Alfred Hitchcock: The Lady Vanishes

[suspenseful music]

[sprightly music]

[speaking German]

- Oh, Junior, Bulgaro,
double joy.

[trumpet fanfare]

[men arguing]

Allo!

[speaking Russian]

[speaking Italian]

[chuckles]

[speaking French]

- What's all this fuss about,
Charters?

- I'm hanged if I know.

[speaking German]

- Danke schoen.
Danke schoen.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm very sorry.

The train
is little bit uphold,

and if you wish
to stay in my hotel,

you have to register
immediately.

- Why the deuce didn't he say so
in the first place?

- Ah!

Oh, how do you do,

Miss Henderson?

How do you do,
ladies?

It's a great honor
to have you with us again.

- It's nice to see
you too, Boris.

You haven't changed a bit
since last Friday.

- Mm, I see you haven't
shaved either.

- Is everything ready?

- Everything is ready.
I didn't change anything.

- Not even the sheets.
We know.

Lead on, Boris.

- You see, I didn't expect you
to come so quickly.

- Well, our legs
gave out on us.

We had to do the last lap
in a farm cart.

- Oh!

- I see we've got company.

Don't tell me Cook's
are running cheap tours here.

- What is it, Boris?

- It's the avalanche.

- Have a lunch?

- Avalanche, Boris,
avalanche.

- You see, in the spring,
we've got many avalanches.

You know, the snow
goes like that, bloop,

and everything disappear.

Even train disappear
under the avalanche.

- But I'm going home
tomorrow.

How long before
they dig it out?

- By morning.
It's lucky for you.

You can leave by this train
instead of your own.

How you said it?

It's a bad wind
that blow nowhere no good.

- Well, talking of wind,
we haven't eaten since dawn.

- Serve us some supper,
Boris, in our room.

- I could eat
a horse.

- Don't put ideas
into his head.

Some chicken,
Boris,

and a magnum
of champagne.

- Absolutely.

- And make it snappy.

Bandrika may have
a dictator,

but tonight,
we're painting it red.

- Meanwhile, we have
to stand here

cooling our heels,
I suppose, eh?

Confounded impudence.

- Well, third-rate country,
what do you expect?

- Wonder who
those women were.

- Hmm, possibly American,
don't you think?

You know, almighty dollar,
old man.

- I suppose
we'll have to wait here.

If only we hadn't missed
that train at Budapest.

- Well, I don't want
to rub it in,

but if you hadn't insisted
on standing up

until they'd finished
their national anthem--

- Yes, but you must
show respect, Caldicott.

If I'd known it was going
to last 20 minutes...

- Well, it's always been
my contention

that the "Hungarian Rhapsody"
is not their national anthem.

Any case, we were
the only two standing.

- That's true.

- Well, I suppose we shall be
in time after all.

- I doubt it.

That last report
was pretty ghastly.

Do you remember:
"England on the brink"?

- Yes, but that's
newspaper sensationalism.

The old country's been
in some tight corners before.

- It looks pretty black.

I mean, even if we get away
first thing tomorrow morning,

there's still
the connection at Basle.

We'll probably be hours.

- Mm, that's true.

- Well, somebody
surely can help us.

Oh, sir, do you
happen to know

what time the train
leaves Basle for England?

- [speaking German]

- Oh, really.

Fellow doesn't
speak English.

[people clamoring]

- [speaking French]

[speaking French]

Allo, Alex?

[speaking Bandrikan]

Champagne,
Miss Henderson.

[speaking Bandrikan]

[speaking French]

[woman speaking French]

- Here's one
leaves Basle 21:20.

- 21:20.

20, 20.
12 from 21 is...

21:20.

11, no.
Yes, it is.

- One, two, three, four.

- I regret, sir,
there is only left

two single room
in front

or a little double room
at the back.

- We'll take
the two singles.

- Very well, sir.
Here is it.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- At least you might have asked me
which I preferred.

- My dear, a small double room
at the back

in a place like this?

- You weren't so particular
in Paris last autumn.

- Oh, it was
quite different then.

The exhibition
was at its height.

- I realize that now.

There's no need
to rub it in.

- We want a private suite
with a bath.

- Facing the mountain.

- With a shower,
of course.

- Hot and cold.

- And a private thingummy
if you've got one.

- Well, I'm sorry,
gentlemen.

The only things I've got
is the maid room.

- The what?
- Maid room?

- Well, I'm sorry.

The whole hotel is packed,
jammed to the sky.

- Oh, but that's impossible.
We haven't fixed up yet.

- Hang it all;
you can't expect

to put the two of us up
in the maid's room.

- Well, don't get excited.
I'll remove the maid out.

- Yes, I should think so.

What?

What are you
talking about?

- Look, I think I'd sooner
sleep on the train.

- There is no eating
on the train.

- No eating
on the train?

- Yes, I mean
ha...heating. Brr.

- Oh, heating,
there's no heating on the train.

- Oh, that's awkward.

All right,
we'll take it.

- Just a minute.
One condition.

You have to have the maid
who comes to your room

remove her wardrobe.

Anna!

She's a good girl,
and I don't want to lose her.

[speaking Bandrikan]

[mumbling
and chuckling]

- We'd better go
and dress.

- Rather primitive humor,
I thought.

- All grown-up children,
you know?

That was rather an awkward
situation over that girl.

- Pity he couldn't have
given us one each.

- Eh?

- I mean a room apiece.

- Oh.

- I, Iris Matilda Henderson,

a spinster
of no particular parish,

do hereby solemnly renounce
my maidenly past

and do declare
that on Thursday next,

the 26th inst,
being in my right mind,

I shall take the veil
and the orange blossom

and change my name
to Lady Charles Fotheringail.

- Can't you get him
to change his name instead?

The only thing I like about him
is his moustache.

- You're a couple of cynics.
I'm very fond of him.

- Well, I'm fond of rabbits,
but they have to be kept down.

- Rudolph,
give me a hand.

- Have you ever read about
that little thing called love?

- It used to be
very popular.

- Child, the carpet
is already laid

at St. George's,
Hanover Square,

and Father
is simply aching

to have a coat of arms
on the jam label.

- To Iris and the happy days
she's leaving behind.

- And the blue-blooded
check chaser

she's dashing to London
to marry.

- The blue-blooded
check chaser.

- I've no regrets.

I've been everywhere
and done everything.

I've eaten caviar at Cannes,
sausage rolls at the dogs.

I've played baccarat
at Biarritz

and darts
with the rural dean.

What is there left for me
but...marriage?

[both speaking Bandrikan]

- [scoffs]

- It's this hanging about
that gets me.

If only we knew
what was happening in England.

- Mustn't lose grip,
Charters.

[knock at door]

Come in.

- [speaking Bandrikan]

[groans]

[speaking Bandrikan]

- Did you
follow that?

- I did.

Tell her this
has gone far enough.

- No...no change...

change here.

Um, outside.

- [speaking Bandrikan]

- She doesn't understand.

- No. Come on.

thud!

thud!

Nothing newer
than last month.

- I don't suppose
there is such a thing

as a wireless set
hereabouts.

- Awful being in the dark
like this, you know, Caldicott,

our communications cut off
in a time of crisis.

- Allo, allo, allo,
London?

You want Mr. Seltzer?

Yes. Hold on.

I'm going right
to find where he is.

- London.

- Go on. Risk it.

- Hello, hello, you,
you in London.

Huh? No, no, no,
I'm not Mr. Seltzer.

Name's Charters.

I don't suppose
you know me.

Huh?

Well, you needn't worry.
They've just gone to fetch him.

Tell me, what's happening
to England?

Blowing a gale?

No, you don't
follow me, sir.

I'm inquiring about
the test match in Manchester.

Cricket, sir, cricket!

What, you don't know?

You can't be in England
and not know the test score.

Fellow says
he doesn't know.

- Oh, silly arse.

- Hello, can't you
find out?

Oh, nonsense.
It won't take a second.

All right, if you won't,
you won't.

Wasting my time.
The fellow's an ignoramus.

- Mr. Seltzer, at last your call
come through to London.

Hello!

Hello, hello!

[speaking Bandrikan]

[man and woman
speaking a foreign language]

- [speaking Bandrikan]

- Thank you, waiter.

- [repeating Bandrikan phrase]

- What would you say
to a grilled steak?

- That's
a very good idea.

- Well done for me,
please.

- On the red side
for me.

- [repeating Bandrikan phrase]

- These people have a passion
for repeating themselves.

- Ahem.
I beg your pardon.

- He's trying
to explain to you

that owing to the large number
of visitors,

there's no food left.

- No food?

What sort of place
is this?

They expect us to share
a blasted dog box

with a servant girl
on an empty stomach?

Is that hospitality?
Is that organization?

Oh, thank you.

- I'm hungry,
you know.

- What a country.

I don't wonder
they have revolutions.

- You're very welcome
to what's left of the cheese.

Of course,
it's not like beefsteak,

but it's awfully rich
in vitamins.

- Oh, really,
thank you very much.

- I'm afraid
they're not accustomed

to catering
for so many people.

Bandrika is one of Europe's
few undiscovered corners.

- Yes, that's probably
because there's nothing

worth discovering,
I should think.

- You may not know it
as well as I do.

I'm feeling quite miserable
at the thought of leaving it.

- After you with the cheese,
please.

- Certainly, old man.
Why not?

So you're going home.

- Tomorrow.

My little charges
are quite grown up.

I am a governess
and music teacher, you know.

In the six years
I've lived here,

I've grown to love the country,
especially the mountains.

I sometimes think they're like
very friendly neighbors,

you know, the big
father and mother mountain

with their white snow hats

and their nephews and nieces,
not quite so big,

with smaller hats,

right down
to the tiniest hillock

without any hat at all.

Well, of course,
that's just my fancy.

- Oh, really?

- I like to watch them
from my bedroom

every night
when there's a moon.

I'm so glad
there's a moon tonight.

Do you hear that music?

[man vocalizing]

Everyone sings here.

The people are just like
happy children,

with laughter on their lips
and music in their hearts.

- It's not reflected
in their politics, you know.

- I never think you should judge
any country by its politics.

After all, we English
are quite honest by nature,

aren't we?

You'll excuse me
if I run away?

- Good night.
Good night.

- Good night.

Queer sort of bird.

- Trifle whimsical,
I thought.

- After six years in this hole,
we'd be whimsical.

- Oh, I don't think so,
old man.

She was very decent
about that cheese.

- I see she's finished
the pickles.

- Good night, Iris.

Listen,
someone's serenading.

- Oh, let him.

Nothing will keep me
awake tonight.

Good night,
my children.

[door clicks shut]

[man vocalizing]

[loud rhythmic thumping]

- What's happening,
an earthquake?

- That would hardly account
for the music, would it?

What a horrible noise.

What could they be doing?

- I don't know,
but I'll soon find out.

Hello.

Musical country, this.

- Yes, I feel quite sorry
for that poor singer outside,

having to compete
with this.

- Boris,
Miss Henderson speaking.

Look, someone upstairs

is playing musical chairs
with an elephant.

Move one of them out, will you?
I want to get some sleep.

All right.

That ought to settle it.

- Thank you so.

Some people have so little
consideration for others,

which makes life so much
more difficult than it need be.

Don't you think?

Good night.
Thank you so much.

I expect you'll be going
for the train in the morning?

- Yes.

- I hope we shall meet again
under quieter circumstances.

Good night.

- Good night.

[speaking Italian]

[speaking Bandrikan]

Miss, please,
I'll fix everything.

- You'd better.

[knocking]

- Hold it.

Splendid, don't move.
Don't move.

- [clears throat]
Uh...

If you please, sir.

- Get out!

One, two.

[music and stomping resume]

- Please, sir,
will you kindly stop?

They are all complaining

in the hotel.

You make too much noise.

- Too much what?

- [meekly]
Too much noise.

- You dare
to call it a noise,

the ancient music with which
your peasant ancestors

celebrated every wedding
for countless generations.

They danced--

they danced when your father
married your mother,

always supposing you were born
in wedlock, which I doubt.

Look at them.

I take it you're the manager
of this hovel.

- Sure, I am the manager
of this hotel.

- Well, fortunately,
I'm accustomed to squalor.

Tell me,
who's complaining?

- This young English lady
underneath.

- Well, you tell the young
English lady underneath

that I am putting on record
for the benefit of mankind

one of the lost folk dances
of central Europe,

and furthermore,
she does not own the hotel.

- But, sir,
don't you understand?

- Now, one, two...

[music and stomping resume]

- You know what he said?

"Who she think she is,
the queen of Sheba?

She think
she owns this hotel?"

- Well, can't you
get rid of him?

- Impossible.

- Are you sure?

- I begin to wonder...

It's come back to me.
I've got an idea.

You see,
the German lady,

she will call him up
on the telephone,

and she say,
"Young man, it's my room.

I did pay for it.
Get out quickly."

How's that, huh?

- Good enough.

We'll eject him
with a little...

He'll never forget
as long as he live.

- Nothing but baseball.

You know,
we used to call it rounders.

Children play it
with a rubber ball and a stick.

Not a word about cricket.

Americans got no sense
of proportion.

[knock at door]

Come in.

[whistling]

[whistling]

- Gute Nacht.

I can't stand
this ridiculous lack of privacy.

Lock the door.

- [speaking Bandrikan]

- Oh!

- Gute Nacht.

- Who are you?

What do you want?

[plays jaunty tune]

- Recognize the signature tune?

- Will you please get out?

- Oh, this is
a much better room.

Definitely
an acceptable room.

- What exactly
do you think you're doing?

Keep away.

- Would you hold those
for a minute?

- Put those back
at once.

- Now, which side
do you like to sleep?

- Do you want me
to throw you out?

- Oh, in that case,
I'll sleep in the middle.

Smart of you
to bribe the manager.

An eye for an eye
and a tooth for a toothbrush.

- I suppose you realize

you're behaving
like a complete cad.

- On the contrary.

You're perfectly at liberty
to sleep in the corridor

if you want to.

- Hello.

- Oh, I shouldn't
if I were you.

I'd only tell everyone
you invited me here.

And when I say everyone,
I mean everyone.

And I have
a powerful voice.

- Come out of there at once!

- Not until you bribe the manager
to restore me to my attic.

- Come out of that bathroom!

- [humming]

- Hello, Boris?

Look, I was thinking
I might change my mind

about that room upstairs if--

- Oh, by the way,

you might have my things
taken upstairs.

Would you?

- You're the most
contemptible person

I've ever met
in all my life!

- [whispering]
Well, confidentially,

I think you're
a bit of a stinker too.

[man humming]

- Ah-ah-ah,
ah-ah-ah-ah

Ah-ah-ah,
ah, ah-ah

Ah-ah-ah-ah,
ah-ah-ah

Ah-ah, ah-ah,
ah-ah-ah

[grunts]

[coin clinks]

Da-da-da, da,
da-da-dee-dee

Da-da-da,
da, da-dee

Da-da-da, da,
da-da-dee-dee

- Well, if we get
to Basle on time,

we should see
the last day of the match.

- I hope the weather's
like this in Manchester.

Perfect wicket
for our fellows.

- Isn't it
somewhere along here?

- If you don't hurry,
Margaret,

we shan't get that compartment
to ourselves.

- Does it matter?

- Well, there's still time
to change your mind, Iris.

- Yes, why not send Charles
a greetings telegram

and tell him
he's all washed up?

- No, it's too late.

This time next week, I shall be
a slightly sunburnt offering

on an altar
in Hanover Square.

I shan't mind, really.

- Oh, good morning.

I can't find my bag.

It's a brown holdall,
you know.

Have you seen--

No, of course not.
Thank you.

Well, I gave it
to the porter.

I can't imagine
where he left it.

- Oh, she dropped
her glasses.

Say, you dropped
your glasses.

- Oh, thank you,
my dear.

Oh, dear,
oh, dear, oh, dear!

- Darling,
are you hurt?

- I don't know.

What was it?

[man muttering in Bandrikan]

- Never mind about that.

This cockeyed station
of yours

has practically brained
my friend.

- Yes, indeed.

- Well, what are you
going to do about it?

[man mutters]

- He says he cannot
hold the train.

[train whistle shrills]

- Hurry up.
It's going.

- I'll be all right, really.

- Are you sure?

Be careful, now.
Be careful.

- Don't worry.
I'll look after her.

Such carelessness.

- Are you sure
you're all right?

- Send us a copy
of the "Times."

- Write and tell us
all about it.

- Good luck.

Look after yourself.

- There, there.

You'll be all right
in a minute.

Just take everything quietly.

Put some of this eau de cologne
on your head.

Do you feel any better?

- Yes, thank you.
I'm all right now.

- What you need
is a good strong cup of tea.

I'll ring
for the attendant.

- No, no,
please don't bother.

I'll go to the dining car
myself.

I need some air.

- Oh, well, in that case,
I'll come with you--

if you don't mind,
that is.

- No, of course not.

- Oh, I beg your pardon.

I'm so sorry.

You can always tell
a honeymoon couple, you know.

They're so shy.

- Why did you do that?

- We don't want people
staring at us.

- Anyone would think
the whole legal profession

were dogging you.

- One would be enough.

- You even thought
that beggar in Damascus

was a barrister
in disguise.

- I merely said his face

was distinguished enough
for a judge.

- You hurried off
in the opposite direction,

I noticed.

- That's not true.

I was looking for a street
called Straight.

- You weren't so careful
the first few days.

- I know. I know.

- And anyway, as for you
meeting someone you know,

what about me?

Robert thinks
I'm cruising with Mother.

- If one's feeling
a little bit shaky,

I always think it's best to sit
in the middle of the coach,

preferably
facing the engine.

A pot of tea for two,
please.

- Very good.

- Oh, and just a minute.

Will you please tell them
to make it from this?

I don't drink
any other.

And make absolutely sure

that the water
is really boiling.

You understand?

It's a little fad
of mine.

My dear father and mother,
who I'm thankful to say

are still alive
and enjoying good health,

invariably drink it,

and so I followed
their footsteps.

Do you know
a million Mexicans drink it?

At least that's what it says
on the packet.

- It's very kind of you
to help me like this.

I don't think
we've introduced ourselves.

My name's Iris Henderson.

I'm going home
to be married.

- Really?
Oh, how very exciting.

I do hope
you'll be happy.

- Thank you.

- You'll have children,
won't you?

They make such a difference.

I always think it's being
with kiddies so much

that's made me, if I may say so,
young for my age.

I'm a governess, you know.

My name's Froy.
[train whistle shrills]

- Did you say Freud?

- No, O-Y, not E-U-D.

Froy.

- I'm sorry.
I can't hear.

- Froy.

It rhymes with "joy."

Thank you.

Please reserve two places
for lunch, will you?

That is if you'd care
to have it with me.

- Of course.

- There's nothing moot
about it.

Simply wasn't out,
that's all.

But for the umpire's blunder,
he'd probably still be batting.

- What do you mean?
I don't understand.

- I'll show you.
Look here.

I saw the whole thing.

Now, then,
there's Hammond.

There's the bowler.

There's the umpire.

- Sugar?

- Two, please.

- Dear me.

There is no sugar.

- Now, watch this
very, very carefully, Caldicott.

Grimmett was bowling.

- May I trouble you
for the sugar, please?

- What?

- The sugar, please.

Thank you so much.

If I were you,
I'd try and get a little sleep.

It'll make you feel
quite well again.

There's a most intriguing
acrostic in the "Needlewoman."

I'm going to try and unravel it
before you wake up.

[laughter]

[Froy humming]

Da-da-da, da,
da-da-dee-dee

Da-da-da, da

[train whistle shrills]

[man speaking
a foreign language]

- Reservations
for lunch, please.

- Have been made.

- Da?

- Bin da.

- Madame has booked
for lunch?

- Oh, I think
my friend did.

She's got
the tickets.

Have you seen
my friend?

- No.

- My friend,
where is she?

La signora inglese,

the English lady,
where is she?

- There has been
no English lady here.

- What?

- There has been
no English lady here.

- But there has.
She sat there in the corner.

You saw her.
You spoke to her.

She sat next to you.

But it's ridiculous.

She took me to the dining car
and came back here with me.

- You went
and came back alone.

- Maybe you don't understand.

I mean the lady
who looked after me

when I was knocked out.

- Ah, perhaps it make you
forget, eh?

- Well, I may be
very dense,

but if this is
some sort of a joke,

I'm afraid
I don't see the point.

Oh, steward,
you served me tea just now.

- Yes, madame.

- Well, have you seen
the lady I was with,

the English lady?

- But madame was alone.

- [man speaking Bandrikan]

Pardon, madame.
He make mistake.

- Well, of course.

He must remember
the little English lady.

She ordered the tea
and paid for it.

- No, it is you
who paid.

[both speaking Bandrikan]

- He say to look at the bill.
I will look, madame.

- But she gave you
a special packet of tea.

You can't
have forgotten that.

- The tea was ours, madame.
I received no packet.

- But you did.
I know what happened.

- Pardon, madame, the bill:
tea for one.

- But that's not right.

- Perhaps madame would care
to examine the bills herself.

- No, I wouldn't.
The whole thing's too absurd.

Please, have you seen
a lady pass through?

Oh.

- Well, well,
if it isn't old stinker.

If I thought you were going
to be on this train,

I'd have stayed another week
in the hotel.

Lady? No, why?

- It doesn't matter.

You probably wouldn't
recognize one anyway.

- Hello. Feeling queer?

- It's that pipe of yours,
George.

Why don't you throw
your old socks away?

Never mind.

Thanks for the help
all the same.

Come on, sit down.
Take it easy.

What's the trouble?

- If you must know,
something fell on my head.

- When, infancy?

- At the station.

- Oh, bad luck.
Can I help?

- No, only by going away.

- No, no, no, no,
my father always taught me:

never desert
a lady in trouble.

He even carried that
as far as marrying Mother.

- I say, did you see
a little lady

last night in the hotel
in tweeds?

- I only saw
one little lady.

She was hardly
in tweeds.

- Yes, but she was
in my compartment,

and now I can't find her.

- She must be
still on the train.

We haven't stopped
since we started.

- Of course she's still
on the train; I know that.

- All right, all right.
Nobody said she isn't.

- Yes, but that's just
what they are saying.

- Who?

- The rest of the people
in the compartment

and the stewards.

They insist
they never saw her.

- All of them?
- All of them.

- You were saying you got
a knock on the head?

- What do you mean?

- Never mind.
Do you talk the lingo?

- No.

- Oh, well,
they probably thought

you were trying
to borrow some money.

Come on, let's knock the idea
out of their stupid heads.

A most unfortunate remark.
I beg your pardon.

[speaking Italian]

- That's one of them,
the little dark man.

- I say, excuse me.

I think there's been
a little misunderstanding.

This young lady seems
to have lost her friend.

- Yes, I have heard.

This gentleman
has been explaining to me.

It's most interesting.

And I think,
under the circumstances,

we shall all
introduce ourselves.

- I am Italian citizen.

My wife and child.

- How do you do?

Oh, bonny little chap.
How old is he?

- 1934 class, si.

And the lady in the corner:
Isabel Nisatona.

- Oh, yes,
I met her husband.

He presented prizes
at the Folk Dance Festival.

Minister of Propaganda.

- And I am Dr. Egon Hartz
of Prague.

You may have heard of me.

- Not the brain specialist.

- Yes, the same.

- Oh, yes, you flew
over to England the other day

and operated on one
of our cabinet ministers.

- Oh, yes.

- Tell me,
did you find anything?

- A slight
cerebral contusion.

- Oh, well, that's better
than nothing.

- But I am picking up
a similar case

at the next station

but so much
more complicated.

I shall operate at
the National Hospital tonight.

Among other things,

a cranial fracture
with compression.

Do you understand?

- Oh, yes,
a wallop on the bean.

- I suppose you
haven't seen my friend.

- Unfortunately, no.

- I'll just take a word
with the baroness.

Excuse me.

[speaking Bandrikan]

[speaking Italian]

[speaking Italian]

- What do they say?

- Well, they both say
they've never seen her.

- But that's not true.
She was sitting where you are.

- Can you
describe her?

- Well, it's a bit
difficult, you see.

She was sort of middle-aged
and ordinary.

- Well, what
was she wearing?

Tweeds,
oatmeal flecked with brown,

a three-quarter coat
with patch pockets,

a scarf, felt hat,
brown shoes, a tussah shirt,

and a small blue handkerchief
in her breast pocket.

I can't remember
any more.

- You couldn't have been
paying attention.

Now, listen.

You both went along
to tea?

- Yes.

- Well, surely
you met somebody.

- Well, I suppose
we did, but--

Wait a moment.
Let me think.

Oh, yes, there was an Englishman
who passed the sugar.

- Right you are.

Now, let's go along
and dig him out.

- Pardon.
May I come with you?

This is most
interesting to me.

- Well, we don't like people
muscling in,

but we'll make you
a member.

- Wait a moment.
There was somebody else.

As we passed this compartment,
Miss Froy stumbled in.

There was a tall gentleman
and a lady.

- All right, now we're
getting somewhere.

If we can really find
someone who saw her,

we'll have the place
searched.

- Can I be
of any assistance?

- That's the gentleman.

- Well, do you happen to remember
seeing this young lady

pass the compartment
with a little Englishwoman?

- I'm afraid not.

- But you must have!

She almost fell
into your compartment.

Surely you haven't
forgotten.

It's very important.

Everybody's saying
she wasn't on the train,

but I know she is,
and I'm going to find her

even if I have to stop
the train to do it.

[knocks]

- I say, Caldicott,
this is Charters.

Can I come in?

You know that girl
we saw at the hotel?

She's back there
kicking up a devil of a fuss.

Says she's lost
her friend.

- Well, she hasn't been
in here, old man.

- But the point is, she threatens
to stop the train.

- Oh, Lord.

- If we miss
our connection at Basle,

we'll never make
Manchester in time.

- This is serious.

- Let's hide in here.

- I'm sorry, I haven't
the faintest recollection.

You must be making
a mistake.

- Well, he obviously
doesn't remember.

Let's go and look
for the other fellow.

- Who were you
talking to outside?

- Hmm?

Oh, nobody, just some people
in the corridor arguing.

- There he is.
That's the man.

- Oh, oh, I say.
I'm so sorry.

I wonder
if I can bother you.

I wonder
if you can help us.

How?

- Well, I was having tea
about an hour ago

with an English lady.

You saw her,
didn't you?

- Well, I don't know,
I mean, definitely.

I was talking to my friend,
wasn't I?

- Indubitably.

- Yes, but you were sitting
at the next table.

She turned
and borrowed the sugar.

You must remember.

- Oh, yes, I recall
passing the sugar.

- Well, then you saw her.

I repeat, we were deep
in conversation.

We were discussing
cricket.

- Well, I don't see
how a thing like cricket

can make you forget
seeing people.

- Oh, don't you?

Well, if that's
your attitude,

obviously there's
nothing more to be said.

Come, Caldicott.

"Thing like cricket."

- Hmm, wrong tactics.

We should have told him

we were looking
for a lost cricket ball.

- Yes, but he spoke to her.

There must be
some explanation.

- There is.

Please forgive me.

I'm quite possibly wrong,
but I have known cases

where a sudden
shock or blow

has induced
the most vivid impressions.

- I understand.

You don't believe me.

- Oh, it's not a question
of belief.

Even a simple concussion

may have curious effects
upon an imaginative person.

- Yes, but I can remember
every little detail:

her name, Miss Froy--
everything.

- So interesting.

You know,
if one had time,

one could trace the cause
of the hallucination.

- Hallucination?

- Oh, precisely.

There is no Miss Froy.

There never was a Miss Froy,
merely a vivid subjective image.

- But I met her last night
at the hotel.

- You thought you did.

- Yes, but what about
the name?

- Oh, some past
association:

an advertisement
or a character in a novel

subconsciously
remembered.

No, there is no reason
to be frightened

if you are quiet
and relaxed.

- Thank you very much.

- Well, if you
will excuse me,

this is where my patient
comes aboard.

Excuse me.

Most interesting.

- We're stopping.

- This is the first stop,
isn't it?

- Mm-hmm.

- Well, then Miss Froy
must still be on the train.

Look, you look out
of this window

and see if she
gets off this side.

I'll take the other.

- Most interesting.

- Oh.

- What was she dressed in?

Scotch tweeds, wasn't it?

- Oatmeal tweeds.

- Oh, I knew it had something
to do with porridge.

[speaking Bandrikan]

- How long does it take
to get a divorce?

Eric.

- Hmm? Oh, I beg your pardon.
I wasn't listening.

- I said how long does it take
to get a divorce?

- Oh, that depends.
Why?

- I was only wondering

whether we could take
our honeymoon next spring.

I mean the official one.

- The difficulties
are considerable.

For one thing, the courts
are very crowded just now.

Although I suppose
we barristers

ought not to complain
about that.

[clears throat]

As a matter of fact,
with conditions as they are now,

my chances of becoming
a judge are very rosy.

You know, that is
if nothing untoward occurs.

- Such as you being mixed up
in a divorce case yourself.

- Well, yes.

- In that first
careless rapture of yours,

you said you didn't care
what happened.

- My dear, you must think of it
from my point of view.

The law, like Caesar's wife,
must be above suspicion.

- Even when the law spends
six weeks with Caesar's wife?

- Look here.

- Now I know why
you've been running around

like a scared rabbit,

why you lied so deliberately
a few minutes ago.

- I lied?

- Yes, to those people
in the corridor.

I heard every word
you said.

- It was merely that I didn't wish
to be mixed up in any inquiry.

- Inquiry?

Just because a little woman
can't be found?

- That girl
was making a fuss.

If the woman
had disappeared

and I'd admitted
having seen her,

we might become
vital witnesses.

Why, my name might even appear
in the papers,

coupled with yours.

Why, a scandal like that
might lead anywhere,

anywhere.

- Yes, I suppose
it might.

[train whistle shrills]

- Nobody?

- Nobody.

- Well, the only thing
that came out my side

was two bits of orange peel
and a paper bag.

- I know there's a Miss Froy.
She's as real as you are.

- Yes, that's what you say,
and you believe it,

but there doesn't appear to be
anybody else who's seen her.

- I saw her,

I think.

- You did?

- A little woman
in tweeds.

- Yes.

- Wearing
a three-quarter coat.

- With a scarf?
- That's right.

I saw her with you when you
passed the compartment.

- I knew I was right.

But your husband said
he hadn't see her.

- Oh, he didn't notice,

but as soon as he mentioned it,
I remembered at once.

- You win.

You know,
this calls for action.

Do you prefer
to make a statement?

- Of course,
if it helps.

- Pardon, my patient
has just arrived,

the most fascinating
complication.

- We have some news
for you.

- This lady
actually saw Miss Froy.

- So.

- We're going to have
the train searched.

- You'll have to think
of a fresh theory now, Doctor.

- It is not necessary.

My theory was
a perfectly good one.

The facts
were misleading.

I hope you will find
your friend.

Excuse me.

- I'll be in here
if you want me.

- Right you are.
Come along.

- Eric.

I was only
going to mention

that I told that girl
I'd seen her friend.

- What's that?

Have you taken leave
of your senses?

- On the contrary,
I've come to them.

- What do you mean?

- If there's a scandal,
there'd be a divorce.

You couldn't let me down,
could you?

You'd have to do
the decent thing

as reluctantly
as only you know how.

- You forget one very important
thing, Margaret:

your husband would divorce you,
I've no doubt.

But whatever happens,
my wife will never divorce me.

- Yes, well, it might seem crazy
to you, but I tell you,

you're going to search
the train.

- Ah, Signorina...

[speaking Bandrikan]

Your friend,
she come back.

- Come back?
- Si, si.

- But what happened?

- Oh, you go see.
She tell you.

- Scusi.
- Thanks.

All right, Athleston, relax.
The crisis is over.

Come on,
let's join the lady.

Here we are.

- Miss Froy.

That isn't Miss Froy.

- Isn't it?

- No.

- I say, this is
a silly thing to say,

but are you
Miss Froy?

- No, I am
Madame Kummer.

[speaking Bandrikan]

- She says she helped you
into the carriage

after you got the biff
on the head

and then went to see
some friends.

- [speaking Bandrikan]

- The baroness says that as you
spoke about the English lady,

she didn't connect her
with Madame Kummer.

- But she wasn't the lady I saw.
It was Miss Froy.

- Oatmeal tweeds, blouse,
blue silk handkerchief--

- Yes, I know,
everything's the same,

but it isn't her.

- I beg your pardon.

When did you say
you first met this Miss Froy?

- Last night
at the hotel.

- Oh, and was she wearing
a costume like this?

- Yes, I think so.

- Then I must apologize.

You did meet her
after all.

- Then--

- But not on this train.

In your subconscious mind,

you substituted for the face
of Madame Kummer

that of Miss Froy.

- But I didn't.
I couldn't have, I tell you.

I talked to her here.

- That's very easily settled.

There's an Englishwoman
on the train

who said she saw her.

If this lady wouldn't mind,
Madame--

[speaking Bandrikan]

- [speaking Bandrikan]

- [speaking French]

What a gift for languages
the fellow's got.

[knocks]

I'm so sorry.

Would you tell us, please,
is this the woman you saw?

- It isn't a bit
like her, is it?

- Yes, she's the woman.

- But it isn't, I tell you.
It isn't.

- Are you sure?

- Perfectly.

- She isn't.
She isn't.

[both speaking Bandrikan]

- Well, come on, then.

I'm so sorry
to have troubled you.

- Well, aren't you
going to say anything?

You might at least gloat
if nothing else.

- What am I expected to say?

You only did it
to save your own skin.

- She was lying.
I saw it in her face.

They're all lying.
But why, why?

- Now, now, why don't you sit down
and take it easy?

- Do you believe this nonsense
about substituting

Miss Froy's face
for Madame Kummer's?

- Well, I think any change
would be an improvement.

- Listen, Miss Froy was
on this train, I know she was,

and nothing will
convince me otherwise.

Must you follow me around
like a pet dog?

- Oh, well, let's say
a watchdog.

I've got all
the better instincts.

- Good-bye.

The doctor was right.
You're all right.

I never saw Miss Froy
on the train.

It didn't happen,
I know now.

- Ah, I'm glad you're going
to take it like that.

What you want to do
is to forget all about it.

Just make your mind
a complete blank.

You know? Watch me.
You can't go wrong.

What about a spot
of something to eat?

- Anything.

- That's right.
Come along.

- Ah, this way,
please.

- Oh, thank you.
- Merci.

Would you like
a little air?

- Thanks.

- Do you think
you can eat anything?

- I could try.

- That's the spirit.

You'll feel a different girl
tomorrow.

- I hope so.

I don't want to meet my fiance
a nervous wreck.

- Your what?

- I'm being married
on Thursday.

- Quite sure
you're not imagining that?

- Positive.

- Oh, I was afraid so.

Aha, food.

- I couldn't face it.

- Well, you well best.

Do you mind if I talk
with my mouth full?

- If you must.

- Well, now, would you like
to hear about my early life?

- I don't think so.

- Well, since you press me,
I'll begin with my father.

You know, it's remarkable

how many great men
began with their father.

Oh, something to drink?

- No--

Oh, yes, I will.
A cup of tea, please.

- [speaking Bandrikan]

You know, my father
was a very colorful character.

Amongst other things,
he was strongly addicted to...

you'll never guess.

- Harriman's Herbal Tea.

- No, wrong,
double scotch.

- A million Mexicans
drink it.

- Maybe they do,
but Father didn't.

- Miss Froy gave the waiter
a packet of it.

- A packet of what?

- Harriman's Herbal Tea.

She said it was
the only sort she liked.

- Now, look here,
I thought we'd agreed

that you were going to make
your mind a complete blank.

- But it's so real.
I'm sure it happened.

- Did we or did we not?

- We did.

Sorry.

Go on telling me
about your father.

- Well, my father
was a very remarkable man.

- Did he play
the clarinet?

- Incessantly.

In fact,
he never put it down

unless it became
absolutely necessary.

Well, naturally,

I couldn't help inheriting
his love of music.

- Why not?

- Well, that was all
he left me.

You know,
you're remarkably attractive.

Has anyone ever told you?

- We were discussing you.

- Ah, yes, of course.

Do you like me?

- Not much.

- Well, after I'd paid
my father's debts,

I started to travel

until they tried
to cash the checks.

For the moment, you know,

I'm writing a book
on folk dancing.

Would you like
to buy a copy?

- I'd love to.

When does it see
the light of day?

- About four years.

- That's a very long time.

- It's a very long book.

Do you know
why you fascinate me?

I'll tell you.

You've got two great qualities
I used to admire in Father.

You haven't
any manners at all,

and you're always
seeing things.

What's the matter?

- Look!

[train whistle shrills]

It's gone!

- What's gone?

- Miss Froy's name
on the window.

You saw it.
You must have seen it.

She's on the train.

- Now, steady,
steady.

Excuse me.
Thank you very much.

- No, no,
we've got to find her.

Something's happening
to her.

Stop the train.

Listen, everybody.

There's a woman on this train,
Miss Froy.

Some of you
must have seen her.

They're hiding her somewhere.

I appeal to you, all of you,
to stop the train.

Please help me.

Please make them
stop the train.

Do you hear?

Why don't you do something
before it's too late?

- Please, please.

- I know you think I'm crazy,
but I'm not. I'm not!

For heaven's sake,
stop this train.

- Now, come.

- Leave me alone.
Leave me alone!

[train whistle shrills]

[brakes screeching]

- Huh, ten minutes late
thanks to that fool of a girl.

If she gets up
to any more of her tricks,

we shall be too late
for the last day of the match.

- I suppose you couldn't
put it to her in some way.

- What?

- Well, people just don't vanish
and so forth.

- But she has.

- What?

- Vanished.

- Who?

- The old dame.

- Yes.

- Well?

- Well, how could she?

- What?

- Vanish.

- I don't know.

- That just explains
my point.

People don't just disappear
into thin air.

- It's done in India.

- What?

- The rope trick.

- Oh, that.

It never comes out
in a photograph.

- Look, now,
in half an hour,

we'll stop at Morsken,
just before the border.

I will leave there
with my patient

for the National Hospital.

If you will come with me,

you could stay overnight
in a private ward.

You need peace and rest.

- Sorry,
nothing doing.

- Isn't there anything
we can do?

- Yes, find Miss Froy.

- I tell you,
my friend,

if she does not rest,
I will not answer for her.

It will be best
if you persuade her.

She likes you.

- I'm just about as popular
as a dose of strychnine.

- Well, if you coat it with sugar,
she may swallow it.

- Cosmopolitan train, this.

People of all nations.

I've just seen
at least a million Mexicans

in the corridor.

Well, I thought
I'd look in

to tell you to think over
what Dr. Hartz said.

If you feel like
changing your mind,

I'll be hanging around.

- What's all the mystery?

- You're right.
Miss Froy is on this train.

I've just seen the packet of tea
that you were talking about.

They chucked it out
with the rubbish.

- Trifle late, aren't you?
She may be dead by now.

- Dead or a--

Of course, for sheer variety,
give me an English summer.

I remember once spending
a bank holiday at Brighton.

We're going to search
this train.

There's something
definitely queer in the air.

Ooh, looks like supply service
for trunk murderers.

- Look at that.

- It's all right, Miss Froy.
It's only us.

- Hurry up.
Quickly.

[both laughing]

- Well, perhaps
it's Miss Froy bewitched.

You never know.

Well, anyway,
I refuse to be discouraged.

Faint hearts
never find old ladies.

Wait.

By the way, do you know
anything about her?

- No, only that she was
a governess going back home.

What is this thing?

- Can't imagine.

Anyway, there might be
something down here.

both: Oh!

- What on Earth?

- Our Italian friend.

I've got it.
Wait a minute.

- There you are,
the Great Doppo.

[muttering quietly]

His visiting card.
Look.

- What's it say?

- "The Great Doppo,

"magician, illusionist,
mind reader,

"will visit all principal
towns and cities.

"See his fascinating act,
The Vanishing L--

Lady."

- The Vanishing Lady.

- Perhaps that's
the explanation.

- What?

- Maybe he's practicing
on Miss Froy.

- Well, perhaps
it's a publicity stunt.

- No, I don't think so.

That wouldn't account for
the Baroness or Madame Kummer.

- Well, what's your theory?

- Oh, I don't know.
My theory?

I'll tell you.

- Oh, dear.

I can't get this one.

That one.

Where are you?

- I'm in here with a strong smell
of camphor balls.

- I can't see you.

- I'm about somewhere.

Here I am.

Where are you?

- I don't know.

- This is what comes
of not saying "abracadabra."

- Ooh!

- Are you hurt?

- Ouch!

- Come on, out of it,
Oscar.

- Not much.

- Come and sit down
over here.

- What is that thing?

- Well, in magic circles,

we call it
a disappearing cabinet.

You get inside and vanish.

- Mm, so I noticed.

You were about to tell me
of your theory.

- Oh, my theory.

Well, my theory,
my dear Watson,

is that we are
in very deep waters indeed.

- Ahem.

- Oh, thank you very much.

Let us marshal our facts

over a pipeful
of Baker Street shag.

In the first place,
a little old lady disappears.

Everyone that saw her
promptly insists

that she was
never there at all.

Right?
- Right.

We know that she was.

Therefore,
they did see her.

Therefore, they are
deliberately lying.

Why?

- I don't know.
I'm only Watson.

- Well, don't bury yourself
in the part.

I'll tell you why.

Because they daren't face
an inquiry,

because Miss Froy is probably
still somewhere on this train.

- I told you that
hours ago.

- Ah, yes,
so you did.

For that,
my dear Watson,

you shall have
a trichinopoly cigar.

- Mm, thank you.

- Now, there's only one thing
left to do, you know:

search the train
in disguise.

- As what?

- Well...
[clears throat]

Old English gentleman.

- They'd see through you.

- Perhaps you're right.

- Aha.

Will Hay, for instance.

"Now, boys, boys, which of you
has stolen Miss Froy?

Own up. Own up."

- Those glasses.
- What?

- Give them to me.
- Why?

- They're Miss Froy's.
- Are you sure?

- Yes, they're exactly the same,
gold-rimmed--

Where did you find them?

- Well, down here on the floor.
The glass is broken.

- Well, probably
in the struggle.

- Pick up the glass.

Do you realize
that this is our first piece

of really tangible proof?

That's the lot.

- Will you please give me
those spectacles?

They belong to me.

My spectacles, please.

- Yours?
Are you sure?

- [speaking Italian]

- Ah, naughty, naughty.

You know,
that's a very large nose

for a very small pair
of spectacles.

That's the game, is it?
We'll see about that.

Those are Miss Froy's glasses,
and you know it.

She's been in here,
and you know that too.

Don't stand hopping about there
like a referee; cooperate.

Kick him. See if he's got
a false bottom.

Ow!
That doesn't help.

Quick, pull his ears back.

Give them a twist.

That's it.

Now I've got him.

Look out!
He's got a knife!

Quick, get ahold of it
before he cuts a slice off me.

- Ah!

I can't reach it.

- Well done.

We know
how that thing works.

Come out of there.

Well, is he out,
do you think?

Anyway, we've got
to hide him somewhere.

What's in here?

- Hurry up, quick,
before he comes to.

- It's empty.
Bring him along.

Come on.

- [gasps]

- Oh, no, you don't.

Oh.

- What's the matter?

Garlic.
I'll be all right in a minute.

Here, hold on to this.
- Oh, yes.

- Let's tie him up.

Ah, well, we're getting
somewhere at last.

We definitely know that
Miss Froy was on this train,

and we know
that our friend in here

had something
to do with it.

That ought to keep him quiet
until we find her.

Ah, hard work
but worth it.

Let's have the evidence.

- Evidence?

- Yes, the glasses.

- You've got them.

- No, I haven't got them.

Oh.

He's got them.

- He isn't there.

- Where--

Snookered.
It's a false bottom.

That little twister.
He's a contortionist.

- He's gone,
all right.

- Yes, to find the others
and make more trouble.

We're in a nasty jam,
my dear.

We can't fight the whole train.
We need allies.

- Yes, but who can we trust?

- Well, that's the snag.

- There's that
Dr. Hartz person.

- Yes, you're right.
He might help.

Come along.
Let's tell him the symptoms.

- All right.
Oh, wait a minute.

- This is the one.

He's not there.

Listen, I've just had
a particularly idiotic idea.

- I quite believe that.

Well, suppose that patient
in there is Miss Froy.

- Yes, but it didn't
come on the train

till after Miss Froy
disappeared.

- Yes, yes, that's why
it's an idiotic idea.

Come on,
let's find the doctor.

- No, no, no,
wait a minute.

- What is it?

- Did you notice anything wrong
about that nun?

- No.

- I don't think
she's a nun at all.

They don't wear
high heels.

- Yes, you're right.

Listen, did you see
Madame Kummer get on the train?

- No.

- Well, supposing
they decoyed Miss Froy

into the luggage van
and hid her there.

The first stop,
the patient comes aboard,

head injury,
all wrapped up.

The patient
is Madame Kummer.

Madame Kummer
becomes Miss Froy.

Miss Froy becomes that.

- Yes, but why should they go
to all this trouble

to kidnap a harmless
little governess?

- Maybe it isn't
a governess at all.

Perhaps it's some
political thing, you know?

Come on.
Let's investigate.

Parlez-vous francais?

Sprechen Sie Deutsch?

[speaking Bandrikan]

Oh, well, you'll just have
to put up with it in English.

Can we take a look
at your patient, please?

Thank you.

Keep an eye
on the nun.

- What are you doing here?

Why are you in here?

This is the most serious
accident case.

You have no business to be here at all,
neither of you.

- Dr. Hartz, we want you
to undo those bandages

and let us take a look
at your patient's face.

- Are you out
of your senses?

There is no face there,

nothing but lumps
of raw flesh.

Already the case
has lost so much blood.

Nothing but a transfusion
can save him.

What do you want me to do,
murder my patient?

You're quite sure that this
is your patient?

- We believe
it's Miss Froy.

- Miss Froy?

You can't be serious.

Whatever put such ideas
into your heads?

I understand
she is deaf and dumb.

- But she may lip-read.

- Oh, that's possible.

- Well, in that case,

perhaps you will join me
in the dining car.

I'll be with you
in a moment.

I want to be certain my patient
hasn't been disturbed.

[speaking Bandrikan]

- How the devil do I know
how they cottoned on?

Somebody must have
tipped them off.

You never said
the old girl was English.

- What difference
does that make?

In a few moments,

I shall order three drinks
in the dining car.

Mine will be Chartreuse.

Now, one of the stewards
is working for us.

Now, listen carefully.

- There's that girl again.

- Seems to have recovered.

Lucky it blew over.

- And now perhaps you'll tell me
what's all about.

- Now, listen, Doctor,

have you ever
actually seen your patient?

- No, I merely received a message
to pick the case up

and operate at Morsken.

- How do you know
that it's not Miss Froy?

- We believe there's been
a substitution, Doctor.

- Really, you mean to say that
you think that someone has--

- Dum, dum, dum.

- Oh, I want
a green Chartreuse.

Won't you join me?

- Oh, thanks,
I'd like a large brandy.

- And you?

- Oh, I don't want any,
thank you.

- Oh, come on,
it'll do you good.

- No, really,
I don't.

- You're very tired.
It'll pick you up.

- All right, then,
just a small one.

- Two brandies
and a Chartreuse.

- Tell me, do you know
anything about the nun

who is looking after
your patient?

- Nun?

No, only that she
is from a convent

close to where
the accident occurred.

- Don't you think
it's rather peculiar

that she's wearing
high-heeled shoes?

- Oh, is she?

Well, that is rather curious,
isn't it?

- It's a conspiracy.
That's all it can be.

All these people on the train
say they haven't seen Miss Froy,

but they have.

We know that because just now
in the luggage van...

- She's off again.

- Hope she doesn't create
another scene.

Put the lid on our getting back
in time if she did.

- And then this fellow
from the carriage--

Doppo's his name--

he came along
and grabbed the glasses.

- Yeah, we went for him
and had a bit of a fight.

- Oh, a fight?
- Mm-hmm.

- We knocked him out.

- Oh!

- Shh!

- He seems to have made
a speedy recovery.

- Yes, all that's just bluff.

- Here.

- Grazie.

- Oh, but how could he
be involved in a conspiracy?

Look at him,
the poor fellow.

He's just
a harmless traveler.

- He's also a music hall artist
making a tour of Bandrika.

- Well?

- The baroness' husband
is minister of propaganda.

One word from her,
and his tour will be canceled.

- Oh, I see.

- Yes, well, the stewards,
if they don't do what they're told,

they've got a nice cozy
brick wall to lean up against.

- But tell me about
the two English travelers.

They also denied
seeing her?

- Yes, just British diplomacy,
Doctor.

Never climb a fence
if you can sit on it.

It's an old
Foreign Office proverb.

- What I cannot understand is,

why should anyone want
to dispose of the old lady?

- Yes, well,
that's just what stumps us,

but all we know is that
she was here on this train,

and now she's...

gone.

- Well, if you're right,

it means the whole train
is against us.

- Well, what are we
going to do?

- Well, in view
of what you just told me,

I shall risk
examining the patient.

- Come on, now.

- One moment.

We mustn't act
suspiciously.

Behave as if nothing
had happened.

Drink; that'll steady
your nerves.

- Oh, sorry.

- To our health.

And may our enemies,
if they exist,

be unconscious
of our purpose.

Let's go.
We must hurry now.

- Come on, drink up.

- Wait in here.

- Right you are.

- Anything wrong?

- Nothing,

except they noticed
you were wearing high heels.

However, it makes
no difference.

We shall reach Morsken
in three minutes.

Quite an eventful journey.

- Well?

- Yes, the patient
is Miss Froy.

She will be taken off the train
at Morsken,

about three minutes.

She will be removed
to the hospital there

and operated on.

Unfortunately, the operation
will not be successful.

Oh, I should perhaps
have explained.

The operation
will be performed by me.

You see, I am
in this conspiracy,

as you term it.

You are a very alert
young couple,

but it's quite useless
for you to think,

as you are undoubtedly doing,
of a way out of your dilemma.

The drinks you had just now,
I regret to say,

contained a quantity
of hydrocin.

For your benefit,

hydrocin is
a very little-known drug

which has the effect
in a small quantity

of paralyzing the brain

and rendering
the victim unconscious

for a considerable period.

In a slightly larger quantity,
of course, it induces madness.

However,
you have my word

the dose
was a normal one.

In a very few moments now,
you will join your young friend.

Need I say how sorry I am

having to take such a--
how shall I say--

melodramatic course?

But your persistent meddling
made it necessary.

- Are you all right?

You must have fainted.

- Did I?

- Listen, there's a woman
next door going to be murdered,

and we've got to get moving
before this stuff takes effect.

- I did read once

that if you keep on the go,
you can stay awake.

- Right, come on,
let's get going.

- It's locked.

We can't go that way.
We'd be spotted.

- You can't do that!

- Don't worry,
it's only next door.

You carry on keeping fit.

Touch your toes;
stand on your head.

Do anything, only whatever
you do, don't fall asleep.

[train whistle shrills]

- Go on.
You needn't be afraid.

It is Miss Froy.

It's all right.
You haven't been drugged.

He told me to put something
in your drink,

but I didn't do it.

- Who the devil are you?
He said you were deaf and dumb.

- Oh, never mind about that now.

If you want to save her,
you've got to hurry.

Hartz will be back
in a minute.

What's going
to happen then?

- If we can hold them off
till we get past Morsken,

the frontier's a few miles
beyond the station.

[Madame Kummer gasps]

- Look, come on,
there's still time.

[both speaking Italian]

- [speaking Bandrikan]

- That's Morsken.

Have you finished?

Come on, Miss Froy.

slap!
- Ouch!

- Cut it out, kid,
you're not drugged.

I'll explain later.

Abracadabra.

- Miss Froy!

Oh, I can't believe it.

- Thank you,
my dear.

Thank you very much.

- Careful.

- Ready?

- Yes.

- [speaking Bandrikan]

[speaking Bandrikan]

- Are you all right,
Miss Froy?

- Yes, thank you.

It's rather like the rush hour
on the Underground.

- Careful.
We're slowing down.

[brakes screeching]

Drat.

- [speaking Bandrikan]

I'm sorry you've had

such an uncomfortable journey,
Miss Froy.

[speaking Bandrikan]

Get back on the train.

- I hope nothing
goes wrong.

Aren't we stopping
rather a long time?

- The ambulance is going.
We'll be off in a jiffy.

[train whistle shrills]

In another couple of minutes,
we'll be over the border.

- [speaking Bandrikan]

- I know
I've been well paid,

and I've done plenty
of dirty work for it,

but this was murder,
and she was an Englishwoman.

- You are Bandrikan.

- My husband was,
but I'm English.

And you were going
to butcher her in cold blood.

- Your little diversion
made it necessary

not only to remove
the lady in question

but two others as well.

- You can't do that.

- Also, it would be
unwise of us

to permit the existence
of anyone who cannot be trusted.

- You wouldn't dare.
I know too much.

- Precisely.

- Well, I think
we're over the border now.

You can come out,
Miss Froy.

- Oh, bless me.

What an unpleasant journey.

- Never mind.

You shall have a corner seat
for the rest of the way.

There you are.

Look here,
now that it's over,

I think you ought to tell us
what it's all about.

[woman screams]

What was that scream?

- Surely it was only
the train whistle.

- It wasn't.
It was a woman.

- Be careful.

They've rumbled.

We're on a branch line,

and they've slipped
the rear part of the train.

- Oh, dear.
Oh, dear.

- Look here,
who are you,

and why are these people
going to these lengths

to get hold of you?

- I haven't
the faintest idea.

I'm a children's governess,
you know.

I can only think they've made
some terrible mistake.

- Why are you holding out on us?
Tell us the truth.

You got us involved
in this fantastic plot.

You might at least
trust us.

- I really don't know.
I--

- I wonder if there's anybody else
left on the train.

- Well, there's only
the dining car in front,

but there won't be
anybody there now.

- What do you make it?

- Teatime.
All the English will be there.

I'm going to take a look.

Come on,
we'd better stick together.

- There's the old girl
turned up.

- Told you it was a lot of fuss
about nothing.

Bolt must have jammed.

- I've got something to say.
Will you all please listen?

An attempt has been made

to abduct this lady
by force.

I've got reason to believe
that the people who did it

are going to try again.

- What the devil is the fellow
driveling about?

- Well, if you don't believe me,
you can look out of the window.

This train's been diverted
onto a branch line.

- What are you
talking about?

Abductions,
diverted trains...

- We're telling you
the truth.

- I'm not in the least
interested.

You've annoyed us enough
with your ridiculous story.

- My dear chap,
you must've got hold

of the wrong end of the stick
somewhere.

- Yes, things like that
just don't happen.

- We're not
in England now.

- I don't see what difference
that makes.

- We're stopping.

- Look, do you see
those cars?

They're here to take
Miss Froy away.

- Nonsense.

Look, there go
a couple of people.

The cars have obviously come
to pick them up.

- Well, in that case,
why go to the trouble

of uncoupling the train
and diverting it?

- Uncoupling?

- There's nothing left of the
train beyond the sleeping car.

- There must be.

Our bags are in
the first class carriage.

- Not any longer.
Would you like to come and look?

- If this is
a practical joke,

I warn you
I shan't think it very funny.

Good Lord!

- Let's have some
of that brandy.

- You don't suppose
there's something

in this fellow's story,
Caldicott, do you?

- Seems a bit queer.

- I mean, after all, people
don't go about tying up nuns.

- [coughs]

Thank you.

- Someone's coming.

- Well, they can't possibly
do anything to us.

We're British subjects.

- I have come to offer
the most sincere apologies.

An extremely serious incident
has occurred.

An attempt
has been made

to interfere with passengers
on this train.

Fortunately,
it was brought to the notice

of the authorities,

and so if you
will be good enough

to accompany me to Morsken,

I will inform
the British embassy at once.

Ladies and gentlemen,
the cars are at your disposal.

- We're very grateful.

It's lucky some of you fellows
understand English.

- Well, I was at Oxford.

- Really? So was I.
What year?

- Hold on.

This woman seems to be trying
to say something.

I don't understand the language,
and it may be important.

- Would you...

- Certainly.

- That's fixed him.

It's all right.
He's only stunned.

- What the blazes
did you do that for?

- I was at Cambridge.

- What's that
got to do with it?

You heard what he said,
didn't you?

- I heard what she said.

That was a trick
to get us off the train.

- I don't believe it.

The man's explanation
was quite satisfactory.

- A thing like this
might cause a war.

- [speaking Bandrikan]

- I'm going outside,
tell them what's occurred.

It's up to us to apologize
and put the matter right.

- [speaking Bandrikan]

[gunshot]

- You were right.

Do you mind,
old man?

- Certainly.

- Looks as if
they mean business.

- I'm afraid so.

- Well, they can't
do anything.

It would mean
an international situation.

- It's happened before.

- They're coming.

- Don't let them in.

They'll murder us.

They daren't
let us go now.

- I order you
to surrender at once.

- Nothing doing.

If you come any nearer,
I'll fire.

I've warned you.

[gunshot]

Better take cover.

They'll start
any minute now.

- Nasty jam, this.

Don't like
the look of it.

- Got plenty
of ammunition?

- A whole pouch full.

- Good.

- Duck down, you.

- I'm not going to fight.
It's madness.

- It'll be safer
to protest down here.

- Oh, no, they're trying
to work round to the other side.

- You're behaving
like a pack of fools.

What chance have we got
against a lot of armed men?

- You heard what
the Mother Superior said.

If we surrender now,
we're in for it.

[gunshots]

[gunfire]

- We'll never
get to the match now.

- Give it to me.

Give it to me.

[gunfire]

- What's going on here?

- He's got a gun,
and he won't use it.

- What's the idea?

- Well, I told you.

I won't be a party
to this sort of thing.

I don't believe
in fighting.

- Pacifist, eh?

Won't work, old boy.

Early Christians tried it
and got thrown to the lions.

Come on, hand it over.

[gunfire]

- I'm not afraid
to use it.

- Probably
more used to it.

I once won
a box of cigars.

- He's talking rot.
He's a damn good shot.

[gunfire]

- Hope the old hand
hasn't lost its cunning.

You know, I'm half inclined
to believe

that there's some rational
explanation to all this.

[gunshot]

Rotten.
Only knocked his hat off.

- Do you mind
if I talk to you for a minute?

- What now?

- Yes, I--please forgive me,
but it's very important.

[gunfire]

- Hang on to this for me,
will you?

- All right,
I'll hold the fort.

- I think it's safer
along here.

You come too.

- Keep your head low.

[gunfire]

- I just wanted
to tell you

that I must
be getting along now.

- But you can't.
You'll never get away.

You'll be shot down.

- I must take
that risk.

Listen carefully.

In case I'm unlucky
and you get through,

I want you to take back
a message to a Mr. Callendar

at the Foreign Office
in Whitehall.

- Then you are a spy.

- I always think
that's such a grim word.

- Well, what is
the message?

- It's a tune.

- Tune?

- It contains,
in code, of course,

the vital clause
of a secret pact

between two
European countries.

I want you
to memorize it.

- Well, go ahead.

The first part of it
goes like this.

Da-da-da, da,
da-da-dee

[gunshot]

Oh, perhaps I'd better
write it down.

Have you got
a piece of paper?

- No, don't bother.
I was brought up on music.

I can memorize anything.

- Very well.
Da-da-dum, da

Da-da-dee-dee

- Hello, the old girl's
gone off her rocker.

- I don't wonder.

Why don't you face it?

Those swine out there
will go on firing

till they've killed
the lot of us.

- For goodness' sake,
shut up, Eric.

- Da-da-dum, da,
da-da-dee

- That's right.

Now we've got two chances
instead of one.

- You bet.

- You're sure
you'll remember it?

- Oh, don't worry.
I won't stop whistling it.

- I suppose this
is my best way out.

- Yes, just about.

- But you may be hit,
and even if you do get away,

they'll stop you
at the frontier.

We can't let her go
like this.

- You know, this is a hell
of a risk you're taking.

- In this sort of job,
one must take risks.

[gunshots]

I'm very grateful to you both
for all you've done.

I do hope and pray
no harm will come to you

and that we shall all
meet again one day.

- I hope so too.

Good luck.

- Good luck.

- Will you help me out?

- Yes, rather.

Now, you take
the weight on top.

Right you are.
I've got you.

- Good-bye.

[gunfire]

[gunfire]

- [speaking Bandrikan]

- Was she hit?

- I'm not sure.

- Well, that's the end
of my 12.

- There's not much left
here either.

- Listen, we've only got
one chance now.

Got to get
this train going.

Drive it back
to the main line

and then try and cross
the frontier.

- That's a bit
of a tall order, isn't it?

Those driver fellows
are not likely

to do as you tell them,
you know.

- Then we'll bluff them with this.
Who's coming with me?

- Well, you can count
on me.

- Me too.

- Oh, we can't all go.

You stay here
and carry on.

And if we have any luck,

we'll stop the train
when we reach the points,

and you'll jump out
and switch them over.

- Okay.

- You idiots,
you're just inviting death.

I've had enough.

Just because I have the sense
to try and avoid being murdered,

I'm accused
of being a pacifist.

All right, I'd rather be called
a rat than die like one.

Think for a moment,
will you?

If we give ourselves up,

they daren't murder us
in cold blood.

They're bound
to give us a trial.

- Stop gibbering, Eric.

Nobody's listening to you.

- Very well.

You go your way.
I'll go mine.

- Hey, where
are you off to?

- I know what I'm about.

I'm doing
the only sensible thing.

- Oh, let the fellow go
if he wants to.

[gunshot]

[muttering]

[gunfire]

- Oh, please.

Why aren't we going?

Why aren't we going?

They said we were going.
Why aren't we?

- If only he can
get us away now.

He must.

- Only one left.
I'll keep that for a sitter.

- They're moving away
from the cars.

They're coming
towards us.

- Pity we haven't
a few more rounds.

- It's funny.

I told my husband
when I left him

that I wouldn't
see him again.

- Gilbert.

Gilbert!

- Egad, we're off.

- This gives us
a chance.

- Go on,
keep going.

[gunshot]

[gunshots]

[steam hissing]

- I say, do you know
how to control this thing?

- I watched the fellow
start it.

Anyway, I know something
about it.

Once drove a miniature engine
on the Dymchurch line.

- Oh, good.
I'll look out for the points.

- The blighters
are chasing us. Look.

- We can't have far
to go.

- It's time for my little job
changing the points.

Thank heavens we shall be
in neutral territory.

- That will not
be necessary.

I'm sorry, but the points,
as you call them,

will not be changed over.

Will you please
be seated?

- There they are,
just ahead of us.

Think you can stop it?

- Hope so.

- You'll keep quite still
until my friends arrive.

If anyone moves, I'm afraid
I shall have to shoot.

- There's just one thing
you don't know, Captain.

There's only one bullet
left in that gun,

and if you shoot me,
you'll give the others a chance.

You're in rather a difficult
position, aren't you?

- Sit down, please.

- All right.

- Where the devil's
Charters?

[gunshots]

Go ahead.
She's done it.

[gunshots]

Quick!

[gunshots]

- Oh!

It's all right.
It's just my leg.

[both speaking Bandrikan]

- Or as they say in English,
jolly good luck to them.

[whistling]

- Well, well, I'm glad
all that's over, aren't you?

Heaven knows what the government
will say about all this.

- Nothing at all.
They'll hush it up.

- What?

[train whistle shrills]

- Hey, take your hand
off that thing.

I've got to remember
a tune.

- Remember...

[whistling]

[humming]

- Porter, sir?

- No, thanks.

- Well, we're home,
Gilbert.

- Mm-hmm-hmm, hmm

- Can't you stop humming
that awful tune?

You must know it
backwards.

- I'm not taking
any risks.

[hums]

Charles will be here
to meet you?

- I expect so.

- [hums]

You'll be pretty busy
between now and Thursday.

- I could meet you for lunch
or dinner, if you'd like it.

- I'm sorry,
I didn't mean that.

No, as a matter of fact,

I've got to deliver
this theme song from Miss Froy.

When I've done that, I'm going
to dash off to Yorkshire

and finish my book.

- I see.

- Ready?

- Yes.

- Ample time to catch the 6:50
to Manchester after all.

- Da-da-dum, dum,
da-da-dum, da

Da-da-dum, da

Any sign of Charles yet?

- No, I can't see him.

- Well, this is where
we say good-bye.

Oh, what's the matter?

Charles?

- Yes, you heartless, callous,
selfish, swollen-headed beast.

- Are you going anywhere?

- Foreign Office.

[laughter]

- Where are we going
for our honeymoon?

- I don't know.

Somewhere quiet, somewhere
where there are no trains.

[laughter]

- Mr. Callendar
will see you now.

- Wait a minute.

It's gone.
- What's gone?

- The tune.
I've forgotten it.

- No. Oh, no!

- Well, wait a minute.
Let me concentrate.

[hums]

- No, no, no, no,
that's the "Wedding March."

- This is awful.

I've done nothing else
but sing it

since the day
before yesterday,

and now I've forgotten it
completely.

[piano playing the tune]

- Miss Froy!

- Well,
I'll be hanged.