If your Luggage was Sensitive about its Weight

[H] Unbelievable. [F] Alright
Mary, can can we please just
let it go?

[H] I've never been so
humiliated in all my life.

[F] I know. I know, pet.

[H] Did ya hear
what he said to me?

[F] I did, yes, yes, yes.
[H] Yes.

[H] Overweight!

[H] In front of everyone, he
says it. [F] I, er, yes, I know,
I know.

[H] I have to lose three
kilograms! [F] Urgh, it's
ridiculous the whole thing.

[H] Do you think I'm
overweight, Gerry? [F] No no

[H] Yeah.
[F] No

[F] No.
[H] Yeah.

[F] No.

[H] Well, you're not the
smallest bag yourself, Gerry.
[F] I... I I didn't say
anything, Mary!

[H] Ya know I might not be like
the Samsonites you see in the
magazines, Gerry.

[F] Yeah well, I don't hardly
look at those magazines,
alright? [H] I'm a real bag,
okay?

[F] Yeah absolutely you are.
Yes. Yes. [H] This is what a
real bag looks like, Gerry.

[F] Oh, very, very much.
Very much. [H] Yeah, right.

[H] I'm 70 by 80 by 40.
[F] Mhmm.

[F] Yes. [H] Yes and do ya know
what? I'm proud of my handles.

[F] Oh 100% yeah, no, I I
couldn't agree with you more,
Mary,

ya know, you're expandable
and it's one of the great

[H] I'm starting to believe
there traces of narcotics now,
did you know that?

[F] Ooh! Yeah, well, that's what
they said they were looking for!

[H] Oh really, yeah? On
you, is it? [F] Mmhmm! Yes.

[H] Oh, come off it,
Gerry, come on now!

[F] What? [H] You're not
that exciting, love. Sorry.

[F] [Scoffs] Oh, really? Well,
you weren't saying that last
night, were ya?

[F] Laying on top of me in the
back of a taxi, so, I, y'know...

[F] That's all I'm saying!

[H] There'll be none of that
carry on now, okay? [F]
(Quietly) Alright, okay

[Laughter, whoops]

[F] Okay. Okay, you know what,
if you don't like this sketch..?

[F] We're just gonna do more

[Laughter]
[F] So Nyeah. Okay?

[F] That's how we roll at Foil
Arms and Hog. We just do extra.

[H] This sketch will be delayed
[F] Aww! Yesss!

[Cheers]

[F] Gimme some of that. Yeah.

[H] Hu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hu

Oh yeah. First-class joke.

[Hog giggling]
[F] [Laughs] Keep going!

[H] I don't have anything,
I just [F] Okay.

[H] Ah, Gerry.
[F] What?

[H] Your zipper.
[F] What?

[H] Your zipper's open, Gerry.
[F] Oh no, that's been like that
the whole bloody flight.

[H] Can't bring you anywhere.
[F] Ah will you get off my case,
ya old baggage.