WEBVTT
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Subrip By PrimeEvil
Fixed By Pacman
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[Narrator]
*There are gajillions ofstories...*
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*ofmischiefand fun,*
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*but to keep things simple,*
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*let's start withjust one...*
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*about a mom and two kids...*
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*and a house and a hat...*
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*that, oddly enough,*
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*was worn by a cat.*
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*But soon enough*
*we will get to all that.*
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*In the valley that stretches*
*from this hill to that hill,*
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*a city is nestled...*
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*that city is Anville.*
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- [Kid] Hurry up!
We'll miss the movie!
- Any more tutti-frutti?
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I'll check.
Thanks!
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[NarratorContinues]
*It's a town that's not huge,*
*but quite big enough...*
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*for buyers and sellers*
*to sell and buy stuff,*
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*from shoes and shirts...*
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*and elongated ladders...*
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*to sailboats and gibble-grated*
*berry-juice bladders.*
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[Horn Honks]
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*So ourstory begins*
*at the corner*
*ofMain and Montroob...*
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*in the spotless*
*real estate offiice...*
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*run by Hank Humberfloob.*
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[Woman]
*Humberfloob Real Estate. How can*
*we make yourdreams come true?*
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*[People Chattering]*
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What do you mean,
you're leaving?
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You're a babysitter.
Babysitters don't leave. They sit.
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Baby-leavers leave.
I'm sorry. I really
gotta go, Miss Walden.
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Well, I need to come home
right away.
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All right.
Thank you, Amy.
Sorry.
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[Sighs]
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Attention, everyone!
It's 9:02.
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Staff meeting!
Staff meeting!
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[All Gasping, Murmuring]
*Look alive, everyone.!*
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First I'd like to
welcome aboard...
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our newest member
of the Humberfloob family,
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Jim McFlinnagan!
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- Mr. Humberfloob,
I wanted to thank you...
- [All Gasping]
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Fired.
I beg your pardon?
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Fired.
B-But l...
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Fired!
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One, two, three,
four, fiive, six, seven,
eight, nine, 10!
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As you know, tonight is
our bimonthly"meet and greet" party.
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Tonight's host is...
Joan Walden.
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This is where people can
meet our real estate agents...
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in an informal,
yet hygienic setting.
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Mr. Humberfloob,
I have to get home to my kids.
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Ah, yes.
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Your children.
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Joan, let me make this
perfectly clear.
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If your house
is as messy as last time,
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you're fiired!
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*[Employees Gasping,*
Murmuring]
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That's pretty clear,
Mr. Humberfloob.
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Don't worry. I promise.
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My kids'll be
on their best behavior.
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Great.
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*[Phone Rings]*
[Woman]
*Humberfloob Real Estate.*
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*How can we make*
*yourdreams come true?*
*Please hold.*
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[Narrator]
*Lfyou leave Humberfloob's*
*and turn left onto Main,*
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*three miles down*
*you'll fiind Lipplapper Lane,*
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*a pleasant-enough street*
*in a pleasant-enough way...*
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*where a neighbor greeted neighbor*
*with a neighborly"Hey.!"*
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Hey!
Hey!
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*Here the hedges were hedged,*
*the weeds were all weeded,*
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*and lawns were mowed daily,*
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*twice daily ifneeded.*
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*And at the end*
*ofthis street,*
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*in a house like any other,*
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*something magical*
*would happen...*
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*to a sisterand her brother.*
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[Barking]
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[Barks]
Shh! Nevins!
Stealth mode.
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Today's to-do list.
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Number one:
Make to-do list.
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Number two:
Practice coloring.
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Number three:
Research graduate schools.
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Number four:
Be spontaneous.
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Number fiive:
Create lasting
childhood memories.
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*And numbersix:*
*Amend will.*
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What is he doing?
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[Sighs]
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[Whines]
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[Beeps]
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Number 10:
Make tomorrow's to-do list.
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Ladies and gentlemen!
*[Nevins Barking]*
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Nevins,
your attention, please.
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You are about to witness
the third most spectacular stunt...
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ever performed
under this roof!
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Do you know how hard it's getting
to tell people that we're related?
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Relax.
I'll put everything back.
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[Whining]
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And now,
for the indoor stair luge!
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Indoor stair luge?
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I'll have to add this one
to my list.
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Go have no fun
somewhere else.
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*It... is... showtime.!*
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- [Whimpers]
- [Grunts]
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Whoa.!
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[Yelling]
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- Aah!
- Yeah!
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[Groans]
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*- [Woman] Oh, my word.!*
- [Nevins Barking]
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Nevins!
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*Nevins, come back.!*
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Hey, Mom. What's up?
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You are so lucky
you didn't ruin this dress.
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Mom, I know
you're angry,
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but there's something
you need to know.
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This was all Sally's fault.
Oh, really?
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And how, exactly,
was it Sally's fault?
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Give me a minute.
I'm workin' on it.
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Save it, Conrad.
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Why today? Why did you
have to pick today
to destroy the house?
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You know
what's happening today.
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I tried to tell him, Mom.
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"Mom's throwing
a very important party," I said.
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"All ofher important
clients will be here."
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But he went right ahead
and wrecked the house
and let Nevins get away.
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Now, again, I hope
you're going to ground him.
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Yes, Sally, for a week, but
that's none of your business.
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Aweek?
Come on. Two days.
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I asked you to do
one thing today, Conrad...
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keep the house
clean.
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Do you know how frustrating it is
that you're always doing
the exact opposite of what I say?
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*Knock, knock, knock.*
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[Growling]
Someone lose a dog?
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*I found him next door...*
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in my yard... again.
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You are a saint.
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And here I thought
you were only dating me
for my good looks.
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Lucky us.
Larry Quinn is here.
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*Hey-a, sport.*
*Call me Lawrence.*
Okay?
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You rescued Nevins!
Thanks, Lawrence!
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It was my pleasure, Sally.
Anything for my little princess.
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Oh, I don't wanna be a princess.
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In a constitutional monarchy
parliament has all the real power.
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I see.
Okay, that's great.
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Uh, look, pal, be a sport.
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Why don't you go
tidy up the living room.
Okay...dude?
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I don't have to listen to you, Larry.
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Conrad,
do what Lawrence says.
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Have you given some thought
about the Wilhelm Academy?
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You mean the Colonel Wilhelm
Military Academy forTroubled Youth?
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That's the one, Joan.
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I'm not sure
it's right for Conrad.
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Oh, Joan, Joan.
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Joan, Joan, Joan.
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I have so much respect
foryou, Joan.
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Single mother, careerwoman,
raising two children on your own,
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and still fiinding time
to be the best darned
real estate agent in town.
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I know how hard it is, Joan.
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It is hard.
Oh... I know.
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*And I know*
*how hard you're trying.*
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This is a once-in-a-lifetime
proposition,
and you must act now.
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The Colonel Wilhelm
Military Academy
forTroubled Youth...
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is what we call in the sales game
a win-win scenario.
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A top-flight military school,
and it's only... eight hours away.
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*[Phone Rings]*
Oh, the phone.
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*[Phone Rings]*
00:10:04.400 --> 00:10:06.300
I heard what you said.
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I'm not going to military school, Larry.
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Look, buddy,
00:10:11.000 --> 00:10:13.900
I know I'm not your dad...
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and this is probably
really strange foryou...
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your neighbor's
dating your mom.
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But here's the thing, son.
Come here.
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I don't like you either.
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But I'm gonna
marry your mom.
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And if it was up to me,
you'd be at military school today.
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I'm not going
to military school.
Ohh!
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I think you're gonna love it.
00:10:36.500 --> 00:10:38.400
It's just like summer camp,
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except with brutal forced marches...
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and soul-crushing discipline.
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And one more thing...
It's Lawrence,
you snot-nosed son of a...
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wonderful woman
who I'm absolutely crazy about!
[Grunting] Oww!
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Gosh, I love children!
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Oh, Joan,
I didn't see you there.
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Would you be a doll
and help me bring up chairs
from the basement?
00:10:57.000 --> 00:10:59.600
Nothing would give me
more pleasure, Joan,
but I do have to run.
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I have a very important
sales conference downtown.
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Oh. Okay.
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- Well, I'll see you at the party tonight.
- Sure.
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Mom, that guy's a total phony.
You can't let Larry...
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It's Lawrence, Conrad.
*[Doorbell Rings]*
00:11:36.900 --> 00:11:39.400
Kate's Catering.
I'm here to do your party tonight.
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Oh, hi.
Where's Kate?
00:11:42.200 --> 00:11:45.300
I'm Kate.
Oh. Okay.
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Right this way, Kate.
00:11:47.400 --> 00:11:49.000
Mom, you've gotta
listen to me...
*[Phone Ringing]*
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Quiet!
Two weeks ago
you said you would...
00:11:51.700 --> 00:11:53.900
[Joan Screams]
I "specialed" it.
See?
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Quiet!
Nevins!
00:11:57.200 --> 00:11:59.200
[Ringing Continues]
I said quiet!
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[Ringing]
00:12:02.800 --> 00:12:06.900
Joan Walden Real Estate.
Be it ever so humble,
there's no place likeJoan.
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This is Mr. Humberfloob.
00:12:09.200 --> 00:12:13.000
- Oh, hi, Mr. Humberfloob.
- Joan, I need you to come back to the offiice.
00:12:13.100 --> 00:12:15.400
- Today?
*- Yes, Joan.*
00:12:15.500 --> 00:12:18.100
- No problem?
- No problem at all.
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Great!
00:12:20.200 --> 00:12:22.600
- [Gasps]
- What's going on, Mommy?
00:12:22.700 --> 00:12:26.500
Mommy has to go
back to the offiice.
00:12:26.600 --> 00:12:29.300
Oh! I hope Mrs. Kwan
can babysit.
00:12:29.400 --> 00:12:32.000
- Not Mrs. Kwan!
*- [Doorbell Rings]*
00:12:34.300 --> 00:12:36.200
Oh!
Hi, Mrs. Kwan.
00:12:36.300 --> 00:12:38.200
Hi.
I'm running late.
00:12:38.300 --> 00:12:41.200
Thanks for babysitting
on such short notice.
Mmm, yeah.
00:12:41.300 --> 00:12:43.300
Okay, Mrs. Kwan.
00:12:43.400 --> 00:12:44.800
Oh-oh-oh!
00:12:44.900 --> 00:12:47.600
I'll be back
in a couple ofhours.
Hi.
00:12:47.700 --> 00:12:50.300
*Conrad's grounded,*
*so no video games.*
00:12:50.500 --> 00:12:52.400
Sally?
*Last chance.*
00:12:52.500 --> 00:12:55.500
If you wanna make cupcakes,
I can take you to
your friend Ginny's house.
00:12:55.600 --> 00:12:57.500
- [Growling]
*- Ginny's not my friend anymore.*
00:12:57.600 --> 00:13:00.300
*Last time we made cupcakes*
*she wanted to be the head chef.*
00:13:00.400 --> 00:13:02.300
I'm the head chef.
00:13:02.400 --> 00:13:04.100
What about Denise, then?
00:13:04.200 --> 00:13:07.000
She talked back to me,
so I ordered her
not to speak to me anymore.
00:13:07.100 --> 00:13:10.200
- And you don't like bossy?
- I won't tolerate it.
00:13:10.300 --> 00:13:11.900
Right.
00:13:11.900 --> 00:13:14.800
Well, if you're both staying,
remember the rules.
00:13:14.900 --> 00:13:18.000
Conrad: No playing ball
in the house, no fiighting,
00:13:18.100 --> 00:13:20.000
no answering the phone,
"City morgue."
00:13:20.100 --> 00:13:22.000
Mommy,
can't I have some rules?
00:13:23.600 --> 00:13:25.600
No chewing tobacco.
00:13:25.700 --> 00:13:27.700
Thanks, Mom.
You have my word.
00:13:27.800 --> 00:13:33.100
And absolutely no one
sets foot in the living room, or else.
00:13:33.200 --> 00:13:36.800
*Orelse what?*
*You're gonna do what Larry said*
*and send me to military school?*
00:13:36.900 --> 00:13:40.300
Maybe if you'd just behave,
I wouldn't have to consider military school.
00:13:40.400 --> 00:13:42.400
I wish I could trust you.
00:13:44.000 --> 00:13:46.000
I wish I had a different mom.
00:13:46.100 --> 00:13:49.500
Well, sometimes
I wish the same thing.
00:13:49.600 --> 00:13:51.600
[DoorOpens]
00:13:53.500 --> 00:13:55.500
[DoorSlams]
00:14:05.500 --> 00:14:07.400
Mmm.
00:14:12.800 --> 00:14:15.200
Good luck with your meeting.
00:14:24.800 --> 00:14:26.000
*[Car DoorCloses]*
00:14:30.200 --> 00:14:32.600
[Grunting]
00:14:38.400 --> 00:14:41.800
*Children, would you like*
*to watch television with me?*
00:14:41.900 --> 00:14:46.300
- We don't have to tell your mother.
*- [TV: Channel Changing]*
00:14:46.400 --> 00:14:49.500
- [Speaking Chinese]
- [Yelling]
00:14:53.700 --> 00:14:56.800
[Together]
Taiwanese parliament.
*[TV: Yelling, Blows Landing]*
00:14:56.900 --> 00:15:00.600
You tell them, Kwi-Chang!
No more big government!
*[TV: Karate Yells]*
00:15:00.800 --> 00:15:02.500
*Rip his heart out.!*
00:15:02.600 --> 00:15:05.600
*[TV: Blows Landing,*
*Yelling Continue]*
00:15:10.200 --> 00:15:12.100
[Snoring]
00:15:12.200 --> 00:15:14.400
[Whimpers]
00:15:15.500 --> 00:15:17.700
Hit me!
[Sighs]
00:15:20.000 --> 00:15:22.400
[Narrator]
*So they slumped in theirchairs,*
00:15:22.500 --> 00:15:24.600
*too glum to complain,*
00:15:24.600 --> 00:15:28.200
*and to make matters worse,*
*it started to rain.*
00:15:28.300 --> 00:15:30.500
[Butterfly Yelps]
00:15:31.600 --> 00:15:33.500
*They sat in the house...*
00:15:33.600 --> 00:15:36.000
*on that cold, cold, wet day...*
00:15:36.200 --> 00:15:38.100
*with no fun to have...*
00:15:38.200 --> 00:15:40.100
*and no games to play.*
00:15:40.200 --> 00:15:42.200
*They couldjust*
*stare out the window...*
00:15:42.300 --> 00:15:44.500
*or perhaps get a nap in,*
00:15:44.600 --> 00:15:46.800
*and hope that something,*
00:15:46.900 --> 00:15:48.800
anything *might happen.*
00:15:48.900 --> 00:15:50.500
Quit bothering
the fiish.
00:15:50.600 --> 00:15:53.000
I know.
Quit bothering the fiish.
00:15:53.100 --> 00:15:54.500
Spit hand!
Oh, gross!
00:15:54.600 --> 00:15:59.000
Get that away from me!
Get it away!
00:15:59.100 --> 00:16:01.600
*[Loud Bump]*
[Narrator]
*Then something went bump.*
00:16:01.700 --> 00:16:03.500
- What was that?
- [Barks]
00:16:03.600 --> 00:16:06.900
*How that bump*
*made themjump.*
*[Nevins Continues Barking]*
00:16:07.000 --> 00:16:10.200
*[Loud Bumping Continues]*
I think it came
from the closet.
00:16:14.000 --> 00:16:16.100
*[Loud Crash]*
00:16:38.900 --> 00:16:40.800
[Grunts]
00:16:41.900 --> 00:16:43.800
Conrad?
00:16:43.900 --> 00:16:46.200
Conrad.
00:16:47.300 --> 00:16:49.800
Come on, Conrad.
00:16:50.000 --> 00:16:52.000
[Screams]
00:16:52.100 --> 00:16:53.900
[Laughing]
00:16:55.300 --> 00:16:57.200
You shouldn't scare people.
00:16:57.300 --> 00:17:00.300
You should've seen
the look on your face.
It was like you saw a monster...
00:17:00.400 --> 00:17:02.700
A monster? Where?
00:17:04.700 --> 00:17:08.000
That could've gone better.
[Wheezing Laugh]
00:17:08.100 --> 00:17:11.100
[Both Screaming]
00:17:13.700 --> 00:17:15.600
[Sally]
*What was that?*
*[Conrad] I don't know.*
00:17:15.800 --> 00:17:17.900
*Looked like*
*a humongous cat.*
00:17:19.000 --> 00:17:20.200
"Humongous"?
00:17:20.300 --> 00:17:23.800
I prefer the term "big-boned" or"jolly."
Now, what are we hiding from?
00:17:24.000 --> 00:17:25.600
[Chortling]
00:17:25.700 --> 00:17:27.600
[Both Screaming]
00:17:33.000 --> 00:17:34.900
Thatwas a giant cat.
00:17:35.000 --> 00:17:36.900
But that's impossible,
isn't it?
00:17:37.000 --> 00:17:38.900
It's entirely
impossible.
00:17:39.000 --> 00:17:41.400
You know,
I like this hiding place
a lot better.
00:17:41.500 --> 00:17:43.900
They'll never
fiind us here.
00:17:45.300 --> 00:17:47.200
Scream and run.
00:17:47.300 --> 00:17:49.700
[Both Screaming]
And there they go.
00:17:52.900 --> 00:17:54.300
Who are you?
00:17:54.400 --> 00:17:56.400
Who? Me?
00:17:56.600 --> 00:18:00.800
Why, I'm the Cat in the Hat.
There's no doubt about that.
00:18:00.900 --> 00:18:03.300
I'm a "super-fun-diferous" feline...
00:18:03.400 --> 00:18:06.000
who's here to make sure
that you're...
00:18:07.900 --> 00:18:11.600
Meeline? Key lime?
00:18:11.700 --> 00:18:14.600
Turpentine?
00:18:14.700 --> 00:18:16.600
I got nothin'.
00:18:16.700 --> 00:18:20.100
I'm not so good with the rhyming.
Not really, no.
00:18:21.500 --> 00:18:23.800
Look, I'm a cat
that can talk.
00:18:24.000 --> 00:18:27.400
That should be enough
foryou people!
[Muttering]
00:18:27.600 --> 00:18:30.200
*I can talk.!*
*I'm a cat.! Yes.!*
[Chortling]
00:18:30.400 --> 00:18:32.100
Where did you come from?
00:18:33.800 --> 00:18:35.700
Hmm, how do I put this?
00:18:35.800 --> 00:18:40.200
When a mommy cat and a daddy cat
love each othervery much,
00:18:40.300 --> 00:18:42.200
they decide that...
00:18:42.300 --> 00:18:45.700
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Where did you come from?
00:18:45.800 --> 00:18:48.600
My place!
Where do you think?
[Snickering]
00:18:49.800 --> 00:18:51.800
No, how did you get here?
00:18:51.900 --> 00:18:53.800
I drove!
00:18:53.900 --> 00:18:57.800
Look, I've been here two whole minutes,
and no one has offered me a drink.
00:18:57.900 --> 00:18:59.300
Harumph!
00:18:59.400 --> 00:19:04.100
- Sorry, Mr. Cat.
Would you like some milk?
- Milk? Ecch! No!
00:19:04.200 --> 00:19:07.800
Lactose intolerant.
Gums up the works. Oy.
00:19:07.900 --> 00:19:10.100
You'll thank me later.
00:19:10.200 --> 00:19:12.800
[Wheezing, Chortling]
00:19:12.900 --> 00:19:15.300
*- [Singer Laughing]*
Wipeout.!
- Hello!
00:19:15.400 --> 00:19:18.700
@¤@¤[SurfRock]
Surf s up!
[Chuckles] Yeah!
00:19:18.800 --> 00:19:22.800
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Yee-hee-hee!
00:19:26.100 --> 00:19:28.500
Nice spread you got here.
00:19:28.600 --> 00:19:31.000
Homina-homina-homina-homina!
00:19:31.100 --> 00:19:33.100
Who is this?
00:19:34.900 --> 00:19:36.800
Ohh!
00:19:37.900 --> 00:19:39.800
That's my mom.
00:19:39.900 --> 00:19:41.400
Awkward, yeah.
00:19:41.400 --> 00:19:44.800
Yes, this place will do
quite nicely, actually. Yeah.
00:19:44.900 --> 00:19:47.500
Although those drapes
are a train wreck.
00:19:47.600 --> 00:19:49.500
[Chortling]
00:19:49.600 --> 00:19:53.000
[Snoring]
And this is the lumpiest couch
I ever sat on.
00:19:53.100 --> 00:19:56.200
Who is this dreadfully
uncomfortable woman?
00:19:56.300 --> 00:19:58.700
*Get offher.*
*That's our babysitter.*
00:19:58.800 --> 00:20:00.700
What the... Babysitter?
00:20:00.900 --> 00:20:03.500
You don't need one of those,
do ya?
00:20:08.600 --> 00:20:10.800
*Let me get this straight.*
00:20:10.900 --> 00:20:13.100
You pay this woman...
00:20:13.200 --> 00:20:15.100
to sit on babies?
00:20:15.200 --> 00:20:17.200
That's disgusting!
00:20:18.600 --> 00:20:21.600
I'd do it for nothing!
[Laughing Loudly]
00:20:21.700 --> 00:20:23.700
Hmm!
00:20:25.200 --> 00:20:29.400
Now, let's see
what the old "phunometer"
has to say.
00:20:29.500 --> 00:20:32.100
- "Phunometer"?
- Yeah. It measures
how fun you are.
00:20:32.200 --> 00:20:34.400
[Chortling]
00:20:38.600 --> 00:20:40.600
Hi.
00:20:42.000 --> 00:20:43.900
[Bell Dings]
Huh?
00:20:46.300 --> 00:20:48.400
Ohh.
00:20:50.700 --> 00:20:53.600
*Ah. Control freak.*
Yeah.
00:20:53.700 --> 00:20:56.300
Now you.
00:20:57.700 --> 00:20:59.600
[Whispers]
Hi. How are ya?
00:20:59.600 --> 00:21:01.500
- [Bell Dings]
- Whoa!
00:21:05.400 --> 00:21:07.900
[Whimpering]
00:21:08.000 --> 00:21:09.900
Oh.
00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:11.800
Tap it.
00:21:13.000 --> 00:21:15.400
Listen, kid,
you can tap it with a hammer,
00:21:15.500 --> 00:21:17.400
it ain't gonna change.
00:21:18.600 --> 00:21:19.700
Just as I suspected.
00:21:19.700 --> 00:21:24.400
You guys are both out of whack.
You're a control freak,
and you're a rule-breaker.
00:21:24.500 --> 00:21:27.700
That'll be $700.
Who's your insurance carrier?
00:21:27.800 --> 00:21:31.200
- So, what do we do?
- Well, there are two treatments
I'd recommend.
00:21:31.300 --> 00:21:35.100
One is a series of painful shots
injected into your abdomen and kneecap.
00:21:35.200 --> 00:21:36.900
*And the other...*
00:21:37.000 --> 00:21:39.600
involves a musical number!
00:21:39.700 --> 00:21:42.100
@¤@¤[Orchestra:Fanfare]
@ Me-Me-Me-Meow @
00:21:42.300 --> 00:21:43.800
How many shots?
00:21:44.000 --> 00:21:47.500
[Wheezing]
"How many shots?"
Aren't you precious?
00:21:48.300 --> 00:21:51.200
[Gasps]
00:21:58.700 --> 00:22:01.600
Maestro!
@¤@¤[Orchestra:Introduction]
00:22:03.400 --> 00:22:05.400
@ I know it is wet @
00:22:05.500 --> 00:22:08.200
@ And the sun is not sunny @
[Thunderclap]
00:22:08.900 --> 00:22:13.200
@ But we can have lots of
good fun that is funny @
00:22:13.300 --> 00:22:14.700
[Both Groan]
00:22:14.800 --> 00:22:16.300
@ It's fun to have fun @
00:22:16.400 --> 00:22:22.000
@ But you got to know how @
00:22:22.200 --> 00:22:24.100
[Gagging]
00:22:24.200 --> 00:22:26.500
- [Vomits, Liquid Splatters]
- [Both Gasp, Groan]
00:22:26.600 --> 00:22:28.500
Hair ball.
00:22:30.400 --> 00:22:34.600
@ I know lots of good tricks
and I'll... @
00:22:34.700 --> 00:22:36.300
*Stop this right now.!*
Huh?
00:22:36.400 --> 00:22:38.600
- Who said that?
- Me!
00:22:38.700 --> 00:22:40.100
Remember? The fiish?
00:22:40.200 --> 00:22:43.700
Came home in a Baggie,
loved me for two weeks, and then nothing!
00:22:43.800 --> 00:22:46.300
- The fiish is talking!
- Well, sure, he can talk.
00:22:46.400 --> 00:22:49.500
But is he saying anything?
No, not really. No.
00:22:49.600 --> 00:22:51.500
[Fish]
*Hey, Socks, can it.!*
00:22:51.700 --> 00:22:53.500
This cat should not be here.
He should not be about.
00:22:53.600 --> 00:22:55.400
He should not be here
when your mother is out.
00:22:55.500 --> 00:22:59.200
Come on, kids!
You gonna listen to him?
He drinks where he pees!
00:23:02.500 --> 00:23:05.500
@¤@¤[Salsa]
00:23:07.900 --> 00:23:10.600
@There was this cat I knew
back home where I was bred @
00:23:10.700 --> 00:23:13.600
@ He never listened to
a single thing his mother said @
00:23:13.700 --> 00:23:16.300
*@¤He never used the litter box*
*He made a mess in the hall @¤*
00:23:16.400 --> 00:23:17.700
@That's why they sent him
to a vet @
00:23:17.800 --> 00:23:20.300
@To cut offboth his ba... @
00:23:20.400 --> 00:23:22.400
ba... ba...
00:23:22.600 --> 00:23:25.700
@ Boy, that wasn't
fun, fun, fun @
00:23:25.900 --> 00:23:29.600
@ He never learns
You can have fun, fun, fun @
But less is more!
00:23:29.700 --> 00:23:32.800
@They may ship you off to school
so rein it in a little @
00:23:32.900 --> 00:23:34.900
@ We can't spell "fun"
without "U" in the middle @
00:23:35.000 --> 00:23:39.800
*Human, this cat is currently in violation*
*of... 17 ofyour mother's rules.!*
00:23:39.900 --> 00:23:41.100
[Rings]
City morgue!
00:23:41.200 --> 00:23:43.300
- Eighteen!
- [Laughing]
00:23:44.500 --> 00:23:47.600
*[Crowd Cheering,*
Applauding]
00:23:49.500 --> 00:23:51.500
- Olé!
*- [Bull Growling]*
00:23:51.600 --> 00:23:53.300
Ooh!
00:23:53.400 --> 00:23:55.600
[Screaming]
00:23:59.600 --> 00:24:02.500
@ You can juggle work and play
but you have to know the way @
00:24:02.600 --> 00:24:05.400
@ You can keep afloat a wish
like the way I do this fiish @
00:24:05.500 --> 00:24:08.000
*@¤ You can be a happy fella*
*Someone throw me that umbrella @¤*
00:24:08.100 --> 00:24:10.800
@ And that rake, that cake
Life's what you make it @
00:24:10.900 --> 00:24:12.700
@ So have fun, fun, fun @
00:24:12.800 --> 00:24:15.600
@ Go insane and have
some fun, fun, fun @
00:24:15.700 --> 00:24:18.400
@Just look at me
Fun, fun, fun @
00:24:18.500 --> 00:24:21.200
@ No more rain
Look, it's the sun, sun, sun @
00:24:21.300 --> 00:24:25.100
@ So can't you see
I'm as happy as a clam
I'm as fiit as a fiiddle @
00:24:25.200 --> 00:24:27.000
@ Yeah, the dogs
may bark about you @
00:24:27.100 --> 00:24:28.600
@ And the purebred chaps
may doubt you @
00:24:28.700 --> 00:24:30.600
[Fish]
*Getting motion sickness.!*
00:24:30.700 --> 00:24:33.400
Milk? Big mistake.
00:24:33.600 --> 00:24:36.100
@ But remember this
You can't have fun without "U" @
00:24:36.200 --> 00:24:38.100
I can't breathe!
Ohh!
00:24:38.200 --> 00:24:40.600
Whoa!
00:24:40.700 --> 00:24:44.400
I knew that milk would
come back to haunt me.
Help! Help!
00:24:44.500 --> 00:24:47.700
- [Loud Burp]
- [Groaning]
00:24:48.900 --> 00:24:51.500
[Yelling]
00:24:51.600 --> 00:24:53.700
[Grunting]
00:24:53.800 --> 00:25:00.000
@"U" in the middle @@
00:25:00.100 --> 00:25:01.800
[Gulps]
00:25:01.900 --> 00:25:03.700
[Panting, Chuckling]
00:25:03.800 --> 00:25:06.200
- Bravo, Cat.
- Huh?
00:25:06.300 --> 00:25:09.400
These children are smart enough
not to fall foryour MTV-style flash...
00:25:09.600 --> 00:25:11.500
at the expense of content
and moral values.
00:25:11.600 --> 00:25:14.300
That was wicked cool!
Do it again!
00:25:14.400 --> 00:25:18.000
I'd love to, but Shamu is right...
I really should be going.
00:25:18.100 --> 00:25:20.700
- No, don't go!
- No, I should go.
00:25:20.800 --> 00:25:23.700
I should let you and the fiish
have all your fun conjugating verbs,
00:25:23.800 --> 00:25:26.100
cleaning your room,
doing long division.
00:25:26.100 --> 00:25:28.700
No, you have to stay!
00:25:28.800 --> 00:25:31.300
All right, I'll stay.
Oh, yeah!
*[Conrad] Yeah.!*
00:25:31.400 --> 00:25:34.300
But if I'm gonna stay,
there's something I wanna show you.
00:25:35.100 --> 00:25:37.000
Something magical...
00:25:37.100 --> 00:25:39.700
and full of wonder.
00:25:41.400 --> 00:25:44.700
- It's called a contract.
- You want us to sign this?
00:25:44.800 --> 00:25:47.800
- Just a formality, really. Yeah.
- Who are they?
00:25:49.500 --> 00:25:52.700
Magical time-traveling elves.
00:25:52.800 --> 00:25:56.200
[Chortling]
Yeah. Magic.
00:25:59.000 --> 00:26:00.700
Okay, they're my lawyers.
00:26:00.800 --> 00:26:03.700
Liability issues, litigious society,
frivolous lawsuits.
00:26:03.800 --> 00:26:05.300
You understand.
00:26:05.300 --> 00:26:08.500
Basically, this contract guarantees
you can have all the fun you want...
00:26:08.600 --> 00:26:10.800
and nothing bad's
ever gonna happen.
00:26:11.100 --> 00:26:13.100
- All the fun we want?
- Uh-yeah!
00:26:13.200 --> 00:26:15.400
- Nothing bad will happen?
- Uh-no!
00:26:15.500 --> 00:26:19.800
Come on, Sal,
for once in your life
try something spontaneous.
00:26:22.200 --> 00:26:26.000
It goes against
my better instincts, but...
00:26:26.100 --> 00:26:27.800
fiine.
00:26:27.900 --> 00:26:30.000
Beautiful.
Initial here.
00:26:30.100 --> 00:26:32.300
And here. And here.
00:26:32.400 --> 00:26:34.300
Not here!
00:26:34.400 --> 00:26:36.000
[Wheezes]
00:26:36.100 --> 00:26:37.600
Turn it over.
00:26:37.700 --> 00:26:39.700
This is nothing.
00:26:39.800 --> 00:26:42.000
[Clears Throat]
Scratch this.
00:26:42.200 --> 00:26:43.600
Smell that!
Terrifiic.
00:26:43.700 --> 00:26:45.700
Yadee-yadee-yadee.
00:26:45.700 --> 00:26:48.700
Sign the bottom.
*[Pencil Scratching On Paper]*
00:26:48.900 --> 00:26:50.900
You're it!
Okay, gimme fiive!
00:26:53.900 --> 00:26:56.200
Four.
00:26:56.300 --> 00:26:58.200
[Chortling]
00:26:58.300 --> 00:26:59.500
Let's get this party
started! Uh-huh!
00:27:00.800 --> 00:27:03.900
Hey, check out this room!
[Laughing]
00:27:04.000 --> 00:27:05.900
What now?
00:27:06.000 --> 00:27:08.900
Mom says we're not
allowed in the living room
today, or else.
00:27:09.000 --> 00:27:12.400
*She's worried we'll mess up the couches*
*byjumpin'on 'em orsomethin;*
00:27:12.500 --> 00:27:15.900
And she's right.
You can't jump on these.
00:27:16.000 --> 00:27:19.500
Not like this.
They need some adjustment.
Yee-haw!
00:27:19.600 --> 00:27:21.900
[Chuckling]
00:27:22.000 --> 00:27:25.200
Let's take a look
under the hood.
00:27:25.300 --> 00:27:28.200
[Spits] Yeah.
[Chuckles]
00:27:28.300 --> 00:27:30.600
Just doin' my job.
[Fart]
00:27:30.700 --> 00:27:32.600
Sorry.
What have we got here?
00:27:32.700 --> 00:27:34.800
Whew.
00:27:36.400 --> 00:27:38.500
Here we go.
[Chortles]
00:27:38.600 --> 00:27:42.200
It's oversized.
That's unusual.
00:27:42.300 --> 00:27:44.200
Here it is.
[Grunts]
00:27:44.300 --> 00:27:45.400
[Elephant Trumpets]
00:27:45.400 --> 00:27:49.200
Down, Simba!
Down, Simba!
Get outta here!
00:27:50.400 --> 00:27:52.700
Spray me, would ya?
You...
00:27:52.800 --> 00:27:55.200
[Whimpering]
[Trumpeting Continues]
00:27:55.300 --> 00:27:57.500
[Choking]
00:28:00.300 --> 00:28:02.200
*[Blows Landing]*
*[Elephant Whimpering]*
00:28:03.400 --> 00:28:05.300
[Panting]
00:28:05.400 --> 00:28:09.000
*- [Elephant Trumpets]*
- Thanks for the help.
00:28:10.200 --> 00:28:13.400
Back in a second.
Who's your couch mechanic?
00:28:13.500 --> 00:28:16.100
You oughta call
Mr. Catwrench.
00:28:16.200 --> 00:28:19.300
*[Grinding, Rumbling]*
Oww! My fur!
My fur! My fur!
00:28:19.400 --> 00:28:22.000
[Groaning, Shouting]
00:28:24.300 --> 00:28:27.700
That oughta do it.
Whoo!
00:28:29.000 --> 00:28:30.900
[Chortling]
00:28:35.000 --> 00:28:37.000
[Laughing]
00:28:41.200 --> 00:28:43.700
Come on, kids.
I could use a little company.
00:28:43.800 --> 00:28:45.700
What about Mom's party?
00:28:45.800 --> 00:28:47.900
What about it?
We signed the contract.
00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:51.300
Wha-hoo!
[Laughing] Yeah!
00:28:52.400 --> 00:28:54.300
One cushion left,
Sally.
00:28:54.400 --> 00:28:57.300
She'll never do it.
She doesn't know
how to have fun.
00:28:57.400 --> 00:29:01.700
*Fun? Sally,*
*you're betterthan fun.*
*Fun is beneath you.*
00:29:01.800 --> 00:29:03.300
Remember
what your mother told you...
00:29:03.300 --> 00:29:06.300
No one sets foot
in the living room...
*[Conrad Shouting]*
00:29:06.300 --> 00:29:08.900
You know what?
Let's just watch some flashbacks.
00:29:09.000 --> 00:29:13.900
[Voice Slowed Down]
Absolutely no one sets foot
in the living room, or else.
00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:17.300
You're fiired... fiired... fiired...
00:29:17.400 --> 00:29:20.200
fiired... fiired... fiired...
00:29:20.300 --> 00:29:24.400
[Takes Deep Breath]
Fiired... fiired... fiired... fiired...
00:29:24.500 --> 00:29:26.700
And that's why...
[Groans]
00:29:26.800 --> 00:29:28.200
Oww!
00:29:29.700 --> 00:29:32.400
*This is where*
*they buried my brother.!*
00:29:32.500 --> 00:29:34.000
*[Cat Laughing]*
[Conrad]
Yeah.!
00:29:34.100 --> 00:29:36.700
[All Laughing]
Yippee!
Oh, yeah!
00:29:36.800 --> 00:29:40.100
This is amazing!
Like being
in the circus!
00:29:40.200 --> 00:29:42.100
Yeah, but without
those tortured animals...
00:29:42.200 --> 00:29:44.600
or drunken clowns
that have hepatitis.
00:29:44.700 --> 00:29:47.300
See, kids, I told you
we could have fun!
00:29:47.400 --> 00:29:50.900
*[Laughing Continues]*
*[Conrad] The best thing is,*
*no one will ever...*
00:29:51.900 --> 00:29:53.800
know.
00:29:53.900 --> 00:29:57.300
Judas Priest!
I can't believe what I'm seeing!
00:29:57.400 --> 00:30:01.800
Oh, Mr. Quinn,
I was just telling Conrad
to get off the couch.
00:30:01.900 --> 00:30:03.800
Bad, Conrad!
Bad!
00:30:03.900 --> 00:30:05.800
Sally,
00:30:05.900 --> 00:30:07.700
baby, angel, princess,
00:30:08.600 --> 00:30:12.600
I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret, okay?
00:30:12.700 --> 00:30:14.900
Nobody likes a suck-up!
00:30:18.000 --> 00:30:20.300
[Quinn Laughing]
00:30:25.500 --> 00:30:28.000
Where's the cat?
I don't know.
00:30:31.900 --> 00:30:34.900
[Burps]
Ohh!
00:30:35.100 --> 00:30:37.000
Good bread.
00:30:38.200 --> 00:30:40.800
What are you two
lookin' at?
00:30:46.800 --> 00:30:49.400
[Sneezing]
00:30:49.500 --> 00:30:51.400
Is there a cat in here?
00:30:51.500 --> 00:30:53.500
[Sneezing Continues]
00:30:53.600 --> 00:30:56.100
I'm gonna...
You're gonna...
00:30:56.200 --> 00:30:58.900
I have to...
[Sneezes]
00:31:00.200 --> 00:31:02.200
[Sneezes]
Get out ofhere.
00:31:02.300 --> 00:31:04.200
[Sneezes Twice]
00:31:04.300 --> 00:31:06.200
[Both Laughing]
00:31:08.000 --> 00:31:11.200
See, kids, I told you.
Stick with me, it'll all work out.
00:31:11.400 --> 00:31:14.900
[Sneezes]
Oh, no! Ohh!
[Chortling]
00:31:15.100 --> 00:31:18.700
Little-known fact...
cats always land on their tushy.
00:31:18.800 --> 00:31:22.200
- I thought they always
landed on their feet.
- Oh, sure, now you tell me.
00:31:22.300 --> 00:31:23.200
Harumph!
[Chortling]
00:31:24.500 --> 00:31:27.700
- So, kiddo, what do you
want to do for fun?
- I wanna make cupcakes!
00:31:27.800 --> 00:31:31.100
Cupcakes? Oh, yeah!
[Chortling]
To the kitchen!
00:31:31.200 --> 00:31:32.800
[Announcer]
*Live from the kitchen,*
00:31:32.900 --> 00:31:35.700
*the following is*
*a paid commercial announcement*
*forAstounding Products.*
00:31:35.700 --> 00:31:38.100
Hi! Welcome to
*Astounding Products.*
00:31:38.200 --> 00:31:41.300
[Laughing]
00:31:41.400 --> 00:31:44.300
I'm your host,
the guy in the sweaterwho asks
all the obvious questions.
00:31:44.400 --> 00:31:45.800
*[Studio Audience*
Laughing]
00:31:45.900 --> 00:31:50.300
Now, here to tell us
about his astounding product
for making cupcakes,
00:31:50.400 --> 00:31:53.400
all the way
from Cheshire, England,
please welcome...
00:31:53.500 --> 00:31:55.800
Me! Hello!
[Chuckling]
00:31:55.900 --> 00:31:59.600
Now... Hello!
I'm so excited!
00:31:59.700 --> 00:32:01.600
Do you love
making cupcakes,
00:32:01.700 --> 00:32:04.200
but hate all
the hard cupcake work?
00:32:04.300 --> 00:32:06.200
I know I do!
00:32:06.300 --> 00:32:09.500
Well, forget
everything you know
about making cupcakes...
00:32:09.600 --> 00:32:11.600
and say hello...
00:32:12.600 --> 00:32:14.900
to the amazing Kupkake-inator.
00:32:15.000 --> 00:32:17.800
- I'm so excited!
*- [Audience Chuckling]*
00:32:17.900 --> 00:32:19.900
Cupcake-a-what?
00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:21.900
[Cat, Audience]
Kupkake-inator!
00:32:22.000 --> 00:32:25.600
Oh, this amazing device
can instantly make cupcakes...
00:32:25.700 --> 00:32:28.100
out of anything that
you have in the kitchen.
00:32:28.200 --> 00:32:31.000
- Wait a minute.
Did you say"anything"?
- Anything.
00:32:31.100 --> 00:32:33.000
Anything?
Yes, anything.
00:32:33.100 --> 00:32:35.700
Anything?
Anything.
00:32:35.800 --> 00:32:39.200
- Anything?
- I'll get you, and it'll look
like a bloody accident.
00:32:39.300 --> 00:32:41.200
*- [Audience Tittering]*
- Anything.
00:32:41.300 --> 00:32:44.200
Now, take off the lid.
You can put in, I don't know,
a carton of eggs.
00:32:44.300 --> 00:32:46.700
What?
How about
a pack ofhot dogs?
00:32:46.800 --> 00:32:48.700
That's incredible!
Why not some ketchup?
00:32:48.800 --> 00:32:51.100
Yeah, why not?
How about...
I know what you're thinkin'.
00:32:51.300 --> 00:32:53.700
Even a fiire extinguisher.
There we go.
00:32:53.800 --> 00:32:55.700
Hmm?
00:32:55.800 --> 00:32:58.500
Now, close the lid
and Bob's your flippin' uncle!
00:32:58.600 --> 00:33:00.400
What an
astounding product!
00:33:00.500 --> 00:33:02.000
*[Audience Applauding]*
Oh, yeah!
00:33:02.100 --> 00:33:04.900
Open the drawer,
[Bell Dings,
Motor Whirring]
00:33:05.000 --> 00:33:08.700
Fiill the patented
Kupkake-inator tray,
*[Audience Gasping]*
00:33:08.800 --> 00:33:11.600
- Close the drawer,
*- [Audience Continues Gasping]*
00:33:11.700 --> 00:33:14.900
Then place it
in a conventional oven.
00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:17.200
*[Audience Laughing,*
Applauding]
00:33:19.600 --> 00:33:22.000
Delicious cupcakes
are just minutes away.
00:33:22.100 --> 00:33:24.000
Did you just say
"minutes away"?
00:33:24.100 --> 00:33:25.700
[Host, Audience]
That's impossible!
00:33:25.800 --> 00:33:29.000
You're not just wrong,
you're stupid.
Now, wait just a minute...
00:33:29.200 --> 00:33:31.100
And you're ugly,
just like your mum.
00:33:31.300 --> 00:33:33.700
*[Audience Gasping]*
Did you just call
my mother ugly?
00:33:33.900 --> 00:33:36.400
Shut up! I mean it!
I will end you!
00:33:36.500 --> 00:33:38.400
- [Grunts]
- [Audience, Cat Gasping, Groaning]
00:33:38.500 --> 00:33:41.100
Um, Cat.
Your tail.
00:33:41.200 --> 00:33:43.800
What about it?
00:33:43.900 --> 00:33:48.300
Oh, I see! I've chopped it off.
That's interesting, because...
00:33:49.600 --> 00:33:52.800
Son of a bi...
[Beep]
00:33:52.900 --> 00:33:55.600
@¤@¤[Whistling
*"The Girl From Ipanema"]*
00:33:55.700 --> 00:33:58.600
Look, I'm not saying
we're going to sue.
00:33:58.800 --> 00:34:01.000
I'm just saying
we have a case.
00:34:01.100 --> 00:34:03.000
We'll talk later.
Lxnay, ixnay.
00:34:03.100 --> 00:34:05.400
[Wheezes]
Hi.
00:34:05.500 --> 00:34:08.100
Cat, is the oven
supposed to be
making that sound?
00:34:08.200 --> 00:34:10.100
Huh?
00:34:10.200 --> 00:34:13.400
Of course. That means
they're almost done, Conrack.
00:34:13.500 --> 00:34:15.600
- Conrad.
- That's what I said, Condor.
00:34:15.700 --> 00:34:18.200
- Cat!
- Now, that's my name!
00:34:18.300 --> 00:34:21.800
*[Oven Whirring, Rumbling]*
00:34:25.800 --> 00:34:28.100
*[Timer Bell Dings]*
Yep!
00:34:28.200 --> 00:34:30.100
They're done!
00:34:30.300 --> 00:34:32.700
Oh, man!
There's nothing
to worry about.
00:34:32.800 --> 00:34:34.700
I'm sure
they still taste fiine.
00:34:34.800 --> 00:34:36.700
Yecch!
They're horrible!
00:34:36.800 --> 00:34:40.000
Who wants some?
Come on, come on!
[Chortling]
00:34:41.100 --> 00:34:43.000
Oh... my... cod.
00:34:43.100 --> 00:34:44.500
Ohh! Aah!
00:34:44.600 --> 00:34:47.500
Cat, you need to
clean this mess up pronto.
00:34:47.600 --> 00:34:50.800
We have a contract.
All right, I'll try.
00:34:52.300 --> 00:34:55.000
You don't try. You do.
00:34:55.100 --> 00:34:58.000
Yes, ma'am.
Right away, ma'am.
00:34:58.100 --> 00:35:00.800
[Coughs]
I'll be right back.
00:35:00.900 --> 00:35:02.700
Whoa!
[Crash]
00:35:02.800 --> 00:35:04.600
[Chortling]
00:35:05.900 --> 00:35:08.200
[Snoring]
Hi.
How are ya?
00:35:08.300 --> 00:35:10.300
Okay.
[Chortling]
00:35:13.400 --> 00:35:15.600
Look. I'm a girl.
00:35:15.700 --> 00:35:19.200
[Giggling, Purring]
00:35:19.300 --> 00:35:21.400
Stop! That's...
00:35:21.500 --> 00:35:23.100
[Together]
Mom's dress!
00:35:23.200 --> 00:35:26.600
[Gasps]
This fiilthy thing?
00:35:26.700 --> 00:35:28.800
She was gonna wear that tonight,
and you ruined it.
00:35:28.900 --> 00:35:31.900
Honey, it was ruined
when she bought it.
00:35:33.100 --> 00:35:35.000
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
00:35:35.100 --> 00:35:38.000
*I told you*
*all this would happen.!*
00:35:38.100 --> 00:35:41.100
- But no one listens to a fiish!
- Oy.
00:35:41.200 --> 00:35:43.800
*A dog goes "woof-woof"*
*and everybody knows that*
*little Timmy's trapped undera log.*
00:35:43.900 --> 00:35:45.700
*But a fiish speaks*
*in plain English...*
00:35:45.900 --> 00:35:46.500
All right, everyone,
let's just take a deep breath
and calm down.
00:35:50.600 --> 00:35:52.500
[Inhaling, Exhaling]
00:35:52.600 --> 00:35:56.200
*You know who's gonna solve it?*
*Me. I am.*
00:35:56.300 --> 00:35:59.200
I will personally
take care of everything.
00:36:00.500 --> 00:36:02.400
And I know
just the guys to do it.
00:36:02.500 --> 00:36:04.500
[Wheezing]
00:36:07.900 --> 00:36:09.900
[Chortling]
00:36:16.100 --> 00:36:19.700
In this box are two Things.
I will show them to you.
00:36:19.800 --> 00:36:24.000
*Two Things, and I call them*
*Thing One and Thing Two.*
00:36:24.100 --> 00:36:27.500
These Things will not bite you.
They want to have fun.
00:36:27.600 --> 00:36:29.700
So without further ado,
00:36:29.800 --> 00:36:33.100
meet Thing Two
and Thing One!
00:36:33.200 --> 00:36:35.500
[Whooping, Babbling]
00:36:35.600 --> 00:36:37.500
@Ta-da @
00:36:37.600 --> 00:36:40.400
Oh, yeah!
[Chortles]
00:36:40.500 --> 00:36:43.600
Thing One, Conrad, Sally.
Conrad, Sally, Thing One.
00:36:43.800 --> 00:36:45.700
*Thing Two, Conrad, Sally.*
*Conrad, Sally, Thing Two.*
00:36:45.900 --> 00:36:49.000
Thing One, Thing Two.
Thing Two, Thing One.
Conrad, Sally. Sally, Conrad.
00:36:49.200 --> 00:36:51.700
I am the Cat.
Don't belittle me.
00:36:51.900 --> 00:36:53.800
Ah, yes, of course.
00:36:53.900 --> 00:36:56.800
Thing Two would like to
clarify that just because
he wears the number two...
00:36:56.900 --> 00:36:59.400
does not imply in any way
that he's inferior to Thing One.
00:36:59.500 --> 00:37:00.800
And all of the above.
00:37:00.900 --> 00:37:04.500
He says you may feel free
to call him Thing "A," if you like.
00:37:04.600 --> 00:37:07.900
He will also accept SuperThing,
Thing King, Kid Dynamite,
00:37:08.000 --> 00:37:10.700
Chocolate Thun-Da...
or Ben.
[Chuckles] Ben!
00:37:10.800 --> 00:37:13.400
*[Thing OneJabbering]*
00:37:13.500 --> 00:37:16.400
Thing One says
he's Thing One for a reason,
00:37:16.500 --> 00:37:18.900
and some people
should just get used to it.
00:37:19.000 --> 00:37:21.600
It's a Thing thing.
You wouldn't understand.
00:37:21.700 --> 00:37:24.100
[ThingsJabbering,
Arguing]
Okay, enough!
00:37:24.200 --> 00:37:26.400
You are quickly turning into
one of my least favorite Things.
00:37:28.100 --> 00:37:31.000
Listen, Convex,
you probably don't
wanna do that.
00:37:31.100 --> 00:37:33.000
Why not?
It's just a crate.
00:37:33.100 --> 00:37:34.500
This isn't just any old crate.
00:37:34.600 --> 00:37:37.700
It's the Trans-dimensional
Transportolator.
00:37:37.800 --> 00:37:41.000
It's kinda like a doorway
which leads from this world
to my world.
00:37:41.100 --> 00:37:43.400
But it says,
"Made in the Philippines."
00:37:43.500 --> 00:37:46.700
Yes, but not this Philippines.
00:37:46.800 --> 00:37:51.300
*Look, now,*
*I'm not usually a rules guy,*
*but this is a biggie.*
00:37:51.400 --> 00:37:53.400
No opening the crate.
00:37:53.500 --> 00:37:56.500
No lookee, no touchee.
Got it?
00:37:56.700 --> 00:37:59.700
[Thing]
*Mekka-dekka we should*
*settle ourdifferences.*
00:37:59.800 --> 00:38:02.500
[Jabbering]
00:38:03.600 --> 00:38:05.500
[Cat]
*Things, front and center.!*
00:38:05.600 --> 00:38:07.400
Cool.
00:38:07.500 --> 00:38:11.300
All right, Things,
I'm not paying you to
stand around and look pretty.
00:38:11.400 --> 00:38:13.400
*Here's Mom's dress.*
00:38:13.500 --> 00:38:15.400
*[Thing Cackling]*
*Oh.! Mommy's dress.!*
00:38:15.500 --> 00:38:17.600
[BothJabbering, Giggling]
00:38:17.700 --> 00:38:19.600
- [Gasp]
- [Gasp]
00:38:19.700 --> 00:38:22.500
- What about the couch?
- Which couch?
00:38:22.600 --> 00:38:24.600
*The clean one,*
*orthe horribly stained one?*
00:38:24.800 --> 00:38:27.500
- [Wheezing]
- [Jabbering Continues]
00:38:33.600 --> 00:38:36.200
Ho!
[Chortling]
00:38:36.300 --> 00:38:38.200
Mekka-dekka
don't worry!
00:38:39.600 --> 00:38:41.800
Incoming!
00:38:44.100 --> 00:38:48.800
*Cat, they're wrecking*
*the whole house.!*
00:38:48.900 --> 00:38:51.000
[Snoring]
00:38:51.100 --> 00:38:53.700
[Groans,
Continues Snoring]
00:38:56.300 --> 00:38:59.600
[Jabbering, Giggling Continue]
00:39:09.000 --> 00:39:12.900
- Conrad, help!
- Help yourself!
00:39:13.000 --> 00:39:15.900
Look at me!
Come and get it!
00:39:16.000 --> 00:39:18.500
[ContinuesJabbering]
00:39:21.400 --> 00:39:25.600
[Grunts]
Whoa! Ooh, yeah! Whoa!
00:39:33.600 --> 00:39:35.600
[Giggles]
That tickles!
00:39:36.900 --> 00:39:39.800
[Jabbering]
Geronimo!
00:39:39.900 --> 00:39:42.700
[Jabbering, Grunting]
00:39:42.800 --> 00:39:46.500
[Crab Lock]
Mine, mine, mine!
Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine!
00:39:47.900 --> 00:39:51.200
Ride 'em, cowboy!
Yee-hee-hee! Ho-ho-ho! Whee!
00:39:52.000 --> 00:39:53.800
[Snoring]
00:39:56.900 --> 00:39:59.300
[Continues Snoring]
00:39:59.400 --> 00:40:01.600
If this were my house,
I'd be furious.
00:40:01.700 --> 00:40:03.700
[Laughing]
00:40:08.400 --> 00:40:11.300
Hey! Klondike!
00:40:11.400 --> 00:40:15.100
Do you have any idea
what happened to the lock
on this crate?
00:40:15.200 --> 00:40:17.600
- It's on Nevins's collar.
- Nevins?
00:40:17.700 --> 00:40:19.400
[Sally]
*Nevins? Nevins.!*
00:40:19.500 --> 00:40:23.500
Put the dog down!
I said, put the dog down!
00:40:23.600 --> 00:40:25.500
Why won't they
listen to me?
00:40:25.600 --> 00:40:31.200
Oh. I don't know if this helps,
but the Things always do
the opposite of what you say.
00:40:31.300 --> 00:40:34.800
Why do they always
do the opposite?
That's so annoying!
00:40:34.900 --> 00:40:36.800
Remind you of anyone,
Conrad?
00:40:36.900 --> 00:40:39.500
Zinga!
*[Things Cackling]*
00:40:39.700 --> 00:40:41.600
Zinga! Zinga!
00:40:41.800 --> 00:40:44.700
Blue! 41! Set!
Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!
00:40:44.800 --> 00:40:48.600
Hey, Thing,
don't let go of that dog!
00:40:48.700 --> 00:40:50.400
Let go!
00:40:50.500 --> 00:40:54.100
*[Conrad] Catch him...*
*I mean,* don't *catch him.!*
[Screams]
00:40:55.300 --> 00:40:56.300
[Crab Lock Chuckles]
[Barks]
00:40:57.300 --> 00:40:58.600
Well, this is just great, Conrad.
00:40:58.700 --> 00:41:02.800
The whole house is destroyed,
the party is ruined,
and now Nevins is gone.
00:41:02.900 --> 00:41:05.300
Sally, Kojak,
00:41:05.400 --> 00:41:09.500
that's nothing compared
to what's gonna happen
if we don't lock this crate.
00:41:09.700 --> 00:41:12.600
Take a look.
It's already leaking.
00:41:13.600 --> 00:41:16.100
[Grunting]
00:41:16.300 --> 00:41:19.800
- It won't stay shut.
- Not without the lock.
00:41:19.900 --> 00:41:24.800
Look, if we don't get that lock off of Nevins
and put it back on this crate,
00:41:24.900 --> 00:41:28.700
we're gonna be staring down
the business end
of the mother of all messes.
00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:32.900
[Grunting]
We've gotta go out
and fiind Nevins.
00:41:33.000 --> 00:41:35.300
[Grunts]
Impossible! Sally!
00:41:35.400 --> 00:41:37.800
*There's only four hours*
*till the party.*
00:41:37.900 --> 00:41:40.400
The Fish is right.
We should call Mom
and tell herwhat happened.
00:41:40.500 --> 00:41:43.700
Look at this house!
There's no way we could
explain this to Mom.
00:41:43.900 --> 00:41:46.500
We gotta get Nevins back
and lock the crate!
00:41:46.700 --> 00:41:48.600
We're staying and calling Mom.
00:41:48.700 --> 00:41:51.000
We're going and getting the dog.
00:41:51.100 --> 00:41:53.200
[Sinister Voice]
There is a third option.
00:41:53.300 --> 00:41:55.600
@¤@¤[Organ:Dramatic]
There is?
00:41:55.700 --> 00:41:59.100
*Yes. It involves...*
00:41:59.200 --> 00:42:01.200
murder!
@@ [Dramatic Chords]
00:42:01.300 --> 00:42:04.200
- That's your option?
- No.
00:42:04.300 --> 00:42:07.100
But you guys both had options.
I just wanted to have one too.
00:42:07.200 --> 00:42:10.500
[Chuckling]
Or did I?
00:42:10.600 --> 00:42:14.400
- Cat, you're not helping!
- Come on. Let's go get that dog.
00:42:14.500 --> 00:42:19.000
*Now, wejust need*
*a heavy, inanimate object*
*to weigh down this crate.*
00:42:19.200 --> 00:42:21.100
*[Kids Grunting]*
00:42:22.800 --> 00:42:24.800
[Grumbling]
00:42:25.000 --> 00:42:27.500
There. That oughta
buy us some time.
00:42:27.600 --> 00:42:31.600
Come on, kids!
Let's go, go, go!
[Wheezing Laugh]
00:42:31.700 --> 00:42:35.000
[Grunting, Sighing]
00:42:36.100 --> 00:42:38.900
*[Man On TV]*
*Identical sister Mitzy...*
00:42:39.000 --> 00:42:42.100
[Sighs]
*[Man #2 On TV]*
*That's right.*
00:42:43.200 --> 00:42:45.100
[Grunts]
00:42:46.200 --> 00:42:48.900
*- [Knocking]*
- Yeah!
00:42:50.700 --> 00:42:52.600
What do you want now?
00:42:52.700 --> 00:42:55.300
Repo.
00:42:55.400 --> 00:42:58.600
You're repossessing my TV?
00:42:58.700 --> 00:43:00.100
I'm sure I made a payment.
00:43:00.100 --> 00:43:03.000
If it's about that bounced check,
let me give you a credit card.
00:43:03.100 --> 00:43:07.500
That one's expired.
Huh? Oh, come on!
00:43:07.600 --> 00:43:09.600
*[Woman On TVGrunting]*
00:43:09.700 --> 00:43:13.900
[Narrator]
*With the lock on his collar,*
*Nevins kept running,*
00:43:14.000 --> 00:43:16.400
*unaware ofhis part...*
00:43:16.500 --> 00:43:19.000
*in the evil Quinn's cunning.*
[Ringing]
00:43:19.100 --> 00:43:22.100
Joan Walden Real Estate.
Be it ever so humble, there's no...
00:43:22.200 --> 00:43:23.800
Oh, hi, Joan.
00:43:23.900 --> 00:43:26.400
The kids let the dog
out again.
You're kidding.
00:43:26.600 --> 00:43:30.300
Don't worry. I'll go get him,
then we'll have a conversation
vis-a-vis military school.
00:43:30.400 --> 00:43:33.800
I don't know.
Conrad's like you, Lawrence.
00:43:34.000 --> 00:43:36.800
He's very... sensitive.
Uh-huh.
00:43:36.900 --> 00:43:39.900
[Sighs]
But I suppose it's something
I should consider.
00:43:40.000 --> 00:43:43.300
I'll get the dog.
I'll be right over.
[Dial Tone Hums]
00:43:45.700 --> 00:43:48.800
[Sighs]
00:43:48.900 --> 00:43:50.800
[Groaning]
00:43:50.900 --> 00:43:53.300
*- [Barking]*
*- [Conrad]*
*Okay, there's Nevins.*
00:43:53.400 --> 00:43:56.800
Stay out of sight.
*[Barks, Growls]*
00:44:00.000 --> 00:44:04.100
*@¤@¤[Violin Strings Plucking]*
00:44:04.200 --> 00:44:07.400
@@ [Plucking Continues]
00:44:08.900 --> 00:44:11.500
I thought the moment
needed something.
00:44:11.600 --> 00:44:14.300
Oh, what will become of us?
00:44:14.400 --> 00:44:16.500
Your motherwill lose her job,
00:44:16.600 --> 00:44:19.900
and we'll have to...
live on the street!
00:44:20.000 --> 00:44:23.100
[Sobbing]
I can't! Don't make me go...
00:44:23.200 --> 00:44:25.600
[Groans]
*I don't know this world.!*
00:44:25.700 --> 00:44:30.500
It's dry! It's like...
I can't... It's too...
Fish!
00:44:30.600 --> 00:44:32.500
It's too much!
00:44:32.600 --> 00:44:34.600
Would you like to go back
in the toilet?
00:44:34.700 --> 00:44:37.200
On second thought,
it's such a beautiful day.
Why spend it indoors?
00:44:37.300 --> 00:44:40.000
- Thank you!
- [Gasps]
00:44:41.300 --> 00:44:43.200
Okay, kids.
Get out of my way.
00:44:43.300 --> 00:44:47.100
This fence is no match
for my cat-like grace and reflexes.
Here we go.
00:44:47.200 --> 00:44:49.900
[Neck Muscles,
Knuckles Cracking]
[Exhales]
00:44:50.000 --> 00:44:54.200
Ow. Okay.
Watch me fly, kids.
[Wheezing Laugh]
00:44:56.100 --> 00:44:59.200
*[Loud Crash]*
[Grunting]
00:44:59.300 --> 00:45:01.400
Ow!
00:45:01.500 --> 00:45:04.200
I don't think
the little girl's even trying.
00:45:04.300 --> 00:45:08.400
What about your
cat-like... reflexes?
00:45:08.600 --> 00:45:11.800
What about showing a little effort,
shrimp boat? Now, push!
00:45:11.900 --> 00:45:14.200
Whaa!
00:45:14.300 --> 00:45:16.500
All right, Nevins.
00:45:16.600 --> 00:45:18.600
Time to die.
00:45:18.700 --> 00:45:21.800
- [Whimpering]
- Cat, you scared him away!
00:45:21.900 --> 00:45:23.900
Dirty hoe.
00:45:25.600 --> 00:45:29.500
I'm sorry, baby.
I love you. Hmm.
00:45:29.600 --> 00:45:32.300
[Conrad]
*Come on, Cat.!*
00:45:36.100 --> 00:45:38.200
[Yipping]
There he is!
00:45:38.300 --> 00:45:40.200
*[Children Shouting]*
00:45:40.300 --> 00:45:42.300
[Man]
*Happy birthday, Denise.*
00:45:42.400 --> 00:45:44.300
[Sally]
Denise?
00:45:44.500 --> 00:45:47.200
Everyone I know
is there.
00:45:47.300 --> 00:45:49.800
There's Ginny and Alan.
00:45:49.900 --> 00:45:52.800
How come Denise didn't
invite me to her birthday?
00:45:52.900 --> 00:45:55.500
*Don't worry. Let'sjust*
*get Nevins and go.*
00:45:55.600 --> 00:45:56.700
*- [Woman] Okay, kids.*
*Everyone outside.!*
- [Kids Screaming]
00:45:58.200 --> 00:46:00.400
[Yelling]
00:46:03.400 --> 00:46:05.300
Aaah!
00:46:05.400 --> 00:46:08.600
Nevins.
Cat, get down!
They're gonna see you!
00:46:08.700 --> 00:46:11.000
Hide.!
00:46:11.100 --> 00:46:13.100
[Excited Shouting]
00:46:19.400 --> 00:46:22.300
[Chanting]
Pińata! Pińata! Pińata!
00:46:22.400 --> 00:46:24.300
Pińata! Pińata!
00:46:24.400 --> 00:46:27.500
*Pińata.! Pińata.!*
[Nervous Grumbling]
00:46:27.600 --> 00:46:30.200
- [Groans]
- Everybody join in!
00:46:35.100 --> 00:46:37.100
[Girl]
It's breaking!
00:46:37.200 --> 00:46:40.200
Step out of my way.
00:46:42.700 --> 00:46:44.800
This cannot end well.
00:46:44.900 --> 00:46:47.800
- Pińata! Pińata!
- [Howling]
00:46:47.900 --> 00:46:50.000
*@¤I'm easy @¤*
00:46:50.100 --> 00:46:53.900
*@¤Ah, ah, ah, ah @¤*
[Whinnying]
00:46:54.000 --> 00:46:56.600
*@¤I'm easy*
*like Sunday morning @¤@¤*
00:46:56.700 --> 00:46:59.600
- [Howling]
- [Both Groaning]
00:46:59.700 --> 00:47:04.200
*[Howling Continues]*
00:47:04.300 --> 00:47:06.600
Oh-ho-ho! Whoo!
00:47:06.700 --> 00:47:09.100
*- Oh.! Whoo-hoo.!*
- I got an idea.
00:47:09.200 --> 00:47:11.700
[Conrad]
Candy.!
00:47:13.300 --> 00:47:15.300
Candy!
00:47:16.300 --> 00:47:18.200
[Growls]
00:47:18.300 --> 00:47:21.000
[Both]
No!
00:47:21.100 --> 00:47:24.400
Get back!
Cat!
00:47:24.500 --> 00:47:26.500
[Cat Grunts]
I'll get you!
00:47:28.700 --> 00:47:30.600
[Sighs]
*[Phone Rings]*
00:47:30.700 --> 00:47:33.600
[Gasping]
I'd love to buy some.
00:47:33.700 --> 00:47:35.800
Hello, Mrs. Kwan.
It'sJoan Walden.
00:47:35.900 --> 00:47:38.400
I just called
to check on the kids.
Are they okay?
00:47:38.500 --> 00:47:41.500
[Chuckles]
Those aren't children.
00:47:41.600 --> 00:47:44.500
They're little angels.
00:47:44.600 --> 00:47:46.800
[All Laughing]
00:47:46.900 --> 00:47:49.200
That's sweet.
00:47:49.300 --> 00:47:52.200
Well, all right, Mrs. Kwan.
I'll be home as soon as I can.
00:47:52.300 --> 00:47:55.200
Bye-bye.
Bye.
00:47:55.300 --> 00:47:57.800
*[Things Babbling]*
00:47:57.900 --> 00:47:59.800
[Sighs]
00:48:00.900 --> 00:48:02.800
[Groans, Snores]
00:48:02.900 --> 00:48:06.200
*[Excited Chortling]*
00:48:23.700 --> 00:48:26.800
[Cat]
*All right, soldier.*
*Our bogey is in range.*
00:48:26.900 --> 00:48:29.200
Commence
search and destroy.
00:48:29.300 --> 00:48:32.100
- What?
- Search and rescue.
00:48:32.200 --> 00:48:36.600
I meant search and rescue.
Come on!
00:48:36.700 --> 00:48:39.700
I can't believe I wasn't
invited to that party.
00:48:39.800 --> 00:48:42.300
Hey!
You're a lone wolf.
00:48:42.400 --> 00:48:45.000
[Whispering]
Live alone, die alone.
Yeah.
00:48:45.100 --> 00:48:48.300
- Can we please get the dog?
- [Mocking]
Can we please get the dog?
00:48:48.400 --> 00:48:51.300
Can we please get the dog?
Boo!
00:48:54.600 --> 00:48:57.300
[Conrad]
*Oh, no.! Oh, man.!*
00:48:57.400 --> 00:49:00.300
Hello, Nevins.
Good-bye, Conrad.
00:49:00.400 --> 00:49:04.500
Not so tough now,
are you?
[Barks]
00:49:04.600 --> 00:49:07.300
*[Sinister Laughing]*
00:49:09.300 --> 00:49:11.800
[Hooting Laugh]
00:49:13.800 --> 00:49:16.500
We're dead.
We're never gonna get
that crate shut.
00:49:16.600 --> 00:49:19.900
And I'm getting shipped off
to Colonel Von Kronk's School
for Wayward Boys!
00:49:20.000 --> 00:49:23.600
Why don't we
take my car?
You have a car?
00:49:23.700 --> 00:49:26.500
Yeah, sure.
*[CarAlarm Chirps]*
00:49:26.600 --> 00:49:29.600
*[Engine Starts,*
*Tires Screech]*
00:49:30.900 --> 00:49:33.200
Wow.
That is so cool.
00:49:33.400 --> 00:49:35.800
That's just
the dust cover.
00:49:37.800 --> 00:49:42.000
Here she is, the Super Luxurious
Omnidirectional Whatchamajigger.
00:49:42.100 --> 00:49:44.700
Or S.L.O.W. For short.
00:49:44.800 --> 00:49:46.800
S.L.O.W.?
00:49:46.900 --> 00:49:50.100
Yeah, SLOW.
It's better than the last name we had.
00:49:50.200 --> 00:49:53.400
Super Hydraulic
Instantaneous Transporter.
00:49:53.500 --> 00:49:57.600
- Oh, you mean...
- Ohh! Quick, to the SLOW.
[Chortling]
00:50:00.400 --> 00:50:02.300
[Grunts]
Buckle up, kids.
00:50:02.300 --> 00:50:06.400
We're on a mission to get that dog,
and we will not rest
until we fiind and destroy it.
00:50:06.500 --> 00:50:09.000
Rescue it!
Rescue it! Of course
I meant rescue it.
00:50:09.200 --> 00:50:12.500
Whatever. Remember, kids,
there's nothing faster than SLOW.
00:50:12.600 --> 00:50:15.700
That's backwards!
It makes no sense.
Look at you! Argh!
00:50:15.800 --> 00:50:18.400
Okay, here we go.
G.P. S... check.
00:50:18.500 --> 00:50:20.400
*DVD, CD... check.*
00:50:20.500 --> 00:50:23.500
Someone from Czechoslovakia
is a... Czech.
[Chortling]
00:50:23.600 --> 00:50:26.000
Siren!
What are you...
What...
00:50:26.100 --> 00:50:28.400
Siren?
[Screaming]
00:50:28.500 --> 00:50:32.300
Let's go!
00:50:32.500 --> 00:50:34.700
Whoo-whoa-ho-ho!
[Hooting]
00:50:34.900 --> 00:50:38.200
Hi there!
How are you? Yeah!
[Giggling]
00:50:38.300 --> 00:50:40.600
[Engine Backfiiring]
[Laughing]
00:50:40.700 --> 00:50:45.100
[All Yelling]
00:50:45.200 --> 00:50:50.900
@ I'm sending Conrad away @
00:50:51.000 --> 00:50:53.500
- Oh! Oh!
- [Barking]
00:50:53.600 --> 00:50:56.300
[Sniffs]
Oh!
[Barks]
00:50:56.400 --> 00:50:59.700
I can't believe you whizzed
on my taco!
00:50:59.800 --> 00:51:02.300
*[Barking Continues]*
00:51:02.400 --> 00:51:05.400
Wait tillJoan
gets a load of you!
00:51:05.500 --> 00:51:08.000
[Laughing]
[Barking]
00:51:08.100 --> 00:51:11.300
- There they are!
*- [Fish] Red light, red light,*
*red light, red light.!*
00:51:11.400 --> 00:51:13.400
Red light!
00:51:13.500 --> 00:51:15.900
[All Screaming]
00:51:18.100 --> 00:51:21.100
- Someone else should drive.
- All right. You win.
00:51:21.200 --> 00:51:23.700
Concrete,
you drive.
Are you serious?
00:51:23.800 --> 00:51:25.300
I don't know.
00:51:25.300 --> 00:51:29.000
A little voice inside of me
is saying, "This is a bad idea,"
00:51:29.000 --> 00:51:31.000
but I can barely hear
that little voice...
00:51:31.100 --> 00:51:36.300
because an even louder
little voice is screaming,
"Let the 12-year-old drive!"
00:51:36.400 --> 00:51:38.200
Now, punch it!
[Imitating Engine]
00:51:38.300 --> 00:51:40.500
[Grunts]
00:51:40.600 --> 00:51:42.500
*This is awesome.!*
00:51:42.600 --> 00:51:44.400
[Gagging]
00:51:44.500 --> 00:51:46.900
- [Retching]
- [Groans]
00:51:48.900 --> 00:51:51.900
- I want to drive.
- I think that's a great idea.
00:51:52.100 --> 00:51:54.800
[Chuckling]
00:51:54.900 --> 00:51:57.900
Wait!
Two people can't drive
at the same time.
00:51:58.000 --> 00:52:02.000
You're right.
We should all drive.
[Chortling]
00:52:02.100 --> 00:52:05.400
*[Tires Screeching]*
[Yelling]
00:52:05.500 --> 00:52:09.900
*- Cat.! Where are the brakes?*
- I'll get them.
00:52:12.200 --> 00:52:16.500
I think there's something wrong
with your brakes. When's the
last time you had them checked?
00:52:16.600 --> 00:52:19.700
[Chortling]
*Bad brake.!*
00:52:25.100 --> 00:52:26.900
[Screaming]
00:52:27.000 --> 00:52:30.300
*One-way street, one-way street,*
*one-way street, one-way street.!*
00:52:30.400 --> 00:52:32.400
- [Gasping, Screaming]
- [Truck Horn Honking]
00:52:35.900 --> 00:52:39.300
Hey, Rhode Island license plate.
You never see those.
00:52:41.300 --> 00:52:44.300
[Horn Honking]
00:52:44.500 --> 00:52:47.000
Om. Om.
00:52:48.400 --> 00:52:50.400
*[Loud Clanging]*
00:52:53.700 --> 00:52:57.100
Air bag. Standard.
00:52:57.200 --> 00:52:59.300
[Panting]
00:52:59.500 --> 00:53:02.300
I think... I wet... my jar.
00:53:02.400 --> 00:53:04.400
Can we do that again?
00:53:07.100 --> 00:53:09.100
[Alarm Chirps]
[Gasps]
00:53:11.700 --> 00:53:13.200
Hey, there he is!
00:53:16.300 --> 00:53:19.000
*[Conrad] Oh, no.!*
*He's going into Mom's offiice.!*
00:53:19.100 --> 00:53:21.400
Come on, Cat!
00:53:23.200 --> 00:53:24.800
[Whistles]
You know, Nevins,
00:53:24.900 --> 00:53:28.500
whenJoan fiinds out
you've escaped again,
Conrad will be moving out,
00:53:28.600 --> 00:53:30.600
and I'll be moving in.
00:53:33.100 --> 00:53:36.000
*[Conrad] We've gotta get*
*Nevins and that lock back.*
*[Sally] What are we gonna do?*
00:53:36.100 --> 00:53:39.300
*Don't worry.*
*I have three plans.*
00:53:39.400 --> 00:53:42.400
Plan "A": "Mess up
a perfectly clean house."
00:53:42.500 --> 00:53:47.000
Done that. Plan "B":
"Cut your losses and ditch the kids."
00:53:47.100 --> 00:53:49.700
- That could work.
- What about that one?
00:53:49.800 --> 00:53:54.800
Plan "C": "Trick Mom's boyfriend
into handing over dog and lock."
00:53:54.900 --> 00:53:57.900
I don't know.
I still like Plan "B."
00:53:58.000 --> 00:54:00.700
- [Both] Cat!
- Okay, okay. Plan "C."
00:54:00.900 --> 00:54:02.600
Look at you. Argh!
00:54:04.900 --> 00:54:07.500
[Whining]
*Excuse me, sir.*
00:54:07.600 --> 00:54:10.900
I'd like you to sign
my petition. Yeah.
00:54:11.000 --> 00:54:13.300
Get out of my way,
you hippie freak.
00:54:13.400 --> 00:54:16.100
Are you aware of the senseless,
wholesale slaughter...
00:54:16.200 --> 00:54:19.600
of the flatulating,
acid-spitting Zumzizeroo?
00:54:19.700 --> 00:54:22.200
What will it take
to get you out of my face?
00:54:22.300 --> 00:54:24.500
Just sign my petition...
00:54:24.700 --> 00:54:28.000
with this large, oversized pen
that requires two hands.
00:54:28.100 --> 00:54:30.700
*I see.*
[Loud Click]
00:54:30.800 --> 00:54:33.300
- Will you hold my dog?
- Yes!
00:54:33.500 --> 00:54:36.900
Okay, I have a problem
with the word "dog."
00:54:37.000 --> 00:54:40.300
I don't use the "D" word per se
'cause I think it's really, really wrong.
00:54:41.500 --> 00:54:45.000
*Yeah. But I will happily*
*hold yourCanine-American.*
00:54:45.100 --> 00:54:48.600
- I'm more comfortable
with that really, yeah.
- [Giggling]
00:54:48.700 --> 00:54:52.800
@ How much is that Canine-American
in the window @
00:54:52.900 --> 00:54:55.400
[Both]
Cat! Come on!
00:54:57.200 --> 00:54:59.700
*- [Nevins Barking]*
*- Hey, what the...*
00:54:59.800 --> 00:55:02.800
*[Cat] Go, go, go.!*
Come back here!
I'm on to you kids!
00:55:03.000 --> 00:55:05.800
- Nothing to see here.
Keep moving! Go!
- [Panting]
00:55:05.900 --> 00:55:09.000
[Whistle Blows]
Come on! Let's go.
Ah, get in, get in!
00:55:09.100 --> 00:55:13.200
Come on, let's go.
Get in! Hi, hi.
Get in! Get in!
00:55:13.400 --> 00:55:16.500
@¤@¤[Dance]
Look out below!
00:55:16.600 --> 00:55:19.800
Oh! Sorry. Over there.
00:55:21.500 --> 00:55:24.500
[Hooting]
Hey! Hey, hey!
Hey, hey!
00:55:24.600 --> 00:55:27.600
*[Feet Screeching]*
Ohh!
00:55:29.900 --> 00:55:32.600
Oh!
[Laughing]
00:55:32.700 --> 00:55:34.300
I got you!
00:55:36.500 --> 00:55:39.500
Here he comes!
[Both]
Cat!
00:55:39.600 --> 00:55:42.000
[Yelling]
00:55:42.100 --> 00:55:47.200
- [Woman Screams]
- Where's my hat? Oh! Go! Go, go!
00:55:47.300 --> 00:55:49.300
Go! Let's go!
My tail, my tail.
00:55:49.400 --> 00:55:53.300
Come on, Cat!
[Grunts]
I'm walking here!
00:55:57.200 --> 00:56:00.000
[Angry Whimpering]
*[Horn Honking]*
00:56:00.100 --> 00:56:03.400
Joan. Joan!
[Whimpering]
00:56:05.800 --> 00:56:08.700
- I think we lost him.
- Not the pocket. Not the pocket!
00:56:08.800 --> 00:56:12.700
- We got the lock back.
Now let's get home.
- Relax, kid. I'm all over it.
00:56:12.900 --> 00:56:15.500
[Wheezing Laugh]
Hey.
00:56:15.600 --> 00:56:17.700
What's wrong?
This.
00:56:17.800 --> 00:56:20.900
This is not my hat.
I must have picked up
the wrong hat back there.
00:56:21.000 --> 00:56:23.500
- So?
- So...
00:56:23.600 --> 00:56:27.300
without my hat,
I'm just your garden-variety
six-foot-tall talking cat.
00:56:27.600 --> 00:56:28.700
*Joan, yourchildren*
*are running around town*
*like complete maniacs.*
00:56:30.900 --> 00:56:35.500
*Yes, they are.*
*With some weird,*
*hairy man in a big hat.*
00:56:35.600 --> 00:56:37.500
Uh-huh.
00:56:37.600 --> 00:56:40.800
You're gonna believe everything
I'm telling you once we get to
your house, okay? Come on.
00:56:40.900 --> 00:56:42.800
We're doomed!
00:56:42.900 --> 00:56:47.200
We're dead. This is all my fault.
I'm such an idiot.
00:56:47.300 --> 00:56:51.500
Why do I always have to do
the opposite of what I'm supposed to?
00:56:51.600 --> 00:56:53.500
Wait a second.
That's it! The opposite!
00:56:53.700 --> 00:56:57.200
Hey, Things!
Don't help us!
00:56:57.300 --> 00:57:00.900
Do not show up and help us
get home right now!
00:57:01.000 --> 00:57:04.300
- We're goin' on a road trip!
- Larry's car?
00:57:05.600 --> 00:57:08.900
How'd you get so smart?
[Chortling]
00:57:09.000 --> 00:57:12.400
[Narrator]
*So the race was on*
*to get back home fiirst.*
00:57:12.500 --> 00:57:15.400
[Conrad]
Hang on! We gotta beat
Mom and Quinn home!
00:57:15.500 --> 00:57:19.300
[Narrator]
*But back at their home,*
*things werejust getting worse.*
00:57:35.700 --> 00:57:37.500
There's Mom and Larry!
00:57:37.600 --> 00:57:40.700
Step on it, Joan.
Go, go, go, go, go.
00:57:40.800 --> 00:57:45.200
Oh, Things, do not do anything
to slow down my mom.
00:57:45.400 --> 00:57:47.200
[Things]
*Slow down Mom.!*
00:57:47.300 --> 00:57:50.400
[Whooping]
00:57:50.500 --> 00:57:54.000
[Chattering]
00:57:54.200 --> 00:57:57.200
[Quinn]
Look, Joan, they don't
beat them every day.
00:57:57.300 --> 00:57:59.600
*[Siren Wailing]*
Oh, great.
00:57:59.700 --> 00:58:03.100
[Siren Continues]
00:58:04.700 --> 00:58:07.500
[Clears Throat]
I'm sorry, Offiicer.
Was I speeding?
00:58:07.600 --> 00:58:11.000
Mekka dekka license,
appa registration.
00:58:12.600 --> 00:58:15.200
Mekka dekka,
you're one hot mama.
00:58:15.300 --> 00:58:17.900
Hey, that's my car.
Joan, we better go right away!
00:58:18.100 --> 00:58:20.300
Please let me handle this.
00:58:20.500 --> 00:58:22.900
Sorry, I guess I was
in a hurry to get home.
00:58:23.000 --> 00:58:26.700
- I'm not gonna let them
get away with this!
- [Babbling]
00:58:26.900 --> 00:58:28.600
[Yelling]
00:58:28.700 --> 00:58:30.900
[Siren Wailing]
00:58:32.100 --> 00:58:33.500
Meet me at the house!
00:58:45.600 --> 00:58:48.600
Not so fast,
you little maggots!
Ha-ha!
00:58:48.700 --> 00:58:52.200
Oh, you are so busted.
Now get inside.
00:58:52.300 --> 00:58:54.300
You don't want to go in there.
It's going to be a total...
Aah!
00:58:56.500 --> 00:58:59.400
What?
Sally, what happened?
00:58:59.500 --> 00:59:01.900
*What about the mother*
*ofall messes?*
*I don't know.*
00:59:02.100 --> 00:59:04.700
[Sneezes]
Why am I sneezing?
00:59:10.500 --> 00:59:13.200
That'd be me. Boo!
00:59:13.300 --> 00:59:16.700
You're a giant...
[Sneezing]
00:59:16.800 --> 00:59:18.700
Cat!
00:59:18.800 --> 00:59:22.000
[Screaming]
00:59:22.100 --> 00:59:25.600
Judas Priest!
00:59:25.800 --> 00:59:27.800
Ooh.
*Mama mia.*
00:59:31.900 --> 00:59:34.300
What happened
to our house?
00:59:34.400 --> 00:59:37.500
It's the mother
of all messes.
Yup!
00:59:37.600 --> 00:59:41.100
Pure, unadulterated fun
without any good sense or judgment.
00:59:41.200 --> 00:59:43.700
See, Corn Dog,
this is why I warned you...
00:59:43.800 --> 00:59:45.700
not to open the crate.
00:59:45.800 --> 00:59:48.500
- [Birds Honking]
- Although, on the plus side,
00:59:48.600 --> 00:59:53.300
I think people will be
talking about tonight's party
for the rest of their lives.
00:59:53.400 --> 00:59:55.500
- [Nevins Whines]
- [Groans]
00:59:55.600 --> 00:59:58.800
- We gotta shut the crate! Come on!
- Okay.
00:59:58.900 --> 01:00:01.200
[Cat Chuckling]
01:00:01.300 --> 01:00:04.400
Let's take the front hall carpet.
[Chortling]
01:00:04.500 --> 01:00:08.400
- This can't be the front hall.
- This is what happens when you
mix yourworld and my world.
01:00:08.600 --> 01:00:10.900
Oh, and when you eat
bad shellfiish.
01:00:11.000 --> 01:00:13.600
Let's go! Oh, yeah!
01:00:13.700 --> 01:00:16.500
Cat, how do we
fiind the crate?
Beats me.
01:00:16.600 --> 01:00:19.700
This hat is worthless,
and it makes me look fat.
01:00:19.800 --> 01:00:21.900
- Where's Mrs. Kwan?
- Oh-ho-ho!
01:00:22.000 --> 01:00:25.400
*Here she comes,*
*right on schedule.*
01:00:27.700 --> 01:00:31.400
- Oh, yeah!
- We're going to ride Mrs. Kwan?
01:00:31.600 --> 01:00:35.200
*Sure.! It's the only way*
*to the crate. Hop on.!*
01:00:35.300 --> 01:00:39.000
Oh, this is gonna be good!
01:00:39.100 --> 01:00:43.000
Please keep your hands and feet
in the Kwan at all times!
01:00:43.100 --> 01:00:47.200
Enjoy the ride!
[Chortling]
01:00:47.300 --> 01:00:51.000
*Ladies and gentlemen,*
*the dining room. Ohh.!*
[Laughing]
01:00:51.100 --> 01:00:53.400
[Sally]
This is the dining room?
*[Clock Cuckooing]*
01:00:53.500 --> 01:00:55.700
Hey, look.
Chandelier!
01:00:55.800 --> 01:00:57.700
[Chuckling]
01:01:02.000 --> 01:01:05.200
[Conrad]
*Is that the bathroom?*
01:01:05.300 --> 01:01:07.900
You might want to
hold it for a while.
01:01:10.100 --> 01:01:12.000
Something like that
really burns my...
01:01:12.100 --> 01:01:14.200
[All]
Aaah!
01:01:16.100 --> 01:01:21.100
This is amazing!
It's like a ride
at an amusement park!
01:01:21.200 --> 01:01:24.100
You mean, like at...
Universal Studios.
01:01:24.200 --> 01:01:26.800
[Laughing]
Cha-ching.
01:01:26.900 --> 01:01:30.600
Whoa!
01:01:30.700 --> 01:01:33.300
[All Screaming]
01:01:33.400 --> 01:01:36.500
- [Cat] Whoa!
- [Grumbling]
01:01:36.600 --> 01:01:40.700
Please exit the Kwan to your left.
Have a nice day!
01:01:40.800 --> 01:01:43.500
This is ridiculous.
I have to get home.
01:01:43.600 --> 01:01:48.000
[Grunting]
Police brutality!
Illegal choke hold!
01:01:49.300 --> 01:01:51.700
Where are we?
The living room,
I think.
01:01:51.800 --> 01:01:54.100
Ah, man!
My eyes are closed.
01:01:54.200 --> 01:01:58.700
If there's no line, could we
go back and do that again?
There's the crate!
01:01:58.800 --> 01:02:00.600
Oh!
[Chortling]
01:02:05.800 --> 01:02:07.800
If we shut the crate,
the house will go back to normal.
01:02:07.900 --> 01:02:10.000
You have the lock?
01:02:10.100 --> 01:02:12.400
Got it!
Come on! Let's go!
01:02:15.800 --> 01:02:18.800
Sally!
[Both Grunting]
01:02:18.900 --> 01:02:22.200
- Come on!
- It won't shut!
01:02:22.300 --> 01:02:26.800
Sally! Everything
is disappearing up there!
01:02:27.000 --> 01:02:29.200
- Help!
- Sally!
01:02:29.300 --> 01:02:32.000
- Oh! Oh!
- Sal... Aaah!
01:02:32.100 --> 01:02:34.800
- Help me, Conrad!
- Sally!
01:02:36.400 --> 01:02:40.900
Help me!
I can't hold on!
01:02:41.000 --> 01:02:44.500
Hang on!
Help me, Conrad!
01:02:44.600 --> 01:02:47.700
Help.!
Sally, I can't reach
the lock!
01:02:47.800 --> 01:02:52.000
- No!
- I can't save you
unless you let go!
01:02:52.100 --> 01:02:53.900
Okay.
01:02:55.000 --> 01:02:58.400
[Screaming]
Help me!
01:02:59.800 --> 01:03:03.300
- [Lock] Yes!
- [Screaming]
01:03:22.700 --> 01:03:27.500
*[Crashing, Groaning]*
*[Birds Chirping]*
01:03:27.600 --> 01:03:31.500
[Yelling]
01:03:31.600 --> 01:03:35.900
[Gurgling]
Ugh!
01:03:36.000 --> 01:03:38.300
I did it!
I did it!
01:03:38.400 --> 01:03:41.100
*I did it.! I did it.!*
*I did it.!*
01:03:41.200 --> 01:03:43.300
[Laughing]
I did it! I did it!
01:03:46.500 --> 01:03:50.300
Okay, "we" did it.
01:03:50.400 --> 01:03:53.200
I don't think
we did anything.
01:03:53.400 --> 01:03:57.600
The place is still a wreck.
You said if we shut the crate,
everything would be okay!
01:03:57.700 --> 01:04:00.700
But it's not.
It's a complete disaster!
01:04:00.800 --> 01:04:03.300
Well, what are you
gonna do?
01:04:03.400 --> 01:04:05.300
Tennis, anyone?
01:04:06.700 --> 01:04:08.600
*[Metal Popping]*
01:04:10.200 --> 01:04:12.800
*[Balls Rolling]*
[Sniffiing]
01:04:12.800 --> 01:04:15.200
Ooh!
[Purring]
01:04:15.300 --> 01:04:18.100
Love that new ball smell.
Yeah.
01:04:18.200 --> 01:04:23.400
- Hey, your hat... it's magic again?
- Oops.
01:04:23.500 --> 01:04:27.600
Well, now that the cat's out of the bag,
to use an archaic
and cruel-sounding metaphor,
01:04:27.800 --> 01:04:29.700
why don't you serve fiirst?
01:04:29.800 --> 01:04:32.000
You had your real hat
this whole time?
01:04:32.100 --> 01:04:35.300
Uh-yup.
I planned the whole day.
[Wheezing Laugh]
01:04:35.500 --> 01:04:38.900
- What do you mean,
you planned the whole day? All of it?
- Uh-yup.
01:04:39.000 --> 01:04:40.400
- The house getting trashed?
- Uh-yup.
01:04:40.600 --> 01:04:42.200
- Quinn taking Nevins?
- Uh-yup.
01:04:42.300 --> 01:04:45.400
- Cutting off your tail?
- Uh-nope. No.
01:04:46.700 --> 01:04:48.800
*You even knew*
*I'd open the crate?*
01:04:48.900 --> 01:04:52.800
Why do you think I made it my one rule?
I knew you couldn't resist.
01:04:52.900 --> 01:04:56.400
Now, who's up for a game
of Canadian doubles?
01:04:56.500 --> 01:04:59.000
*[Loud Crashing]*
01:04:59.200 --> 01:05:01.200
Cat, you said nothing bad
would happen.
01:05:01.400 --> 01:05:04.300
Cat, you need to get out.
01:05:04.500 --> 01:05:06.900
I don't know that game.
It's not a game.
01:05:07.100 --> 01:05:10.200
None of this is a game!
01:05:10.300 --> 01:05:14.700
- But I thought you two
wanted to have fun today.
- Look around, Cat.
01:05:14.800 --> 01:05:17.500
*You were right.*
*It's fun to have fun,*
*but you have to know how.*
01:05:17.600 --> 01:05:21.300
You don't know
when enough is enough.
Now, go!
01:05:22.600 --> 01:05:24.400
Suzy.
01:05:24.500 --> 01:05:26.200
Cromwell.
01:05:26.300 --> 01:05:28.200
Please.
01:05:28.300 --> 01:05:30.400
[Both]
Out!
01:05:37.800 --> 01:05:39.100
Out!
01:05:52.700 --> 01:05:54.600
[Sparking]
01:05:54.700 --> 01:05:56.800
Good riddance!
01:05:56.900 --> 01:05:59.700
Now, this may not be the time
for"I told you so," but...
01:06:06.300 --> 01:06:08.400
Like I said,
not the time.
01:06:08.500 --> 01:06:10.800
I'll get the mop
and bucket.
01:06:10.900 --> 01:06:14.900
Conrad, you might want
to get out ofhere until Mom
has a chance to calm down.
01:06:16.300 --> 01:06:19.900
No. This was my fault.
I'll take the blame.
01:06:20.000 --> 01:06:23.400
Look, Mom will be home any second.
Why don't you go upstairs?
01:06:23.500 --> 01:06:26.000
I'm not going upstairs.
I'm staying with you.
01:06:26.100 --> 01:06:29.400
Really? Why?
Two reasons.
01:06:29.500 --> 01:06:31.700
One, the stairs are destroyed.
01:06:31.800 --> 01:06:36.600
Two, this is just as much
my fault as yours.
01:06:36.700 --> 01:06:38.600
We should share the blame.
01:06:39.900 --> 01:06:41.800
Thanks, Sally.
01:06:41.900 --> 01:06:43.800
By the way,
01:06:43.900 --> 01:06:46.300
you're a pretty good brother.
01:06:46.400 --> 01:06:50.400
Glad you think that.
Maybe we can room together
at military school.
01:06:54.200 --> 01:06:57.100
Well, here goes.
01:07:00.700 --> 01:07:02.600
[Chortling]
01:07:05.800 --> 01:07:08.800
@ Bet you thought I'd gone
Bet you felt a sting @
01:07:08.800 --> 01:07:11.900
*@¤Bet you neverthought*
*I'd have anothersong to sing @¤*
01:07:12.000 --> 01:07:14.700
@ But now that you've learned your lesson
Allow me to blow your mind @
01:07:14.800 --> 01:07:17.900
@ By reading to you the small print
of the contract that you signed @@
01:07:18.000 --> 01:07:21.500
Okay, section eight,
article 93, subparagraph 834.
01:07:21.600 --> 01:07:23.500
*Right by the chili stain.*
[Chuckles]
01:07:23.600 --> 01:07:27.000
It reads, "If Conrad, a.k.a. Concrete,
should open the crate...
01:07:27.100 --> 01:07:30.300
"and we know he will...
the contract shall be null and void.
01:07:31.800 --> 01:07:33.700
"However,
01:07:33.800 --> 01:07:37.700
if Sally and Conrad
should learn from their mistakes,
the contract shall be reinstated."
01:07:37.800 --> 01:07:40.800
*I think you two have satisfiied*
*the legal burden oflearning.*
01:07:40.900 --> 01:07:42.700
[Both]
Yeah!
01:07:42.800 --> 01:07:45.300
So there's just one last game to play.
It's called "Clean Up The House."
01:07:45.400 --> 01:07:49.800
Kids, meet the Dynamic Industrial
Renovating Tractormajigger.
01:07:49.900 --> 01:07:51.700
[Both]
D-l-R-T?
01:07:51.800 --> 01:07:53.600
That's right!
01:07:56.500 --> 01:08:00.300
[Chortling]
*@¤It's getting better*
*all the time @¤*
01:08:00.400 --> 01:08:04.200
*@¤I used to get mad*
*at my school @¤*
Ta-da!
01:08:04.300 --> 01:08:07.700
*@¤ The teachers who taught me*
*weren't cool @¤*
01:08:07.800 --> 01:08:09.700
*@¤ You're holding me down @¤*
01:08:09.800 --> 01:08:11.700
*@¤ Turning me 'round @¤*
01:08:11.800 --> 01:08:15.300
*@¤Filling me up*
*with your rules @¤*
*@¤Ooh-ooh @¤*
01:08:15.400 --> 01:08:18.600
*@¤I've got to admit*
*it's getting better@¤*
@¤Better@¤
01:08:18.700 --> 01:08:21.200
*@¤A little better*
*all the time @¤*
01:08:21.300 --> 01:08:23.300
*@¤It can't get no worse @¤*
01:08:23.400 --> 01:08:26.200
*@¤I have to admit*
*it's getting better@¤*
@¤Better@¤
01:08:26.200 --> 01:08:29.700
*@¤A little better*
*since you've been mine @¤*
01:08:29.800 --> 01:08:33.700
*- [Cat Chortling]*
- Hee-hee!
[Babbling]
01:08:33.800 --> 01:08:37.400
*@¤Me used to be*
*an angry young man @¤*
01:08:37.500 --> 01:08:40.100
*@¤Me hiding my head*
*in the sand @¤*
01:08:40.200 --> 01:08:44.200
[Horn Honks]
*@¤ You gave me the word*
*I fiinally heard @¤*
01:08:44.300 --> 01:08:47.800
*@¤I'm doing the best*
*that I can,yeah @¤*
01:08:47.900 --> 01:08:50.800
*@¤I've got to admit*
*it's getting better@¤*
01:08:50.900 --> 01:08:53.500
@¤Better@¤
*@¤A little better*
*all the time @¤*
01:08:53.600 --> 01:08:55.500
*@¤Can't get no worse @¤*
01:08:55.600 --> 01:08:58.100
*@¤I have to admit*
*it's getting better@¤*
01:08:58.200 --> 01:09:00.300
@¤Better@¤
*@¤It's getting better@¤*
01:09:00.400 --> 01:09:02.800
*@¤Since you've been mine @¤*
Oh, yeah!
01:09:02.900 --> 01:09:05.400
*@¤Getting so much better@¤*
These drapes are so out,
01:09:05.600 --> 01:09:07.100
*@¤All the time @¤*
they're in!
01:09:07.200 --> 01:09:09.600
*@¤It's getting better*
*all the time @¤*
[Chortling] Yeah!
01:09:09.700 --> 01:09:12.900
*- @¤Better, better, better@¤*
- Spin! Spin!
01:09:13.000 --> 01:09:16.400
*@¤It's getting better*
*all the time @¤*
01:09:16.500 --> 01:09:20.300
*@¤Better, better, better@¤*
01:09:23.500 --> 01:09:25.400
[Blubbering]
01:09:33.000 --> 01:09:35.900
[Chortling]
Ooh! Ooh!
01:09:38.300 --> 01:09:43.000
*@¤I have to admit*
*it's getting better@¤*
01:09:43.100 --> 01:09:46.100
*@¤A little better*
*all the time @¤*
[Barking]
01:09:46.200 --> 01:09:50.300
*@¤It can't get no worse @¤*
*@¤ Yes, I admit*
*it's getting better@¤*
01:09:50.400 --> 01:09:52.400
*- @¤It's getting better@¤*
- Bye!
01:09:52.500 --> 01:09:54.500
*@¤Since you've been mine @¤*
01:09:54.600 --> 01:09:58.500
*@¤Getting so much better*
*all the time @¤@¤*
01:10:02.400 --> 01:10:05.300
Okay, we had some good times.
01:10:05.400 --> 01:10:07.300
We cleaned up the house.
01:10:07.500 --> 01:10:10.000
We even managed to work in
an up-tempo pop tune for the sound track.
01:10:10.200 --> 01:10:12.100
That's important.
01:10:12.200 --> 01:10:16.600
I guess there's just one
last thing to check.
01:10:16.800 --> 01:10:20.100
[Gurgling]
Huh?
01:10:22.800 --> 01:10:24.600
[Dings]
01:10:27.400 --> 01:10:29.300
[Dings]
01:10:29.400 --> 01:10:31.500
Looks like everything's
in balance,
01:10:31.600 --> 01:10:33.500
but you're still smoking
way too many cigars.
01:10:33.600 --> 01:10:37.500
*- And you... lay offthe sauce.!*
- [Chuckles]
01:10:37.600 --> 01:10:39.600
Cat,
01:10:39.700 --> 01:10:44.100
this day has been...
amazing.
01:10:44.200 --> 01:10:46.100
Thank you, Cat.
01:10:49.500 --> 01:10:52.500
For everything.
01:10:54.100 --> 01:10:56.000
Conrad?
01:10:57.100 --> 01:10:59.000
Sally?
01:11:01.600 --> 01:11:03.500
Adieu.
01:11:04.900 --> 01:11:07.400
*- [Sally]*
Cat.!
- Cat!
01:11:07.500 --> 01:11:09.900
- Huh?
- Wait, Cat.
- Don't go!
01:11:10.000 --> 01:11:11.600
[Chuckles]
01:11:11.800 --> 01:11:13.900
Uh-oh!
01:11:15.200 --> 01:11:17.100
[Chortling]
01:11:17.200 --> 01:11:20.100
*All right, kids.*
*This place better not be a mess.*
01:11:20.200 --> 01:11:22.700
I'm... home?
01:11:22.800 --> 01:11:25.100
Hi, Mom.
Hi, Mom.
01:11:25.200 --> 01:11:29.200
Miss Walden, home so soon?
The children were angels.
01:11:29.300 --> 01:11:31.600
*- Thanks, Mrs. Kwan.*
- Hello, Joan.
01:11:31.700 --> 01:11:34.900
[Gasps]
Lawrence, what happened to you?
01:11:37.400 --> 01:11:40.000
They... happened to me.
01:11:40.100 --> 01:11:43.500
Your demonic children.
01:11:43.600 --> 01:11:46.600
[Panting]
*They destroyed your house.!*
01:11:46.800 --> 01:11:49.500
Uh...
01:11:49.600 --> 01:11:53.000
[Quinn]
*The house was alive.*
*The wall was made ofpaper.*
01:11:53.100 --> 01:11:57.000
I fell off the cliff.
And the giant cat...
01:11:59.100 --> 01:12:01.100
The giant cat!
01:12:01.200 --> 01:12:03.100
[Whispers]
Tell her.
01:12:03.200 --> 01:12:06.100
Larry, Larry.
01:12:06.200 --> 01:12:08.500
You look terrible,
01:12:08.600 --> 01:12:10.600
and my mom
thinks you're insane.
01:12:10.700 --> 01:12:15.400
This is what we in sales
call "a win-win scenario."
01:12:17.200 --> 01:12:19.900
Joan, you are passing up
the opportunity of a lifetime.
01:12:20.000 --> 01:12:23.800
You know what kind ofkid
your boy is.
01:12:23.900 --> 01:12:27.300
I mean, who are you
going to believe?
01:12:27.400 --> 01:12:31.300
You're right. I do know
what kind ofkid Conrad is.
01:12:31.400 --> 01:12:33.300
He can be irresponsible.
01:12:33.400 --> 01:12:35.800
Yes!
He makes bad choices.
01:12:35.900 --> 01:12:39.500
Sometimes he makes me
want to tear my hair out.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
01:12:39.600 --> 01:12:43.200
But he's a good kid,
and I believe in him.
01:12:43.300 --> 01:12:45.600
Now, I'd like you
to leave.
01:12:45.800 --> 01:12:48.900
Wha... Joan. Joan.
01:12:49.000 --> 01:12:52.300
Joan. Joan.
01:12:52.400 --> 01:12:57.400
Oh, Joan, Joan, Joan!
[Crying]
01:12:59.000 --> 01:13:01.300
[Sneezes]
01:13:01.400 --> 01:13:03.000
[Groaning]
01:13:05.500 --> 01:13:08.800
- Will you marry me, Joan?
- [Groans]
01:13:08.900 --> 01:13:11.900
Oh, Joan, Joan,
Joan, Joan.
01:13:12.000 --> 01:13:15.000
[Sobbing]
01:13:15.100 --> 01:13:18.400
[Squeals]
Yes!
Yeah!
01:13:18.500 --> 01:13:20.500
*[Both Laughing]*
[Conrad]
Yeah.!
01:13:20.600 --> 01:13:25.400
Oh, that's nice.
[Snoring]
01:13:25.800 --> 01:13:28.800
*[People Chattering]*
01:13:29.000 --> 01:13:31.800
Mr. Humberfloob?
Whoa-ho-ho!
01:13:31.900 --> 01:13:35.900
Almost got me again.
Enjoy the party.
01:13:36.000 --> 01:13:40.200
*Mr. Humberfloob.*
Joan, the party's a hit
and the house is immaculate.
01:13:40.300 --> 01:13:42.400
Congratulations.
01:13:42.500 --> 01:13:44.800
[Woman]
*Miss Walden. Uh, Miss Walden.*
01:13:44.900 --> 01:13:48.000
Chicka-ow, chicka-ow,
chica-yee-haw!
Hi, Mom!
01:13:48.100 --> 01:13:51.300
*Honey, yourcupcakes*
*are a huge hit.*
*What did you put in them?*
01:13:51.400 --> 01:13:54.700
Mom, you can make cupcakes
out of anything.
01:13:54.800 --> 01:13:58.200
*Are you telling me*
*you can make cupcakes*
*out ofanything?*
01:13:58.300 --> 01:14:01.900
- Anything.
- Anything?
01:14:02.000 --> 01:14:04.400
So what did you kids
do today, huh?
01:14:04.500 --> 01:14:08.000
[Narrator]
*Well, what would you do*
*ifyour motherasked you?*
01:14:08.100 --> 01:14:11.400
*The family was whole,*
*all thanks to the Cat,*
01:14:11.500 --> 01:14:14.500
*who was dashing and charming,*
*no doubt about that.*
01:14:14.600 --> 01:14:16.500
*He was witty and cultured...*
01:14:16.600 --> 01:14:18.600
*and, well, very endearing...*
01:14:18.700 --> 01:14:20.800
*and tremendously attractive,*
01:14:20.900 --> 01:14:23.100
but in a sort of real way.
01:14:23.200 --> 01:14:26.400
You know, kind of
an approachable way that I think
you don't see these days...
01:14:26.500 --> 01:14:29.400
[Normal Voice]
Oh! Hello! I was just, uh...
01:14:29.500 --> 01:14:33.000
I really should be going.
[Chuckles]
01:14:33.100 --> 01:14:35.400
How'd they get so smart?
01:14:35.600 --> 01:14:39.900
[Whooping]
[Chortling]
01:14:40.000 --> 01:14:43.100
[All Laughing]
Oh, yeah!
01:14:44.200 --> 01:14:45.900
Whoo!
01:14:46.900 --> 01:14:49.200
[Chortling]
01:14:57.400 --> 01:14:59.300
Come on, Things!
Let's go!
01:14:59.400 --> 01:15:02.800
What's on my schedule
for tomorrow?
01:15:02.900 --> 01:15:05.900
What do you say
we go on vacation?
[Chortling]
01:15:06.000 --> 01:15:09.800
How 'bout Hawaii?
I like Hawaii.
01:15:09.900 --> 01:15:13.700
I should warn you,
there are certain places that
don't allow certain Things.
01:15:13.800 --> 01:15:18.700
[Chuckling]
*Oh, Things are complicated.*
01:15:25.300 --> 01:15:33.600
Subrip By PrimeEvil
Fixed By Pacman
01:15:39.700 --> 01:15:42.900
*@¤ Things are getting weird*
*Things are getting tough @¤*
01:15:43.100 --> 01:15:46.300
*@¤Nothing's making sense*
*but you keep on looking up @¤*
01:15:46.400 --> 01:15:49.800
*@¤ They tell you to be true*
*You're trying every day @¤*
01:15:49.900 --> 01:15:53.200
*@¤ To keep it on the real*
*Still you gotta fiind a way @¤*
01:15:53.300 --> 01:15:56.800
*@¤ To make your mama happy*
*To make your papa proud @¤*
01:15:56.900 --> 01:16:00.100
*@¤ You wanna turn it up*
*but all you hear is "tone it down"@¤*
01:16:00.200 --> 01:16:03.600
*@¤So gather'round*
*I'm here to say @¤*
01:16:03.700 --> 01:16:07.100
*@¤ You'll never make everybody's day @¤*
01:16:07.200 --> 01:16:09.900
*@¤But while you're around*
*you might as well @¤*
01:16:10.100 --> 01:16:13.000
*@¤Catch the tiger by its tail @¤*
01:16:13.100 --> 01:16:15.500
*@¤And hang on*
*hang on, hang on @¤*
01:16:15.600 --> 01:16:19.000
*@¤Everybodyjust get on*
*get on, get on @¤*
01:16:19.100 --> 01:16:22.400
*@¤Get started*
*and go on, go on, go on @¤*
01:16:22.500 --> 01:16:27.900
*@¤Everybodyjust hold on @¤*
01:16:28.000 --> 01:16:31.600
*@¤Sometimes I wanna cry*
*orthrow the towel in @¤*
01:16:31.700 --> 01:16:35.000
*@¤ You try to bring me down*
*but I'll take it on the chin @¤*
01:16:35.100 --> 01:16:38.600
*@¤And everywhere I go*
*the people are the same @¤*
01:16:38.700 --> 01:16:42.000
*@¤ Theyjust want to know*
*that everything will be okay @¤*
01:16:42.200 --> 01:16:45.500
*@¤ When things are getting rough*
*they turn it back around @¤*
01:16:45.600 --> 01:16:48.900
*@¤ You gotta turn it up*
*when they tell you "tone it down"@¤*
01:16:49.000 --> 01:16:52.400
*@¤So gather'round*
*I'm here to say @¤*
01:16:52.500 --> 01:16:55.900
*@¤ You'll never make everybody's day @¤*
01:16:56.000 --> 01:16:58.700
*@¤But while you're around*
*you might as well @¤*
01:16:58.800 --> 01:17:01.600
*@¤Catch the tiger by its tail @¤*
01:17:01.700 --> 01:17:04.200
*@¤And hang on*
*hang on, hang on @¤*
01:17:04.300 --> 01:17:07.500
@¤Everybodyjust
*get on, get on, get on @¤*
01:17:07.600 --> 01:17:11.000
*@¤Get started*
*and go on, go on, go on @¤*
01:17:11.100 --> 01:17:15.400
*@¤Everybodyjust hold on @¤*
01:17:15.500 --> 01:17:20.400
*@¤Just hang on @¤*
01:17:34.200 --> 01:17:37.500
*@¤So gather'round*
*I'm here to say @¤*
01:17:37.600 --> 01:17:41.100
*@¤ You'll never make everybody's day @¤*
01:17:41.200 --> 01:17:43.900
*@¤But while you're around*
*you might as well @¤*
01:17:44.000 --> 01:17:47.000
*@¤Catch a tiger by its tail @¤*
01:17:47.100 --> 01:17:49.400
*@¤And hang on*
*hang on, hang on @¤*
01:17:49.500 --> 01:17:52.800
@¤Everybodyjust
*get on, get on, get on @¤*
01:17:52.900 --> 01:17:56.300
*@¤Get started*
*and go on, go on, go on @¤*
01:17:56.400 --> 01:18:01.200
*@¤Everybodyjust hold on @¤*
01:18:01.300 --> 01:18:03.200
*@¤Hang on, hang on, hang on @¤*
01:18:03.300 --> 01:18:06.600
@¤Everybodyjust
*get on, get on, get on @¤*
01:18:06.700 --> 01:18:10.100
*@¤Get started*
*and go on, go on, go on @¤*
01:18:10.200 --> 01:18:14.500
*@¤Everybodyjust hold on @¤*
01:18:14.600 --> 01:18:23.900
*@¤Just hang on @¤@¤*