1
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I'm finished, guys!
I'm finished.

2
00:00:02,786 --> 00:00:06,005
Now, this is all about making myself 
credible in your eyes again,

3
00:00:06,005 --> 00:00:09,502
and I'm gonna do that by admitting 
that evolution...

4
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is a lie!

5
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(off screen voice) God damn you, Mac!

6
00:00:13,700 --> 00:00:15,899
(Dennis) Yes, please do, Mac.

7
00:00:15,899 --> 00:00:18,299
Now, as you can see, 
this is the Evolution Meter.

8
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And I've put God, 
the creator of everything,

9
00:00:20,514 --> 00:00:23,194
on the right side, 
and evolution...

10
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on the left.

11
00:00:24,244 --> 00:00:26,110
I went ahead and put you
guys all on the fence,

12
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'cause of course you're gonna...

13
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(Dennis) Actually, no.
(Charlie) Let's start where I would start.

14
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(Mac) No matter.
I'm righteous.

15
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I'm not gonna stand here,

16
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present some egghead scientific 
argument based on fact.

17
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I'm just a regular dude.

18
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I like to drink beer.

19
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You know, 
I love my family.

20
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Rock, flag, and eagle, 
right, Charlie?

21
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He's got a point.

22
00:00:46,591 --> 00:00:47,658
(Dennis) No, he doesn't.
(Dee) What?

23
00:00:47,658 --> 00:00:48,945
(Mac) See, Charlie?

24
00:00:48,945 --> 00:00:51,561
These liberals are trying to 
assassinate my character.

25
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And I can't change their mind.

26
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I won't change my mind,
'cause I don't have to.

27
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'Cause I'm an American.

28
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I won't change my mind on anything,

29
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regardless of the facts that 
are set out before me.

30
00:01:02,466 --> 00:01:06,573
I'm dug in, 
and I'll never change.

31
00:01:07,249 --> 00:01:08,802
Mac, look. 
You're wasting our time.

32
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:11,742
You're not gonna get us to not 
believe in evolution.

33
00:01:12,188 --> 00:01:13,310
And why is that?

34
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Because the smartest scientists in
the entire world all agree that it's real.

35
00:01:18,553 --> 00:01:22,357
I'm glad you brought that up, 
because, Mr. Reynolds,

36
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(Mac) science is a liar sometimes.
(Dee) Oh boy.

37
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This... is Aristotle,

38
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thought to be the smartest 
man on the planet.

39
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He believed that the Earth was 
the center of the universe,

40
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and everybody believed him,
because he was so smart.

41
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Until another smartest guy came around, 


42
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Galileo,
and he disproved that theory,

43
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making Aristotle and everybody else
on Earth look like a

44
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bitch.

45
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'Course, Galileo then thought comets 
were an optical illusion,

46
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and there was no way that the moon 
could cause the ocean's tides.

47
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Everybody believed that because 
he was so smart.

48
00:02:03,787 --> 00:02:06,123
He was also wrong,

49
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making him and everyone else on 
Earth look like a bitch again.

50
00:02:10,923 --> 00:02:14,949
And then, best of all,
Sir Isaac Newton gets born,

51
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and blows everybody's nips off 
with his big brains.

52
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'Course, he also thought he 
could turn metal into gold,

53
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and died eating mercury,

54
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making him yet another stupid...

55
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bitch!

56
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Are you seeing a pattern?

57
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No.

58
00:02:30,803 --> 00:02:35,069
Mr. Reynolds, these were all the 
smartest scientists on the planet.

59
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Only problem is, 
they kept being wrong

60
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sometimes.

61
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This is insane, you fool.

62
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I'm a fool because I have more faith
in the saints that wrote the Bible?

63
00:02:46,421 --> 00:02:51,083
Yeah, because you just read the words
of a bunch of guys that you never met,

64
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and you just take it on faith that 
everything they wrote was true.

65
00:02:54,834 --> 00:02:56,925
Hmm. And what makes you think 
what your scientists

66
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are writing is any more truer 
than my saints?

67
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Because there are volumes 
of proven data,

68
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numbers, you know, 
figures.

69
00:03:04,821 --> 00:03:07,066
There  there are fossil records.

70
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Oh, fossil records. 
Ah!

71
00:03:08,692 --> 00:03:10,384
I didn't even think about the
fossil records.

72
00:03:10,384 --> 00:03:11,164
I guess I'll concede.

73
00:03:11,164 --> 00:03:13,600
Oh, wait, uh, one more thing before I do, 
Mr. Reynolds.

74
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Have you seen these fossil records?

75
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Have I seen... huh?

76
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Have you pored through
the data yourself?

77
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The numbers? 
The figures? 


78
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Well, no.
I'm no.

79
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Oh. Interesting.

80
00:03:27,807 --> 00:03:29,590
So let me get this straight, 
Mr. Reynolds.

81
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You get your information from a book 
written by men you've never met.

82
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And you take their 
words as truth,

83
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based on a willingness to believe,

84
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a desire to accept,
a leap of... humph

85
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dare I say it? 


86
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Faith?

87
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Come on, 
come on.

88
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Look, I mean, 
I don't even know how

89
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I'm supposed to respond to that, like.

90
00:03:51,242 --> 00:03:52,481
(Dennis) Oh come on.

91
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That is, 
that's a false equivalency.

92
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Just answer the question, 
Mr. Reynolds.

93
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Sure. 
Yeah, okay. 


94
00:04:03,455 --> 00:04:04,517
I rest my case.

95
00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:06,630
Well, that got me.

96
00:04:06,630 --> 00:04:08,432
Frank, do you want me to, uh...

97
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(Frank) Put me over.
(Charlie) Yeah, all right.

98
00:04:09,767 --> 00:04:10,510
(Dennis) What?

99
00:04:10,510 --> 00:04:11,445
(Charlie) Well, we're going 
on the fence.

100
00:04:11,445 --> 00:04:12,859
I mean, that's a shadow of a doubt.

101
00:04:12,859 --> 00:04:14,997
You actually don't believe in 
evolution anymore?

102
00:04:14,997 --> 00:04:17,366
(Charlie) I don't know. 
He created a reasonable doubt.

103
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He makes you sound like a stupid, 
uh, science bitch.

104
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(Dee) Yeah, he got you good.

105
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Oh my God.