♪ (guitar music) ♪

Ok...ok

So I'm doing and experiment

where I try to see how much

I can get away with before

they stop inviting me to these things.

(laughter)

Alright, I've asked the...

If you follow me on Twitter,

you know what's about to happen.

If you don't follow me on Twitter,

you are in for a treat.

Uuumm, I've asked the organizers

to place security at the back door,

so you can't leave now.

Aaand, I will begin. (Clears throat)

I don't understand why people

like static typing so much --

it's impossible for me to program

without moving my hands.

(laughter)

I heard a team of French programmers

are working on a jit for Ruby.

They call it "Le jit."

The second version will be called

"2 le git."

I recently went to a Javascript conference,

but all of the node developers put me on edge.

It's nine A.M. Yassss!

(Clears throat, laughs)

Apparently ActionCable

is all about streaming,

so why didn't D.H.H.

call it ActionNetflix?

(laughter)

The problem with ActionCable

is that I'm paying for more channels

than I watch.

(laughter)

I'm really excited

about the new text-based browser

that D.H.H. announced yesterday --

turbo links.

(laughter)

How much time do we have left?

(laughter)

Ok, alright,

I will stop punishing you

for a while.

Alright, hold on...

hold on a sec.

Let's get this..

let's get this started.

Gotta get this started up here.

Sorry, I shoulda...

I shoulda prepared.

(laughter)

One sec...

Sorry, hold on.

♪ (Windows XP startup chime) ♪

Ok, uh...

Alright, I think we're up.

So you're probably wondering

why I'm using Windows XP.

So uh...

I'll explain why I'm using Windows XP.

And the reason is because uh...

Kent Beck is here at this conference --

he's going to be giving a keynote.

And... so like I'm a really huge fan

of Kent Beck,

and I went to his Wikipedia page

and it turns out that Kent Beck invented XP.

(laughter)

Thought I'd use XP for this presentation.

Unfortunately, uhhhh,

Windows XP has no emoji

and I really like to use emoji

so instead I have to use Wingdings.

Um... (laughter)

So I'm sorry this presentation

will lack emoji.

Um, anyway, so

welcome to Rails Conf.

I'm really happy that you're all here

and that you came to watch me. Um,

I really enjoy going to Rails Conf.

It's like, if you attend Rails Conf,

you'll get to meet a lot

of the Core Team developers, like me.

And um most of the Core Team comes

Rails Conf.

And I mean the reason that

most of us Core Team members

have to come to Rails Conf

is so that we know

what the next version of Rails will have.

(laughter)

Ok, ActionCable...

So my name is Aaron Patterson.

If you do not follow me on the internet,

I am tenderlove.

If you do not recognize me,

this is what I look like on the internet.

So...just so that's clear,

this is me in fact.

Um...so I have to start out

and say thanks to everybody.

Um...I work for Redhat,

so thank you, Redhat.

Yes, I'm using Windows, sorry.

Um... I enjoy working at Redhat,

I'm on the ManageIQ team.

We write software that manages clouds.

So if you have a cloud,

we will manage it.

Um...

Um... I also want to say thanks

to Ruby Central for having me here

and having Rails Conf.