WEBVTT

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[H] Unbelievable. [F] Alright
Mary, can can we please just
let it go?

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[H] I've never been so
humiliated in all my life.

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[F] I know. I know, pet.

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[H] Did ya hear
what he said to me?

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[F] I did, yes, yes, yes.
[H] Yes.

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[H] Overweight!

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[H] In front of everyone, he
says it. [F] I, er, yes, I know,
I know.

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[H] I have to lose three
kilograms! [F] Urgh, it's
ridiculous the whole thing.

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[H] Do you think I'm
overweight, Gerry? [F] No no

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[H] Yeah.
[F] No

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[F] No.
[H] Yeah.

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[F] No.

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[H] Well, you're not the
smallest bag yourself, Gerry.
[F] I... I I didn't say
anything, Mary!

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[H] Ya know I might not be like
the Samsonites you see in the
magazines, Gerry.

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[F] Yeah well, I don't hardly
look at those magazines,
alright? [H] I'm a real bag,
okay?

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[F] Yeah absolutely you are.
Yes. Yes. [H] This is what a
real bag looks like, Gerry.

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[F] Oh, very, very much.
Very much. [H] Yeah, right.

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[H] I'm 70 by 80 by 40.
[F] Mhmm.

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[F] Yes. [H] Yes and do ya know
what? I'm proud of my handles.

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[F] Oh 100% yeah, no, I I
couldn't agree with you more,
Mary,

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ya know, you're expandable
and it's one of the great

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[H] I'm starting to believe
there traces of narcotics now,
did you know that?

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[F] Ooh! Yeah, well, that's what
they said they were looking for!

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[H] Oh really, yeah? On
you, is it? [F] Mmhmm! Yes.

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[H] Oh, come off it,
Gerry, come on now!

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[F] What? [H] You're not
that exciting, love. Sorry.

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[F] [Scoffs] Oh, really? Well,
you weren't saying that last
night, were ya?

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[F] Laying on top of me in the
back of a taxi, so, I, y'know...

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[F] That's all I'm saying!

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[H] There'll be none of that
carry on now, okay? [F]
(Quietly) Alright, okay

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[Laughter, whoops]

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[F] Okay. Okay, you know what,
if you don't like this sketch..?

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[F] We're just gonna do more

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[Laughter]
[F] So Nyeah. Okay?

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[F] That's how we roll at Foil
Arms and Hog. We just do extra.

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[H] This sketch will be delayed
[F] Aww! Yesss!

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[Cheers]

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[F] Gimme some of that. Yeah.

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[H] Hu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hu

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Oh yeah. First-class joke.

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[Hog giggling]
[F] [Laughs] Keep going!

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[H] I don't have anything,
I just [F] Okay.

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[H] Ah, Gerry.
[F] What?

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[H] Your zipper.
[F] What?

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[H] Your zipper's open, Gerry.
[F] Oh no, that's been like that
the whole bloody flight.

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[H] Can't bring you anywhere.
[F] Ah will you get off my case,
ya old baggage.