HELLUVA BOSS - THE CIRCUS // S2: Episode 1

Young Stolas: Yawn

Young Stolas: MY BIRTHDAY! MY BIRTHDAY!

Young Stolas: IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!

Young Stolas: YAY!

Young Stolas: BIRTHDAY! BIRTHDAY!

Young Stolas: WOOHOO!

Young Stolas: BIRTHDAY TIME!

Servant: Calm yourself, young prince

Servant: You know excitement is unbecoming of a Goetia.

Young Stolas: Of course, right.

Young Stolas: But father told me today is the day

Young Stolas: I am old enough to know my purpose and responsibility.

Servant: Of course, I'm sure it will be wonderful.

Sound of Paimon's broken back standing up

Paimon: Ah, there is my little uh...

Paimon: Which son is this one? There's so fucking many.

Servant: Stolas, you highness.

Paimon: Stolas! Yes! Ha...

Paimon: Right, right, yeah... That's the one, the owl boy.

Paimon: Well my little one, it's finally your day becoming

Paimon: a true part of the Goetia family.

Paimon: How good for you.

Paimon: Are you ready to know what you'll be meant to do to serve Hell?

Young Stolas: Yes Father!

Paimon: You will be entrusted with the study of the Earth's skies...

Paimon: The stars, the prophecies they hold, and all that stuff. Isn't that fun?

Paimon: You will begin the studies of your grimoire

Paimon: which will grant you access to the mortal realm

Paimon: to study and observe and you will grow to be a mighty prince of hell

Paimon: with your own legions to lead and pass on your knowledge to.

Young Stolas: I will do my best, father!

Paimon: Wonderful! Also son, you are destined to sire

Paimon: a precautionary addition to the Goetia family

Paimon: so you are now engaged. Congratulations. Isn't she charming?

Young Stolas crying

Paimon: Oh, that's an ugly noise, son.

Paimon: Here, how about you cease this bitch crying?

Young Stolas continues to cry

Paimon: That usually works.

Paimon: Oh, would you like it if I took you to the circus in town?

Paimon: Children enjoy the circus, right?

Paimon: Would that distract you enough from

Paimon: your non-negotiable future marriage?

Paimon: Is there a spot that's close to the front,

Paimon: but also far enough that I don't have to...

Paimon sniff and gags

Paimon: smell the poor?

Clowns screaming in agony

Paimon: Oh oh ohohohoh ooooh...

Paimon: Ohohohohoh! Oh oh oh oh oh oh...

Cash: Now, everyone's favorite thing about circus shit

Cash: the motherfuckin' clowns!

Cash laughing

Kid's blood curling scream

Young Fizzarolli: You ready, Blitzo?

Young Blitzo: Born ready!

Young Blitzo: Ha! Tada~!

Young Blitzo: Hahaha!

Young Blitzo: Heya folks, wanna see me make a horse?

Young Blitzo: Crap!

Young Blitzo: De-de-de-de-do-do-do-do Ah, he he, uh haha... Horns!

Young Blitzo: Well, heh, it was a horse, but then it ate too much sugar

Young Blitzo: and it's legs stopped working so they had to amputate

Young Blitzo: Now it's a gross worm horse!

Young Stolas: Oh ha ha!

Young Blitzo̶: See, he gets it, because horses, they make no sense.

Young Fizzarolli: Okay Blitzo, that's enough horsing around...

Young Fizzarolli: Hey everybody, look at this.

Young Fizzarolli: It's Banana Pudding, the clown horsey. Neigheheh!

Crowd laughing

Young Stolas: I liked his broken horse joke, it was funny.

Young Stolas: Their legs do stop working when

Young Stolas: they eat too much sugar, it's called Laminitis.

Paimon: What a show, that was real great, so ahem

Paimon: That little clown you have my son really enjoyed that one,

Paimon: I was wondering if I could buy him.

Cash: Buy him?

Paimon: Purchase him, yes, accurate.

Paimon: My son doesn't have any friends you see,

Paimon: and he liked the little clown boy.

Paimon: It's his birthday, he's so sad and I don't want to deal with him.

Paimon: Can I write a check?

Cash: Well Fizzarolli is a big draw, he has a few more shows to be in today

Cash: So it would be pretty expensive.

Paimon: No no, the other one.

Cash: Blitzo?

Paimon: Correct, how much?

Cash: Wha- well, he's my son so ah, hm, ah, how much ya got in your pocket?

Servant dig up his pockets

Paimon: Uhhum.... A wadded up five and a slim fit condom.

Cash: Ah, that's plenty. Done.

Paimon: Splendid. Fetch him for me and we will be on our way.

Young Fizzarolli: I'm Banana Pudding and I like to dance!

Young Blitzo: I am Worm Horse! And I? I am sad!

Young Fizzarolli: Why are you sad, Worm Horse?

Young Blitzo: Because, I have no legs!

Young Fizzarolli: Oh, well that's okay.

Young Blitzo: I lost all my legs in THE WAR!

Young Fizzarolli: The war?!

Young Blitzo: Yes! The Great Pirate War!

Young Fizzarolli: No, no pirates!

Young Blitzo: It's a great pirate warrrrr!

Young Fizzarolli: If you keep talking about pirates, I will punch you.

Young Blitzo: I fought bravely, but I could not run fast enough

Young Blitzo: they took my legs, there was blood everywhere.

Young Fizzarolli: Hahaha, Oh no, ew, no blood. Blood is disgusting.

Young Blitzo: No, it's cool! Hahahahaaaaha!

Young Fizzarolli: Well Banana Pudding is here to save the day

Young Fizzarolli: with his magical feet he dances around with.

Young Fizzarolli: He will dance all over worm horse and make him feel better.

Young Blitzo: and then....

Young Blitzo: There will be more blood! Squirt ketchup on the horse

Young Fizzarolli: Blitzo! That's so gross! Hahaha stop.

Young Blitzo: NEVER!

Cash: Boy, I've got a job for you.

Cash: You are gonna spend the day with one of the Geotia princes.

Young Blitzo: Ew, why?

Cash: Because Money! Now listen carefully

Cash: You are being bought out to be his playmate

Cash: But I want you to steal as much from

Cash: those rich fuckers as you possibly can.

Young Blitzo: Steal?! But what if I get caught?

Cash: Don't you want your family to be able to buy a bigger tent?

Cash: Better food? Don't you want to be

Cash: able to help me and your mama out?

Young Blitzo: Of course, I wanna help mama!

Cash: Then you gotta do this, everything

Cash: those rich fucks have will be worth a fortune. Hic

Young Blitzo: But if I'm caught... I'm scared dad.

Cash: There are scarier things, aren't there son?

Young Blitzo: But... yes papa.

Paimon: Here is your new friend, my son, happy birthday.

Young Stolas: A FRIEND?!

Young Blitzo: I guess. Hi, uh, I'm Blitzo.

Young Stolas: I'm Stolas, it's nice to... Slap Ouch

Paimon: Don't bow to that one, he bows to us. Idiot.

Young Stolas: Oh, right, sorry father.

Paimon: I'm so good at daddy-ing.

Young Stolas: This is my book on the difference between frogs and toads,

Young Stolas: there's a lot of differences!

Young Stolas: And this is my book on plants and herbs!

Young Stolas: Did you know plants can hear you?

Young Blizto: Plants are boring, this is all boring stuff.

Young Stolas: Oh I'm sorry, I've never had a friend to share my books with.

Young Blitzo: You know what would be fun?

Young Blitzo: A game! Let's Play 'Treasure Hunt.'

Young Stolas: What's that?

Young Blitzo: It's where we pretend we are pirates

Young Blitzo: and we go around the house

Young Blitzo: collecting all the nicest things

Young Blitzo: and we throw them out the window!

Young Stolas: We... throw them out the window?

Young Blitzo: Yes.

Young Stolas: Since when did pirates throw things out windows?

Young Blitzo: Since like, the dawn of time, come on,

Young Blitzo: pirates are always throwing stuff out windows.

Young Stolas: I don't think they had windows.

Young Blizto: What? Did a book say that?

Young Stolas: Yes actually! Several!

Young Blitzo: Well in this game,

Young Blitzo: we're throwing them out the window, because it's fun!

Young Stolas: Well that's an odd game. Gasp Is this an imp game?

Young Blitzo: Sure, why not.

Young Stolas: Well if it's what you want to play?

Young Blitzo: Let's do it!

Blitzo: C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!

Blizto: Yes.

Young Stolas: Yay!

Young Stolas and Blitzo: Ooohhh woooow...

Young Blitzo: Ooohh yes!

Young Stolas: Weeee!

Young Blitzo: Yeah!

Young Blitzo and Stolas: Hahahaha

Young Stolas: Weeeeee!

Young Stolas: Hahaha!

Young Stolas: Blitzo, over here!

Young Blitzo grunting and struggling to climb

Young Blitzo: So what is that, your diary?

Young Stolas: No, this is my new grimoire! It's a spell book!

Young Stolas: I have to learn it so I can access the living world!

Young Blitzo: The living world? Like the world with Humans and stuff?

Young Blitzo: Where the sinners come from?

Young Stolas: Mmhmm.

Young Blitzo: That's cool!

Young Stolas: Yes! I'm supposed to learn to use it to study the sky!

Young Blitzo: Why?

Young Stolas: My dad says I can find prophecies, but I don't really know.

Young Stolas: But I'm supposed to, that's what my job will be

Young Stolas: when I grow up. To join the rest of the Goetia family.

Young Blitzo: Well, you know what's I'm gonna do when I grow up?

Young Blitzo: I'm gonna run my own circus and

Young Blitzo: I'm gonna be the most famous imp ever

Young Blitzo: and I'll be able to do what I want to do, all day!

Young Blitzo: I'm gonna make so much money

Young Blitzo: and buy myself a big building, with a big office!

Young Stolas: A big office? For a circus?

Young Blitzo: Yeah! A big office! Circus Business with clowns and horses!

Young Blitzo: And the horses will all have good names

Young Blitzo: like Stapler and Biscuit Queen.

Young Stolas: I'm sure you will. That sounds like a good business.

Young Blitzo: Yeah! And if you want to apply I'll hire you. Maybe.

Young Stolas: You'll hire me?

Young Blitzo: Yeah if I feel like it.

Young Stolas: Well I hope I qualify. You'd be a good boss.

Young Blitzo: You say that with sarcasm, but I totes would.

Young Stolas: Hahahaha

Young Stolas and Blitzo: Hahahahaha!

Stolas groans

Stella: I know still being married isn't a big enough occassion, but to be fair

Stella: It's no picnic to marry with a boring stiff like Stolas

Stolas sigh

Stolas: Stella, what in hell is this?

Stella: Ugh, Stolas, you know I like throwing parties,

Stella: plus it's true so you know you can come if you want.

Stolas sigh

Stella: Hahahahahahaaaaaaha!

Stella: No, Stolas is terrible in bed.

Stella: I swear to fuck he just lays there staring at the wall

Stella: and I have to do everything, it's embarrasing.

Stella: I'm glad one egg fell out of me so I could stop

Stella: pretending to want to fuck his scrawny twig ass.

Stella: Aaaahahahahaha! Gasp HAHAHAHAAA!

Stella: What a pathetic fucking man. Ha!

Stolas: Do you have anything stronger than this?

Waitress: We have Absinthe, your highness.

Stolas: Bring me all of it.

Stella: Poor People! Ugh, I'm so glad that they're not allowed into this thing

Stella: I don't want them anywhere near me

Stella: Can you imagine if you didn't have money?

Two Hellhounds: Stolas, Sir?

Waiter: I'm fine!

Right Hellhound: We caught this nasty imp

Right Hellhound: trying to sneak into your chambers,

Right Hellhound: what should we do with him?

Stolas: Into my chambers, really? Oh well that is, concerning.

Stolas clear throat

Stolas: Leave him to me, I will handle him accordingly.

Stolas: Follow me, imp.

Blitzo̶: Look I didn't mean to interrupt your whatever party,

Blitzo̶: I was just trying to-

Stolas: Don't bother with excuses, I know why you were here.

Blitzo̶: You do?

Stolas: Yes, you are here... to ravish me, weren't you?

Blitzo̶: Uhhhh you?

Stolas: Why else would you be breaking into my room?

Stolas: You could've asked to visit you know,

Stolas: it's been a long time, but I have a very good memory.

Blitzo̶: Oh yeah

Blitzo̶: Yeah well, you know, I figured since you're a prince and

Blitzo̶: all it might just be easier to scale the walls and slip on in

Blitzo̶: Certainly is easier than going through your fucking staff.

Stolas: One would think you might be here for nefarious reasons,

Stolas: if you are sneaking in during the cover of night.

Blitzo̶: Well, I wanted to crash the party and

Blitzo̶: it's always more fun you know to make an entrance.

Stolas: I recall how you enjoy making an entrance

Stolas: So over two decades since I last saw you, are you still a circus clown?

Blitzo̶: Oh no, not anymore... No, I kill people now.

Stolas: Oh how afraid should I be?

Blitzo̶: Well I mean, how afraid do you want to be?

Stolas: Oh um, well, I, uh, you know I was teasing I don't really -

Blitzo̶: Yeah, you seem pretty tense, how about I help you out here?

Stolas: Uuuuuummmm, you know this is, um, getting wee bit, is it hot?

Stolas: I'm starting to feel it getting very hot, oh!

Stolas: What are you doing? I barely remember your name.

Blitzo̶: It's Blitz.

Stolas: Didn't it have an "o" at the end, like a clown name? I remember - oh!

Blitzo̶: Yeah well, it's silent now, kay, so call me Blitz.

Stolas: Okay, Blitz, what are you doing to me?

Blitzo̶: What do you want me to do to you?

Stolas: I, uh, well,

Stolas: OOoooh.... Oh my Fuck!

Stolas: Oh, wow, you are so forwards Blitz! Oh! What are we doing?

Blitzo̶: N-no, stay down damnit.

Stolas: Oh!? So you like to command, you like to be in charge, hm?

Blitzo̶: Yeah, I sure do

Stolas: Oh, so you're a kinky little imp, aren't you?

Stolas: Do you like it when I talk dirty to you?

Stolas: I want you to FUCK me and the.... [rambling]

Blitzo̶: Uh stop it.

Stolas: Yes, if that's what Blitzy wants.

Stolas: Blitzy, oh my, yes!

Stolas: Oh I've never had anyone want me this way.

Stolas: You have no idea how long I've craved this kind of passion

Stolas: and how much it means that the one who want me is..

Stolas: my first ever friend.

Blitzo̶: Alright, fine, I can do this real fast.

Thud

Stella screaming

Blitzo̶: Sorry, I fucked your husband.

Stella: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, STOLAS?!

Stolas: That was the sound of a FUCKING DIVORCE. HAHAHAHA

Stolas groaning

Stolas still groaning

Stolas: ♫ Owl in a cage, you show your age, your sweetness has run foul ♫

Stolas: ♫ without a change you're lost, exhausted, by your time on stage ♫

Stolas: ♫ then you walked into my room and light sparks in the dark ♫

Stolas: ♫ life was suddenly thrilling and new,♫

Stolas: ♫ what between you and I just a comfortable lie ♫

Stolas: ♫ I'm the fool who believes when you look in my eyes. ♫

Stolas: ♫ Prince all alone upon your throne, your power is so frail ♫

Stolas: ♫ you raise your voice, you have no choice inside your gilded jail. ♫

Stella: The fuck are you doing?

Stolas: Reflecting.

Stella: Well stop. It's annoying to hear you screeching your silly woes all the time.

Stolas: Why are you still here? You leave with Via on weekends,

Stolas: but then you stay around the house despite everything.

Stella: I like tormenting you.

Stella: I want to keep reminding you of what you did.

Stolas: I know what I did.

Stolas: I would feel bad if I hurt you, but we both know I didn't do that.

Stolas: You and I were arranged for one reason;

Stolas: to birth a precautionary heir to the Goetia family, nothing more.

Stolas: I tried so many years to make it comfortable for us,

Stolas: to have this family, but it is never enough.

Stolas: The only reason I have endured your constant insults

Stolas: and cruelty was for that girl to have a normal life.

Stolas: I cannot do this anymore, I want you out. Now.

Stella: What do you mean out?

Stolas: I mean out! Out of this palace,

Stolas: out of my life, we are getting The Divorce.

Stella: How dare you?

Stella: What do you think the rest of the Goetia family will think?

Stella: Andrealphus -

Stolas: I don't care what your arrogant brother thinks and

Stolas: the only thing the goetia family wanted from our marriage

Stolas: is already seventeen, so it's over. I'm done.

Stella: Fine. I have no desire to stay

Stella: in the place of a traitorous embarrassment.

Stella: You have fallen from what little grace you had,

Stella: and I know you'll pay for it.

Stolas sigh