How can I forgive those who harm my family and friends?

(Half bell)

(Bell)

I am very protecttive of the people
I am close to, like family and friends.

And I know that I must be compassionate
to all people,

but I have a harder time forgiving
somebody that is harmful to one of them,

instead of to me or to myself.

I am not sure whether you have any
recommendations on how to deal with that.

Dear Thay, dear Sangha,

our friend, Chad, he feels very protective
towards those he loves,

his family and his friends.

And when someone else done something
that harms his family or his friends,

he has a hard time practicing compassion,
feeling compassionate towards that person.

He would like some guidance

on how he could be more compassionate
in those situations.

In fact, compassion is a kind
of protection

and the most effective protection
that you have.

If you don't have compassion,
you allow fear, anger to express,

and that will draw attention to you and
makes them afraid of you

and they will attack you
because they are also afraid.

That is why, with compassion,
with understanding,

because understanding is possible.

But when you look at the aggressive
people, you see that they suffer.

They have violence in them,
they have anger in them.

They don't have much joy and compassion,

that is why, they suffer.

And when they suffer, they make
other people around them suffer too.

And when we have time to look at them,
we will understand

and naturally, compassion
will arise in us.

We are not afraid of them anymore,
we do not hate them anymore.

In fact, we want to do something or to say
something, to help them suffer less.

And if you know how to generate
compassion and joy,

we can find skillful means
in order to help them to do the same.

And if they are joyful and compassionate,
they will become harmless.

And that is the best way
to protect ourselves.

So, generate compassion in our own self,

and help to generate compassion
in another person,

is the best way to protect ourselves,
to be in true security.

(Half bell)

(Bell)