Young Stolas: Yawn Young Stolas: MY BIRTHDAY! MY BIRTHDAY! Young Stolas: IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! Young Stolas: YAY! Young Stolas: BIRTHDAY! BIRTHDAY! Young Stolas: WOOHOO! Young Stolas: BIRTHDAY TIME! Servant: Calm yourself, young prince Servant: You know excitement is unbecoming of a Goetia. Young Stolas: Of course, right. Young Stolas: But father told me today is the day Young Stolas: I am old enough to know my purpose and responsibility. Servant: Of course, I'm sure it will be wonderful. Sound of Paimon's broken back standing up Paimon: Ah, there is my little uh... Paimon: Which son is this one? There's so fucking many. Servant: Stolas, you highness. Paimon: Stolas! Yes! Ha... Paimon: Right, right, yeah... That's the one, the owl boy. Paimon: Well my little one, it's finally your day becoming Paimon: a true part of the Goetia family. Paimon: How good for you. Paimon: Are you ready to know what you'll be meant to do to serve Hell? Young Stolas: Yes Father! Paimon: You will be entrusted with the study of the Earth's skies... Paimon: The stars, the prophecies they hold, and all that stuff. Isn't that fun? Paimon: You will begin the studies of your grimoire Paimon: which will grant you access to the mortal realm Paimon: to study and observe and you will grow to be a mighty prince of hell Paimon: with your own legions to lead and pass on your knowledge to. Young Stolas: I will do my best, father! Paimon: Wonderful! Also son, you are destined to sire Paimon: a precautionary addition to the Goetia family Paimon: so you are now engaged. Congratulations. Isn't she charming? Young Stolas crying Paimon: Oh, that's an ugly noise, son. Paimon: Here, how about you cease this bitch crying? Young Stolas continues to cry Paimon: That usually works. Paimon: Oh, would you like it if I took you to the circus in town? Paimon: Children enjoy the circus, right? Paimon: Would that distract you enough from Paimon: your non-negotiable future marriage? Paimon: Is there a spot that's close to the front, Paimon: but also far enough that I don't have to... Paimon sniff and gags Paimon: smell the poor? Clowns screaming in agony Paimon: Oh oh ohohohoh ooooh... Paimon: Ohohohohoh! Oh oh oh oh oh oh... Cash: Now, everyone's favorite thing about circus shit Cash: the motherfuckin' clowns! Cash laughing Kid's blood curling scream Young Fizzarolli: You ready, Blitzo? Young Blitzo: Born ready! Young Blitzo: Ha! Tada~! Young Blitzo: Hahaha! Young Blitzo: Heya folks, wanna see me make a horse? Young Blitzo: Crap! Young Blitzo: De-de-de-de-do-do-do-do Ah, he he, uh haha... Horns! Young Blitzo: Well, heh, it was a horse, but then it ate too much sugar Young Blitzo: and it's legs stopped working so they had to amputate Young Blitzo: Now it's a gross worm horse! Young Stolas: Oh ha ha! Young Blitzo̶: See, he gets it, because horses, they make no sense. Young Fizzarolli: Okay Blitzo, that's enough horsing around... Young Fizzarolli: Hey everybody, look at this. Young Fizzarolli: It's Banana Pudding, the clown horsey. Neigheheh! Crowd laughing Young Stolas: I liked his broken horse joke, it was funny. Young Stolas: Their legs do stop working when Young Stolas: they eat too much sugar, it's called Laminitis. Paimon: What a show, that was real great, so ahem Paimon: That little clown you have my son really enjoyed that one, Paimon: I was wondering if I could buy him. Cash: Buy him? Paimon: Purchase him, yes, accurate. Paimon: My son doesn't have any friends you see, Paimon: and he liked the little clown boy. Paimon: It's his birthday, he's so sad and I don't want to deal with him. Paimon: Can I write a check? Cash: Well Fizzarolli is a big draw, he has a few more shows to be in today Cash: So it would be pretty expensive. Paimon: No no, the other one. Cash: Blitzo? Paimon: Correct, how much? Cash: Wha- well, he's my son so ah, hm, ah, how much ya got in your pocket? Servant dig up his pockets Paimon: Uhhum.... A wadded up five and a slim fit condom. Cash: Ah, that's plenty. Done. Paimon: Splendid. Fetch him for me and we will be on our way. Young Fizzarolli: I'm Banana Pudding and I like to dance! Young Blitzo: I am Worm Horse! And I? I am sad! Young Fizzarolli: Why are you sad, Worm Horse? Young Blitzo: Because, I have no legs! Young Fizzarolli: Oh, well that's okay. Young Blitzo: I lost all my legs in THE WAR! Young Fizzarolli: The war?! Young Blitzo: Yes! The Great Pirate War! Young Fizzarolli: No, no pirates! Young Blitzo: It's a great pirate warrrrr! Young Fizzarolli: If you keep talking about pirates, I will punch you. Young Blitzo: I fought bravely, but I could not run fast enough Young Blitzo: they took my legs, there was blood everywhere. Young Fizzarolli: Hahaha, Oh no, ew, no blood. Blood is disgusting. Young Blitzo: No, it's cool! Hahahahaaaaha! Young Fizzarolli: Well Banana Pudding is here to save the day Young Fizzarolli: with his magical feet he dances around with. Young Fizzarolli: He will dance all over worm horse and make him feel better. Young Blitzo: and then.... Young Blitzo: There will be more blood! Squirt ketchup on the horse Young Fizzarolli: Blitzo! That's so gross! Hahaha stop. Young Blitzo: NEVER! Cash: Boy, I've got a job for you. Cash: You are gonna spend the day with one of the Geotia princes. Young Blitzo: Ew, why? Cash: Because Money! Now listen carefully Cash: You are being bought out to be his playmate Cash: But I want you to steal as much from Cash: those rich fuckers as you possibly can. Young Blitzo: Steal?! But what if I get caught? Cash: Don't you want your family to be able to buy a bigger tent? Cash: Better food? Don't you want to be Cash: able to help me and your mama out? Young Blitzo: Of course, I wanna help mama! Cash: Then you gotta do this, everything Cash: those rich fucks have will be worth a fortune. Hic Young Blitzo: But if I'm caught... I'm scared dad. Cash: There are scarier things, aren't there son? Young Blitzo: But... yes papa. Paimon: Here is your new friend, my son, happy birthday. Young Stolas: A FRIEND?! Young Blitzo: I guess. Hi, uh, I'm Blitzo. Young Stolas: I'm Stolas, it's nice to... Slap Ouch Paimon: Don't bow to that one, he bows to us. Idiot. Young Stolas: Oh, right, sorry father. Paimon: I'm so good at daddy-ing. Young Stolas: This is my book on the difference between frogs and toads, Young Stolas: there's a lot of differences! Young Stolas: And this is my book on plants and herbs! Young Stolas: Did you know plants can hear you? Young Blizto: Plants are boring, this is all boring stuff. Young Stolas: Oh I'm sorry, I've never had a friend to share my books with. Young Blitzo: You know what would be fun? Young Blitzo: A game! Let's Play 'Treasure Hunt.' Young Stolas: What's that? Young Blitzo: It's where we pretend we are pirates Young Blitzo: and we go around the house Young Blitzo: collecting all the nicest things Young Blitzo: and we throw them out the window! Young Stolas: We... throw them out the window? Young Blitzo: Yes. Young Stolas: Since when did pirates throw things out windows? Young Blitzo: Since like, the dawn of time, come on, Young Blitzo: pirates are always throwing stuff out windows. Young Stolas: I don't think they had windows. Young Blizto: What? Did a book say that? Young Stolas: Yes actually! Several! Young Blitzo: Well in this game, Young Blitzo: we're throwing them out the window, because it's fun! Young Stolas: Well that's an odd game. Gasp Is this an imp game? Young Blitzo: Sure, why not. Young Stolas: Well if it's what you want to play? Young Blitzo: Let's do it! Blitzo: C'mon, c'mon, c'mon! Blizto: Yes. Young Stolas: Yay! Young Stolas and Blitzo: Ooohhh woooow... Young Blitzo: Ooohh yes! Young Stolas: Weeee! Young Blitzo: Yeah! Young Blitzo and Stolas: Hahahaha Young Stolas: Weeeeee! Young Stolas: Hahaha! Young Stolas: Blitzo, over here! Young Blitzo grunting and struggling to climb Young Blitzo: So what is that, your diary? Young Stolas: No, this is my new grimoire! It's a spell book! Young Stolas: I have to learn it so I can access the living world! Young Blitzo: The living world? Like the world with Humans and stuff? Young Blitzo: Where the sinners come from? Young Stolas: Mmhmm. Young Blitzo: That's cool! Young Stolas: Yes! I'm supposed to learn to use it to study the sky! Young Blitzo: Why? Young Stolas: My dad says I can find prophecies, but I don't really know. Young Stolas: But I'm supposed to, that's what my job will be Young Stolas: when I grow up. To join the rest of the Goetia family. Young Blitzo: Well, you know what's I'm gonna do when I grow up? Young Blitzo: I'm gonna run my own circus and Young Blitzo: I'm gonna be the most famous imp ever Young Blitzo: and I'll be able to do what I want to do, all day! Young Blitzo: I'm gonna make so much money Young Blitzo: and buy myself a big building, with a big office! Young Stolas: A big office? For a circus? Young Blitzo: Yeah! A big office! Circus Business with clowns and horses! Young Blitzo: And the horses will all have good names Young Blitzo: like Stapler and Biscuit Queen. Young Stolas: I'm sure you will. That sounds like a good business. Young Blitzo: Yeah! And if you want to apply I'll hire you. Maybe. Young Stolas: You'll hire me? Young Blitzo: Yeah if I feel like it. Young Stolas: Well I hope I qualify. You'd be a good boss. Young Blitzo: You say that with sarcasm, but I totes would. Young Stolas: Hahahaha Young Stolas and Blitzo: Hahahahaha! Stolas groans Stella: I know still being married isn't a big enough occassion, but to be fair Stella: It's no picnic to marry with a boring stiff like Stolas Stolas sigh Stolas: Stella, what in hell is this? Stella: Ugh, Stolas, you know I like throwing parties, Stella: plus it's true so you know you can come if you want. Stolas sigh Stella: Hahahahahahaaaaaaha! Stella: No, Stolas is terrible in bed. Stella: I swear to fuck he just lays there staring at the wall Stella: and I have to do everything, it's embarrasing. Stella: I'm glad one egg fell out of me so I could stop Stella: pretending to want to fuck his scrawny twig ass. Stella: Aaaahahahahaha! Gasp HAHAHAHAAA! Stella: What a pathetic fucking man. Ha! Stolas: Do you have anything stronger than this? Waitress: We have Absinthe, your highness. Stolas: Bring me all of it. Stella: Poor People! Ugh, I'm so glad that they're not allowed into this thing Stella: I don't want them anywhere near me Stella: Can you imagine if you didn't have money? Two Hellhounds: Stolas, Sir? Waiter: I'm fine! Right Hellhound: We caught this nasty imp Right Hellhound: trying to sneak into your chambers, Right Hellhound: what should we do with him? Stolas: Into my chambers, really? Oh well that is, concerning. Stolas clear throat Stolas: Leave him to me, I will handle him accordingly. Stolas: Follow me, imp. Blitzo̶: Look I didn't mean to interrupt your whatever party, Blitzo̶: I was just trying to- Stolas: Don't bother with excuses, I know why you were here. Blitzo̶: You do? Stolas: Yes, you are here... to ravish me, weren't you? Blitzo̶: Uhhhh you? Stolas: Why else would you be breaking into my room? Stolas: You could've asked to visit you know, Stolas: it's been a long time, but I have a very good memory. Blitzo̶: Oh yeah Blitzo̶: Yeah well, you know, I figured since you're a prince and Blitzo̶: all it might just be easier to scale the walls and slip on in Blitzo̶: Certainly is easier than going through your fucking staff. Stolas: One would think you might be here for nefarious reasons, Stolas: if you are sneaking in during the cover of night. Blitzo̶: Well, I wanted to crash the party and Blitzo̶: it's always more fun you know to make an entrance. Stolas: I recall how you enjoy making an entrance Stolas: So over two decades since I last saw you, are you still a circus clown? Blitzo̶: Oh no, not anymore... No, I kill people now. Stolas: Oh how afraid should I be? Blitzo̶: Well I mean, how afraid do you want to be? Stolas: Oh um, well, I, uh, you know I was teasing I don't really - Blitzo̶: Yeah, you seem pretty tense, how about I help you out here? Stolas: Uuuuuummmm, you know this is, um, getting wee bit, is it hot? Stolas: I'm starting to feel it getting very hot, oh! Stolas: What are you doing? I barely remember your name. Blitzo̶: It's Blitz. Stolas: Didn't it have an "o" at the end, like a clown name? I remember - oh! Blitzo̶: Yeah well, it's silent now, kay, so call me Blitz. Stolas: Okay, Blitz, what are you doing to me? Blitzo̶: What do you want me to do to you? Stolas: I, uh, well, Stolas: OOoooh.... Oh my Fuck! Stolas: Oh, wow, you are so forwards Blitz! Oh! What are we doing? Blitzo̶: N-no, stay down damnit. Stolas: Oh!? So you like to command, you like to be in charge, hm? Blitzo̶: Yeah, I sure do Stolas: Oh, so you're a kinky little imp, aren't you? Stolas: Do you like it when I talk dirty to you? Stolas: I want you to FUCK me and the.... [rambling] Blitzo̶: Uh stop it. Stolas: Yes, if that's what Blitzy wants. Stolas: Blitzy, oh my, yes! Stolas: Oh I've never had anyone want me this way. Stolas: You have no idea how long I've craved this kind of passion Stolas: and how much it means that the one who want me is.. Stolas: my first ever friend. Blitzo̶: Alright, fine, I can do this real fast. Thud Stella screaming Blitzo̶: Sorry, I fucked your husband. Stella: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, STOLAS?! Stolas: That was the sound of a FUCKING DIVORCE. HAHAHAHA Stolas groaning Stolas still groaning Stolas: ♫ Owl in a cage, you show your age, your sweetness has run foul ♫ Stolas: ♫ without a change you're lost, exhausted, by your time on stage ♫ Stolas: ♫ then you walked into my room and light sparks in the dark ♫ Stolas: ♫ life was suddenly thrilling and new,♫ Stolas: ♫ what between you and I just a comfortable lie ♫ Stolas: ♫ I'm the fool who believes when you look in my eyes. ♫ Stolas: ♫ Prince all alone upon your throne, your power is so frail ♫ Stolas: ♫ you raise your voice, you have no choice inside your gilded jail. ♫ Stella: The fuck are you doing? Stolas: Reflecting. Stella: Well stop. It's annoying to hear you screeching your silly woes all the time. Stolas: Why are you still here? You leave with Via on weekends, Stolas: but then you stay around the house despite everything. Stella: I like tormenting you. Stella: I want to keep reminding you of what you did. Stolas: I know what I did. Stolas: I would feel bad if I hurt you, but we both know I didn't do that. Stolas: You and I were arranged for one reason; Stolas: to birth a precautionary heir to the Goetia family, nothing more. Stolas: I tried so many years to make it comfortable for us, Stolas: to have this family, but it is never enough. Stolas: The only reason I have endured your constant insults Stolas: and cruelty was for that girl to have a normal life. Stolas: I cannot do this anymore, I want you out. Now. Stella: What do you mean out? Stolas: I mean out! Out of this palace, Stolas: out of my life, we are getting The Divorce. Stella: How dare you? Stella: What do you think the rest of the Goetia family will think? Stella: Andrealphus - Stolas: I don't care what your arrogant brother thinks and Stolas: the only thing the goetia family wanted from our marriage Stolas: is already seventeen, so it's over. I'm done. Stella: Fine. I have no desire to stay Stella: in the place of a traitorous embarrassment. Stella: You have fallen from what little grace you had, Stella: and I know you'll pay for it. Stolas sigh