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Muppet Vision 3D Ultimate Tribute

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    ( brass and timpani play
    majestic fanfare )
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    ( add rest of orchestra )
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    ( low strings and brass
    play more intense Western-style theme )
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    ( add woodwinds )
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    ( string tremolo, drum roll )
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    ( electric, upbeat
    orchestral theme plays )
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    ( Dixieland-style interlude )
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    SAM THE EAGLE: Ladies and gentlemen,
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    We have an unexpected surprise.
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    -I have the great honor of introducing,
    -GONZO: Yes!
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    The one, the only...
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    Mr. Mickey Mouse!
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    ( Rizzo humming
    "Mickey Mouse Club March" )
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    Hello, hi there!
    Welcome to my park!
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    How ya doin'?
    Hello!
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    SAM: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
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    You are not Mickey Mouse,
    you are a rat!
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    RIZZO: Rat, schmat!
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    Besides, they're tourists!
    What do they know?
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    Will you get out of here?
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    Okay, but do I still get my 10 bucks?
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    -SAM: Get out, get out, get out!
    -GONZO: I've got Donald Duck back here!
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    -Will you get out?
    -Yes!
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    SAM: (sighs)
    I apologize.
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    Now where was I?
    Yes, safety instructions.
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    First, when entering the theatre,
    please move to as far to the
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    end of the row as possible.
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    Stopping in the middle is
    distinctly unpatriotic.
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    Second, do not attempt to walk
    while wearing your 3D glasses.
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    You may trip, and frankly, (THUD!)
    you will--
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    What are you doing?!
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    GONZO: I'm just showing how you can trip
    if you walk with your glasses on.
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    Will you stop this foolishness?
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    What foolishness would you like to see?
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    -Will you GET OUT OF HERE?! (sighs)
    -Yes.
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    SCOOTER: Excuse me.
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    -What now?!
    -We're almost ready.
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    Oh, fine, fine, fine.
    Okay, thank you, Scooter.
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    (clears throat) Now, the performers
    will all go in the theatre first,
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    and then you, the audience,
    will be admitted.
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    All right, performers,
    let us enter in an orderly fashion,
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    ( bugle blows charge )
    and provide an example-- YAAAAAH!!!
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    ( loud clamoring and running )
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    Will somebody please take over?
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    ( slide whistle down, then thud )
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    ( grand synthesized fanfare )
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    -GONZO: Nice outfit.
    -BEAN: (dazed) Thanks.
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    Scooter, Scooter! There's a
    telephone call for you! It's urgent!
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    Oh, thanks!
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    I got him--
    We don't have a telephone!
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    ( laughing )
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    And now, ladies and gentlemen,
    while you are a captive audience...
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    a display of TREMENDOUS
    tap dancing talent,
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    with the added cultural
    component of...
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    ( trumpet plays triumphant note,
    cartoon whistles )
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    ...a pot of flowers
    balanced on my head.
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    Hit it, Rusty!
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    ( piano plays
    "Tea For Two" )
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    ( rhythmic tapping )
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    ALL THREE GONZOS: Yeah!
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    ( crash )
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    You dropped your pot!
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    Oh! ♪ Bukkaw! Bukkaw! Bukkaw! ♪
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    Pick it up!
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    ( ratchet )
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    ( piano and tapping continue )
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    -Got it?
    -Yeah!
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    ( piano and tapping continue )
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    ( music ends )
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    -Thank you!
    -You're welcome!
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    -STATLER: Hey, Waldorf?
    What are we gonna see in here anyway?
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    WALDORF:
    It's one of those 3D movies.
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    Put on your glasses, Statler.
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    Hey, look!
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    Look at the guy in the Goofy mask!
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    -WALDORF: That's not a mask.
    -STATLER: Ooh. Sorry, lady!
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    ( both laugh heartily )
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    CM:
    Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
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    We ask that you please refrain
    from flash photography.
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    Go ahead, put on your
    viewing glasses
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    as Kodak proudly presents
    "Jim Henson's Muppet*Vision 3D."
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    ( quacking, orchestra tuning )
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    WALDORF:
    Hey look, an orchestra of penguins!
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    STATLER:
    Probably took the job for the "halibut!"
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    ( both laugh heartily )
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    ( orchestra plays grand overture )
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    ( strings and saxes play
    grandiose theme )
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    ( siren whistle blows,
    brass play loud fanfare )
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    ( segues into new version of
    "Muppet Show" theme song )
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    ( Gonzo hums )
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    KERMIT:
    Gonzo. Gonzo?
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    GONZO: WHAT?!
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    Oh. ( laughs )
    Uh, sorry, boss.
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    KERMIT: Hi-ho, Kermit the Frog here.
    And welcome to "Muppet*Vision 3D."
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    Now, let me show you around
    our research center.
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    You see, here in this modern,
    high-tech facility--
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    ( crash, Kermit screams )
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    ZOOT: Hey! Careful!
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    ( nervous stammer )
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    Uh, here in this modern,
    high-tech facility
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    we have perfected
    Muppet*Vision 3D,
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    a new film process
    which we're about to demonstrate to you.
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    -( metal clanking, humming )
    -Now, working the projector
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    is an old friend of ours,
    the Swedish Chef.
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    Chef, everything okay?
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    CHEF ( babbling ):
    Hey, der hoppen-hoppen,
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    der machinen is goin
    der fløømy-fløømy.
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    Exactly. And our demonstration
    includes a little song from Miss Piggy.
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    ( squawking,
    Piggy clears throat )
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    PIGGY:
    Little?!
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    Did I say little?
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    I meant to say it's a
    huge, showstopping
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    major song from Miss Piggy?
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    That's more like it!
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    Good. And we've also got a
    big musical finale
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    from Sam Eagle.
    Sam, what's it about?
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    SAM: It's called "A Salute to All Nations,
    but mostly America."
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    Great.
    So it's gonna be a swell demonstration,
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    And at no time will we be stooping
    to any cheap 3D tricks.
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    FOZZIE: Did you say
    cheap 3D tricks?
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    KERMIT: Uh...
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    ( horn blows )
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    FOZZIE: Ahhh!
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    Oh, and here's something
    I wanted to "spring" on you...
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    ( pop, cartoon whistles )
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    Ahhh!
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    KERMIT: Um...
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    STATLER: Uh, Waldorf,
    it's that dumb bear again!
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    WALDORF: Yeah.
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    Hey, bear,
    you're not even funny in 3D!
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    ( both laugh )
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    FOZZIE: Oh no!
    Not you guys!
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    How did you get here?
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    WALDORF: We entered a contest.
    STATLER: Yeah, we lost!
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    ( Statler and Waldorf laugh )
    FOZZIE: Oh, yeah?
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    Well, my new 3D act's
    gonna shower you all with humor!
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    ( liquid trickling )
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    Ahhh!
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    ( penguins groan in disgust )
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    Wocka-wocka!
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    STATLER: He's trying to drown us!
    What kind of act is that?
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    WALDORF: An act of mercy!
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    ( both laugh,
    penguins quack )
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    KERMIT: Listen,
    better luck next time, Fozzie. Okay?
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    And now, if you'll come this way,
    I can show you our secret laboratory.
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    You see, we've invited
    distinguished scientists
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    from all over the world
    to come and work here.
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    Unfortunately,
    none of them showed up.
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    So instead, I'd like to introduce you
    to the guys who invented Muppet*Vision,
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    and they can show you some of their--
    ( electricity crackles )
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    ( screams )
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    Right now, I'd like to turn
    you over to
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    Dr. Bunsen Honeydew
    and his assistant, Beaker.
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    ( Beaker meeps )
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    Well, thank you, Mr. Kermit.
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    Today, let's look at the advancements
    we've been working on for Muppet*Vision.
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    Beaker? Would you turn on the machine?
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    ( Beaker meeps unintelligibly )
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    ( handle creaks,
    thud sound )
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    ( repeats )
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    ( machinery chugging and thudding )
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    ( Beaker screams )
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    We at Muppet Labs
    have been able to grab hold of the future.
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    The wheels of progress turn swiftly here,
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    -( metal clanking )
    -as we strike upon ways to bring science
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    safely to you.
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    This user-friendly machine will now
    generate the
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    -( steam hissing )
    -first living 3D effect
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    just by flicking a simple switch.
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    ( electricity crackling )
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    BEAKER: (amazed)
    Eeeeeeee!
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    WALDO C. GRAPHIC:
    I'm Waldo, the spirit of 3D!
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    ( band plays fanfare )
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    Thank you, Beaker.
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    Cute outfit! Watch this!
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    ( pops )
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    Don't you just hate it
    when your nose runs?
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    ( goofy laugh )
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    You know, all these other people
    think I'm talking to them,
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    but I'm really just talkin' to you!
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    ( goofy laugh )
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    Well, I think that'll be
    just enough of Waldo, Beaker.
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    You may deactivate him.
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    What?! What are you--
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    ( electricity crackles )
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    Oh, dear!
    He won't deactivate!
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    Boing! Boing!
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    Ladies and gentlemen,
    there's nothing to worry about.
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    -But please keep your heads down!
    -Zonk!
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    ♪ I'm bouncing on people's heads! ♪
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    Beaker! Beaker!
    Activate the Inflate-O-Matic!
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    The-- why don't you--
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    ( gas inflates )
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    Hurry, Beaker, Hurry!
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    ( small explosion )
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    Great! Now I can start
    my own football team!
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    ( goofy laughter )
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    Beaker! We'll have to
    try the VacuuMuppet!
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    ( frightened meeps )
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    Yes!
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    ( vacuum cleaner running )
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    Ladies and gentlemen, for your own safety,
    please grasp your armrests firmly!
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    ( power increases )
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    ( sucking stops )
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    Hey! I'm free!
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    ( laughs )
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    ( whistles )
    Taxi!
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    Alright! Now I'm getting
    out of this place!
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    ( tires screeching )
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    ( horn honking )
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    Uh, this way, folks.
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    I'm sorry, but Muppet Labs
    seems to have been temporarily...
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    sucked up. But...
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    ( high-pitched, pulsing
    electronic motor )
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    Now what is that?
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    Hey, Kermit!
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    See, it's my new remote-controlled
    banana cream pie!
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    -Huh? Huh?
    -Yeah.
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    Hey, Kermit!
    Watch this!
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    -What?
    -( motor dies )
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    Uh-oh.
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    Eeeew!
    Fozzie, that's terrible.
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    You're right.
    Needs more sugar.
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    ( laughs )
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    And now, ladies and gentlemen,
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    for the first musical portion
    of our demonstration,
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    we have Miss Piggy
    in a wonderful 3D number.
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    Uh, that's you, penguins.
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    ( penguins exclaiming,
    florid music begins )
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    Oh, doesn't that look beautiful?
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    Yeah.
    Too bad they're gonna spoil it with a pig.
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    ( both chuckle softly,
    then shush each other )
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    PIGGY:
    ♪ La la la la la la... ♪
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    ♪ Sun shining bright above you ♪
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    ♪ Soft breezes seem to
    whisper, "I love you" ♪
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    -( Bean humming )
    -♪ Birds singing in the sycamore tree ♪
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    ♪ Dream a little dream of me... ♪
    ( grunts )
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    ( splash )
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    ( clears throat )
    ♪ Look in my eyes and kiss me ♪
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    ( buzzing )
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    ♪ Just hold me tight
    and tell me you miss me ♪
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    ( violin playing buzzing solo )
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    ♪ While I'm alone
    and blue as can be ♪
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    ( growling angrily ):
    ♪ Dream a little dream of me ♪
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    -( bending noise )
    -Awww!
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    ♪ No troubles as life bubbles on, dear ♪
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    ♪ Still craving your kiss... ♪
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    -All right, that's it!
    -( violin plays smooth solo)
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    Knock it off, penguin!
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    But it was going so well!
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    I will not work with that-- that rabbit!
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    BEAN: But I was just doing 3D!
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    Guess I won't be needing this.
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    What's that?
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    It was for the big
    waterskiing finale.
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    -What?
    -( motor revving, Piggy screaming )
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    ( Bean chuckling )
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    Bean Bunny, what are you doing?!
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    -What do you mean?
    -You are ruining this film!
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    I was just trying to help!
    I didn't mean anything!
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    Get out! Get out!
    Go away! Go away!!
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    ( tires screeching )
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    WALDO: Does anybody know the
    way out of this film?
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    Hey, you got a map down there?
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    You can come with me if you'd like.
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    I just got fired and I'm running away.
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    Terrific!
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    -Let's go!
    -Okay.
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    GONZO: Hey, Bean, what's up?
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    BEAN: I'm going away.
    Forever.
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    GONZO: Oh, great!
    Could you get me a sandwich?
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    Would any of you people like anything?
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    I mean, since he's going out,
    he could-- FOREVER?!
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    Bean? Bean?
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    Kermit? Kermit!
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    ( Sweetums humming )
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    FOZZIE: Hey, Sweetums!
    That's a great effect!
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    -GONZO: Hey, Fozzie, Kermit!
    -KERMIT: What is it?
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    GONZO: Bean Bunny ran away!
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    -Oh, no! -Yes!
    -Good riddance!
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    -We gotta find him!
    -I know!
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    Everybody spread out and look for Bean!
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    I'll go this way.
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    Ladies and gentlemen, we'll
    continue the show in just a moment,
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    but in the meantime,
    if you see a rabbit, holler.
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    VARIOUS MUPPETS:
    Bean? Oh Bean?
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    SWEETUMS:
    Oh, bunny! Where are ya?
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    Bunnyyyy!!!
    -Where are you Bean?
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    Bunnnyyyy!!!
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    FOZZIE:
    Here, Beany Beany Beany!
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    KERMIT: Oh, Bean?
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    SWEETUMS:
    Bunnnyyyyyyyyyyy!!!
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    WALDORF
    Hey, what’s all the commotion about?
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    SWEETUMS
    Bunny ran away!
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    WALDORF:
    Well you know what that makes him?
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    STATLER AND WALDORF: Smarter than us!
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    SWEETUMS
    Hey, anybody seen a bunny?
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    AUDIENCE MEMBER
    I see one!
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    SWEETUMS: I don’t see a bunny.
    AUDIENCE MEMBER: Turn around!
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    SWEETUMS: Where?
    AUDIENCE MEMBER: There!
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    SWEETUMS: Where?
    VARIOUS AUDIENCE MEMBERS: Look up there!
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    SWEETUMS:
    Aw, nothin’ up there but a bunny.
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    A bunny?! Bean!
    RANDOM VOICE: Bean??
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    BEAN BUNNY: Hi Sweetums.
    SWEETUMS: Hey, Kermit, look!
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    KERMIT:
    What?
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    ( gasps )
    Bean! What are you doing out there?
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    BEAN
    I’m runnin’ away.
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    Nobody would let me help with the movie.
    ( sobs )
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    KERMIT, GONZO, AND FOZZIE
    Awwww…
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    STATLER: This is a very moving moment.
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    STATLER: This is a very moving moment.
    WALDORF: Yeah, I wish they’d move it to Pittsburgh.
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    WALDO:
    Hey Bean!
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    What are we doing stickin’ around here?
    Let's burn rubber!
  • 14:13 - 14:15
    ( tires screeching )
  • 14:15 - 14:18
    -FOZZIE: Who’s that?
    -BEAN: He's Waldo, my 3D friend.
  • 14:18 - 14:20
    And we're both leaving the movie.
    WALDO: Yeah!
  • 14:21 - 14:22
    GONZO
    Bu-bu-but Bean —
  • 14:22 - 14:24
    if you leave, you’ll miss all the fireworks!
  • 14:24 - 14:25
    ( noises of agreement )
  • 14:25 - 14:27
    WALDO
    Fireworks? Whoa!
  • 14:27 - 14:28
    BEAN
    Okay, I’ll stay…
  • 14:28 - 14:29
    BEAN
    Okay, I'll stay... but I wanna help.
  • 14:29 - 14:31
    KERMIT: Gee, is there anything
    Bean can do in the final number?
  • 14:32 - 14:34
    FOZZIE
    Oh, gosh, maybe — maybe —
  • 14:34 - 14:37
    maybe Bean could set off the fireworks!
  • 14:37 - 14:39
    GONZO: Oh, that’s cool!
    BEAN: That sounds great!
  • 14:39 - 14:40
    WALDO:
    Yeah, and I’ll stay and help!
  • 14:40 - 14:43
    Hoo hoo hoo! I love fireworks.
  • 14:43 - 14:45
    ( laughs excitedly )
  • 14:45 - 14:47
    KERMIT
    Well, okay…
  • 14:47 - 14:49
    Sam! Are you about ready?
  • 14:49 - 14:51
    SAM: Yes, it’s a
    glorious three-hour finale.
  • 14:51 - 14:53
    -KERMIT: You got a minute and a half!
    -( Sam gasps )
  • 14:53 - 14:55
    KERMIT:
    Okay, everybody, get ready!
  • 14:56 - 14:57
    ( all clamor )
  • 14:57 - 14:59
    KERMIT: Ladies and gentlemen,
    the Muppets proudly present
  • 14:59 - 15:01
    the final demonstration
    of Muppet*Vision 3D!
  • 15:02 - 15:06
    ( drums play
    upbeat march cadence )
  • 15:13 - 15:18
    ( trumpets play
    energetic fanfare )
  • 15:22 - 15:25
    ( band plays
    "La Marsellaise" )
  • 15:28 - 15:30
    ( tuba deflates, crash )
  • 15:30 - 15:31
    WALDO:
    Oops! Uh-oh!
  • 15:31 - 15:33
    TUBA PLAYER
    Where am I?
  • 15:33 - 15:34
    ( clangs )
  • 15:34 - 15:35
    Coming through!
    KIDS: ♪ It's a small world after all... ♪
  • 15:36 - 15:37
    SAM: What are you doing?
    Get back into place!
  • 15:37 - 15:39
    TUBA PLAYER
    Whaa, me?!
  • 15:39 - 15:41
    ( cannons fire;
    orchestra plays 1812 Overture )
  • 15:41 - 15:42
    TUBA PLAYER
    Where's the tuba section??
  • 15:42 - 15:44
    ( cannons fire, screams )
  • 15:44 - 15:46
    Oh, boy...
    ( cannons fire )
  • 15:47 - 15:48
    Whoa! Is it over yet?
  • 15:48 - 15:51
    ( band plays
    "Stars and Stripes Forever" )
  • 15:51 - 15:54
    ( clanging ):
    Can we start again?
  • 15:54 - 15:56
    Oof, sorry!
  • 15:56 - 15:58
    ( "1812 Overture" resumes )
  • 15:58 - 16:00
    SAM:
    Bean, the fireworks!
  • 16:00 - 16:01
    BEAN:
    Rockets, away!
  • 16:02 - 16:06
    ( "Stars and Stripes Forever"
    resumes )
  • 16:06 - 16:10
    WALDO: Wow! Whee!
    ( fireworks detonate underneath music )
  • 16:12 - 16:15
    STATLER
    Ooh! Ahh! Oh!
  • 16:16 - 16:17
    WALDORF
    Enjoying the fireworks?
  • 16:18 - 16:20
    STATLER
    No, your chair’s on my foot!
  • 16:20 - 16:21
    WALDORF
    Ooh, sorry…
  • 16:26 - 16:29
    ( more crashes )
  • 16:30 - 16:33
    ( other musical themes mix with
    "Stars and Stripes Forever" )
  • 16:33 - 16:35
    WALDO ( laughing ):
    Watch this!
  • 16:36 - 16:39
    ( Miss Piggy screams )
  • 16:39 - 16:41
    ( huge explosion,
    music grinds to a halt )
  • 16:43 - 16:46
    SWEETUMS
    Stop the movie! Stop the movie, Chef!
  • 16:46 - 16:50
    Hey, Chef, can’t ya hear me?
    Stop the projector!
  • 16:51 - 16:53
    MISS PIGGY
    You’ll hear from my lawyer!
  • 16:54 - 16:55
    SWEETUMS
    I’ll save ya, penguins!
  • 16:56 - 16:58
    ( water splashes,
    crate rises )
  • 16:59 - 17:01
    Take it easy! I’m sorry!
  • 17:01 - 17:03
    Oh, no, wait! Don’t shoot!
  • 17:03 - 17:05
    Duck, everybody, duck!
  • 17:05 - 17:07
    ( Waldo quacks )
    No, not you — them!
  • 17:08 - 17:10
    Look out!
    ( cannon fires )
  • 17:10 - 17:11
    ( projectile flies )
  • 17:12 - 17:13
    ( loud thud )
  • 17:13 - 17:17
    SWEDISH CHEF ( babbling ):
    Hey der stüpid cråzy birdsy!
  • 17:17 - 17:19
    ( soundtrack winds down )
  • 17:19 - 17:22
    WALDO:
    At last, I’m out of this silly film!
  • 17:23 - 17:25
    ( Swedish babble,
    gunfire )
  • 17:25 - 17:27
    WALDO: Hey, what are you
    shootin’ at me for? It was the penguins!
  • 17:27 - 17:29
    ( more gunfire )
    Hey, watch it, will ya?!
  • 17:29 - 17:30
    ( gunfire,
    cloth tears )
  • 17:30 - 17:32
    ( Swedish Chef babbles )
  • 17:32 - 17:34
    WALDO ( taunts ):
    Na-na-na-na-na-na!
  • 17:34 - 17:36
    You couldn't hit me with a...
  • 17:37 - 17:38
    CANNON?!
  • 17:39 - 17:41
    Hey, everybody!
    He’s got a cannon!!
  • 17:41 - 17:42
    ( cannon fires )
  • 17:43 - 17:46
    ( humongous explosion,
    objects falling )
  • 17:49 - 17:50
    SWEETUMS:
    WOW!!!
  • 17:50 - 17:52
    Everyone okay in here?
  • 17:53 - 17:55
    STATLER AND WALDORF
    We surrender! We surrender!
  • 17:56 - 17:58
    SWEETUMS:
    What an explosion!
  • 17:58 - 18:01
    KERMIT:
    Uh — well, uh, ladies and gentlemen,
  • 18:01 - 18:05
    I’d like to apologize for our "slight",
    uh, technical difficulties.
  • 18:05 - 18:08
    But I do wish to assure you
    that no one was hurt
  • 18:08 - 18:11
    and, uh, this theatre suffered
    only... minor damage.
  • 18:11 - 18:14
    So… thank you very much for coming
    to see this demonstration
  • 18:14 - 18:17
    of Muppet*Vision technology,
    and enjoy the rest of your stay,
  • 18:18 - 18:19
    and come see us again sometime!
  • 18:20 - 18:22
    ( music ends )
  • 18:22 - 18:24
    WALDO:
    ( giddy laughter )
  • 18:25 - 18:28
    ( in Mickey Mouse's voice ):
    They’ll never recognize me now!
  • 18:28 - 18:30
    Forward! Ha!
  • 18:31 - 18:33
    ( VacuuMuppet running )
  • 18:38 - 18:41
    BEAN:
    Huh, what a cute ending!
  • 18:41 - 18:43
    ( laughter )
  • 18:43 - 18:44
    STATLER
    Well, what do you think?
  • 18:45 - 18:48
    WALDORF: Do we have time to go to the
    bathroom before the next show?
  • 18:48 - 18:50
    STATLER:
    We can’t, you old fool!
  • 18:50 - 18:51
    We're bolted to the seats!
  • 18:51 - 18:53
    ( hearty laughter )
  • 18:54 - 18:57
    ( orchestra plays
    "The Muppet Show" theme )
  • 18:59 - 19:03
    Captioned by Josh
Title:
Muppet Vision 3D Ultimate Tribute
Description:
more » « less
Video Language:
English
Duration:
19:24

English subtitles

Revisions

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