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♪ (guitar music) ♪
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Ok...ok
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So I'm doing and experiment
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where I try to see how much
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I can get away with before
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they stop inviting me to these things.
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(laughter)
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Alright, I've asked the...
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If you follow me on Twitter,
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you know what's about to happen.
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If you don't follow me on Twitter,
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you are in for a treat.
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Uuumm, I've asked the organizers
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to place security at the back door,
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so you can't leave now.
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Aaand, I will begin. (Clears throat)
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I don't understand why people
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like static typing so much --
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it's impossible for me to program
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without moving my hands.
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(laughter)
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I heard a team of French programmers
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are working on a jit for Ruby.
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They call it "Le jit."
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The second version will be called
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"2 le git."
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I recently went to a Javascript conference,
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but all of the node developers put me on edge.
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It's nine A.M. Yassss!
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(Clears throat, laughs)
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Apparently ActionCable
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is all about streaming,
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so why didn't D.H.H.
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call it ActionNetflix?
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(laughter)
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The problem with ActionCable
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is that I'm paying for more channels
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than I watch.
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(laughter)
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I'm really excited
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about the new text-based browser
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that D.H.H. announced yesterday --
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turbo links.
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(laughter)
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How much time do we have left?
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(laughter)
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Ok, alright,
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I will stop punishing you
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for a while.
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Alright, hold on...
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hold on a sec.
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Let's get this..
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let's get this started.
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Gotta get this started up here.
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Sorry, I shoulda...
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I shoulda prepared.
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(laughter)
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One sec...
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Sorry, hold on.
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♪ (Windows XP startup chime) ♪
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Ok, uh...
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Alright, I think we're up.
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So you're probably wondering
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why I'm using Windows XP.
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So uh...
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I'll explain why I'm using Windows XP.
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And the reason is because uh...
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Kent Beck is here at this conference --
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he's going to be giving a keynote.
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And... so like I'm a really huge fan
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of Kent Beck,
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and I went to his Wikipedia page
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and it turns out that Kent Beck invented XP.
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(laughter)
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Thought I'd use XP for this presentation.
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Unfortunately, uhhhh,
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Windows XP has no emoji
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and I really like to use emoji
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so instead I have to use Wingdings.
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Um... (laughter)
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So I'm sorry this presentation
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will lack emoji.
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Um, anyway, so
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welcome to Rails Conf.
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I'm really happy that you're all here
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and that you came to watch me. Um,
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I really enjoy going to Rails Conf.
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It's like, if you attend Rails Conf,
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you'll get to meet a lot
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of the Core Team developers, like me.
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And um most of the Core Team comes
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Rails Conf.
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And I mean the reason that
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most of us Core Team members
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have to come to Rails Conf
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is so that we know
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what the next version of Rails will have.
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(laughter)
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Ok, ActionCable...
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So my name is Aaron Patterson.
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If you do not follow me on the internet,
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I am tenderlove.
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If you do not recognize me,
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this is what I look like on the internet.
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So...just so that's clear,
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this is me in fact.
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Um...so I have to start out
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and say thanks to everybody.
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Um...I work for Redhat,
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so thank you, Redhat.
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Yes, I'm using Windows, sorry.
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Um... I enjoy working at Redhat,
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I'm on the ManageIQ team.
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We write software that manages clouds.
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So if you have a cloud,
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we will manage it.
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Um...
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Um... I also want to say thanks
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to Ruby Central for having me here
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and having Rails Conf.