Why gender equality is good for everyone — men included
-
0:01 - 0:04I'm here to recruit men
to support gender equality. -
0:04 - 0:08(Cheers)
-
0:08 - 0:09Wait, wait. What?
-
0:11 - 0:13What do men have to do
with gender equality? -
0:14 - 0:15Gender equality is about women, right?
-
0:16 - 0:19I mean, the word gender is about women.
-
0:20 - 0:24Actually, I'm even here speaking
as a middle class white man. -
0:25 - 0:27Now, I wasn't always
a middle class white man. -
0:27 - 0:32It all happened for me about 30 years ago
when I was in graduate school, -
0:33 - 0:36and a bunch of us graduate students
got together one day, -
0:36 - 0:39and we said, you know,
there's an explosion -
0:39 - 0:42of writing and thinking
in feminist theory, -
0:43 - 0:44but there's no courses yet.
-
0:44 - 0:48So we did what graduate students
typically do in a situation like that. -
0:48 - 0:50We said, OK, let's have a study group.
-
0:50 - 0:53We'll read a text, we'll talk about it,
-
0:53 - 0:55we'll have a potluck dinner.
-
0:55 - 0:56(Laughter)
-
0:56 - 1:00So every week,
11 women and me got together. -
1:00 - 1:02(Laughter)
-
1:03 - 1:06We would read some text in feminist theory
and have a conversation about it. -
1:06 - 1:09And during one of our conversations,
-
1:09 - 1:13I witnessed an interaction
that changed my life forever. -
1:14 - 1:16It was a conversation between two women.
-
1:17 - 1:21One of the women was white,
and one was black. -
1:21 - 1:22And the white woman said --
-
1:22 - 1:25this is going to sound
very anachronistic now -- -
1:25 - 1:30the white woman said, "All women
face the same oppression as women. -
1:30 - 1:33All women are similarly
situated in patriarchy, -
1:33 - 1:39and therefore all women have a kind
of intuitive solidarity or sisterhood." -
1:39 - 1:41And the black woman said,
"I'm not so sure. -
1:42 - 1:44Let me ask you a question."
-
1:44 - 1:47So the black woman
says to the white woman, -
1:47 - 1:50"When you wake up in the morning
and you look in the mirror, -
1:50 - 1:51what do you see?"
-
1:51 - 1:53And the white woman said, "I see a woman."
-
1:54 - 1:57And the black woman said,
"You see, that's the problem for me. -
1:57 - 2:01Because when I wake up in the morning
and I look in the mirror," she said, -
2:01 - 2:02"I see a black woman.
-
2:02 - 2:07To me, race is visible. But to you,
race is invisible. You don't see it." -
2:08 - 2:10And then she said
something really startling. -
2:10 - 2:12She said, "That's how privilege works.
-
2:13 - 2:16Privilege is invisible
to those who have it." -
2:17 - 2:20It is a luxury, I will say
to the white people sitting in this room, -
2:20 - 2:24not to have to think about race
every split second of our lives. -
2:24 - 2:27Privilege is invisible
to those who have it. -
2:27 - 2:30Now remember, I was
the only man in this group, -
2:30 - 2:33so when I witnessed this, I went, "Oh no."
-
2:33 - 2:35(Laughter)
-
2:35 - 2:37And somebody said,
"Well what was that reaction?" -
2:37 - 2:41And I said, "Well, when I wake up
in the morning and I look in the mirror, -
2:41 - 2:42I see a human being.
-
2:43 - 2:45I'm kind of the generic person.
-
2:45 - 2:49You know, I'm a middle class white man.
I have no race, no class, no gender. -
2:49 - 2:51I'm universally generalizable."
-
2:51 - 2:53(Laughter)
-
2:53 - 2:57So I like to think that was the moment
I became a middle class white man, -
2:57 - 3:01that class and race and gender
were not about other people, -
3:01 - 3:02they were about me.
-
3:02 - 3:04I had to start thinking about them,
-
3:04 - 3:08and it had been privilege that had
kept it invisible to me for so long. -
3:09 - 3:12Now, I wish I could tell you
this story ends 30 years ago -
3:12 - 3:13in that little discussion group,
-
3:13 - 3:17but I was reminded of it quite recently
at my university where I teach. -
3:17 - 3:21I have a colleague, and she and I
both teach the sociology of gender course -
3:21 - 3:23on alternate semesters.
-
3:23 - 3:25So she gives a guest lecture
for me when I teach. -
3:26 - 3:28I give a guest lecture
for her when she teaches. -
3:28 - 3:31So I walk into her class
to give a guest lecture, -
3:31 - 3:33about 300 students in the room,
-
3:33 - 3:37and as I walk in, one of the students
looks up and says, -
3:37 - 3:39"Oh, finally, an objective opinion."
-
3:41 - 3:44All that semester, whenever
my colleague opened her mouth, -
3:44 - 3:46what my students saw was a woman.
-
3:46 - 3:48I mean, if you were to say to my students,
-
3:49 - 3:52"There is structural inequality
based on gender in the United States," -
3:52 - 3:54they'd say, "Well of course
you'd say that. -
3:54 - 3:56You're a woman. You're biased."
-
3:56 - 3:58When I say it, they go,
"Wow, is that interesting. -
3:58 - 4:01Is that going to be on the test?
How do you spell 'structural'?" -
4:01 - 4:03(Laughter)
-
4:03 - 4:06So I hope you all can see,
-
4:06 - 4:08this is what objectivity looks like.
-
4:08 - 4:12(Laughter) (Applause)
-
4:12 - 4:15Disembodied Western rationality.
-
4:16 - 4:18(Laughter)
-
4:18 - 4:22And that, by the way, is why I think
men so often wear ties. -
4:22 - 4:24(Laughter)
-
4:24 - 4:29Because if you are going to embody
disembodied Western rationality, -
4:29 - 4:30you need a signifier,
-
4:30 - 4:34and what could be a better signifier
of disembodied Western rationality -
4:34 - 4:39than a garment that at one end is a noose
and the other end points to the genitals? -
4:39 - 4:44(Laughter) (Applause)
-
4:46 - 4:50That is mind-body dualism right there.
-
4:52 - 4:56So making gender visible to men
-
4:56 - 5:01is the first step to engaging men
to support gender equality. -
5:01 - 5:03Now, when men first hear
about gender equality, -
5:03 - 5:05when they first start thinking about it,
-
5:05 - 5:08they often think, many men think,
-
5:08 - 5:12well, that's right,
that's fair, that's just, -
5:12 - 5:14that's the ethical imperative.
-
5:15 - 5:17But not all men.
-
5:17 - 5:19Some men think --
the lightning bolt goes off, -
5:19 - 5:22and they go, "Oh my God,
yes, gender equality," -
5:22 - 5:26and they will immediately begin
to mansplain to you your oppression. -
5:28 - 5:33They see supporting gender equality
something akin to the cavalry, -
5:33 - 5:36like, "Thanks very much for bringing this
to our attention, ladies, -
5:36 - 5:37we'll take it from here."
-
5:37 - 5:42This results in a syndrome that I like
to call 'premature self-congratulation.' -
5:42 - 5:46(Laughter) (Applause)
-
5:46 - 5:50There's another group, though,
that actively resists gender equality, -
5:50 - 5:56that sees gender equality
as something that is detrimental to men. -
5:56 - 6:00I was on a TV talk show
opposite four white men. -
6:00 - 6:03This is the beginning of the book
I wrote, 'Angry White Men.' -
6:03 - 6:05These were four angry white men
-
6:05 - 6:09who believed that they,
white men in America, -
6:09 - 6:13were the victims of reverse discrimination
in the workplace. -
6:14 - 6:17And they all told stories
about how they were qualified for jobs, -
6:17 - 6:18qualified for promotions,
-
6:18 - 6:20they didn't get them,
they were really angry. -
6:20 - 6:24And the reason I'm telling you this
is I want you to hear the title -
6:24 - 6:25of this particular show.
-
6:25 - 6:27It was a quote from one of the men,
-
6:27 - 6:29and the quote was,
-
6:29 - 6:31"A Black Woman Stole My Job."
-
6:32 - 6:34And they all told their stories,
-
6:34 - 6:36qualified for jobs,
qualified for promotions, -
6:36 - 6:37didn't get it, really angry.
-
6:37 - 6:39And then it was my turn to speak,
-
6:39 - 6:42and I said, "I have
just one question for you guys, -
6:42 - 6:44and it's about the title of the show,
-
6:45 - 6:46'A Black Woman Stole My Job.'
-
6:46 - 6:49Actually, it's about
one word in the title. -
6:49 - 6:52I want to know about the word 'my.'
-
6:52 - 6:55Where did you get the idea
it was your job? -
6:55 - 6:59Why isn't the title of the show,
'A Black Woman Got the Job?' -
6:59 - 7:01or 'A Black Woman Got A Job?'"
-
7:01 - 7:04Because without confronting
men's sense of entitlement, -
7:04 - 7:09I don't think we'll ever understand
why so many men resist gender equality. -
7:09 - 7:15(Applause)
-
7:15 - 7:18Look, we think this
is a level playing field, -
7:18 - 7:21so any policy that tilts it
even a little bit, -
7:21 - 7:23we think, "Oh my God,
water's rushing uphill. -
7:23 - 7:25It's reverse discrimination against us."
-
7:25 - 7:26(Laughter)
-
7:26 - 7:27So let me be very clear:
-
7:28 - 7:31white men in Europe and the United States
-
7:31 - 7:35are the beneficiaries of the single
greatest affirmative action program -
7:35 - 7:36in the history of the world.
-
7:37 - 7:39It is called "the history of the world."
-
7:39 - 7:43(Laughter) (Applause)
-
7:45 - 7:49So, now I've established
some of the obstacles to engaging men, -
7:49 - 7:52but why should we support gender equality?
-
7:52 - 7:55Of course, it's fair,
it's right and it's just. -
7:55 - 7:57But more than that,
-
7:57 - 8:01gender equality is also
in our interest as men. -
8:02 - 8:06If you listen to what men say
about what they want in their lives, -
8:06 - 8:12gender equality is actually a way
for us to get the lives we want to live. -
8:12 - 8:15Gender equality is good for countries.
-
8:16 - 8:20It turns out, according to most studies,
-
8:20 - 8:23that those countries
that are the most gender equal -
8:23 - 8:27are also the countries that score highest
on the happiness scale. -
8:27 - 8:30And that's not just because
they're all in Europe. -
8:30 - 8:31(Laughter)
-
8:31 - 8:35Even within Europe, those countries
that are more gender equal -
8:35 - 8:37also have the highest levels of happiness.
-
8:38 - 8:40It is also good for companies.
-
8:41 - 8:44Research by Catalyst and others
has shown conclusively -
8:44 - 8:48that the more gender-equal companies are,
-
8:48 - 8:52the better it is for workers,
-
8:52 - 8:54the happier their labor force is.
-
8:54 - 8:58They have lower job turnover.
They have lower levels of attrition. -
8:58 - 9:00They have an easier time recruiting.
-
9:00 - 9:03They have higher rates of retention,
higher job satisfaction, -
9:03 - 9:06higher rates of productivity.
-
9:06 - 9:08So the question I'm often asked
in companies is, -
9:09 - 9:12"Boy, this gender equality thing,
that's really going to be expensive, huh?" -
9:12 - 9:16And I say, "Oh no, in fact,
what you have to start calculating -
9:16 - 9:20is how much gender inequality
is already costing you. -
9:20 - 9:22It is extremely expensive."
-
9:23 - 9:25So it is good for business.
-
9:26 - 9:28And the other thing is, it's good for men.
-
9:29 - 9:32It is good for the kind of lives
we want to live, -
9:32 - 9:36because young men especially
have changed enormously, -
9:36 - 9:39and they want to have lives
that are animated -
9:39 - 9:42by terrific relationships
with their children. -
9:42 - 9:46They expect their partners,
their spouses, their wives, -
9:46 - 9:47to work outside the home
-
9:47 - 9:50and be just as committed
to their careers as they are. -
9:50 - 9:54I was talking, to give you
an illustration of this change -- -
9:54 - 9:56Some of you may remember this.
-
9:56 - 10:01When I was a lot younger,
there was a riddle that was posed to us. -
10:01 - 10:04Some of you may wince
to remember this riddle. -
10:04 - 10:06This riddle went something like this.
-
10:06 - 10:10A man and his son
are driving on the freeway, -
10:10 - 10:12and they're in a terrible accident,
-
10:12 - 10:14and the father is killed,
-
10:14 - 10:17and the son is brought
to the hospital emergency room, -
10:17 - 10:20and as they're bringing the son
into the hospital emergency room, -
10:20 - 10:24the emergency room attending physician
sees the boy and says, -
10:24 - 10:26"Oh, I can't treat him, that's my son."
-
10:26 - 10:27How is this possible?
-
10:28 - 10:30We were flummoxed by this.
-
10:30 - 10:33We could not figure this out.
-
10:33 - 10:35(Laughter)
-
10:35 - 10:38Well, I decided to do a little experiment
with my 16-year old son. -
10:38 - 10:41He had a bunch of his friends
hanging out at the house -
10:41 - 10:44watching a game on TV recently.
-
10:44 - 10:46So I decided I would pose
this riddle to them, -
10:46 - 10:49just to see, to gauge the level of change.
-
10:49 - 10:51Well, 16-year-old boys,
-
10:51 - 10:55they immediately turned to me
and said, "It's his mom." Right? -
10:55 - 10:57No problem. Just like that.
-
10:57 - 11:00Except for my son, who said,
"Well, he could have two dads." -
11:00 - 11:05(Laughter) (Applause)
-
11:05 - 11:09That's an index, an indicator
of how things have changed. -
11:09 - 11:15Younger men today expect
to be able to balance work and family. -
11:15 - 11:20They want to be dual-career,
dual-carer couples. -
11:20 - 11:24They want to be able to balance
work and family with their partners. -
11:24 - 11:26They want to be involved fathers.
-
11:26 - 11:28Now, it turns out
-
11:28 - 11:31that the more egalitarian
our relationships, -
11:31 - 11:34the happier both partners are.
-
11:35 - 11:39Data from psychologists and sociologists
are quite persuasive here. -
11:39 - 11:45I think we have the persuasive numbers,
the data, to prove to men -
11:45 - 11:49that gender equality
is not a zero-sum game, but a win-win. -
11:49 - 11:51Here's what the data show.
-
11:51 - 11:56Now, when men begin
the process of engaging -
11:56 - 11:58with balancing work and family,
-
11:58 - 12:01we often have two phrases
that we use to describe what we do. -
12:01 - 12:04We pitch in and we help out.
-
12:04 - 12:05(Laughter)
-
12:05 - 12:08And I'm going to propose
something a little bit more radical, -
12:08 - 12:09one word: "share."
-
12:09 - 12:11(Laughter)
-
12:11 - 12:13Because here's what the data show:
-
12:13 - 12:15when men share housework and childcare,
-
12:15 - 12:17their children do better in school.
-
12:18 - 12:20Their children have lower rates
of absenteeism, -
12:20 - 12:22higher rates of achievement.
-
12:22 - 12:25They are less likely
to be diagnosed with ADHD. -
12:25 - 12:27They are less likely
to see a child psychiatrist. -
12:27 - 12:30They are less likely
to be put on medication. -
12:30 - 12:33So when men share housework and childcare,
-
12:34 - 12:37their children are happier and healthier,
-
12:37 - 12:38and men want this.
-
12:40 - 12:42When men share housework and childcare,
-
12:42 - 12:45their wives are happier. Duh.
-
12:46 - 12:48Not only that, their wives are healthier.
-
12:48 - 12:50Their wives are less likely
to see a therapist, -
12:50 - 12:52less likely to be diagnosed
with depression, -
12:52 - 12:56less likely to be put on medication,
more likely to go to the gym, -
12:56 - 12:59report higher levels
of marital satisfaction. -
12:59 - 13:01So when men share housework and childcare,
-
13:01 - 13:03their wives are happier and healthier,
-
13:03 - 13:05and men certainly want this as well.
-
13:07 - 13:09When men share housework and childcare,
-
13:09 - 13:11the men are healthier.
-
13:11 - 13:15They smoke less, drink less,
take recreational drugs less often. -
13:15 - 13:17They are less likely to go to the ER
-
13:17 - 13:20but more like to go to a doctor
for routine screenings. -
13:20 - 13:22They are less likely to see a therapist,
-
13:22 - 13:25less likely to be diagnosed
with depression, -
13:25 - 13:27less likely to be taking
prescription medication. -
13:27 - 13:29So when men share housework and childcare,
-
13:29 - 13:32the men are happier and healthier.
-
13:32 - 13:34And who wouldn't want that?
-
13:35 - 13:36And finally,
-
13:36 - 13:38when men share housework and childcare,
-
13:38 - 13:39they have more sex.
-
13:39 - 13:41(Laughter)
-
13:41 - 13:43Now, of these four fascinating findings,
-
13:43 - 13:46which one do you think
Men's Health magazine put on its cover? -
13:46 - 13:49(Laughter)
-
13:49 - 13:51"Housework Makes Her Horny.
-
13:52 - 13:53(Not When She Does It.)"
-
13:53 - 13:55(Laughter)
-
13:55 - 13:57Now, I will say,
-
13:57 - 14:00just to remind the men in the audience,
-
14:00 - 14:04these data were collected
over a really long period of time, -
14:04 - 14:07so I don't want listeners to say,
-
14:07 - 14:10"Hmm, OK, I think
I'll do the dishes tonight." -
14:10 - 14:14These data were collected
over a really long period of time. -
14:14 - 14:16But I think it shows something important,
-
14:17 - 14:20that when Men's Health magazine
put it on their cover, -
14:20 - 14:22they also called,
you'll love this, "Choreplay." -
14:23 - 14:28So, what we found
is something really important, -
14:28 - 14:30that gender equality
-
14:30 - 14:33is in the interest of countries,
-
14:33 - 14:37of companies, and of men,
-
14:37 - 14:39and their children and their partners,
-
14:39 - 14:42that gender equality
is not a zero-sum game. -
14:42 - 14:43It's not a win-lose.
-
14:43 - 14:46It is a win-win for everyone.
-
14:46 - 14:48And what we also know
-
14:48 - 14:52is we cannot fully empower women and girls
-
14:52 - 14:55unless we engage boys and men.
-
14:55 - 14:56We know this.
-
14:57 - 14:59And my position is
-
14:59 - 15:03that men need the very things
that women have identified -
15:03 - 15:06that they need to live the lives
they say they want to live -
15:06 - 15:09in order to live the lives
that we say we want to live. -
15:11 - 15:16In 1915, on the eve of one
of the great suffrage demonstrations -
15:16 - 15:18down Fifth Avenue in New York City,
-
15:18 - 15:21a writer in New York
wrote an article in a magazine, -
15:22 - 15:25and the title of the article was,
-
15:25 - 15:26"Feminism for Men."
-
15:27 - 15:30And this was the first line
of that article: -
15:30 - 15:35"Feminism will make it possible
for the first time for men to be free." -
15:35 - 15:36Thank you.
-
15:36 - 15:44(Applause)
- Title:
- Why gender equality is good for everyone — men included
- Speaker:
- Michael Kimmel
- Description:
-
Yes, we all know it’s the right thing to do. But Michael Kimmel makes the surprising, funny, practical case for treating men and women equally in the workplace and at home. It’s not a zero-sum game, but a win-win that will result in more opportunity and more happiness for everybody.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
closed TED
- Project:
- TEDTalks
- Duration:
- 15:58
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Camille Martínez commented on English subtitles for Why gender equality is good for everyone — men included | |
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Camille Martínez edited English subtitles for Why gender equality is good for everyone — men included | |
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Brian Greene edited English subtitles for Why gender equality is good for everyone — men included | |
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Brian Greene edited English subtitles for Why gender equality is good for everyone — men included | |
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Brian Greene edited English subtitles for Why gender equality is good for everyone — men included |
Camille Martínez
Hi,
Please note that on 2/23/16, the word "CALVary" was changed to "CAValry" in the below subtitle:
5:28 - 5:33
They see supporting gender equality
something akin to the cavalry,
Thank you,
Camille