Briefcase Joe: Eminem Teaches Jimmy Kimmel to Rap

[Eminem singing]

Thanks for meeting with me.

I appreciate it.

You know, my goals to become a raper.

And I don't know...

Are you serious?

Yeah, I am serious.

I'm sick of doing the show,

to be honest with you.

Really sick of it.

Okay. Well,

... for me, when I'm doing my career is

I like to draw like things from my past.

You know what I mean? -Yeah

Taking something that upset you as a child.

Or something like that.

Like emotional pain.

Yeah! Like emotional pain, like things to

you know...

Oh! Alright.

Umm, when I was in High School,

I was manager of the shoe department

at the clothing store.

And I never really felt appreciated.

So that could be something.

That, that, that's a start.

That's a start. You know...

You know...

What the worst thing that happened
to me I think as a kid is?

It was my first day
at Junior High School.

And my dad got a new briefcase.

And so its old briefcase was sitting in the kitchen.

And my mom said I have a good idea.

You should put your books in the briefcase.

And the first minute of my first day of Junior High School,

I walked into the school cafeteria

and with my briefcase,

and these big kids screamed at me:

Hey, Briefcase Joe!

Well, you mean you could use that

as your rap name: The Briefcase Joe.

You’re saying takes like my weakness

and turn it into a...

Yeah.

Strength. -Yeah.

That you turn your negatives into a positive.

I like that. I could do that.

I mean, you should be writing all

these things down honestly man.

Yeah, let’s put them on a paper with pens.

Are you trying to think of things that

rhyme with Joe?

Because it’s Briefcase Joe.

And I was thinking like the word

like go rhymes with Joe.

-Right.

Like Moe, like somebody’s name was Moe.

-Right.

Doe, uh that’s good, like uh…

They call me Briefcase Joe.

I gotta body made of pizza doe, you know…

Wait, you got a body made of pizza doe?

Pizza doe, yeah.

I got testicles.

Oh, I do have those.

-Yeah!

I have two of them.

I’m like a scamo'd.

I go to Mexico with my vegetable, testicles.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, there you go.

I’ve got a guard and hoes.

‘Cause that’s clever because it seems

I have prostitutes living in my garden.

Ummm well...

It’s good enough. It’s good enough.

But you’re not in a gang with those evils.

I am in a gang, I am in a gang.

I’m in a couple of gangs right now.

Reach down, deep inside you.

And like always make your life seem

worse than it actually is.

Worse?

-Yeah.

You could take like little truths and

just stretching them as far as you can.

You know what I mean?

Yeah. So I would I should say

maybe is my mother chop me up

and put me inside of the briefcase

and then mailed me into school.

Yes, exactly.

Okay. Good.

So, I’m in the briefcase like a hungry man dinner.

I was thinner back then.

That’s why I fitted in it.

My mom spitted in it.

And sealed it up and closed it.

Don’t lock it mom.

Octomom...

Octomom!

-Octomom!

-Yeah!

Yeah.

No, no.

She doesn’t have anything

to do with this, actually.

It’s not good enough I could try like…

If you don’t like it…

It’s not like it’s not good enough.

Know what I’m saying?

It’s just that I am mad at her.

Okay.

You know...

-I’m mad at you.

I’m mad at you.

-Yeah, I’m mad at you.

Good. I'm mad at you.

Know what I’m saying?

Yeah.

I’m feeling it.

You know what I’m saying…

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Know what I’m saying?

Definitively.

It’s like you know what I’m saying?

Maybe something like this.

Maybe you could say something like this:

Yo, here I go, they call me Briefcase Joe.

I'm flippin' it, skippin' it

Rippin' it, dippin' it

Hit 'em with venom in 'em

I gave them an enema

Then hit 'em up

Right in front of the cinema

Skin them alive

Rocking the party

As soon as the women arrive

Then Imma drive a stake in their heart

And squirt lemon in their eyes

Like something like that.

You know what I mean?

Like just kind of simple.

[Laughs]

Yeah...

[Music playing]

Alright.

So remember, just you know,

kind of rock with it.

You know, just,

your natural rhythm just let it,

let it, you know, flow free.

Yeah, okay.

Okay, good.

[Music playing]

Yeah.

This one is going out for all my homies in Compton.

You know what I’m saying?

Hey! hey.

Do you know anybody?

- Umm?

Do you know anybody?

Compton?

From Compton?

No, I don’t know anyone.

Then you don’t wanna say that then.

Oh okay. Alright, let me try it again.

[Music playing]

Yo, this one is going to all my homies in Sherman Oaks.

I know people out there…

Hang on one second.

Yeah.

Ohh

Try that...

Ohhh!

Alright.

Your inspiration.

Thank you!

Yeah this is going out

To those two jerks

From Junior High School

Who called me Briefcase Joe

And guess what?

Now It's come to past that

It's turned out to be a good thing for me

- Yeah, tell 'em

Yo here I go

They call me Briefcase Joe

I write my lyrics down

For a keepsake, yo

On the microphone

Here the beats they go

You could be the rapper

I'm the DJ, yo

My lyrics just erupt like a volcano

Everywhere I walk

When I talk they know

I'm flippin' it, dippin' it

Trippin' it, rippin' it

Hit 'em with venom in 'em

I gave them an enema

Then hit 'em up

Right in front of the cinema

Skin them alive

... ... ...

As soon as the women arrive

I am driving a stake in their heart (yeah)

And squirt (yeah)

Lemon in their eyes

You know what I'm saying?

Chicka, chicka, chicka, chicka

Briefcase Joe

They called him, they called him

They called him Briefcase Joe

Chicka, chicka

His name is

His name is Briefcase Joe

He don't carry that briefcase to the school no more

Chicka

My testicles are vegetables

They're going to Mexico

They're on a jet-jetroll, yo

Chicka, chicka, chicka, chicka

Briefcase Joe

They called him, they called him

They called him Briefcase Joe

Chicka, chicka

His name is

His name is Briefcase Joe

He don't carry that briefcase to the school no more

Chicka

Eminem, ladies and gentleman

Briefcase Joe. Some kind of name you probably haven't heard.

I love listening to myself.

I really love it.

It’s crazy! You sound good man.

Thank you, thank you.

You got it, Briefcase Joe is cancel because to your briefcase Eminem.

You are done son. Goodbye.

Yo Briefcase Joe...

Hey! That’s in the water.

It’s my briefcase. Hey! Hey! Wait up!