It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia : Mac's Evolution Argument

Here mac successfully and hilariously disproves evolution to the gang. I don't own any of this and don't intend to profit from it. i just posted it because i love it so much and i want to share it.

I'm finished, guys!
I'm finished.

Now, this is all about making myself
credible in your eyes again,

and I'm gonna do that by admitting
that evolution...

is a lie!

(off screen voice) God damn you, Mac!

(Dennis) Yes, please do, Mac.

Now, as you can see,
this is the Evolution Meter.

And I've put God,
the creator of everything,

on the right side,
and evolution...

on the left.

I went ahead and put you
guys all on the fence,

'cause of course you're gonna...

(Dennis) Actually, no.
(Charlie) Let's start where I would start.

(Mac) No matter.
I'm righteous.

I'm not gonna stand here,

present some egghead scientific
argument based on fact.

I'm just a regular dude.

I like to drink beer.

You know,
I love my family.

Rock, flag, and eagle,
right, Charlie?

He's got a point.

(Dennis) No, he doesn't.
(Dee) What?

(Mac) See, Charlie?

These liberals are trying to
assassinate my character.

And I can't change their mind.

I won't change my mind,
'cause I don't have to.

'Cause I'm an American.

I won't change my mind on anything,

regardless of the facts that
are set out before me.

I'm dug in,
and I'll never change.

Mac, look.
You're wasting our time.

You're not gonna get us to not
believe in evolution.

And why is that?

Because the smartest scientists in
the entire world all agree that it's real.

I'm glad you brought that up,
because, Mr. Reynolds,

(Mac) science is a liar sometimes.
(Dee) Oh boy.

This... is Aristotle,

thought to be the smartest
man on the planet.

He believed that the Earth was
the center of the universe,

and everybody believed him,
because he was so smart.

Until another smartest guy came around,

Galileo,
and he disproved that theory,

making Aristotle and everybody else
on Earth look like a

bitch.

'Course, Galileo then thought comets
were an optical illusion,

and there was no way that the moon
could cause the ocean's tides.

Everybody believed that because
he was so smart.

He was also wrong,

making him and everyone else on
Earth look like a bitch again.

And then, best of all,
Sir Isaac Newton gets born,

and blows everybody's nips off
with his big brains.

'Course, he also thought he
could turn metal into gold,

and died eating mercury,

making him yet another stupid...

bitch!

Are you seeing a pattern?

No.

Mr. Reynolds, these were all the
smartest scientists on the planet.

Only problem is,
they kept being wrong

sometimes.

This is insane, you fool.

I'm a fool because I have more faith
in the saints that wrote the Bible?

Yeah, because you just read the words
of a bunch of guys that you never met,

and you just take it on faith that
everything they wrote was true.

Hmm. And what makes you think
what your scientists

are writing is any more truer
than my saints?

Because there are volumes
of proven data,

numbers, you know,
figures.

There there are fossil records.

Oh, fossil records.
Ah!

I didn't even think about the
fossil records.

I guess I'll concede.

Oh, wait, uh, one more thing before I do,
Mr. Reynolds.

Have you seen these fossil records?

Have I seen... huh?

Have you pored through
the data yourself?

The numbers?
The figures?

Well, no.
I'm no.

Oh. Interesting.

So let me get this straight,
Mr. Reynolds.

You get your information from a book
written by men you've never met.

And you take their
words as truth,

based on a willingness to believe,

a desire to accept,
a leap of... humph

dare I say it?

Faith?

Come on,
come on.

Look, I mean,
I don't even know how

I'm supposed to respond to that, like.

(Dennis) Oh come on.

That is,
that's a false equivalency.

Just answer the question,
Mr. Reynolds.

Sure.
Yeah, okay.

I rest my case.

Well, that got me.

Frank, do you want me to, uh...

(Frank) Put me over.
(Charlie) Yeah, all right.

(Dennis) What?

(Charlie) Well, we're going
on the fence.

I mean, that's a shadow of a doubt.

You actually don't believe in
evolution anymore?

(Charlie) I don't know.
He created a reasonable doubt.

He makes you sound like a stupid,
uh, science bitch.

(Dee) Yeah, he got you good.

Oh my God.