How America fails new parents -- and their babies | Jessica Shortall | TEDxSMU
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0:14 - 0:17What does a working mother look like?
-
0:17 - 0:20If you ask the Internet,
this is what you'll be told. -
0:21 - 0:25Never mind that this is
what you'll actually produce -
0:25 - 0:28if you attempt to work at a computer
with a baby on your lap. -
0:28 - 0:29(Laughter)
-
0:29 - 0:32But no, this is a working mother.
-
0:32 - 0:36You'll notice a theme in these photos.
We'll look at a lot of them. -
0:36 - 0:38That theme is amazing natural lighting,
-
0:38 - 0:41which, as we all know,
-
0:41 - 0:45is the hallmark
of every American workplace. -
0:45 - 0:49There are thousands of images like these.
-
0:49 - 0:52Just put the term "working mother"
into any Google image search engine, -
0:52 - 0:54stock photo site.
-
0:54 - 0:55They're all over the Internet,
-
0:55 - 0:57they're topping
blog posts and news pieces, -
0:57 - 1:02and I've become kind of obsessed with them
and the lie that they tell us -
1:02 - 1:04and the comfort that they give us,
-
1:04 - 1:07that when it comes
to new working motherhood in America, -
1:07 - 1:09everything's fine.
-
1:09 - 1:11But it's not fine.
-
1:11 - 1:14As a country, we are sending
millions of women back to work -
1:14 - 1:18every year, incredibly
and kind of horrifically soon -
1:18 - 1:20after they give birth.
-
1:20 - 1:21That's a moral problem
-
1:21 - 1:25but today I'm also going to tell you
why it's an economic problem. -
1:25 - 1:29I got so annoyed and obsessed
with the unreality of these images, -
1:29 - 1:31which look nothing like my life,
-
1:31 - 1:36that I recently decided to shoot and star
in a parody series of stock photos -
1:36 - 1:38that I hoped the world would start to use
-
1:38 - 1:43just showing the really awkward reality
of going back to work -
1:43 - 1:46when your baby's food source
is attached to your body. -
1:47 - 1:50I'm just going to show you two of them.
-
1:50 - 1:52(Laughter)
-
1:52 - 1:55Nothing says "Give that girl a promotion"
like leaking breast milk -
1:55 - 1:57through your dress during a presentation.
-
1:57 - 1:59You'll notice that there's
no baby in this photo, -
2:00 - 2:02because that's not how this works,
-
2:02 - 2:04not for most working mothers.
-
2:05 - 2:07Did you know, and this will ruin your day,
-
2:07 - 2:10that every time a toilet is flushed,
its contents are aerosolized -
2:10 - 2:12and they'll stay airborne for hours?
-
2:12 - 2:15And yet, for many new working mothers,
-
2:15 - 2:18this is the only place during the day
that they can find to make food -
2:18 - 2:20for their newborn babies.
-
2:21 - 2:24I put these things,
a whole dozen of them, into the world. -
2:24 - 2:26I wanted to make a point.
-
2:26 - 2:29I didn't know what I was also doing
was opening a door, -
2:29 - 2:33because now, total strangers
from all walks of life -
2:33 - 2:35write to me all the time
-
2:35 - 2:39just to tell me what it's like
for them to go back to work -
2:39 - 2:42within days or weeks of having a baby.
-
2:42 - 2:44I'm going to share
10 of their stories with you today. -
2:44 - 2:48They are totally real,
some of them are very raw, -
2:48 - 2:51and not one of them
looks anything like this. -
2:52 - 2:54Here's the first.
-
2:54 - 2:58"I was an active duty
service member at a federal prison. -
2:58 - 3:02I returned to work after the maximum
allowed eight weeks for my C-section. -
3:02 - 3:06A male coworker was annoyed
that I had been out on 'vacation,' -
3:06 - 3:10so he intentionally opened the door on me
while I was pumping breast milk -
3:10 - 3:14and stood in the doorway
with inmates in the hallway." -
3:14 - 3:17Most of the stories that these women,
total strangers, send to me now, -
3:17 - 3:19are not actually even about breastfeeding.
-
3:19 - 3:21A woman wrote to me to say,
-
3:21 - 3:26"I gave birth to twins and went back
to work after seven unpaid weeks. -
3:26 - 3:28Emotionally, I was a wreck.
-
3:28 - 3:32Physically, I had a severe hemorrhage
during labor, and major tearing, -
3:32 - 3:35so I could barely get up, sit or walk.
-
3:35 - 3:39My employer told me I wasn't allowed
to use my available vacation days -
3:39 - 3:41because it was budget season."
-
3:42 - 3:46I've come to believe that we can't look
situations like these in the eye -
3:46 - 3:48because then we'd be horrified,
-
3:48 - 3:51and if we get horrified
then we have to do something about it. -
3:51 - 3:55So we choose to look at,
and believe, this image. -
3:55 - 3:58I don't really know
what's going on in this picture, -
3:58 - 4:00because I find it weird
and slightly creepy. -
4:00 - 4:02(Laughter)
-
4:02 - 4:03Like, what is she doing?
-
4:03 - 4:07But I know what it tells us.
-
4:07 - 4:10It tells us that everything's fine.
-
4:10 - 4:13This working mother, all working mothers
and all of their babies, are fine. -
4:13 - 4:15There's nothing to see here.
-
4:15 - 4:19And anyway, women have made a choice,
-
4:19 - 4:21so none of it's even our problem.
-
4:21 - 4:24I want to break this choice thing
down into two parts. -
4:24 - 4:28The first choice says
that women have chosen to work. -
4:28 - 4:30So, that's not true.
-
4:30 - 4:35Today in America, women make up
47 percent of the workforce, -
4:35 - 4:37and in 40 percent of American households
-
4:37 - 4:41a woman is the sole
or primary breadwinner. -
4:41 - 4:45Our paid work is a part, a huge part,
of the engine of this economy, -
4:45 - 4:48and it is essential
for the engines of our families. -
4:48 - 4:52On a national level,
our paid work is not optional. -
4:52 - 4:55Choice number two says that women
are choosing to have babies, -
4:55 - 4:58so women alone should bear
the consequences of those choices. -
5:00 - 5:02You know, that's one of those things
-
5:02 - 5:04that when you hear it in passing,
can sound correct. -
5:04 - 5:06I didn't make you have a baby.
-
5:06 - 5:08I certainly wasn't there
when that happened. -
5:09 - 5:14But that stance
ignores a fundamental truth, -
5:14 - 5:19which is that our procreation
on a national scale is not optional. -
5:19 - 5:23The babies that women, many of them
working women, are having today, -
5:24 - 5:27will one day fill our workforce,
protect our shores, -
5:27 - 5:29make up our tax base.
-
5:29 - 5:33Our procreation
on a national scale is not optional. -
5:33 - 5:34These aren't choices.
-
5:34 - 5:38We need women to work.
We need working women to have babies. -
5:38 - 5:41So we should make
doing those things at the same time -
5:41 - 5:42at least palatable, right?
-
5:43 - 5:46OK, this is pop quiz time:
-
5:46 - 5:49what percentage of working
women in America do you think -
5:49 - 5:52have no access to paid maternity leave?
-
5:53 - 5:5588 percent.
-
5:56 - 5:5988 percent of working mothers
will not get one minute of paid leave -
5:59 - 6:01after they have a baby.
-
6:01 - 6:04So now you're thinking about unpaid leave.
-
6:04 - 6:08It exists in America.
It's called FMLA. It does not work. -
6:08 - 6:11Because of the way it's structured,
all kinds of exceptions, -
6:11 - 6:15half of new mothers are ineligible for it.
-
6:15 - 6:16Here's what that looks like.
-
6:18 - 6:20"We adopted our son.
-
6:20 - 6:24When I got the call, the day he was born,
I had to take off work. -
6:24 - 6:28I had not been there long enough
to qualify for FMLA, -
6:28 - 6:30so I wasn't eligible for unpaid leave.
-
6:30 - 6:33When I took time off
to meet my newborn son, -
6:33 - 6:34I lost my job."
-
6:36 - 6:41These corporate stock photos
hide another reality, another layer. -
6:41 - 6:44Of those who do have access
to just that unpaid leave, -
6:44 - 6:48most women can't afford
to take much of it at all. -
6:48 - 6:51A nurse told me, "I didn't qualify
for short-term disability -
6:51 - 6:55because my pregnancy
was considered a preexisting condition. -
6:55 - 6:58We used up all of our tax returns
and half of our savings -
6:58 - 7:00during my six unpaid weeks.
-
7:00 - 7:01We just couldn't manage any longer.
-
7:02 - 7:04Physically it was hard,
but emotionally it was worse. -
7:04 - 7:07I struggled for months
being away from my son." -
7:07 - 7:10So this decision
to go back to work so early, -
7:10 - 7:14it's a rational economic decision
driven by family finances, -
7:14 - 7:16but it's often physically horrific
-
7:16 - 7:20because putting a human
into the world is messy. -
7:20 - 7:21A waitress told me,
-
7:21 - 7:25"With my first baby, I was back at work
five weeks postpartum. -
7:25 - 7:28With my second, I had to have
major surgery after giving birth, -
7:28 - 7:31so I waited until six weeks to go back.
-
7:31 - 7:33I had third degree tears."
-
7:35 - 7:3823 percent of new
working mothers in America -
7:38 - 7:43will be back on the job
within two weeks of giving birth. -
7:44 - 7:49"I worked as a bartender and cook,
average of 75 hours a week while pregnant. -
7:49 - 7:52I had to return to work
before my baby was a month old, -
7:52 - 7:54working 60 hours a week.
-
7:54 - 7:59One of my coworkers was only able
to afford 10 days off with her baby." -
7:59 - 8:03Of course, this isn't just a scenario
with economic and physical implications. -
8:03 - 8:08Childbirth is, and always will be,
an enormous psychological event. -
8:08 - 8:10A teacher told me,
-
8:10 - 8:13"I returned to work
eight weeks after my son was born. -
8:13 - 8:15I already suffer from anxiety,
-
8:15 - 8:20but the panic attacks I had prior
to returning to work were unbearable." -
8:20 - 8:22Statistically speaking,
-
8:22 - 8:25the shorter a woman's leave
after having a baby, -
8:25 - 8:28the more likely she will be to suffer
from postpartum mood disorders -
8:28 - 8:30like depression and anxiety,
-
8:31 - 8:35and among many potential
consequences of those disorders, -
8:35 - 8:38suicide is the second
most common cause of death -
8:38 - 8:40in a woman's first year postpartum.
-
8:41 - 8:43Heads up that this next story --
-
8:43 - 8:47I've never met this woman,
but I find it hard to get through. -
8:47 - 8:52"I feel tremendous grief and rage
that I lost an essential, -
8:52 - 8:55irreplaceable and formative
time with my son. -
8:56 - 8:59Labor and delivery
left me feeling absolutely broken. -
8:59 - 9:04For months, all I remember
is the screaming: colic, they said. -
9:04 - 9:06On the inside, I was drowning.
-
9:06 - 9:09Every morning, I asked myself
how much longer I could do it. -
9:10 - 9:13I was allowed to bring my baby to work.
-
9:13 - 9:16I closed my office door
while I rocked and shushed -
9:16 - 9:19and begged him to stop screaming
so I wouldn't get in trouble. -
9:19 - 9:21I hid behind that office door
every damn day -
9:21 - 9:23and cried while he screamed.
-
9:23 - 9:27I cried in the bathroom
while I washed out the pump equipment. -
9:27 - 9:30Every day, I cried all the way to work
and all the way home again. -
9:30 - 9:33I promised my boss that the work
I didn't get done during the day, -
9:33 - 9:35I'd make up at night from home.
-
9:35 - 9:39I thought, there's just something
wrong with me that I can't swing this." -
9:41 - 9:43So those are the mothers.
-
9:43 - 9:45What of the babies?
-
9:45 - 9:47As a country, do we care
about the millions of babies -
9:47 - 9:49born every year to working mothers?
-
9:49 - 9:51I say we don't,
-
9:51 - 9:54not until they're of working
and tax-paying and military-serving age. -
9:54 - 9:56We tell them we'll see them in 18 years,
-
9:56 - 9:58and getting there is kind of on them.
-
10:00 - 10:03One of the reasons I know this
is that babies whose mothers -
10:03 - 10:05have 12 or more weeks at home with them
-
10:05 - 10:09are more likely to get their vaccinations
and their well checks in their first year, -
10:09 - 10:14so those babies are more protected
from deadly and disabling diseases. -
10:14 - 10:17But those things are hidden
behind images like this. -
10:20 - 10:26America has a message for new mothers
who work and for their babies. -
10:26 - 10:30Whatever time you get together,
you should be grateful for it, -
10:30 - 10:32and you're an inconvenience
-
10:32 - 10:35to the economy and to your employers.
-
10:35 - 10:40That narrative of gratitude
runs through a lot of the stories I hear. -
10:40 - 10:42A woman told me,
-
10:42 - 10:44"I went back at eight weeks
after my C-section -
10:44 - 10:46because my husband was out of work.
-
10:46 - 10:48Without me, my daughter
had failure to thrive. -
10:48 - 10:50She wouldn't take a bottle.
-
10:50 - 10:51She started losing weight.
-
10:51 - 10:54Thankfully, my manager
was very understanding. -
10:54 - 10:56He let my mom bring my baby,
-
10:56 - 10:58who was on oxygen and a monitor,
-
10:58 - 11:00four times a shift so I could nurse her."
-
11:02 - 11:05There's a little club
of countries in the world -
11:05 - 11:09that offer no national
paid leave to new mothers. -
11:09 - 11:12Care to guess who they are?
-
11:12 - 11:16The first eight make up eight million
in total population. -
11:16 - 11:19They are Papua New Guinea,
Suriname and the tiny island nations -
11:19 - 11:25of Micronesia, Marshall Islands,
Nauru, Niue, Palau and Tonga. -
11:25 - 11:28Number nine is the United
States of America, -
11:28 - 11:30with 320 million people.
-
11:31 - 11:34Oh, that's it.
-
11:34 - 11:36That's the end of the list.
-
11:36 - 11:38Every other economy on the planet
-
11:38 - 11:42has found a way to make some level
of national paid leave work -
11:42 - 11:45for the people doing the work
of the future of those countries, -
11:45 - 11:49but we say,
"We couldn't possibly do that." -
11:49 - 11:51We say that the market
will solve this problem, -
11:51 - 11:56and then we cheer when corporations
offer even more paid leave to the women -
11:56 - 11:59who are already the highest-educated
and highest-paid among us. -
11:59 - 12:01Remember that 88 percent?
-
12:01 - 12:05Those middle- and low-income women
are not going to participate in that. -
12:06 - 12:11We know that there are staggering
economic, financial, physical -
12:11 - 12:14and emotional costs to this approach.
-
12:14 - 12:18We have decided --
decided, not an accident, -
12:18 - 12:22to pass these costs directly
on to working mothers and their babies. -
12:22 - 12:25We know the price tag is higher
for low-income women, -
12:25 - 12:27therefore disproportionately
for women of color. -
12:27 - 12:30We pass them on anyway.
-
12:30 - 12:32All of this is to America's shame.
-
12:33 - 12:35But it's also to America's risk.
-
12:36 - 12:38Because what would happen
-
12:38 - 12:42if all of these individual
so-called choices to have babies -
12:42 - 12:46started to turn into individual choices
not to have babies. -
12:47 - 12:49One woman told me,
-
12:49 - 12:52"New motherhood is hard.
It shouldn't be traumatic. -
12:52 - 12:55When we talk about expanding
our family now, -
12:55 - 12:59we focus on how much time I would have
to care for myself and a new baby. -
12:59 - 13:02If we were to have to do it again
the same way as with our first, -
13:02 - 13:04we might stick with one kid."
-
13:06 - 13:09The birthrate needed in America
to keep the population stable -
13:09 - 13:11is 2.1 live births per woman.
-
13:11 - 13:14In America today, we are at 1.86.
-
13:15 - 13:17We need women to have babies,
-
13:17 - 13:22and we are actively disincentivizing
working women from doing that. -
13:22 - 13:25What would happen to work force,
to innovation, to GDP, -
13:25 - 13:29if one by one, the working mothers
of this country were to decide -
13:29 - 13:33that they can't bear
to do this thing more than once? -
13:34 - 13:37I'm here today with only
one idea worth spreading, -
13:37 - 13:39and you've guessed what it is.
-
13:39 - 13:43It is long since time
for the most powerful country on Earth -
13:43 - 13:45to offer national paid leave
-
13:45 - 13:48to the people doing the work
of the future of this country -
13:48 - 13:51and to the babies
who represent that future. -
13:51 - 13:53Childbirth is a public good.
-
13:53 - 13:55This leave should be state-subsidized.
-
13:56 - 13:58It should have no exceptions
for small businesses, -
13:58 - 14:00length of employment or entrepreneurs.
-
14:01 - 14:03It should be able
to be shared between partners. -
14:03 - 14:05I've talked today a lot about mothers,
-
14:05 - 14:08but co-parents matter on so many levels.
-
14:10 - 14:13Not one more woman
should have to go back to work -
14:13 - 14:16while she is hobbling and bleeding.
-
14:16 - 14:19Not one more family should have
to drain their savings account -
14:20 - 14:23to buy a few days
of rest and recovery and bonding. -
14:23 - 14:25Not one more fragile infant
-
14:26 - 14:28should have to go directly
from the incubator to day care -
14:28 - 14:31because his parents have used up
all of their meager time -
14:31 - 14:33sitting in the NICU.
-
14:33 - 14:36Not one more working family
should be told that the collision -
14:36 - 14:40of their work, their needed work
and their needed parenthood, -
14:40 - 14:42is their problem alone.
-
14:43 - 14:47The catch is that when this is happening
to a new family, it is consuming, -
14:47 - 14:50and a family with a new baby
is more financially vulnerable -
14:50 - 14:52than they've ever been before,
-
14:52 - 14:56so that new mother cannot afford
to speak up on her own behalf. -
14:56 - 14:58But all of us have voices.
-
14:58 - 15:01I am done, done having babies,
-
15:02 - 15:03and you might be pre-baby,
-
15:03 - 15:05you might be post-baby,
-
15:05 - 15:06you might be no baby.
-
15:06 - 15:08It should not matter.
-
15:08 - 15:11We have to stop framing this
as a mother's issue, -
15:11 - 15:12or even a women's issue.
-
15:12 - 15:14This is an American issue.
-
15:16 - 15:20We need to stop buying the lie
that these images tell us. -
15:20 - 15:22We need to stop being comforted by them.
-
15:22 - 15:25We need to question
why we're told that this can't work -
15:25 - 15:28when we see it work
everywhere all over the world. -
15:28 - 15:32We need to recognize
that this American reality -
15:32 - 15:35is to our dishonor and to our peril.
-
15:35 - 15:38Because this is not,
-
15:38 - 15:39this is not,
-
15:39 - 15:43and this is not
what a working mother looks like. -
15:44 - 15:46(Applause)
- Title:
- How America fails new parents -- and their babies | Jessica Shortall | TEDxSMU
- Description:
-
We need women to work, and we need working women to have babies. So why is America one of the only countries in the world which offers no national paid leave to new working mothers? In this incisive talk, Jessica Shortall makes the impassioned case that the reality of new working motherhood in America is both hidden and horrible: millions of women, every year, are forced back to work within just weeks of giving birth. Her idea worth spreading: the time has come for us to recognize the economic, physical and psychological costs of our approach to working mothers and their babies, and to secure our economic future by providing paid leave to all working parents.
This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences.
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
- closed TED
- Project:
- TEDxTalks
- Duration:
- 15:48
Helene Batt edited English subtitles for How America fails new parents -- and their babies | Jessica Shortall | TEDxSMU | ||
TED Translators admin edited English subtitles for How America fails new parents -- and their babies | Jessica Shortall | TEDxSMU | ||
TED Translators admin edited English subtitles for How America fails new parents -- and their babies | Jessica Shortall | TEDxSMU | ||
TED Translators admin edited English subtitles for How America fails new parents -- and their babies | Jessica Shortall | TEDxSMU | ||
TED Translators admin edited English subtitles for How America fails new parents -- and their babies | Jessica Shortall | TEDxSMU | ||
TED Translators admin edited English subtitles for How America fails new parents -- and their babies | Jessica Shortall | TEDxSMU |