Back Home Ballers - Saturday Night Live

Kate McKinnon, Cecily Strong, Sasheer Zamata, Vanessa Bayer, Leslie Jones, Cameron Diaz and Lil' Baby Aidy Bryant rap about coming home for Thanksgiving and living the good life.

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Your girls are back

We’re home for Thanksgiving y’all

And our parents are real happy to see us

So they’re gonna treat us like queens

This may be their house

But for the next four days
We’re about to run this bitch

Walk in the door, hand my bag to the valet
In case you’re wondering - it’s my daddy

Head straight to the fridge like a boss yo
Hell yeah - my mom went to Costco

It ain’t my house but I’ll tear it up
Got a plate real dirty, won’t clean it up

Then I roll up to the washer,
laundry game on lock

Gonna do a whole load for just one sock

Cuz I’m a back home baller
If I want something I just holler

I do what I want and I get what I want
Cuz my parents miss their daughter

This whole damn house is a shrine to me
Cuz everybody here’s obsessed with me

My second grade drawings
are framed like Picasso’s

If I say “mom, tacos”
my mom will make tacos

We always see a movie but it can’t be odd
So we settle for Penguins or Madagascar

And as a nice gesture
I bought all the tickets

Psych - not a chance!
My dad freakin’ did it

When my mom needs help
I pretend to be nappin’

Even though I can hear
all that is happening

It sounds like she really
needs help in the kitchen

But if she thinks I’m moving,
then that bitch be trippin’

I’m a back home baller
And grandma says I look taller

They wait on me like I’m sickly
That’s the life of a back home baller

Taking out the thrash
when my neighbours spot me

They swarm around me
like my own paparazzi

Talking and stalking
they can’t get enough of me

Wondering, questioning
what’s going on with me

“So what’s going on with you?”
“Uh… The same?”

“Okay, Jean… Bye…”

Once everyone’s in bed I go insane

Heroin, marijuana, crack cocaine
Are not what I want I want cheese on chips

And to put on some very own
crisp white strips

Getting free wi-fi like a dope ass hoe
The password starts with seventeen O’s

Hold up, y’all don’t even know
how hip it is at my mom’s house

That bitch puts out so many bowls
of things for me, it’s insane

I’m up to my ass in bowls, bowls,
all types of bowls

Chips and mints and seashell bowls

My mom’s got a bowl for anything
Potpourri and nuts and err-thang

Bowl on the toilet, bowl on the shelf
Bowl of M&M’s, I can’t help myself

She puts out these bowls for me
And any bowl I like I get for free

Cuz I’m a back home baller
In pajamas that cost 10 dollars

Tell my mother that I love her more
than any freaking other

That’s the life of a back home baller

Damn straight y’all!

Love y’all mom and dad, we out

See you in a month for Christmas,
we doing this all again