Young Stolas: Yawn
Young Stolas: MY BIRTHDAY! MY BIRTHDAY!
Young Stolas: IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!
Young Stolas: YAY!
Young Stolas: BIRTHDAY! BIRTHDAY!
Young Stolas: WOOHOO!
Young Stolas: BIRTHDAY TIME!
Servant: Calm yourself, young prince
Servant: You know excitement is unbecoming of a Goetia.
Young Stolas: Of course, right.
Young Stolas: But father told me today is the day
Young Stolas: I am old enough to know my purpose and responsibility.
Servant: Of course, I'm sure it will be wonderful.
Sound of Paimon's broken back standing up
Paimon: Ah, there is my little uh...
Paimon: Which son is this one? There's so fucking many.
Servant: Stolas, you highness.
Paimon: Stolas! Yes! Ha...
Paimon: Right, right, yeah... That's the one, the owl boy.
Paimon: Well my little one, it's finally your day becoming
Paimon: a true part of the Goetia family.
Paimon: How good for you.
Paimon: Are you ready to know what you'll be meant to do to serve Hell?
Young Stolas: Yes Father!
Paimon: You will be entrusted with the study of the Earth's skies...
Paimon: The stars, the prophecies they hold, and all that stuff. Isn't that fun?
Paimon: You will begin the studies of your grimoire
Paimon: which will grant you access to the mortal realm
Paimon: to study and observe and you will grow to be a mighty prince of hell
Paimon: with your own legions to lead and pass on your knowledge to.
Young Stolas: I will do my best, father!
Paimon: Wonderful! Also son, you are destined to sire
Paimon: a precautionary addition to the Goetia family
Paimon: so you are now engaged. Congratulations. Isn't she charming?
Young Stolas crying
Paimon: Oh, that's an ugly noise, son.
Paimon: Here, how about you cease this bitch crying?
Young Stolas continues to cry
Paimon: That usually works.
Paimon: Oh, would you like it if I took you to the circus in town?
Paimon: Children enjoy the circus, right?
Paimon: Would that distract you enough from
Paimon: your non-negotiable future marriage?
Paimon: Is there a spot that's close to the front,
Paimon: but also far enough that I don't have to...
Paimon sniff and gags
Paimon: smell the poor?
Clowns screaming in agony
Paimon: Oh oh ohohohoh ooooh...
Paimon: Ohohohohoh! Oh oh oh oh oh oh...
Cash: Now, everyone's favorite thing about circus shit
Cash: the motherfuckin' clowns!
Cash laughing
Kid's blood curling scream
Young Fizzarolli: You ready, Blitzo?
Young Blitzo: Born ready!
Young Blitzo: Ha! Tada~!
Young Blitzo: Hahaha!
Young Blitzo: Heya folks, wanna see me make a horse?
Young Blitzo: Crap!
Young Blitzo: De-de-de-de-do-do-do-do Ah, he he, uh haha... Horns!
Young Blitzo: Well, heh, it was a horse, but then it ate too much sugar
Young Blitzo: and it's legs stopped working so they had to amputate
Young Blitzo: Now it's a gross worm horse!
Young Stolas: Oh ha ha!
Young Blitzo̶: See, he gets it, because horses, they make no sense.
Young Fizzarolli: Okay Blitzo, that's enough horsing around...
Young Fizzarolli: Hey everybody, look at this.
Young Fizzarolli: It's Banana Pudding, the clown horsey. Neigheheh!
Crowd laughing
Young Stolas: I liked his broken horse joke, it was funny.
Young Stolas: Their legs do stop working when
Young Stolas: they eat too much sugar, it's called Laminitis.
Paimon: What a show, that was real great, so ahem
Paimon: That little clown you have my son really enjoyed that one,
Paimon: I was wondering if I could buy him.
Cash: Buy him?
Paimon: Purchase him, yes, accurate.
Paimon: My son doesn't have any friends you see,
Paimon: and he liked the little clown boy.
Paimon: It's his birthday, he's so sad and I don't want to deal with him.
Paimon: Can I write a check?
Cash: Well Fizzarolli is a big draw, he has a few more shows to be in today
Cash: So it would be pretty expensive.
Paimon: No no, the other one.
Cash: Blitzo?
Paimon: Correct, how much?
Cash: Wha- well, he's my son so ah, hm, ah, how much ya got in your pocket?
Servant dig up his pockets
Paimon: Uhhum.... A wadded up five and a slim fit condom.
Cash: Ah, that's plenty. Done.
Paimon: Splendid. Fetch him for me and we will be on our way.
Young Fizzarolli: I'm Banana Pudding and I like to dance!
Young Blitzo: I am Worm Horse! And I? I am sad!
Young Fizzarolli: Why are you sad, Worm Horse?
Young Blitzo: Because, I have no legs!
Young Fizzarolli: Oh, well that's okay.
Young Blitzo: I lost all my legs in THE WAR!
Young Fizzarolli: The war?!
Young Blitzo: Yes! The Great Pirate War!
Young Fizzarolli: No, no pirates!
Young Blitzo: It's a great pirate warrrrr!
Young Fizzarolli: If you keep talking about pirates, I will punch you.
Young Blitzo: I fought bravely, but I could not run fast enough
Young Blitzo: they took my legs, there was blood everywhere.
Young Fizzarolli: Hahaha, Oh no, ew, no blood. Blood is disgusting.
Young Blitzo: No, it's cool! Hahahahaaaaha!
Young Fizzarolli: Well Banana Pudding is here to save the day
Young Fizzarolli: with his magical feet he dances around with.
Young Fizzarolli: He will dance all over worm horse and make him feel better.
Young Blitzo: and then....
Young Blitzo: There will be more blood! Squirt ketchup on the horse
Young Fizzarolli: Blitzo! That's so gross! Hahaha stop.
Young Blitzo: NEVER!
Cash: Boy, I've got a job for you.
Cash: You are gonna spend the day with one of the Geotia princes.
Young Blitzo: Ew, why?
Cash: Because Money! Now listen carefully
Cash: You are being bought out to be his playmate
Cash: But I want you to steal as much from
Cash: those rich fuckers as you possibly can.
Young Blitzo: Steal?! But what if I get caught?
Cash: Don't you want your family to be able to buy a bigger tent?
Cash: Better food? Don't you want to be
Cash: able to help me and your mama out?
Young Blitzo: Of course, I wanna help mama!
Cash: Then you gotta do this, everything
Cash: those rich fucks have will be worth a fortune. Hic
Young Blitzo: But if I'm caught... I'm scared dad.
Cash: There are scarier things, aren't there son?
Young Blitzo: But... yes papa.
Paimon: Here is your new friend, my son, happy birthday.
Young Stolas: A FRIEND?!
Young Blitzo: I guess. Hi, uh, I'm Blitzo.
Young Stolas: I'm Stolas, it's nice to... Slap Ouch
Paimon: Don't bow to that one, he bows to us. Idiot.
Young Stolas: Oh, right, sorry father.
Paimon: I'm so good at daddy-ing.
Young Stolas: This is my book on the difference between frogs and toads,
Young Stolas: there's a lot of differences!
Young Stolas: And this is my book on plants and herbs!
Young Stolas: Did you know plants can hear you?
Young Blizto: Plants are boring, this is all boring stuff.
Young Stolas: Oh I'm sorry, I've never had a friend to share my books with.
Young Blitzo: You know what would be fun?
Young Blitzo: A game! Let's Play 'Treasure Hunt.'
Young Stolas: What's that?
Young Blitzo: It's where we pretend we are pirates
Young Blitzo: and we go around the house
Young Blitzo: collecting all the nicest things
Young Blitzo: and we throw them out the window!
Young Stolas: We... throw them out the window?
Young Blitzo: Yes.
Young Stolas: Since when did pirates throw things out windows?
Young Blitzo: Since like, the dawn of time, come on,
Young Blitzo: pirates are always throwing stuff out windows.
Young Stolas: I don't think they had windows.
Young Blizto: What? Did a book say that?
Young Stolas: Yes actually! Several!
Young Blitzo: Well in this game,
Young Blitzo: we're throwing them out the window, because it's fun!
Young Stolas: Well that's an odd game. Gasp Is this an imp game?
Young Blitzo: Sure, why not.
Young Stolas: Well if it's what you want to play?
Young Blitzo: Let's do it!
Blitzo: C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!
Blizto: Yes.
Young Stolas: Yay!
Young Stolas and Blitzo: Ooohhh woooow...
Young Blitzo: Ooohh yes!
Young Stolas: Weeee!
Young Blitzo: Yeah!
Young Blitzo and Stolas: Hahahaha
Young Stolas: Weeeeee!
Young Stolas: Hahaha!
Young Stolas: Blitzo, over here!
Young Blitzo grunting and struggling to climb
Young Blitzo: So what is that, your diary?
Young Stolas: No, this is my new grimoire! It's a spell book!
Young Stolas: I have to learn it so I can access the living world!
Young Blitzo: The living world? Like the world with Humans and stuff?
Young Blitzo: Where the sinners come from?
Young Stolas: Mmhmm.
Young Blitzo: That's cool!
Young Stolas: Yes! I'm supposed to learn to use it to study the sky!
Young Blitzo: Why?
Young Stolas: My dad says I can find prophecies, but I don't really know.
Young Stolas: But I'm supposed to, that's what my job will be
Young Stolas: when I grow up. To join the rest of the Goetia family.
Young Blitzo: Well, you know what's I'm gonna do when I grow up?
Young Blitzo: I'm gonna run my own circus and
Young Blitzo: I'm gonna be the most famous imp ever
Young Blitzo: and I'll be able to do what I want to do, all day!
Young Blitzo: I'm gonna make so much money
Young Blitzo: and buy myself a big building, with a big office!
Young Stolas: A big office? For a circus?
Young Blitzo: Yeah! A big office! Circus Business with clowns and horses!
Young Blitzo: And the horses will all have good names
Young Blitzo: like Stapler and Biscuit Queen.
Young Stolas: I'm sure you will. That sounds like a good business.
Young Blitzo: Yeah! And if you want to apply I'll hire you. Maybe.
Young Stolas: You'll hire me?
Young Blitzo: Yeah if I feel like it.
Young Stolas: Well I hope I qualify. You'd be a good boss.
Young Blitzo: You say that with sarcasm, but I totes would.
Young Stolas: Hahahaha
Young Stolas and Blitzo: Hahahahaha!
Stolas groans
Stella: I know still being married isn't a big enough occassion, but to be fair
Stella: It's no picnic to marry with a boring stiff like Stolas
Stolas sigh
Stolas: Stella, what in hell is this?
Stella: Ugh, Stolas, you know I like throwing parties,
Stella: plus it's true so you know you can come if you want.
Stolas sigh
Stella: Hahahahahahaaaaaaha!
Stella: No, Stolas is terrible in bed.
Stella: I swear to fuck he just lays there staring at the wall
Stella: and I have to do everything, it's embarrasing.
Stella: I'm glad one egg fell out of me so I could stop
Stella: pretending to want to fuck his scrawny twig ass.
Stella: Aaaahahahahaha! Gasp HAHAHAHAAA!
Stella: What a pathetic fucking man. Ha!
Stolas: Do you have anything stronger than this?
Waitress: We have Absinthe, your highness.
Stolas: Bring me all of it.
Stella: Poor People! Ugh, I'm so glad that they're not allowed into this thing
Stella: I don't want them anywhere near me
Stella: Can you imagine if you didn't have money?
Two Hellhounds: Stolas, Sir?
Waiter: I'm fine!
Right Hellhound: We caught this nasty imp
Right Hellhound: trying to sneak into your chambers,
Right Hellhound: what should we do with him?
Stolas: Into my chambers, really? Oh well that is, concerning.
Stolas clear throat
Stolas: Leave him to me, I will handle him accordingly.
Stolas: Follow me, imp.
Blitzo̶: Look I didn't mean to interrupt your whatever party,
Blitzo̶: I was just trying to-
Stolas: Don't bother with excuses, I know why you were here.
Blitzo̶: You do?
Stolas: Yes, you are here... to ravish me, weren't you?
Blitzo̶: Uhhhh you?
Stolas: Why else would you be breaking into my room?
Stolas: You could've asked to visit you know,
Stolas: it's been a long time, but I have a very good memory.
Blitzo̶: Oh yeah
Blitzo̶: Yeah well, you know, I figured since you're a prince and
Blitzo̶: all it might just be easier to scale the walls and slip on in
Blitzo̶: Certainly is easier than going through your fucking staff.
Stolas: One would think you might be here for nefarious reasons,
Stolas: if you are sneaking in during the cover of night.
Blitzo̶: Well, I wanted to crash the party and
Blitzo̶: it's always more fun you know to make an entrance.
Stolas: I recall how you enjoy making an entrance
Stolas: So over two decades since I last saw you, are you still a circus clown?
Blitzo̶: Oh no, not anymore... No, I kill people now.
Stolas: Oh how afraid should I be?
Blitzo̶: Well I mean, how afraid do you want to be?
Stolas: Oh um, well, I, uh, you know I was teasing I don't really -
Blitzo̶: Yeah, you seem pretty tense, how about I help you out here?
Stolas: Uuuuuummmm, you know this is, um, getting wee bit, is it hot?
Stolas: I'm starting to feel it getting very hot, oh!
Stolas: What are you doing? I barely remember your name.
Blitzo̶: It's Blitz.
Stolas: Didn't it have an "o" at the end, like a clown name? I remember - oh!
Blitzo̶: Yeah well, it's silent now, kay, so call me Blitz.
Stolas: Okay, Blitz, what are you doing to me?
Blitzo̶: What do you want me to do to you?
Stolas: I, uh, well,
Stolas: OOoooh.... Oh my Fuck!
Stolas: Oh, wow, you are so forwards Blitz! Oh! What are we doing?
Blitzo̶: N-no, stay down damnit.
Stolas: Oh!? So you like to command, you like to be in charge, hm?
Blitzo̶: Yeah, I sure do
Stolas: Oh, so you're a kinky little imp, aren't you?
Stolas: Do you like it when I talk dirty to you?
Stolas: I want you to FUCK me and the.... [rambling]
Blitzo̶: Uh stop it.
Stolas: Yes, if that's what Blitzy wants.
Stolas: Blitzy, oh my, yes!
Stolas: Oh I've never had anyone want me this way.
Stolas: You have no idea how long I've craved this kind of passion
Stolas: and how much it means that the one who want me is..
Stolas: my first ever friend.
Blitzo̶: Alright, fine, I can do this real fast.
Thud
Stella screaming
Blitzo̶: Sorry, I fucked your husband.
Stella: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, STOLAS?!
Stolas: That was the sound of a FUCKING DIVORCE. HAHAHAHA
Stolas groaning
Stolas still groaning
Stolas: ♫ Owl in a cage, you show your age, your sweetness has run foul ♫
Stolas: ♫ without a change you're lost, exhausted, by your time on stage ♫
Stolas: ♫ then you walked into my room and light sparks in the dark ♫
Stolas: ♫ life was suddenly thrilling and new,♫
Stolas: ♫ what between you and I just a comfortable lie ♫
Stolas: ♫ I'm the fool who believes when you look in my eyes. ♫
Stolas: ♫ Prince all alone upon your throne, your power is so frail ♫
Stolas: ♫ you raise your voice, you have no choice inside your gilded jail. ♫
Stella: The fuck are you doing?
Stolas: Reflecting.
Stella: Well stop. It's annoying to hear you screeching your silly woes all the time.
Stolas: Why are you still here? You leave with Via on weekends,
Stolas: but then you stay around the house despite everything.
Stella: I like tormenting you.
Stella: I want to keep reminding you of what you did.
Stolas: I know what I did.
Stolas: I would feel bad if I hurt you, but we both know I didn't do that.
Stolas: You and I were arranged for one reason;
Stolas: to birth a precautionary heir to the Goetia family, nothing more.
Stolas: I tried so many years to make it comfortable for us,
Stolas: to have this family, but it is never enough.
Stolas: The only reason I have endured your constant insults
Stolas: and cruelty was for that girl to have a normal life.
Stolas: I cannot do this anymore, I want you out. Now.
Stella: What do you mean out?
Stolas: I mean out! Out of this palace,
Stolas: out of my life, we are getting The Divorce.
Stella: How dare you?
Stella: What do you think the rest of the Goetia family will think?
Stella: Andrealphus -
Stolas: I don't care what your arrogant brother thinks and
Stolas: the only thing the goetia family wanted from our marriage
Stolas: is already seventeen, so it's over. I'm done.
Stella: Fine. I have no desire to stay
Stella: in the place of a traitorous embarrassment.
Stella: You have fallen from what little grace you had,
Stella: and I know you'll pay for it.
Stolas sigh