-
Hello?
-
Yes?
-
What?
-
Sir, kindly switch off your mobile phone.
-
Just one sec, please.
-
Excuse me.
-
Excuse me...
-
Sir, please sit down.
-
Captain, there's a medical emergency.
-
A passenger has just
fallen down in the aisle.
-
Delhi, Air lndia 101 returning
due to medical emergency.
-
Excuse me, sir.
-
Hold on!
-
l'm fine now, thanks.
Carry on, please.
-
Wait.
-
- Get the car!
- Mr. Dhillon?
-
Want the name tattooed?
Get the car.
-
To the hotel, sir?
-
Yes, yes, but via Vasant Vihar.
-
Step on the gas, dude!
-
Yeah, Farhan?
-
Get ready. l'll pick you up
in five minutes.
-
What happened?
-
Chatur called. Remember him?
-
The 'Silencer'?
-
Yeah.
-
He said Rancho is coming.
-
What?
-
He said - Come to the campus at 8.
On the tank.
-
Oh shucks!
-
Hurry!
-
Ok.
-
Honey, l'll be back soon.
Oh, shoes.
-
We found our buddy.
-
What?
-
Tell me later - bye.
-
You forgot your pants.
-
Now to the hotel sir?
-
Yes, but via Imperial College of Engineering.
-
Ok sir.
-
Forgot my socks.
-
More than just your socks...
-
your pants.
-
Oh no.
-
Now get my brother
from the airport
-
Same last name - Dhillon
-
This is Dhillon.
Where's my cab? On the runway?
-
Hey Rancho
-
Hey Chatur, where's Rancho?
-
Rancho
-
Where's Rancho?
-
Welcome, idiots
-
Some 'madeira' for you?
-
The same rum you
guzzled those days.
-
Have a drink.
-
Where is Rancho?
-
Patience. First look at this
-
Don't eye my wife. Check out
the mansion behind, idiots
-
$ 3.5 million
-
Swimming pool - heated!
-
Living room - maple wood flooring
-
My new Lamborghini 6496 cc -
-
very fast.
-
Why're you showing us all this?
-
Forgot?
-
What's this?
-
'5th September'. Today's date
-
l challenge you
-
We'll meet again after ten years
-
Same day. Same place
-
We'll see who's more successful
-
Have the balls? C'mon, bet!
-
Remember? l'd challenged
that idiot right here
-
l kept my promise. l'm back
-
Jackass! l aborted a flight,
he forgot his pants
-
all to meet Rancho
-
5 years we've searched.
Don't know if he's alive
-
and you think he'll show up
for your silly bet
-
l know he won't show up
-
You gonna break his jaw
or should l
-
So why'd you call us here?
-
To meet Rancho.
-
Come and see where l've reached
and where he rots
-
So you know where Rancho is?
-
Yes.
-
Where?
-
He is in Shimla.
-
Free as the wind was he
-
Like a soaring kite was he
-
Where did he go... let's find him
-
Free as the wind was he
-
Like a soaring kite was he
-
Where did he go... let's find him
-
We were led by the path we took
-
While he carved a path of his own
-
Stumbling, rising, carefree walked he
-
We fretted about the morrow
-
He simply reveled in today
-
Living each moment to the fullest
-
Where did he come from...
-
He who touched our
hearts and vanished...
-
Where did he go... let's find him
-
ln scorching Sun,
he was like a patch of shade...
-
ln an endless desert, like an oasis...
-
On a bruised heart,
like soothing balm was he
-
Afraid, we stayed confined in the well
-
Fearless, he frolicked in the river
-
Never hesitating to swim
against the tide
-
He wandered lonesome as a cloud
-
... Yet he was our dearest friend
-
Where did he go... let's find him
-
Rancho
-
Ranchoddas Shamaldas Chanchad
-
He was as unique as his name
-
From birth we were taught -
Life is a race
-
Run fast or you'll be trampled
-
Even to be born, one had to race
300 million sperms
-
1978. l was born at 5.15 pm
-
At 5.16, my father announced
-
My son will be an engineer.
- Farhan Qureshi. B.Tech. Engineer
-
And my fate was sealed
-
What l wanted to be... no one asked
-
Raju Rastogi...
Ranchoddas Chanchad
-
Room number?
-
D-26
-
C'mon
-
l'm Man Mohan. MM
-
These engineers call me
Millimeter
-
For eggs, bread, milk, laundry
-
finishing journals,
copying assignments
-
l'm your guy. Fixed rates.
No bargaining
-
Hey wait, hold this
-
Meet Kilobyte, Megabyte
and their mother Gigabyte
-
Go ahead, click -
this family doesn't bite.
-
Check him out...
another God-fearing soul.
-
- Hi. Farhan Qureshi.
- l'm Raju Rastogi.
-
Don't worry.
-
a few days here and
he'll lose faith in God.
-
Then naked babes will be
on the wall, and he'll say -
-
"Oh God, give me one chance with her"
-
Get out of here.
-
Four bucks. Two per bag.
-
Here's five. Keep the change.
-
Thanks boss. For your tip,
here's one in return -
-
Wear your best underwear tonight.
-
Why?
-
Your Majesty, thou art great
-
Accept this humble offering
-
Ha... here's a He-Man
-
What a pretty piece.
Cute and compact
-
A campus tradition - On Day 1...
-
Freshmen must pay
their respects to Seniors
-
in their underwear.
-
This is when we first saw Rancho
-
Spiderman
-
Batman
-
Fresh meat
-
Greetings.
Drop your pants, get stamped
-
Name?
-
'Ranchoddas Shamaldas Chanchad'
-
What a mouthful!
Needs serious cramming
-
Come on - pants off
-
Being stubborn?
-
Wet pants not good, kiddo.
Take them off
-
- Aall izz well.
- What's that?
-
Aall izz well.
-
What did he say?
-
Someone tell him.
Hey James Bond.
-
Make him understand.
-
Take off your pants or
they are going to piss on you.
-
Hey 007!
Ashamed to speak Hindi?
-
Sorry sir, l was born in Uganda,
studied in Pondicherry
-
so little slow in Hindi
-
So explain slowly. No hurry
-
Feeling cold?
-
Pray undress
-
or he'll do
'urine-expulsion' on you
-
Calls pissing 'urine-expulsion'!
-
A true linguist
in the land of engineers!
-
Hey, come out of there
-
Come out or...
-
or l'll do 'urine-expulsion'
on your door
-
lf you aren't out by
the count of ten
-
l'll do 'urine-expulsion'
on your door all semester
-
One
-
Two
-
Three
-
Four
-
Five
-
Six
-
Seven
-
Eight
-
Nine
-
Ten
-
Salt water is a great conductor
of electricity. 8th Grade Physics
-
We had studied it.
He applied it
-
Dr. Viru Sahastrabuddhe
was the Director of lCE
-
Students called him Virus,
computer Virus
-
Virus on the way, with eggs
-
Freshmen are summoned.
Come quickly
-
Virus was the most competitive
man we had ever seen
-
He couldn't bear anyone
getting ahead of him
-
To save time,
his shirts had Velcro
-
and his ties had hooks
-
He'd trained his mind to write
with both hands simultaneously
-
Everyday at 2 pm he took a
71/2 minute power nap
-
with an opera as lullaby
-
Govind, his valet, had instructions
-
to carry out all unproductive tasks
such as shaving, nail-cutting etc
-
What is this?
- Sir, nest
-
Whose?
- A koel bird's nest, sir
-
Wrong
-
A koel bird never makes
her own nest
-
She lays her eggs in
other nests
-
And when they hatch,
what do they do?
-
They push the other eggs
out of the nest
-
Competition over
-
Their life begins with murder.
That's nature
-
Compete or die
-
You also are like the koel birds
-
And these are the eggs
you smashed to get into lCE
-
Don't forget, lCE gets
400,000 applications a year
-
and only 200 are selected - You!
-
And these? Finished.
Broken eggs
-
My son... he tried for three years
-
Rejected. Every time
-
Remember, life is a race
-
If you don't run fast,
you'll get trampled
-
Let me tell you a
very interesting story
-
This is an astronaut pen
-
Fountain pens and ballpoint pens
don't work in outer space
-
So scientists spent
millions to invent this pen
-
It can write at any angle, in any
temperature, in zero gravity
-
One day, when I was a student
-
the Director of our institute
called me
-
He said, 'Viru Sahastrabuddhe.'
I said, 'Yes sir'
-
'Come here!'
I got scared
-
He showed me this pen
-
He said, 'This is a
symbol of excellence'
-
'I give it to you'
-
'When you come across an
extraordinary student like yourself
-
...pass it onto him'
-
For 32 years, I've been
waiting for that student
-
But no luck
-
Anyone here, who'll strive
to win this pen?
-
Good.
Put your hands down
-
Shall I post it on the notice board?
Hands down
-
One question, sir
-
Sir, if pens didn't work
in outer space
-
why didn't the astronauts
use a pencil?
-
They'd have saved millions
-
I will get back to you on this
-
He zaps a Senior's privates
at night
-
fingers the Director in the day.
Best avoid him
-
You deflated Virus's erection
-
Your Majesty, thou art great.
Accept this humble offering
-
Buzz off.
You don't have school?
-
Who'll pay for it? Your pop?
-
Keep off my dad!
- Relax
-
For school you don't need
tuition money, just a uniform
-
Pick a school,
buy the uniform, slip into class
-
In that sea of kids,
no one will notice
-
If I get caught?
- Then new uniform, new school
-
See that?
- He was different...
-
He challenged conventions
at every stage
-
A free-spirited bird had
landed in Virus's nest
-
We were robots, blindly following
our professors' commands
-
He was the only one
who was not a machine
-
What is a machine?
-
Why're you smiling?
-
Sir, to study Engineering
was a childhood dream
-
I'm so happy to be here finally
-
No need to be so happy.
Define a machine
-
A machine is anything that
reduces human effort
-
Will you please elaborate?
-
Anything that simplifies work,
or saves time, is a machine
-
It's a warm day, press a button,
get a blast of air
-
The fan... A machine!
-
Speak to a friend miles away.
The telephone... A machine!
-
Compute millions in seconds.
The calculator... A machine!
-
We're surrounded by machines
-
From a pen's nib to a pants' zip -
all machines
-
Up and down in a second.
Up, down, up, down...
-
What is the definition?
-
I just gave it to you, sir
-
You'll write this in the exam?
This is a machine - up, down...
-
Idiot! Anybody else?
-
Yes?
-
Sir, machines are any combination
of bodies so connected
-
that their relative motions
are constrained
-
and by which means, force
and motion may be transmitted
-
and modified as a screw
and its nut, or a lever arranged
-
to turn about a fulcrum
or a pulley about its pivot, etc
-
especially, a construction,
more or less complex
-
consisting of a combination
of moving parts, or
-
simple mechanical elements,
as wheels, levers, cams etc
-
Wonderful
-
Perfect. Please sit down
-
Thank you
-
But sir, I said the same thing,
in simple language
-
If you prefer simple language,
join an Arts and Commerce college
-
But sir, one must get
the meaning too
-
What's the point of blindly
cramming a bookish definition
-
You think you're smarter
than the book?
-
Write the textbook definition, mister,
if you want to pass
-
But there are other books...
- Get out!
-
Why?
-
In simple language - Out!
-
Idiot!
-
So, we were discussing
the machine...
-
Why're you back?
-
I forgot something
-
What?
-
Instruments that record,
analyze, summarize, organize
-
debate and explain information;
that are illustrated, non-illustrated
-
hard-bound, paperback,
jacketed, non jacketed
-
with foreword, introduction,
table-of-contents, index
-
that are intended for the
enlightenment, understanding
-
enrichment, enhancement and
education of the human brain
-
through the sensory route of
vision, sometimes touch
-
What do you mean?
-
Books, sir
-
I forgot my books. May I?
-
Couldn't you ask simply?
-
I tried earlier, sir.
It simply didn't work
-
Professors kept Rancho
mostly out... seldom in
-
When thrown out of one class,
he'd slip into another
-
He said - First year or fourth year,
it's knowledge. Just grab it
-
He was unlike any of us
-
We fought for a shower
every morning
-
He'd bathe wherever
he found water
-
Morning, sir
-
Machines were his passion
-
When he spotted them,
he opened them
-
Some he could re-assemble...
-
some he couldn't
-
There was another, just like him
-
Joy Lobo
-
Sir. Excuse me, sir
-
Mr. Joy Lobo!
-
Sir, if I could know the
convocation dates...
-
Why?
-
Dad wants to make
train reservations
-
I'm the first engineer from my
village. Everyone wants to attend
-
In that case, call your dad
-
Please hurry up.
Don't waste my time
-
Hello
-
Dad, the Director wants to
speak to you
-
Joy!
-
Mr. Lobo, your son won't
graduate this year
-
What happened, sir?
-
He has violated all deadlines
-
Mr. Lobo, it's an unrealistic project
-
He is making some
nonsense helicopter
-
I suggest you don't book
your tickets. I'm so sorry
-
Sir, I am this close, sir
- Is your project ready?
-
Is your project ready?
- Sir, see it once, please
-
Submit it, and we'll consider
-
Sir, a small extension...
- Why, why should I?
-
After dad's stroke,
I couldn't focus for two months
-
Did you stop eating?
-
No
-
Stopped bathing?
-
So why stop studying?
-
Sir, I'm very close.
See it once, please...
-
Mr. Lobo!
-
Sunday afternoon, my son
fell off a train and died
-
Monday morning, I taught a class.
So don't give me that nonsense
-
I can give you sympathy,
not an extension
-
Sir... I'm very close...
-
♪ Lifelong I lived ♪
-
♪ The life of another ♪
-
♪ For just one moment ♪
-
♪ Let me live as I... ♪
-
♪ Lifelong I lived ♪
-
♪ The life of another ♪
-
♪ For just one moment ♪
-
♪ Let me live as I... ♪
-
♪ Give me some sunshine
Give me some rain ♪
-
♪ Give me another chance
I wanna grow up once again ♪
-
♪ Give me some sunshine
Give me some rain ♪
-
♪ Give me another chance
I wanna grow up once again ♪
-
Dude's come up with an
amazing design
-
A wireless camera atop a helicopter
-
Can be used for
traffic updates, security... Wow!
-
But Virus said it's an
impractical design, it won't fly
-
It will fly! We'll make it fly
-
Don't tell Joy. It'll be a surprise
-
We'll fly it up to his window
and capture his reaction
-
If we work on his project,
who'll work on ours?
-
Tests, vivas, quizzes -
42 exams per semester
-
You scare easily, bro
-
Take your hand, put it over your
heart, and say, 'Aal izz well'
-
All is well?
- Aal izz well
-
Words of wisdom from
His Holiness Guru Ranchoddas
-
We had an old watchman
in our village
-
On night patrol, he'd call out,
'Aal izz well'
-
And we slept peacefully.
Then there was a theft
-
and we learned that
he couldn't see at night!
-
He'd just yell 'Aal izz well',
and we felt secure
-
That day I understood
this heart scares easily
-
You have to trick it
-
However big the problem,
tell your heart, 'All is well, pal'
-
That resolves the problem?
-
No. But you gain courage to face it
-
Learn it up, bro.
We're gonna really need it here
-
♪ When life spins out of control
Just let your lips roll ♪
-
♪ Let your lips roll
And whistle away the toll ♪
-
♪ When life spins out of control
Just let your lips roll ♪
-
♪ Just let your lips roll
And whistle away the toll ♪
-
♪ Yell - All is Well... ♪
-
♪ The chicken's clueless
about the egg's fate ♪
-
♪ Will it hatch or
become an omelette ♪
-
♪ No one knows
what the future holds ♪
-
♪ So let your lips roll
And whistle away the toll ♪
-
♪ Whistle away the toll
Yell - All is Well ♪
-
♪ Hey bro - All is Well ♪
-
♪ Hey mate - All is Well ♪
-
♪ Hey bro - All is Well ♪
-
♪ Confusion and more confusion
No sign of any solution ♪
-
♪ Ah... finally a solution
But wait... what was the question? ♪
-
♪ If the timid heart with fear
is about to die ♪
-
♪ Then con it bro,
with this simple lie ♪
-
♪ Heart's an idiot,
it will fall under that spell ♪
-
♪ Let your lips roll
And whistle away the toll ♪
-
♪ Whistle away the toll
Yell - All is Well ♪
-
♪ Hey bro - All is Well ♪
-
♪ Hey mate - All is Well ♪
-
♪ Hey bro - All is Well ♪
-
♪ Blew the scholarship on booze
But that did not dispel my blues ♪
-
♪ Holy incense lit up my plight
And yet God's nowhere in sight ♪
-
♪ The lamb is clueless for
what it's destined ♪
-
♪ Will it be served on skewers
or simply minced ♪
-
♪ No one knows
what the future holds ♪
-
♪ So let your lips roll
And whistle away the toll ♪
-
♪ Whistle away the toll
Yell - All is Well ♪
-
♪ Hey bro - All is Well ♪
-
♪ Hey mate - All is Well ♪
-
♪ Hey bro - All is Well ♪
-
♪ When life spins out of control
Just let your lips roll ♪
-
♪ Just let your lips roll
And whistle away the toll ♪
-
♪ All is Well ♪
-
♪ The chicken's clueless
about the egg's fate ♪
-
♪ Will it hatch or
become an omelette ♪
-
♪ No one knows
what the future holds ♪
-
♪ So let your lips roll
And whistle away the toll ♪
-
♪ Whistle away the toll ♪
-
♪ Eureka! Eureka! ♪
-
♪ Yell - All is Well ♪
-
♪ Hey Mrs. Chicken - All is Well ♪
-
♪ Hey Mr. Lamb - All is Well ♪
-
♪ Hey bro - All is Well ♪
-
Hey, take it up to Joy's window.
-
Take it higher.
-
Look at Silencer - the nude dude!
-
Joy, come out.
-
Come to the window.
-
Joy, look outside.
-
Good news, sir.
-
The police and Joy's father
have no clue.
-
Everyone thinks this is suicide.
-
The post mortem report -
-
Cause of Death: Intense
pressure on windpipe
-
resulting in choking
-
All think the pressure
on the jugular killed him
-
What about the mental pressure
for the last four years?
-
That's missing in the report.
-
Engineers are a clever bunch...
-
They haven't made a machine
to measure mental pressure.
-
If they had, all would know...
-
this isn't suicide... It's murder.
-
How dare you blame me
for Joy's suicide?
-
If one student can't handle
pressure, is it our fault?
-
Life is full of pressures.
Will you always blame others?
-
I don't blame you, sir.
I blame the system.
-
Look at these statistics -
India ranks No.1 in suicides
-
Every 90 minutes,
a student attempts suicide
-
Suicide is a bigger killer
than disease
-
Something's terribly wrong, sir.
-
I can't speak for the rest...
-
but this is one of the
finest colleges in the country
-
I've run this place for 32 years.
-
We were ranked 28th.
Now we're No.1
-
What's the point, sir?
-
Here they don't discuss
new ideas or inventions
-
They discuss grades,
jobs, settling in the USA
-
They teach how to get good scores.
They don't teach Engineering
-
Now you will teach me
how to teach?
-
No sir, I...
-
Sir, my paper...
-
Vaidyanathan, please sit down.
-
Here is a self-proclaimed professor.
-
who thinks he is better than
our highly qualified teachers.
-
Professor Ranchoddas Chanchad
will teach us Engineering.
-
We do not have all day.
-
You have 30 seconds
to define these terms.
-
You may refer to your books.
-
Raise your hand
if you get the answer.
-
Let's see who comes first,
who comes last.
-
Your time starts... now.
-
Time up.
-
Time up, sir.
-
No one got the answer?
-
Now rewind your life by a minute.
-
When I asked this question,
were you excited? Curious?
-
Thrilled that you'd learn
something new?
-
Anyone?
... Sir?
-
No. You all got into a frantic race.
-
What's the use of such methods,
even if you come first
-
Will your knowledge increase?
No, just the pressure.
-
This is a college,
not a pressure cooker.
-
Even a circus lion learns to sit
on a chair in fear of the whip.
-
But you call such a lion
'well trained', not 'well educated'
-
Hello!
-
This is not a philosophy class.
Just explain those two words
-
Sir, these words don't exist.
-
These are my friends' names.
Farhan and Raju
-
Quiet!
-
Nonsense! Is this how
you'll teach Engineering?
-
Sir, I wasn't teaching
you Engineering.
-
You're an expert at that.
-
I was teaching you... how to teach.
-
And I'm sure one day you'll learn.
-
because unlike you, I never
abandon my weak students.
-
Bye, sir.
-
Quiet!
-
Quiet, I said.
-
I regret to inform you
that your son...
-
Farhan...
Raju...
-
has fallen into bad company.
-
Without urgent corrective steps,
his future will be ruined.
-
Virus's letters dropped on
our homes like atom bombs.
-
Hiroshima and Nagasaki
plunged into gloom.
-
Our parents invited us -
for a dressing down.
-
Come in.
-
See that?
-
We could afford
just one air-conditioner.
-
We put it in Farhan's room,
so he could study in comfort.
-
I didn't buy a car.
I manage with a scooter.
-
We put all our money
into Farhan's education.
-
We sacrificed our comforts
for Farhan's future. Understand?
-
You took these pictures, Farhan?
-
He had that useless
obsession for a while.
-
Went around taking
pictures of animals.
-
Wanted to be a
wildlife photographer.
-
Son, what was your
score that year?
-
91%
-
Hear that? Straight drop
from 94% to 91%.
-
You find it funny?
-
No sir, sorry. I'm just
amazed at the photos
-
Why make him an engineer...
Why not a wildlife photographer?
-
Enough!
-
I humbly request you -
Don't ruin my son's future.
-
Food's on the table, boys. C'mon.
-
If you ever visit again,
do eat with us.
-
Dad denied us a meal...
-
So, to fill our bellies with food...
-
and ears with more reprimands,
we reached Raju's house.
-
Raju's house was straight
out of a 50's black and white film.
-
A small, dingy room...
-
a paralyzed father...
-
a coughing mother...
-
and an unwed sister
-
A sofa sprouting springs...
-
a 24 hour water supply -
from the leaking roof.
-
Mother was a retired school
teacher and a tireless complainer.
-
Father was once a postmaster.
-
Paralysis shut down
his body partly...
-
his salary completely.
And the sister...
-
Kammo's turned 28.
They demand a car in dowry.
-
If you don't study and earn,
how will she marry?
-
Some okra?
-
Okra is now 12/- per kilo,
cauliflower is 10/-
-
It's daylight robbery!
-
What will we eat if we get
warnings from your college?
-
Mom!
-
Cottage cheese?
-
Cottage cheese should be sold
at the jewelers, in velvet pouches
-
- Cottage cheese?
- No, no, it's ok.
-
Mom, please.
-
Alright, I'll shut up
-
Earn for the family,
slave like a maid.
-
and then take the vow of silence.
-
If not with my son, with whom
do I share my woes - his friends?
-
Hey Raju.
-
We were in a huge dilemma.
-
Do we comfort our friend
or console his mom?
-
Screw it, we thought, let's
focus on the cottage cheese.
-
Even his eczema cream
costs 55/- now
-
Another roti?
-
No, thank you. We're through.
-
Okra for 12/-
- Cauliflower for 10/-
-
At least you were offered a meal
-
Unlike your sadistic dad...
'Hitler' Qureshi!
-
And your mom is Mother Teresa...
Feeding us 'eczema roti'!
-
- Don't poke fun at my mom!
- Enough, you guys.
-
I'm famished. Let's eat out.
-
It's month end. Who'll pay?
His Mother Teresa?
-
To eat out, you don't need money.
Just a uniform. Look...
-
- C'mon.
- Come.
-
Good evening,
good evening.
-
Oh, Uncle.
-
- Three large vodkas.
- Half soda, half water.
-
If we're caught, we're dead.
-
- What's for starters?
- Get double portions.
-
Leave this here and start
some peppy music.
-
Pia, what the hell?
-
Why're you wearing
this ancient piece of junk?
-
What'll people say - My fiancee...
-
a doctor in the making,
wearing a cheap, 200/- watch!
-
Please take it off. Thank you.
-
Hi handsome.
-
Hey Aunty.
You're looking good.
-
- Don't miss my set, darling.
- Rubies?
-
- From Mandalay
- Mandalay... Wow!
-
- Hey, let's go meet David.
- Of course.
-
Excuse me.
-
Yes?
-
Flowers.
-
- May I take the glass?
- Why?
-
So you don't break it on my head
-
Why would I do that?
-
For the free advice I'll now impart
-
What?
-
Don't marry that ass
-
Excuse me?
-
He's not a human,
he's a price tag.
-
He'll turn your life into a
nightmare of brands and prices.
-
He'll ruin your life.
Your future will be finished.
-
Want a demonstration?
-
Shall I find out the price of his shoes?
-
I won't ask.
He'll announce it himself.
-
What the hell...
Mint sauce on my $300 shoes!
-
Run for your life!
It's free advice. Take it or leave it.
-
Genuine Italian leather -
hand-stitched!
-
Dad, are they your guests?
-
My students.
What're they doing here?
-
Hold on, Dad.
-
These beans smell great.
-
- No room for roti.
- Just pile it on.
-
- Hi.
- Hey.
-
That was an eye-opener.
Thank you so much.
-
It was my moral responsibility.
-
Can I ask you for little more help?
-
Dad won't let me break off
this engagement.
-
You explain so well.
Can you give him a demo too?
-
Certainly.
Raju, the mint sauce
-
You're really sweet
-
- Where is your daddy?
- Right behind you.
-
Aal izz well
-
Run for your life!
It's free advice. Take it or leave it
-
What're you doing here?
-
We'll hand these gifts
to the couple.
-
I'll do that for you.
It's my sister's wedding.
-
Sister?
-
Sir, what's the sum total
of your daughters?
-
Empty. No gift cheques.
-
Forgot the cheques, Raju
... Farhan?
-
We didn't invite you,
you must be from the groom's side.
-
No sir, we're here as the
emissaries of science.
-
How? Can you explain?
-
Dad, he explains superbly.
I'm sure he'll give us a demo.
-
Won't you?
-
Well, Delhi has plenty of
power cuts that...
-
disrupt wedding celebrations.
-
So I thought of making
an inverter that...
-
draws power from guests' cars.
-
I see.
-
Wow!
-
So where's the inverter?
-
Sir, the design is ready.
-
Where's the design, Farhan?
-
- I gave you the design.
- I gave it to Raju.
-
Raju, design?
-
Never mind the design.
I'll make the inverter and show you.
-
You can only invent stories,
not an inverter.
-
I'll make one, I promise.
-
And I'll name it after you.
After all, it was invented...
-
at your daughter's wedding.
So it'll be an honor...
-
Farhan, Raju. I'll see you
in my office tomorrow.
-
Sir, what was the cost per plate?
We'll reimburse you...
-
... in installments.
-
- We'll never crash a wedding again.
- Not even my own.
-
In fact, I won't even marry.
Nor will he.
-
Uh... right. No marriage.
-
Your parents shouldn't have
married either.
-
The world would have
to feed two less idiots.
-
Sit!
-
Pay attention.
-
This is Ranchoddas's father's
monthly income.
-
Couple of zeroes less,
and it's still a sizeable income.
-
But erase another zero,
and I would worry a little.
-
Isn't that your fathers income,
Farhan?
-
Yes, sir.
-
Now take away another zero...
-
and that's your family income,
Raju Rastogi.
-
Big reason to worry.
-
Take my advice and shift into
Chatur Ramalingam's room.
-
Exams are here. Stay with
Rancho and you're sure to fail.
-
- Want a shave?
- No, sir.
-
Then get lost!
-
Raju, don't worry. This is Virus's
move to split us. Divide and rule.
-
I have to worry.
-
He grades us, and I need
good grades for a good job.
-
Unlike you, I don't have a
rich dad I can live off.
-
Shut up, Raju.
-
Must we follow all his hogwash?
'Aal izz well'.
-
I won't be his flunky... like you.
-
- You're crossing the line.
- No, I'm drawing one.
-
I have a family to support.
-
Dad's medicines
swallow up mom's pension.
-
My sis can't marry because
they want a car in dowry.
-
Mom hasn't bought a
single saree in five years.
-
Now don't get your mom's
wardrobe into the debate.
-
By the way, how many sarees
per annum is reasonable?
-
Hey... no wisecracks about mom.
-
We'll study with all our heart,
but not just for grades.
-
To quote a Wise One - Study
to be accomplished, not affluent.
-
Follow excellence. And success
will chase you, pants down!
-
Which Wise One says this?
His Holiness Guru Ranchoddas?
-
Go rot in the bogs!
-
Raju, don't stress. We'll top
our class. Nothing is impossible.
-
Oh yeah?
-
Shove this back into the tube.
-
Raju got onto another train.
-
His travails with Chatur began.
Yes, I mean travails, not travels
-
Chatur was called 'Silencer'.
-
To sharpen his memory,
he popped pills from a local quack.
-
And then let off silent...
but lethal farts.
-
I didn't do it... Raju?
-
He always blamed others
for the output.
-
Silencer crammed 18 hours a day.
-
On exam eve,
he would distract others.
-
His belief - There are only
two ways of topping.
-
Elevate your own grades or
shrink your opponents' grades.
-
Rancho decided to subdue
Silencer and rescue Raju...
-
with one master plan.
-
Our Director has unceasingly
served... 'Served' means...
-
Damn the meaning,
I'll memorize it.
-
Chatur was the introductory speaker
at the Teachers' Day function.
-
To impress Virus, he got his
speech written by the librarian...
-
in highbrow Hindi.
-
Hello. Hold on.
Chatur, call for you.
-
Please collect the printout.
I'll be right back.
-
Oh... the things I have to do...
-
Mr. Dubey, the Director was
remembering you.
-
- Really?
- Yes. Just now.
-
I'll see him right away.
Give this to Chatur.
-
- Hello. Hello.
- Hello, Mr. Ramalingam?
-
Yes?
-
I'm calling from the police station
-
- Are you from Uganda?
- Yes sir.
-
- Your life is in danger!
- What? ... How?
-
Listen carefully, or else...
-
you'll get killed as you step out
of the college gate.
-
Why? What happened?
-
While Chatur was kept engaged,
-
Rancho altered a few words
in his speech, for eg...
-
'served' became 'screwed'.
-
Yes sir?
-
- Who are you?
- Dubey. Librarian.
-
I'm permanent staff, sir.
-
Congratulations!
-
Hold on a moment.
The chief is on the other line.
-
Excuse me, sir...
-
Yes... so where was I?
-
You said I may die...
outside the gate.
-
Right. As you get out of the gate,
you'll see a traffic signal.
-
Traffic signal. Ok.
-
When it turns red,
all the cars will halt.
-
Ok. Then?
-
Then cross the road
with great caution.
-
Because son, in rush hour
if a car hits you, you're dead.
-
What nonsense! I know that.
-
You know that? Excellent.
Then you're safe my boy.
-
From the librarian, Silencer.
-
You don't call me that,
Chanchad.
-
Hey. The Director said
he didn't call for me.
-
Who said 'called'?
I just said he 'remembered' you
-
Remembered?
Rascals!
-
Distinguished Mr. Chairperson.
-
Chief guest, the Honorable
Minister of Education....
-
respected teachers and friends.
-
ICE has now soared
beyond the stratosphere.
-
The credit goes solely to...
-
Dr. Viru Sahastrabuddhe.
Give him a big hand.
-
Sir, the voice is his
but the words are mine.
-
He's a great guy, really you are.
-
For 32 years, he has
unceasingly screwed students.
-
He means - 'served' students.
-
I'm sure his endeavors
will continue.
-
We are astounded at
how one man, in one lifetime
-
can screw so many, so well.
-
With rigorous training
he's built up his stamina.
-
He's spent every living minute
just screwing.
-
Let's replicate his methods.
-
Tomorrow ICE students
will go across the globe.
-
Wherever we go,
we promise to screw.
-
We'll hoist this screwer's flag
all over the world.
-
We'll show the world that
our capacity to screw...
-
cannot be matched by any student...
-
anywhere on the planet.
-
Mr. Minister. Good evening.
-
You have given this institution
what it sorely needs...
-
- Booty, funds.
- Bosom
-
It's booty, stupid. Bosom means...
-
What nonsense! That's insulting.
-
Everyone has a bosom,
but it remains pocketed.
-
No one offers it so readily.
-
Vulgar fellow!
-
You have generously offered
your bosom...
-
to this relentless screwer.
-
Now see how he makes it grow.
-
Is this what you teach here, Director?
-
On this august occasion,
here's a Sanskrit verse...
-
Listen to this - the might
of his fart in verse.
-
A good loud fart is honorable.
-
'Fart'? Go, Silencer.
-
A medium fart is tolerable.
-
Softer windbreaks are terrible.
-
And the silent ones unbearable.
-
That's what mindless cramming
does to you.
-
Cramming may see you
through four years of college,
-
but it will 'screw' you
for the next 40 years.
-
He still doesn't get it.
-
'Medium fart is tolerable'...
Unbelievable!
-
You're a poet, Rancho.
How did you think of this?
-
That was fun.
He didn't know what hit him.
-
You swines!
What did I ever do to you?
-
Sorry man.
Don't take it personally.
-
I will.
-
Chatur Ramalingam
will never forget this insult.
-
I'll think of it every minute,
every second of my life.
-
Sorry man. That was a demo
for Raju - Don't cram blindly.
-
Understand and enjoy
the wonders of Science.
-
I'm not here to enjoy Science.
-
So You're here to screw Science?
-
Go ahead.
Laugh at my methods.
-
But one day these methods
will bring me success.
-
That day I'll laugh and you'll cry.
-
You're on the wrong track again.
Don't chase success.
-
Become a good engineer
and success will chase you.
-
These ideals don't work
in the real world.
-
You take your train, l'll take mine.
-
Ten years from now
we'll meet at the same station.
-
Same day. Same place.
We'll see who's more successful.
-
You... or me.
-
Have the balls? C'mon, bet!
-
lt's a challenge.
-
Watch it!
-
What's he writing?
-
Don't forget this date.
-
l'm not used to
such expensive gifts, Suhas.
-
Get used to them, Pia.
-
You're gonna be
Suhas Tandon's wife.
-
Where's the bill, man?
-
l'll be back.
-
- You changed the speech?
- What?
-
Don't lie.
-
Um... Yeah.
-
- What's your problem with dad?
- l have no problem.
-
l'm making an inverter
named after him. Look... Oh.
-
Why're you harassing him?
-
'Cause he runs a factory,
not a college.
-
Churning out asses.
Like that one.
-
She destroyed it, man.
-
How dare you call him an ass?
-
He is one!
First Engineering, then MBA...
-
then becomes a banker in the USA.
-
Because it rakes in
more money?
-
Life for him is just
a profit-loss statement.
-
He sees profit in you,
so he's with you.
-
Director's daughter, doctor in the
making... Good for his image!
-
lt's not you he cares for.
-
Who do you think you are?
-
What do you mean
he doesn't care for me?
-
New watch? One moment.
-
You always need a demo.
-
Hey Suhas!
-
Where were you?
-
She's looking for her watch.
-
What? You lost the watch?
-
Never mind. Get another.
-
lt cost 400,000!
-
Mine's just 250/-
but keeps the same time.
-
Shut up! How could
you be so careless, Pia?
-
This callous attitude is
disgusting. lt's disrespectful!
-
That was a limited edition watch.
-
Now wear your ancient
piece of junk at dinner.
-
What're you staring at?
-
Here come the tears!
Real mature, Pia.
-
l can't handle this.
-
Stop crying and look for it.
-
Find another wrist
for this watch... Ass!
-
Hey, you're awesome.
Called him an ass to his face.
-
Get lost!
-
lt's too noisy here.
-
She's saying 'Thank you',
l hear 'Get lost'.
-
- l said 'Get lost'.
- Don't get so uptight.
-
Actually, you never really loved him.
-
What do you mean?
-
When you see him, do the
winds whisper a melody?
-
Your scarf flies in slow motion?
-
The Moon appears gigantic?
-
That happens in movies, not in life.
-
Happens in life too -
if you love a person...
-
not an ass.
-
Hello. What?
-
Oh God! Ok, l'm on my way.
-
You're a medical student, right?
Need your help.
-
- lt's an emergency, please.
- What?
-
Please come with me.
What's that oath you doctors take -
-
You'll never deny a patient help...
The Hippocratic Oath.
-
Please help me,
it's an emergency.
-
You gatecrash my sister's wedding,
break off my engagement...
-
my dad is popping
BP pills because of you...
-
and here l am, helping you!
-
Unbelievable!
-
This Hippocratic Oath -
lt's really done us in!
-
- Where's Raju, ma'am?
- Gone to get a cab.
-
Called the ambulance
two hours ago.
-
ln this country,
pizza reaches in 30 minutes...
-
but an ambulance...
-
He needs hospitalization.
Urgently!
-
Hey stop!
-
Move, it's an emergency!
-
Move... move...
-
Doctor, emergency!
-
That's the patient.
-
Keep this. Hey, here's Raju.
-
What the hell!
You brought dad on the scooter.
-
Should l've sent him by courier?
-
No wisecracks on dads profession!
Where is he?
-
Go ask the doctor.
-
Close call, Pia. A little delay,
we'd have lost him.
-
Glad you didn't wait for an ambulance
and got him on the scooter.
-
Call me if there's a problem.
-
Rancho! Thank you...
-
Thanking your buddies!
Silencer teaching you manners?
-
Didn't he teach you -
A friend is man's greatest bosom?
-
Go on now.
You have an exam tomorrow.
-
Exams we have many...
Dad mostly just one!
-
We won't budge from here
without the Postmaster.
-
Don't worry!
-
Rancho, forgive me.
l was scared.
-
lt's ok. Quiet, now.
-
Please forgive me.
-
lt's ok, calm down.
Go see your dad.
-
And don't go
with that weepy face.
-
Thanks buddy.
-
Natty scooter. Saved a life.
How much does it cost?
-
Pour some mint sauce on it.
l'll tell you.
-
Hey, happy lndependence Day.
-
Today isn't lndependence Day.
-
For you it is! Now you're free
to wear your mom's watch.
-
No ass can say it's an
ancient piece of junk.
-
Hey.
-
How do you know
it was mom's watch?
-
At your sister's wedding,
you wore sparkling new clothes.
-
Only the watch was old.
-
What could that mean?
-
You really missed your mom
that day, didn't you?
-
Yes.
-
Your mom must've been
really beautiful.
-
Yes. How do you know?
-
Seen your dad.
-
'Life is a race. lf you don't run fast
-
you'll be a broken egg
... cuckoo bird.'
-
You...
-
♪ The winds whisper a melody ♪
-
♪ The sky hums along ♪
-
♪ Time itself is singing... ♪
-
♪ Zoobi do... ♪
-
♪ Param pum ♪
-
♪ 'Zoobi doobi zoobi doobi pum paara
Zoobi doobi param pum' ♪
-
♪ My silly heart goes 'Zoobi doobi
zoobi doobi' as it jives and jigs along ♪
-
♪ 'Zoobi doobi zoobi doobi pum paara
Zoobi doobi param pum' ♪
-
♪ My silly heart goes 'Zoobi doobi
zoobi doobi' as it jives and jigs along ♪
-
♪ Leaves sing on their branches
Bees jam with flowers ♪
-
♪ Crazy sunbeams dance off petals
As birds yodel in the skies ♪
-
♪ Flowers, bold and brazen
Snuggle and cootchie-coo ♪
-
♪ l've seen it happen in movies
What's now happening with us ♪
-
♪ 'Zoobi doobi zoobi doobi pum paara
Zoobi doobi param pum' ♪
-
♪ My silly heart goes 'Zoobi doobi
zoobi doobi' as it jives and jigs along ♪
-
♪ 'Zoobi doobi zoobi doobi pum paara
Zoobi doobi param pum' ♪
-
♪ My silly heart goes 'Zoobi doobi
zoobi doobi' as it jives and jigs along ♪
-
Let's make the unique and
ever useful mint sauce.
-
The all-powerful sauce that
exposes phony people.
-
Your 7th house is clear...
-
Shunning an ass,
you'll fall for a human.
-
Time is ripe for love.
-
Temperature in New Delhi
remains stable.
-
Clear skies.
But if in love, expect rain.
-
♪ Pitter-patter go the raindrops
Whish-whoosh whistles the wind ♪
-
♪ Do-da-dee waltzes the rain
Boom-boom echoes the sky ♪
-
♪ Drenched in rain and passion
You sway your hips on cue ♪
-
♪ I've seen it happen in movies
What's now happening with us ♪
-
♪ 'Zoobi doobi zoobi doobi pum paara
Zoobi doobi param pum' ♪
-
♪ My silly heart goes 'Zoobi doobi
zoobi doobi' as it jives and jigs along ♪
-
♪ 'Zoobi doobi zoobi doobi pum paara
Zoobi doobi param pum' ♪
-
♪ My silly heart goes 'Zoobi doobi
zoobi doobi' as it jives and jigs along ♪
-
♪ The gorgeous low moon
Serenades the earth ♪
-
♪ A shooting star skips along
Crooning a ballad of love ♪
-
♪ The night is bright but lonesome
Come touch me, my handsome ♪
-
♪ I've seen it happen in movies
What's now happening with us ♪
-
♪ 'Zoobi doobi zoobi doobi pum paara
Zoobi doobi param pum' ♪
-
♪ My silly heart goes 'Zoobi doobi
zoobi doobi' as it jives and jigs along ♪
-
♪ 'Zoobi doobi zoobi doobi pum paara
Zoobi doobi param pum' ♪
-
♪ My silly heart goes 'Zoobi doobi
zoobi doobi' as it jives and jigs along ♪
-
♪ 'Zoobi doobi zoobi doobi'
... goes my silly heart ♪
-
Hello. Wake up.
-
- Huh... Postmaster's dead?
- What!
-
No, stupid.
-
lt's 8.30, your exam is at 9.
-
But we can't leave him alone.
-
I'm here.
It's a matter of three hours.
-
Take my scooter.
It's getting late.
-
Hey...
-
Gosh, what an ancient watch.
-
Go.
-
- Sorry, we're late.
- It was an emergency.
-
Settle down there.
-
Sir, they're still writing.
-
Hello. Time up.
-
Please, five minutes.
We started half an hour late.
-
It was an emergency.
-
He glared at us like we'd
asked for both his kidneys.
-
But we continued writing.
-
He continued arranging
the answer sheets.
-
Done, sir.
-
You're late.
I can't accept these.
-
Sir, please, sir.
-
Sir, do you know who we are?
-
Prime Ministers son?
Even then...
-
I will not accept your paper.
-
Do you know
our names and roll numbers?
-
No...
-
Who are you?
-
He doesn't know - Run!
-
Hey, what's your roll number?
-
Where the hell are their papers?
-
O Lord, have mercy.
-
Today was Results day.
Time to make a deal with God.
-
Just save my Electronics.
I'll offer a coconut.
-
Sir Snake, bless my Physics.
I promise a pint of milk per day.
-
O Mother Cow,
help me pass... have this grass.
-
I vow: No X-rated thoughts
of girls in my class...
-
Watch over my results.
-
God of Wealth, I'll offer 100/-
every month.
-
100/- won't bribe even a traffic cop,
-
let alone the Almighty.
-
Check from the bottom.
-
You are... last.
-
And you?
-
Second last.
-
Rancho?
-
Not there.
-
My heart sank.
-
Not 'cause our ranks tanked,
but 'cause our friend flunked.
-
There's a mistake.
It's not possible. It's injustice.
-
What's Silencer howling about?
-
He got the second rank.
-
Who's first?
-
Rancho.
-
Rancho?
-
Move aside.
-
We learned a lesson
in Human Behavior:
-
Your friend fails, you feel bad.
Your friend tops, you feel worse.
-
We were sad.
Two others were sadder.
-
Ranchoddas Chanchad.
Front row. Right of the Director.
-
Uday Sinha. Second row. Third seat.
-
Alok Mittal. Second row. Fifth seat.
-
Sahili Rao. Third row...
-
Sir, why this seating
according to rank?
-
Any problem with that?
-
Yes, this grading system is
like a caste system.
-
A-graders: Masters
C-graders: Slaves
-
- It's not nice, sir.
- You have a better idea?
-
Yes. Results should not be
displayed at all.
-
Why publicise someone's flaws?
-
If your iron count is low,
will the doctor prescribe tonic...
-
or air your report on TV?
-
You see, sir?
-
So basically, what you are saying is...
-
I should personally go to
each student's room
-
and whisper in his ears...
-
'You have come first',
'You're second".
-
'Oh, I'm so sorry,
you have failed'.
-
No sir, I mean
grades create a divide.
-
I've topped, so I'm next to you.
-
My pals came last,
they're in the back corner.
-
At least they're in the corner.
-
More time with you, and
they'll be out of the photo.
-
They will neither pass,
nor get a job.
-
They'll get jobs, sir.
There must be some firm that...
-
prefers humans to machines.
-
They'll get jobs. I guarantee.
-
You guarantee it!
-
Bet, sir?
-
- Govind.
- Yes, sir?
-
Even if one of them gets
a job in campus interviews...
-
shave off my moustache.
-
Sir!
-
- Happy?
- Smile, please.
-
Happy, sir.
-
Jackass!
Honking to hide your tooting.
-
Septic tank! Popping pills again?
-
I didn't do it... Raju?
-
This is a familiar stink.
-
He's the sole cause for global warming.
-
Toss me your wallet - I'll buy pants.
-
- Take Chatur's suit instead.
- Don't touch my suit.
-
Rancho'll recognize you
even in underwear.
-
- Where's this?
- If I could read, would I sell peanuts?
-
- He can't read.
- But he can speak.
-
Wait. Do you know a
Ranchoddas Chanchad?
-
Yes, he lives there.
-
♪ Free as the wind was he ♪
-
♪ Like a soaring kite was he ♪
-
♪ Where did he go... ♪
-
♪ let's find him ♪
-
- Chatur, your pills.
- Thanks. Where were they?
-
- In the pocket.
- Hey, my pants!
-
Karl Marx says to share all resources.
-
Hey, you'll give people ideas.
-
I want it now!
-
What happened?
-
Rancho's father.
-
Excuse me, where is Ranchoddas?
-
- There he is.
- Thank you.
-
- Rancho...
- Yes?
-
Sorry. We're looking for Ranchoddas.
-
I am Ranchoddas.
-
No, I mean...
'Ranchoddas Shamaldas Chanchad'.
-
Ranchoddas Shamaldas Chanchad.
That's me.
-
Ranchoddas, take care, son.
-
'Ranchoddas Chanchad'
-
Raju
-
I'll be in the Guinness Book for
driving Delhi-Shimla in underwear.
-
That too, for the wrong guy!
-
Same name, same degree,
same photo, but a different guy.
-
What's going on?
-
How did Silencer get
Rancho's address?
-
Good point!
-
Hey Chatur, come here.
-
How dare you open this?
I got this from San Francisco.
-
Handmade biscuits.
-
Specially for Mr. Phunsukh Wangdu.
-
Phunsukh Bangdu?
Who's that?
-
Not Bangdu. Wangdu. 'W'.
Phunsukh Wangdu.
-
Do you know who that is?
He's a great scientist.
-
400 patents.
The world wants him.
-
Took me a year to get an appointment.
-
Once he signs the deal with
my company, I'll be huge!
-
Forget Wangdu.
How'd you get Rancho's address?
-
You should be thanking
Phunsukh Wangdu.
-
He led me to Rancho, see this.
-
My secretary was here to fix
an appointment with Wangdu.
-
She didn't get the appointment.
But I found Rancho.
-
I checked the Shimla directory
and found Rancho's name.
-
What happened to his face?
-
Plastic surgery in honor of your visit?
-
Only one man has the answer.
-
Sorry Papa,
I couldn't fulfill your last wish.
-
You kept asking me
to take you on pilgrimage.
-
But I waited
for the highway tender.
-
There the tender opened,
here you closed your eyes.
-
I am so sorry, Papa.
I could not be a good son...
-
Wrong.
-
You're an engineer.
Your degree's on the wall!
-
You were a very good son.
-
How dare you barge in?
I'll have you arrested.
-
No, you'll be arrested.
We've made enquiries.
-
You use the degree
to clinch contracts.
-
It's our friend's degree.
How did you get it?
-
This is a 150 acre estate.
-
If I shoot and bury you,
no one would even notice.
-
Get the point?
-
Now get lost!
-
I'm taking Papa's ashes to the
sacred river. Can take yours too.
-
Grab Papa!
-
Here, here.
-
Let go of Papa!
-
Tell the truth or Papa is flushed!
-
- Hand over Papa!
- Papa goes to the sacred sewer.
-
- Get Papa out of the potty.
- You pull trigger, I pull flush.
-
I'll count to three.
-
Wanna shoot us?
Raju, scatter the ashes.
-
One.
-
Take us down,
and Papa's down the drain.
-
Two.
-
Then grope for him in the gutter.
-
What is it, Raju?
-
We've got the wrong urn.
It's empty!
-
Empty?
-
Empty - we'll empty it out!
-
No, no!
-
We'll empty it out!
-
No... hands up!
-
Who are you?
-
I am Rancho.
-
I swear on Papa, it's true.
-
I am Rancho!
That was Chhote.
-
Chhote?
-
He was our gardener's son, Chhote.
-
He stayed on with us
after he was orphaned.
-
Did odd jobs around the house,
ran errands.
-
He had a passion for learning.
-
He'd wear my old uniform
and slip into school.
-
And attend any class he liked.
It suited me.
-
I made him do my homework,
take my exams.
-
It was going well, till
one day...
-
Our teacher saw a sixth grader
doing tenth grade math.
-
Which grade are you in, son?
-
What's your name?
-
We got caught.
-
Papa was a powerful man, so...
-
our teacher alerted him
before going to the Principal.
-
You started it, you will finish it.
-
People pretend to show me respect...
-
But behind my back...
-
mock me as an illiterate.
-
I won't let that happen to my son.
-
This boy wants to study.
I want just a degree.
-
Let the game go on.
-
Make this kid an engineer,
-
and I'll have a degree
in my son's name on that wall.
-
I went to London for four years,
he went to college as me.
-
He'd promised to cut contact with all
after getting the degree.
-
But he always said:
'Two idiots will come looking for me'
-
He really misses you both.
-
I'll give you his address,
go to him.
-
But please keep my secret.
-
What secret?
-
You got the wrong urn, sir.
Papa is in here.
-
What the hell's going on?
Who was that gun guy?
-
Complicated story.
Without subtitles. Not for you.
-
- Ignore it.
- Where're we going?
-
Ladakh.
-
Ladakh! Why?
-
To meet Rancho.
-
What's he doing in Ladakh?
-
No clue. We have
the address of a school.
-
School teacher!
-
I'm Vice President of
Rockledge Corporation, and he...
-
A for Apple, B for Ball...
-
D for Donkey.
-
Next week I sign a huge deal
with Phunsukh Wangdu.
-
And he... A for Apple, B for Ball...
-
Today my respect
for that idiot shot up.
-
Most of us went to college
just for a degree.
-
No degree meant
no plum job, no pretty wife...
-
no credit card, no social status.
-
None of this mattered to him.
-
He was in college
for the joy of learning.
-
He never cared
if he was first or last.
-
Who was the first man
on the Moon?
-
Neil Armstrong, sir.
-
Obviously, it is Neil Armstrong.
We all know it.
-
Who was the second?
-
Don't waste your time.
It's not important.
-
Nobody remembers the man
who ever came second.
-
Soon, 26 companies
will be here with job offers.
-
You'll have a job
even before your final exam.
-
This is your last lap, my friends.
-
Put the pedal to the metal.
Step on the gas.
-
Go out there and make history!
-
Any questions?
-
Yes?
-
Sir, suppose a student gets a job...
-
but narrowly fails the final exam,
will he still have the job?
-
Very good question.
-
Anyone else
with the same question?
-
As expected.
-
Please come on stage.
Give them a big hand.
-
For the last four years...
-
they've been our most
consistent students.
-
Consistently last in every exam.
-
Come my geniuses, come.
-
Their brains will fetch
a handsome price.
-
'Cause they're completely unused.
-
And to answer their question:
-
The exam won't affect their jobs.
-
Because no company
will hire them anyway!
-
They're so unique, their
names will be writ in gold -
-
'Farhanitrate' and 'Prerajulization'
-
Give them a big hand,
please, everybody.
-
He screwed us!
-
In front of everyone.
-
God, I'll give up meat,
light a 1000 incense sticks.
-
Do me just one favor.
-
Delete Virus!
-
Burn him in hell.
-
Fry Virus-nuggets in bubbling oil.
-
You think God is a contract killer?
-
You shut up!
-
You're in the center
of the photo every year.
-
We're rotting in the corner.
-
This year we may fall
out of the photo altogether.
-
- Know why I come first?
- Why?
-
Because I love machines.
-
Engineering is my passion.
-
Know your passion?
-
- That's my bag.
- Be quiet.
-
What're you up to?
-
This... is your passion.
-
Go post this letter.
-
What letter?
-
5 years ago he wrote this for
his favorite wildlife photographer
-
- Andre...
- Istvan.
-
He wanted to train with him
in Hungary.
-
But in fear of his dad, the Fuhrer,
never posted it.
-
Quit Engineering, marry Photography.
-
Follow your talent.
-
If Michael Jackson's dad
forced him to be a boxer...
-
and Mohammad Ali's dad
pushed him to be a singer...
-
imagine the disaster.
-
Do you get it?
-
Idiot! Loves Photography,
but is marrying machines.
-
Your Holiness Guru Ranchoddas!
-
Engineering is
my wife and mistress both.
-
- But I still fail. Why?
- Explain.
-
'Cause you're a coward,
scared of the future.
-
Look at this -
more holy rings than fingers.
-
One ring per fear -
exam, sis's dowry, job.
-
With such fear of tomorrow,
how'll you live today?
-
How'll you focus on studies?
-
Strange buddies! One lives
in fear, the other in pretense.
-
You live in both - fear and pretense.
-
You're scared to tell Pia you
love her... so you pretend you don't.
-
What rubbish!
-
Easy to offer free advice,
tough to follow it.
-
Have the guts? Go confess to Pia.
-
- There's no connection!
- Deep connection, Your Holiness.
-
Listen, if you confess to Pia...
-
I'll tell Dad - No Engineering,
I'm marrying Photography
-
And I'll dump my rings
before the job interview.
-
Deal?
-
Have the guts?
-
His Holiness is speechless.
-
Let's go.
-
- Follow me.
- Where?
-
Let's go.
-
Hey Virus! I'm anti-Virus.
-
Hope no dog here.
-
Cowards! Let's go.
-
If any danger,
I'll give the Virus alert.
-
Beware - Virus inside.
-
Need background score?
-
- Pia.
- Who's it?
-
Don't yell! It's me, Rancho.
-
Just listen for a moment,
then I'm gone.
-
Say not a word...
-
- Pia...
- Yes?
-
Those 22 minutes with you
on the scooter
-
were the most enchanting
22 minutes of my life.
-
I could spend an eternity
with you on the scooter.
-
Wow!
-
... and time stands still.
-
Every night you ride into my dreams
on your scooter, dressed as a bride.
-
Instead of a veil,
you lift your helmet...
-
and come close to kiss me.
-
But that kiss doesn't happen.
-
Why?
-
Because the noses collide,
and I wake up.
-
The noses never collide, stupid!
-
I'm sorry,
I thought you were Pia.
-
I wish I was.
-
Sis, why did you interrupt?
-
It took him four years to say this.
-
Pia, kiss him.
Show that noses don't collide.
-
You have my permission,
kiss him... He's so cute!
-
- Who's this?
- My sister.
-
Who're you?
-
When you were talking,
he kicked. First time!
-
He? How do you know
it's a 'he' or 'she'?
-
Papa asked the astrologer If we'd
get an engineer or a doctor.
-
Meaning?
-
Boy becomes an engineer,
girl a doctor.
-
Champ, better stay inside.
Out here's a circus.
-
Your grandpa is the ringmaster.
He'll crack his whip -
-
'Run! Life is a race.
Be an engineer.
-
But you follow your heart.
If grandpa scares you...
-
put your hand on your heart
and say, 'All is well'
-
He kicked.
-
Say it again.
-
All is well.
-
Kicked again.
-
- Once more.
- All is well.
-
All is well.
-
Who is it?
-
Go.
-
You sent hate-mail to Dad,
here's pee-mail for you.
-
Enjoy the pee-mail, happy reading!
-
- Who is it?
- Your future son-in-law.
-
And the wedding party.
-
Rastogi!
-
Security, that way.
-
So you all have already learned
about the simple pendulum.
-
Now let's get down to the advanced
study about compound pendulum.
-
It's an irregular object
oscillating about its own axis.
-
Let me demonstrate to you
-
- What's this?
- Pencil.
-
- What's inside?
- Lead.
-
Good. Lead is the axis to this pencil.
-
Even you can be a compound
pendulum, if you oscillate about...
-
- Where is Raju Rastogi?
- Present, sir.
-
Hi. Everybody is here.
-
Good morning, sir.
-
Where were you last night?
-
- Studying all night, sir.
- Studying?
-
Really?
-
Hasn't slept two nights,
that's why he looks scruffy.
-
Not slept?
-
What did you study?
-
Induction motor, sir.
The whole chapter.
-
Whole chapter?
-
In that case, Mr. Raju Rastogi...
-
Yessir!
-
Can you tell us how an
induction motor starts?
-
Stop it!
-
Sir, rum.
-
Mr. Rastogi!
-
Let's have a cup of tea
in my office.
-
Sir?
-
Close the door.
-
Can you type?
-
Yes, sir.
-
Will you type a letter for me?
-
Definitely, sir.
-
Come, sit.
-
Sir, I'm sorry sir...
-
Please type.
-
Dear Sir...
-
It is my painful duty to inform you...
-
that your son is rusticated...
-
No, sorry, delete that.
Go back.
-
Your son, Mr. Raju Rastogi...
-
is rusticated from the
Imperial College of Engineering.
-
Come on, type.
-
It'll kill my dad, sir.
-
- Please type.
- Sir, please sir.
-
My decision is final and irrevocable.
-
He lives just to see me
become an engineer.
-
Should've thought of that
before peeing on my door.
-
Sir, give me one chance... please.
-
Ok, remove your name
from the letter...
-
and put in Rancho's.
-
I know he was with you
last night.
-
Be my witness and
I'll spare you.
-
You have 71/2 minutes to think.
-
♪ We won't let go of you ♪
-
♪ We're not done yet... no way ♪
-
♪ The heavens may beckon you ♪
-
♪ But we'll take up arms against God ♪
-
♪ And it's not a fight we intend to lose ♪
-
♪ You may try your best to escape ♪
-
♪ Try with all your might ♪
-
♪ But there is no way
we are letting go of you ♪
-
♪ We won't let go of you ♪
-
♪ We're not done yet... no way ♪
-
Rancho, watch that monitor.
-
Raju.
-
His body is paralyzed with shock,
but his mind is alert.
-
He can see and hear us.
Please don't cry in front of him.
-
Speak to him normally,
motivate him, joke around.
-
Good news, Raju.
Your dad's recovered.
-
The new medicine worked.
-
Is this your family tradition?
-
As one male gets up,
the other conks out?
-
Come, wake up.
-
Your dad wants Pia's scooter.
-
Should I give it to him?
Hope he won't dent it.
-
Raju, Farhan is live on webcam.
From the hostel.
-
Look, Virus has canceled
your suspension order.
-
Problem solved... Wake up now.
-
Everything's resolved!
You hear that?
-
Rise and shine, buddy.
-
♪ In this journey of few strides ♪
-
♪ On the path called life ♪
-
♪ Don't quit...
Just celebrate the ride ♪
-
♪ Listen please to those
who love you ♪
-
♪ Every dark night is
followed by sunrise ♪
-
♪ Don't shut out those
who love you ♪
-
♪ We won't let go of you ♪
-
♪ We're not done yet... no way ♪
-
♪ We won't let go of you ♪
-
♪ We're not done yet... no way ♪
-
- Look, mom bought a new saree.
- Brand new.
-
It cost 2000/-
-
Wake up now.
-
She bought not one,
but ten sarees.
-
Look!
-
Hey Raju!
-
C'mon tell me... How do I look?
-
♪ Remember the letters
mom would write... ♪
-
♪ Always blessed you
with eternal life ♪
-
♪ Don't die on her... you can't die ♪
-
♪ Look at us now, don't turn away ♪
-
♪ Smile once to show you care ♪
-
♪ Wake up,
don't torment us anymore ♪
-
Did you hear about your sis?
-
She's getting married.
-
Without any dowry.
-
The bridegroom wants
nothing at all.
-
He just wants Kammo.
-
- You know who the bridegroom is?
- Yeah.
-
Guess!
-
- You know him very well.
- Yes.
-
- He loves animals.
- Huh...?
-
He's going to be a
wildlife photographer.
-
Quiet... Shhhh...
-
Didn't get it? It's our Farhan.
-
Farhan will never take any dowry.
-
Farhan will marry your sister.
-
For free! Free! Free!
-
Raju!
-
One kilo okra, 500 grams cheese
for 'free' would've woken him.
-
Why sacrifice me...!
-
Well done, buddy.
-
So it's all fixed -
Farhan will marry your sister.
-
Rancho!
-
Rascals... Stop fibbing.
-
Lucky escape!
-
♪ We won't let go of you. ♪
-
♪ We're not done yet... no way ♪
-
♪ We won't let go of you ♪
-
♪ We're not done yet... no way ♪
-
♪ We won't let go of you ♪
-
'Okra Rs.12/ kilo'
-
You called for a taxi?
-
- I did.
- It's waiting.
-
Thank you. Why?
-
I'm going to the job interview.
-
You coming with me?
-
No. I'm going for the interview.
You're going home.
-
Why would I go home?
-
Remember, we promised
this rascal.
-
Give me your tie.
-
Why?
-
I doubt you'll go for the
interview after reading this.
-
What's that?
-
- A letter...
- For you, from Hungary.
-
Some photographer
called Andre Istvan.
-
You posted my letter!
-
He loved your pictures.
-
The guy wants you to assist him...
-
in the Brazilian rain forest,
for a year.
-
Will pay you, too.
-
Dad will never agree.
-
Go speak to him...
from your heart.
-
For once, dump your fears...
-
or someday, on your deathbed,
you'll regret it.
-
You'll remember that the letter was
in your hand, taxi at the gate...
-
With just a little courage, you
could've turned your life around.
-
Do you think he'll like it?
-
Why such an expensive gift?
-
Our son's getting
his first job today.
-
Don't be stingy at
such a proud moment.
-
Farhan?
-
Don't you have
the job interview today?
-
I didn't go.
-
I don't want to be
an engineer, Dad.
-
What happened?
You had an accident?
-
See that building?
I jumped from its third floor.
-
Why?
-
Because I was rusticated
from college.
-
Why?
-
Drunk, I urinated
on the Director's door.
-
That scoundrel Rancho
is messing with your mind!
-
I don't enjoy Engineering.
I'd make a terrible engineer.
-
Rancho has a simple belief -
Make your passion your profession.
-
Then work will become play.
-
What'll you earn in that jungle?
-
A small stipend, but I'll learn a lot.
-
Five years from now...
-
when you see your friends buying
cars and homes, you'll curse yourself.
-
Life as an engineer will bring
only frustration. Then I'll curse you.
-
I'd rather curse myself, Dad.
-
The world will laugh!
-
Label you a loser,
for quitting in the final year.
-
Mr. Kapoor feels you're fortunate
to be at ICE. What'll he think?
-
Mr. Kapoor didn't provide me
with an air-conditioner.
-
It wasn't Mr. Kapoor who slept
in discomfort while I slept well.
-
He didn't take me around the zoo
on his shoulders.
-
You did all that, Dad.
-
How you feel, matters to me.
Mr. Kapoor makes no difference.
-
I don't even know his first name.
-
You think you're the hero
of a melodrama?
-
Enough, please... he's upset.
-
God forbid, if he did
something crazy like Raju...
-
Then the discussion is over.
-
Don't say a word or
His Lordship will jump off the roof.
-
No, Dad. I'll never attempt suicide.
I promise.
-
The Rancho you detest
put this picture in my wallet.
-
Told me to see it if a suicidal thought
crossed my mind
-
and imagine what'd happen
to your smiles
-
when you see my dead body.
-
I want to convince you, Dad...
-
but not with a suicide threat.
-
Dad, what'll happen
if I become a photographer?
-
I'll earn less.
-
I'll have a smaller house,
a smaller car.
-
But I'll be happy.
-
I will be really happy.
-
Whatever I do for you
will be out of genuine love.
-
I've always listened to you.
-
For once,
let me listen to my heart.
-
Please... Dad.
-
Dad...
-
Please don't go away...
-
Return this.
-
Son, what's the cost
of a professional camera?
-
Can the laptop be exchanged for it?
-
If you need more money, just ask.
-
Go live your life, my son.
-
Your grades are consistently poor.
Reason?
-
Fear.
-
I was a good student
since childhood...
-
Parents hoped
I'd end their poverty.
-
That scared me.
-
Here I saw the mad race.
You don't count if you're not first.
-
My fear grew.
-
Fear is not good for grades, sir.
-
I slipped on more
charms and rings.
-
Prayed to God for favors.
No... begged for favors.
-
16 broken bones gave me
two months to think and reflect.
-
Finally, sense dawned.
-
Today I didn't beg God for this job,
just thanked him for this life.
-
If you reject me, no regrets.
-
I'll still do something
worthwhile with my life.
-
Such frank behavior
is not good for our firm.
-
We need someone diplomatic
to handle clients.
-
You're too straightforward.
-
But...
-
if you assure us
you'll control this attitude,
-
we may consider you.
-
It took two broken legs
to get me up on my feet.
-
Wasn't easy to get this attitude.
-
Can't change it, sir.
-
You keep your job...
I'll keep my attitude.
-
I'm sorry, no offense, sir.
-
Wait.
-
I've interviewed countless
candidates for 25 years.
-
Everyone turns into
a yes-man to get the job.
-
Where did you spring from, son?
-
Sir?
-
Shall we discuss the salary?
-
Thank you, sir.
-
Your Majesty, thou art great.
-
Accept this humble offering.
-
Govind!
-
You had said, 'If he gets a job,
shave it off'.
-
What have you done?
-
I feel naked without
my moustache.
-
I've lost my dignity.
-
I won't accept defeat, Rastogi.
-
The job isn't yours until you
pass your final exam.
-
And this time,
I will set the question paper.
-
Dad, that's not fair.
-
Everything is fair in
Love and War.
-
And this is World War... III
-
Rastogi, you're dead meat!
-
Hey.
-
What're you doing here?
-
Be careful.
-
- You've been drinking.
- Yup, had to down a couple.
-
A couple too many!
-
- Needed the guts.
- For what?
-
- For stealing this.
- What's this?
-
The duplicate key to
Virus's office.
-
The question paper's
in a cover with a red seal.
-
Dad has set it, to fail Raju.
-
Go get it!
-
Are you mad or what -
that's cheating!
-
Everything's fair in
Love and War.
-
Tell me something...
-
Do you really feel...
-
the noses collide while kissing?
-
Wait. Have some dhokla.
-
You Gujaratis are so cute.
-
But why does your food
sound so dangerous?
-
Dhokla, Fafda, Handwa,
Thepla, Khakhra...
-
Sound like missiles.
-
C'mon.
-
'Today Bush dropped
two Dhoklas on Iraq'
-
'400 dead, 200 injured'
-
C'mon.
-
Oh...
-
I can deal with Khakhra, Fafda.
But your name...
-
'Ranchoddas Shamaldas
Chanchad' - Yuck.
-
I won't change my last name
after marriage.
-
Pia, we can't get married.
-
Why?
-
Is there someone else?
-
No.
-
- Are you gay?
- No.
-
Then why don't you
propose to me?
-
- Are you impotent?
- No.
-
Then prove it.
-
Pia, no.
-
Stop, stop!
-
- What happened?
- We didn't inform Pia.
-
Stop here,
my bladders are bursting.
-
- Shut up!
- Are you in touch with her?
-
- No... I have her home number.
- Then call her, I'll stop.
-
Hello.
-
No place for urine-expulsion
in this country.
-
- Hello, is Pia there?
- No, she's not.
-
Is she at the hospital?
-
Why would she be there?
-
She's getting married today
- in Manali
-
Too late! She's married.
-
Not yet. It's a six hour drive.
-
If we rush, we'll reach
before the vows.
-
What do you say?
-
It's a no-brainer. Let's turn back.
-
No turning back.
-
Straight to Ladakh.
We'll meet Rancho and return.
-
I have a Friday meeting with
Phunsukh Wangdu.
-
Get into the car.
-
If I miss my meeting,
the Japanese will get him.
-
They're offering him a
first name in the company.
-
'Phunsukh and Fujiyashi',
profit sharing...
-
- Pia weds Suhas!
- Thanks for the suit.
-
Virus will have a heart attack.
-
At every daughter's wedding,
we're there to rock the party
-
Listen, I'll update Pia,
you peel off the price tag.
-
- Farhan.
- We found Rancho.
-
- For Room 107?
- Yes, sir.
-
- You've taken ages.
- Sorry, sir.
-
Off, now.
-
- Housekeeping, sir.
- Come in.
-
Amore... Amore...
-
Quick, iron my coat.
-
Amore... Amore...
-
We found Rancho!
Now you can't marry this ass.
-
You're mad, Farhan.
-
Don't fool yourself, Pia.
You still love Rancho.
-
You're still eating his favorite food.
-
Amore... Amore...
-
He's incorrigible.
Once a price tag, always a price tag.
-
Shut up, Farhan.
Suhas is a changed man.
-
He doesn't speak of
brands and prices anymore.
-
My 150,000/ - coat.
-
Why do you people eat sauce?
-
- I'll sort it out, sir.
- How?
-
Our laundry specializes in
cleaning mint-stained suits.
-
I'll clean it in a jiffy.
-
Get it soon.
-
- But it's too late now, Farhan.
- Pia.
-
Let's go, Pia, we're late.
-
Pia, it's me... Raju.
Don't yell, they'll kill me.
-
Where is Suhas?
-
Housekeeping took my coat.
-
Go... Send Suhas here.
-
It's rude to leave the ceremony.
-
- Yeah, Farhan?
- The car's ready.
-
Grab her hand and run.
Don't move.
-
- Sir...
- My coat?
-
You're here...
-
- So who's at the altar?
- Altar?
-
Another couple of rounds,
and we'll be considered married.
-
I'm already married, Pia.
Let's go.
-
It's too late.
People will laugh at me.
-
So you'll commit suicide?
-
Rastogi!
-
People will gossip briefly,
then forget.
-
But you... you'll regret
on your deathbed.
-
That the car was at the gate,
Rancho within reach...
-
but in fear of people,
you married this ass.
-
Housekeeping?
-
Pia, minor problem.
-
What?
-
We don't know if Rancho's married.
-
What!
-
- He won't be married.
- And if he is?
-
Then we'll drop you back.
-
Relax! Handmade biscuit?
-
What's he doing here?
-
- Ignore him.
- The biscuit's very good.
-
Till yesterday,
I was a law-abiding citizen.
-
But in the last 24 hours,
I'd grounded an aircraft...
-
almost assigned Shamaldas's
ashes to the sewers, and...
-
made a bride elope from her
own wedding! All for Rancho.
-
But he too would do
anything for friends.
-
Like stealing the question paper...
from the lion's den.
-
Envelope with the red seal.
-
He feared that if Raju failed,
there'd be another high jump
-
We were principled thieves,
stealing the paper only for Raju.
-
We'd sworn we won't even
take a peek.
-
Where's it hidden...
-
We'll grow old searching!
Ask Pia.
-
Pia, your phone.
-
Mr. Papa-To-Be!
If you say 'All is well', he kicks.
-
He kicked.
-
Pia, your phone.
-
Found it! Rancho.
-
Hello?
-
Quick, photocopy this.
-
Where was it?
-
Put it back.
-
- We're safe!
- Where were you?
-
- Here.
- What's this?
-
A gift.
-
Question paper.
Virus set it himself, to fail you.
-
Strange buddies!
-
First teach you to be upright,
then offer a path to shame.
-
No way!
-
If I pass,
it'll be on my own steam.
-
If I don't, it's still ok.
-
He'd won us over!
I felt like embracing him as family...
-
but then I controlled my emotions.
-
- Damn thief.
- Sir, please, sir.
-
- Rascal.
- Sorry sir.
-
Wanted to change the system?
-
- You'll pee on my door.
- Sir, what're you doing?
-
Sorry sir.
-
You are rusticated!
-
If all of you aren't out by morning,
I'll call the police.
-
I will call the police!
-
Rascals!
-
Rascals, all of you.
-
How did he get my office key?
-
I gave him the key, Dad.
-
I wish I'd given this key to
my brother... He'd be alive today.
-
Stop it, Pia.
-
You think your son
fell off a train and died?
-
Shut up, Pia.
-
You decided he'd be an engineer.
-
Did you ever ask him
what he wanted to be?
-
You put such pressure on him...
-
that he chose death
over the entrance exam.
-
I don't understand...
-
Dad, you go to your room.
-
Pia, don't do this.
-
He wanted to study Literature,
be a writer.
-
But all he wrote was
this suicide note.
-
Put that away, please.
-
No more cover-ups!
-
Just once...
-
if you'd said - Don't do Engineering
if you don't want to...
-
just do what your heart is in...
-
then he'd be alive today.
-
He didn't commit suicide.
-
You're right, Dad.
-
It wasn't suicide...
-
It was murder.
-
Many city roads are
completely submerged.
-
Traffic has come to a standstill.
-
Dad...
-
Mona?
-
Go back, Millimeter.
Why're you following us?
-
Why?
Your pop owns the road?
-
Please help,
we are desperate here!
-
You can't send an ambulance?
-
Get it from another hospital.
-
The entire city's flooded, sir.
We're helpless.
-
Mona, you ok?
-
Rancho, Pia.
-
Rancho, you can't reach here.
Do as I say.
-
The water bag has burst.
-
Disconnected! Mona.
-
Mona!
-
- Turn on the lights.
- Where to?
-
- To the table tennis table.
- Pia, we're in the common room.
-
Raju, turn on the web camera.
-
Where's Mona? Show me.
-
Hold on.
-
Here, Pia.
-
Mona, don't worry. I'm with you.
-
Pia, I'm dying!
-
Rancho, even when
there were no hospitals or docs...
-
babies were delivered.
-
You all will deliver this baby.
-
All is well.
-
How dare you? I'll kill you.
-
Dad, stay out of this.
-
Farhan, get towels and scissors.
-
Millimeter, get clothes clips
and hot water.
-
Rancho, cover Mona.
-
Mona, try pushing.
-
Push with all your might.
-
Stop it! I can't do it.
-
Rancho, check if there's crowning.
-
Crowning...?
-
Get that diagram.
-
See if the head is coming out.
-
Check quickly.
-
Go!
-
Go, Rancho, go.
-
No crowning.
-
Mona, please push.
-
Mona!
-
She's tired, Pia.
-
Wake her! If she won't push,
it's a big problem.
-
- They need a vacuum cup.
- Where will they get one?
-
What's a vacuum cup?
How is it used?
-
I'll show you.
-
If the mother's too fatigued to push,
a cup is placed on baby's head.
-
Suction makes the cup
stick to the head...
-
and the baby is pulled out.
-
- I can make this.
- How?
-
- With a vacuum cleaner.
- Vacuum cleaner?
-
Yes.
-
That pressure's too high.
-
- I'll control it.
- D'you have a vacuum cleaner?
-
Yes, in my office.
-
- Farhan, rush and get it.
- Here's the key.
-
Mona, push.
-
Oh my God!
-
What happened?
-
- Raju, what happened?
- The power's gone.
-
How'll the vacuum work now?
-
Farhan, you get the vacuum,
I'll get the power.
-
How?
-
Millimeter, get Virus out.
-
What nonsense is this?
-
Not this Virus.
My Virus, the inverter.
-
- Get that, quick.
- Ok.
-
Raju, wake up the hostel.
-
Get car batteries, wires,
and a vacuum gauge.
-
Emergency in the common room!
-
- Where's Rancho?
- Here, sir.
-
Keep the batteries here
... and the wires.
-
Raju, switch off everything,
connect the inverter to the mains.
-
Rancho, vacuum cleaner.
-
Farhan, get your lens cleaner.
-
- Blower?
- Yeah, get it.
-
Rancho, blower.
-
Good. Fix this to the gauge.
-
Rancho, I'm done.
-
- All switches off?
- Yes.
-
Hit the table
and computer switches.
-
Ok.
-
Raju, turn on the computer.
-
Farhan, here.
-
Pia, come here quick.
-
Love you, Rancho.
-
- Farhan, turn it on.
- Ok.
-
Pia, how much suction?
-
Not more than 0.5!
-
- Farhan, 0.5!
- Cover it.
-
0.5!
-
Vacuum cleaner baby!
Mother of all deliveries.
-
Farhan, stop.
-
Ok.
-
Raju, get on the table.
-
Push the baby down, like this.
-
Ok.
-
Farhan, turn it on.
-
C'mon, you can do it.
-
C'mon, push.
-
Do it for Champ.
-
C'mon, Mona.
-
He's coming out!
-
You can do it.
-
Yes Mona, push.
-
Farhan, turn it off.
-
Ok, off.
-
Two clips,
cut the umbilical cord.
-
Farhan, two clips on the cord.
-
- Get scissors.
- Be careful!
-
Cut at the center,
get a towel.
-
Pia, he's not crying.
-
Hey Champ!
-
Rancho, rub his back.
-
- Hey Champ!
- Come on, Champ.
-
No, nothing.
-
Blow air into his mouth.
-
C'mon, Champ.
-
No response.
-
Hush Mona, say -
All is well.
-
He kicked.
-
What?
-
He kicked.
-
Say - All is well.
-
All is well.
-
If Virus had said, 'My grandson
will be an engineer'...
-
I would've broken his jaw.
-
But when he finally spoke,
he stunned us.
-
What a kick!
Wanna be a footballer?
-
Be what you want to be.
-
Wait - I've not finished with you!
-
First day of college,
you'd asked me a question...
-
Why didn't astronauts
use a pencil in space?
-
If a pencil tip breaks...
-
it'd float in zero gravity.
Get into eyes, nose, instruments...
-
You were wrong!
-
You cannot be right all the time.
-
You understand?
-
Yes, sir.
-
This was an important invention.
-
You understand?
-
Yes, sir.
-
My Director said, 'When you find
an extraordinary student...'
-
Go, study!
Pass your exams and leave.
-
And now, Student of the Year...
-
Ranchoddas Shamaldas Chanchad
-
Sir, one photo.
-
I wanted to capture all these
memories and take them home.
-
That day, we hugged,
we rejoiced, we cried...
-
We vowed that we'd meet
at least once a year...
-
Who knew then, we were seeing
Rancho for the last time.
-
Untie him.
-
I'll sue you all in an
American court.
-
Raju.
-
Only Rancho can create
a school like this.
-
But where is he?
-
Don't pee here.
-
Go away creatures.
-
- Don't pee here.
- I'll smack you.
-
Bingo! He cannot be far.
-
Excuse me,
where is Ranchoddas?
-
- He's not Ranchoddas!
- Rancho...
-
Chhote... Dammit,
what's his name?
-
Calm down. Come with me.
-
- Where's he?
- Rancho.
-
Farhan, he's read all your books.
-
Raju, he reads your blog everyday.
Proudly shares it with the kids.
-
Remember your helmet, Pia?
It was stolen...
-
Who are you?
How do you know us?
-
- Didn't you recognize me?
- No.
-
How would you?
Millimeter is now Centimeter.
-
Not Centimeter, you're Kilometer.
-
How did you get here?
-
I got a letter with
a train ticket inside.
-
It said - 'Miss being in school?
Catch this train'... I did.
-
That rascal Rancho!
-
Where is that idiot?
-
Dorje, you fly it.
-
Every night you ride into my dreams
on a scooter, dressed as a bride.
-
Instead of a veil,
you lift your helmet...
-
and come close to kiss me.
-
Couldn't you tell me
before leaving?
-
No.
-
Sorry.
-
Did you marry?
-
What? No.
-
- You?
- Almost... Idiot.
-
So?
-
So what?
-
Do you love someone?
-
Yes.
-
Who?
-
You.
-
See, the noses don't collide,
stupid.
-
That's right!
-
Rancho.
-
Hi... Farhan!
-
Screw your 'Hi'.
-
Hey, listen to me...
No, you listen to me.
-
I can explain everything.
-
Hi... Raju!
-
How we hunted for you!
-
Didn't have a coin
for one phone call?
-
Add a couple from me too.
-
- Rascal, scoundrel!
- Let him go now.
-
Ok ok, enough.
-
On your feet, c'mon.
-
Having fun, idiots?
-
Hey... Hi Chatur.
-
Ranchoddas Chanchad.
How do you do, Mr. Teacher?
-
Wow, you're a teacher in a village -
A for Apple, B for Ball...
-
Our trains left together.
But yours traveled in reverse...
-
from engineer to primary teacher.
-
What's your salary, Chanchad?
5000/-?
-
For me that's $ 100.
-
My son's pocket money is
more than your salary.
-
- Cut the crap.
- Crap is what he gave us.
-
Wanted to change the education
system, change the world.
-
Finally what does he change?
Kids' diapers.
-
You gonna break his jaw
or should I?
-
Just relax.
-
Remember I'd said
one day you'd cry and I'd laugh?
-
Sign here.
Accept - You lost, I won!
-
'Declaration of Defeat'!
Unbelievable, man.
-
- Chatur...
- Crazy guy.
-
Hey, this is Virus's pen!
You pinched it?
-
Forget it, man.
-
This is for winners, not losers.
-
If your school ever needs help,
call my assistant for a donation.
-
A for Apple, B for Ball...
-
- He hasn't changed at all!
- Ignore him.
-
He's full of crap.
-
Good news is your name
isn't Ranchoddas Chanchad.
-
Imagine, after marriage,
I'm Pia Chanchad - Yuck!
-
By the way,
what is your real name?
-
Phunsukh Wangdu.
-
Wangdu?
-
Pia Wangdu!
-
You mean you're a scientist?
-
You have 400 patents?
-
I won't change my name
after marriage.
-
You mean you're Chatur's
Wangdu?
-
It's you the Japanese are wooing?
-
I don't like Wangdu.
-
Are you a scientist
or a teacher?
-
Scientist,
but I also teach children.
-
So you are
THE Phunsukh Wangdu?
-
Yes, yes!
-
- Hey Silencer.
- Hey Chatur, come back.
-
Take that.
-
Wait, I'll stop him.
-
Mr. Wangdu,
I can't believe it's you.
-
I'm sorry, Mr. Chatur.
-
I can't sign the deal
with your company.
-
What sir? Why sir?
-
How do I sign, man?
You took my pen.
-
What pen, sir?
I didn't get you...
-
The one in your hand -
Virus's pen.
-
Mr. Wangdu...?
-
Yes, Chatur?
-
A for Apple, B for Ball is...
-
S for Screwed.
-
You got me, Rancho.
I mean, Mr. Wangdu.
-
Totally floored me. Good one.
-
I hope our personal problems
won't affect this deal.
-
Hey Chatur, take that.
-
I was just joking, man.
-
Deep down,
I knew you'd do great things.
-
You're fibbing.
-
No, really, I swear.
-
Rancho - 100, Chatur - 0
-
You win, I lose.
You don't believe me?
-
Beware of farts.
-
Your Majesty, thou art great.
Accept this humble offering.
-
Free advice, Mr. Wangdu -
Run for your life!
-
Rancho, I'll lose my job, man.
I have small kids...
-
His Holiness Guru Ranchoddas
had correctly stated.
-
Follow Excellence... Success
will chase you, pants down.
-
Edited by Sonah
