldn't I?

- He's looking.
- Swear on it.

How many times did he look?
Was it three, five?

Was it a look of love?

Did his look say "come"
or did it say "go"?

Tell me!

OK, you're getting carried away.

I'll go in the shop and wish him luck.
What's the big deal?

Good grief.

The barn door's open.

I meant the shop door.

Where'd you find the shop?

Which shop?

Have you ever been married?

- What am I saying?
- What's she saying?

I don't know,
but she's a straightforward girl.

I'm Zeliha.
We met at the realtor's.

- I remember.
- We met too.

You know, there was that fight
at the Greek lady's house.

- Are you settling in?
- The wall.

It's a good neighborhood.
Everyone likes each other.

There are some I don't like.

Our women are menopausal.

They've got big bums
from all the carbohydrates.

The men are hen-pecked.

My mom sweats a lot.

That's from the menopause.

My love life sucks.

I've never had a boyfriend.

Kenan and I split up last night.
We'll talk about that later.

- Yeah, but the wall. Your hand...
- It's nice and smooth.

It's wet. It was just painted.

Huh?

Oh my God!

I thought it was just damp.

There goes your face too.

It doesn't matter.

I look good in white.

They say it suits me.

Like a wedding dress maybe.

Huh?

I'd even look good in a shroud.

What is this?
Do you have no respect for art?

- Shh, OK.
- What are you yelling about?

Did anything happen?

- You ruined the wall.
- Normally...

I'd knock this guy to the ground
and step on his face.

But you've just arrived,
so that would be shameful.

One day I'll come...

And walk all over him.

- Why is your face all white?
- My blood pressure dropped.

No, it really is white.

- I'm all white.
- Why are you pouting?

Am I pouting?

I am. I guess I'm upset.

I'll go get Fatma.
We can meet in the park, OK?

We have one eye on the earth

We have one eye on the earth

- You're not allowed to play here.
- Why?

- You're depressing the public.
- I'm not budging an inch.

What? Zeliha?

OK, I'm coming.

Step on it, guys.

- She fell for this guy.
- Which guy?

The new guy, Cemil or whoever.
She won't admit it.

Love is like frog's legs.
All wet and floppy.

Fevzi, quiet.

Fatma, she got so excited
she got paint all over herself.

Is he interested in her?

What do you think?

The fortune-teller said C, M, L.

That's "Cemil".

Fevzi, give me a push.

- Zeliha.
- What?

- Are you OK?
- I'm fine.

Is there anything
you'd like to share?

No.

- I have a question.
- Don't ask, she won't answer.

Zeliha.

Did you fall for that boy?

Zeliha.

Are you OK, Zeliha?

I'm fine.

Yes, I'm interested in Cemil.
I might be in love.

- How could it happen so quick?
- He's my destiny.

My fate. I understand these things.
What's more...

He's dark and I'm fair.
We're the perfect match.

Oof!

And I think he loves me.

When our eyes meet...

The seas move, the mountains dry up.
Even my mouth dries up.

But no boy's ever loved you before.

I hope five men drag you off
to the mountains.

God help us. God preserve us.

Five.

Not four, five.

Hold on, Red Scarf.

If I stop, I'll never get away.

- Spare a little milk, will you?
- As if the baby will nurse. Crazy boy.

Eat. Hey!

Eat, girl.

I don't want any, Gran.

- Eat.
- No, Mom.

I've gone off food.
Love does that.

Don't try to kill yourself this time.

No way.
This time he loves me back.

Who is he?

Cemil.

They took over Foto Neco's.
We're making eyes at each other.

Does making eyes do it?

- It's so hot.
- That's the menopause.

Is the rice good?

- Huh? Is it buttery?
- Yes, it's buttery.

I'll have a little then.

Fig tree in front of the hospital

The doctor has no cure for me

My mom is the cure

I'm a man, a real man.

Understand?

Tayyar, are you OK?

- Hey, who's that?
- It's me, Havva.

Oh, pretty girl.

I've never seen you at night.

- Good night then.
- Hang on, don't go.

Let me get a look at you.

You're getting prettier as you go.

As I go? Well then I'll go.

Don't go. Come here.
Let me give you a kiss.

Goodbye.

Fig tree in front of the hospital

I saw everything, Havva.

What did you see?

You're hot for my cousin.
You came together right there.

No we didn't. Don't make things up.
He just kissed me on the cheek.

He's an idiot.
Stay away from him.

He's blood so I know him well, Havva.

Hey, I want to ask something.

Was it a wet kiss, or a dry one?

Did he soil you, Havva?

It's time we had our opening, Cemil.

What opening?

Are we going to have an opening?
What will we say?

'We're the latest dopes to move in.
Come see for yourselves.'

Stop that. We'll say
there's a photography graduate here.

We'll say we brought art to the hood.
Shall we hire a violinist?

Wouldn't want to leave that out.

And maybe she'll come.

Who?

- Garlic, garlic!
- Garlic.

Cures all ills! Garlic, garlic!

- Hello.
- What can I do for you?

- Is your microphone free?
- What are you selling?

- I want to make an announcement.
- Are you going to propose?

- No, speak to the neighborhood.
- Fine, jump in.

- Talk like this, OK?
- I know, I saw it in the movies.

Thanks. I hope the police
never give you trouble.

Amen.

Dear residents.

We're opening Foto Neco today.

We hope to see you
on this special day.

Would you like to see us too?

I can almost hear you say yes.

A fresh take on photos: Foto Neco.
Foto Neco, now serving you.

What did he say?

He said today is the best day
to live love to the hilt.

- What was that?
- We're living love to the hilt today.

Ahhh. Pervert.

Dig in and enjoy.

Stick her between bread
and eat her up.

FREE PHOTO FOR OPENING DAY

- Is that the violinist?
- What does it look like?

He's playing gypsy tunes.
We need some classics.

Why do you always find fault?
Let's ask him. He'll do it.

Can you play something more classic
to suit an opening?

Certainly.
"I Miss You" by Selami Sahin.

- Really? Go ahead.
- Great.

What's this?

- Take it easy, Kasim.
- Thanks.

- What are you looking at?
- Just taking in the view.

Oh no.

Best of luck.

Best of luck.

- Our lips almost touched.
- Uh-huh.

This is Fevzi. He's a deadbeat.
Shake hands, Fevzi.

- Hello.
- Hello.

- This is Fatma, our spinster.
- No, my dear.

I can't really say that.

A fireman asked for my hand
just last month. I refused him.

He'd been married twice already.
Am I to take care of an old man?

- Deal with his prostate problems?
- You're right. You should be in love.

- Uh-huh.
- This is Havva. She's dumb, but nice.

That's Cemil.
You already know him.

Cemil's great.

He's so handsome.

- Cemal.
- Yes.

What a beautiful cat.

He's so handsome, Havva.

I mean, real handsome.

So young and strong.

And those dark eyes.

His eyes make you go
all funny inside.

You feel like stroking his hair...

On a sheepskin in front of a fire...

- Naked, for hours...
- Cemil.

- I'm having my photo taken.
- Go right in.

- Zeliha, you really hit on him.
- No, I didn't.

Play it cool and slap him down.

Guys don't like girls
who are too forward.

Slap him down, huh?

Smile, he's taking our photo.

- Missy Sisi.
- She's not up for it today.

She normally smiles.

If you're done, I'm ready.

- C'mon!
- Well, anyway.

- Are you having your photo taken?
- Yeah. Isn't that your job, mutt?

- Pop that flash.
- OK, turn to the right.

Don't order me around.
Who are you, dickhead?

But you're being shameful.

Shameful, up yours blameful.

Take it!

- Take one like this, idiot.
- Don't talk to me like that.

What's wrong?
Hurt your feelings? Oaf!

For goodness sake.

Everyone's here. Nobody told me.

Best of luck. What are you doing?
Handing round lemonade?

There we go.

- Tayyar.
- What are you up to, duckie?

- Last night was nice.
- You want some ice?

Last night,
when you kissed my cheek.

Oh? I kissed you?

I'm something else.
Hey, listen up.

I cornered her last night.

I don't remember a thing.

Watch out, I'll plant a kiss
on you.

- I'll never forgive you.
- What? What was that?

I'll never forgive you.

Havva, stop kidding around.
Forgive me.

I won't forgive you.

Havva.

You rat.

Oh my God!

- Dirty rat.
- What's going on?

Hey.

I'm supposed to slap him down.
What are you doing?

- I think I hurt his feelings.
- You didn't spoil him, did you?

- I called him a mutt.
- A mutt? Whoa!

- Whoa!
- He deserved it. The dirty dog.

And all his filthy language.

Did someone put cologne
in her lemonade?

- Hey, Havva. Is he looking?
- No.

Stop looking at Tayyar.
He'll never marry you.

He's a womanizing scumbag.
Keep your eye on Cemil.

I'm going up to him
the second I get an inviting look.

What are you looking at?

- He told me to come.
- No, he didn't.

I saw him say, "Come, come."

OK. Thanks. See you.

What are you doing?

- I splat at you.
- You did what?

I splat.

- Come on, baby, let's make up.
- Did we fall out?

I made you mad.

Hey, my dark-eyed, honey-lipped baby.
Come here, cutie.

What are you saying, sonny?
Leave me alone.

Sonny?

Zeliha.

Spin it. Spin it round.

Keep spinning.

- He called me, sonny.
- What's the big deal?

Shut up and spin it.

He doesn't want me.

- He called me "sonny" like the others.
- The dirty rat.

Nobody will love me.
I'll die all alone.

Not this time, Zeliha.

We're here. Who's he anyway?

Who do these guys think they are?

We'll do battle if we have to.

Huh?

- We're meeting in the park tomorrow.
- What for?

- The Zeliha Movement!
- Whoa.

We're starting, Zeliha.

If Cemil doesn't fall in love with you,
my name's not Havva.

She's finally speaking up.
Is she possessed?

- We see it on the news.
- Shut up and listen.

Plan 1: Go everywhere Cemil does.
Act like it's a coincidence.

- Like, 'Oh, are you here too?'
- OK.

- What's up, Cemil?
- Fine.

I'm just here to work up a sweat.

Have a good one.

Thanks.

How's it going, Cemil?

We go to the same barber.
See that? What a coincidence.

Cavit, I want to get my eyebrows done.

Kick it.

Hello.

- How's it going, Cemil?
- Fine.

C'mon, right down the middle.

That's it. C'mon.

Whoa! Whoa!

Goal!

Good on you!

Didn't I tell you to go...

To places where men and women go?

What do I know?

I was so busy watching the match
I forgot all about him.

You should go to the cinema.

Have some popcorn.

Go on. It's good.

What are you doing?

BABY PEAS

Oh my God!

It didn't do any good.

But you got him to notice you.

Now surprise him
and grab his attention.

- Do something totally unexpected.
- Totally unexpected, huh?

C, E!

Hello.

He's scared!

I failed. It's not working.

Jealousy.

Act like you're jealous.

Great. Smile.

Cemil.

Yes.

Who's that?

Her? I don't know.

I don't want you seeing other women.
What's going on between you?

Hey, look. What's with coming here
to pose and smile at guys?

- What's wrong?
- Stop playing dumb.

You're making eyes at him.
You think I don't notice?

I know your type.

Sexy-talking man hunter.
Just what are you after?

What are you talking about?
Get out.

Get out.

Aysel.

Your girl's going out
with that photographer, I hear.

They meet secretly at night.

Listen. He used to be a draper.

Then he went bankrupt.

No.

He had a kebab shop in Adana.
I heard his wraps were great.

He's gonna keep Zeliha
shut up at home.

And he hit her because he wants
three sons from her.

Where do you hear all this?

She just said she liked him,
that's all.

She let everyone feel her up
when she was young.

Mom, what are you saying!

The vendor said
the wedding will be in Adapazari.

Aysel said she was from Adapazari
and insisted Zeliha get married there.

Ayten! I'm Aysel, aren't I?

Am I from Adapazari?

That's what the vendor said.

Let's go ask the boy himself.

What is this?
Everyone's turned into a gossip.

I hate this sort of thing.
Get up. Get up and go.

Get up. Get up.

- Where are you from, my boy?
- Sirince.

- So your dad just got out of jail?
- Jail? No.

- You're single?
- Yes.

- How single are you?
- What?

- Are you seeing anyone?
- From the neighborhood?

Don't play with hearts.
Put a ring on it right away, OK?

Get married first.

We were young once.

I'm not saying don't do anything.
But be clear. Family is important.

- Of course it is.
- C'mon, take our photo.

Get close to his family.

Get along with them.

- His family's not here.
- His brother is.

- Ha, his brother.
- What was his name?

How do I know?

You don't know! Spend time with him.
Get him to like you.

The time will never pass
with that loser.

Wow!

This is Taksim Square, huh?

Yeah.

I'm glad you asked me, Zeliha.
I wouldn't have had fun alone.

Look at the birds.

How do you come up with
those things you say?

Wait, you've got something
in your hair.

- Zeliha, I had so much fun.
- I had fun too.

Wasn't it great when those birds
flew over us?

- I was scared they'd poop on us.
- You've picked up my accent.

- I live up there.
- OK then.

OK.

- Do you really like taking photos?
- I love it.

Especially when...

- There's a beautiful subject.
- Ha.

Zeliha!

My friends are here.

Thanks.

Say hi to Cemil for me.

Tell him what we did.

- He's your brother, he should know.
- Of course. Good night.

- What were you doing in there?
- Waiting for you. How was it?

- How was what?
- How was it with Cemil's brother?

What did you do?

We had fun.

- You're grinning ear to ear.
- Really.

No.

I had fun.
He's the big brother after all.

- He was giving you such a look.
- He sure was.

He's my law-brother.

My in-law.

My brother-in-law, right?
What's it called?

What do they call
the husband's brother?

Whoa!

Don't sneak up on me.

- Something silly happened.
- What?

You know Velev Bar in Beyoglu?
The place with live music.

How would we know?

I used to go there.
They have live music.

I'm singing there tomorrow night.
The owner said he'd try me.

That's great. Be happy.
It's what you always wanted.

- I don't find it right to be happy.
- Let's go. Why not?

Zeliha, ask Cemil and his brother.
This is your chance.

God help us all. Now scatter.

Let's scatter.

- How's it going?
- Good. Welcome.

He's singing at Velev Bar tonight.
Come support him.

- You don't really need to...
- Sure I will.

I'd love to support you.
I'll bring Cemil.

- Be sure to come. We'll have fun.
- Oh, I'm sure we'll have fun.

What are you doing?

Working on photoshop.
Cemil didn't want to do it.

Huh.

You should have the bride kneel
and stick the groom on her back.

I think it would be
a lot cuter that way.

You know what? I'll do that.
We have incredibly similar tastes.

OK, makeup.
I need a very natural look.

Eye shadow.

I never used it before.

Whoa.

Whoa. I wish I had.

Blusher. I reckon two strokes...

Will do it.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa! I'm so beautiful.

I'm seriously good. Cemil.

Hello.
I've never kissed anyone before.

But I'd kiss you.

Girl.

What are you doing?
Kissing the mirror?

Ha. No.

Gran fancied this guy.
The guy tried to kiss her.

Gran wouldn't let him.

The guy was miffed at her.
Gran left him.

What?

Gran wouldn't let him kiss her.

They broke up.
Gran's crying in there.

It's over between them.
Gran thought it was too soon to kiss.

You go let him kiss you.

- What are you doing, Fatma?
- Zeliha.

They danced the "horon"
at my friend's wedding.

I was too heavy to dance it then.

It stayed with me.

But now I'm slimmer
I thought I'd get on down.

C'mon, let's go.

Move!

Yes?

- We want to go in.
- Did you book?

- No.
- It's not your kind of place.

But we have to get in.

C'mon, move along.
Stop giving me grief.

Idris?

- Look, it's Idris, isn't it?
- Who's Idris?

You're Sevcan's son, aren't you?

Ah, look at you!

You got all grown up
and now you wait at doors?

Good for you. Work.
Earn a living.

Say a big hello to your mom.

Bye!

I'm not Idris.

It's a fun place here.
Very friendly.

Nice one, Fato.
How do you know the guy?

I don't. I just pretended.

But there's an Idris I do know.

I can't stand his mom.

She'd come to our tea parties,
stuff a napkin with goodies...

And leave.

One time she nicked a towel.
And she says...

She only took it
because her boy had a stye.

Imagine! With styes,
they say you should steal copper.

She made it an excuse for the towel.
Rude cow.

I didn't hear a word.

Zeliha, I'm telling you...

This place scares me.
Why are we here?

For your friends, Havva.
For me. For Fevzi's future.

What's up? You're cowering.

What happened
to the warrior woman?

Tayyar slapped you,
let me remind you.

You reminded me and it's true.

Fevzi.

Hi.

Fevzi. Can I have a beer?

I'd kill for a cold one.

Go for it, Fato.
Let's hang loose today.

- What can I get you?
- A beer.

One beer.

- Apple juice for me, hadji.
- One apple juice.

- And me, I'll get a small tea.
- One tea.

Fevzi, you can go on stage now.

One beer, one tea,
one water, apple juice.

Whisky and coke, two beers,
one raki.

- C'mon, get to it.
- Say it slowly, dammit!

Whisky and apple juice?
Who's drinking that?

Death is blowing in my face

- Whoa! The old boy likes me.
- My death shroud is in tatters

Whoa! That's sour apple juice.
Nice, though. I feel warm inside.

I scratched your name in my coffin

- What the hell are we doing here?
- C'mon, it's a friend's gig.

- C'mon, die with me
- The crazy girl's here.

Don't be so rude. Hi there!

Has he been on a long time?

C'mon, die with me

- You can see better from here, huh?
- Sure.

Whoa!

I felt your leg. It was warm as toast.
Is love hard work?

Zeliha.

I say you should sing.

He'd be so impressed.

You think so?

I scratched your name in my coffin

- Let's swap places.
- You're the best brother.

Fevzi, start the intro.
'Always Later'.

I suddenly felt like singing a song.

For the person I love.

He knows who he is.

You aren't Layla, I'm not Majnun
You aren't tired, nor am I

We felt blue one night, we got drunk
That's all

You aren't Layla, I'm not Majnun
- Hey, I'm out of here.

You aren't tired, nor am I
We felt blue one night, we got drunk

That's all

I always come to my senses later
Always later

I always come to my senses later
Always later

Awesome, baby. You're terrific.

I always come to my senses later

- Is he bothering her?
- Always later

You're fantastic, baby!

- Bravo, baby! Bravo!
- But you're harassing the lady.

Wait, you're harassing the lady.

- Screw you! The bitch is mine.
- Watch your mouth.

Oh my God, a fight.

Oh my God, a fight!

- What are you doing? Break it up.
- Get off me! I'll kill you!

Zeliha.

Hold it to his eyebrow,
not his mouth.

I am, Havva.

Shame they beat him up so bad.

You have a beautiful voice, Zeliha.

Why did you get into a fight?

- I was worried about you.
- I'm tough. I can fend for myself.

But no.

You don't have to when you're with me.
I'll protect you.

Why?

You're a nice guy too actually.

You have a big heart.

I could say you're a man
to fall in love with.

No man has ever loved me before,
you know?

But I think I'll be loved soon.

I agree.

- I like you a lot.
- Me too.

Hey, soup man. Is your soup hot?

Baby face is here.

- Deliha and her stable mates.
- It's you who needs the stable.

Hey, Havva.

Suppose you forgive me
for the soup man's sake...

So I get a good night's sleep?

- I don't.
- And even if she did, I don't.

Here, watch this. Hey, Tayyar.

Make an ugly face.

Hey, don't! I told you.
Don't do that.

What do you smell of?

Zeliha. You're now eating garlic
rather than soup.

Oh my God!

Whoa!

But you know what?

It tasted tangy.

It wasn't that bad.

Oh my God.

I feel like
something's happening to me.

What do you feel like?

Havva, I have the five of cups.
What do you have?

Then let this song be for all of us.

What was your name? Your name...

Her blood pressure's down.

Get up, girl.
What's with the sleeping in?

- What's up?
- Faik. He sent an arrears notice.

He wants to kick us out.
Let him try.

Wait. Don't go alone.
I'm coming too. He'll kidnap you.

What's that smell?

Garlic.

- Look, Faik!
- Go ahead, petal.

Are you seriously evicting us?

Let's not discuss it
with this crazy here, huh?

- We give you rent.
- You don't give me what I want, petal.

- You've no right to evict us.
- It's my house, you know?

But don't worry.
I'll kick out Efshopshia first.

Then it'll be your turn. Relax.

Aysel.

Have I ever told you
about my widow fantasy?

Rude idiot!

Hey! Listen here.

You know my real estate agent fantasy?

OK, I'll tell you.

You're kidnapped by three guys
built like stallions.

They find a big tree up a hill.

They tie you up face down.

You look up at them
with pleading eyes...

But there's no mercy with them.
They pull down your pants.

- Out of here, girl!
- Then as you're wailing...

- I'll do it with demos next time.
- C'mon, move!

- Pumper!
- OK, go!

Yes. Be here by tomorrow, Mom.
We're asking for the girl's hand.

What?

I'm in love, Mom.

I'm gonna get married.

Yes, she's pretty.

I don't know her shoe size, Mom.
Just hurry here tomorrow, OK?

Bye. Kisses.

What's going on?

Tomorrow night
we're asking for Zeliha's hand for me.

- Who? That crazy girl?
- Don't say that.

She's so sweet. So feisty.
I love her to bits.

Are you sure?
She doesn't seem that keen on you.

Not to you she doesn't.

How did she start her song
last night?

She looked at me and said,
'He knows who he is.' I do.

- OK, if you're sure.
- Sure I am.

We'll be so happy. Leave it to me.
Let's just get tomorrow over with.

- Let's hope for the best.
- Totally.

You go on home.
And shut the door.

Who do you think you are?

Who are you to kick us out?
Dickhead!

Scumbag!

Oof! It's one thing after another.

- What's up, Zeliha?
- Faik's kicking us out.

Cemil isn't interested in me.
I look like an idiot.

Whoa! I guess I'll become a wino.
The game's over.

Now that's what I like.

Hi. How are you, Zeliha?

What happened to your face?

- I got in a fight yesterday, right?
- I remember nothing.

Umm, I was gonna say.

We want to come by tomorrow night
in a good cause. As a family.

Should we come?

- Who to?
- You.

- In a good cause?
- Yes.

- As a family?
- I thought so, yes.

- What kind of time?
- Around 8.00, I'd say.

Around 8.00. OK.

Whoa. He sent a message
with his big brother.

I hope...

I hope this isn't what I think...

- And that Cemil's brother fancies her.
- Shh, girl!

How about a spin by the water?

- Kasim, is the car working?
- That young fella fixed it.

- Which young fella?
- At the photo studio.

The nicest, most handsome man
in the world.

He's coming to ask for my hand
tomorrow night. Whoa.

- How are you? Are you well?
- Fine. And you?

Fine, thanks.

- How are you?
- Fine, thanks. You?

Yes, we're fine, thanks.

- How are you, son?
- Fine, thanks. You?

I'm fine. Fine.

- And you, son?
- I'm fine, thanks very much. You?

- Me too, I'm fine.
- Wonderful.

- And you're well?
- Yes, thanks.

- Very well. You?
- Everyone's fine.

Once the act of mating has finished
between a pair of rhino...

The male sinks onto the ground.

Copulation is rarely seen
at the present time...

And leaves both rhino exhausted.

Gran always watches
documentaries like that.

Huh?

What's that, Mom?

Zeliha, why don't you make us coffee?

Ha, sure.

God, I'm so happy.

Havva, I'm so happy.

You're the cutest.

See? You'll finally marry
the man you want.

Zeliha, I want to say something.

- You think Cemil's brother...
- Havva, wait.

If I can keep my hand in the flame
for five seconds, I'll marry Cemil.

Not that it's in any doubt.

One, two, three...

Whoa.

I couldn't do it.

Why was that?

Tayyar, go away!

Tayyar, go away.

Shut up! I'm not here for you.

- Havva.
- Go away, Tayyar.

- Havva, forgive me.
- Don't, Havva!

If you do,
I'll never forgive you.

Hey, Fato. Fato.

Do I put salt in Cemil's coffee
or pepper?

They asked for my hand three times.
I did salt all three.

Ha, I'll go for pepper then.

- Has someone you know died lately?
- No.

You have a dead person's energy.

No, really?

Well, we've come here in a big rush,
but our boy insisted.

Let's hope for the best then.

Except these things
shouldn't really be rushed.

Well, the kids have
taken a shine to each other.

- Our Zeliha is a great girl.
- You can tell.

Screw you if you spill.

Zeliha. What are you doing?

Funny girl.

Thanks, dear.

Thank you.

Husband, I don't want this girl.

She's insane.
Let's get out of here fast.

Absolutely not.
We've come all this way.

The boy loves her.

I love her.

Well, now.

Bless you, Mom. Bless you.

- The kids seem to love each other.
- Ha, we do.

And we've come
to do what falls to us.

By the will of God
and word of the Prophet...

We ask for your daughter, Zeliha's hand
for our Cemal.

Huh? Cemal?

Cemil. It's Cemil.

- No, dear. Cemal.
- No, Cemil.

Girl, the older one's Cemal.
Cemil's younger.

No way. It's Cemil.

I'm confused.
Is Cemil's name Cemal?

OK, but it's Cemil who's into me.

What?

Don't be ridiculous.

Just a second.
I don't understand.

Who do you want Zeliha to marry?

Me.

Zeliha?

I can't help laughing.

There seems to be a misunderstanding.

Just a second.

What would I want with you?
Are you mental?

Get out.

I never saw anything like it!
What rude people.

Her thing was Cemil.

Didn't you say
you two were in love?

I guess I got the wrong idea.

Never mind.
The girl's an idiot. Mental.

Didn't I warn you?
And you fell for it like a sucker.

What's it to you?

What's it to you?
I fell in love. I wanted her, not you.

- Bro.
- Yes, bro.

I'm your big brother.

I love a girl and it's for you
to sound off about her, huh?

You're too trusting,
you're too gullible to know.

Enough, dammit!

All my life
I've loved only one girl.

And it didn't work out.
What can I do?

It's me who's suffering.

Just leave me alone,
it's all I ask.

OK, bro. I'm sorry.

Time for Zeliha to kill herself.

Suppose you don't, honey?

Have I choked?

No.

Out the way!

Zeliha.

Honey.

Zeliha! Zeliha, open the door!

I'm gonna kill...

I'm gonna kill myself.

Is that right?
How can this be happening?

Zeliha, stop scaring us!

Go away! Get away from here!

Leave me alone!

I want to die alone!

I want to die in peace.

Whoa. I'm on the brink of death.

Auntie Aysel, I swear
she'll kill herself this time.

Don't give me 'auntie'!
I'm the same age as you.

OK, it's goodbye.

Whoa! My blood pressure dropped.

I was upside down, Mom.

Help! Save me!

Whoa! I can't die.

I'm hanging myself.

There. I'm dying.

Fevzi! Come fix this!

Make way.

Am I dead?

No.

I'm gonna throw myself out the window.

Out the way!

Wait!

Zeliha, don't!

Is she dead?

I don't think so.

What are you staring at?

Now look.
Who made me better, huh?

I wanted to die.

I'm still gonna try to kill myself.

I can't go on.
I don't want to be alive.

Hello, Makbule?

Have we come round, Zeliha?

I don't know. Have we?

- Huh? Doctor.
- Yes?

If I pay you 50 lira...

Can you stick nitric acid
in that solution?

In your drip?

For a long life, right?

Are you taking the piss?
I asked you a serious question.

I'll break your Hippopratic oath.
Dickhead!

Zeliha. Faik is evicting Efpraxia.
He's sent in the bailiffs.

There are three or four chairs there.
Are they listed?

Sorry. We're taking
that chair too, Efshopshia.

- But this is shameful, Faik.
- Mind your own business.

Throwing an old lady out...

Just hold it,
I'm saying something here.

Isn't it beneath you
to throw an old lady out?

Keep your nose out of things
that aren't your business.

- Go take photos.
- Put that hand down!

What's your problem?
Gonna beat me up?

Ha! Deliha's here.

Who are you kicking out, dickhead?

Watch that mouth.

I have a hangover.
I ache all over.

Don't make me beat you up.

I sealed a great deal last night,
you know?

She's got the keys to the Jeep!

Deliha!

Come here! Deliha!

Shame on you!
C'mon, give me the key, Deliha.

Deliha!

Honey.

Come and get it.

Stop that. What do you want?

- Are you renting the house or not?
- No, dammit! No!

Pull his pants down, guys.

Hey! Hey, stop! Stop! OK, OK.

What's up, Iffet?
Scared, are you?

Deliha, honey. Sweetheart.
Let's talk. Wind down the window.

Samim!

Whoa! Hey!

- OK. I'll rent the house.
- Now, so all the neighborhood hears.

OK, I'll rent the house.

- Louder.
- Efshopshia, the house is yours.

Not Eshopshia, Efkoptia.

Efkoptia, the house is yours.

God! What a happy day!
Havva, do you forgive me?

- No.
- She still says no.

So you tried to kill yourself?

I guess so.
I don't want to be alive.

You want to kill yourself, pedi mou?
And you're so young, dear.

But everyone saw, pedi mo...

Cemil was in love with me.
He was hitting on me, wagging his tail.

And his older brother wanted you.

Yes. Sly dog.

Listen, dear.

- You made a mistake somewhere.
- Where exactly was that?

You may be blind
to someone who truly loves you.

You may not notice.

Maybe his brother
fell in love with you, though.

No. No one loves me.
No one ever has.

Maybe you...

Picked the wrong man.
What do you say?

- I'm thinking.
- Well, think carefully.

What's up? Where are you going?

Does it really matter?

We're going back home.
To Sirince, to a wedding.

Really?

Goodbye then.

Goodbye.

And thanks for everything.

No problem. Have a good trip.

Thanks.

Psst, what's up?

They're going to a wedding in Sirince
and not coming back.

Sevim, what's up?

You know Cemal?
He's getting married.

They're going back to their hometown.

He said he's never coming back.

What's going on?

Cemal's so upset he's going home
for a spur-of-the-moment wedding.

Oh my God!

Havva.

Hey, Havva.

- C'mon, forgive me.
- No.

Tayyar, shut up! I'm thinking.

Zeliha, look what the fella left you.

- What fella?
- The one who fixed my car.

- Cemil.
- No, not Cemil. Cemal.

Cemal?

Open it.
See what he's given you.

Yes. Now I'm curious too.

"This is how I always see you.
As the sweetest girl in the world."

"Good luck. Cemal."

- See? He loves you.
- He does?

Sure he loves you, Zeliha.
Don't you see? Look.

But no man has ever loved me before.

I don't know what it's like.
How can I tell?

Who'd love you, for goodness sake?
Just look at you!

Tayyar.

You know why I get mad at you?

Because you always make fun of me.
You say, 'Just look at you.'

You think I wanted to be like this?

When I was small,
I had to wear your castoffs.

I went around like a boy.

I'd ask for a dress.

Keep laughing at me.

Hey, Zeliha.

Have you ever asked
if I had any problems?

I don't have a dad.
My dad's dead.

I figured if I was like a boy
I could protect Mom and Gran.

Zeliha, I'm sorry.
I never thought of it like that.

Guys always called me "son".
They called me Hadji. Or Rambo.

They called you Mehmet too.

Dammit, I'm such a big mouth.

None of them loved me either.

Whoa.

Have I just lost the one and only man
who ever loved me?

It's that damn fortune-teller's fault.
I turned to the wrong person.

He said the name had C, M and L in it.

Whoa.

Cemal. C, M, L.

Cemal has C, M and L in it too.
My Cemal!

Zeliha!

Junk man!

Oh my God, it's locked.

They went to a wedding.

A wedding?

Cemal was so upset he's gone away
to have a spur-of-the-moment wedding.

A spur-of-the-moment wedding?

- Where?
- In his hometown. Sirince.

- Whoa! So Cemal's getting married.
- C'mon, Zeliha. We can make it.

But how do we get there, Fatma?

C'mon, hop in.

Kasim.

Drive on.

What's up?

Zeliha's run off with Cemal.

They slept together
so now they have to get married.

What?

Aysel, Zeliha's been deflowered.
She's gone off to get married.

Let her go, Mom.
Just open the window.

Open the window. It's so hot.

It's so hot.

It's so hot.

Well, well, well!
Look who's here!

- Remember me?
- No.

Aren't you Nesrin's son, Cemal?

Yes, that's me.

You still don't remember?

No, sorry.

Well I'll be damned.
You used to come to me as a boy...

Say, 'What nice boobs you have, '
then grab a handful and go.

- You still don't remember?
- No.

- When are you getting married?
- I'm not.

There'll be the prettiest girls
coming here tonight.

Take your pick
and I'll fix it for you.

OK.

I tell you what.

You'll be able to go to sleep
on wifey's boob...

And play with it
to your heart's content.

They want photos taken
in the village, bro.

I've been at it all day. You go.

I'm not the photographer.
Do it yourself.

It'll be a diversion. And a gesture
seeing as the groom's our cousin.

OK. Give it here.

If you'll excuse me...

- But I only just found you!
- I have to take photos.

Hey, come here. Sit down.

Aren't you
Nesrin's younger son, Cemil?

- Yes.
- Remember me?

- No.
- C'mon, I'm Hatçe, aren't I?

You'd come and squeeze my boobs
as a boy.

- No, really?
- Still don't remember?

- No.
- Shame on you.

How much further to go, Kasim?

Whoa. Fuck!

I'm telling you, Zeliha.
Swearing is sinful.

What's going on? Havva?

I'm stepping on it, Zeliha.

They came to ask for my hand
three years ago.

Remember Feryal's nephew?

He was wearing a tie.
The ends were all dirty.

I felt sick when I saw him.
I thought, oh my God!

- Havva, forgive me.
- No.

Whoa! If she does, I don't.

If Cemal marries before I arrive,
I swear I'll kill myself. Whoa!

Something's got into you all.

In the name of God...

Something's happened to me.

Oof! Thank God!

Dear Kasim.

Something got into you all
in my dream.

Oof! I swear
you were dressed as a woman.

Hey, I'm talking to you!
Wake up! What's with the sleeping?

Oof. What's going on?

Kasim.

We've blown a tire.

Man! Damn tire!

You...

Out the way!

Whoa!

Well, it was old.

- There's no spare either.
- What do you mean?

But the wedding...
We can't be late.

Whoa! I'm finished.

I'm gonna die unloved.

OK, girl. Just calm down.
I'll handle it. Wait.

Zeliha.

Our Dürdane got a car, you know.
A 2002 model.

And boy, did they show off.

They'd planned a trip back home.
And guess what? The car broke down.

- Fatma.
- Yes, petal?

Shut up!

Over here, c'mon!

- Bravo, Tayyar. Go!
- Good! We'll have lots of room.

Kasim.

- You'll be OK, won't you?
- Sure, dear.

Goodbye.

I'll call my child Kasim,
Kasimcan.

C'mon!

Kasim.

- Selam aleykum.
- Aleykum selam.

Welcome.

Hi, guys.

Göz Göz Göztepe. Göz Göz Göztepe...

C'mon, smile everyone.
It's the happiest day of your lives.

Yes.

Very good. Time to move on
to the concept shots, OK?

Sure, let's do it.

Good grief, bride.
Aren't you keen!

OK, grab Nusret's tie and pull.

That's the best yet.
We've got our concept.

OK, squat, bride. The entire household
is on your shoulders.

Climb on top, Nusret.

Perfect. Now swap places.

Climb on top, bride.

Groom's sister, you're fuming.
Throttle the bride.

Aunt, they're taking your son.
Grab his arm. Don't let go.

- Is this what they do in Istanbul?
- Sure. It's all the rage.

Uncle, you head the family.
Spread your arms; Show your authority.

- Ibrahim, you were out of it.
- Oh no!

You got it! Bravo.
It's like you don't want to see.

Perfect.
How about we do a tower?

Sure, let's do it.

Now, the bride's fleeing
and you're all chasing her.

Don't move. Stay put.
Just move your arms.

Bravo, groom's sister.
Keep up the grimace.

Masterful. Now a new concept:
The bride's dead.

Nusret's in pieces,
the family distraught.

Let's do it.

Die, gorgeous.

Nusret, you go to pieces.

Hanife, what's with the long face?

You're the groom's sister.
You should be happy.

C'mon then.

Aunt, let's see
those crocodile tears. Yes.

Ibrahim, forget me,
but at least have some for the corpse.

OK, please. Take up position.

- Oh no.
- Ha, bravo!

Incredible.

At 19, I was in love with
a tall, handsome boy called Kadir.

For five years I turned down anyone
who asked for my hand.

Wow.

Then they said I was over the hill.

So boys, Kadir wrecked my youth,
my whole life.

You killed my youth, Göztepe!

You killed my youth, Kadir!

- Shame on you!
- Shame on you, Kadir!

In that case,
for Fatma, for love...

Moses moseys to the shrine
I have to grab a swig of wine

I feel blue, blue, blue

One, two, three.

Göztepe. Göztepe.

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la laaa,
Göztepe

Sit down! Police!

Out of the bus.
We're doing a search, friends.

But officer, no one's given us
anything to carry.

That's for me to decide.

- Who are you?
- Hooligans!

C'mon.

Fight all to the end, Göztepe!

Drop it for God's sake.
Get out of the bus. Move.

Get out, guys. C'mon.

Where are they going?

- OK, fine. But what's this peashooter?
- It isn't ours, officer.

- Whose is it?
- No idea.

The women hooligans.

Start the car!

Whoa. They're coming.

I'll rot in jail
before hooking up with my love.

I'm like an unopened parcel.
I'm like a rosebud.

It's a heavy load.
We can't go faster.

- Let's dump the watermelons.
- Yes!

Watch it! Watermelons!

No!

It's such a waste!
Don't! They're food!

True.

- I'm slowing you down.
- Don't be crazy, Fatma.

Forgive me!

Oh my God, she fell off.

Thanks, Fato.

I'll never forget that favor.

She'll be fine. Don't worry.
She'll find a way. Keep going.

What do you think you're doing?

- Idris?
- Yes.

- Aren't you Sevcan's son?
- Yes.

Sevcan was in our tea party group.

Bravo, you're a policeman.
So have you come to rescue me?

Come here! Ah! C'mon!

Ismail, buddy, come over
and let's rescue her.

You guys get off here.

I'll go back to dump this
and check up on Fatma. I'll be back.

- How?
- What do you mean?

We won't make it on this.
You go to the wedding. I'll find you.

Havva! Forgive...

Never mind.

It's OK. Bye.

OK, what do we do?
How do we get there?

All the money went on gas.

We'll ask a car for a ride.

You can't ask like that!

In movies you get sexy women
showing their legs to hitch a ride.

Havva.

- Hi. We're going to Sirince.
- OK. Jump in.

I'm soiled.

I'll never forget this favor, Havva.
C'mon, climb in.

Please God,
don't let him be married.

- As your wife?
- Yes.

With the authority vested in me
by the Mayor of Selçuk...

I pronounce you man and wife.
You may kiss the bride.

Don't kiss her! Stop!

- Who's that girl, Nusret?
- I don't know, sweetie.

Whoa! Who are you?
Where's Cemal?

Who's Cemal, Nusret?

My cousin, sweetie.
He took the pictures, right?

Look, he's there.

OK, you can kiss her.

Cemal.

Welcome.

Why did you come?

I brought you this.

But I made it for you.

Cemal, I didn't realize
you loved me.

- I couldn't see it.
- People see what they want to see.

But the fortune-teller told me.

Otherwise I had a great time with you.

Running after the birds,
in the funfair.

Havva even said I was staring at you
in the soup place.

- Zeliha. Do you love me?
- Huh?

- Do you love me?
- Huh?

I said, do you love me?

- Cemal.
- Huh?

I love you.

What?

I love you. I love you.

- I love you too, crazy girl.
- Don't call me crazy.

Shall we dance?

Let's.

Look who the boy picks
when there are all these pretty girls!

Hey, c'mon, Mom. OK.

- Did we make it?
- Yes, we did.

Fatma, are you OK?

Fine. Couldn't be better.

Fevzi, where are you going?

Excuse me a moment.

Are you the bride's side
or the groom's?

- The groom's. You?
- I fixed the bride with her gold.

I'm a jeweler.
They invited me so I came.

I'm glad I did.

Shall we dance?

Dear God, you're a great God.

C'mon then.

Thank goodness you're here.

Why? Were you worried?

Sure I was.

In that case forgive me, Havva.

It's such a big deal for you.

Look. My gran never got to forgive me
before she died, Havva.

She was sick. I asked her to forgive
anything I'd done to hurt her.

She died before answering.

I've had a lump here ever since.

Whenever someone forgives me,
I forget that lump for a minute.

I can't help it.

OK.

C'mon, Havva. Forgive me.

OK, Tayyar.

Don't say that. C'mon.

Tayyar, I said OK. I do.

Do you really?

My God.

- Zeliha.
- Huh?

I didn't get to propose before.

What?

Will you marry me?

When?

Whenever you like.

Whoa.

For the bride and groom...

And everyone who loves them...

I just want to sing
my aunt's favorite song.

I set fire to the hay
See the smoke blow away

Your mean motherI convinced her

Shake it, shake it, c'mon shake it
Ah, let's see you coyly shake it

Shake it, shake it, c'mon shake it
Shake it, hazel-eyed dearly beloved

I'm pouring a cup of tea
Greet your father for me

If he won'tlet me wed his girl
He'll see tragedy unfurl

Shake it, shake it, c'mon shake it
Ah, let's see you coyly shake it

Shake it, shake it, c'mon shake it
Ah, let's see you coyly shake it