The Cat In The Hat Full Movie
-
0:04 - 0:08Subrip By PrimeEvil
Fixed By Pacman -
1:13 - 1:16[Narrator]
*There are gajillions ofstories...* -
1:16 - 1:18*ofmischiefand fun,*
-
1:18 - 1:20*but to keep things simple,*
-
1:20 - 1:23*let's start withjust one...*
-
1:23 - 1:25*about a mom and two kids...*
-
1:26 - 1:28*and a house and a hat...*
-
1:28 - 1:30*that, oddly enough,*
-
1:30 - 1:32*was worn by a cat.*
-
1:32 - 1:36*But soon enough*
*we will get to all that.* -
1:36 - 1:40*In the valley that stretches*
*from this hill to that hill,* -
1:40 - 1:42*a city is nestled...*
-
1:42 - 1:46*that city is Anville.*
-
1:46 - 1:48- [Kid] Hurry up!
We'll miss the movie!
- Any more tutti-frutti? -
1:48 - 1:49I'll check.
Thanks! -
1:49 - 1:53[NarratorContinues]
*It's a town that's not huge,*
*but quite big enough...* -
1:53 - 1:56*for buyers and sellers*
*to sell and buy stuff,* -
1:57 - 1:59*from shoes and shirts...*
-
1:59 - 2:02*and elongated ladders...*
-
2:02 - 2:06*to sailboats and gibble-grated*
*berry-juice bladders.* -
2:06 - 2:07[Horn Honks]
-
2:08 - 2:13*So ourstory begins*
*at the corner*
*ofMain and Montroob...* -
2:13 - 2:15*in the spotless*
*real estate offiice...* -
2:16 - 2:19*run by Hank Humberfloob.*
-
2:20 - 2:23[Woman]
*Humberfloob Real Estate. How can*
*we make yourdreams come true?* -
2:23 - 2:25*[People Chattering]*
-
2:30 - 2:31What do you mean,
you're leaving? -
2:31 - 2:34You're a babysitter.
Babysitters don't leave. They sit. -
2:35 - 2:38Baby-leavers leave.
I'm sorry. I really
gotta go, Miss Walden. -
2:38 - 2:40Well, I need to come home
right away. -
2:41 - 2:43All right.
Thank you, Amy.
Sorry. -
2:43 - 2:45[Sighs]
-
2:47 - 2:50Attention, everyone!
It's 9:02. -
2:50 - 2:52Staff meeting!
Staff meeting! -
2:52 - 2:55[All Gasping, Murmuring]
*Look alive, everyone.!* -
2:55 - 2:57First I'd like to
welcome aboard... -
2:57 - 3:00our newest member
of the Humberfloob family, -
3:01 - 3:03Jim McFlinnagan!
-
3:03 - 3:05- Mr. Humberfloob,
I wanted to thank you...
- [All Gasping] -
3:05 - 3:07Fired.
I beg your pardon? -
3:07 - 3:09Fired.
B-But l... -
3:09 - 3:14Fired!
-
3:16 - 3:20One, two, three,
four, fiive, six, seven,
eight, nine, 10! -
3:22 - 3:26As you know, tonight is
our bimonthly"meet and greet" party. -
3:26 - 3:30Tonight's host is...
Joan Walden. -
3:30 - 3:34This is where people can
meet our real estate agents... -
3:34 - 3:38in an informal,
yet hygienic setting. -
3:38 - 3:41Mr. Humberfloob,
I have to get home to my kids. -
3:42 - 3:44Ah, yes.
-
3:46 - 3:48Your children.
-
3:48 - 3:52Joan, let me make this
perfectly clear. -
3:52 - 3:57If your house
is as messy as last time, -
3:57 - 4:00you're fiired!
-
4:00 - 4:02*[Employees Gasping,*
Murmuring] -
4:02 - 4:06That's pretty clear,
Mr. Humberfloob. -
4:06 - 4:08Don't worry. I promise.
-
4:08 - 4:10My kids'll be
on their best behavior. -
4:11 - 4:13Great.
-
4:15 - 4:17*[Phone Rings]*
[Woman]
*Humberfloob Real Estate.* -
4:17 - 4:20*How can we make*
*yourdreams come true?*
*Please hold.* -
4:20 - 4:24[Narrator]
*Lfyou leave Humberfloob's*
*and turn left onto Main,* -
4:24 - 4:29*three miles down*
*you'll fiind Lipplapper Lane,* -
4:29 - 4:32*a pleasant-enough street*
*in a pleasant-enough way...* -
4:32 - 4:37*where a neighbor greeted neighbor*
*with a neighborly"Hey.!"* -
4:37 - 4:38Hey!
Hey! -
4:38 - 4:43*Here the hedges were hedged,*
*the weeds were all weeded,* -
4:43 - 4:45*and lawns were mowed daily,*
-
4:45 - 4:48*twice daily ifneeded.*
-
4:48 - 4:51*And at the end*
*ofthis street,* -
4:51 - 4:53*in a house like any other,*
-
4:53 - 4:55*something magical*
*would happen...* -
4:55 - 4:58*to a sisterand her brother.*
-
4:59 - 5:00[Barking]
-
5:08 - 5:10[Barks]
Shh! Nevins!
Stealth mode. -
5:10 - 5:12Today's to-do list.
-
5:12 - 5:15Number one:
Make to-do list. -
5:15 - 5:17Number two:
Practice coloring. -
5:17 - 5:20Number three:
Research graduate schools. -
5:20 - 5:23Number four:
Be spontaneous. -
5:23 - 5:26Number fiive:
Create lasting
childhood memories. -
5:26 - 5:30*And numbersix:*
*Amend will.* -
5:31 - 5:33What is he doing?
-
5:39 - 5:41[Sighs]
-
5:45 - 5:46[Whines]
-
5:49 - 5:50[Beeps]
-
5:51 - 5:54Number 10:
Make tomorrow's to-do list. -
5:58 - 6:00Ladies and gentlemen!
*[Nevins Barking]* -
6:00 - 6:02Nevins,
your attention, please. -
6:02 - 6:05You are about to witness
the third most spectacular stunt... -
6:05 - 6:08ever performed
under this roof! -
6:08 - 6:12Do you know how hard it's getting
to tell people that we're related? -
6:12 - 6:15Relax.
I'll put everything back. -
6:19 - 6:21[Whining]
-
6:24 - 6:28And now,
for the indoor stair luge! -
6:28 - 6:30Indoor stair luge?
-
6:30 - 6:32I'll have to add this one
to my list. -
6:32 - 6:35Go have no fun
somewhere else. -
6:35 - 6:38*It... is... showtime.!*
-
6:39 - 6:41- [Whimpers]
- [Grunts] -
6:41 - 6:44Whoa.!
-
6:44 - 6:46[Yelling]
-
6:46 - 6:49- Aah!
- Yeah! -
6:49 - 6:50[Groans]
-
6:50 - 6:53*- [Woman] Oh, my word.!*
- [Nevins Barking] -
6:53 - 6:55Nevins!
-
6:55 - 6:58*Nevins, come back.!*
-
7:00 - 7:02Hey, Mom. What's up?
-
7:06 - 7:08You are so lucky
you didn't ruin this dress. -
7:08 - 7:11Mom, I know
you're angry, -
7:11 - 7:13but there's something
you need to know. -
7:13 - 7:16This was all Sally's fault.
Oh, really? -
7:16 - 7:18And how, exactly,
was it Sally's fault? -
7:18 - 7:20Give me a minute.
I'm workin' on it. -
7:20 - 7:23Save it, Conrad.
-
7:23 - 7:26Why today? Why did you
have to pick today
to destroy the house? -
7:26 - 7:28You know
what's happening today. -
7:28 - 7:30I tried to tell him, Mom.
-
7:30 - 7:32"Mom's throwing
a very important party," I said. -
7:33 - 7:34"All ofher important
clients will be here." -
7:35 - 7:38But he went right ahead
and wrecked the house
and let Nevins get away. -
7:38 - 7:41Now, again, I hope
you're going to ground him. -
7:41 - 7:44Yes, Sally, for a week, but
that's none of your business. -
7:44 - 7:46Aweek?
Come on. Two days. -
7:46 - 7:48I asked you to do
one thing today, Conrad... -
7:48 - 7:50keep the house
clean. -
7:50 - 7:55Do you know how frustrating it is
that you're always doing
the exact opposite of what I say? -
7:56 - 7:58*Knock, knock, knock.*
-
7:58 - 8:00[Growling]
Someone lose a dog? -
8:00 - 8:02*I found him next door...*
-
8:02 - 8:04in my yard... again.
-
8:04 - 8:06You are a saint.
-
8:06 - 8:09And here I thought
you were only dating me
for my good looks. -
8:09 - 8:12Lucky us.
Larry Quinn is here. -
8:12 - 8:15*Hey-a, sport.*
*Call me Lawrence.*
Okay? -
8:15 - 8:18You rescued Nevins!
Thanks, Lawrence! -
8:18 - 8:21It was my pleasure, Sally.
Anything for my little princess. -
8:21 - 8:23Oh, I don't wanna be a princess.
-
8:23 - 8:26In a constitutional monarchy
parliament has all the real power. -
8:28 - 8:30I see.
Okay, that's great. -
8:30 - 8:32Uh, look, pal, be a sport.
-
8:32 - 8:36Why don't you go
tidy up the living room.
Okay...dude? -
8:36 - 8:38I don't have to listen to you, Larry.
-
8:38 - 8:40Conrad,
do what Lawrence says. -
8:53 - 8:57Have you given some thought
about the Wilhelm Academy? -
8:57 - 9:00You mean the Colonel Wilhelm
Military Academy forTroubled Youth? -
9:01 - 9:03That's the one, Joan.
-
9:03 - 9:06I'm not sure
it's right for Conrad. -
9:06 - 9:10Oh, Joan, Joan.
-
9:10 - 9:12Joan, Joan, Joan.
-
9:14 - 9:16I have so much respect
foryou, Joan. -
9:16 - 9:20Single mother, careerwoman,
raising two children on your own, -
9:20 - 9:24and still fiinding time
to be the best darned
real estate agent in town. -
9:26 - 9:29I know how hard it is, Joan.
-
9:29 - 9:32It is hard.
Oh... I know. -
9:33 - 9:36*And I know*
*how hard you're trying.* -
9:37 - 9:40This is a once-in-a-lifetime
proposition,
and you must act now. -
9:40 - 9:43The Colonel Wilhelm
Military Academy
forTroubled Youth... -
9:43 - 9:46is what we call in the sales game
a win-win scenario. -
9:46 - 9:51A top-flight military school,
and it's only... eight hours away. -
9:53 - 9:56*[Phone Rings]*
Oh, the phone. -
9:57 - 10:00*[Phone Rings]*
-
10:04 - 10:06I heard what you said.
-
10:06 - 10:08I'm not going to military school, Larry.
-
10:08 - 10:11Look, buddy,
-
10:11 - 10:14I know I'm not your dad...
-
10:14 - 10:17and this is probably
really strange foryou... -
10:17 - 10:19your neighbor's
dating your mom. -
10:19 - 10:22But here's the thing, son.
Come here. -
10:22 - 10:25I don't like you either.
-
10:25 - 10:28But I'm gonna
marry your mom. -
10:28 - 10:32And if it was up to me,
you'd be at military school today. -
10:32 - 10:34I'm not going
to military school.
Ohh! -
10:34 - 10:36I think you're gonna love it.
-
10:36 - 10:38It's just like summer camp,
-
10:38 - 10:40except with brutal forced marches...
-
10:40 - 10:42and soul-crushing discipline.
-
10:42 - 10:47And one more thing...
It's Lawrence,
you snot-nosed son of a... -
10:47 - 10:50wonderful woman
who I'm absolutely crazy about!
[Grunting] Oww! -
10:50 - 10:52Gosh, I love children!
-
10:52 - 10:54Oh, Joan,
I didn't see you there. -
10:54 - 10:57Would you be a doll
and help me bring up chairs
from the basement? -
10:57 - 11:00Nothing would give me
more pleasure, Joan,
but I do have to run. -
11:00 - 11:02I have a very important
sales conference downtown. -
11:02 - 11:05Oh. Okay.
-
11:05 - 11:08- Well, I'll see you at the party tonight.
- Sure. -
11:30 - 11:33Mom, that guy's a total phony.
You can't let Larry... -
11:33 - 11:36It's Lawrence, Conrad.
*[Doorbell Rings]* -
11:37 - 11:39Kate's Catering.
I'm here to do your party tonight. -
11:40 - 11:42Oh, hi.
Where's Kate? -
11:42 - 11:45I'm Kate.
Oh. Okay. -
11:45 - 11:47Right this way, Kate.
-
11:47 - 11:49Mom, you've gotta
listen to me...
*[Phone Ringing]* -
11:49 - 11:52Quiet!
Two weeks ago
you said you would... -
11:52 - 11:54[Joan Screams]
I "specialed" it.
See? -
11:54 - 11:57Quiet!
Nevins! -
11:57 - 11:59[Ringing Continues]
I said quiet! -
12:01 - 12:03[Ringing]
-
12:03 - 12:07Joan Walden Real Estate.
Be it ever so humble,
there's no place likeJoan. -
12:07 - 12:09This is Mr. Humberfloob.
-
12:09 - 12:13- Oh, hi, Mr. Humberfloob.
- Joan, I need you to come back to the offiice. -
12:13 - 12:15- Today?
*- Yes, Joan.* -
12:16 - 12:18- No problem?
- No problem at all. -
12:18 - 12:20Great!
-
12:20 - 12:23- [Gasps]
- What's going on, Mommy? -
12:23 - 12:26Mommy has to go
back to the offiice. -
12:27 - 12:29Oh! I hope Mrs. Kwan
can babysit. -
12:29 - 12:32- Not Mrs. Kwan!
*- [Doorbell Rings]* -
12:34 - 12:36Oh!
Hi, Mrs. Kwan. -
12:36 - 12:38Hi.
I'm running late. -
12:38 - 12:41Thanks for babysitting
on such short notice.
Mmm, yeah. -
12:41 - 12:43Okay, Mrs. Kwan.
-
12:43 - 12:45Oh-oh-oh!
-
12:45 - 12:48I'll be back
in a couple ofhours.
Hi. -
12:48 - 12:50*Conrad's grounded,*
*so no video games.* -
12:50 - 12:52Sally?
*Last chance.* -
12:52 - 12:56If you wanna make cupcakes,
I can take you to
your friend Ginny's house. -
12:56 - 12:58- [Growling]
*- Ginny's not my friend anymore.* -
12:58 - 13:00*Last time we made cupcakes*
*she wanted to be the head chef.* -
13:00 - 13:02I'm the head chef.
-
13:02 - 13:04What about Denise, then?
-
13:04 - 13:07She talked back to me,
so I ordered her
not to speak to me anymore. -
13:07 - 13:10- And you don't like bossy?
- I won't tolerate it. -
13:10 - 13:12Right.
-
13:12 - 13:15Well, if you're both staying,
remember the rules. -
13:15 - 13:18Conrad: No playing ball
in the house, no fiighting, -
13:18 - 13:20no answering the phone,
"City morgue." -
13:20 - 13:22Mommy,
can't I have some rules? -
13:24 - 13:26No chewing tobacco.
-
13:26 - 13:28Thanks, Mom.
You have my word. -
13:28 - 13:33And absolutely no one
sets foot in the living room, or else. -
13:33 - 13:37*Orelse what?*
*You're gonna do what Larry said*
*and send me to military school?* -
13:37 - 13:40Maybe if you'd just behave,
I wouldn't have to consider military school. -
13:40 - 13:42I wish I could trust you.
-
13:44 - 13:46I wish I had a different mom.
-
13:46 - 13:50Well, sometimes
I wish the same thing. -
13:50 - 13:52[DoorOpens]
-
13:54 - 13:56[DoorSlams]
-
14:06 - 14:07Mmm.
-
14:13 - 14:15Good luck with your meeting.
-
14:25 - 14:26*[Car DoorCloses]*
-
14:30 - 14:33[Grunting]
-
14:38 - 14:42*Children, would you like*
*to watch television with me?* -
14:42 - 14:46- We don't have to tell your mother.
*- [TV: Channel Changing]* -
14:46 - 14:50- [Speaking Chinese]
- [Yelling] -
14:54 - 14:57[Together]
Taiwanese parliament.
*[TV: Yelling, Blows Landing]* -
14:57 - 15:01You tell them, Kwi-Chang!
No more big government!
*[TV: Karate Yells]* -
15:01 - 15:02*Rip his heart out.!*
-
15:03 - 15:06*[TV: Blows Landing,*
*Yelling Continue]* -
15:10 - 15:12[Snoring]
-
15:12 - 15:14[Whimpers]
-
15:16 - 15:18Hit me!
[Sighs] -
15:20 - 15:22[Narrator]
*So they slumped in theirchairs,* -
15:22 - 15:25*too glum to complain,*
-
15:25 - 15:28*and to make matters worse,*
*it started to rain.* -
15:28 - 15:30[Butterfly Yelps]
-
15:32 - 15:34*They sat in the house...*
-
15:34 - 15:36*on that cold, cold, wet day...*
-
15:36 - 15:38*with no fun to have...*
-
15:38 - 15:40*and no games to play.*
-
15:40 - 15:42*They couldjust*
*stare out the window...* -
15:42 - 15:44*or perhaps get a nap in,*
-
15:45 - 15:47*and hope that something,*
-
15:47 - 15:49anything *might happen.*
-
15:49 - 15:50Quit bothering
the fiish. -
15:51 - 15:53I know.
Quit bothering the fiish. -
15:53 - 15:54Spit hand!
Oh, gross! -
15:55 - 15:59Get that away from me!
Get it away! -
15:59 - 16:02*[Loud Bump]*
[Narrator]
*Then something went bump.* -
16:02 - 16:04- What was that?
- [Barks] -
16:04 - 16:07*How that bump*
*made themjump.*
*[Nevins Continues Barking]* -
16:07 - 16:10*[Loud Bumping Continues]*
I think it came
from the closet. -
16:14 - 16:16*[Loud Crash]*
-
16:39 - 16:41[Grunts]
-
16:42 - 16:44Conrad?
-
16:44 - 16:46Conrad.
-
16:47 - 16:50Come on, Conrad.
-
16:50 - 16:52[Screams]
-
16:52 - 16:54[Laughing]
-
16:55 - 16:57You shouldn't scare people.
-
16:57 - 17:00You should've seen
the look on your face.
It was like you saw a monster... -
17:00 - 17:03A monster? Where?
-
17:05 - 17:08That could've gone better.
[Wheezing Laugh] -
17:08 - 17:11[Both Screaming]
-
17:14 - 17:16[Sally]
*What was that?*
*[Conrad] I don't know.* -
17:16 - 17:18*Looked like*
*a humongous cat.* -
17:19 - 17:20"Humongous"?
-
17:20 - 17:24I prefer the term "big-boned" or"jolly."
Now, what are we hiding from? -
17:24 - 17:26[Chortling]
-
17:26 - 17:28[Both Screaming]
-
17:33 - 17:35Thatwas a giant cat.
-
17:35 - 17:37But that's impossible,
isn't it? -
17:37 - 17:39It's entirely
impossible. -
17:39 - 17:41You know,
I like this hiding place
a lot better. -
17:42 - 17:44They'll never
fiind us here. -
17:45 - 17:47Scream and run.
-
17:47 - 17:50[Both Screaming]
And there they go. -
17:53 - 17:54Who are you?
-
17:54 - 17:56Who? Me?
-
17:57 - 18:01Why, I'm the Cat in the Hat.
There's no doubt about that. -
18:01 - 18:03I'm a "super-fun-diferous" feline...
-
18:03 - 18:06who's here to make sure
that you're... -
18:08 - 18:12Meeline? Key lime?
-
18:12 - 18:15Turpentine?
-
18:15 - 18:17I got nothin'.
-
18:17 - 18:20I'm not so good with the rhyming.
Not really, no. -
18:22 - 18:24Look, I'm a cat
that can talk. -
18:24 - 18:27That should be enough
foryou people!
[Muttering] -
18:28 - 18:30*I can talk.!*
*I'm a cat.! Yes.!*
[Chortling] -
18:30 - 18:32Where did you come from?
-
18:34 - 18:36Hmm, how do I put this?
-
18:36 - 18:40When a mommy cat and a daddy cat
love each othervery much, -
18:40 - 18:42they decide that...
-
18:42 - 18:46Oh, no, no, no, no.
Where did you come from? -
18:46 - 18:49My place!
Where do you think?
[Snickering] -
18:50 - 18:52No, how did you get here?
-
18:52 - 18:54I drove!
-
18:54 - 18:58Look, I've been here two whole minutes,
and no one has offered me a drink. -
18:58 - 18:59Harumph!
-
18:59 - 19:04- Sorry, Mr. Cat.
Would you like some milk?
- Milk? Ecch! No! -
19:04 - 19:08Lactose intolerant.
Gums up the works. Oy. -
19:08 - 19:10You'll thank me later.
-
19:10 - 19:13[Wheezing, Chortling]
-
19:13 - 19:15*- [Singer Laughing]*
Wipeout.!
- Hello! -
19:15 - 19:19@¤@¤[SurfRock]
Surf s up!
[Chuckles] Yeah! -
19:19 - 19:23Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Yee-hee-hee! -
19:26 - 19:28Nice spread you got here.
-
19:29 - 19:31Homina-homina-homina-homina!
-
19:31 - 19:33Who is this?
-
19:35 - 19:37Ohh!
-
19:38 - 19:40That's my mom.
-
19:40 - 19:41Awkward, yeah.
-
19:41 - 19:45Yes, this place will do
quite nicely, actually. Yeah. -
19:45 - 19:48Although those drapes
are a train wreck. -
19:48 - 19:50[Chortling]
-
19:50 - 19:53[Snoring]
And this is the lumpiest couch
I ever sat on. -
19:53 - 19:56Who is this dreadfully
uncomfortable woman? -
19:56 - 19:59*Get offher.*
*That's our babysitter.* -
19:59 - 20:01What the... Babysitter?
-
20:01 - 20:04You don't need one of those,
do ya? -
20:09 - 20:11*Let me get this straight.*
-
20:11 - 20:13You pay this woman...
-
20:13 - 20:15to sit on babies?
-
20:15 - 20:17That's disgusting!
-
20:19 - 20:22I'd do it for nothing!
[Laughing Loudly] -
20:22 - 20:24Hmm!
-
20:25 - 20:29Now, let's see
what the old "phunometer"
has to say. -
20:30 - 20:32- "Phunometer"?
- Yeah. It measures
how fun you are. -
20:32 - 20:34[Chortling]
-
20:39 - 20:41Hi.
-
20:42 - 20:44[Bell Dings]
Huh? -
20:46 - 20:48Ohh.
-
20:51 - 20:54*Ah. Control freak.*
Yeah. -
20:54 - 20:56Now you.
-
20:58 - 21:00[Whispers]
Hi. How are ya? -
21:00 - 21:02- [Bell Dings]
- Whoa! -
21:05 - 21:08[Whimpering]
-
21:08 - 21:10Oh.
-
21:10 - 21:12Tap it.
-
21:13 - 21:15Listen, kid,
you can tap it with a hammer, -
21:16 - 21:17it ain't gonna change.
-
21:19 - 21:20Just as I suspected.
-
21:20 - 21:24You guys are both out of whack.
You're a control freak,
and you're a rule-breaker. -
21:24 - 21:28That'll be $700.
Who's your insurance carrier? -
21:28 - 21:31- So, what do we do?
- Well, there are two treatments
I'd recommend. -
21:31 - 21:35One is a series of painful shots
injected into your abdomen and kneecap. -
21:35 - 21:37*And the other...*
-
21:37 - 21:40involves a musical number!
-
21:40 - 21:42@¤@¤[Orchestra:Fanfare]
@ Me-Me-Me-Meow @ -
21:42 - 21:44How many shots?
-
21:44 - 21:48[Wheezing]
"How many shots?"
Aren't you precious? -
21:48 - 21:51[Gasps]
-
21:59 - 22:02Maestro!
@¤@¤[Orchestra:Introduction] -
22:03 - 22:05@ I know it is wet @
-
22:06 - 22:08@ And the sun is not sunny @
[Thunderclap] -
22:09 - 22:13@ But we can have lots of
good fun that is funny @ -
22:13 - 22:15[Both Groan]
-
22:15 - 22:16@ It's fun to have fun @
-
22:16 - 22:22@ But you got to know how @
-
22:22 - 22:24[Gagging]
-
22:24 - 22:26- [Vomits, Liquid Splatters]
- [Both Gasp, Groan] -
22:27 - 22:28Hair ball.
-
22:30 - 22:35@ I know lots of good tricks
and I'll... @ -
22:35 - 22:36*Stop this right now.!*
Huh? -
22:36 - 22:39- Who said that?
- Me! -
22:39 - 22:40Remember? The fiish?
-
22:40 - 22:44Came home in a Baggie,
loved me for two weeks, and then nothing! -
22:44 - 22:46- The fiish is talking!
- Well, sure, he can talk. -
22:46 - 22:50But is he saying anything?
No, not really. No. -
22:50 - 22:52[Fish]
*Hey, Socks, can it.!* -
22:52 - 22:54This cat should not be here.
He should not be about. -
22:54 - 22:55He should not be here
when your mother is out. -
22:56 - 22:59Come on, kids!
You gonna listen to him?
He drinks where he pees! -
23:02 - 23:06@¤@¤[Salsa]
-
23:08 - 23:11@There was this cat I knew
back home where I was bred @ -
23:11 - 23:14@ He never listened to
a single thing his mother said @ -
23:14 - 23:16*@¤He never used the litter box*
*He made a mess in the hall @¤* -
23:16 - 23:18@That's why they sent him
to a vet @ -
23:18 - 23:20@To cut offboth his ba... @
-
23:20 - 23:22ba... ba...
-
23:23 - 23:26@ Boy, that wasn't
fun, fun, fun @ -
23:26 - 23:30@ He never learns
You can have fun, fun, fun @
But less is more! -
23:30 - 23:33@They may ship you off to school
so rein it in a little @ -
23:33 - 23:35@ We can't spell "fun"
without "U" in the middle @ -
23:35 - 23:40*Human, this cat is currently in violation*
*of... 17 ofyour mother's rules.!* -
23:40 - 23:41[Rings]
City morgue! -
23:41 - 23:43- Eighteen!
- [Laughing] -
23:44 - 23:48*[Crowd Cheering,*
Applauding] -
23:50 - 23:52- Olé!
*- [Bull Growling]* -
23:52 - 23:53Ooh!
-
23:53 - 23:56[Screaming]
-
24:00 - 24:02@ You can juggle work and play
but you have to know the way @ -
24:03 - 24:05@ You can keep afloat a wish
like the way I do this fiish @ -
24:06 - 24:08*@¤ You can be a happy fella*
*Someone throw me that umbrella @¤* -
24:08 - 24:11@ And that rake, that cake
Life's what you make it @ -
24:11 - 24:13@ So have fun, fun, fun @
-
24:13 - 24:16@ Go insane and have
some fun, fun, fun @ -
24:16 - 24:18@Just look at me
Fun, fun, fun @ -
24:18 - 24:21@ No more rain
Look, it's the sun, sun, sun @ -
24:21 - 24:25@ So can't you see
I'm as happy as a clam
I'm as fiit as a fiiddle @ -
24:25 - 24:27@ Yeah, the dogs
may bark about you @ -
24:27 - 24:29@ And the purebred chaps
may doubt you @ -
24:29 - 24:31[Fish]
*Getting motion sickness.!* -
24:31 - 24:33Milk? Big mistake.
-
24:34 - 24:36@ But remember this
You can't have fun without "U" @ -
24:36 - 24:38I can't breathe!
Ohh! -
24:38 - 24:41Whoa!
-
24:41 - 24:44I knew that milk would
come back to haunt me.
Help! Help! -
24:44 - 24:48- [Loud Burp]
- [Groaning] -
24:49 - 24:52[Yelling]
-
24:52 - 24:54[Grunting]
-
24:54 - 25:00@"U" in the middle @@
-
25:00 - 25:02[Gulps]
-
25:02 - 25:04[Panting, Chuckling]
-
25:04 - 25:06- Bravo, Cat.
- Huh? -
25:06 - 25:09These children are smart enough
not to fall foryour MTV-style flash... -
25:10 - 25:12at the expense of content
and moral values. -
25:12 - 25:14That was wicked cool!
Do it again! -
25:14 - 25:18I'd love to, but Shamu is right...
I really should be going. -
25:18 - 25:21- No, don't go!
- No, I should go. -
25:21 - 25:24I should let you and the fiish
have all your fun conjugating verbs, -
25:24 - 25:26cleaning your room,
doing long division. -
25:26 - 25:29No, you have to stay!
-
25:29 - 25:31All right, I'll stay.
Oh, yeah!
*[Conrad] Yeah.!* -
25:31 - 25:34But if I'm gonna stay,
there's something I wanna show you. -
25:35 - 25:37Something magical...
-
25:37 - 25:40and full of wonder.
-
25:41 - 25:45- It's called a contract.
- You want us to sign this? -
25:45 - 25:48- Just a formality, really. Yeah.
- Who are they? -
25:50 - 25:53Magical time-traveling elves.
-
25:53 - 25:56[Chortling]
Yeah. Magic. -
25:59 - 26:01Okay, they're my lawyers.
-
26:01 - 26:04Liability issues, litigious society,
frivolous lawsuits. -
26:04 - 26:05You understand.
-
26:05 - 26:08Basically, this contract guarantees
you can have all the fun you want... -
26:09 - 26:11and nothing bad's
ever gonna happen. -
26:11 - 26:13- All the fun we want?
- Uh-yeah! -
26:13 - 26:15- Nothing bad will happen?
- Uh-no! -
26:16 - 26:20Come on, Sal,
for once in your life
try something spontaneous. -
26:22 - 26:26It goes against
my better instincts, but... -
26:26 - 26:28fiine.
-
26:28 - 26:30Beautiful.
Initial here. -
26:30 - 26:32And here. And here.
-
26:32 - 26:34Not here!
-
26:34 - 26:36[Wheezes]
-
26:36 - 26:38Turn it over.
-
26:38 - 26:40This is nothing.
-
26:40 - 26:42[Clears Throat]
Scratch this. -
26:42 - 26:44Smell that!
Terrifiic. -
26:44 - 26:46Yadee-yadee-yadee.
-
26:46 - 26:49Sign the bottom.
*[Pencil Scratching On Paper]* -
26:49 - 26:51You're it!
Okay, gimme fiive! -
26:54 - 26:56Four.
-
26:56 - 26:58[Chortling]
-
26:58 - 27:00Let's get this party
started! Uh-huh! -
27:01 - 27:04Hey, check out this room!
[Laughing] -
27:04 - 27:06What now?
-
27:06 - 27:09Mom says we're not
allowed in the living room
today, or else. -
27:09 - 27:12*She's worried we'll mess up the couches*
*byjumpin'on 'em orsomethin;* -
27:12 - 27:16And she's right.
You can't jump on these. -
27:16 - 27:20Not like this.
They need some adjustment.
Yee-haw! -
27:20 - 27:22[Chuckling]
-
27:22 - 27:25Let's take a look
under the hood. -
27:25 - 27:28[Spits] Yeah.
[Chuckles] -
27:28 - 27:31Just doin' my job.
[Fart] -
27:31 - 27:33Sorry.
What have we got here? -
27:33 - 27:35Whew.
-
27:36 - 27:38Here we go.
[Chortles] -
27:39 - 27:42It's oversized.
That's unusual. -
27:42 - 27:44Here it is.
[Grunts] -
27:44 - 27:45[Elephant Trumpets]
-
27:45 - 27:49Down, Simba!
Down, Simba!
Get outta here! -
27:50 - 27:53Spray me, would ya?
You... -
27:53 - 27:55[Whimpering]
[Trumpeting Continues] -
27:55 - 27:58[Choking]
-
28:00 - 28:02*[Blows Landing]*
*[Elephant Whimpering]* -
28:03 - 28:05[Panting]
-
28:05 - 28:09*- [Elephant Trumpets]*
- Thanks for the help. -
28:10 - 28:13Back in a second.
Who's your couch mechanic? -
28:14 - 28:16You oughta call
Mr. Catwrench. -
28:16 - 28:19*[Grinding, Rumbling]*
Oww! My fur!
My fur! My fur! -
28:19 - 28:22[Groaning, Shouting]
-
28:24 - 28:28That oughta do it.
Whoo! -
28:29 - 28:31[Chortling]
-
28:35 - 28:37[Laughing]
-
28:41 - 28:44Come on, kids.
I could use a little company. -
28:44 - 28:46What about Mom's party?
-
28:46 - 28:48What about it?
We signed the contract. -
28:48 - 28:51Wha-hoo!
[Laughing] Yeah! -
28:52 - 28:54One cushion left,
Sally. -
28:54 - 28:57She'll never do it.
She doesn't know
how to have fun. -
28:57 - 29:02*Fun? Sally,*
*you're betterthan fun.*
*Fun is beneath you.* -
29:02 - 29:03Remember
what your mother told you... -
29:03 - 29:06No one sets foot
in the living room...
*[Conrad Shouting]* -
29:06 - 29:09You know what?
Let's just watch some flashbacks. -
29:09 - 29:14[Voice Slowed Down]
Absolutely no one sets foot
in the living room, or else. -
29:14 - 29:17You're fiired... fiired... fiired...
-
29:17 - 29:20fiired... fiired... fiired...
-
29:20 - 29:24[Takes Deep Breath]
Fiired... fiired... fiired... fiired... -
29:24 - 29:27And that's why...
[Groans] -
29:27 - 29:28Oww!
-
29:30 - 29:32*This is where*
*they buried my brother.!* -
29:32 - 29:34*[Cat Laughing]*
[Conrad]
Yeah.! -
29:34 - 29:37[All Laughing]
Yippee!
Oh, yeah! -
29:37 - 29:40This is amazing!
Like being
in the circus! -
29:40 - 29:42Yeah, but without
those tortured animals... -
29:42 - 29:45or drunken clowns
that have hepatitis. -
29:45 - 29:47See, kids, I told you
we could have fun! -
29:47 - 29:51*[Laughing Continues]*
*[Conrad] The best thing is,*
*no one will ever...* -
29:52 - 29:54know.
-
29:54 - 29:57Judas Priest!
I can't believe what I'm seeing! -
29:57 - 30:02Oh, Mr. Quinn,
I was just telling Conrad
to get off the couch. -
30:02 - 30:04Bad, Conrad!
Bad! -
30:04 - 30:06Sally,
-
30:06 - 30:08baby, angel, princess,
-
30:09 - 30:13I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret, okay? -
30:13 - 30:15Nobody likes a suck-up!
-
30:18 - 30:20[Quinn Laughing]
-
30:26 - 30:28Where's the cat?
I don't know. -
30:32 - 30:35[Burps]
Ohh! -
30:35 - 30:37Good bread.
-
30:38 - 30:41What are you two
lookin' at? -
30:47 - 30:49[Sneezing]
-
30:50 - 30:51Is there a cat in here?
-
30:52 - 30:54[Sneezing Continues]
-
30:54 - 30:56I'm gonna...
You're gonna... -
30:56 - 30:59I have to...
[Sneezes] -
31:00 - 31:02[Sneezes]
Get out ofhere. -
31:02 - 31:04[Sneezes Twice]
-
31:04 - 31:06[Both Laughing]
-
31:08 - 31:11See, kids, I told you.
Stick with me, it'll all work out. -
31:11 - 31:15[Sneezes]
Oh, no! Ohh!
[Chortling] -
31:15 - 31:19Little-known fact...
cats always land on their tushy. -
31:19 - 31:22- I thought they always
landed on their feet.
- Oh, sure, now you tell me. -
31:22 - 31:23Harumph!
[Chortling] -
31:24 - 31:28- So, kiddo, what do you
want to do for fun?
- I wanna make cupcakes! -
31:28 - 31:31Cupcakes? Oh, yeah!
[Chortling]
To the kitchen! -
31:31 - 31:33[Announcer]
*Live from the kitchen,* -
31:33 - 31:36*the following is*
*a paid commercial announcement*
*forAstounding Products.* -
31:36 - 31:38Hi! Welcome to
*Astounding Products.* -
31:38 - 31:41[Laughing]
-
31:41 - 31:44I'm your host,
the guy in the sweaterwho asks
all the obvious questions. -
31:44 - 31:46*[Studio Audience*
Laughing] -
31:46 - 31:50Now, here to tell us
about his astounding product
for making cupcakes, -
31:50 - 31:53all the way
from Cheshire, England,
please welcome... -
31:54 - 31:56Me! Hello!
[Chuckling] -
31:56 - 32:00Now... Hello!
I'm so excited! -
32:00 - 32:02Do you love
making cupcakes, -
32:02 - 32:04but hate all
the hard cupcake work? -
32:04 - 32:06I know I do!
-
32:06 - 32:10Well, forget
everything you know
about making cupcakes... -
32:10 - 32:12and say hello...
-
32:13 - 32:15to the amazing Kupkake-inator.
-
32:15 - 32:18- I'm so excited!
*- [Audience Chuckling]* -
32:18 - 32:20Cupcake-a-what?
-
32:20 - 32:22[Cat, Audience]
Kupkake-inator! -
32:22 - 32:26Oh, this amazing device
can instantly make cupcakes... -
32:26 - 32:28out of anything that
you have in the kitchen. -
32:28 - 32:31- Wait a minute.
Did you say"anything"?
- Anything. -
32:31 - 32:33Anything?
Yes, anything. -
32:33 - 32:36Anything?
Anything. -
32:36 - 32:39- Anything?
- I'll get you, and it'll look
like a bloody accident. -
32:39 - 32:41*- [Audience Tittering]*
- Anything. -
32:41 - 32:44Now, take off the lid.
You can put in, I don't know,
a carton of eggs. -
32:44 - 32:47What?
How about
a pack ofhot dogs? -
32:47 - 32:49That's incredible!
Why not some ketchup? -
32:49 - 32:51Yeah, why not?
How about...
I know what you're thinkin'. -
32:51 - 32:54Even a fiire extinguisher.
There we go. -
32:54 - 32:56Hmm?
-
32:56 - 32:58Now, close the lid
and Bob's your flippin' uncle! -
32:59 - 33:00What an
astounding product! -
33:00 - 33:02*[Audience Applauding]*
Oh, yeah! -
33:02 - 33:05Open the drawer,
[Bell Dings,
Motor Whirring] -
33:05 - 33:09Fiill the patented
Kupkake-inator tray,
*[Audience Gasping]* -
33:09 - 33:12- Close the drawer,
*- [Audience Continues Gasping]* -
33:12 - 33:15Then place it
in a conventional oven. -
33:15 - 33:17*[Audience Laughing,*
Applauding] -
33:20 - 33:22Delicious cupcakes
are just minutes away. -
33:22 - 33:24Did you just say
"minutes away"? -
33:24 - 33:26[Host, Audience]
That's impossible! -
33:26 - 33:29You're not just wrong,
you're stupid.
Now, wait just a minute... -
33:29 - 33:31And you're ugly,
just like your mum. -
33:31 - 33:34*[Audience Gasping]*
Did you just call
my mother ugly? -
33:34 - 33:36Shut up! I mean it!
I will end you! -
33:36 - 33:38- [Grunts]
- [Audience, Cat Gasping, Groaning] -
33:38 - 33:41Um, Cat.
Your tail. -
33:41 - 33:44What about it?
-
33:44 - 33:48Oh, I see! I've chopped it off.
That's interesting, because... -
33:50 - 33:53Son of a bi...
[Beep] -
33:53 - 33:56@¤@¤[Whistling
*"The Girl From Ipanema"]* -
33:56 - 33:59Look, I'm not saying
we're going to sue. -
33:59 - 34:01I'm just saying
we have a case. -
34:01 - 34:03We'll talk later.
Lxnay, ixnay. -
34:03 - 34:05[Wheezes]
Hi. -
34:06 - 34:08Cat, is the oven
supposed to be
making that sound? -
34:08 - 34:10Huh?
-
34:10 - 34:13Of course. That means
they're almost done, Conrack. -
34:14 - 34:16- Conrad.
- That's what I said, Condor. -
34:16 - 34:18- Cat!
- Now, that's my name! -
34:18 - 34:22*[Oven Whirring, Rumbling]*
-
34:26 - 34:28*[Timer Bell Dings]*
Yep! -
34:28 - 34:30They're done!
-
34:30 - 34:33Oh, man!
There's nothing
to worry about. -
34:33 - 34:35I'm sure
they still taste fiine. -
34:35 - 34:37Yecch!
They're horrible! -
34:37 - 34:40Who wants some?
Come on, come on!
[Chortling] -
34:41 - 34:43Oh... my... cod.
-
34:43 - 34:44Ohh! Aah!
-
34:45 - 34:48Cat, you need to
clean this mess up pronto. -
34:48 - 34:51We have a contract.
All right, I'll try. -
34:52 - 34:55You don't try. You do.
-
34:55 - 34:58Yes, ma'am.
Right away, ma'am. -
34:58 - 35:01[Coughs]
I'll be right back. -
35:01 - 35:03Whoa!
[Crash] -
35:03 - 35:05[Chortling]
-
35:06 - 35:08[Snoring]
Hi.
How are ya? -
35:08 - 35:10Okay.
[Chortling] -
35:13 - 35:16Look. I'm a girl.
-
35:16 - 35:19[Giggling, Purring]
-
35:19 - 35:21Stop! That's...
-
35:22 - 35:23[Together]
Mom's dress! -
35:23 - 35:27[Gasps]
This fiilthy thing? -
35:27 - 35:29She was gonna wear that tonight,
and you ruined it. -
35:29 - 35:32Honey, it was ruined
when she bought it. -
35:33 - 35:35Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Mm-hmm. -
35:35 - 35:38*I told you*
*all this would happen.!* -
35:38 - 35:41- But no one listens to a fiish!
- Oy. -
35:41 - 35:44*A dog goes "woof-woof"*
*and everybody knows that*
*little Timmy's trapped undera log.* -
35:44 - 35:46*But a fiish speaks*
*in plain English...* -
35:46 - 35:46All right, everyone,
let's just take a deep breath
and calm down. -
35:51 - 35:52[Inhaling, Exhaling]
-
35:53 - 35:56*You know who's gonna solve it?*
*Me. I am.* -
35:56 - 35:59I will personally
take care of everything. -
36:00 - 36:02And I know
just the guys to do it. -
36:02 - 36:04[Wheezing]
-
36:08 - 36:10[Chortling]
-
36:16 - 36:20In this box are two Things.
I will show them to you. -
36:20 - 36:24*Two Things, and I call them*
*Thing One and Thing Two.* -
36:24 - 36:28These Things will not bite you.
They want to have fun. -
36:28 - 36:30So without further ado,
-
36:30 - 36:33meet Thing Two
and Thing One! -
36:33 - 36:36[Whooping, Babbling]
-
36:36 - 36:38@Ta-da @
-
36:38 - 36:40Oh, yeah!
[Chortles] -
36:40 - 36:44Thing One, Conrad, Sally.
Conrad, Sally, Thing One. -
36:44 - 36:46*Thing Two, Conrad, Sally.*
*Conrad, Sally, Thing Two.* -
36:46 - 36:49Thing One, Thing Two.
Thing Two, Thing One.
Conrad, Sally. Sally, Conrad. -
36:49 - 36:52I am the Cat.
Don't belittle me. -
36:52 - 36:54Ah, yes, of course.
-
36:54 - 36:57Thing Two would like to
clarify that just because
he wears the number two... -
36:57 - 36:59does not imply in any way
that he's inferior to Thing One. -
37:00 - 37:01And all of the above.
-
37:01 - 37:04He says you may feel free
to call him Thing "A," if you like. -
37:05 - 37:08He will also accept SuperThing,
Thing King, Kid Dynamite, -
37:08 - 37:11Chocolate Thun-Da...
or Ben.
[Chuckles] Ben! -
37:11 - 37:13*[Thing OneJabbering]*
-
37:14 - 37:16Thing One says
he's Thing One for a reason, -
37:16 - 37:19and some people
should just get used to it. -
37:19 - 37:22It's a Thing thing.
You wouldn't understand. -
37:22 - 37:24[ThingsJabbering,
Arguing]
Okay, enough! -
37:24 - 37:26You are quickly turning into
one of my least favorite Things. -
37:28 - 37:31Listen, Convex,
you probably don't
wanna do that. -
37:31 - 37:33Why not?
It's just a crate. -
37:33 - 37:34This isn't just any old crate.
-
37:35 - 37:38It's the Trans-dimensional
Transportolator. -
37:38 - 37:41It's kinda like a doorway
which leads from this world
to my world. -
37:41 - 37:43But it says,
"Made in the Philippines." -
37:44 - 37:47Yes, but not this Philippines.
-
37:47 - 37:51*Look, now,*
*I'm not usually a rules guy,*
*but this is a biggie.* -
37:51 - 37:53No opening the crate.
-
37:54 - 37:56No lookee, no touchee.
Got it? -
37:57 - 38:00[Thing]
*Mekka-dekka we should*
*settle ourdifferences.* -
38:00 - 38:02[Jabbering]
-
38:04 - 38:06[Cat]
*Things, front and center.!* -
38:06 - 38:07Cool.
-
38:08 - 38:11All right, Things,
I'm not paying you to
stand around and look pretty. -
38:11 - 38:13*Here's Mom's dress.*
-
38:14 - 38:15*[Thing Cackling]*
*Oh.! Mommy's dress.!* -
38:16 - 38:18[BothJabbering, Giggling]
-
38:18 - 38:20- [Gasp]
- [Gasp] -
38:20 - 38:22- What about the couch?
- Which couch? -
38:23 - 38:25*The clean one,*
*orthe horribly stained one?* -
38:25 - 38:28- [Wheezing]
- [Jabbering Continues] -
38:34 - 38:36Ho!
[Chortling] -
38:36 - 38:38Mekka-dekka
don't worry! -
38:40 - 38:42Incoming!
-
38:44 - 38:49*Cat, they're wrecking*
*the whole house.!* -
38:49 - 38:51[Snoring]
-
38:51 - 38:54[Groans,
Continues Snoring] -
38:56 - 39:00[Jabbering, Giggling Continue]
-
39:09 - 39:13- Conrad, help!
- Help yourself! -
39:13 - 39:16Look at me!
Come and get it! -
39:16 - 39:18[ContinuesJabbering]
-
39:21 - 39:26[Grunts]
Whoa! Ooh, yeah! Whoa! -
39:34 - 39:36[Giggles]
That tickles! -
39:37 - 39:40[Jabbering]
Geronimo! -
39:40 - 39:43[Jabbering, Grunting]
-
39:43 - 39:46[Crab Lock]
Mine, mine, mine!
Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine! -
39:48 - 39:51Ride 'em, cowboy!
Yee-hee-hee! Ho-ho-ho! Whee! -
39:52 - 39:54[Snoring]
-
39:57 - 39:59[Continues Snoring]
-
39:59 - 40:02If this were my house,
I'd be furious. -
40:02 - 40:04[Laughing]
-
40:08 - 40:11Hey! Klondike!
-
40:11 - 40:15Do you have any idea
what happened to the lock
on this crate? -
40:15 - 40:18- It's on Nevins's collar.
- Nevins? -
40:18 - 40:19[Sally]
*Nevins? Nevins.!* -
40:20 - 40:24Put the dog down!
I said, put the dog down! -
40:24 - 40:26Why won't they
listen to me? -
40:26 - 40:31Oh. I don't know if this helps,
but the Things always do
the opposite of what you say. -
40:31 - 40:35Why do they always
do the opposite?
That's so annoying! -
40:35 - 40:37Remind you of anyone,
Conrad? -
40:37 - 40:40Zinga!
*[Things Cackling]* -
40:40 - 40:42Zinga! Zinga!
-
40:42 - 40:45Blue! 41! Set!
Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! -
40:45 - 40:49Hey, Thing,
don't let go of that dog! -
40:49 - 40:50Let go!
-
40:50 - 40:54*[Conrad] Catch him...*
*I mean,* don't *catch him.!*
[Screams] -
40:55 - 40:56[Crab Lock Chuckles]
[Barks] -
40:57 - 40:59Well, this is just great, Conrad.
-
40:59 - 41:03The whole house is destroyed,
the party is ruined,
and now Nevins is gone. -
41:03 - 41:05Sally, Kojak,
-
41:05 - 41:10that's nothing compared
to what's gonna happen
if we don't lock this crate. -
41:10 - 41:13Take a look.
It's already leaking. -
41:14 - 41:16[Grunting]
-
41:16 - 41:20- It won't stay shut.
- Not without the lock. -
41:20 - 41:25Look, if we don't get that lock off of Nevins
and put it back on this crate, -
41:25 - 41:29we're gonna be staring down
the business end
of the mother of all messes. -
41:30 - 41:33[Grunting]
We've gotta go out
and fiind Nevins. -
41:33 - 41:35[Grunts]
Impossible! Sally! -
41:35 - 41:38*There's only four hours*
*till the party.* -
41:38 - 41:40The Fish is right.
We should call Mom
and tell herwhat happened. -
41:40 - 41:44Look at this house!
There's no way we could
explain this to Mom. -
41:44 - 41:46We gotta get Nevins back
and lock the crate! -
41:47 - 41:49We're staying and calling Mom.
-
41:49 - 41:51We're going and getting the dog.
-
41:51 - 41:53[Sinister Voice]
There is a third option. -
41:53 - 41:56@¤@¤[Organ:Dramatic]
There is? -
41:56 - 41:59*Yes. It involves...*
-
41:59 - 42:01murder!
@@ [Dramatic Chords] -
42:01 - 42:04- That's your option?
- No. -
42:04 - 42:07But you guys both had options.
I just wanted to have one too. -
42:07 - 42:10[Chuckling]
Or did I? -
42:11 - 42:14- Cat, you're not helping!
- Come on. Let's go get that dog. -
42:14 - 42:19*Now, wejust need*
*a heavy, inanimate object*
*to weigh down this crate.* -
42:19 - 42:21*[Kids Grunting]*
-
42:23 - 42:25[Grumbling]
-
42:25 - 42:28There. That oughta
buy us some time. -
42:28 - 42:32Come on, kids!
Let's go, go, go!
[Wheezing Laugh] -
42:32 - 42:35[Grunting, Sighing]
-
42:36 - 42:39*[Man On TV]*
*Identical sister Mitzy...* -
42:39 - 42:42[Sighs]
*[Man #2 On TV]*
*That's right.* -
42:43 - 42:45[Grunts]
-
42:46 - 42:49*- [Knocking]*
- Yeah! -
42:51 - 42:53What do you want now?
-
42:53 - 42:55Repo.
-
42:55 - 42:59You're repossessing my TV?
-
42:59 - 43:00I'm sure I made a payment.
-
43:00 - 43:03If it's about that bounced check,
let me give you a credit card. -
43:03 - 43:08That one's expired.
Huh? Oh, come on! -
43:08 - 43:10*[Woman On TVGrunting]*
-
43:10 - 43:14[Narrator]
*With the lock on his collar,*
*Nevins kept running,* -
43:14 - 43:16*unaware ofhis part...*
-
43:16 - 43:19*in the evil Quinn's cunning.*
[Ringing] -
43:19 - 43:22Joan Walden Real Estate.
Be it ever so humble, there's no... -
43:22 - 43:24Oh, hi, Joan.
-
43:24 - 43:26The kids let the dog
out again.
You're kidding. -
43:27 - 43:30Don't worry. I'll go get him,
then we'll have a conversation
vis-a-vis military school. -
43:30 - 43:34I don't know.
Conrad's like you, Lawrence. -
43:34 - 43:37He's very... sensitive.
Uh-huh. -
43:37 - 43:40[Sighs]
But I suppose it's something
I should consider. -
43:40 - 43:43I'll get the dog.
I'll be right over.
[Dial Tone Hums] -
43:46 - 43:49[Sighs]
-
43:49 - 43:51[Groaning]
-
43:51 - 43:53*- [Barking]*
*- [Conrad]*
*Okay, there's Nevins.* -
43:53 - 43:57Stay out of sight.
*[Barks, Growls]* -
44:00 - 44:04*@¤@¤[Violin Strings Plucking]*
-
44:04 - 44:07@@ [Plucking Continues]
-
44:09 - 44:12I thought the moment
needed something. -
44:12 - 44:14Oh, what will become of us?
-
44:14 - 44:16Your motherwill lose her job,
-
44:17 - 44:20and we'll have to...
live on the street! -
44:20 - 44:23[Sobbing]
I can't! Don't make me go... -
44:23 - 44:26[Groans]
*I don't know this world.!* -
44:26 - 44:30It's dry! It's like...
I can't... It's too...
Fish! -
44:31 - 44:32It's too much!
-
44:33 - 44:35Would you like to go back
in the toilet? -
44:35 - 44:37On second thought,
it's such a beautiful day.
Why spend it indoors? -
44:37 - 44:40- Thank you!
- [Gasps] -
44:41 - 44:43Okay, kids.
Get out of my way. -
44:43 - 44:47This fence is no match
for my cat-like grace and reflexes.
Here we go. -
44:47 - 44:50[Neck Muscles,
Knuckles Cracking]
[Exhales] -
44:50 - 44:54Ow. Okay.
Watch me fly, kids.
[Wheezing Laugh] -
44:56 - 44:59*[Loud Crash]*
[Grunting] -
44:59 - 45:01Ow!
-
45:02 - 45:04I don't think
the little girl's even trying. -
45:04 - 45:08What about your
cat-like... reflexes? -
45:09 - 45:12What about showing a little effort,
shrimp boat? Now, push! -
45:12 - 45:14Whaa!
-
45:14 - 45:16All right, Nevins.
-
45:17 - 45:19Time to die.
-
45:19 - 45:22- [Whimpering]
- Cat, you scared him away! -
45:22 - 45:24Dirty hoe.
-
45:26 - 45:30I'm sorry, baby.
I love you. Hmm. -
45:30 - 45:32[Conrad]
*Come on, Cat.!* -
45:36 - 45:38[Yipping]
There he is! -
45:38 - 45:40*[Children Shouting]*
-
45:40 - 45:42[Man]
*Happy birthday, Denise.* -
45:42 - 45:44[Sally]
Denise? -
45:44 - 45:47Everyone I know
is there. -
45:47 - 45:50There's Ginny and Alan.
-
45:50 - 45:53How come Denise didn't
invite me to her birthday? -
45:53 - 45:56*Don't worry. Let'sjust*
*get Nevins and go.* -
45:56 - 45:57*- [Woman] Okay, kids.*
*Everyone outside.!*
- [Kids Screaming] -
45:58 - 46:00[Yelling]
-
46:03 - 46:05Aaah!
-
46:05 - 46:09Nevins.
Cat, get down!
They're gonna see you! -
46:09 - 46:11Hide.!
-
46:11 - 46:13[Excited Shouting]
-
46:19 - 46:22[Chanting]
Pińata! Pińata! Pińata! -
46:22 - 46:24Pińata! Pińata!
-
46:24 - 46:28*Pińata.! Pińata.!*
[Nervous Grumbling] -
46:28 - 46:30- [Groans]
- Everybody join in! -
46:35 - 46:37[Girl]
It's breaking! -
46:37 - 46:40Step out of my way.
-
46:43 - 46:45This cannot end well.
-
46:45 - 46:48- Pińata! Pińata!
- [Howling] -
46:48 - 46:50*@¤I'm easy @¤*
-
46:50 - 46:54*@¤Ah, ah, ah, ah @¤*
[Whinnying] -
46:54 - 46:57*@¤I'm easy*
*like Sunday morning @¤@¤* -
46:57 - 47:00- [Howling]
- [Both Groaning] -
47:00 - 47:04*[Howling Continues]*
-
47:04 - 47:07Oh-ho-ho! Whoo!
-
47:07 - 47:09*- Oh.! Whoo-hoo.!*
- I got an idea. -
47:09 - 47:12[Conrad]
Candy.! -
47:13 - 47:15Candy!
-
47:16 - 47:18[Growls]
-
47:18 - 47:21[Both]
No! -
47:21 - 47:24Get back!
Cat! -
47:24 - 47:26[Cat Grunts]
I'll get you! -
47:29 - 47:31[Sighs]
*[Phone Rings]* -
47:31 - 47:34[Gasping]
I'd love to buy some. -
47:34 - 47:36Hello, Mrs. Kwan.
It'sJoan Walden. -
47:36 - 47:38I just called
to check on the kids.
Are they okay? -
47:38 - 47:42[Chuckles]
Those aren't children. -
47:42 - 47:44They're little angels.
-
47:45 - 47:47[All Laughing]
-
47:47 - 47:49That's sweet.
-
47:49 - 47:52Well, all right, Mrs. Kwan.
I'll be home as soon as I can. -
47:52 - 47:55Bye-bye.
Bye. -
47:55 - 47:58*[Things Babbling]*
-
47:58 - 48:00[Sighs]
-
48:01 - 48:03[Groans, Snores]
-
48:03 - 48:06*[Excited Chortling]*
-
48:24 - 48:27[Cat]
*All right, soldier.*
*Our bogey is in range.* -
48:27 - 48:29Commence
search and destroy. -
48:29 - 48:32- What?
- Search and rescue. -
48:32 - 48:37I meant search and rescue.
Come on! -
48:37 - 48:40I can't believe I wasn't
invited to that party. -
48:40 - 48:42Hey!
You're a lone wolf. -
48:42 - 48:45[Whispering]
Live alone, die alone.
Yeah. -
48:45 - 48:48- Can we please get the dog?
- [Mocking]
Can we please get the dog? -
48:48 - 48:51Can we please get the dog?
Boo! -
48:55 - 48:57[Conrad]
*Oh, no.! Oh, man.!* -
48:57 - 49:00Hello, Nevins.
Good-bye, Conrad. -
49:00 - 49:04Not so tough now,
are you?
[Barks] -
49:05 - 49:07*[Sinister Laughing]*
-
49:09 - 49:12[Hooting Laugh]
-
49:14 - 49:16We're dead.
We're never gonna get
that crate shut. -
49:17 - 49:20And I'm getting shipped off
to Colonel Von Kronk's School
for Wayward Boys! -
49:20 - 49:24Why don't we
take my car?
You have a car? -
49:24 - 49:26Yeah, sure.
*[CarAlarm Chirps]* -
49:27 - 49:30*[Engine Starts,*
*Tires Screech]* -
49:31 - 49:33Wow.
That is so cool. -
49:33 - 49:36That's just
the dust cover. -
49:38 - 49:42Here she is, the Super Luxurious
Omnidirectional Whatchamajigger. -
49:42 - 49:45Or S.L.O.W. For short.
-
49:45 - 49:47S.L.O.W.?
-
49:47 - 49:50Yeah, SLOW.
It's better than the last name we had. -
49:50 - 49:53Super Hydraulic
Instantaneous Transporter. -
49:54 - 49:58- Oh, you mean...
- Ohh! Quick, to the SLOW.
[Chortling] -
50:00 - 50:02[Grunts]
Buckle up, kids. -
50:02 - 50:06We're on a mission to get that dog,
and we will not rest
until we fiind and destroy it. -
50:06 - 50:09Rescue it!
Rescue it! Of course
I meant rescue it. -
50:09 - 50:12Whatever. Remember, kids,
there's nothing faster than SLOW. -
50:13 - 50:16That's backwards!
It makes no sense.
Look at you! Argh! -
50:16 - 50:18Okay, here we go.
G.P. S... check. -
50:18 - 50:20*DVD, CD... check.*
-
50:20 - 50:24Someone from Czechoslovakia
is a... Czech.
[Chortling] -
50:24 - 50:26Siren!
What are you...
What... -
50:26 - 50:28Siren?
[Screaming] -
50:28 - 50:32Let's go!
-
50:32 - 50:35Whoo-whoa-ho-ho!
[Hooting] -
50:35 - 50:38Hi there!
How are you? Yeah!
[Giggling] -
50:38 - 50:41[Engine Backfiiring]
[Laughing] -
50:41 - 50:45[All Yelling]
-
50:45 - 50:51@ I'm sending Conrad away @
-
50:51 - 50:54- Oh! Oh!
- [Barking] -
50:54 - 50:56[Sniffs]
Oh!
[Barks] -
50:56 - 51:00I can't believe you whizzed
on my taco! -
51:00 - 51:02*[Barking Continues]*
-
51:02 - 51:05Wait tillJoan
gets a load of you! -
51:06 - 51:08[Laughing]
[Barking] -
51:08 - 51:11- There they are!
*- [Fish] Red light, red light,*
*red light, red light.!* -
51:11 - 51:13Red light!
-
51:14 - 51:16[All Screaming]
-
51:18 - 51:21- Someone else should drive.
- All right. You win. -
51:21 - 51:24Concrete,
you drive.
Are you serious? -
51:24 - 51:25I don't know.
-
51:25 - 51:29A little voice inside of me
is saying, "This is a bad idea," -
51:29 - 51:31but I can barely hear
that little voice... -
51:31 - 51:36because an even louder
little voice is screaming,
"Let the 12-year-old drive!" -
51:36 - 51:38Now, punch it!
[Imitating Engine] -
51:38 - 51:40[Grunts]
-
51:41 - 51:42*This is awesome.!*
-
51:43 - 51:44[Gagging]
-
51:44 - 51:47- [Retching]
- [Groans] -
51:49 - 51:52- I want to drive.
- I think that's a great idea. -
51:52 - 51:55[Chuckling]
-
51:55 - 51:58Wait!
Two people can't drive
at the same time. -
51:58 - 52:02You're right.
We should all drive.
[Chortling] -
52:02 - 52:05*[Tires Screeching]*
[Yelling] -
52:06 - 52:10*- Cat.! Where are the brakes?*
- I'll get them. -
52:12 - 52:16I think there's something wrong
with your brakes. When's the
last time you had them checked? -
52:17 - 52:20[Chortling]
*Bad brake.!* -
52:25 - 52:27[Screaming]
-
52:27 - 52:30*One-way street, one-way street,*
*one-way street, one-way street.!* -
52:30 - 52:32- [Gasping, Screaming]
- [Truck Horn Honking] -
52:36 - 52:39Hey, Rhode Island license plate.
You never see those. -
52:41 - 52:44[Horn Honking]
-
52:44 - 52:47Om. Om.
-
52:48 - 52:50*[Loud Clanging]*
-
52:54 - 52:57Air bag. Standard.
-
52:57 - 52:59[Panting]
-
53:00 - 53:02I think... I wet... my jar.
-
53:02 - 53:04Can we do that again?
-
53:07 - 53:09[Alarm Chirps]
[Gasps] -
53:12 - 53:13Hey, there he is!
-
53:16 - 53:19*[Conrad] Oh, no.!*
*He's going into Mom's offiice.!* -
53:19 - 53:21Come on, Cat!
-
53:23 - 53:25[Whistles]
You know, Nevins, -
53:25 - 53:28whenJoan fiinds out
you've escaped again,
Conrad will be moving out, -
53:29 - 53:31and I'll be moving in.
-
53:33 - 53:36*[Conrad] We've gotta get*
*Nevins and that lock back.*
*[Sally] What are we gonna do?* -
53:36 - 53:39*Don't worry.*
*I have three plans.* -
53:39 - 53:42Plan "A": "Mess up
a perfectly clean house." -
53:42 - 53:47Done that. Plan "B":
"Cut your losses and ditch the kids." -
53:47 - 53:50- That could work.
- What about that one? -
53:50 - 53:55Plan "C": "Trick Mom's boyfriend
into handing over dog and lock." -
53:55 - 53:58I don't know.
I still like Plan "B." -
53:58 - 54:01- [Both] Cat!
- Okay, okay. Plan "C." -
54:01 - 54:03Look at you. Argh!
-
54:05 - 54:08[Whining]
*Excuse me, sir.* -
54:08 - 54:11I'd like you to sign
my petition. Yeah. -
54:11 - 54:13Get out of my way,
you hippie freak. -
54:13 - 54:16Are you aware of the senseless,
wholesale slaughter... -
54:16 - 54:20of the flatulating,
acid-spitting Zumzizeroo? -
54:20 - 54:22What will it take
to get you out of my face? -
54:22 - 54:24Just sign my petition...
-
54:25 - 54:28with this large, oversized pen
that requires two hands. -
54:28 - 54:31*I see.*
[Loud Click] -
54:31 - 54:33- Will you hold my dog?
- Yes! -
54:34 - 54:37Okay, I have a problem
with the word "dog." -
54:37 - 54:40I don't use the "D" word per se
'cause I think it's really, really wrong. -
54:42 - 54:45*Yeah. But I will happily*
*hold yourCanine-American.* -
54:45 - 54:49- I'm more comfortable
with that really, yeah.
- [Giggling] -
54:49 - 54:53@ How much is that Canine-American
in the window @ -
54:53 - 54:55[Both]
Cat! Come on! -
54:57 - 55:00*- [Nevins Barking]*
*- Hey, what the...* -
55:00 - 55:03*[Cat] Go, go, go.!*
Come back here!
I'm on to you kids! -
55:03 - 55:06- Nothing to see here.
Keep moving! Go!
- [Panting] -
55:06 - 55:09[Whistle Blows]
Come on! Let's go.
Ah, get in, get in! -
55:09 - 55:13Come on, let's go.
Get in! Hi, hi.
Get in! Get in! -
55:13 - 55:16@¤@¤[Dance]
Look out below! -
55:17 - 55:20Oh! Sorry. Over there.
-
55:22 - 55:24[Hooting]
Hey! Hey, hey!
Hey, hey! -
55:25 - 55:28*[Feet Screeching]*
Ohh! -
55:30 - 55:33Oh!
[Laughing] -
55:33 - 55:34I got you!
-
55:36 - 55:40Here he comes!
[Both]
Cat! -
55:40 - 55:42[Yelling]
-
55:42 - 55:47- [Woman Screams]
- Where's my hat? Oh! Go! Go, go! -
55:47 - 55:49Go! Let's go!
My tail, my tail. -
55:49 - 55:53Come on, Cat!
[Grunts]
I'm walking here! -
55:57 - 56:00[Angry Whimpering]
*[Horn Honking]* -
56:00 - 56:03Joan. Joan!
[Whimpering] -
56:06 - 56:09- I think we lost him.
- Not the pocket. Not the pocket! -
56:09 - 56:13- We got the lock back.
Now let's get home.
- Relax, kid. I'm all over it. -
56:13 - 56:16[Wheezing Laugh]
Hey. -
56:16 - 56:18What's wrong?
This. -
56:18 - 56:21This is not my hat.
I must have picked up
the wrong hat back there. -
56:21 - 56:24- So?
- So... -
56:24 - 56:27without my hat,
I'm just your garden-variety
six-foot-tall talking cat. -
56:28 - 56:29*Joan, yourchildren*
*are running around town*
*like complete maniacs.* -
56:31 - 56:36*Yes, they are.*
*With some weird,*
*hairy man in a big hat.* -
56:36 - 56:38Uh-huh.
-
56:38 - 56:41You're gonna believe everything
I'm telling you once we get to
your house, okay? Come on. -
56:41 - 56:43We're doomed!
-
56:43 - 56:47We're dead. This is all my fault.
I'm such an idiot. -
56:47 - 56:52Why do I always have to do
the opposite of what I'm supposed to? -
56:52 - 56:54Wait a second.
That's it! The opposite! -
56:54 - 56:57Hey, Things!
Don't help us! -
56:57 - 57:01Do not show up and help us
get home right now! -
57:01 - 57:04- We're goin' on a road trip!
- Larry's car? -
57:06 - 57:09How'd you get so smart?
[Chortling] -
57:09 - 57:12[Narrator]
*So the race was on*
*to get back home fiirst.* -
57:12 - 57:15[Conrad]
Hang on! We gotta beat
Mom and Quinn home! -
57:16 - 57:19[Narrator]
*But back at their home,*
*things werejust getting worse.* -
57:36 - 57:38There's Mom and Larry!
-
57:38 - 57:41Step on it, Joan.
Go, go, go, go, go. -
57:41 - 57:45Oh, Things, do not do anything
to slow down my mom. -
57:45 - 57:47[Things]
*Slow down Mom.!* -
57:47 - 57:50[Whooping]
-
57:50 - 57:54[Chattering]
-
57:54 - 57:57[Quinn]
Look, Joan, they don't
beat them every day. -
57:57 - 58:00*[Siren Wailing]*
Oh, great. -
58:00 - 58:03[Siren Continues]
-
58:05 - 58:08[Clears Throat]
I'm sorry, Offiicer.
Was I speeding? -
58:08 - 58:11Mekka dekka license,
appa registration. -
58:13 - 58:15Mekka dekka,
you're one hot mama. -
58:15 - 58:18Hey, that's my car.
Joan, we better go right away! -
58:18 - 58:20Please let me handle this.
-
58:20 - 58:23Sorry, I guess I was
in a hurry to get home. -
58:23 - 58:27- I'm not gonna let them
get away with this!
- [Babbling] -
58:27 - 58:29[Yelling]
-
58:29 - 58:31[Siren Wailing]
-
58:32 - 58:34Meet me at the house!
-
58:46 - 58:49Not so fast,
you little maggots!
Ha-ha! -
58:49 - 58:52Oh, you are so busted.
Now get inside. -
58:52 - 58:54You don't want to go in there.
It's going to be a total...
Aah! -
58:56 - 58:59What?
Sally, what happened? -
59:00 - 59:02*What about the mother*
*ofall messes?*
*I don't know.* -
59:02 - 59:05[Sneezes]
Why am I sneezing? -
59:10 - 59:13That'd be me. Boo!
-
59:13 - 59:17You're a giant...
[Sneezing] -
59:17 - 59:19Cat!
-
59:19 - 59:22[Screaming]
-
59:22 - 59:26Judas Priest!
-
59:26 - 59:28Ooh.
*Mama mia.* -
59:32 - 59:34What happened
to our house? -
59:34 - 59:38It's the mother
of all messes.
Yup! -
59:38 - 59:41Pure, unadulterated fun
without any good sense or judgment. -
59:41 - 59:44See, Corn Dog,
this is why I warned you... -
59:44 - 59:46not to open the crate.
-
59:46 - 59:48- [Birds Honking]
- Although, on the plus side, -
59:49 - 59:53I think people will be
talking about tonight's party
for the rest of their lives. -
59:53 - 59:56- [Nevins Whines]
- [Groans] -
59:56 - 59:59- We gotta shut the crate! Come on!
- Okay. -
59:59 - 60:01[Cat Chuckling]
-
60:01 - 60:04Let's take the front hall carpet.
[Chortling] -
60:04 - 60:08- This can't be the front hall.
- This is what happens when you
mix yourworld and my world. -
60:09 - 60:11Oh, and when you eat
bad shellfiish. -
60:11 - 60:14Let's go! Oh, yeah!
-
60:14 - 60:16Cat, how do we
fiind the crate?
Beats me. -
60:17 - 60:20This hat is worthless,
and it makes me look fat. -
60:20 - 60:22- Where's Mrs. Kwan?
- Oh-ho-ho! -
60:22 - 60:25*Here she comes,*
*right on schedule.* -
60:28 - 60:31- Oh, yeah!
- We're going to ride Mrs. Kwan? -
60:32 - 60:35*Sure.! It's the only way*
*to the crate. Hop on.!* -
60:35 - 60:39Oh, this is gonna be good!
-
60:39 - 60:43Please keep your hands and feet
in the Kwan at all times! -
60:43 - 60:47Enjoy the ride!
[Chortling] -
60:47 - 60:51*Ladies and gentlemen,*
*the dining room. Ohh.!*
[Laughing] -
60:51 - 60:53[Sally]
This is the dining room?
*[Clock Cuckooing]* -
60:54 - 60:56Hey, look.
Chandelier! -
60:56 - 60:58[Chuckling]
-
61:02 - 61:05[Conrad]
*Is that the bathroom?* -
61:05 - 61:08You might want to
hold it for a while. -
61:10 - 61:12Something like that
really burns my... -
61:12 - 61:14[All]
Aaah! -
61:16 - 61:21This is amazing!
It's like a ride
at an amusement park! -
61:21 - 61:24You mean, like at...
Universal Studios. -
61:24 - 61:27[Laughing]
Cha-ching. -
61:27 - 61:31Whoa!
-
61:31 - 61:33[All Screaming]
-
61:33 - 61:36- [Cat] Whoa!
- [Grumbling] -
61:37 - 61:41Please exit the Kwan to your left.
Have a nice day! -
61:41 - 61:44This is ridiculous.
I have to get home. -
61:44 - 61:48[Grunting]
Police brutality!
Illegal choke hold! -
61:49 - 61:52Where are we?
The living room,
I think. -
61:52 - 61:54Ah, man!
My eyes are closed. -
61:54 - 61:59If there's no line, could we
go back and do that again?
There's the crate! -
61:59 - 62:01Oh!
[Chortling] -
62:06 - 62:08If we shut the crate,
the house will go back to normal. -
62:08 - 62:10You have the lock?
-
62:10 - 62:12Got it!
Come on! Let's go! -
62:16 - 62:19Sally!
[Both Grunting] -
62:19 - 62:22- Come on!
- It won't shut! -
62:22 - 62:27Sally! Everything
is disappearing up there! -
62:27 - 62:29- Help!
- Sally! -
62:29 - 62:32- Oh! Oh!
- Sal... Aaah! -
62:32 - 62:35- Help me, Conrad!
- Sally! -
62:36 - 62:41Help me!
I can't hold on! -
62:41 - 62:44Hang on!
Help me, Conrad! -
62:45 - 62:48Help.!
Sally, I can't reach
the lock! -
62:48 - 62:52- No!
- I can't save you
unless you let go! -
62:52 - 62:54Okay.
-
62:55 - 62:58[Screaming]
Help me! -
63:00 - 63:03- [Lock] Yes!
- [Screaming] -
63:23 - 63:28*[Crashing, Groaning]*
*[Birds Chirping]* -
63:28 - 63:32[Yelling]
-
63:32 - 63:36[Gurgling]
Ugh! -
63:36 - 63:38I did it!
I did it! -
63:38 - 63:41*I did it.! I did it.!*
*I did it.!* -
63:41 - 63:43[Laughing]
I did it! I did it! -
63:46 - 63:50Okay, "we" did it.
-
63:50 - 63:53I don't think
we did anything. -
63:53 - 63:58The place is still a wreck.
You said if we shut the crate,
everything would be okay! -
63:58 - 64:01But it's not.
It's a complete disaster! -
64:01 - 64:03Well, what are you
gonna do? -
64:03 - 64:05Tennis, anyone?
-
64:07 - 64:09*[Metal Popping]*
-
64:10 - 64:13*[Balls Rolling]*
[Sniffiing] -
64:13 - 64:15Ooh!
[Purring] -
64:15 - 64:18Love that new ball smell.
Yeah. -
64:18 - 64:23- Hey, your hat... it's magic again?
- Oops. -
64:24 - 64:28Well, now that the cat's out of the bag,
to use an archaic
and cruel-sounding metaphor, -
64:28 - 64:30why don't you serve fiirst?
-
64:30 - 64:32You had your real hat
this whole time? -
64:32 - 64:35Uh-yup.
I planned the whole day.
[Wheezing Laugh] -
64:36 - 64:39- What do you mean,
you planned the whole day? All of it?
- Uh-yup. -
64:39 - 64:40- The house getting trashed?
- Uh-yup. -
64:41 - 64:42- Quinn taking Nevins?
- Uh-yup. -
64:42 - 64:45- Cutting off your tail?
- Uh-nope. No. -
64:47 - 64:49*You even knew*
*I'd open the crate?* -
64:49 - 64:53Why do you think I made it my one rule?
I knew you couldn't resist. -
64:53 - 64:56Now, who's up for a game
of Canadian doubles? -
64:56 - 64:59*[Loud Crashing]*
-
64:59 - 65:01Cat, you said nothing bad
would happen. -
65:01 - 65:04Cat, you need to get out.
-
65:04 - 65:07I don't know that game.
It's not a game. -
65:07 - 65:10None of this is a game!
-
65:10 - 65:15- But I thought you two
wanted to have fun today.
- Look around, Cat. -
65:15 - 65:18*You were right.*
*It's fun to have fun,*
*but you have to know how.* -
65:18 - 65:21You don't know
when enough is enough.
Now, go! -
65:23 - 65:24Suzy.
-
65:24 - 65:26Cromwell.
-
65:26 - 65:28Please.
-
65:28 - 65:30[Both]
Out! -
65:38 - 65:39Out!
-
65:53 - 65:55[Sparking]
-
65:55 - 65:57Good riddance!
-
65:57 - 66:00Now, this may not be the time
for"I told you so," but... -
66:06 - 66:08Like I said,
not the time. -
66:08 - 66:11I'll get the mop
and bucket. -
66:11 - 66:15Conrad, you might want
to get out ofhere until Mom
has a chance to calm down. -
66:16 - 66:20No. This was my fault.
I'll take the blame. -
66:20 - 66:23Look, Mom will be home any second.
Why don't you go upstairs? -
66:24 - 66:26I'm not going upstairs.
I'm staying with you. -
66:26 - 66:29Really? Why?
Two reasons. -
66:30 - 66:32One, the stairs are destroyed.
-
66:32 - 66:37Two, this is just as much
my fault as yours. -
66:37 - 66:39We should share the blame.
-
66:40 - 66:42Thanks, Sally.
-
66:42 - 66:44By the way,
-
66:44 - 66:46you're a pretty good brother.
-
66:46 - 66:50Glad you think that.
Maybe we can room together
at military school. -
66:54 - 66:57Well, here goes.
-
67:01 - 67:03[Chortling]
-
67:06 - 67:09@ Bet you thought I'd gone
Bet you felt a sting @ -
67:09 - 67:12*@¤Bet you neverthought*
*I'd have anothersong to sing @¤* -
67:12 - 67:15@ But now that you've learned your lesson
Allow me to blow your mind @ -
67:15 - 67:18@ By reading to you the small print
of the contract that you signed @@ -
67:18 - 67:22Okay, section eight,
article 93, subparagraph 834. -
67:22 - 67:24*Right by the chili stain.*
[Chuckles] -
67:24 - 67:27It reads, "If Conrad, a.k.a. Concrete,
should open the crate... -
67:27 - 67:30"and we know he will...
the contract shall be null and void. -
67:32 - 67:34"However,
-
67:34 - 67:38if Sally and Conrad
should learn from their mistakes,
the contract shall be reinstated." -
67:38 - 67:41*I think you two have satisfiied*
*the legal burden oflearning.* -
67:41 - 67:43[Both]
Yeah! -
67:43 - 67:45So there's just one last game to play.
It's called "Clean Up The House." -
67:45 - 67:50Kids, meet the Dynamic Industrial
Renovating Tractormajigger. -
67:50 - 67:52[Both]
D-l-R-T? -
67:52 - 67:54That's right!
-
67:56 - 68:00[Chortling]
*@¤It's getting better*
*all the time @¤* -
68:00 - 68:04*@¤I used to get mad*
*at my school @¤*
Ta-da! -
68:04 - 68:08*@¤ The teachers who taught me*
*weren't cool @¤* -
68:08 - 68:10*@¤ You're holding me down @¤*
-
68:10 - 68:12*@¤ Turning me 'round @¤*
-
68:12 - 68:15*@¤Filling me up*
*with your rules @¤*
*@¤Ooh-ooh @¤* -
68:15 - 68:19*@¤I've got to admit*
*it's getting better@¤*
@¤Better@¤ -
68:19 - 68:21*@¤A little better*
*all the time @¤* -
68:21 - 68:23*@¤It can't get no worse @¤*
-
68:23 - 68:26*@¤I have to admit*
*it's getting better@¤*
@¤Better@¤ -
68:26 - 68:30*@¤A little better*
*since you've been mine @¤* -
68:30 - 68:34*- [Cat Chortling]*
- Hee-hee!
[Babbling] -
68:34 - 68:37*@¤Me used to be*
*an angry young man @¤* -
68:38 - 68:40*@¤Me hiding my head*
*in the sand @¤* -
68:40 - 68:44[Horn Honks]
*@¤ You gave me the word*
*I fiinally heard @¤* -
68:44 - 68:48*@¤I'm doing the best*
*that I can,yeah @¤* -
68:48 - 68:51*@¤I've got to admit*
*it's getting better@¤* -
68:51 - 68:54@¤Better@¤
*@¤A little better*
*all the time @¤* -
68:54 - 68:56*@¤Can't get no worse @¤*
-
68:56 - 68:58*@¤I have to admit*
*it's getting better@¤* -
68:58 - 69:00@¤Better@¤
*@¤It's getting better@¤* -
69:00 - 69:03*@¤Since you've been mine @¤*
Oh, yeah! -
69:03 - 69:05*@¤Getting so much better@¤*
These drapes are so out, -
69:06 - 69:07*@¤All the time @¤*
they're in! -
69:07 - 69:10*@¤It's getting better*
*all the time @¤*
[Chortling] Yeah! -
69:10 - 69:13*- @¤Better, better, better@¤*
- Spin! Spin! -
69:13 - 69:16*@¤It's getting better*
*all the time @¤* -
69:16 - 69:20*@¤Better, better, better@¤*
-
69:24 - 69:25[Blubbering]
-
69:33 - 69:36[Chortling]
Ooh! Ooh! -
69:38 - 69:43*@¤I have to admit*
*it's getting better@¤* -
69:43 - 69:46*@¤A little better*
*all the time @¤*
[Barking] -
69:46 - 69:50*@¤It can't get no worse @¤*
*@¤ Yes, I admit*
*it's getting better@¤* -
69:50 - 69:52*- @¤It's getting better@¤*
- Bye! -
69:52 - 69:54*@¤Since you've been mine @¤*
-
69:55 - 69:58*@¤Getting so much better*
*all the time @¤@¤* -
70:02 - 70:05Okay, we had some good times.
-
70:05 - 70:07We cleaned up the house.
-
70:08 - 70:10We even managed to work in
an up-tempo pop tune for the sound track. -
70:10 - 70:12That's important.
-
70:12 - 70:17I guess there's just one
last thing to check. -
70:17 - 70:20[Gurgling]
Huh? -
70:23 - 70:25[Dings]
-
70:27 - 70:29[Dings]
-
70:29 - 70:32Looks like everything's
in balance, -
70:32 - 70:34but you're still smoking
way too many cigars. -
70:34 - 70:38*- And you... lay offthe sauce.!*
- [Chuckles] -
70:38 - 70:40Cat,
-
70:40 - 70:44this day has been...
amazing. -
70:44 - 70:46Thank you, Cat.
-
70:50 - 70:52For everything.
-
70:54 - 70:56Conrad?
-
70:57 - 70:59Sally?
-
71:02 - 71:04Adieu.
-
71:05 - 71:07*- [Sally]*
Cat.!
- Cat! -
71:08 - 71:10- Huh?
- Wait, Cat.
- Don't go! -
71:10 - 71:12[Chuckles]
-
71:12 - 71:14Uh-oh!
-
71:15 - 71:17[Chortling]
-
71:17 - 71:20*All right, kids.*
*This place better not be a mess.* -
71:20 - 71:23I'm... home?
-
71:23 - 71:25Hi, Mom.
Hi, Mom. -
71:25 - 71:29Miss Walden, home so soon?
The children were angels. -
71:29 - 71:32*- Thanks, Mrs. Kwan.*
- Hello, Joan. -
71:32 - 71:35[Gasps]
Lawrence, what happened to you? -
71:37 - 71:40They... happened to me.
-
71:40 - 71:44Your demonic children.
-
71:44 - 71:47[Panting]
*They destroyed your house.!* -
71:47 - 71:50Uh...
-
71:50 - 71:53[Quinn]
*The house was alive.*
*The wall was made ofpaper.* -
71:53 - 71:57I fell off the cliff.
And the giant cat... -
71:59 - 72:01The giant cat!
-
72:01 - 72:03[Whispers]
Tell her. -
72:03 - 72:06Larry, Larry.
-
72:06 - 72:08You look terrible,
-
72:09 - 72:11and my mom
thinks you're insane. -
72:11 - 72:15This is what we in sales
call "a win-win scenario." -
72:17 - 72:20Joan, you are passing up
the opportunity of a lifetime. -
72:20 - 72:24You know what kind ofkid
your boy is. -
72:24 - 72:27I mean, who are you
going to believe? -
72:27 - 72:31You're right. I do know
what kind ofkid Conrad is. -
72:31 - 72:33He can be irresponsible.
-
72:33 - 72:36Yes!
He makes bad choices. -
72:36 - 72:40Sometimes he makes me
want to tear my hair out.
Yes! Yes! Yes! -
72:40 - 72:43But he's a good kid,
and I believe in him. -
72:43 - 72:46Now, I'd like you
to leave. -
72:46 - 72:49Wha... Joan. Joan.
-
72:49 - 72:52Joan. Joan.
-
72:52 - 72:57Oh, Joan, Joan, Joan!
[Crying] -
72:59 - 73:01[Sneezes]
-
73:01 - 73:03[Groaning]
-
73:06 - 73:09- Will you marry me, Joan?
- [Groans] -
73:09 - 73:12Oh, Joan, Joan,
Joan, Joan. -
73:12 - 73:15[Sobbing]
-
73:15 - 73:18[Squeals]
Yes!
Yeah! -
73:18 - 73:20*[Both Laughing]*
[Conrad]
Yeah.! -
73:21 - 73:25Oh, that's nice.
[Snoring] -
73:26 - 73:29*[People Chattering]*
-
73:29 - 73:32Mr. Humberfloob?
Whoa-ho-ho! -
73:32 - 73:36Almost got me again.
Enjoy the party. -
73:36 - 73:40*Mr. Humberfloob.*
Joan, the party's a hit
and the house is immaculate. -
73:40 - 73:42Congratulations.
-
73:42 - 73:45[Woman]
*Miss Walden. Uh, Miss Walden.* -
73:45 - 73:48Chicka-ow, chicka-ow,
chica-yee-haw!
Hi, Mom! -
73:48 - 73:51*Honey, yourcupcakes*
*are a huge hit.*
*What did you put in them?* -
73:51 - 73:55Mom, you can make cupcakes
out of anything. -
73:55 - 73:58*Are you telling me*
*you can make cupcakes*
*out ofanything?* -
73:58 - 74:02- Anything.
- Anything? -
74:02 - 74:04So what did you kids
do today, huh? -
74:04 - 74:08[Narrator]
*Well, what would you do*
*ifyour motherasked you?* -
74:08 - 74:11*The family was whole,*
*all thanks to the Cat,* -
74:12 - 74:14*who was dashing and charming,*
*no doubt about that.* -
74:15 - 74:16*He was witty and cultured...*
-
74:17 - 74:19*and, well, very endearing...*
-
74:19 - 74:21*and tremendously attractive,*
-
74:21 - 74:23but in a sort of real way.
-
74:23 - 74:26You know, kind of
an approachable way that I think
you don't see these days... -
74:26 - 74:29[Normal Voice]
Oh! Hello! I was just, uh... -
74:30 - 74:33I really should be going.
[Chuckles] -
74:33 - 74:35How'd they get so smart?
-
74:36 - 74:40[Whooping]
[Chortling] -
74:40 - 74:43[All Laughing]
Oh, yeah! -
74:44 - 74:46Whoo!
-
74:47 - 74:49[Chortling]
-
74:57 - 74:59Come on, Things!
Let's go! -
74:59 - 75:03What's on my schedule
for tomorrow? -
75:03 - 75:06What do you say
we go on vacation?
[Chortling] -
75:06 - 75:10How 'bout Hawaii?
I like Hawaii. -
75:10 - 75:14I should warn you,
there are certain places that
don't allow certain Things. -
75:14 - 75:19[Chuckling]
*Oh, Things are complicated.* -
75:25 - 75:34Subrip By PrimeEvil
Fixed By Pacman -
75:40 - 75:43*@¤ Things are getting weird*
*Things are getting tough @¤* -
75:43 - 75:46*@¤Nothing's making sense*
*but you keep on looking up @¤* -
75:46 - 75:50*@¤ They tell you to be true*
*You're trying every day @¤* -
75:50 - 75:53*@¤ To keep it on the real*
*Still you gotta fiind a way @¤* -
75:53 - 75:57*@¤ To make your mama happy*
*To make your papa proud @¤* -
75:57 - 76:00*@¤ You wanna turn it up*
*but all you hear is "tone it down"@¤* -
76:00 - 76:04*@¤So gather'round*
*I'm here to say @¤* -
76:04 - 76:07*@¤ You'll never make everybody's day @¤*
-
76:07 - 76:10*@¤But while you're around*
*you might as well @¤* -
76:10 - 76:13*@¤Catch the tiger by its tail @¤*
-
76:13 - 76:16*@¤And hang on*
*hang on, hang on @¤* -
76:16 - 76:19*@¤Everybodyjust get on*
*get on, get on @¤* -
76:19 - 76:22*@¤Get started*
*and go on, go on, go on @¤* -
76:22 - 76:28*@¤Everybodyjust hold on @¤*
-
76:28 - 76:32*@¤Sometimes I wanna cry*
*orthrow the towel in @¤* -
76:32 - 76:35*@¤ You try to bring me down*
*but I'll take it on the chin @¤* -
76:35 - 76:39*@¤And everywhere I go*
*the people are the same @¤* -
76:39 - 76:42*@¤ Theyjust want to know*
*that everything will be okay @¤* -
76:42 - 76:46*@¤ When things are getting rough*
*they turn it back around @¤* -
76:46 - 76:49*@¤ You gotta turn it up*
*when they tell you "tone it down"@¤* -
76:49 - 76:52*@¤So gather'round*
*I'm here to say @¤* -
76:52 - 76:56*@¤ You'll never make everybody's day @¤*
-
76:56 - 76:59*@¤But while you're around*
*you might as well @¤* -
76:59 - 77:02*@¤Catch the tiger by its tail @¤*
-
77:02 - 77:04*@¤And hang on*
*hang on, hang on @¤* -
77:04 - 77:08@¤Everybodyjust
*get on, get on, get on @¤* -
77:08 - 77:11*@¤Get started*
*and go on, go on, go on @¤* -
77:11 - 77:15*@¤Everybodyjust hold on @¤*
-
77:16 - 77:20*@¤Just hang on @¤*
-
77:34 - 77:38*@¤So gather'round*
*I'm here to say @¤* -
77:38 - 77:41*@¤ You'll never make everybody's day @¤*
-
77:41 - 77:44*@¤But while you're around*
*you might as well @¤* -
77:44 - 77:47*@¤Catch a tiger by its tail @¤*
-
77:47 - 77:49*@¤And hang on*
*hang on, hang on @¤* -
77:50 - 77:53@¤Everybodyjust
*get on, get on, get on @¤* -
77:53 - 77:56*@¤Get started*
*and go on, go on, go on @¤* -
77:56 - 78:01*@¤Everybodyjust hold on @¤*
-
78:01 - 78:03*@¤Hang on, hang on, hang on @¤*
-
78:03 - 78:07@¤Everybodyjust
*get on, get on, get on @¤* -
78:07 - 78:10*@¤Get started*
*and go on, go on, go on @¤* -
78:10 - 78:14*@¤Everybodyjust hold on @¤*
-
78:15 - 78:24*@¤Just hang on @¤@¤*
- Title:
- The Cat In The Hat Full Movie
- Description:
-
All rights are served to Universal Studies@ this is there video not mine. Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for fair use for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.
- Video Language:
- English
- Duration:
- 01:21:51
Sadam Lewis edited English subtitles for The Cat In The Hat Full Movie | ||
Sadam Lewis edited English subtitles for The Cat In The Hat Full Movie | ||
Sadam Lewis edited English subtitles for The Cat In The Hat Full Movie | ||
Sadam Lewis added a translation |