A meditation joke

…meditation retreat joke.

There's this person, he’s been
on a meditation retreat for nine days.

And you do actually find
that people do actually slow down.

You walk very
slowly, you talk very slowly.

Can you get much more
mindful even picking things up?

You pick it up and
you notice all these amazing sensations

when you pick things up
or you put it down again.

You do things very slowly.

So after the nine day
retreat fella went back to work,

and he was working in Perth Zoo.

And so when the head keeper saw him,

you know, coming to
work walking very slowly

and mindfully, he thought ‘’What
am I going to do with this guy today?’’.

And so he thought
he had this brilliant idea.

He said ‘’I know! I'm gonna put you
in charge of the tortoise enclosure.’’

(laughter)

Obviously because
tortoises go really slowly.

So if you’ve been
on a meditation retreat,

if you're working at a zoo
that's the best thing to do,

you know – look after the tortoises.

So he told the head keeper ‘’Yes.
I. Will. Look. After. The. Tortoises.’’.

And he walked very slowly
and mindfully to the tortoise enclosure

And at lunch time the
head keeper decided to check up on him.

And there he was, in front of
the tortoise enclosure, with the gate open

and all the tortoises had escaped.

(laughter)

When the head keeper asked
“What happened??”

‘’Well.’’ said the meditator, ‘’I.
Opened. The. Gate. And. Whoosh!”.

(laughter)

That's an old meditation teacher’s joke.

(laughter)

Because when you
really go slow even tortoises whoosh!

(laughter)

So anyway…