What to do when your teacher makes fun of you?

Session of Q&A with Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh, Thay. Plum Village, France, May 2014.

(Bell)

Dear Thay,
dear Sangha,

What should one do when a teacher makes
fun of you in front of the whole class

and your class laughs about you?

Very difficult.

(Crowd laughs)

I think the best way is to laugh along,
to laugh with the whole class,

(Crowd laughs)

to join the class in laughing.

That's the most beautiful thing to do
in those circumstances,

because sometimes something is not funny
but people believe it to be funny.

There is a wrong perception.

You know...

Maybe you will grow up
and become a teacher.

So we should prepare ourselves
not to do like that.

(Laughter)

Teachers need time to grow
into a good teacher.

It's not because you have graduated
from teacher's college,

that you can be a good teacher
right away.

So teachers can make mistakes.

Thay also made mistakes
as a young teacher.

And he still makes mistakes.

But he learns everyday being a teacher.

And he has learned so much
from his own students.

Not only teachers, but nobody
should make fun of anyone,

because they will cause suffering.

Sometimes it is not the intention
to make you suffer

but it's because that person lacks
some skillfulness,

he may talk about the same thing, but
will not hurt you with skillful speech

Even when he wants to teach you, he can
teach in a way that does not hurt you.

That is something we have to learn,
teacher or not.

We say the same thing,
but the way we say it will not hurt people.

Thay has learned about that,
he has many students.

Sometimes he wants to help
his students to transform.

And he has learned to be very careful.

Sometimes he can
tell the disciple directly.

Sometimes he has to help a big brother
or a young sister to tell him,

instead of telling him directly.

Sometimes he can say it right away,

sometimes he has to
wait for a few weeks and tell it later.

You have to choose the time
and the place to tell.

You may tell him in front of a group
or privately, you have to select.

And you learn that through the process
of being a teacher.

So your teacher may not be
very skillful now,

but maybe he does not have
the intention to hurt.

So you should help your teacher.

After the event you may like to
come to your teacher and say:

"My dear teacher, I hope next time
you will not do like that,

because I suffer when you make fun of me
in the class. I get hurt.

So I hope next time you will not do it
to me or to another student of yours."

And you help your teacher.
You do not reproach him. You help him.

So you use compassion and love
in order to respond to something not kind

that the other person has done to you.

You are a good practitioner.

And everyone can make that kind of
mistake, also Thay in the past.

So you yourself and all of us
have to learn.

That is the fourth mindfulness training:

learning to speak in such a way that
you can tell the truth

and help the other person,
and not hurt him or her.

This is a wonderful practice,
the fourth mindfulness training.

(Bell)