Twilight Zone - Episode 124 - A Kind of a Stopwatch

Vous ouvrez cette porte avec la clè de votre imagination.

Au delà se trouve une autre dimension-

une dimension de son...

une dimension de vision...

une dimension de l'esprit.

Vous vous déplacez à travers une contrée d'ombre et de substance,

de choses et d'idées.

Vous venez de rentrer dans la Quatrième Dimension.

Pensez à ça pendant une minute.

Vous ne pouvez pas diriger une entreprise

en restant coincé dans votre routine.

Une entreprise doit bouger. Une entreprise doit progresser.

Vous devez continuer à pousser et à aller de l'avant

jusqu'à ce que votre entreprise se diversifie.

C'est la clé du succès.

Pause café.

Une entreprise doit être diversifiée.

C'était justement ce que je leur disais, Fred.

Vous ne pouvez pas diriger une entreprise

en restant coincé dans votre routine.

Tout comme la variété est le piment de la vie,

la diversification est la clé du succès en affaires.

Pensez à ça maintenant.

Et bien, j'ai du café au lait,

du café avec de la crème et du sucre,

du café avec du sucre,

du café avec de la crème et du café noir,

je me suis déjà diversifié.

Maintenant est-ce que vous pourriez sortir de mon chemin, McNulty?

Mcnulty.

Ici McNulty.

M. Cooper voudrait vous voir.

Vous entendez ça? Est-ce que vous entendez ça?

M. Cooper voudrait vous voir McNulty.

Et savez-vous pourquoi M. Cooper veut voir McNulty?

Parce que ça fait 11 mois que j'ai rempli

la boîte à suggestions.

ESt-ce que j'ai dit suggestions?

Ça n'est pas ce que je voulais dire.

N'importe quel idiot peut faire des suggestions.

Mais des plans pour l'avenir,

il n'y a que McNulty qui peut les faire. Pensez à cela maintenant.

Il vous attend McNulty.

11 mois de suggestions

qui sont sur le point de se concrétiser.

Dites, ça ne vous dirait pas

de dîner avec moi?

Même si j'étais affamée

et que vous étiez le dernier homme sur la planète

et que ma survie en dépendait, peut-être,

mais je n'ai pas faim,

et vous n'êtes pas le dernier homme,

et ma survie ne dépend pas de ça, alors

sortez de là, McNulty.

Soumises à votre approbation ou au moins à votre analyse:

Patrick Thomas McNulty,

qui, à l'âge de 41 ans et la personne la plus ennuyeuse du monde.

Il a un record de 10 ans

pour le plus de mots insensés

régurgités durant une pause café.

Et il est très probable qu'il ait, jusqu'à présent,

vécu tout ce temps-là, comme une grande gueule barbante

qui fait reculer l'art de la conversation d'au moins mille ans.

Je dis "il est probable" car quelque chose va bientôt lui arriver

quelque chose qui changera son existence... et la notre.

Gardez cela en tête, maintenant,

parce que nous sommes dans la quatrième dimension.

Est-ce que vous savez ce que je suis en train de faire, M. McNulty?

Oui, M. Cooper,

Vous êtes en train de regarder les suggestions de la boîte à suggestions.

Je savais que vous alliez le faire. Je m'y attendais.

Ce n'est pas tous les employés qui se rendent compte

qu'un de ses employés a du talent.

McNulty en a évidemment à revendre.

Jamais on a dit plus vrai.

Merci, monsieur.

Oui, je viens de passer en revue

la boîte à suggestions

des 3 derniers mois.

Et voici une de vos suggestions

datée du 13 mars.

"Faites des hot dogs plus plats pour qu'ils

puissent rentrer facilement dans un pain de hamburger."

Qu'en pensez-vous?

Pensez à ca, maintenant.

"Faites les boîtes métalliques carrés

pour qu'elles puissent être empilées

plus facilement dans les poubelles."

Ça n'est pas amusant?

"Mettez des petits pontons dans les sacs des soldats

pour qu'ils puissent traverser

toutes les rivières d'eux-mêmes."

Celle-là vaut de l'or.

Les soldats vont dans l'eau...

M. Mcnulty, coopercorporation fait des

sous vêtements féminins.

Ça n'a rien à voir avec des hamburgers, des hot dogs,

des boîtes métalliques ou la défense de notre pays.

Et aucune de vos 340 suggestions-

je répète, aucune de ces suggestions N'a rien à voir

avec les produits de cette compagnie.

Voilà exactement la raison pour laquelle je voulais parler avec vous, m. Cooper.

La clé d'une entreprise fructueuse et moderne est la diversification.

Pensez à ça mainternant.

J'ai bien réfléchi et vous êtes renvoyé!

Baseball?Baseball ça n'est rien du tout.

Le football est le sport le plus rapide du monde.

Au baseball, ils changent de côté,

et d'un côté, et de l'autre, inning après inning.

Pendant la première mi-temps au football, ils n'arrêtent pas de courir.

Angleterre, France, Espagne, Amérique Latine.

Le football est le sport le plus rapide du monde.

Pensez à ça maintenant.

Hé! Joe, tu connais ces portes battantes

qu'on trouve dans les saloons? Pourquoi on ne les mettrait pas ici

et comme ça, tu pourrais appeler ça le saloon de Palucci.

Qu'est-ce que tu en penses?

Ouais, qu'est-ce que tu en penses?

Je vais le faire demain à la première heure.

Excellent! Quand je viendrai, je pourrai penser, "c'est moi qui est fait ça."

Pas mal, non?

S'il vous plaît, le match de baseballe.

Les tours de circuits ne sont pas importants.

Allez, mon gars.

On essaie de regarder.

As to the averagelong-ball hitter

compared to aconsistent clutch hitter

with a good average,

i'll take the latterevery time.

Well, that's very nice of you.

Well, it's a fact.It's an absolute fact.

Oh, boy, here we go again.

At no time hasa home-run hitter

led the league in batting.

Yeah?

Ted williams wonthe batting championship

and led the league in home runsin 1941, '42 and '47.

Exception to the rule.Think about that.

The exception to the rule.

You know something.

There's a ten-inchtelevision set

in my sister's apartment,kind that dates back to 1948.

She's got five kids.

The apartment'sa six-floor walkup,

and it's boiling hot.

But i'll tell you-

there's one thing thatapartment don't have

that makes it all worthwhile.

It don't have mcnulty.

-Charlie, charlie, wait.-Forget it, joe.

Shut it off.Blabbermouth-i can't take it.

Ah, you think about.Hear what i said?

The exception to the rule.

The exception to the rule.

Let me ask yousomething, mcnulty.

How come you'rein here so early tonight?

You've been there forthree and a half hours.

It so happens i quit my job.

I went into cooper's officeand i read him off.

Don't tell me.Don't tell me.

You got canned.

Well, in a mannerof speaking.

You might say... yeah.

We mutually agreed

i wouldn't workthere anymore.

Joe, tell me something.

Wouldn't you thinkthat after one year

of putting ideasin that suggestion box,

after one whole year,that i'd get noticed?

Let me tell you something.

Getting noticedand getting liked

are two different things.

What do you know?

Nothing, mcnulty.

Not a thing.

Good night, joe.

Wait a minute.

All i know is

that every night ofevery week of every month,

except election day,you come in here

drive everybodyout of their skull

walking on your lower lip.

Now, you think about that.

Will you think about that?

What do you say?

I say...

"54, 40 or fight."

I also say "damn the torpedoes,full speed ahead!"

And on occasion, i will say,

"it takes a heap of livingto make a house a home."

Want another beer?

Thank you very much.

I would appreciate another.

Two more beers, bartender.

Two beers, big deal.

What's your name?

Potts.

That's not a bad name.

I was born with it.

Seems to me therewas a third baseman

who used to play forthe phillies named potts.

Lou potts? Phil potts?

It couldn't be botts?

No, it's potts.

Two beers.

You paying for this, mcnulty?

Because this guy justgave me his last dime.

This guy is myfriend, mr. Botts.

Potts!

And i'd appreciate

a little respect from you.

I bet you would.

You getting respect from me

is about as easy asflagging down a cab

on 46th and broadwayat 8:00 on new year's eve...

in the rain.

Never mind-drink up, pal.

What do you want to talk about?

Want to talk about baseball?

It's the great american sport,

and i am very happy abnerdoubleday saw fit to invent it.

Cheers!

To health, friend.

Down the hatch.

And now to thank youfor your generosity,

i have something for you.

It's a gift.

A small remembranceof our friendship.

What is it?

It's a stopwatch-a old family heirloom.

What do you do with it?

I mean, it doesn't keep time.

It's just a stopwatch.

That is a fact.

But it is yours.

You may have it.

What'll i do with it? Stopwatch.

Well, someday you mightown a racehorse

or you might wantto run the mile

or launch an astronaut.

Well, good-bye, old pal.

Oh...

e pluribus unum.

Toodle-oo,beertender.

Beertender...

nice clientele.

Your friend.

I wouldn't listen to my mother.

She wanted me to be a doctor.

No, i had to be a wiseguy.

Had to run a beerjoint like this.

Well, you live and you learn.

Done for the night, mcnulty?

Everybody's gone, you happy?

You bored ten people to death.

You emptied my place

like it hada smallpox sign out there.

Do me a favor, will you? -

whenever you get the thirst,go to some other bar.

I don't feel muchlike going home.

I've seen the movieon the late show.

I've even seen the movieonthe late, late show.

Sometimes i even wishi was married.

Do you ever get that feeling?

Joe?

Joe.

Hey, why you standing that way?

Hey, joe, say something.

You look like you were frozen.

I was telling you i was bored

and this crazy gleepgave me this watch

sat here and i pushed it.

That's another thing-

you make me nervous.

First, you bore people to deathand then you make me nervous.

I make you nervous?

You know something?

You're the one guythat makes me wish

they never repealed prohibition.

Something tells methis is a very unusual watch.

And another thing,mcnulty.

Mcnulty?

I'm over here.

That can't be.

I had too much to drink.

I need some sleep.

It can't be.

It works.

I push the button, i stopthe watch, and i stop the world.

Good morning, wage slaves.

Make way for a free man.

Good morning, doll.

Oh, what's the suggestionthis time, mcnulty?

If you don't have one,i've got one for you.

Why don't you jump off a bridge?

Honey doll,i have a product

that is going to put a dentin your eyeballs.

What would you sayto a stopwatch

that, when somebodypushes it,

everything stopsin midair, hmm?

Why don't you run awayand get lost, mcnulty,

or get to the point.

I already have.

Last night,i'm in joe palucci's bar,

we're sitting aroundtalking about this and that,

when this funny gleepgives me this stopwatch.

Without thinking,i push this button-

this one right here-

and everything stops dead.Everything.

Think about that now.

Palucci drops a glass,

the glass hits the floor,but the glass stops.

Everything stops.

Palucci stops,trains, subways, goldfish.

Everything stops.Think about that now, hm?

Goldfish, too, huh?

That's the mostamazing thing i ever heard.

Now, get out of here, will you?

Mm-mm. I came to see cooper.

It is time to diversify.

Oh, now, just a minute.

Mr. Cooper's in conference.

You're right-he's in conference with mcnulty.

Mr. Cooper, i'm sorry, sir.

I fired you, mcnulty.

What are you doing here?

He barged right in.

I couldn't doanything about it.

Well, He barged right inhe can barge right out.

Listen, coop...coop?!

You can't afford to fire methis time because this time

i've got more than suggestions,i've got the goods.

You think about this now.

You figure outhow this stopwatch works,

and you've got a million bucks.

Mcnulty, let me remind you-

we make ladies foundationgarments, nothing else.

Now, do you hear me?

Nothing else.

So i will give you 15 secondsto leave this room.

Now, get out.

Hey, fred, cup of coffeefor the lady, i'm buying.

Never mind. I'll buy my own coffee.

If you're not outof this office

in one minute, i'llcall the police.

Is that so, honey baby?

It'll take more than the police.

You'll need the armyand the navy.

How about that crumb?

He didn't evenlet me show him.

So whatam i waiting for?

I'll just show him.

Operator, get me...

kitchie-kitchie-coo.

Kitchie-kitchie-cooper.

It's good for a laughbut there must be

something else i cando with this thing.

I'll think about it.

...the police.

Uh... never mind, operator.

He's gone.

So you tell ouradvertising agents...

hey, joe.Palucci, all you guys.

Have i got somethingto show you.

Well, that takescare of the game.

This thing is so greatyou're not going to believe it.

Mcnulty, make it quick, huh?

Oh, now, listen,you just pay attention.

Pay attention.

With this little gizmo,

i can stop trains, tanks,subways, anything.

What about your mouth?

Funny. Funny.

Listen, last night,i was at the polo grounds.

And right in the middle

of ron hunt's slideinto second base,

i stopped the game.

Yeah,i stopped the game.

I left my seat,i ran down on the field,

i grabbed second base,and i moved it ten feet.

Come on.

Then i went back upinto the stands,

sat downand started the game again.

And hunt, instead of being outby ten feet, was safe,

and the mets went onto win the game

because snider doubled him home.

And that's not the only thingi can stop with this watch.

I can stop anything- watch.

Well?

Well, how about that now?

How about what?

Are you kidding?Didn't you see what i did?

Oh, come on, mcnulty,out of the way.

I want to get home,get some peace and quiet.

Wait a minute.Fellas, fellas,wait a minute.

I'll put the game on again.

Oh, no...

well, you done itagain, mcnulty.

You emptied my place.

You drive more guysout of saloons than carry nation.

I get it. I get it.

Of course you guys didn't see-you were frozen.

I'm the only one who knows.I'm the only one.

Huh. How about that.

The greatest conversation piecein the world- the greatest-

and what does it do?

It stops conversation.

I'm closing up in a few minutes,

so it shouldn't be a total loss,you better order up.

Beer.

Beer!

Don't you ever orderanything expensive?

Beer.

And drink it fast,will you?

'Cause the combinationof you, the hot weather,

and my business recession

is more than i cantake in one day.

Give it time.Give it time.

Give me a heart attacksometime, will you, mcnulty?

Leave a tip.

Hey, palucci, come here.

Look at me.

What are you, somekind of a sadist?

You know whatyou're looking at?

A jerk, a nut.

You want to stop thereor try for moron?

Why do i want this thing? Why?

Because i want a little notice,that's why.I'm not ashamed to admit that.

And i'll tell yousomething else.

When john d. Rockefellersteps out of a car,

why do people wantto shake his hand?

I'll bite.

Because he's loaded.

Because he's got cash, loot,lettuce, the old mazoo.

That's why people want to shakejohn d. Rockefeller's hand.

J.b. Morgan walks into a restaurant...j.p.

J.p. Morgan walksinto a restaurant,

the head waiter breaks his backto get a table ready.

You know why?I'll tell you why.

I figured you would.

Because he's loaded, that's why.

You think about that.

And then you think about this.

As of tomorrow evening,mcnulty is going to be loaded.

Palucci, takea good look at the old mcnulty.

The next timeyou see me,

it'll be the new mcnulty.

Why don't you go the whole routeand move to honolulu?

Tomorrow i'll be ableto buy honolulu!

May i?

Thank you.

Oh, no.

Come on, everyone.

Move! Move!

Come on, everybody.

Up, up, move!

Do something.

Come on, everybody,say something.

Walk, hey!

Come on, everybody, move.

Hey, fellas,look, i didn't mean it.

I'll have it fixed.

Oh, please, come on, wake up.

Mr. Cooper...

mr. Cooper?

Excuse me.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry,i didn't mean it.

Please, understand.

It's not my fault.

I didn't do any... oh, no!

Please, say something.

Move!

Charlie, i'm sorry i bugged you.

Charlie, move.

Lady...

joe...

joe?

Joe, say something.

Do something, move.

Joe, insult me.

I won't come here anymore.

I won't make noise.

I won't drive people away.

Honest, joe, move.

Oh, you, mister,please, say something.

I'm sorry i took the money.

I don't care about the money.

All i want is to hear peoplesay something again

and to see people moving again.

Oh, doesn't anybody know howto make this thing work again?

Someone, help!

Help me!

Please, somebody move!

Talk, say something! Help!

Mr. Patrick thomas mcnultywho had a gift of time.

He used it and he misused it

and now he's just beenhanded the bill.

Tonight's tale of motion andmcnulty- in the twilight zone.