F**k Everything (Jon Lajoie)

Yo

all the rappers claim to not give a fuck

step aside bitches

'cause I give the lowest amount of fuck humanly possible

what

I don't give a fuck

about anything, fuck everyone and fuck everything

what

I don't give a fuck

I literally don't give a fuck about anything

I don't give a fuck about motherfucking anything

people care about shit, I say fuck everything

fuck you, fuck me, fuck the sky, fuck trees, fuck the sun

I don't need heat or vitamin D

and fuck toasters, I don't need to cook my bread

and fuck coasters, I use a little plate instead

and fuck roosters, with your useless cook-a-doodle-do

we invented the alarm clocks, we not longer need you

don't give a fuck about chairs, I prefer to stand

and fuck air conditioners, I got a ceiling fan

and fuck the movie "The fan", starring Wesley Snipes

"Demolition Man" 's the only Snipe's movie I like

and fuck liking shit, I don't even like the stuff that I like

don't give a fuck about not liking all the shit I don't like

like tissues, fuck'em, I blow my nose on the couch

and fuck my nostrils and my sense of smell, I breathe through my mouth

Don't give a fuck about seeing, bitch, fuck my eyes

fuck visual perception, yo, I'd rather be blind

and fuck time, seconds are too short and minutes are a joke

and hours are way too long, they should be half an hour at most

and fuck coasts, don't give a fuck about where water meets land

and fuck boats, just 'cause you float you think you're so fucking bad

and fuck jokes, I don't need to be funny all the time

my dog has a tumor and he's probably gonna die, boy

I don't give a fuck

about anything, fuck everyone and fuck everything

what

I don't give a fuck

I literally don't give a fuck about anything

Walked into a coffee shop and ordered a cup

The girl said "small, medium, large?"

I said: "Bitch, I don't give a fuck"

She said: "I can't process your order if you don't pick a size"

I said: "Fine, I'll take a large, but I still don't give a fuck, alright?"

don't give a fuck about beverage size options motherfucker

and I don't give a fuck about liquids either

they're all wet and shit and tend to spill all over the place

like human semen when I get it all over my face

I'm not gay, I just don't give a fuck about straight sex

and fuck my dick I'll pee and cum out of my mouth instead

fuck biological functions, fuck the human body

I'd prefer the body of a bat and the head of a coyote

I'd call myself Bat-yodie and I'd fight crime at night

I know it's similar to Batman, but motherfuck copyright

I plagiarize all the time, I do it every day

'cause I'm on the right track baby, I was born this way

and fuck birth, entering the world of space and time is a bitch

searching for purpose in a random universe sucks dick

is it deterministic or am I free to choose my way?

did I choose to not give a fuck about icecube trays?

if I want ice I'll go to the fucking cornerstore and buy a bag

filling you up and waiting for the water to freeze is a motherfucking drag

you know what? Fuck the word "fuck", I don't need to use it

I'll replace it with the word "chainsaw" for this chorus

I don't give a chainsaw

about anything, chainsaw everyone and chainsaw everything

what

I don't give a chainsaw

I literally don't give a chainsaw 'bout anything

if there were a contest to see who doesn't give a fuck the most

I wouldn't win cause I don't give a fuck about winning, yo

I don't even give a fuck about not giving a fuck

so I do give a fuck .. wait, what?

I give a fuck

about everything, I love everyone and care about everything

what

I give a fuck

I literally care about any motherfuckin' thing