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♪ (guitar music) ♪

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Ok...ok

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So I'm doing and experiment

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where I try to see how much

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I can get away with before

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they stop inviting me to these things.

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(laughter)

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Alright, I've asked the...

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If you follow me on Twitter,

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you know what's about to happen.

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If you don't follow me on Twitter,

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you are in for a treat.

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Uuumm, I've asked the organizers

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to place security at the back door,

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so you can't leave now.

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Aaand, I will begin. (Clears throat)

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I don't understand why people

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like static typing so much --

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it's impossible for me to program

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without moving my hands.

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(laughter)

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I heard a team of French programmers

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are working on a jit for Ruby.

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They call it "Le jit."

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The second version will be called

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"2 le git."

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I recently went to a Javascript conference,

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but all of the node developers put me on edge.

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It's nine A.M. Yassss!

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(Clears throat, laughs)

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Apparently ActionCable

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is all about streaming,

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so why didn't D.H.H.

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call it ActionNetflix?

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(laughter)

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The problem with ActionCable

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is that I'm paying for more channels

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than I watch.

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(laughter)

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I'm really excited

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about the new text-based browser

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that D.H.H. announced yesterday --

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turbo links.

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(laughter)

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How much time do we have left?

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(laughter)

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Ok, alright,

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I will stop punishing you

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for a while.

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Alright, hold on...

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hold on a sec.

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Let's get this..

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let's get this started.

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Gotta get this started up here.

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Sorry, I shoulda...

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I shoulda prepared.

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(laughter)

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One sec...

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Sorry, hold on.

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♪ (Windows XP startup chime) ♪

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Ok, uh...

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Alright, I think we're up.

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So you're probably wondering

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why I'm using Windows XP.

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So uh...

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I'll explain why I'm using Windows XP.

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And the reason is because uh...

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Kent Beck is here at this conference --

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he's going to be giving a keynote.

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And... so like I'm a really huge fan

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of Kent Beck,

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and I went to his Wikipedia page

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and it turns out that Kent Beck invented XP.

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(laughter)

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Thought I'd use XP for this presentation.

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Unfortunately, uhhhh,

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Windows XP has no emoji

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and I really like to use emoji

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so instead I have to use Wingdings.

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Um... (laughter)

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So I'm sorry this presentation

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will lack emoji.

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Um, anyway, so

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welcome to Rails Conf.

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I'm really happy that you're all here

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and that you came to watch me. Um,

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I really enjoy going to Rails Conf.

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It's like, if you attend Rails Conf,

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you'll get to meet a lot

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of the Core Team developers, like me.

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And um most of the Core Team comes

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Rails Conf.

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And I mean the reason that

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most of us Core Team members

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have to come to Rails Conf

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is so that we know

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what the next version of Rails will have.

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(laughter)

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Ok, ActionCable...

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So my name is Aaron Patterson.

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If you do not follow me on the internet,

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I am tenderlove.

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If you do not recognize me,

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this is what I look like on the internet.

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So...just so that's clear,

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this is me in fact.

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Um...so I have to start out

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and say thanks to everybody.

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Um...I work for Redhat,

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so thank you, Redhat.

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Yes, I'm using Windows, sorry.

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Um... I enjoy working at Redhat,

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I'm on the ManageIQ team.

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We write software that manages clouds.

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So if you have a cloud,

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we will manage it.

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Um...

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Um... I also want to say thanks

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to Ruby Central for having me here

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and having Rails Conf.