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Elizabeth Murray:
The whole thing is so scatological.
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When you’re painting, it’s like so physical.
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It’s really physical.
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You’re squeezing the paint
out of the tube which is fun.
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You’re mixing up the paint.
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It’s making something happen with a very
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sort of fluid material that is
constantly somewhat out of control,
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harnessing it somehow, harnessing
that energy of the paint.
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I think that’s the primary
thing that painting is about.
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For a couple of years I've been
working with cutting out shapes
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and kind of glomming them together.
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You know, like basically making a zigzag shape
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and making a sort of rectangular shape
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and a circular bloopy fat cloudy shape
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and just putting them all together and sort of
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letting the cards fall where they may.
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I know the shapes are always
referred to as cartoony.
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And they are cartoony and blumpy and rounded
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and inflated and sort of wacky.
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All of these shapes are stuck on
to each other in some kind of way.
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Sort of like a weird fence or a weird lattice.
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Another part of it for me is
to use very intense color.
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With the color and with the shape
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and with the drawing inside of
the shape really it's just simply
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trying to make it work somehow.
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There are so many different
combinations of things.
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It's like being a safe breaker
and you're listening to the -
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those movies where they've got
their ear up against the safe
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and you are listening for the right click
for the right cylinders to like drop down.
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Sometimes it's felt really like that,
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like I'm just like painting
and painting and painting
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until the right thing happens.
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I want there to be conflict
and I want there to be tension.
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And yet somehow I want to make these
very conflicting things live together,
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and not just butt up against each
other but really live together.
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I do drawings inside the book.
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And they’re just kind of like
warm-up to get my mind into it.
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You know like to give myself
some, some place to start from,
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that’s really all they are.
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It all starts with drawing.
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I think the thing I remember the
most is, when I was little was,
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the excitement of being able to draw something.
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I loved to draw, and I did obsessively.
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I guess I kind of realized that it was a
skill that made me feel good about myself.
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The Art Institute in Chicago
totally changed my life.
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There were people there,
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the likes of whom I’d never seen before,
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in little Bloomington, Illinois.
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I absolutely fell in love with that world.
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But I think as much as I wanted to be an artist,
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I wanted to be different
the way they were different.
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Because it felt like freedom.
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Instead of being trapped in your little
Pendleton skirt and your bobbysocks,
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and your saddle shoes, you
could wear big heavy black boots
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and put blue makeup on and just,
you know, say what you thought.
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You didn't have to be a nice lady anymore.
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But the teachers seemed to
be there to teach you that
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you had no hopes and no prospects,
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and being an artist was one of the
most impossible things in the world.
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And you'd better realize that this
was a life of suffering, struggle,
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and you weren't going to be any good anyway.
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I had to really find a way to believe in myself.
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You know, I think I did it by looking at
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the paintings in the galleries in Chicago.
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I would go everyday and I would look at
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this particular DeKooning
painting called Excavation,
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and I would almost like do a dance with it.
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Like, oh, he went this way
and oh he went that way,
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and oh he smudged this and feeling
like the depth of that painting.
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When you look at it from a distance it looks like
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this roiling boiling pot of paint kind of.
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Except the order is in that paint.
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And when you go up to it you begin
to see like the layers of it,
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and I sort of deconstructed the painting
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and I would go back down to my
painting and I would try to do it.
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I never got that good, but it made
me start to feel my body and my mind.
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My mind letting my arm make the decision.
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And when you start to get the control
then your feelings can start to flow.
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And once that starts to
happen, it's like you know,
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you get on the track and the train starts moving.
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I just realized this was going to be my life.
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I really need time by myself, and I always have.
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And I think when I was a kid I
actually liked to play by myself a lot.
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And that’s not saying I don’t
need people because I do.
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I love the quiet of walking into my studio
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and looking at my work and then painting,
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and it just feels like of a piece
with my whole life in a way.
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Having my kids has made me
part of the world as an artist
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and as someone who works in a lot if isolation
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it's really made me deal with life in
a way that I absolutely wouldn't have.
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It's made me have a life,
and take my mind off myself.
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That's what they've done for me.
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They'll be more honest with
me than anybody else will.
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They'll tell me how they feel.
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And not everybody does that.
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DAISY: Which one do you want to talk about?
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MURRAY: What, honey?
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MURRAY: This one, yeah.
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So, what I want to know is, I'm trying to
decide whether to put this in the show.
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And I want to know, just tell
me exactly what you think of it.
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I just made some big changes in it.
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The drawings are different but this is
what sort of comes out from the drawings.
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SOPHIE: I like it. And I think if you –
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MURRAY: Of course what I wanted
you to say was it's great,
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it's good, don't touch it, put it in the show.
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DAISY: But Mom, even if you
couldn't, even if you were going to
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leave everything the way it was you couldn't
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because it's not like nothing except
for that and the chair and the door,
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it's nothing, and the sun, none of it is done.
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I think, I think that it all just
- it isn't a bad thing you just,
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the surfaces aren't finished.
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SOPHIE: Are you bored with it?
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MURRAY: No, I'm very interested in it.
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DAISY: Because you don't
ever leave things like this.
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MURRAY: Yeah, no, I'm going
to just keep working on it.
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SOPHIE: But maybe that would be
interesting not, just leaving it.
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MURRAY: No, I can’t do that. Daisy's right.
You're right, You're right, You're right.
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MURRAY: I think what I have to do is
take out the bloopy forms and re -
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and just, maybe they will come
back and maybe they won't, but -
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MURRAY: I think I got to
take these out for awhile.
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SOPHIE: It might just be nice to see
what it looks like when it is just,
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you know, blank.
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DAISY: It might be that they are too
much like the curves in the smoke.
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SOPHIE: Oh, yeah!
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MURRAY: Yeah but then, yeah.
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SOPHIE: I love the smoke.
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I think the smoke is my favorite thing.
I think I like this red and the pink.
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MURRAY: But what about the marks
inside the roof tops, the triangles.
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It just feels like, it's very descriptive.
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The triangle then becomes the
roof, you know what I mean?
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It's a representation.
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SOPHIE: I mean that's what it is.
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MURRAY: Yeah, ah-hah.
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SOPHIE: That's the chimney,
that's the smoke coming out of it,
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that's you know, the little people inside of it –
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MURRAY: Be quiet!
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SOPHIE: Of course there is room for
interpretation I mean that's what your work does,
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but you know there is the little
people inside that are talking,
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and that is what they are saying
inside I little speech bubbles.
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MURRAY: Cartoons, speech bubbles. Ohh, ok.
DAISY: I thought it was a path.
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SOPHIE: You thought it was a path?
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DAISY: Hmm-mmm.
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SOPHIE: Oh, it could be a path. See
Mom? We still don't know what it is!
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MURRAY: Ok, that's really
good. That's really helpful.
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I think every artist has
this, you leave it at night
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and you come back and you think,
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wow I've got it, I've got it.
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And then you come back in the morning
and it's gone, like it looks awful.
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And that's sort of when I think, "Why did
I go on this journey in the first place?
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What am I doing this for?
It's just, it's so painful."
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And then you know, the next morning you’re
back at it bright-eyed and bushy-tailed
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like trying again.
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MURRAY (SOT): OK, so let’s
move this painting over here.
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MURRAY (SOT): No, don’t even hang it up.
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My fantasy is that I would
get to a certain point where
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I would know what I wanted to say,
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where you were either on
this straight line or a road,
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you would never swerve.
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You would just do your work then.
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And that’s not the way it is at all.
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You know, get off the path and
then get back on again for a while
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and you trip along and suddenly you stumble
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and then you’re back on again.
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And I don’t think that process ever ends.
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MURRAY (SOT): And that height is good.
More over to the right, center it on the wall.
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MURRAY (SOT): Let’s switch this with this.
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MURRAY: When I really know
certain things are working for me,
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they make me laugh.
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Like oh, this is really silly.
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And I just enjoy that.
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And I think for myself it’s
part of what gets me through.
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I think it's really very
similar to how a kid plays.
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You know, it's like you are in your playroom
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and you are just picking up these different shapes
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and throwing them on the wall
and then putting them together
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and seeing what kind of a
game you can make out of them.
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I think that's pretty explanatory
of what it feels like to make them,
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and very close to the kind of feeling
that I want to get out of them,
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and I think I want you to get out of them too.