Black Jeopardy with Elizabeth Banks - SNL

[Announcer] This is Black Jeopardy!

[Cheers]

[Hayes] Yeah, alright.

What up? What up?

Welcome to Black Jeopardy,

the only jeopardy that's produced
entirely in cash. (laughter)

I'm your host Darnell Hayes.

Our contestants are Amir.

[Amie] Come on now bro.

[Hayes] Keeley.

[Keeley] Hi.

[Hayes] And Alison.

[Alison] Thank you, so good to be here.

(laughter)

[Hayes] Uh, Alison you know
this is Black Jeopardy right?

[Alison] Oh yeah, I dated a black guy once.

So, I don't see color, it's just Jeopardy to me.

[Hayes] Okay, we'll see how that goes.
(Laughter)

Let's check out our categories.

We got 'It ain't like that'

'Who's try'na'

'I don't know you!'

'Shaking my head'

'What had happened was'

and as always 'White people.'

Amir you're our returning champ you pick.

[Amir] Okay, okay, cool, let's do
'I don't know you' for 200.

[Hayes] Okay the answer there

'The cashier wants your phone
number for a price plus card.'

Amir!

[Amir] What is 'I don't know you,
you ain't puttin me in the system.'

[Hayes] That's right!

That's right, big brother you know
what I'm sayin', big brother.

Go ahead Amir.

[Amir] Okay, cool, let me get
'I don't know you' for 4.

[Hayes] Okay, 'The waiter wants
to know if you got allergies.

Keeley!

[Keeley] What is, I don't know you.
If I'm itchy that's my buisness.

[Hayes] You damn right!

You damn right, what I can't
even itch when I wanna? Come on.

[Keeley] Right!

Okay let's stick with 'I don't know you.'

[Hayes] Okay the answer 'The man in the bus
station says he needs to use your phone

due to a personal emergency.'

Alison!

[Alison] What is 'I don't know you
or what you've been through

so I have no right to judge your experience.'

(Laughter)

[Hayes] No.

(Laughter)

Might be a long night for you Alison.

(Laughter)

Keeley, still your pick.

[Keeley] Okay, let me get
'Who's try'na' for 200.

[Hayes] Okay the answer,

'He try'na act like nothing happened.'

Amir!

[Amir] Oh who is Jason Pierre Paul.

[Hayes] Oh you damn right!

(Laughter)
You damn right! Come on man!

He ain't got no damn fingers!

(Laughter)

What you think we ain't going to notice?
He out there wit a Gumby hand, come on.

(Laughter)

[Amir] Alright, uh let's stick wit 'Who's try'na.'

[Hayes] Okay, 'They try'na act
like Jesus don't exist.'

Keeley!

[Keeley] What is Starbucks?

[Hayes] That's it.

(Laughter) That's it, it's a shame.

(Laughter) It's a shame.

[Keeley] Okay, let's stay with
'Who's try'na' for 600.

[Hayes] Okay the answer,

'After everything he did, he try'na act like
he don't owe us an explanation.'

Alison!

[Alison] Who is Bill Cosby?

[Hayes] No.

(Laughter)

I'm sorry, but no.

The answer was Tom Brady.

(Laughter)

Tired of him winnin' all the time,
you know what I'm sayin?

[Alison] It's just as a white person, I'm not
really sure how to answer these questions.

[Hayes] Oh I'm sorry, you're white?

I don't see color.

(Laughter)

Let's just hear about today's prizes, Johnny!

[Johnny] Thanks Darnell, today's
Black Jeopardy winner will receive

a gift certificate to Leonard's
All White Menswear Palace.

All white suits in shades eggshell to pearl!

Be the hit of your prom, funeral, or NBA draft!

Made for distinguished black
man and a few fancy lesbians.

Leonard's All White Menswear Palace.

And Long ass wires!

Now you can have cable television
in every room of your house.

It's easy, with long ass wires.

Back to you Darnell.

[Hayes] I like that long ass wire (chuckels).

Okay Amir, the board is yours.

[Amir] Okay, okay, okay, uh let's go over
to 'What had happened was' for 400.

[Hayes] Okay and the answer there,
'Your lights went off.'

Keeley!

[Keeley] See what had happened
was I was on my way to pay the bill

and then I just didn't.

[Hayes] (chuckles) Yeah, yeah that happens.
That happens.

[Keeley] Let's stay with
'What had happened was' for 8.

[Hayes] Okay.

We were there. Where were you?

Alison!

[Alison] Well it just so happens...

[Hayes] (buzzer) No.

No.

[Alison] Okay no, uh what
happened in this particular case...

[Hayes] (buzzer) No!

I appreciate you trying though,
why don't you go ahead and pick.

[Alison] Alright, let's do
'It ain't like that' for 800.

[Hayes] Okay and the answer... Oh!

Looks like you got the video Daily Double!

And you're a little behind Alison,
but you could catch up right here.

Let's see the clue.

[Leslie] What's up!

In 1943 and artist named Archibald
Motley painted the picture behind me.

My question is, after all these years,
who killed Tupac?

(Laughter)

[Hayes] Alison?

[Alison] Okay, I think I'm
getting the hang of this.

I'm going to say, Tupac was killed by a
corrupt justice system that threatens us all!

[Hayes] Oh I'm sorry,
but that was a trick question!

The answer is that Tupac is still alive!

(Laughter)
[Amir] Uh-huh!

Yeah, yeah, absolutely!

He's down in Cuba at the Illuminati Hotel.
That's where he at.

[Alison] It's just (ugh) like no
matter what I do I can't win.

(Ding-Ding-Ding)
[Hayes] Yes!

That is the blackest thing
you said all day Alison!

(Cheers)

All the points go to you!

[♪Slow Jams♪]

Uh-oh! The sound of slow jams means
it's time to leave the party.

So we gon take a break, when we come back one of our contestants will win 2 tickets to Love and Hiphop on Ice!

[Alison] Oh! That sounds fun, what is that?

(Applause)

[Kenan] Thanks for watching
and remember to subscribe!

Now it's laser time!
(pew, pew, pew)