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Young Stolas: Yawn
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Young Stolas: MY BIRTHDAY! MY BIRTHDAY!
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Young Stolas: IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!
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Young Stolas: YAY!
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Young Stolas: BIRTHDAY! BIRTHDAY!
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Young Stolas: WOOHOO!
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Young Stolas: BIRTHDAY TIME!
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Servant: Calm yourself, young prince
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Servant: You know excitement is unbecoming of a Goetia.
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Young Stolas: Of course, right.
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Young Stolas: But father told me today is the day
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Young Stolas: I am old enough to know my purpose and responsibility.
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Servant: Of course, I'm sure it will be wonderful.
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Sound of Paimon's broken back standing up
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Paimon: Ah, there is my little uh...
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Paimon: Which son is this one? There's so fucking many.
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Servant: Stolas, you highness.
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Paimon: Stolas! Yes! Ha...
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Paimon: Right, right, yeah... That's the one, the owl boy.
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Paimon: Well my little one, it's finally your day becoming
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Paimon: a true part of the Goetia family.
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Paimon: How good for you.
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Paimon: Are you ready to know what you'll be meant to do to serve Hell?
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Young Stolas: Yes Father!
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Paimon: You will be entrusted with the study of the Earth's skies...
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Paimon: The stars, the prophecies they hold, and all that stuff. Isn't that fun?
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Paimon: You will begin the studies of your grimoire
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Paimon: which will grant you access to the mortal realm
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Paimon: to study and observe and you will grow to be a mighty prince of hell
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Paimon: with your own legions to lead and pass on your knowledge to.
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Young Stolas: I will do my best, father!
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Paimon: Wonderful! Also son, you are destined to sire
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Paimon: a precautionary addition to the Goetia family
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Paimon: so you are now engaged. Congratulations. Isn't she charming?
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Young Stolas crying
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Paimon: Oh, that's an ugly noise, son.
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Paimon: Here, how about you cease this bitch crying?
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Young Stolas continues to cry
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Paimon: That usually works.
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Paimon: Oh, would you like it if I took you to the circus in town?
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Paimon: Children enjoy the circus, right?
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Paimon: Would that distract you enough from
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Paimon: your non-negotiable future marriage?
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Paimon: Is there a spot that's close to the front,
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Paimon: but also far enough that I don't have to...
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Paimon sniff and gags
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Paimon: smell the poor?
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Clowns screaming in agony
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Paimon: Oh oh ohohohoh ooooh...
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Paimon: Ohohohohoh! Oh oh oh oh oh oh...
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Cash: Now, everyone's favorite thing about circus shit
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Cash: the motherfuckin' clowns!
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Cash laughing
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Kid's blood curling scream
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Young Fizzarolli: You ready, Blitzo?
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Young Blitzo: Born ready!
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Young Blitzo: Ha! Tada~!
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Young Blitzo: Hahaha!
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Young Blitzo: Heya folks, wanna see me make a horse?
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Young Blitzo: Crap!
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Young Blitzo: De-de-de-de-do-do-do-do Ah, he he, uh haha... Horns!
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Young Blitzo: Well, heh, it was a horse, but then it ate too much sugar
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Young Blitzo: and it's legs stopped working so they had to amputate
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Young Blitzo: Now it's a gross worm horse!
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Young Stolas: Oh ha ha!
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Young Blitzo̶: See, he gets it, because horses, they make no sense.
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Young Fizzarolli: Okay Blitzo, that's enough horsing around...
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Young Fizzarolli: Hey everybody, look at this.
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Young Fizzarolli: It's Banana Pudding, the clown horsey. Neigheheh!
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Crowd laughing
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Young Stolas: I liked his broken horse joke, it was funny.
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Young Stolas: Their legs do stop working when
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Young Stolas: they eat too much sugar, it's called Laminitis.
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Paimon: What a show, that was real great, so ahem
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Paimon: That little clown you have my son really enjoyed that one,
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Paimon: I was wondering if I could buy him.
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Cash: Buy him?
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Paimon: Purchase him, yes, accurate.
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Paimon: My son doesn't have any friends you see,
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Paimon: and he liked the little clown boy.
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Paimon: It's his birthday, he's so sad and I don't want to deal with him.
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Paimon: Can I write a check?
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Cash: Well Fizzarolli is a big draw, he has a few more shows to be in today
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Cash: So it would be pretty expensive.
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Paimon: No no, the other one.
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Cash: Blitzo?
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Paimon: Correct, how much?
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Cash: Wha- well, he's my son so ah, hm, ah, how much ya got in your pocket?
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Servant dig up his pockets
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Paimon: Uhhum.... A wadded up five and a slim fit condom.
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Cash: Ah, that's plenty. Done.
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Paimon: Splendid. Fetch him for me and we will be on our way.
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Young Fizzarolli: I'm Banana Pudding and I like to dance!
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Young Blitzo: I am Worm Horse! And I? I am sad!
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Young Fizzarolli: Why are you sad, Worm Horse?
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Young Blitzo: Because, I have no legs!
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Young Fizzarolli: Oh, well that's okay.
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Young Blitzo: I lost all my legs in THE WAR!
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Young Fizzarolli: The war?!
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Young Blitzo: Yes! The Great Pirate War!
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Young Fizzarolli: No, no pirates!
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Young Blitzo: It's a great pirate warrrrr!
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Young Fizzarolli: If you keep talking about pirates, I will punch you.
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Young Blitzo: I fought bravely, but I could not run fast enough
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Young Blitzo: they took my legs, there was blood everywhere.
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Young Fizzarolli: Hahaha, Oh no, ew, no blood. Blood is disgusting.
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Young Blitzo: No, it's cool! Hahahahaaaaha!
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Young Fizzarolli: Well Banana Pudding is here to save the day
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Young Fizzarolli: with his magical feet he dances around with.
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Young Fizzarolli: He will dance all over worm horse and make him feel better.
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Young Blitzo: and then....
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Young Blitzo: There will be more blood! Squirt ketchup on the horse
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Young Fizzarolli: Blitzo! That's so gross! Hahaha stop.
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Young Blitzo: NEVER!
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Cash: Boy, I've got a job for you.
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Cash: You are gonna spend the day with one of the Geotia princes.
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Young Blitzo: Ew, why?
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Cash: Because Money! Now listen carefully
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Cash: You are being bought out to be his playmate
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Cash: But I want you to steal as much from
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Cash: those rich fuckers as you possibly can.
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Young Blitzo: Steal?! But what if I get caught?
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Cash: Don't you want your family to be able to buy a bigger tent?
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Cash: Better food? Don't you want to be
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Cash: able to help me and your mama out?
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Young Blitzo: Of course, I wanna help mama!
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Cash: Then you gotta do this, everything
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Cash: those rich fucks have will be worth a fortune. Hic
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Young Blitzo: But if I'm caught... I'm scared dad.
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Cash: There are scarier things, aren't there son?
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Young Blitzo: But... yes papa.
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Paimon: Here is your new friend, my son, happy birthday.
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Young Stolas: A FRIEND?!
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Young Blitzo: I guess. Hi, uh, I'm Blitzo.
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Young Stolas: I'm Stolas, it's nice to... Slap Ouch
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Paimon: Don't bow to that one, he bows to us. Idiot.
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Young Stolas: Oh, right, sorry father.
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Paimon: I'm so good at daddy-ing.
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Young Stolas: This is my book on the difference between frogs and toads,
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Young Stolas: there's a lot of differences!
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Young Stolas: And this is my book on plants and herbs!
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Young Stolas: Did you know plants can hear you?
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Young Blizto: Plants are boring, this is all boring stuff.
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Young Stolas: Oh I'm sorry, I've never had a friend to share my books with.
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Young Blitzo: You know what would be fun?
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Young Blitzo: A game! Let's Play 'Treasure Hunt.'
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Young Stolas: What's that?
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Young Blitzo: It's where we pretend we are pirates
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Young Blitzo: and we go around the house
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Young Blitzo: collecting all the nicest things
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Young Blitzo: and we throw them out the window!
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Young Stolas: We... throw them out the window?
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Young Blitzo: Yes.
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Young Stolas: Since when did pirates throw things out windows?
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Young Blitzo: Since like, the dawn of time, come on,
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Young Blitzo: pirates are always throwing stuff out windows.
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Young Stolas: I don't think they had windows.
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Young Blizto: What? Did a book say that?
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Young Stolas: Yes actually! Several!
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Young Blitzo: Well in this game,
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Young Blitzo: we're throwing them out the window, because it's fun!
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Young Stolas: Well that's an odd game. Gasp Is this an imp game?
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Young Blitzo: Sure, why not.
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Young Stolas: Well if it's what you want to play?
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Young Blitzo: Let's do it!
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Blitzo: C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!
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Blizto: Yes.
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Young Stolas: Yay!
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Young Stolas and Blitzo: Ooohhh woooow...
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Young Blitzo: Ooohh yes!
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Young Stolas: Weeee!
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Young Blitzo: Yeah!
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Young Blitzo and Stolas: Hahahaha
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Young Stolas: Weeeeee!
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Young Stolas: Hahaha!
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Young Stolas: Blitzo, over here!
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Young Blitzo grunting and struggling to climb
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Young Blitzo: So what is that, your diary?
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Young Stolas: No, this is my new grimoire! It's a spell book!
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Young Stolas: I have to learn it so I can access the living world!
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Young Blitzo: The living world? Like the world with Humans and stuff?
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Young Blitzo: Where the sinners come from?
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Young Stolas: Mmhmm.
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Young Blitzo: That's cool!
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Young Stolas: Yes! I'm supposed to learn to use it to study the sky!
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Young Blitzo: Why?
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Young Stolas: My dad says I can find prophecies, but I don't really know.
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Young Stolas: But I'm supposed to, that's what my job will be
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Young Stolas: when I grow up. To join the rest of the Goetia family.
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Young Blitzo: Well, you know what's I'm gonna do when I grow up?
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Young Blitzo: I'm gonna run my own circus and
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Young Blitzo: I'm gonna be the most famous imp ever
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Young Blitzo: and I'll be able to do what I want to do, all day!
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Young Blitzo: I'm gonna make so much money
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Young Blitzo: and buy myself a big building, with a big office!
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Young Stolas: A big office? For a circus?
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Young Blitzo: Yeah! A big office! Circus Business with clowns and horses!
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Young Blitzo: And the horses will all have good names
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Young Blitzo: like Stapler and Biscuit Queen.
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Young Stolas: I'm sure you will. That sounds like a good business.
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Young Blitzo: Yeah! And if you want to apply I'll hire you. Maybe.
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Young Stolas: You'll hire me?
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Young Blitzo: Yeah if I feel like it.
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Young Stolas: Well I hope I qualify. You'd be a good boss.
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Young Blitzo: You say that with sarcasm, but I totes would.
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Young Stolas: Hahahaha
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Young Stolas and Blitzo: Hahahahaha!
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Stolas groans
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Stella: I know still being married isn't a big enough occassion, but to be fair
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Stella: It's no picnic to marry with a boring stiff like Stolas
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Stolas sigh
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Stolas: Stella, what in hell is this?
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Stella: Ugh, Stolas, you know I like throwing parties,
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Stella: plus it's true so you know you can come if you want.
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Stolas sigh
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Stella: Hahahahahahaaaaaaha!
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Stella: No, Stolas is terrible in bed.
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Stella: I swear to fuck he just lays there staring at the wall
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Stella: and I have to do everything, it's embarrasing.
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Stella: I'm glad one egg fell out of me so I could stop
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Stella: pretending to want to fuck his scrawny twig ass.
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Stella: Aaaahahahahaha! Gasp HAHAHAHAAA!
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Stella: What a pathetic fucking man. Ha!
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Stolas: Do you have anything stronger than this?
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Waitress: We have Absinthe, your highness.
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Stolas: Bring me all of it.
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Stella: Poor People! Ugh, I'm so glad that they're not allowed into this thing
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Stella: I don't want them anywhere near me
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Stella: Can you imagine if you didn't have money?
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Two Hellhounds: Stolas, Sir?
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Waiter: I'm fine!
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Right Hellhound: We caught this nasty imp
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Right Hellhound: trying to sneak into your chambers,
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Right Hellhound: what should we do with him?
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Stolas: Into my chambers, really? Oh well that is, concerning.
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Stolas clear throat
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Stolas: Leave him to me, I will handle him accordingly.
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Stolas: Follow me, imp.
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Blitzo̶: Look I didn't mean to interrupt your whatever party,
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Blitzo̶: I was just trying to-
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Stolas: Don't bother with excuses, I know why you were here.
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Blitzo̶: You do?
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Stolas: Yes, you are here... to ravish me, weren't you?
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Blitzo̶: Uhhhh you?
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Stolas: Why else would you be breaking into my room?
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Stolas: You could've asked to visit you know,
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Stolas: it's been a long time, but I have a very good memory.
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Blitzo̶: Oh yeah
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Blitzo̶: Yeah well, you know, I figured since you're a prince and
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Blitzo̶: all it might just be easier to scale the walls and slip on in
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Blitzo̶: Certainly is easier than going through your fucking staff.
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Stolas: One would think you might be here for nefarious reasons,
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Stolas: if you are sneaking in during the cover of night.
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Blitzo̶: Well, I wanted to crash the party and
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Blitzo̶: it's always more fun you know to make an entrance.
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Stolas: I recall how you enjoy making an entrance
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Stolas: So over two decades since I last saw you, are you still a circus clown?
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Blitzo̶: Oh no, not anymore... No, I kill people now.
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Stolas: Oh how afraid should I be?
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Blitzo̶: Well I mean, how afraid do you want to be?
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Stolas: Oh um, well, I, uh, you know I was teasing I don't really -
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Blitzo̶: Yeah, you seem pretty tense, how about I help you out here?
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Stolas: Uuuuuummmm, you know this is, um, getting wee bit, is it hot?
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Stolas: I'm starting to feel it getting very hot, oh!
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Stolas: What are you doing? I barely remember your name.
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Blitzo̶: It's Blitz.
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Stolas: Didn't it have an "o" at the end, like a clown name? I remember - oh!
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Blitzo̶: Yeah well, it's silent now, kay, so call me Blitz.
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Stolas: Okay, Blitz, what are you doing to me?
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Blitzo̶: What do you want me to do to you?
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Stolas: I, uh, well,
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Stolas: OOoooh.... Oh my Fuck!
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Stolas: Oh, wow, you are so forwards Blitz! Oh! What are we doing?
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Blitzo̶: N-no, stay down damnit.
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Stolas: Oh!? So you like to command, you like to be in charge, hm?
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Blitzo̶: Yeah, I sure do
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Stolas: Oh, so you're a kinky little imp, aren't you?
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Stolas: Do you like it when I talk dirty to you?
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Stolas: I want you to FUCK me and the.... [rambling]
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Blitzo̶: Uh stop it.
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Stolas: Yes, if that's what Blitzy wants.
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Stolas: Blitzy, oh my, yes!
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Stolas: Oh I've never had anyone want me this way.
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Stolas: You have no idea how long I've craved this kind of passion
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Stolas: and how much it means that the one who want me is..
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Stolas: my first ever friend.
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Blitzo̶: Alright, fine, I can do this real fast.
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Thud
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Stella screaming
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Blitzo̶: Sorry, I fucked your husband.
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Stella: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, STOLAS?!
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Stolas: That was the sound of a FUCKING DIVORCE. HAHAHAHA
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Stolas groaning
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Stolas still groaning
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Stolas: ♫ Owl in a cage, you show your age, your sweetness has run foul ♫
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Stolas: ♫ without a change you're lost, exhausted, by your time on stage ♫
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Stolas: ♫ then you walked into my room and light sparks in the dark ♫
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Stolas: ♫ life was suddenly thrilling and new,♫
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Stolas: ♫ what between you and I just a comfortable lie ♫
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Stolas: ♫ I'm the fool who believes when you look in my eyes. ♫
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Stolas: ♫ Prince all alone upon your throne, your power is so frail ♫
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Stolas: ♫ you raise your voice, you have no choice inside your gilded jail. ♫
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Stella: The fuck are you doing?
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Stolas: Reflecting.
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Stella: Well stop. It's annoying to hear you screeching your silly woes all the time.
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Stolas: Why are you still here? You leave with Via on weekends,
307
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Stolas: but then you stay around the house despite everything.
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Stella: I like tormenting you.
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Stella: I want to keep reminding you of what you did.
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Stolas: I know what I did.
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Stolas: I would feel bad if I hurt you, but we both know I didn't do that.
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Stolas: You and I were arranged for one reason;
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Stolas: to birth a precautionary heir to the Goetia family, nothing more.
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Stolas: I tried so many years to make it comfortable for us,
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Stolas: to have this family, but it is never enough.
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Stolas: The only reason I have endured your constant insults
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Stolas: and cruelty was for that girl to have a normal life.
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Stolas: I cannot do this anymore, I want you out. Now.
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Stella: What do you mean out?
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Stolas: I mean out! Out of this palace,
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Stolas: out of my life, we are getting The Divorce.
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Stella: How dare you?
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Stella: What do you think the rest of the Goetia family will think?
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Stella: Andrealphus -
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Stolas: I don't care what your arrogant brother thinks and
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Stolas: the only thing the goetia family wanted from our marriage
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Stolas: is already seventeen, so it's over. I'm done.
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Stella: Fine. I have no desire to stay
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Stella: in the place of a traitorous embarrassment.
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Stella: You have fallen from what little grace you had,
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Stella: and I know you'll pay for it.
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Stolas sigh