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How to Find a Core Belief
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Hello there.
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We are creators.
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We are extensions of what
we call God or Source.
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As such, we are creating
our collective reality
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as well as our lives
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with the thoughts that
we think every single day.
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Even if you don't believe
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that your thoughts literally weave
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the fabric of our reality,
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it's undeniable that the
thoughts that we think,
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dictate the decisions we make,
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and that the decisions
that we make,
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plot the course of our entire lives.
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So it's easy to see
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how living a happy life
really does depend
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upon finding these
thoughts and beliefs
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that are painful,
and changing them.
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There are beliefs that we
could call surface beliefs.
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Beliefs like, black people are angry,
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kids should clean their rooms,
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I have to keep my job,
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women are flaky.
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These kinds of thoughts
are like branches of a tree.
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Each one of them is the by-product
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of a deeper core belief.
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The core belief is like
the root of a tree.
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Core beliefs are the building blocks
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of the life that we're living.
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They're the source from
which everything grows,
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and most importantly,
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they are the very source
of how we see ourselves,
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and how we see the
universe we live in.
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They're both the root of the joy
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and the root of the
suffering in our lives.
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Some examples of core beliefs are:
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"I am unlovable."
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"I will be hurt if I get
close to someone."
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Or, "There is no point to life."
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Core beliefs can be
positive or negative,
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but for the sake of this episode,
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I'm going to focus on
negatives core beliefs
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because they're the ones
that are not working for us.
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Core beliefs are mostly subconscious.
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They are the result of
impactful experiences
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that we had in our childhoods.
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Most often core
beliefs are the result
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of repeated experiences
that are similar.
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When we experience those things,
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and we get those core beliefs
as a result of those experiences,
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they become inflexible
and deeply, deeply rooted.
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As a result, what we
tend to do is to ignore
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anything that invalidates those beliefs,
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while paying attention to
anything that validates them.
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Thus we get more proof,
thus we believe it more.
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Thus we get more proof,
thus we believe it more.
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It's a never ending cycle,
until this particular belief,
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quite literally is the foundation
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of the life that we are living.
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When it comes to core beliefs
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these are thoughts that
we have thought so often,
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that our subconscious mind
has now taken them over.
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Because they're a part of
the subconscious mind
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we are no longer
aware of them.
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They become a part
of the human shadow.
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That's why finding core beliefs
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and changing core beliefs,
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is a big part of shadow work.
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If you want to understand more
about what shadow work is,
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you can watch my video
on YouTube titled:
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What Is Shadow Work?
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That being said, we can
become aware of,
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and find our core beliefs.
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In order to find your core beliefs,
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what you have to
do is to be aware
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of the things that
are upsetting you,
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or aware of the fact
that you are upset.
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If you find yourself becoming upset,
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what has happen is the
universe has set-you-up
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to find something out
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that was buried in the subconscious.
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When we find ourselves getting upset
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we have the prime opportunity
to find our core beliefs.
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So when you find
yourself getting upset,
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you have to notice what
it is that is upsetting you,
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then you have to sit down and
deliberately begin the process
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of actively and consciously
questioning your upsetness
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in a very specific way to
whittle these thoughts down,
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to the deepest core thought
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which is causing the
pain in your life.
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We do this with two
specific questions.
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The two questions that we ask are:
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1. If that is 100% true,
why is that so bad?
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2. What does that mean to
me, or mean about me?
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So let's say that you notice
that you become upset
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because you get home
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and the house is a total
and complete mess.
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You begin with the most surface
thought that you can find,
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which is in this case
would be the judgement"
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"The house is a mess."
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I've written down an example
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of a core belief finding session here
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that I'm going to read to you,
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that's the result of this,
"the house is a mess" scenario.
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So I'll read it for you now.
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Let's say that we find
that the house is a mess,
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and that's your statement,
"The house is a mess."
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what you would ask
is the question:
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"If that is 100% true,
why is that so bad?"
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"And/or what does that mean
to me or mean about me?"
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The answer might be,
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"I live in a pigsty."
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OK, I live in a pigsty.
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"If that's 100% true,
why is that so bad?"
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"And/or what does that
mean to me, or about me?"
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The answer might be:
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"It means no one
respects my house."
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OK, no one respects my house.
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"If that is 100% true,
why is that so bad?"
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"And/or what does that
mean, or mean about me?"
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The answer might be:
"No one cares how I feel."
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If that is 100% true,
why is that so bad?
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"And/or what does that mean
to me, or mean about me?"
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The answer might be:
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"It's inevitable that I'm
going to be hurt by people."
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"If that is 100% true,
why is that so bad?"
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"And/or what does that mean
to me, or mean about me?"
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The answer might be:
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"Suffering is the purpose of life."
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"If that is 100% true,
why is that so bad?"
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"And/or what does that mean
to me, or mean about me?"
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"Life is a punishment."
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"If that is 100% true,
why is that so bad?"
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"And/or what does that mean
to me, or mean about me?"
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Answer:
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"It means I'm bad."
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"If that is 100% true,
why is that so bad?"
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"And/or what does that mean
to me, or mean about me?"
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The answer might be:
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"I'll be unloved."
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"If that is 100% true,
why is that so bad?"
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"And/or what does that mean
to me or mean about me?"
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The answer might be:
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"I'm all alone."
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"I'm all alone"
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is the core belief in
this particular scenario.
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What's ironic is that,
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the person who came
home in this scenario,
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and saw that their
house was a mess,
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in fact immediately had that
belief triggered:
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"I'm alone."
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So, the very bottom core belief
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correlates the very first statement;
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"If house is a mess, then I'm alone."
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When you're in the process
of finding a core belief,
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you want to be very
careful about justifications.
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Justifications are a kind of cop-out
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to not have to see your shadow.
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So an example of a justification
might be something like:
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"The house is messy,
why would that be so bad?"
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"Because it makes me feel
like people don't care."
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"Why would that be so bad?"
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"Well because people should care
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otherwise I can't feel good."
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That is a cop-out, that's a justification.
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When the real answer
might be something like:
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"Well if they don't care
about me, I'm all alone."
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So we have the tendency,
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especially when we're right on
top of the deepest core belief,
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to at the very last second,
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veer in the direction
of justifying why
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the previous thought was true,
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instead of looking at
why it really scares us.
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Why it really is so bad.
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You can apply this
process of questioning
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to any thought or any
judgement which you can posses,
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and believe me, you
will be blown away
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at what some of your
core beliefs are.
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Now it's important to understand,
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that with some judgments, when
you start this core belief process,
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you might find multiple core beliefs.
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That was the case with
this previous exercise.
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You may have a difficult time
identifying with a core belief.
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Because it's so subconscious,
when you see it consciously,
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it might seem absolutely ridiculous.
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Or you might see
that particular belief,
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and feel like you're going
to fall to your knees,
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because it is so incredibly impactful
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and so incredibly true at such
a basic level of your being.
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For some of these
core belief exercises,
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you will find multiple core beliefs.
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Definitive statements
about your life or yourself.
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What you want to do is to
work on all of these beliefs,
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not just the bottom
or the core one.
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the one that makes
you feel like:
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"that's the one, I can stop right there."
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"Because if I question it
further, it just goes in a loop."
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For example, in the above
scenario which I gave you,
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the thought: "No one cares how I feel,"
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needs to be questioned.
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So does the thought: "I am bad."
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Once we find the core belief
which is causing our upset
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or the multiple beliefs that
are lending to our upset,
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we can begin to question them.
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My favorite process
for questioning beliefs
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was actually invented by Byron Katie.
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It's a process called The Work.
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So I highly suggest you look
into that particular process
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and apply those to your core beliefs.
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Then, you can go about
changing those beliefs.
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To learn how to change a belief,
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you can look at my
YouTube video titled:
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How to Change a Belief
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We need to begin consciously
challenging these beliefs
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and looking for proof
that they are not true.
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We also need to use
these core beliefs
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to determine what we
would rather believe.
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So once you find your
core belief, ask yourself:
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"What would I rather believe?"
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And begin looking for proof
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that this new belief is true.
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Read and watch and
seek out any material
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that supports this new belief.
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As you go about your
daily life, ask yourself:
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"What would I do
right now if I believed
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this new belief with all my heart?"
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and do those things.
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With enough focus,
you will manifest
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more proof that
the new belief is true,
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and the belief will become
stronger and stronger,
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until it has completely
replaced the old core belief.
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Most of us struggle
for years against
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beliefs that are deeply
rooted within our being.
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We do everything we can
to push against them,
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to try to succeed despite them,
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when all we really
need to do is to sit down,
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to become conscious of
these particular core beliefs,
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to question the way we see them,
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and to change them.
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Yes it's a bit time consuming,
but look at it this way;
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you could spend months
or years of your life,
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doing everything you can
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to try to pull in the opposite
direction of these beliefs,
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and do so moderately successfully,
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if successfully at all,
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because it's like trying
to hang to an anchor
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at the same time as trying
to paddle down a stream.
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Or, what you can do,
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is you can take an hour
or two out of your time,
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focus directly at the
particular core belief,
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and replace it,
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so that it's actually
no longer creating
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a challenge for you in your life.
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Have a good week.
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Subtitles by: Tanya Duarte
& The YouTube Community