Bullying | Madeline Morgan | TEDxYouth@ParkCity

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx

People in popular roles like cheerleading experience bullying. Society and media present images that make us prone to bullying. Change starts with the individual and recognizing your own beauty.

Madeline is a 15-year-old who attends Park City High School in Park City, Utah. She's a cheerleader, skier, runner, and honor student.

When you look at these images,
what do you see?

What do you think of?

Maybe you see things
like beautiful, skinny, flawless.

By the way,

after looking at a fashion magazine
for about three seconds

your self-esteem goes down by 50%,

according to the publication
Psychology Today.

Now what do you see?

Do your thoughts change?

Maybe, when you look at these images,

you see something
like fat, ugly, or even weird.

Do you realize
that could be considered bullying?

Don't worry, it's not your fault.

Society and media have trained you
to look at these images in that way.

Hello, I am 15, almost 16 years old.

I'm a cheerleader, skier,
runner, slash honor student,

here at Park City High School.

When I was a little girl,

me and my mom's favorite TV show
was America's Next Top Model.

During the commercials, I used to do
my best runway walk and strut my stuff.

And then I'd ask my mom,

I'd say, "Mommy, am I skinny enough?
Am I pretty enough to win?"

Keep in mind I was about eight years old.

From a young age, we are trained by media

with images on Facebook,
Instagram, TV, magazines.

It's literally everywhere.

From beauty campaigns
to definition of perfect,

girls are told
we have to have collarbones

you can see from a mile away.

For boys, it's all about
your hair and jawline.

If you can't meet up to those standards,

you aren't worth the time.

Media tells us we aren't good enough

and gives us unrealistic,
photoshoped, perfect images.

This is why I believe
we are prone to bullying.

No offense to anyone here;

I don't believe
you can exactly stop bullying.

There's no law, cure, or punishment
you can give a human being

to make them stop
being rude to each other.

No, the change starts with you.

As a great man, an idol of mine once said,

"You must be the change
you wish to see in the world.

Bullying starts and stops
with you, an individual.

I want to knock down some stereotypes
and give you some statistics.

For starters, it's not just
the nerds, geeks, and weirdos

that are bullied and shoved
into the nearest locker.

No, far from it.

Anyone and everyone is bullied.

I bet I could ask every single one of you
if you've ever been bullied,

and you'd say yes.

Three point two million students
a year are bullied.

One in four teachers do not believe
bullying is a problem,

and only 4% of teachers
would actually intervene

in a bullying situation.

A new study done by Fox News
shows that being bullied as a child

is more harmful, emotionally,
than being abused by an adult.

So, who do you trust

if a friend, a teacher, or peers
can't always be there for you?

I know how this feels:

totally alone, no friends to be with,

like no one could ever understand.

I've been bullied a lot in my life.

I've been called things
like, "Fattolin," and "Slut,"

and many other names by many people.

I know all the emotions
one in six kids feels every single day.

I can tell you, bullying is real.

and it hurts you
more than just emotionally.

So, what is my solution?

You always have yourself.

Look in that mirror.

A little closer, a little harder.

Find that one thing, that ability,
that trait that you love about yourself.

I know this is not an easy task.

We are our own hardest critic,

and the media has taught us
to be unaccepting of ourselves,

always trying to fix the little things,

but never quite making it to perfect.

But I promise you, it's there;

whether it's skin deep
or something on the inside.

When you find that, you hold on to it,

and the next time you're bullied,
you cling on to it, and you say,

"I know myself,

and they are wrong.

They're wrong."

You know yourself
way better than any bully does.

So why listen to a by-standard

when you can listen to an expert?

Don't let someone tear you down.

I know the next time
someone calls me Fattolin,

I'm not going to be aggressive about it,

and no, I'm not going to run away either.

I'm going to stand up,
and I'm going to say,

"I'm sorry, but you are
completely wrong about me."

And walk away.

Because that makes
a better impression, anyways.

I like to think of myself
as an example against the stereotypes

because I am a cheerleader

which is considered to be
a popular position,

but I still deal with bullying
all the time.

Showing people who you are,

and not letting media
or a bully define you,

is what I call,

"Mirror BeYOUty."

Being who you are
is way more attractive or beautiful to me

than a good jawline and some great hair.

Your character is
what makes you well, you!

You don't have to teach the whole world

on how to report a bully
or tell a principal you read a mean text.

No, you need to teach the whole world
on how to be themselves

and not let anyone whether be a bully,

a boss, a teacher, or even a parent

tell them different.

You are all beautiful,
so show your beYOUty.

Thank you.

(Applause)