Scrubbing Muhammad's Semen Stains (Fun Islamic Fact #15)

Title:
Scrubbing Muhammad's Semen Stains (Fun Islamic Fact #15)
Description:

According to Islam's most trusted sources, Muhammad's favorite wife, Aisha, spent a lot of time cleaning semen off his clothes.

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Welcome to "Fun Islamic Facts," where I share fun facts about Muhammad and the Qur'an, whenever jihadis go on a killing spree.

In Fun Fact Number 8, we learned that Muhammad enjoyed having sex with all nine of his wives in one night. Not surprisingly, rushing from wife to wife during his sex marathons would leave Islam’s patron saint of sex addicts covered in semen.

"And she found a stain on your blanket."
"Stain on my blanket, huh"?

Muhammad’s child-bride Aisha, who’s called “the mother of the faithful” in Islam, was honored with the never-ending task of scrubbing Muhammad’s semen off his clothes.

"What kind of stain was it?"
"Ejaculate."
"A what?"
"Ejaculate."
"A jacalet?"
"Not a jacalet. Ejaculate."

Sahih al-Bukhari, Number 232:

Narrated Aisha: “I used to wash the semen off the clothes of the Prophet and even then I used to notice one or more semen spots on them.”

"Eeewwwwww!"

Sahih Muslim, Number 669:

It was narrated that Aishah said concerning semen: “I used to scratch it from the garment of the Messenger of Allah.”

"Eeewwwwww!"

Sunan Ibn Majah, Number 537:

It was narrated that Aishah said: “I often scraped it (semen) from the garment of the Messenger of Allah with my hand.”

"Eeewwwwww!"

Aisha was especially careful to wash the semen off Muhammad’s clothes when he was heading to the mosque for prayer.

Sahih al-Bukhari, Number 230:

Narrated Sulaiman bin Yasar: “I asked Aishah about the clothes soiled with semen. She replied, ‘I used to wash it off the clothes of Allah’s Messenger and he would go for the Salat (prayer) while water spots were still visible.’”

"Eeewwwwww!"

So, when Muhammad’s followers saw wet spots on his clothes at the mosque, they knew that he’d gotten covered with semen during his nightly sexcapades with nine women and girls, and that his child-bride, the “Mother of the Faithful,” had carefully washed away the semen, so that he would be pure before Allah.

Welcome to Islam, the only religion whose followers are so obsessed with their prophet’s bodily fluids, that they just can’t stop sharing stories about his child-bride dedicating her life to scrubbing his semen stains.

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