How to Find a Core Belief
Hello there.
We are creators.
We are extensions of what
we call God or Source.
As such, we are creating
our collective reality
as well as our lives
with the thoughts that
we think every single day.
Even if you don't believe
that your thoughts literally weave
the fabric of our reality,
it's undeniable that the
thoughts that we think,
dictate the decisions we make,
and that the decisions
that we make,
plot the course of our entire lives.
So it's easy to see
how living a happy life
really does depend
upon finding these
thoughts and beliefs
that are painful,
and changing them.
There are beliefs that we
could call surface beliefs.
Beliefs like, black people are angry,
kids should clean their rooms,
I have to keep my job,
women are flaky.
These kinds of thoughts
are like branches of a tree.
Each one of them is the by-product
of a deeper core belief.
The core belief is like
the root of a tree.
Core beliefs are the building blocks
of the life that we're living.
They're the source from
which everything grows,
and most importantly,
they are the very source
of how we see ourselves,
and how we see the
universe we live in.
They're both the root of the joy
and the root of the
suffering in our lives.
Some examples of core beliefs are:
"I am unlovable."
"I will be hurt if I get
close to someone."
Or, "There is no point to life."
Core beliefs can be
positive or negative,
but for the sake of this episode,
I'm going to focus on
negatives core beliefs
because they're the ones
that are not working for us.
Core beliefs are mostly subconscious.
They are the result of
impactful experiences
that we had in our childhoods.
Most often core
beliefs are the result
of repeated experiences
that are similar.
When we experience those things,
and we get those core beliefs
as a result of those experiences,
they become inflexible
and deeply, deeply rooted.
As a result, what we
tend to do is to ignore
anything that invalidates those beliefs,
while paying attention to
anything that validates them.
Thus we get more proof,
thus we believe it more.
Thus we get more proof,
thus we believe it more.
It's a never ending cycle,
until this particular belief,
quite literally is the foundation
of the life that we are living.
When it comes to core beliefs
these are thoughts that
we have thought so often,
that our subconscious mind
has now taken them over.
Because they're a part of
the subconscious mind
we are no longer
aware of them.
They become a part
of the human shadow.
That's why finding core beliefs
and changing core beliefs,
is a big part of shadow work.
If you want to understand more
about what shadow work is,
you can watch my video
on YouTube titled:
What Is Shadow Work?
That being said, we can
become aware of,
and find our core beliefs.
In order to find your core beliefs,
what you have to
do is to be aware
of the things that
are upsetting you,
or aware of the fact
that you are upset.
If you find yourself becoming upset,
what has happen is the
universe has set-you-up
to find something out
that was buried in the subconscious.
When we find ourselves getting upset
we have the prime opportunity
to find our core beliefs.
So when you find
yourself getting upset,
you have to notice what
it is that is upsetting you,
then you have to sit down and
deliberately begin the process
of actively and consciously
questioning your upsetness
in a very specific way to
whittle these thoughts down,
to the deepest core thought
which is causing the
pain in your life.
We do this with two
specific questions.
The two questions that we ask are:
1. If that is 100% true,
why is that so bad?
2. What does that mean to
me, or mean about me?
So let's say that you notice
that you become upset
because you get home
and the house is a total
and complete mess.
You begin with the most surface
thought that you can find,
which is in this case
would be the judgement"
"The house is a mess."
I've written down an example
of a core belief finding session here
that I'm going to read to you,
that's the result of this,
"the house is a mess" scenario.
So I'll read it for you now.
Let's say that we find
that the house is a mess,
and that's your statement,
"The house is a mess."
what you would ask
is the question:
"If that is 100% true,
why is that so bad?"
"And/or what does that mean
to me or mean about me?"
The answer might be,
"I live in a pigsty."
OK, I live in a pigsty.
"If that's 100% true,
why is that so bad?"
"And/or what does that
mean to me, or about me?"
The answer might be:
"It means no one
respects my house."
OK, no one respects my house.
"If that is 100% true,
why is that so bad?"
"And/or what does that
mean, or mean about me?"
The answer might be:
"No one cares how I feel."
If that is 100% true,
why is that so bad?
"And/or what does that mean
to me, or mean about me?"
The answer might be:
"It's inevitable that I'm
going to be hurt by people."
"If that is 100% true,
why is that so bad?"
"And/or what does that mean
to me, or mean about me?"
The answer might be:
"Suffering is the purpose of life."
"If that is 100% true,
why is that so bad?"
"And/or what does that mean
to me, or mean about me?"
"Life is a punishment."
"If that is 100% true,
why is that so bad?"
"And/or what does that mean
to me, or mean about me?"
Answer:
"It means I'm bad."
"If that is 100% true,
why is that so bad?"
"And/or what does that mean
to me, or mean about me?"
The answer might be:
"I'll be unloved."
"If that is 100% true,
why is that so bad?"
"And/or what does that mean
to me or mean about me?"
The answer might be:
"I'm all alone."
"I'm all alone"
is the core belief in
this particular scenario.
What's ironic is that,
the person who came
home in this scenario,
and saw that their
house was a mess,
in fact immediately had that
belief triggered:
"I'm alone."
So, the very bottom core belief
correlates the very first statement;
"If house is a mess, then I'm alone."
When you're in the process
of finding a core belief,
you want to be very
careful about justifications.
Justifications are a kind of cop-out
to not have to see your shadow.
So an example of a justification
might be something like:
"The house is messy,
why would that be so bad?"
"Because it makes me feel
like people don't care."
"Why would that be so bad?"
"Well because people should care
otherwise I can't feel good."
That is a cop-out, that's a justification.
When the real answer
might be something like:
"Well if they don't care
about me, I'm all alone."
So we have the tendency,
especially when we're right on
top of the deepest core belief,
to at the very last second,
veer in the direction
of justifying why
the previous thought was true,
instead of looking at
why it really scares us.
Why it really is so bad.
You can apply this
process of questioning
to any thought or any
judgement which you can posses,
and believe me, you
will be blown away
at what some of your
core beliefs are.
Now it's important to understand,
that with some judgments, when
you start this core belief process,
you might find multiple core beliefs.
That was the case with
this previous exercise.
You may have a difficult time
identifying with a core belief.
Because it's so subconscious,
when you see it consciously,
it might seem absolutely ridiculous.
Or you might see
that particular belief,
and feel like you're going
to fall to your knees,
because it is so incredibly impactful
and so incredibly true at such
a basic level of your being.
For some of these
core belief exercises,
you will find multiple core beliefs.
Definitive statements
about your life or yourself.
What you want to do is to
work on all of these beliefs,
not just the bottom
or the core one.
the one that makes
you feel like:
"that's the one, I can stop right there."
"Because if I question it
further, it just goes in a loop."
For example, in the above
scenario which I gave you,
the thought: "No one cares how I feel,"
needs to be questioned.
So does the thought: "I am bad."
Once we find the core belief
which is causing our upset
or the multiple beliefs that
are lending to our upset,
we can begin to question them.
My favorite process
for questioning beliefs
was actually invented by Byron Katie.
It's a process called The Work.
So I highly suggest you look
into that particular process
and apply those to your core beliefs.
Then, you can go about
changing those beliefs.
To learn how to change a belief,
you can look at my
YouTube video titled:
How to Change a Belief
We need to begin consciously
challenging these beliefs
and looking for proof
that they are not true.
We also need to use
these core beliefs
to determine what we
would rather believe.
So once you find your
core belief, ask yourself:
"What would I rather believe?"
And begin looking for proof
that this new belief is true.
Read and watch and
seek out any material
that supports this new belief.
As you go about your
daily life, ask yourself:
"What would I do
right now if I believed
this new belief with all my heart?"
and do those things.
With enough focus,
you will manifest
more proof that
the new belief is true,
and the belief will become
stronger and stronger,
until it has completely
replaced the old core belief.
Most of us struggle
for years against
beliefs that are deeply
rooted within our being.
We do everything we can
to push against them,
to try to succeed despite them,
when all we really
need to do is to sit down,
to become conscious of
these particular core beliefs,
to question the way we see them,
and to change them.
Yes it's a bit time consuming,
but look at it this way;
you could spend months
or years of your life,
doing everything you can
to try to pull in the opposite
direction of these beliefs,
and do so moderately successfully,
if successfully at all,
because it's like trying
to hang to an anchor
at the same time as trying
to paddle down a stream.
Or, what you can do,
is you can take an hour
or two out of your time,
focus directly at the
particular core belief,
and replace it,
so that it's actually
no longer creating
a challenge for you in your life.
Have a good week.
Subtitles by: Tanya Duarte
& The YouTube Community